welcome to crvboy - Nate's Wounded Heart

She felt like she was finally happy again. Other than the occasional regrets and memories of the times, she'd spent with Luke and Nate and how their relationship together had ended. But the memories that haunted her with an even more grudging pain were those of the way she and Luke had broken contact with each other. As she walked out of the lecture hall, she felt a bit daring and decided to take Darryl's hand in hers. When she did so, he smiled and looked down at their hands before smiling at her as the blush covered his face.

"Feeling happy for any special reason?" he asked as they were getting out of the building and into the receding winter weather. As February rounded the corner on them, the cold had started to diminish and the snow to become scarce, yet it still snowed and for the southern beauty and his Californian companion it was still cold as shit.

"I could say so, I think it's because of this guy I'm dating," she said smiling up at him as she reached with her other hand and threw her scarf over her neck doing her best job to cover it.

"Do I happen to know this guy by any chance?" he asked and got a smirk in response as she squeezed his hand.

"Ok, so I have something to do, but I wanna see you afterwards," she asked as they got to the intersection between the Social Sciences building and the Mathematics building. Going left a few blocks down you would get to Darryl and Brent's dorm building. Going further to the right you'd get to the library and Becca's building.

"Ok, so you go do your thing, but promise that you'll come look for me as soon as you can, ok?" he asked her.

"Oh I will, don't worry about that," she said as she came closer to him and planted a kiss on his lips. They parted and then she pulled him from the neck of his jacket and kissed him again.

"Oh damn it, get going before I don't let you," he said arching his eyebrows at her.

"Ok, now go and maybe you'll get a nice present when I come looking for you," she said smiling and arching her eyebrows.

"Oh dear god, go already," he said laughing as he started jogging down the path that lead to his dorm.

"Ok Luke, time to share a piece of my mind," she thought as she headed down the path to her building.

He had wrapped in one of his blankets; he had no classes that morning and only had one class in the late afternoon. He had woken up a good while ago and had debated whether to go get breakfast or to just stay in bed. He had opted for the latter as he stayed in bed and stared into the empty space that Nate's side of the room had now turned out to be. He sighed as he looked at his cell phone; he still would take it and re-read the message from Nate. After storing the number in his own phone, he had learned that Nate had the same plan that he, Martin and Becca all used. He wanted to go online and place Nate's number in his family group so they could exchange messages and calls with no charge, but he thought better of it and decided it was best to wait and find out what Nate would decide.

It had been over two weeks, and in just a few days the month of February would come and turn out to be the third month that he had spent alone since pushing Nate away from him. He ran his hands over his arms and felt a tingle as he tried to remember how it felt when Nate would do that to him. Nate would run his fingertips at first and then he'd wrap his hands around Luke's biceps as he'd start kissing him gently on the neck. As the longing inside of him fought to turn into pain and tears, he stopped himself and felt tears well in his eyes. After taking a deep breath, Luke looked at Nate's bed and for a second there, he swore he saw Nate sitting there smiling at him, his brown eyes sparkling as he mouthed the words 'I love you'.

There was a knock on the door. He looked back at Nate's bed and found emptiness. The constant emptiness that had begun to turn into his new roommate after school had started again. Dropping the blanket to the floor, he made his way to the door. "Never mind that I'm only wearing boxers," he thought as he unlocked the door before opening it. What he saw made him flinch. Becca was standing there smiling at him.

"Hey Lukey, long time no see," she said before ramming her hand against his crotch, grabbing a good hold on his dick and balls. She squeezed as he flailed his arms to his sides and grabbed onto the doorknob trying to suppress a cry of pain.

"Please let go!" he managed to yell in a high pitch tone.

"Not until you swear to leave Nate alone," she said as she tightened her grip, causing him to bend over in pain. Luke was supporting himself on his toes as he tried to pry Becca's hand away from his crotch.

"I can't and I won't," he said as he managed to get a hold on her hand.

She squeezed harder before he managed to pull her hand away from his family jewels. He took a hold on both her wrists as she groaned and pushed trying to get her hands free so she could try to attack again. "I'll show you how you can leave him as soon as I get my hand back on your dick, you fucktard," she growled as she pushed him further into the room.

"Stop it!" Luke yelled in between ragged breaths as he felt relieved of the uncanny pain that Becca's grip had caused him.

"Fuck you, after all you've done you want me to think you're not just trying to hurt him again?" she yelled as she pushed him with all her strength.

