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Jim closed the door behind him and for the first time in his life, fell to his knees, sobbing. His encounter with Frank had left him totally undone. The man whom he loved more than his own father had totally rejected him. Frank told him to think of the last time he had seen Matt the summer of their senior year. He poured himself a few fingers of Jack and threw it back and sank into his favorite chair and closed his eyes and let his mind drift back all those years... "Hey Jimmy," Matt hollered as he ran across the parking lot. Jim was standing with his new girlfriend, Linda, and her twin brother who was the star quarterback, and a few other guys from the football team. He and Matt had just finished baseball practice and were going to pick out tuxes for the prom. Linda had talked Jim into going with her and her brother Joe, but Jim had forgotten to tell Matt of the change in plans. Jim had been dating Linda for about a month. He was stoked to have gotten a date with such a hot chick and thrilled with the attention he was getting from her brother, the star quarterback and BMOC (Big Man on Campus), someone who had never really said more than two words to him. Matt came to a stop in front of his longtime best friend, "Ready, Jim? Dad is going to be here any minute to take us to the tux place," Matt said, panting from his run across the parking lot. "He doesn't need a ride," Joe said with a sneer, "he's going with us, MAAATTY. Jimbo, here, has a real girlfriend now, and he don't need you anymore," Joe said with a snide smile. Everybody laughed at Joe's lame attempt at humor-even Jim. Matt looked at Jim. He didn't understand-he couldn't believe it. The second most important person in the world to him was laughing at him, laughing as someone else was making fun of him. He had to hold it together-he turned beet red, but instead of causing a scene, he just turned and walked away. He was halfway toward the spot where his father was to pick him up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He stopped and spun around and was staring right in Jim's face, looking in his eyes, the eyes he knew so well and that had witnessed so many of the same sights as his for so many years. For the first time he didn't recognize them. "Matty, what the fuck did you take off for? What's the matter with you?" Jim all but shouted at him. "The matter with me?" Matt asked incredulously. "What's the matter with you? We've been best friends since forever; and now you have a girlfriend-that's fine-but you join that fucked up prick in mocking me and laughing at me." Matt was freaking out. He was getting more upset because tears were running down his face. "Why are you acting like such a fag, Matt? They were just busting on you." "Fine; if that's what you think I am, go back to your new friends since you don't want to be seen with a faggot like me," Matt said as he turned his back to Jim and walked to his father's waiting car. The ringing of Jim's phone brought him back. He looked at the caller ID and saw Linda's name. He ignored it reasoning he'd deal with her later. He needed to think that dim memory through and remember things as they happened, things he hadn't thought of in years. He recalled that at the time, he kind of understood when Matt decided not to double date for the prom after the scene in the parking lot. But when Matt refused to speak to him at school he got pissed, so he let it be and went on with his life. Matt didn't come to any of the graduation parties but he figured that he would eventually get over it and come around. He went over to the house every day for a couple weeks but Uncle Frank always said that Matt wasn't at home, so he eventually stopped going. Then when it was getting close to the time that they always went to the shore and he still hadn't heard from him, he got pissed. 'Fuck him,' Jim thought; 'if he wants to act like that, I can ignore him just the same.' Then before he knew it, he was in the Corps, married, with a kid, and twenty-two years had passed. Why had he been so stupid? He knew how Matt felt about that word and that Uncle Frank felt the same way. They both told him the story of the Greatest Commandment, and then the reality of what he had done hit him like a freight train. "Oh, fuck, Matty, what have I done to you, and to your dad? What have I done?" he said to the empty room and began to sob again and he sobbed until he fell asleep. The ringing of the phone woke him up again. This time he answered. "Hello." "Jim, where have you been?" a shrill voice asked from the other end of the line. "I've been here, just not feeling well, and fell asleep," Jim said. "Sorry! But how are you? Are you coming home soon?" "No, I'm in the hospital, Jim. I went into labor yesterday. There were complications and the baby didn't make it…something about his lungs," Linda said in a very cold, almost detached, recited voice. "Oh, Linda, I'm so sorry. I'll be up right away. I can leave Matty and Ian with Matt and I can be there in eight hours," Jim said, frantically trying to think straight. "No, there's no need for that. There will be no funeral and I don't want to make a fuss," Linda said. "Linda, what are you talking about? How can you make these decisions without talking to me?" Jim demanded. "Don't argue with me, Jim, it's done! Joe will be bringing me home on Monday, but I want you to know now I'm only coming to get my things and my son. I'm done, Jimmy. I'm sick of the Marines. I'm sick of moving. I'm sick of being ignored by you," Linda said. Jim was blown away. Where the fuck did this come from? "Linda, look, it's been a bad couple of days for both of us and I feel like shit. Can we please discuss this when you get home?" "There's nothing to discuss. I'll be back on Sunday, and Matty and I will be leaving on Tuesday," Linda said as cool as could be. "Fine! You can leave if you want but I'm telling you, and you need to pay real close attention, you WILL NOT TAKE MY SON!" Jim shouted into the phone but then he forced himself to breathe and calm himself. "Look, I'm sorry for shouting. We can work this out but I don't want to put Matty in the middle of this," Jim said calmly. "I'm sorry, Jimmy, I can't stay with you and I'm not leaving my son." "Linda, let's just please wait till you get home and talk this through," Jim pleaded. "I'll see you on Monday at dinner time. Goodbye," Linda said and hung up. "FUCK!" Jim shouted, "This day just keeps getting worse," he said to the empty room, and then went into the bathroom and washed his face . 