The days passed Mary like a rocket as she readied her family for leaving them for six weeks. Before she was ready for it, she and her youngest son, Gary, sat in the front row in first class on a United Flight for John Wayne airport in Orange County, California. Gary was next to the window. "This isn't anything like the old movies," he complained.

"What do you mean, Gary?"

"In the movies everyone waved back and forth as the plane pulls away from the terminal. Dad and the guys are already headed home. And it was weird having to take my shoes off and get searched like I was a criminal."

Mary laid her head back, thinking about gentler times when no one worried about bombs and terrorists. For a moment she regretted that her boys would never experience that piece of mind, but then she thought, 'Even ten years ago Gary probably wouldn't have had this chance at having a normal healthy body. Technology has advanced so much, so fast.' She mentally sighed. 'Now is such a fragile time to be leaving my family.' She looked at her youngest, the one for which everything else in her life was being put on hold. 'Yes,' she thought, 'whatever the turn of events, whatever the outcome, to see Gary standing straight for the first time in his young life will be worth the price.'

Gary watched the terminal receding and waved, hoping someone would see him. He sighed and sat back in his seat. Mary looked out the window also wishing she could see her husband and two eldest sons waving as they moved away from the terminal.

"Aren't you excited, Gary? Just think when you come back you'll be standing straight. Maybe you'll even be able to play football. Wouldn't you like that?" Mary asked.

Gary looked at his mother, noticing she looked tired. "Yeah, sure, Mom." He had long ago lost any enthusiasm in answering that question. It was a dumb question anyway. He'd probably never be able to play rough games like football. The grownups knew that as well as he did.

Lloyd stood beside his wife's car looking out to the runway where he could see the United plane waiting to take off. He felt he needed his wife beside him now more than ever, but the needs of their children always came first. David and Max stood on either side of him. He placed his arms around their shoulders as he sighed. "Well, boys we're bachelors for a while." They waved at the departing plane as it disappeared from view behind a building. Lloyd squeezed his sons' shoulders. "Okay guys, they're on their way. Let's be on ours."

David broke away from his dad's arm around his neck and walked around the car to get into the front passenger seat. He mumbled something about being too old for such public intimacy with his dad, but at the same time he felt a bit envious as he watched his dad ruffling Max's hair before he opened the rear door to let Max get into the back seat.

Max'd held on to his dad's hand to keep him from removing it. He felt, down deep where he hadn't really thought about it before, that the days of his dad showing him affection were numbered. Soon his dad wouldn't be willing to show him love this way.

"So, you guys ready for another trip down to Dave's this weekend?" Lloyd asked.

"Oh yeah, Dad. I really like Uncle Dave and Uncle Joe. They are way cool," Max enthused.

When David didn't answer Lloyd glanced at him. "Sure, Dad, I'm looking forward to it, too," David said.

"So, how did Joe get to be uncle, too, Max?"

"It was David's idea."

Lloyd looked at David for the answer.

"It's simple logic, Dad. If Uncle Dave were married to a woman she would be my aunt. But he's married to Joe. So Joe has to be my uncle. Don't you agree?"

"There is nothing wrong with your logic."

"Well, don't you agree?" David persisted.

Lloyd looked up and met his son's eyes. David caught the sad expression in his dad's eyes and he knew what his dad was thinking about that made him so sad. He recalled the story he'd overheard him tell his mother, and thought about the pain that his dad had to be going through. Lloyd looked down for a moment and then back at David. The expression was gone.

"Yes. Yes, Son, You are absolutely right. What better way to express your love and acceptance of Uncle Dave. I love you, David." He didn't try to hug him, respecting the personal space David had set between them, but he did wonder why David was suddenly keeping his distance. Lloyd had always had a close rapport with his eldest son. To Lloyd it'd always seemed they were an extension of each other.

He looked at Max who had his head stuck between the seats, and gave him a noogy on top of his head. "And I love you, too, Max." Max grinned in delight.

