---

"Some... but not all that much." Thad said. "Jersey is much like New York - so fucking crowded with people that they have nowhere to go but up, and it seems as if everyone is climbing as fast as they can. I wanted to be a detective where things were more spread out. I even thought about Montana or Utah. Of course, we know there's no crime in Utah, not with all those fuckin' Mormons. They don't break the law... they use it to excuse their own actions, and to hinder anyone else from doing wrong things."

"You're Catholic, if I can ask?"

"Since birth... but I'm not a very good one now. I mean, I still go to Father Chris' Mass, although he only assists Father Tom, the head priest."

"Was Alex Catholic?"

"Yeah. Father Chris baptized him about a year ago... hoping that religion would influence him against drugs, and God knows what else!"

"If his brother in Chattanooga agrees, are you... will Alex have a Catholic funeral? I know you haven't had time to give that any thought."

"More than likely. Have you decided what you're gonna do for Mark yet?"

"Thad, it's the toughest decision I've ever had to make. I'm leaning toward having him cremated."

"Would your folks approve?"

"Probably not, but hell, they don't even know Mark's dead. I don't think Dad would care, even if he found out."

"Y'know, Mark didn't hate your dad, in case you're wondering. He had all the reason in the world to hold a grudge, but even so, he didn't. He actually wanted to make up with him... especially, after he found out he was sick."

"God! I wish I had known he was sick."

"Medically speaking, there was really nothing you could have done. All that could have been done was done."

"But I could have been here to love him and care for him. That's what makes me feel so guilty and empty."

"David, I... I even asked Mark if I could call you, and he refused. He said you had your own life to live with your girl. He said, neither you nor he had ever had much happiness at home, and if you'd found peace with your Jenny, to leave you alone, and not fuck up your life with his problem."

Thad's words struck deeply into David's mind, and for the first and only time all day, David felt the need to cry. He hadn't shed any tears, even when he first saw Mark's frail body at the morgue, but hearing that Mark didn't want to upset David's life, created a huge sadness in David. He placed the Coke can on the side table, covered his eyes, and wept.

Thad was moved by David's grief, and felt the need to comfort him… but hesitated for fear David would think it was a physical, gay advance. Finally, Thad threw all caution to the wind, scooted closer to Mark on the sofa, stretched his arm around David's shoulder, and drew David into his chest. David's crying became more audible; so, with his free hand, Thad placed it at the back of David's head and stroked his hair gently.

"Let it go, buddy!" Thad whispered. "Let it all out! It's good to cry - you need to cry."

Thad's words only made David sob more strongly with deep wails that shook Thad's chest. David put both hands around Thad, grasping Thad's shirt tightly in his fists. Thad held David tighter, as he too, felt the need to cry for his loss of Alex, but he forced himself to restrain the need for his own personal relief. However, his denial of an emotional outlet delivered Thad into the hands of his need for sexual love, while his professional training led him to examine his true feelings for the man in his arms. He already cared for, and respected this man far too much to offend him.

"Hey, hey, we're letting our emotions get the best of us. I mean, you're you, and I'm... aww skip it!" Thad said in self-deprecation, pushing David away gently. "We'd better not do this."

Easing himself away from Thad, David replied, "You're right... I guess this was just a night for hugging. I... hugged Steve at his place, then I saw Chris hug you at the hospital. I... I guess I felt it was my turn."

"I just didn't want you to get the wrong idea, David... that's all."

"I didn't. I wouldn't have done it, if I'd had any reservations. I'll admit I'm not used to holding a man in my arms. Thinking back, I can't remember ever giving Mark a hug... and God, now I'm sorry. Our dad never gave either of us any display of emotion, other than the back of a hairbrush when we were small kids... later the hairbrush was replaced by his three-inch-wide belt."

"I've never given a second thought about hugging any man, straight or gay. I used to watch the old gladiator movies, and all the muscle-types embraced each other before a battle."

"When I was doing my private research at the university library, I read quite a bit about Alexander the Great."

