Matt

The old farm house looked lonely and deserted without lights on inside. It had been such a cheerful place the only time I'd ever been in it - the day before Will and Reece's wedding. I rolled down the long driveway. It was dark - moonless - without neighboring houses to shed any light the garlic fields on each side of me were black. I turned off my bike. Behind me half a mile away, I could barely hear the freeway traffic. Other than a couple of crickets there were no other sounds.

Dismounting, I parked my bike behind the big azalea bush beside the back door and climbed the steps up to the backdoor stoop. Before opening the door, I glanced around. Far off I could see a dim row of lights from the cottages where the field hands lived. I figured no one would notice if I turned on a light or two in the house. If they did, they'd probably assume some of the family was using the house.

I hadn't thought about food until I turned on the kitchen light. I could have gone back into the little town where there was at least a truck stop café open, but I wasn't up to it. I opened the fridge and stared at its empty shelves for a moment as the consequences of what I'd done was beginning to dawn on me. I hadn't thought about how my actions would affect the people that love me. I was still upset with Mom enough that I didn't much care whether she was worried or upset. She has Patrick to comfort her. But Luke and his dads and GP and Rich … I was beginning to feel guilty for the upset I knew they were going through. I'd done it though, and it was a bit late to change my mind.

With a sigh of resignation, I looked in the pantry. There were lots of canned goods on the shelves. Looking them over, I chose a can of baked beans. That would hold me until morning. I emptied the can into a bowl and stuck it in the microwave to heat. While waiting, I found some saltines that weren't quite stale, but darn close.

Sitting at the table spooning the beans into my mouth I wondered how I would survive. I knew diddly about farming, maybe I could get a job as a field hand. I'd seen them hoeing weeds. How hard could that be? Besides, while getting some groceries in the morning, I'd ask around for some work. I knew I'd have to be careful. I'd heard that small town people seem to know everybody, and there would be questions asked. I wondered if maybe I should just head on down to San Diego. I definitely needed to get some ID that showed me as older. After all, I could pass for at least nineteen as big as I am.

I didn't think I could sleep, but after rinsing out my bowl and the can, I turned off the kitchen light and headed upstairs to find a bed. I chose one at the back of the house, figuring the light wouldn't be noticed by someone driving down the road.

I pulled a book out of my backpack, undressed and slipped into bed. With just the bedside lamp on, I read until about two in the morning when I finally dozed off.

Will

The phone rang. I covered my head with my pillow as Reece reached over me to answer it. A moment later she poked me in the ribs with the phone and said, "It's Patrick. He sounds bad."

I rolled over and stuffed the pillow under my head before taking the phone. I glanced at the digital clock. It read 5:49 a.m.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked, as a way of greeting my oldest brother.

"I'm sorry, Will, but I need help and I don't have anyone else I can turn to. Can you meet me for breakfast? You don't have an early class do you?"

"Where are you? Why don't you come over to the house now?" I asked.

"Are you sure, Will? I don't want to put you and Reese to any trouble."

I glanced at my wife of just a few weeks. Her look of concern gave me the answer. "Come on over, Paddy. We'll have the coffee on."

Reece was already putting on a robe and heading for the kitchen. "Get showered and dressed," she called over her shoulder.

By the time I got to the kitchen, the coffee was just finishing, and Reese was in the bathroom doing her ablutions. She always takes a lot longer than me, but she always looks marvelous when she's finished. When I finish, I still look like me. I poured myself a mugful and wandered into the living room. It was still dark outside. I turned on the porch light, then stood staring out at the few lights from my neighbors. I watched as Patrick parked his Mercedes on the street. He looked defeated as he trudged up the walk. I wondered what could have happened. He's always so upbeat. The only time I could remember him being down was after his ex made that horrible scene at Pete and Dan's after Mom died. This time he looked a lot worse. He must have had a fight with Carla.

I opened the door as he came up the steps onto the porch. I was totally taken by surprise when he engulfed me in a hug, laying his head on my shoulder and shuddering out a big sigh.

"You look like hell, Paddy, what happened?" I rubbed a hand up and down his back.

"Oh God, Will, I've totally fucked up. I don't know what the matter is with me. I need help, and I didn't know who else to turn to."