David watched his dad for a moment and then thought, 'What the hell, he's my dad no matter what, and we love each other. That's all that really matters.' He put his arm on his dad's shoulder and squeezed the back of his neck. He couldn't help noticing his dad's happy smile as he started the car.

Mary had called Dave during her flight west and told him that Lloyd had been to see a psychotherapist and had gone through a catharsis, so Dave was expecting a call from Lloyd when he picked up on the third ring. Lloyd told Dave he'd be down Friday evening, and to expect to have him and the two boys through Sunday morning. Dave supposed that Lloyd's gruff abruptness was a cover up for emotions that he didn't want to deal with over the phone. He found that he was looking forward to Lloyd's visit and at the same time, dreading it. Even after nearly twenty years he still felt raw where Lloyd was concerned.

After Mary's visit, Dave had told Joe the whole story. They were sitting outside enjoying the cool air and warm sunshine of a beautiful fall morning. Joe had been quiet for a while after Dave finished. He only made one comment.

"I can understand even a straight guy falling in love with you."

Dave looked at him waiting for more.

"Dave you may be forty-two but you are still the most naive person I may have ever encountered. You don't realize the effect you can have on others."

"You're wrong Joe. Think about this. Don't answer. Can you be my friend and not want me sexually?"

Joe blinked. He looked at Dave. He stared off into space. He looked back at Dave. Dave's stare never wavered. Every time Joe looked at him their eyes connected. Joe couldn't figure out how to answer without entangling himself. If he said 'yes', he'd be accused of lying. If he said 'no', then he'd lost the argument before it even started.

Dave eventually broke the silence with another question.

"How many close friends do you have, Joe?"

"Several."

"Can you count them on one hand? Two?"

"Two."

"Not counting a couple of female friends, I can count mine on one finger, and that's you, and only because I consented to sex with you. Bill was very gregarious, he had lots of friends and they all flirted with me, some even propositioned me. They acted like I was their friend, too, until he died and then they all faded away."

Joe studied him for a moment. At the moment he could only grasp the first sentence and what it meant. "Do you really think that the only reason I love you is for the sex?"

Dave didn't answer. He just stared at Joe. Joe put his own interpretation to the look.

"I never had any idea you felt this way." He stood up and walked over to the parapet and gazed out over the city. He wondered how Dave could be so fucked up and be so warm and loving at the same time. He turned around, resting his elbows on the high wall and studied him. Dave returned his stare with a quizzical expression. Joe dropped his gaze and looked at his feet.

"I am hurt." He looked up again. "Just to be in your presence brings me great joy. I love you, Dave. I love 'you'. Having sex with you is wonderful because it is one of the ways I can express my love for you. I'd give it up in a heart beat if I had to, if I could still be with you. Don't you understand that it is you I want, you I need, you I love? The sex is just an added bonus."

Dave continued to look at him, his expression confused. Joe had no idea what he might be thinking. He turned away and stared back over the city for a couple of minutes, not really seeing it. He turned back, walked back to his chair and sat down. He picked up his glass of iced tea and sipped it. The ice was melted; the tea was tepid. He set the glass back in the wet ring on the tabletop.

Dave was sitting forward, his arms folded across his knees, his head down. He knew he had just wounded Joe, yet he couldn't figure out what he had said to make him hurt so badly.

Joe wondered what he was thinking. Dave wasn't responding to what he had said, so he lashed out at him.

"So, having sex with me was your way of paying me to be your friend. And here I thought you were doing it out of love."

Dave looked up at him. The pain in his face was like a dagger in Joe's heart. "You've got it all wrong, Joe. I love having sex with you. I love making you feel good. I love the touch of your hands. I love touching you, your body. I love you, Joe. I need and want you as much as you do me."

"And yet you sit there and tell me I'm your friend because you consented to have sex with me. That's really fucked." Joe's voice was cold.

"I didn't mean it like that." Dave shook his head.

"So how did you mean it? They are plain English words. I didn't misunderstand one of them. Especially, 'consent'. You're messed up in your head, Dave." Joe stood up and looked down at him. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away. He'd taken about ten steps. Stopping, he whirled around. "I don't think that Bill's friends abandoned you. I suspect that you dropped them."