"Ah, that rascal had a whole slew of boyfriends."

"So I learned."

"David, I know it's getting late, and you must be about to drop in your tracks; so, why don't I take you back to Steve's so you can get some rest? Father Chris will be by to see you in the morning, and I know you have a lot to do about Mark's arrangements and all."

"What about you? Are you going to call off work tomorrow?"

"At the moment, I'm thinking probably 'yes.'"

"Thad, rather than putting you to the trouble of driving me across Atlanta to Steve's - would it be too much of an imposition if I just slept here on your couch?"

"Jesus, you're a braver man than I am. I can hardly sit on this fucking thing without getting stabbed in the butt with a loose coil. Frankly, I don't think you'd get much rest on this couch."

"Perhaps, you're right."

Thad hesitated, but finally blurted out, "I do have a brand new queen-size mattress on my bed. That's the one luxury I afford myself... a good bed to get lots of rest on when I come home from work."

"You'd be willing to share it with me?"

"Hell, yes, if you're not afraid of sleeping with a queer detective. I... I know you're straight; and believe me, I'd never make a move on you. I'd even put my gun on the side table, so if you thought I was getting fresh you could shoot me."

David laughed. "I don't think that will be necessary. Strangely enough, I... I trust you."

"You have nothing to worry about... and no one is ever gonna know that we slept in the same bed."

"I'm not worried about people knowing... I'll probably never see Chris or Steve again after I go home. There's no one I have to answer to except myself... well, maybe Jenny… and she sure as heck won't know I spent the night here."

"OK, buddy, if you're game..."

"I am, Thad, I am."

"Listen, would you like to shower first?"

"Hey! Is that a hint?" David joked.

"No, no! It's just that..."

"I thought maybe you'd gotten a whiff of my BO, and didn't want to sleep with it."

"Shit, I probably smell worse than you... not that you do smell!"

"Then yes, I would like to shower."

"I'll get you a towel. My razor is in the shower with some shave cream, some shampoo, and conditioner, if you like."

"I like."

"The bathroom is in there... go turn on the hot tap, get undressed, and I'll throw you a towel."

"Thanks!"

Thad quickly added laughingly, "And I promise not to look!"

David laughed, "I don't care if you look or not. It's not like I'm trying to hide my breasts, or my vagina. We're both men, so it won't bother me, if it doesn't bother you."

"I don't know... it just might." Thad said, looking sternly, before breaking into a huge grin. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding… and I hope you know that!"

"I do."

"Now, go on..."

David headed for the bathroom. After groping in the near-darkness, he realized that there was no light switch on the bathroom wall... and no fluorescent fixtures beside the wooden medicine cabinet. There was only a black electrical cord hanging from the ceiling with a socket, and a naked 100 watt bulb with an old-fashioned on-off switch on the side of the metallic socket. Flipping the glaring light on, David was happy to see that at least, there was a showerhead above the bathtub - a new Waterpik massage with adjustable water controls. David grinned, realizing that apparently a good mattress wasn't Thad's only household luxury. David took time to use the toilet, put down the lid, took off his clothes, placed them on the toilet, and stepped into the now-steaming hot spray. God, how good it felt! He turned the showerhead to maximum massage and let the water pound on the back of his neck and shoulders. This was the first time today that he felt relaxed. He closed his eyes and tried to blank out everything that had happened to him since his phone call that morning.

The shower was wonderful. He would have liked to stay under the pounding spray for at least an hour, but he didn't know what size water heater Thad owned; so, in case Thad wanted to shower after he was finished, David decided he'd better cut the shower short. He quickly soaped his entire body, used the regular soap to lather his face and shave, then shampooed his hair afterward. David had never used a conditioner, so he skipped that treatment. Finally finished, he turned off the water, pulled back the shower curtain, and stepped out of the tub onto the bare floor, since there was no bath mat in sight.

All at once, the door opened and Thad entered carrying a fresh white towel. "Sorry the towel is late, but I had a phone call, and I..."