Luke tightened every muscle in his body he could and planted his feet firmly on the floor. His biceps, pectorals, abs and thighs all looked rock hard as he shattered any hope Becca could have of pushing him down. At five feet and six inches of height, she wasn't exactly big or strong enough to fight against Luke's muscular and bigger frame. "Stop fighting already! I won't give up 'cause I know how big of an idiot I've been and I know how much I truly love him," he said choking up at the last part.

When she heard the breaking tone of his voice, she recoiled and stopped pushing. As she gave up, he let go of her hands. Then a surge of anger swept through her body and she punched him in the chest. He clenched his teeth trying to avoid showing his pain, as she punched him repeatedly. He stood motionless as she kept on punching with lower intensity every time. "You fucking broke his heart... you were my best friend beside him and you... why did you have to be such a damned idiot..." she kept saying as she let a few sobs escape form her.

When he heard her first sob, he tried to wrap his arms around her and failed as she punched him once again hard in the chest. Then she let her arms fall to her sides and he wrapped her in his arms. "I'm sorry honey, I love you, I know how mean I've been to all of you," he said as he felt tears falling down from his eyes.

"I've missed you," she said as she held him tight against herself.

"I know Becks, I've missed you so much too..." he said before choking up. They held each other for a few seconds before Luke spotted some people across the hall had come out from their rooms and were staring at them. "Ok, let's go in before we become the subject of tomorrow's lunch chatter," he said as he pulled her inside.

She looked back and saw the people that were staring at them and then as they knew they were caught, they started to go back into their rooms. "Ok, we have some talking to do," she said as she punched him in the chest again.

"Owwwww, stop that already," Luke said wincing.

"I'll stop in a while. I still have stress to release on you," she said giggling.

"So Dylan had a date and decided not to come?" Martin asked Julian as he sat on his desk chair.

"Yeah, well he's kinda like that," Julian answered.

"A heartbreaker?" Martin asked arching his eyebrows.

"Yup, he never really dates a girl for too long," Julian said shaking his head as he sat on Martin's bed.

"Well he's got the looks to get a lot of attention if you ask me, just like you, but it seems you're a bit more down to earth than he is," Martin said as he smiled at him.

"Yeah, he can catch a lot of attention alright," Julian said as he thought about Tommy's behavior for the last few weeks.

"What do you mean?" Martin asked out of curiosity for Julian's sudden remark.

"Sorry, it's just that... I don't know, lately we've been noticing some stuff," Julian confessed to him hesitating to reveal too much information.

"I don't want to intrude, if you don't want to tell me it's ok, we've only known each other for what? Three weeks?" Martin told him.

"I'm sorry Martin I didn't mean it like that, it's just that it's complicated, I mean we're not even sure of what it is," Julian apologized.

"So you're confused?" Martin asked him.

"Yeah, well I guess you could help, but promise you won't tell anyone about this," Julian asked him.

"Ok, I'll try to give my most honest opinion and advice," Martin told him.

"Me and Nate have been noticing some looks and behaviors from Tommy, and we sort of suspect that he might have some sort of feelings for Dylan," Julian told him.

"When you say feelings you mean more than friend's feelings?" Martin asked him.

"Yeah, that's what we think," Julian confessed and looked at him with inquiring eyes.

If Nate had noticed the looks and all this and had been suspecting it, then that might have been the reason why he had told Luke that he needed time. Nate was thinking of getting back together with Luke. Martin realized Julian was staring at him waiting to hear what he had to say. "What does Nate think about it?" he asked.

"He doesn't know what to do. Every time he asks Tommy about Dylan he makes it sound like they're brothers or something, but he looks at Dylan with that dreamy look," Julian said and shrugged his shoulders.

If Julian was speaking about this to him, it probably meant that Nate hadn't told his cousins or Tommy about the message he had sent Luke. And now thinking about loving a friend he thought back to his high school days and felt both a little happy and sad at the same time. "You know it's kind of hard to like someone like that," Martin told him with a slight smile.

"What do you mean?" Julian asked him.

"I know what it feels like. I liked someone when I was younger and I was afraid of letting that person know, or anyone else know," he looked at Julian and he stayed silent looking at him waiting for him to continue. "It's hard, he probably is afraid of what might happen if he makes a move on Dylan. That is if he does like Dylan. He probably fears either rejection or that things might not work and turn into crap between the two of them," he said and then he started scratching his head.

"So you liked someone close to you before?" Julian asked him.

"Yeah, I kinda know how he might be feeling," Martin answered.

"Did you make a move or let it slip?" Julian asked again.

"I made my move actually," Martin confessed.

"How did it go?" Julian asked once again.