Dave looked like he had been physically slapped. He sat there with his hands clasped between his thighs. Tears streamed down his face. Joe realized that he had hit on a truth. He didn't want to hurt Dave, but he did want to straighten out his thinking. He walked back, and sat down next to him.

"Didn't you have close friends when you were a kid?"

"Not really." Dave was disconcerted.

The admission astounded Joe. "You had to have had at least one."

"Yeah, I had one friend I was close to when I was about eleven."

"What happened with him?"

"He talked me into jacking him off. My dad caught us and forbade me to see him again. He told me to be wary of other guys that wanted to have sex with me, that they were just using me. There were other guys in high school that were friendly, but they all wanted the same thing. The only real friend I had was Lloyd. He was Mary's boyfriend. He was safe. He was my friend for nearly four years before he wanted to have sex with me and you know what happened there."

"How did you ever manage to hook up with Bill?"

"Well, by the time I met Bill, my dad was dead. I didn't have to worry about him thinking I was a pervert. Plus Bill never came on to me. I fell in love with him. I seduced him."

"And me? You let me take you to bed that first night."

"You? Joe, I had fallen in love with you before Bill died. You had seduced me long before you got me into bed. I never could have said 'no' to those golden eyes."

"So, explain what you meant when you said you consented to have sex with me."

"I meant that I gave myself permission, that it was okay for me to love you."

"I see."

"Joe, I didn't mean to hurt you. You know I would never intentionally hurt you."

"I know that." He paused in thought for a moment. "Dave, you need to understand that in nearly every friendship between two gay men there is a sexual tension. The curiosity of what he would be like in bed. The little sexual innuendos. The innocent flirting. It's all part of the camaraderie. I suspect that, maybe, it's much the same with straights - they're just not so conscious of the sexual tension.

"In gay male bonding the flirting goes a little further. Maybe you misconstrue this. You're a very handsome, sexy man, Dave. Of course, every other man is going to flirt with you, make a pass at you. It's what men do. It doesn't mean that they only want your body. It's their way of saying they want to be your friend, too. Your dad was not entirely wrong. There are those out there that only want sex. But if the passes and flirting are handled right, kept in perspective, then a beautiful friendship can develop in most cases.

"Dave, we've been sequestered for too long. I want you to meet my friends. I'm going to invite Gene over for dinner. I want you to observe how he flirts with me. He'll do the same with you. Believe me, if either of us literally tried to get him into bed, he'd be shocked and offended. His flirting is just his way of saying he likes you. Nothing more. So don't go getting offended by it, and you will probably find that you like him, too. Okay?"

"Sure, Joe."

"I'm curious about something. Were there any of Bill's friends that you really liked?"

"Yeah, they were all nice; there were several that I thought were extra nice. I liked them."

"Did any of them seriously try to seduce you? Like make unwarranted physical advances? You know physically grope you while making lewd or lascivious remarks, or maybe push their tongue into your mouth while forcing you to kiss them."

"No, no one ever did anything that gross. No, it was usually just comments like 'tight buns, wouldn't it be nice to play with them' or 'oh, what a big basket, anything in there for me?' you know, that kind of thing."

"Dave, do you really think that any of them were intent on getting into your pants?"

Dave thought for a bit before answering. "I guess not." Then quickly added, "But I wasn't going to give them the chance."

"So you're telling me that you cut yourself off from your mutual friends, and other potential ones, because they flirted with you."

"Yeah, I suppose that is what I did."

"You must get awfully lonely."

"I haven't been since I met you, Joe."

"But don't you see, you've got to have friends other than just me. If I kicked the bucket you'd be right back where you were when I found you in that bar. You wouldn't want to re-experience that would you?"

"No."

"Well, I'm going to teach you how to make friends and keep them. I don't want you being alone if something happens to me."

Joe invited his friend Gene to dinner the next evening. He explained to him what he was attempting. Gene laid it on thick when he stepped out of the elevator and saw Dave for the first time. First he hugged Joe and gave one of his butt cheeks a squeeze. "Damn it's good to see you again, you get more handsome everyday."

