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"When I think of our times together, At David's invitation for Luke to join him in the shower, Luke became so nervous that he could barely unbutton his shirt, even ripping one of them off. Luke couldn't believe what David had just said. David could hardly believe he had said it as well. What the hell had happened to him? Why the sudden change? Why now and with an almost total stranger from the past? David had one foot inside the tub which housed the shower head. He waited with his own nervous grin until Luke was totally undressed and ready to get in the shower with him. Then David extended his hand to Luke. Once both were inside the tub, David pulled the shower curtain shut and the two faced each other, standing about a foot apart, neither of them knowing what to do next or what to say. Finally it was Luke who had mustered the courage to speak. "David...do you want to just shower...or...or other things...?" "Why don't we play it by ear and just wait and see what, if anything, happens." "All right." "Since this is a new experience for me, why don't you tell me, or somehow show me, at least partially, what you and Mark did?" "Well, this is stupid because I know you know how to take a shower by yourself. You've probably showered with Jenny, so it won't be that much different." "Actually, no! I've never showered with Jenny." "Really?" "Really..." "Well, you're standing under the shower head and are already wet, why don't we exchange places until I get wet, too." "Seems fair if you're gonna shower too," David joked with a slight uneasiness. The two men awkwardly turned around, each into the other's place, both being careful not to let their bodies touch. Neither of them looked down toward the other's genitals so only each, individually, knew if he had an erection. For what it's worth, both had raging hardons, the direct result of nature, even if not for any other reason. David put his head backwards under the shower spray to wet his hair, face, and let the water run down his chest and the rest of the front of his body. "OK, we're both wet," David said. "Now what?" "Do you have the soap?" "I have this bottle of body wash that Randy left inside the stall." "You take a handful and squirt me one as well." "OK, now what?" "Soap my chest while I soap yours." All this seemed very elementary and almost as childlike as two six-year-old kids bathing together for the first time. The two gently rubbed each other's chest working up a large amount of lather. "Now turn around and I'll do the same to your back, then you can do mine," Luke suggested. They both took a longer time than necessary on the other's back because the next step would lead to dangerous, unknown territory, at least for David. "Uh...what's next, the stomach?" David asked, showing a tinge of timidity. "No, face me and put your hands around my neck and we'll do the neck, ears, and face." Simultaneously, their hands went to the back of the other's neck and almost as if it was inevitable, they pulled their heads closer together, each taking one step toward the other until their lips were only inches away from the other's. Luke wanted to kiss David so badly, but wouldn't unless he got the 'OK' from David. The 'OK' was granted inside of five seconds as David placed his own lips firmly on Luke's. David had learned how to kiss from Thad, so this was familiar to him. To Luke it was wondrous, as he thought he was the recipient of David's first man-to-man kiss. To Luke's surprise, it was David who became the aggressor as he plunged his hot tongue into Luke's mouth. Having drawn their bodies together close enough to kiss, each man's secret erection was now clearly revealed to the other as they pressed their lower bodies as hard and firm as possible. Almost at the same time, each put his arms around the other's back, pulling them tightly together. David became more dominant and lowered his hands until he had one of Luke's butt cheeks in each hand, pulling the two together with a sudden ferocity. Luke's response was immediate as he gripped David's hips. The long, passionate kiss lasted until they were both out of breath and had to stop long enough to gasp for air. Each rested his head on the other's shoulder as the water splashed on their heads and down their bodies. "Oh, God, I never thought I'd be doing this with you!" Luke said. "I...I never thought I'd be doing this with any man...but, Luke, since I am, I'm glad it's you." "So am I." "Luke?" "Yes?" "Is this because I remind you of Mark?" "No...because I know it's you." "Thanks for saying that." "David, can I reach around and grab you with my hand?" "Only if I can grab you..." "Then let's go for it." It was strange to David to be holding another man's organ as this had never happened before. The night Randy performed oral sex on him, David had never touched Randy once. As each explored the other's penis and testicles, it was almost a relief for them to discover that they were practically the same size in every way. There was no child's play like 'mine's bigger than yours' or 'yours is bigger than mine, so I'm inferior to you'. It was as if they were touching their own organs and David realized that it didn't seem to bother him at all. "Wanna get each other off?" Luke said. "That'll do for now since we both have to hurry if we're gonna go out to dinner..." "Does that mean...you want to continue this later?" "We're sharing a bed tonight, aren't we?" David asked, looking directly into Luke's eyes. "Oh, my God! All this and heaven, too? Or may I say 'and dinner, too?'" "Luke, seriously, you know