"It worked out well for like forty five minutes and after that it almost went to hell," Martin stated as he looked down and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry man," Julian told him. Then he got up, moved closer to Martin, and put his arms around him. Martin was surprised at first but after a few seconds he thought it was just something that Nate would have done and he smiled to himself.

"Thanks man, it was hard, and I guess Tommy is afraid of what could happen," Martin said.

"Nate was right, you are pretty cool man," Julian said smiling as he squeezed Martin a little tighter.

Martin loved the tight embrace and also realized that Julian must have a lot more muscle than what you could tell from all the clothes he had on. As he enjoyed the embrace he also felt a little guilty. He knew something Julian didn't know and Julian had trusted him with the whole Tommy affair. "Hey Julian," he said.

"I have something to tell you. I don't know if Nate told you, but Luke sort of went looking for him and pleaded with him to give him a chance like three weeks ago," Martin told him.

"When did that happen?" Julian asked as he loosened his embrace on him.

"I think it was around the time we saw you guys at the coffee shop," Martin thought aloud.

"So Luke went looking for him, did he actually talk to Nate?" Julian asked him as he moved and sat down on Martin's bed again.

Martin got up from the chair and moved to sit next to Julian, after he did so he took a deep breath and shook his head. "No, Nate didn't open the door, but Luke apologized, told him he loved him and asked him for a second chance from outside," Martin told him.

"What did Nate do?" Julian asked him.

"He told him to go away, and a little bit after that he sent Luke a text message saying he had never stopped loving him and that he needed time to think," Martin answered flatly.

Julian's eyes became wide. "Are we talking about the same Nate? 'Cause he sure hasn't said any of this to me," Julian said.

"Well that's what I thought, he didn't tell any of it to Becca either, maybe he was scared of what you guys might say if you knew he still has feelings for Luke," Martin said.

"Well I certainly am not too happy to hear that, considering all that Luke did to him, but if that is how he feels what can I do? I can't believe he wouldn't tell me..." Julian said shaking his head.

"When Becca found out she got a little aggressive on Luke, maybe he was afraid of that reaction from the beginning," Martin told him.

"She attacked him or something?" Julian asked shocked.

"Squeezed his nuts until he convinced her to talk and it seems like they are working things out," Martin said.

Julian gave a slight laugh, and then he shook his head. "Crazy ass girl. Wait, so you think she and Luke are friends again?" Julian asked him.

"Apparently they are, it will take some time but they've worked through their stubborn opinions a little and that's a start," Martin said.

"I can't believe all of this has happened and Nate hasn't said anything, do you think he's that confused?" Julian asked him.

"Well sometimes people can't really decide whether to listen to their head or their heart, maybe he found himself in that position," Martin told him.

"That was about the time we figured out Tommy has feelings for Dylan... Wait, do you think he had been thinking of getting back with Luke all along?" Julian asked him in amazement.

"Maybe, that's what I figured when you said you guys knew about Tommy's attraction since that long, and also because you didn't mention anything about Luke's visit to Nate," Martin answered.

"So he really does still love Luke huh?" Julian asked.

"I would dare say so," Martin answered.

Julian sighed and smiled, and then he looked at Martin in the eyes. "If your cousin just as much hurts him ever again..." he started saying.

"I will be the first one in line to kick his ass man," Martin said cutting him off.

"Really?" Julian asked arching his eyebrows.

"Well he'd probably kick my ass before I could try to hurt him but..." Martin started saying.

Julian reached out and started running his hands over Martin's bicep and then on his chest. Martin blushed and looked at Julian in the eyes, and then Julian pulled his hand back. "I'm sorry, but for the record I think you're just fine man," he said blushing before looking away.

"Nate's right, you twins are both hormonal beasts," Martin said smiling.

"And you should see us when we haven't gotten laid or jerked off," Julian said smiling at him.

"God you guys are nuts," Martin said laughing.

As they walked back to Nate's dorm, they walked shoulder to shoulder. They hadn't done much affectionate contact for a while now. It had been at least a two weeks since Tommy had held Nate as he would at the beginning of their strange relationship. At the beginning, it had been a sweet, tender relationship, now he could only describe it as strange.

"What are you thinking about?" Tommy suddenly asked him.

"Oh... I... I think we need to talk," Nate answered.

"Ok... Well we're almost at your room," Tommy said.

"Yeah, when we get there we'll talk," Nate told him. He was sure this was the moment to talk about it, not only had he assured himself that Tommy was indeed attracted to Dylan, but he was sure that he had let it go unspoken for too long. As they entered the building, they walked to the stairs and started going up. When they got to the third floor Nate almost went in the hallway, he flinched and turned back to keep on going up. He almost went in the floor of Luke's room, 'our room' he thought as he kept going until they reached the fourth floor and walked up to Nate's room.