This was strange. Patrick and I had never been close. He was so much older than me that by the time I was entering school he was already in college. As I analyzed the situation, I wondered if he was turning to me because I was the only other straight man in our family. What else could it be?

I led him into the kitchen and sat him at the breakfast table, got him a mug of coffee and then sat down across from him.

He held his mug like he was fearful someone might take it from him while he stared intently at it and chewed on his lower lip.

"Talk to me, Paddy. Why couldn't you go to Dad like we've always done?"

"He's turned gay. He wouldn't understand."

"And… I'm not gay … therefore … you think I would understand?"

He nodded.

"So," I sighed, "tell me what your problem is."

He looked up at me. His eyes … well, I'd never seen that expression in his eyes before - disconcerted - bewildered - slightly crazed.

"I've always thought of myself as liberal … accepting," he said. "Hell, I grew up with two younger incestuous brothers, and a baby brother that never grew to full size, then turned out to be gay, too. I accepted all that. And then… well, I admit it did throw me for a loop that after Mom died, Dad hooked up with Rich - but I took that in stride and was okay with that, too.

"I thought it was cool that Farr and John adopted a gay kid off the street, and that Luke found himself a boyfriend … I was okay with all that. Then I met Carla. When I started living with her and having her seventeen year old son around … a switch flipped in me. Suddenly I was having a hard time not tormenting the boy. Jealousy? Maybe … I don't know. But I was going out of my way to say cruel nasty things to him when his mother wasn't around, even in the middle of the night.

"When he threatened to tell Carla … I panicked - flipped out. I punched him in the stomach. I-I-I actually threatened to kill him. I should be in jail … I know that."

Horrified, I stared at Patrick who had his head down, his hands lying limply in his lap. I noticed movement behind him and glanced up at my beautiful young wife. I didn't know how long she'd been there or how much she'd heard, but apparently enough. She moved behind Patrick and started kneading his shoulders.

"The boy told Luke what I'd done," Patrick continued. "Luke in turn told Carla. The boy left a note and disappeared. She threw me out." He paused and rolled his head when Reece massaged his neck. "Why she didn't call the police and bring charges against me … I don't know."

"Did she give you back the engagement ring?" Reece quietly asked him.

He shook his head, and a moment later said, "No."

"She loves you, Patrick. If you seek some professional help and make amends with her son whose name is Matt - not 'the boy'," she pinched his shoulder muscles for emphasis making him cringe, "maybe she'll forgive you."

Patrick twisted around to look up at Reese. "Do you really think so?"

"Since she didn't throw the ring in your face, it's a good possibility."

I was sitting there thinking that Carla should have thrown the ring at him, called the police and had him arrested.

"I don't know where to turn to find the kind of help I need," Patrick moaned.

"It's called a psychiatrist, Paddy. Jeez, it sounds like you really went off the deep end."

Reece frowned at me and said, "Just cool it, Will. Patrick doesn't need you going off on him, too."

"So, you're saying that you succeeded in chasing Matt away?" I asked him, ignoring Reese.

"Will!" Reese growled at me.

"What? Matt is only sixteen and my nearly forty years old brother threatens to kill him and he doesn't expect him to run?"

"Patrick is upset enough without you rubbing his nose in it."

"I can well understand why he didn't go to Dad with his troubles. Dad would've throttled him. I don't understand why he thought I would be simpatico. I love my gay brothers, my dad, my in-laws and my nephew. They are all good people. It doesn't matter a damned bit to me that they're gay. Gay has nothing to do with who they are." I was in my lecturing mode.

"And don't tell me, Reece, that you aren't worried about Matt. He's a damned good kid, and he loves my nephew. Patrick is an adult, well able to take care of himself. Matt is barely out of childhood despite his size. He's out there somewhere - cold and alone, and probably scared out of his wits. And it's Patrick that chased him away. Christ, get your priorities straight."

I left the room feeling terrible that I'd dumped my frustration at Patrick on my sweet loving wife. I flopped down on the sofa and listened to Reece tell Patrick that she'd call him later with some numbers of people that could help him, then I heard her walk him to the door. After he left, I could feel her presence. In my mind, I could see her with her hands on her hips glaring indignantly at me. I opened an eye and glanced at her. "Do you think it's too early to call Dad?" I asked.