whatever we do, you're going to have to teach me, but at UV, I have a four-point-0, so I can be a fast learner." "In that case, let's stop. I want our first climax to be one that we both will remember. So let's not rush it." "Whatever you say, Teach!" "Let's just shower, get dressed, go out on the town with Randy and we'll take as much time as we want later on." "What about our goddamned hardons? We'll poke holes in Randy's fancy clothes!" "I'll show you a trick I learned during the little time I spent in military school. Close your eyes because this may hurt slightly." "OK." David closed his eyes while Luke triggered his middle finger against his thumb and flipped David's penis quickly. "Ow, dammit! That did hurt!" "Yeah, but it got rid of your erection, didn't it?" David looked down. "Yes, I guess it did...only let me do the same thing to you." "I can do it!" "Nope, you just taught me something and I have to try it myself to see how much I learned." "OK, but don't hurt me!" David did the same kind of flip on Luke and almost instantly both their penises were flaccid. "Looks like you're a very good teacher." "Yeah, if I recover...you flipped it so hard I might never get another erection." "I think I already know how to jump-start that!" "I'll bet you do...!" Randy came bursting into the bathroom as David and Luke were still facing one another behind the shower curtain. "Are you guys ready, yet...ooops! Sorry, I...I thought I paid the water bill. It was nice for both of you to think of me by saving the hot water. What the fuck are you two doing, as if I didn't know?" "Luke, do you think it's possible that you can teach Randy to knock before entering?" "Sorry, guys, but how was I to know that you two were getting to know each other in the biblical sense. After all, one of you, at least, is 'supposed' to be straight!" David uttered, "My...my back was sore and I asked Luke to rub one of my muscles under the hot shower." "I can't say for sure, but I'm willing to bet that muscle feels a lot better now, huh?" "Will you shut up, and get the heck out of here while we get dressed?" "Yes, but don't take too long. I called Thad and he's gonna meet us in half an hour." "Thad?" "Didn't I tell you that Thad and I...?" "No. You said you were in love but you didn't mention a name!" "Silly of me, wasn't it? Must've slipped my mind!" "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" "Not like the surprise I just experienced in the guest bathroom," Randy joked as he went out the bathroom, through the guest room, and on into the kitchen where he made himself a drink while his two guests finished...well, finished whatever they were doing and then get dressed. * * * Randy showed David and Luke, along with Thad, a tremendously entertaining evening. They had dinner at a four-star restaurant with a floor show, which was closely followed by three bars...one straight with a cabaret singer, and two gay bars with huge dancing floors where David danced openly with Luke...the first man he'd ever danced with. If Mark was somewhere looking down on his 'straight' brother, Mark must've been laughing his head off...or smiling warmly with a happy tear in his eye.. At midnight, Randy took David and Luke back to his apartment and told them that they would have the entire place to themselves as he had made plans to spend the night at Thad's. David and Luke were even more pleased since their first, and maybe only, night together would be alone...just the two of them. ... * * * By the time Randy reached Thad's, Thad had already gone into his bedroom and turned down the covers of his new king-size bed with its 1200 thread-count Egyptian cotton maroon sheets which felt smoother than silk against the skin. He had dimmed the lights to a romantic level, filled the CD player with recordings by Barbra Streisand, Nancy Wilson, Johnny Mathis, Shirley Horn, Chet Baker, George Shearing, Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra (of course), Sue Raney, and Paul Horn. Those CD's would play for approximately eight hours and their musical content and lyrics would supply words which Thad was not used to saying. On his new coffee table sat a bottle of 1982 Château Mouton-Rothschild which he'd bought for his first evening with Randy since their reunion. He hoped the atmosphere and setting would impress Randy to prove even further that he was a new Thad. Everything appeared to be perfect when Randy arrived at the door. "What took you so long?" Thad asked. "Ten minutes? Is that long?" Randy smiled. "It is when I've been waiting to hold you in my arms again." Thad replied. "Oh, God, I do want this to work between us this time," Randy said. "I see how you've changed and, after the way that trip with Father Chris affected me, I feel as if I've changed to a new and better person in just one day." "Oh--I forgot to ask---who helped Father Chris with his evening-meal deliveries?" "I don't have any idea what happened, Thad. It was like a fucking miracle. When I called to see what time he needed David and me...or me without David, since Luke was in town, I nearly dropped the phone when Father told me that the Thompson family, mom, dad, and Andy were going to help him." "You mean his accusers---? And after all the hell they put him through with the scandal?" "The very ones. It makes me almost believe there really is a God and he does work in mysterious ways." "The whole thing sounds mysterious...unless maybe Andy told his parents the truth about the diary and they felt guilty and wanted to help Father to kinda ease their conscience." "That's the same conclusion I came to." Randy