"That's OK. The shower was great."

David, standing stark naked in front of the gay detective, didn't bother to cover his private parts with his hands. He stood there with no apprehension, needing to hide nothing from Thad.

Whether one is gay or straight, when one sees a naked person in front of him, it's only natural to give the whole body the once-over, and Thad did just that. He looked at David from head-to-toe, his eyes stopping at the mid-section and genitals… which again, was the natural thing to do. Thad couldn't believe what he saw. David's face was a slightly older version of Mark's face, but David's body was nothing like Mark's frail torso. David hadn't mentioned playing sports, or working out at a gym, but his body was breathtaking to Thad. David possessed a set of firm pecs with wash-board abs, the muscles not as pronounced as a bodybuilder's, but still very well defined, and he had a beautiful treasure trail leading downward to a heavy bushed dark pubic region above a very impressive penis and balls. Mark was built nothing like David, even before he became ill. David could see that Thad's face was suddenly flushed when he stared at him.

"Am I embarrassing you?" David asked.

Thad was flustered when he replied, "No... it's just... well, yes, I... no, hell no! I just didn't expect you to look... you know… the way you do... without clothes."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Hell, yes... you're... you could be a great gift to a lot of gay fantasies. Shit! Why did I say that?"

David laughed as he took the towel and began drying his hair. "I guess I'm flattered. No man has ever said that to me before."

"I can imagine... but your girl, Jenny... she must get a charge from seeing you naked?"

"Actually, she's never said anything about it."

"She has seen you... I mean, you two do have..."

"Lots of times, but we just do things without any narrative or comments."

"Maybe it's time someone told you how... how masculine, for want of a better word, you look."

"You didn't expect to find a vagina between my legs, did you?" David asked jokingly.

"Shit! I've already said too much," Thad replied awkwardly. "Turn around, and I'll dry your back."

"You sure I'll be safe?"

"Don't worry! I said your 'back', not your butt!"

David turned around obligingly, as Thad took the towel and began pushing the loose droplets of water from the back of David's hairline onto his shoulders, down the back of his arms to his hands, then returning to David's back to softly rub the water from his neck to the back of his waist.

"I learned in the Marines to always dry from the top to the bottom," Thad added. "It saves a lot of time and energy, and keeps your towel drier."

"I'd never thought about that, but it makes sense," David chuckled.

"Now I'll stop, and you can dry from your waist on down."

"Would you mind doing it?"

David couldn't see Thad's face, but Thad looked puzzled, as if to say, 'Is this guy pulling my leg or trying to get me excited?' Then verbally, Thad said, "I... I don't mind, if it doesn't bother you."

"I told you I trust you, Thad."

After a moment, Thad said, "Thanks," and continued pushing the water drops over David's butt cheeks, down to his thighs, calves, and ankles. David cooperated by raising one foot for Thad to complete his task, and finally, the other foot. "The front is all yours."

If David could have seen the bulge he'd caused to rise in Thad's pants, Thad would have run out the door like a kid, who'd just stolen a handful of video games from Blockbuster. To hide his embarrassing dilemma, Thad turned his back to David and faced the lavatory, where he quickly grabbed his toothbrush and began to scrub his teeth without toothpaste.

None of Thad's 'back-drying' ministrations had affected David sexually in the slightest. His penis was still as flaccid as when he'd stepped out of the bathtub. He turned around to face Thad's back and asked, "Now I dry

my front the same way? Pushing ALL the water from top, to bottom, to my feet?"

"That's the way the Marines do it."

David began the downward strokes with the towel from his shoulders to his chest, his pelvis, his crotch, the front of his thighs, and he bent forward to reach his lower legs and feet. Thad was using his last ounce of willpower, trying not to get one more peek at his naked guest while looking into the dingy medicine cabinet mirror.

"There! Ready for inspection, Sir!" David said, dropping the towel and giving Thad a salute with his right hand to his right eyebrow, while standing at attention.