Once inside he felt cornered. There was no more avoiding it, he had already said they needed to talk and if he said something stupid or not serious then Tommy would know he was avoiding what he really wanted to say. He took a deep breath as Tommy sat down on top of Nate's bed, rubbing his hands together nervously. "Tommy I think that... I have noticed a few things that you haven't said," he said trying to pick his words carefully.

"What do you mean?" Tommy asked him as he looked down and placed his hands on his knees.

He didn't want to scare him off, but he was sure that it would be better if he'd go to the point. "Listen Tommy, how do you really feel about me?" Nate asked him as he sat down next to him.

"I... Why would you ask?" Tommy asked him back as he gave him an inquiring look.

"Because I want to know, I mean... I think that you're not sure of what you feel for me," Nate told him as he looked at Tommy watching carefully for his reaction.

"I like you a lot, why would you say I'm not sure of that?" Tommy asked him.

"I know you like me and I like you too man, but I feel like you don't like me the way you think you do," Nate slowly told him.

"And why wouldn't I like you that way?" Tommy asked getting annoyed.

"Because you like someone else," Nate told him. Silence. Tommy remained silent in shock of hearing Nate's answer. Nate saw how Tommy stiffened and tried to move a few times before going back to his rigid position. "You like Dyl don't you?" Nate asked him. Tommy looked at him in disbelief, and then he tried to talk and couldn't get the words out. Suddenly he got up and clumsily tried to get to the door. Nate acted on pure instinct, as soon as he saw Tommy start moving for the door, he got up and grabbed Tommy from behind wrapping his arms tightly around him.

"Let go of me, how could you say something like that?" Tommy said as he struggled to get free. There was no such luck, Nate had a firm grip on him and he did not intend to let go off him.

"Because it's true, I've seen the way you look at him, and I'm afraid that it's hurting you," Nate answered as he pulled hard, trying to get Tommy back on the bed.

"And why do you care about that? It's not like he would love me back anyways," Tommy said with his voice breaking.

"So you are in love with him? And what makes you think that he wouldn't like you?" Nate asked him. Tommy gave up, he started going limp and then after a few seconds Nate heard him start sobbing.

"He's straight, you know that, he doesn't like guys, he wouldn't like me..." Tommy said as he started crying. Nate started running his hands over Tommy's chest caressing him and then Tommy turned around and hugged him. "I've tried to like girls, but every time I try to date a girl he's always on my mind I can't help it," Tommy said before starting to sob uncontrollably.

"Shh, I'm here buddy, let it out," Nate said as Tommy cried into his shoulder. They sat down on Nate's bed and Tommy kept his head on Nate's shoulder as he cried for about five minutes, they stayed in silence all along, with Nate running his hands over Tommy's back. After what it seemed like an eternity, Tommy started to calm down.

"You must hate me now," Tommy said as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. His grey eyes seemed to have lost their shine now that he had been crying for some time.

"Why would I hate you?" Nate asked him as he looked at him right in the face.

"Because I used you, to try and get Dyl off my mind," Tommy said looking down with a few tears falling down his cheeks.

"Well I guess we're even then," Nate said smiling but feeling a little guilty too.

"Why?" Tommy asked him as he looked up and into his eyes.

"Because I guess we could say that I was trying to forget about Luke by being with you," Nate said looking down.

"You know I sort of suspected you still loved him," Tommy said and Nate looked up and saw that he was smiling a little bit.

"Damn are we screwed up?" Nate asked giggling.

Tommy gave a small laugh and then hugged Nate. "Please don't tell him," Tommy asked him as they hugged.

"I won't, that is your decision. But if you ask me, you shouldn't be so afraid," Nate told him.

"Why?" Tommy asked him.

"Because you know that Dyl loves you, you're the best friend he's ever had and he would never do anything to hurt you," Nate answered.

"But he doesn't like guys..." Tommy started saying.

"Do you know that for sure?" Nate asked him.

Tommy pulled back from him and gave him a questioning look. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"He's told me and Jules that he really wonders how sex with a guy is, and if you come to think about it, he's never really lasted with a girl," Nate said.

"So, you think he'd give it a try with me?" Tommy asked with hope in his voice.

"Well you won't know until you try," Nate told him.

"I guess so," Tommy said.

Nate looked at the clock on his nightstand and so it was close to nine. Tommy looked back, saw the clock too and got up. "If you and Jules don't get on your way soon you'll have to drive really late," Nate said.

"I know, I'll go get him I think he's at Martin's room," Tommy said. Then he looked at Nate and smiled before hugging him. "Thank you," he said as he held Nate tightly.