replied. "Now, back to us...you and me...," Thad said, pulling Randy gently but firmly inside the apartment. Randy stopped dead in his tracks and gazed around. "All I can say is, 'wow', Thad, everything looks so elegant and, I might add, romantic...soft lights, soft music...I can imagine..." "Well, not everything is soft. I'll be happy to demonstrate. Come here." His arms surrounded Randy from behind. "Whoops! I no longer have to imagine! I mean when I spoke to you earlier about our first session together, your two-hour 'plus' erection, you hadn't taken Viagra or Cialis, had you?" "Never have used any of that stuff. I never needed it...when I had the right partner." "I don't know what I did to get you in that mood, but I hope I can do it again." "You can. You already have." Thad said, smiling. "You know, I don't want to make you angry, but I have to say this. You're the only man I can honestly say is beautiful. Your good looks go far beyond just being merely handsome." "I won't get angry if you'll allow me to blush. I can return the compliment by saying that not only do I find you good-looking, but you're the most virile, masculine gay guy I've ever known." "Uh uh, there'll be no bullshitting between us..." "That's not bullshit. It's just my veracious observation." "Enough talk, man! Come here, you..." Thad said as he pulled Randy close, giving him a long passionate kiss that, strangely for Randy, still was shaded with tenderness. Randy was swept off his feet emotionally as he gave in to Thad's amorous physical display. This indeed was a new Thad, because in the past, Thad had been more eager to get to sex and forget all ideas of foreplay. Had the animal turned into a lover? The kiss slowly ended, but the embrace remained strong. "Oh, God, I've needed this for so long, Thad," Randy said, breathlessly. "And you think I hadn't? Randy, baby, every night I spent alone made me think I'd never have a relationship with anyone. I got used to my job, I got used to coming home to four empty rooms. I thought that's the way it'd be for the rest of my life. Randy, all my life, I've had a fear that I'd die alone, but what became even worse was the realization that I was tired of living if I would always be alone. I don't know what happened. Maybe it was like we discussed at Denny's earlier today, perhaps it was David coming into our lives and sharpening our senses to the point where we could see that we all need someone in our lives and I suddenly looked at you with a different perspective. I'd been wrong about you and Mark. You were no villain or someone I had to ignore. I swear to you, Randy, I'll never ignore you or have a bad feeling about you again." "Now that all the negativity you had for me is gone, let's never talk about it again. Promise?" "Surely do," Thad replied as he kissed Randy again. "Hey, I've got a special bottle of wine sitting over there..." "Why don't we take it and the glasses into the bedroom, but only if we're careful not to spill any on the sheets." "If we do, hell, I've got more sheets. Before the evening is over, I hope there are lots of stains on the sheets." "My, my, Cap'n Butler, the way you do talk..." Randy waited at the bedroom door while Thad, almost tripping over a new ottoman, got the wine and glasses. "Damn! That fuckin' Tim must've set a trap for me. I didn't even know that piece of furniture existed until now." "It just reinforces the theory that all cops are clumsy!" Randy joked. The bedroom had speakers for the CD player under the bed and Barbra was singing, 'The Music That Makes Me Dance'. "Want me to pour before or after we undress?" Thad asked. "After...because the only thing I want now is to see you naked...all of you." "You're the beautiful one, let me see you first. Holy shit! When I look at you with the possibility that you might be mine for a long time or maybe forever, I get chills, something a cop's not supposed to get." They removed their clothes at the same time and when they were finished, they stood on opposite sides of the bed, each drinking in the sight of the other's body. "Jesus Christ!" Thad remarked. "I'm not so sure I even need the wine now." "It's been aging for years, a couple of hours more will just make it better." Thad set the bottle and glasses on one of the new night-stands and they both made a dive onto the Egyptian sheets. The suggestion of gentle lovemaking was now out of the picture as they engaged in a raging session of hot sex mixed with love. Their months of loneliness and 'doing without' suddenly vanished as they fell deeper and deeper into love. * * * If such a thing as a 'nervous' meter existed, it would have registered well over the redline, high enough to explode, trying to determine which was more anxious about their sleeping together, David or Luke. It was to be David's first time and a first-time dream fulfillment for Luke, finally going to bed with his first lover's brother, the man about whom he had fantasized for years. Unlike what was occurring at Thad's place, there was no wine and no music to prepare David and Luke for what was about to happen. Strangely enough, David had no second thoughts or skepticism toward his initiation to gay sex. He was anxiously looking forward to it. While they were in the shower together, earlier, it was almost comical the way David had made the decision. He thought, 'As long as I'm in Disney World, there's no sense in going home until you've ridden all the rides in the theme park'. During the past few days, he had lived with gays only...talked with them, joked with them, cried with them, 'gone out on the town' with them. even had a blow job from one of them...and he had to admit, he'd enjoyed every minute spent with them. No one would ever know if he went to bed with Luke. They were two old friends, (well almost). 