Joe grinned and hugged him back ignoring the extra little squeeze. "I'm sorry I've been very busy. Gene, I want you to meet my lover, Dave."

Dave had been standing back observing the interaction between Joe and his good friend. When he saw Gene place his hand on Joe's butt and squeeze, he was momentarily filled with a fury, but when Joe ignored it and turned Gene's attention to him, he relaxed and smiled at Gene.

"Hot damn, man. I forgive you for ignoring me," Gene said to Joe, grinning at Dave. "I'd ignore the world, too."

Dave offered his hand as Joe said, "Dave this is Gene. I've told you about him."

"It's good to meet you, Gene."

Gene took his hand and pulled him into a hug. Dave not wanting to embarrass Joe hugged him back and discovered that he enjoyed it. He also noted that there was nothing sexual about the hug. Gene stepped back and looked Dave up and down. "Joe, you've picked the creme de la creme. I am so jealous." Dave blushed. "If you ever get tired of this gorgeous wop remember me, Dave."

Dave grinned. "Sorry, Gene, there's no getting tired of my man. Everyday just gets more exciting with him." He slid an arm around his lover's waist and pulled him up against his side. Joe kissed his forehead.

The evening progressed with Dave feeling more and more at ease with Gene and his flirting. He even got his butt patted by the man and sloughed it off with a grin.

After Gene had left, Joe cozied up to Dave who had sprawled on the sofa. "So what do you think of Gene?"

"I like him. And once I relaxed... I even enjoyed his flirting."

"I noticed that you were even dishing it right back at him by the time dinner was over."

"I don't know how I ever missed learning this growing up. Am I really that naive, Joe?"

Joe chuckled. "Not anymore, Love."

"Hi, Larry, this is Dave Gates." Dave was a little apprehensive making the call to one of Bill's close friends.

"Hey, Dave, we haven't heard from you in such a long time. How're you hanging these days?"

Joe, who was listening on another phone, grinned at him and winked. Dave smiled, noted the sexual innuendo and ignored it as he answered Larry. "It took me a long time to get over Bill's death, but I'm back with the living now. Life's been really good recently. How are you and Ben doing?"

"Oh, we're doing great. Just getting a little older."

"Larry, I've got a new partner. We're having a little get-together. I'd love for you and Ben to come and meet him. I know he'll really like you guys."

"I'll answer now for both of us. Yes, we'd love to lay eyes on your gorgeous body again and meet your new man. When?"

"Saturday evening, a week from tomorrow, seven o'clock. Oh, I've moved. I live in the Tower Condos across the campus from my bookstore. Just tell the guard that you're going up to Dave and Joe's place."

"We'll be there. It's so good to hear from you again. We've missed you, Dave. Bye."

Dave placed the receiver back in the cradle. He was incredulous.

"See Dave, they love you." Joe said, giving him a hug. "They're delighted to come back into your life. They really are your friends. Make another call."

Dave ended up calling the whole list of eleven couples, all friends that he had turned away from after Bill's death. Everyone of them was happy to hear from him and nearly everyone of them flirted, with little sexual innuendos. Most accepted his invitation, and the others left it open to get together with him another time. They were all glad he had found another partner and had moved on with his life.

Joe was amazed that in forty-two years that Dave had never figured it all out. He guessed that Dave's dad had been a very strong influence; accepting of Dave's orientation, but slightly misguided in helping his son. And then Lloyd's actions reinforcing what his dad had led him to believe. Yeah, he could see how Dave had stayed so naive about relationships.

The boys had described where Dave lived, but that really didn't prepare Lloyd for the awesome magnificence of the building or Dave and Joe's home on top of it. When Dave met him at the elevator door, Lloyd noted that he looked the same as he always had; he still dressed in Levi's, a plaid flannel shirt, and cowboy boots. His relaxed air suggested that he had adjusted to his new standard of living. He shook Lloyd's hand and welcomed him to the Eyrie.