"Talk to Julian, he's noticed the same things I have, and he will help you if you need him," Nate told him.

"Yeah, I guess I was getting a little obvious," Tommy said looking down.

"Now go and stop worrying about it," Nate told him. Tommy leaned forward and gave him one last kiss, slow, soft and warm. Then he smiled at him and left the room. He stood in the middle of the room after Tommy left for a few minutes. Ever since he saw the door close behind Tommy there was only one word going repeatedly through his head: Luke. He went into his bathroom and washed his face in the sink, looked at himself in the mirror and smiled before he dashed out and down the stairs.

He ran through the hallway until he reached their room. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. He heard noise inside the room, footsteps were coming towards the door and then the door slowly opened. Luke stared at him for a few seconds before giving him a shy smile. "Hi," was all Luke could say before Nate leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. Nate put his hands on the sides of Luke's head and kissed him repeatedly until they were both breathing heavily and had taken a few steps inside the room. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming," Luke told him as they parted from their kisses.

"You're not dreaming, I love you, I love you, I love you..." Nate kept saying as he started planting kisses all over Luke's face, neck and shoulders. Luke pushed the door closed as Nate put his arms around him. Nate picked him up and threw him in bed; he took his shirt off and then started trying to get his pants off. Luke sat up and helped him get his pants off, and then pulled his underwear off. At the minute he saw Nate's chest and stomach, he noticed Nate seemed thinner, you could see his chest had more definition than before and you could make out the outline of his abs. Yet there was still a slight roll at the lower part of his stomach. Luke started kissing Nate all over his torso before he took his dick into his mouth causing Nate to moan in pleasure.

He hadn't even had oral sex with Tommy and they had only shared a few sexual experiences, and now that he was with Luke he felt like he would come any moment. He pulled Luke's head off his dick and then started pulling Luke's shirt off him. Luke started pushing his pants down and Nate pulled his boxers off too. Then he bent down and took Luke's dick into his mouth and worked it for a few seconds before Luke pulled him up and kissed him. Nate pushed Luke on top of the bed and then got on top of him. He started rubbing his dick against Luke's and Luke started rubbing his against Nate's, after a few minutes they had a rhythm and they were both panting.

Luke couldn't stand it and tried to stop. "Nate, wait or I'll... Oh damn..." he said as he started shooting his load in between them. Luke thought he'd die, he'd never shot so much cum in his life before. "I'm sorry I guess I was too excited..." he started saying. Nate leaned forward and kissed him long and passionately before he started humping him again. This time the added feeling of Luke's cum in between them added up and made him go over the edge in no time, he shot his load in between them as he moaned into Luke's mouth. Once his orgasm started subsiding he looked into Luke's eyes and saw that Luke was about to cry.

"What's wrong?" Nate asked him.

"Nothing, I just can't believe this, I thought you'd never want me again," Luke said before he kissed Nate. He looked at him in the eyes and then looked lower, to the small scar that had remained as evidence of the boot Luke hurled at his face. He leaned forward and kissed the small scar. The feeling sent shivers all over Nate's body. "God I would rather hurt myself twenty times before hurting you ever again..." Luke said before letting out a sob.

Nate held him tight and kissed him on the lips. "I didn't know what to do when you pushed me away; I thought I was going to die..." Nate said trying not to cry.

"I promise I won't ever hurt you like that again, god I can't live without you again, I felt like my heart was rotting away every second I spent without you..." Luke told him.

"Shhh... Let's not talk now, let's just enjoy the moment," Nate said looking up at him with tears in his eyes, yet smiling.

Luke smiled when he saw the smile and the shine in Nate's eyes. Just like he remembered them to be. "Ok," he said as he got his arms around Nate and held him tight against him. After a few seconds their breathing went back to normal and Nate was planting little kisses on Luke's chest. Then all of a sudden they heard the door open, they both looked up startled.

"Hey Luke I was just..." Martin said as he walked in. "Oh shit, I'm sorry," he said wide eyed when he saw them lying there. He walked back to the door and then turned around with a huge smile on his face. "You guys are back together!" he yelled as he jumped on top of the two of them.

"Hey, get off man!" Nate yelled.

"We're covered in cum!" Luke yelled.

"EWWWWWWWW you could've warned me dudes!" Martin yelled as he got up. He walked back to the door and then looked down at himself and saw that he had some cum stuck to his arms after wrapping them around Nate and Luke. "God it's so good to see you two together," he said as he jumped up a few times. "You guys are back together right?" he asked suddenly with worry on his face.