She harrumphed and went into the kitchen. I got up and followed her. She stood at the sink staring out at the now paling sky. I wrapped my arms around her waist and laid my chin on her shoulder. "I apologize for dumping on you, Love. If I'd directed it at Paddy, he'd probably have collapsed. I might have shown some concern for him if he'd appeared the least bit disturbed by Matt's disappearance."

Reece sighed and grasped my arms as she laid her head back against my chest. "You're right. But he does need help. I'll give him Dr. Cerebra's number. He'll straighten out Patrick's thinking." She sighed, then said, "It's early, and neither of us has a class until ten. Let's go back to bed and snuggle."

I kissed her neck and whispered, "I'll snuggle ya anytime." She hadn't told me yet, but I'm certain that she's carrying our child.

She giggled and pulled me towards the bedroom.

Pete

It was nearly dawn when we got a call from one of my foremen that lived in one of the little cottages behind the old farm homestead. There was a light on in the house. The house had been locked up tight since Will's wedding. Several members of the family had keys to the old homestead, but surely anyone of them would call us before going in.

I heaved a sigh and crawled out of bed while telling Dan the problem. "I'm going to go check it out. Just stay in bed, I'll be back soon."

"There's no way I'd get any sleep. I'm going with you." He jumped out of bed and started dressing.

We got into the New Ford 350 we'd recently purchased and headed across the valley. Dan had pulled the little pistol out from under the dash where a special holder had been installed and took a flashlight out of the glove box. We coasted up the drive with the lights off, wondering if whoever had been in the house had left already since there was no car parked anywhere. Dan handed me the flashlight and we quietly got out. The front door was locked, so we headed around to the kitchen. As Dan tried the door, I swept the flashlight around the back yard. I nearly missed seeing the rear wheel of a motorcycle sticking out from behind the big bush next to the porch.

When we examined it, Dan whispered, "This looks just like the one Dad and the guys gave Matt for his birthday."

I shrugged and whispered back, "They all look the same to me."

"Come on, let's check out the house."

I unlocked the door, swept the light around the wet room, then did the same in the kitchen. Dan flipped on the light - scaring the hell out of me. First thing we noticed was an empty baked beans can on the counter. In the sink was a rinsed bowl and spoon. "At least our intruder is neat," Dan commented, showing me that the can, too, had been rinsed out.

I checked all the downstairs rooms finding no evidence of anyone being there. We headed for the stairs, but I held out my hand. "Wait." I walked over to the stairwell and flipped on the light switches, which turned on the lights in the upstairs hallway as well as in the stairwell.

"Whoever you are, come out with your hands up." I bellowed. "We've got a gun and know how to use it. The police are on the way. So, come out now."

Dan snickered. "You've watched too much TV," he whispered.

I elbowed him in the ribs. We heard a door open, then a voice say, "Pete, it's me, Matt. Please don't shoot me." He appeared at the top of the stairs in his boxers with his hands above his head. Seeing the boy's face wet with tears, Dan quickly stuck the gun in his waistband, hiding it under his jacket.

"Matt! What the hell are you doing here?" I asked. "How did you get in?" We rushed up the stairs and grabbed the distressed boy in a hug.

"So, what are you doing here? Is Luke with you?" Dan asked.

Matt shook his head. "I didn't know where else to go."

"Why didn't you come to us?" I asked.

"Things have happened to me that I didn't think you'd believe."

Dan stepped back and I held Matt by his shoulders. "What happened, and why wouldn't we believe you?" I asked.

Dan interrupted. "Pete, let the boy get dressed. It's cold in here."

We followed Matt into one of the guest rooms where he started dressing. "Hold your questions and answers until Matt gets dressed and then come on down to the kitchen." Dan instructed. "I'm going to put some coffee on."

Dan

Matt came in, followed by Pete, who pulled out a chair and bade Matt to sit, then sat down beside him with a hand on his neck. He was being very protective of the boy. Even though they're nearly the same height, Pete was probably thirty pounds heavier. "Okay, tell us what's happened."