'Well, time to face the music,' he thought, and headed across to see Matt and Frank. He rang the doorbell and waited for his fate. Matt opened the door and was accompanied by the chorus of the dogs barking and two boys chasing around the house. "Hey, Jim, I thought I told you to just walk in," Matt said, opening the door. The first thing he noticed was that Jim didn't look well. He seemed a bit out of sorts, so he decided to be upbeat. "Well anyway, say hello to Duffy- he's the black one and Danny Boy, he's the wheaten," Matt said pointing at the puppies running around their feet, "and of course you know Ian," he said with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Well, well, couldn't do with just one I see." "So sue me, I'm a big softy. They were two brothers left from a litter and Jimmy didn't want to separate them," Matt said looking at Jim who just burst into tears. Matt just grabbed him and hugged him, "What's wrong Jimmy, is everything okay?" he asked with concern. "No it's not. Listen, can we send the boys and the circus outside for a bit? I'd like to talk to you and your dad alone." Just then Matty entered the foyer and looked at his father with a shocked and concerned look on his young face. He had never seen his big strong Marine dad cry and it kind of rocked his world a bit. "Sure I'll send them out. Would you like something to drink?" "Yeah, a little Jack if you have it." "Affirmative! Go have a seat in the living room and I'll get Dad. Okay, boys, how about taking the puppies out back for a while? We have some things to talk to Papa about," Matt said. Matt herded the boys and the dogs outside and then got Jim his drink. He also asked his father to join them in the living room. Jim stood as the two entered the room and wiped his wet eyes. Matt handed him the drink and he took a long pull. He asked the two to sit, took a deep breath, and started. "Matthew, Frank," he said nodding to the both of them, "I'm here to ask your forgiveness." Then turning his attention to Frank, "I did what you told me to do sir. I went home and thought about the last time that Matt and I were together. I can't believe what a fucking ass I was. I had forgotten all about the incident in the parking lot," Jim said sadly, he stopped to take another sip of his drink and wipe his wet eyes. "Matty, when we met the other day, I honestly didn't know what was wrong with you, why you were being so cold and distant then your dad ordered me to go home and think about it. I just can't believe how much I hurt you. In all these years I had never thought of that day again. It was if I had just willed myself to forget it. I buried it so deep. Then when I took myself back, it began to play like a video in my head." Jim had to stop and compose himself, the pain of the memory was clear on his face. "Matty, I could see your face again. I could see how much what I did hurt you. And as I recalled the event my heart broke. I don't know how I could have ever done something like that and I don't know how I'll ever make it up to you," Jim said just barely holding it together. Then he added, "So now all three of us have missed out on twenty years because of my stupidity, and because I didn't follow the commandment you taught us," he said looking directly at Frank and starting to cry again. Both Frank and Matt rushed to him and embraced him. Jim continued, "Matt, I'm so fucking sorry I ever talked to you that way, but the worst part is, I let you go, I didn't fight for our friendship. Now look what's happened. I wasted all these years married to a selfish bitch who just called me to tell me our baby has died and now she wants to divorce me and take my son," he said as he continued to sob. Matt went to get him another drink and Frank wrapped him in his arms. "Jimmy, I'm so sorry for your loss, but don't worry about Matty, son. Uncle Frank won't let that happen," and hearing those words made Jim's knees buckle. Frank backed him to the sofa and sat down with him. "You've done well, son, just like I knew you would. Now everything can start getting back to the way it should be," Frank said quietly into Jim's ear. "Just give it some time and everything with Matt will be fine." Matt came back into the room, this time with three drinks, and sat on the other side of Jim, placing the drinks down on the coffee table. He looked at Jim who had pulled up his shirt to wipe his face exposing his tight washboard stomach, and much to his dismay, Matt felt the old twitch in his groin. He looked directly into Jim's eyes and took one of his hands in his. "Jim, thank you for what you've said, and I do accept your apology, but I think I need to apologize as well. I was angry and hurt back then and I was just as wrong as you by ignoring you and not letting you apologize to me," Matt said with glassy eyes. "No Matt, it was..." "Let me finish," Matt interrupted. "Listen, the commandment is 'Love your neighbor as you would Love yourself'. Don't you see, I was just as wrong as you for shutting you out? It just came to me when I was getting the drinks. We were dumb kids and both made wrong choices, and now we have been punished. The punishment was that we missed being friends all of these years for those choices. So I need for you to forgive me for my mistake and accept my apology, too." Matt finished, still looking in Jim's eyes. For the first time since their reunion, he saw his old friend's eyes without pain. Jim pulled him into a tight hug. "Of course I do, Matty, just like you did mine if you promise to kick my ass the next time I act like one," Jim said as he sniffed and laughed at the same time holding Matt so tightly the poor guy was having trouble breathing. "If you don't ease up and let me breathe, the ass kicking is gonna start now," Matt said breathlessly but with a smile. Jim released him and they all laughed. Frank picked up a glass of Jack and held it, and the guys did the same. "Here's to a day I have prayed for many years; to see my two boys back together and happy," he said with tears in his eyes, "and here's to the best thing in the world-good friends." 