Thad didn't want to turn and look, fearful that David might recognize Thad's real desire, but since David had made such a point of it, Thad decided to play along with the 'game' he'd started. He put down his toothbrush and turned to face his nude visitor. Thad walked closer to David and grabbed David's right ear as if to inspect its backside.

"That one looks pretty clean," Thad said, assuming the voice of a Marine drill sergeant. "Now let me see the other one." Thad repeated his action with David's left ear. "Pretty good, Marine. Raise your chin and let me have a look at your neck." David obeyed. "Not bad... no signs of ring around the collar! You pass inspection!" Thad said, turning to walk away.

"Hey, Sarge!" David cried out, "What about the rest of me?"

Fearing his little game could get out of hand, but mostly because he had sprung another boner; Thad refused to turn around and replied, "From what I saw, you did a splendid job from your neck down."

"Thank you, Sir!" David exclaimed.

"Now, if you'll just wait here, I'll go to my bureau and get you some fresh underwear. I think we're about the same size."

"That would be great, Thad."

"I... I don't want you sleeping bare assed next to me."

"Yeah, I guess that might not be a very good idea..." David said.

Thad walked out of the bathroom, and returned in a couple of minutes with a clean t-shirt and a pair of khaki colored boxer shorts. "Here! These should do the trick."

"Thanks, Thad, they'll be just fine."

Thad turned again to walk out of the room while David donned the underwear. David stopped him by asking, "Aren't you going to shower, too?"

"I hadn't planned on it," Thad replied, "I usually shower the first thing when I get up in the mornings."

"OK."

Thad then stopped, stuck his head back into the doorway and asked, almost timidly, "Do you think I should shower?"

"No, no!"

"I mean, if you think I stink... as your host, I certainly wouldn't want my BO to keep you awake."

"Thad, I'm sorry I asked if you were going to shower. I feel as if I'm imposing on you already."

"Ah, hell!" Thad exclaimed. "A quick rinse won't hurt."

"I just hope I didn't use up all the hot water."

"I shower with cold water... never turn on the hot. It exhilarates me first thing in the morning. Makes my vim and vigor rise."

"But you're not trying to wake up, you're showering before you go to sleep. Won't that keep you awake?"

"Nah, nothing keeps me awake."

As he finished putting on the shirt and shorts, which Thad had given him, David picked up the clothes he'd left on the toilet lid. "I'll head for the bedroom and let you have your privacy."

Thad wasn't used to being put on the defensive, especially by another guy, but with the raging hard on in his pants, and knowing that his soon-to-be bed partner was straight, it was a relief to shut the bathroom door to hide his embarrassing secret. He also knew that he would have to jack off at least twice, before going to bed to avoid any potential problem.

As Thad stripped quickly and got into the cold shower, David walked around Thad's apartment, not being nosey, but just trying to get better acquainted with his host. Seeing a gold framed picture beside his bed. David assumed the two people in the photo were Thad's parents. Beside the picture was a jar of Vaseline and three torn empty condom wrappers. On the floor, beside the right hand side of the bed was a stack of male magazines. David sat on the side of the bed and began to thumb through a copy of 'Blue Boy.' It was filled with pictures of young men... about Mark's age... all naked, and some in various sexual activities... oral and anal. This was a first for David, never having seen anything other than naked women in magazines, occasionally with a male model fucking her. It came to him as a surprise to see that men or boys actually did it the same way as straight couples. It had certainly never occurred to David to insert anything up his rectum. Even the thought of it seemed painful to him... and by the expression on some of the boys, it appeared to be just as painful to them. 'God! How can they take it?' David wondered as he turned to the next page - and the next.