Matt stood and pulled up the bottom of his shirt exposing his very colorfully bruised stomach.

"Good grief, who did that to you?" Pete exclaimed as he jumped up.

I rushed over to look. "Ow. That looks like it hurt."

"So, who hit you?" I repeated.

Matt grimaced and looked away. "Patrick."

"Patrick?" we both exclaimed.

Matt solemnly nodded his head once.

"Why in God's name did he hit you?"

"I threatened to tell Mom what he was doing."

I pulled out a chair and sat down. "Sit, both of you." They sat with Pete's hand on Matt's neck. "Okay," I continued, "now Matt, start from the beginning and tell your whole story so we don't have to ask a hundred questions."

I watched Pete's thumb massage the back of Matt's neck as he talked to the tabletop telling us what Patrick had been doing.

"So… I took Farr's keys to this house, which hung on a hook in the kitchen, and came down here. I didn't think you guys or Granpa Pat would mind if I stayed here until I figure out what to do."

The coffee pot wheezed one last time, so I poured three mugs of coffee. I'd already set out the powdered creamer and sugar. I set the mugs in front of them and said, "Well, we do mind, Matt, and it really pisses me off that you didn't come directly to us for help."

"But… Patrick's your brother. I really didn't think you'd believe me."

"We believe you. Patrick is our brother and I do find it hard to even think of him doing this, but we do believe you."

"So what are you going to do? You aren't going to let me stay here, are you?"

"Hell no, we're not going to let you stay here. We're taking you home with us where we can protect you. We're going to call your mother and let her know you're safe. Then tomorrow morning we're going to have a conference with Dad, Rich, John and Farr about what to do about Patrick. That's what we're going to do. We'll see what happens after that. Whatever we do, it will be in your best interest."

Pete

I sat there and watched Dan take charge of the situation with young Matt. Dan's usually quiet and a bit retiring, but get his ire up - then he's 'the man in charge.' Need I say - I'm totally in love with him?

Carla

I had no idea when I might have dozed off. But my cell phone ringing brought me to a startled state of awareness. As I fumbled in my lap to find the damned noisy thing, I stretched my neck to get the kink out. I finally found it between the cushion and the chair arm. My heart was in my throat as every possible scenario went through my head. It was the police calling to tell me they'd found my baby on the side of the road, his motorcycle lying on top of him. Or… it was Mom and Dad in San Diego - he'd arrived safely. Or… it was some sinister stranger saying that he was holding my son hostage and wanted lots of money. It was Pete's voice that brought me back to reality, and it took me a moment to realize that he was telling me that Matt was safe with them. As relief swept over me, I whimpered and giggled at the same time. "Let me speak to my son, please," I begged.

"Hi, Mom, it's me."

Hearing his voice I almost lost it. "I-I love you Matthew O'Connor … more than anyone in the world. Why didn't you tell me what Patrick was doing?"

"I love you, Mom."

"Where have you been? Why is Pete only calling now? I've been sitting on the phone all night worried about you."

When Matt started crying I felt guilty. He's been such a good son trying to be the man of the house since his Dad had been killed. Dan came on the phone. "Carla, we'll probably be bringing Matt into town this afternoon. You can relax. He is safe. I promise, my brother won't be getting near him."

"Have you heard from Patrick?" I asked, then wondered why I cared.

"No, not a word. Listen, we're going to talk to Dad, Rich and the others to decide what to do about him. If you hear anything from him, call Dad immediately. Will you do that?"

"Yes. Of course I will."

"Good. Now get some rest and we'll see you sometime this afternoon."

"Thank you, Dan. I'm sorry that we aren't going to be in- laws now. I've come to love you Bailey boys."

"You'll always be family to us, Carla. We love you and Matt. You can always turn to us for anything. Don't ever forget that."

I closed the phone with a warm feeling in my middle - right next to the hollow achy one that Patrick left me. Strange how life can go from being damn near perfect to being in the trash can in just the blink of an eye. At least Matt was safe in the hands of the Bailey boys. I mentally blinked when I realized I was excluding Patrick from that thought. I wondered if I'd ever hear from him again, and if I did … what my reaction would be.