Lloyd took in the quiet masculine opulence with a bit of envy. But he knew that there was nothing he would trade for his life, wife and sons. Thanks to Dave, he was where he should be... where he wanted most to be.

"The tent is set up and ready for you guys." Dave told his nephews. "If you'd like to swim, the pool is heated, and the air is warm today. Would you like a tour of the house, Lloyd?"

"Yes, that would be nice."

"Can I offer you some iced tea or a soft drink. The boys know that sodas are available in the fridge out by the pool."

"I'd love a glass of iced tea, Dave."

After showing Lloyd the whole house, Dave suggested they sit out on the covered deck. The afternoon air was pleasant. Dave watched Lloyd walk around the yard taking in his surroundings. He walked over to the parapet and gazed out over the city. He turned and smiled at Dave.

"Mary tells me you have found a new partner," he said as an opener to further conversation.

Dave nodded and said, "Joe Paolini. He designed and built this tower."

"That's what David was telling me. I've heard of him. I saw a bunch of award plaques on the wall in the entrance to the building, but I didn't get a chance to read any."

"Yeah, Joe is an internationally acclaimed architect. You'll like him. He's really a neat fellow."

"So how did you meet him?"

"I'd seen him in the bookstore for years, but didn't know who he was. Then one night a little over a year after Bill's passing, I was sitting in a local bar being morose, when Joe walked in and started a conversation with me. We went to dinner and talked through the evening, and late into the night. We started seeing each other. I eventually moved in with him."

"Cool."

Lloyd studied his tea glass, rubbing a finger up and down the condensation. "I have really missed this; sitting here talking like .... like old friends." He looked over at Dave. "I am so sorry that I've been such an ass for so many years. I wronged you and Mary... and my sons. Even your mother has been affected by my mean actions." He paused and looked at Dave to see if there was any reaction. Dave's face showed nothing except his always friendly open smile. "Dave, I don't expect you to understand why I did what I did, or how I treated you for so long. I'm not sure that I understand it all myself. All the crap about keeping my boys away from gay influence was just that.... so much bull shit. All to hide my feelings from myself. I twisted things in my mind to make it your fault that I did and said the things that I did, when all you did was be my friend and brother."

Lloyd went back to studying his glass. He swirled the ice as he continued. "I loved you, Dave. You were the little brother I never had. I perverted that love. You were so handsome. Nineteen. Star football player. As Mary's pregnancy advanced, I suppose I let my little head do the thinking. I began to see you as an extension of your sister. I let my feelings get out of hand. I lusted after you. Worse, I acted on that lust."

He sighed and paused, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "I couldn't face myself. I wanted to be a good husband to Mary. I managed to convince myself that it was really your fault that I propositioned you. I took all the stupid prejudice that I was brought up with and accepted it as fact. I couldn't let Mary know what I had done. I certainly couldn't face you again. So I cast you out of my life." Lloyd sighed. He glanced up at Dave. The tears in Dave's eyes wrenched his heart. "It was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Losing you as my best friend."

He stared into the amber liquid in his glass; the ice had melted. He sat the glass down and stood up. He couldn't look at Dave again in his shame. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shuffled over to the parapet to stare out over the city not really seeing it. He couldn't blame Dave for not responding to his confession. He didn't deserve a response. Maybe he should just gather his sons and head back home.

"Lloyd." Dave's voice was soft soothing and full of compassion. "Lloyd, I never stopped caring for you." He'd moved silently up behind him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I've waited all these years for you to wake up and recognize that you needed to face yourself. My heart is bursting with joy that you finally have. Please, still be my friend. I want you back in my life again."

Lloyd turned and looked at him. "Do you mean it, Dave? Can you really forgive me for what I've done? Can you really accept me as your friend again?"

Dave smiled and held out his arms. "Yes, my friend, yes."

Lloyd sniffled, and with tears blurring his vision, he walked into a badly needed hug.

David had followed Max into the bedroom and changed into a swimsuit. Max was eager to get into the water and had changed and left before David even got his clothes off. As he strolled through the living room toward the Den and the door leading directly to the pool he caught a glance of his dad and Dave sitting right outside the French doors. He paused and listened. Forgetting the pool, he sat down just inside the door where he could hear the conversation between the two men.