'Mark had loved Luke enough to have sex with him, so why not try it?' David said to himself over and over throughout the evening. He knew that Luke realized that he was inexperienced and if the sex was a total disaster, his excuse was already established. To make David's first experience easier and less embarrassing, Luke turned off all the lights in the guest bedroom. It wasn't important that they see each other while they undressed since they had seen each other's nakedness earlier in the shower. Neither of them said a word. The only sound in the room was the ruffling of shirt buttons being undone; belts being unbuckled, and clothes dropping from their bodies, discarded on the floor. They eased down in the dark on opposite sides of the huge bed, both silent as they slid their bodies across the silk sheets to meet in the middle of the bed. Soon their arms went around the other's back and they kissed tenderly. As their bodies came closer, each was aware of the other's prominent erection. Slowly, Luke rolled David onto his back, topping him from lips to toes. David was enthralled by Luke's gentle movements as he began to glide his kisses down David's chest, across his stomach, his pubes, and finally to David's hidden treasure. David shuddered with extreme pleasure as Luke took him into his mouth. It was the same thing Randy had done to him, but this time was definitely different because Luke was not trying to gratify either of them; Luke was showing David how it feels to make love. David only thought of Jenny once during Luke's action...that thought that it had never been like this with his fiancée or ever could. Luke was giving him a wondrous feeling that David had never felt before and much to his surprise, it seemed totally right to David. This is how lovemaking should feel. While enjoying Luke's activity, David was trying to remember every detail so that he could reciprocate adequately when it was his turn. It was only a few minutes before David became aware he was about to reach a climax. Luke sensed it as well and slid his lips back up David's body until they were kissing once more. "Can I do that to you?" David asked. "Are you sure you want to, David? I mean--are you ready to try that?" "I think so. Only please tell me if I'm doing anything wrong." "David, nothing you do could ever be wrong to me." They switched positions and now Luke was on his back. Not giving himself time to hesitate and 'back out', David mimicked the trail Luke's lips had burned forever into his body and mind. When he reached Luke's massive manhood, there was no prolonged delay. David engulfed Luke's organ with his mouth. Luke didn't have to teach David what to do next. It just came naturally to him. He really wanted Luke...wanted all of him...and he took all of him, all the way down his throat. "Oh, God!" Luke cried out. Fearing that he had somehow hurt Luke, David stopped and pulled his head back until Luke's member was free. "What's wrong?" David asked. "Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Just don't stop!" Luke's outcry of heightened pleasure gave David confidence and the incentive to swallow Luke's organ even further. This was David's first time and apparently he had passed the test. Luke writhed and moaned, occasionally gasping for air until he knew his peak was coming. He put his hand on David's head and tried to push it backward. But even if Luke used both hands and both feet, nothing could have pried David from receiving Luke's orgasm. He wanted it! He had to have it! He wanted to know everything there was to learn about the joy of gay sex! Then, caution set aside, Luke released the flow of fluid and David felt the warm liquid going down his throat and farther. He didn't stop until Luke had no more to give. David felt no shame or guilt as he exhaustedly returned to put his head on the pillow next to Luke, who was still panting for breath. "Are you all right?" David whispered. "No! I'll never be the same..." Luke gasped. "Neither will I," David replied, to Luke as well as to himself. "God damn! David! Don't try to convince me that was your first time!" "OK, I won't...but it was..." "But where did you learn to..." "I told you I did a lot of research at the college library." "Dear God! You've got to give me a list of those books! You were incredible." "I'm just glad that I pleased you." " 'Pleased' is the understatement of the century! But how do you feel?" "Happy..." "No regrets?" "Not the least one." "I'm the one who feels guilty..." "Why?" "Because you didn't get off first," Luke replied. "We still have the rest of the night..." "Thank God. After that, I think I owe you twice as much as you gave me." "Let's just take it one step at a time. This might be my only chance and I want to make it last as long as I can." "Are you...are you brave enough to try intercourse?" "I'm not sure. I mean, I'm..." "Oh, I don't mean me doing you, I want you to do me! Did you read anything in your books on that subject?" "A little..." "Oh, Lord, I might have just allowed myself to be murdered." * * * As the light from the morning sun began to creep into the guest bedroom at 5:30 AM., David wondered about it all. During the past four hours, he had apparently graduated with a degree in gay sex. Once all inhibitions had melted away between them, Luke had patiently taught as much as he knew about the various possibilities of gay lovemaking. They were now both pleasantly sated