'Salute,' they all said and knocked back their drinks. Everybody started talking at once until Matt raised his voice and asked for quiet. "All right, how about we go and see the boys? I think they were kind of worried earlier and then later, Dad, would you mind taking them to dinner, and let them have a sleepover here tonight? I think Jimmy and I have some things to discuss." "Sure, boys; that's a great idea, but how about a swim first?" Frank asked. The three men found the boys out in the back yard playing with the dogs. When Matty saw his dad he ran over and hugged him. "Dad is everything all right?" he asked with a voice full of concern. "Sure, sport! Sometimes even Marine Daddies have a bad day," he said with a laugh as Matt and Frank joined in. "So how about it men?" he asked, stripping off his clothes, "who's ready for a swim?" The boys whooped and hollered as they stripped off the little bit of clothing they had on, followed by Frank and Matt. Jim led the charge with a cannon ball followed by everybody else. The three men and two boys swam, dove and roughhoused for a good hour before Matt got Jim in the corner of the shallow end for a quiet talk and then called for everybody's attention and climbed out of the pool. "Okay guys, how would you like to go out for dinner with Papa and have a sleep-over tonight?" Matt asked. Well, that went just as they had expected - the boy's whooped out again, bumped fists, then ran and hugged their dads to thank them. Then on cue, Matt and Jim turned their boys around to face each other. Then Matt took a knee behind his son so they were head-to-head. "Jimmy, remember the other night when we were talking about how Gunner and I used to be close friends but we weren't anymore? Remember, I told you that sometimes things happen, people hurt other people's feelings, and their friendship ends? Well, today after much too much time, Gunner and I had a long talk about what happened. We apologized and forgave each other. We learned a valuable lesson that you and Matty need to learn. You boys are getting to be good friends, and there will be times when you might do something that your friend doesn't like. When that happens, you need to talk about it and work it out." Matt looked over at Jim and then his father and smiled. This was the hard part for Matt to get through, without breaking up. The day had been an emotional one for him and Jim alike. During their quick talk in the pool they admitted to each other that they had named their boys for each other. So Matt took his son by the shoulders and, with a break in his voice, said, "Now I want you to go over and give your Uncle Jim a hug." Then he heard Jim say, "Same for us sport: go give your Uncle Matt a hug, too." When Matty put his arms around Matt and hugged him tight and said, "Thanks, Uncle Matt, I'm so glad we moved here!" Matt's heart swelled as he experienced his second cathartic moment of the day. This sweet boy was like a healing salve for his heart. Jim wrapped his huge arms around Jimmy and the boy kissed his cheek. "I'm so glad you moved here and brought Matty! But is it all right if I call you Uncle Gunner instead? 'Cause I think Gunner is such a cool name!" "Sure, buddy; I think that would be way cool, too," Jim answered. As he hugged the boy it was as if he had stepped through a rip in the fabric of the time-space continuum. He held the boy but it wasn't Jimmy. It was Matt, andthey had just won their little league championship game, and they were hugging and jumping up and down; he could smell the grass, the dirt, and Matt's scent. His heart was filled with love for the first time in years-for the first time since he held his son in his arms. "All right, boys. Let's get dressed and feed the dogs, and then…" Frank paused for effect, "…let's go out for dinner and rent a movie for the big pajama party tonight." "Yeah, Dad," Matt said with a laugh; "Jimmy hasn't worn pj's since his onesie's about six years ago." "Yeah, Uncle Frank, and since he's been hanging out here at the nudist camp, he doesn't even want to wear underwear to bed anymore." "Seems they really are their daddies' boys," Frank said with a laugh. The guys dried off and put on their boxers while they got the boys dressed, dogs fed, and everyone out the door. Matt was a bit scattered all of a sudden. His day had been filled with raw emotion since he listened to Jim's apology, so he took a minute to gather his thoughts. "Jim," he said quietly, "the last few days have been quite intense, and I would really like to take some time and talk about it all." "You know, Matt, I have to tell you this for what it's worth. Other than the day my son was born, this is the happiest day I've had in twenty-two years! You know the saddest part of all of it is, I didn't even know how empty my life had been until I saw you again," Jim said with a very serious look on his face. Matt walked over to his friend and pulled him into a hug. "I know, buddy, I know just how you feel, but there's a lot of things we have to talk about." "Yeah we do need to talk about things, but the best part is, we're talking," Jim said as he held his friend. "You're right, and boy do I have a lot of things to say," Matt said, pulling back and giving Jim a light punch on his shoulder.
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