Tears coursed down his cheeks as he felt his dad's anguish. He didn't hear the elevator doors open, nor did he see Joe walk over and stop next to him and watch Lloyd and Dave embrace. Joe reached over and ruffled David's hair.

"They're both going to be alright. Are you okay?"

David nodded and smiled up at Joe.

"I'm fine. I just had to hear how it went."

At that moment Max called out for him to join him in the pool. He grinned apologetically at Joe and headed toward the Den and out to the pool.

Dave never thought about the dichotomy in his psyche. He wasn't the kind of man to analyze his feelings, unless they were brought to his attention. Yes, he was the one and same person who had turned away from his friends, feeling that they only wanted him for sex. And now he accepted Lloyd unconditionally back into his life after him being, in fact, the only friend who had ever made a serious sexual move on him.

Joe had figured this out and had made the decision to guide Dave back into being friends with all those he had left behind. He'd discovered in his unbound love for Dave the ability to know Dave's innermost feelings just by looking into his eyes. Through the pain of Dave's words he had learned to look beyond the verbal and see what Dave really felt and why. That was why he was not surprised to see Dave giving Lloyd a hug as he watched from the doorway, while talking to his nephew David. After David left he leaned against the door jam and waited for the emotional moment between the two men to pass before he made his presence known.

When they broke, Joe stepped out. "Honey, I'm home," he called out.

Lloyd blushed. That was a phrase he often used on Mary. Dave grinned.

"He's jerking your chain, Lloyd. Start getting used to it." He turned to Joe. "Hi, Babe."

Joe wrapped him in an embrace and kissed him. Dave reciprocated and then pushed him back.

"Joe, this is Lloyd, Mary's husband. Lloyd, my partner, Joe Paolini."

Lloyd smiled and put out his hand. Joe ignored it and stepped up to him and hugged him. Lloyd found he liked it, and hugged him back.

"So it's good to meet my fellow in-law," Lloyd said. "You're exactly like Max described you...totally awesome."

Joe actually blushed.

Dave grinned. "One point for Lloyd," he said.

David sat down on the edge of the pool, dangling his feet in the lukewarm water. He was thinking about what he'd just heard. He wondered if he were in Dave's place could he be so forgiving and accepting. He thought not. No, his Uncle Dave was an exceptional man.

"What took you so long?" Max asked as he grabbed the edge with both hands.

"Aaah... I got hung up on something."

"Come on in, I'll race you to the end and back." Max loved the water. That was the one place he excelled over his big brother.

"Nah, I don't feel like swimming right now."

"Oh man, you're no fun."

"Maybe later, huh?"

"Forget it." Max pushed off and floated away on his back. He closed his eyes and moved his hands slightly, just enough to keep his face above water.

That evening Lloyd got to meet Gio and discover for himself what good Italian food tasted like. No one said anything about Gio's sexual preferences and Gio made no comments or innuendos. The one thing that he did when he was introduced to Lloyd was kiss him on each cheek and welcome him to the family. And when Gio told him that he appeared to be worthy of being Mary's husband, Lloyd took an immediate liking to the rotund young man.

Sunday morning, Dave, with everyone's help, made a big brunch which they enjoyed on the terrace. They lazed around talking and enjoying more coffee until around one p.m. Lloyd stood and stretched. "I think its time to hit the road. Tomorrow is a work day and school day."

At the elevator Lloyd hugged Dave and said, "I'm happy that Mary forced the issue. It's so good to have you back in my life."

"Yes, I am grateful too. I've missed the old Lloyd. I'm glad you are back."

An hour into the drive home David had fallen asleep leaning against the window. Max sat next to his dad watching the cars passing. Lloyd glanced at him and smiled. Max smiled back. "You're right, Son, your uncles are totally awesome men." Max grinned and laid his head against his dad's shoulder and dozed off, leaving Lloyd to his own thoughts about how good his life was.