with physical exhaustion as David had his arm propped up with Luke's head resting upon it. The night was over. It was a new day. Luke wanted what had happened to never end. All the sleepless nights he had indulged himself in masturbatory fantasies about David had become a reality...but the harshest part of the realism was that, in a few days, they both would be returning to Virginia and David would once again belong to Jenny and there was no place in the wedding picture for a third person...himself. David, on the other hand, realized that he hadn't given another thought to Jenny until now. Was he gay now? Had he taken over for Mark in Luke's life? Was it possible for him to love another man?...Not just 'another man', but Luke? Had his feelings gone further than just pleasureable gay physical sex? Granted, the sex and the night with Luke had been wonderful, but would Luke be enough for him in a relationship or in later years? Of course there was no guarantee that his and Jenny's marriage would last because statistically over fifty-percent of all marriages end in divorce.---if that marriage even took place. Holy shit! What would his parents say, especially his dad, once they learned that they had two gay sons? Would his dad disown him and cut off his inheritance? Would he ever be able to lift his head and face the people of River Oaks again? Looking at things in another way, was it possible for him or anyone to fall in love after just one night of bliss? David nudged Luke's head with his upper arm and said, "Are you ready to get some sleep?" "Uh huh.I think we both need it." "So do I..." "David?" "Yes?" "After tonight...?" "Yes, what about it?" "Is...is this the end?" "That's what I've been thinking about..." "Have you come to any kind of decision?" "Yes...and no..." "Meaning...?" "I've been thinking how happy Mark would've been if you two could've found a way to stay together." "I've wondered about that for years." "Then I also asked myself if we...you and I...could be happy the same way. I mean, up until this week, I wasn't aware of my being gay in any way." "David, it's not just being 'gay'. It's about how two people feel about each other, no matter what the gender. It's a matter of being in love and wanting to be with that person-- the one person who makes you happy...the person with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life. Are you consciously aware of being hetero when you're with Jenny? Or do you just accept her as a person, not a female person?" "Not consciously, no." "I've always been gay, but I don't categorize myself as gay. I'm a person who likes or maybe dislikes another person regardless whether he or she is male or female. It's a matter of who I want to be with...who I want to love." "Knowing me as you did up until yesterday, Luke, did it ever occur to you that you could love me even though I was straight?" "David, I loved Mark all the years we were together and after he left, all my love for Mark transferred itself to you in my dreams. Yes, I loved you yesterday and I love you more now, after the night we just spent together." "And not just because we had sex?" "As I said...I loved you always, believing that we would never have sex. When I saw you yesterday and you reminded me so much of Mark, I kept asking myself was I attracted to you or was it just a substitute for him? Then the longer we were together, I realized that Mark was gone forever and it wasn't his memory that drew me to you, it was you yourself...David." "You do know that if we...we become companions, we're going to be in for a hard row to hoe. I still have grad school ahead and if my dad found out about you and me, he'd treat me as he did Mark. I'd have to get a job or two to pay my tuition and support myself. Then there's Jenny. I don't know how the fuck to explain any of this to her. The people in River Oaks, my fraternity brothers, my friends and classmates are bound to turn against me. I'd practically be losing my whole world." "But you'd be getting a whole new world. I'm sure Jenny loves you and I guess you love her, but I feel I can love you as much or more than she does and I'm ready to spend the rest of my life making you happy." "But where would we live? Certainly not in River Oaks. What about my degree? What would we do for money?" "David, I can't believe you'd want to stay in River Oaks after your graduation, with or without Jenny. There are millions of places we could live...here in Atlanta, New York, San Francisco, hell, even Paris! Your undergraduate degree will give you entrance to any university you choose...and as for money...that's the least of our problems, thanks to Aunt Delia." "Jesus, how much did she leave you?" "You know what a seven digit bank account is?" "Sure, I'm no dummy?" "Well, multiply the seven-digits several times over!" "You're that rich?" "Richer! Even if you didn't finish college and never took a job, we have enough to travel around the world for the rest of our lives." "Luke, I had no idea..." "That's why I felt so bad about Mark. I could have had the best doctors in the universe doing all that they could to make him well again. Then, that day in the supermarket when Jenny told me where he had moved, it was too late already. Mark had already died and I suddenly wanted to knock aisles of groceries to the floor out of anger." "I know. I was angry at him too. God knows I couldn't have paid for the doctors and hospitals as I guess you could've, but I could have been with him to encourage him to get treatment. Fuck! You overcame the illness! Mark could have too!" "So, David...what about us? You and me?" |