Thad, in the meantime, had already reached his first climax in the shower. He paused to shampoo his hair before beginning his second attempt. David would never know, but Thad fantasized about what he'd seen when David was standing naked before him. Had David been gay, or even gay-curious, Thad, under normal circumstances, would have dropped to his knees and swallowed the big rod dangling between David's thighs. Mark's cock couldn't compare with his older brother's in length or girth. The first few times the subject was broached, Mark had refused Thad's advances; and Thad had returned home to fantasize about the young man all night long... and now, less than fifteen feet away from him, was Mark's brother, a brother who was bigger... wider... and who was about to sleep in his bed beside him. Thad suddenly decided that two jerk-offs would not be enough, the matter at hand would take at least three, maybe four, before he could go to bed beside the handsome hetero.

Assuming that Thad must sleep on the same side of the bed as the magazines on the floor. David went to the opposite side, and began the household chore of straightening the sheets, the blanket, and the bedspread. Next, he fluffed up both pillows and crawled into bed. Thad was right---this bed was heavenly. It had the tufted pad on top of the mattress, and as David's body indented the foam, it felt as if he was lying on a cloud. Thad must be shaving, David thought. He's taking an unusually long time in the shower! If only David had known why...

Another ten minutes passed as David lay in the bed waiting for Thad to come out of the bathroom. Finally, he came into the bedroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to the chest of drawers and got out a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, matching David's sleeping attire, and put them on with his back turned to David. Not that David was really interested… perhaps a bit curious… but David saw none of Thad's male equipment the way David had innocently displayed his in front of Thad after his shower.

"Did the shower relax you?" David inquired.

"Pretty much."

"The water was cold?"

"Just a few degrees above ice water... just the way I like it."

"Brrr," David said, "Makes me shiver to think about it."

"How do you like the mattress?"

"It's fantastic!" David exclaimed. "I've never felt so comfortable."

"Glad you like it! It's my prize possession. I appreciate it even more after a hard night of playing cops and robbers on the Atlanta streets."

"If this mattress were mine, I'd have trouble getting out of bed every morning. I'd hate to leave it."

"I feel pretty much the same way about it. When I leave for work, I never know what's gonna happen. Is someone gonna take a shot at me? Am I gonna have to shoot someone...?"

"From recent happenings, it's almost as dangerous to teach in high schools."

"Fuckin' gun laws! I wish to hell every asshole in Washington that voted against the Brady bill had to wear a bulletproof vest to go to work, and get some idea how dangerous it is for the rest of us. Assault weapons legal? I just don't get it!"

"I don't either."

"Hey, you about ready to go to sleep? If you are, I'll switch off the light and join you in bed."

"Sure."

The bedroom did have a wall switch. Thad clicked it, and the room was suddenly pitch black, the darkness almost palpable to Thad. David hadn't noticed there being no window in the bedroom. He heard Thad make six or seven steps in the dark before his weight settled on that side of the bed.

"Oh, by the way, I forgot to ask... do you want my gun on your nightstand?"

"Do you think I'll need it?" David joked, laughing.

"I've never attacked anyone in my sleep before... but there's always a first time for everything. I guess."

"I... I'll take my chances. If you do attack me… that'll be a first time for both of us."

Thad shifted his weight in bed getting comfortable. The mattress was wide enough, so that nearly two feet of space separated him from David.

"God, this feels good," Thad sighed.

"Thanks for letting me stay..." David replied.

"I figured you'd be a hell of a lot more comfortable here than at Steve's."

David didn't respond. He remained silent. Thad reached for the sheet, blanket, and bed spread, pulled them close to his neck, and turned his back away from David.

"Well, good night." Thad said.

"Night, Thad... and thanks again."

"Don't mention it!"

David rolled over to face the opposite wall to go to sleep. His day had been long and tiring. Strangely, he felt completely safe being in bed with Thad, his first gay bed-partner. The two of them slept soundly until around 3:00 AM when Thad suddenly awoke to discover David had moved to his side of the bed and had put his arm over Thad's waist; and in his sleep, David was trying to merge his body with the back of Thad's spooning him. Now Thad was wide awake. What should he do? Wake David and risk embarrassing him... or was David really asleep, Thad wondered. Either way, the situation caused Thad to get an early case of morning wood. I should have jacked off ONE more time! Thad thought. Now, how was he going to go back to sleep???