Matt

Since my dad was a career Marine, we moved around a lot when I was little. He was killed over in the Mideast when I was nine. The thing I most fondly remember about my dad was how much he loved me. When he was home, he wanted me with him as much as possible. First thing I'd hear after he kissed and hugged my mom was, "Where's my Matt? Com'ere, M'Boy, and give your dad a big hug."

I miss his hugs and sitting next to him with his arm around me while we'd watch TV together. Since my mom's a nurse, she sometimes worked odd hours. Dad always tried to be there for me when she wasn't. Of course, it didn't always work that way; I often had a sitter in those days.

Dad had been a big man like John. I quickly found out that John is even more into hugging and touching than my dad had been. That was just an added bonus to meeting and falling for Luke. I hadn't realized just how much I missed my dad's physical affection until the first time John pulled me into a hug. I really enjoyed it, even though it embarrassed the hell out of me. It took me a while to stop blushing the first few times he'd hug me, and it took even longer to relax enough to hug him back.

I'll never forget the first time I called John Dad. I didn't mean to - it just came out. I guess it was one of those Freud things. John looked at me in surprise, then smiled real big at me and in a real quiet voice, said, "I love you, too, Son." After that, I called him Dad almost as often as Luke did.

I once heard Farr say to him, "You're quite the man, Love, being a dad to our two young cubs." I don't think I was meant to hear that, and I guess I'll always wonder what John's reply was.

After Dad was killed, Mom moved back here to San Francisco where she grew up. When my grandparents retired and moved down to San Diego where it's warmer and not so damp, they gave Mom the house she grew up in. She continued working as a nurse, I was fourteen by then, so she felt I was old enough to take care of myself. She didn't know that I was aware that our next door neighbor kept an eye on me at her request. I let her continue thinking she had me fooled.

Miz Maxwell, our neighbor next door, was a neat old lady - kind of reminded me of my grandmother. She'd be waiting for me, rocking in the old glider/rocker on her front porch, and she'd invite me in for cookies and milk. It soon became a daily ritual and continued until I met Luke and started going over to his house a lot. Once in a while, Luke would meet me and we'd head over to my house. I had to introduce him to Miz Maxwell of course. I've always taken care to call Mom and let her know what I was doing if I didn't go home, and I'm certain that Miz Maxwell called her, too. It was okay with me. The way I looked at it was that she cared for me enough to do it.

Since I met Luke, and Mom's met John and Farr, my horizons have expanded a good bit. She's even gotten to the point of letting me spend most weekends with Luke. She loves Luke. She even told him that she would have adopted him if John and Farr hadn't beaten her to it. It's funny how he has her wrapped around his little finger.

Since Patrick and Mom have gotten serious about each other, I've been allowed to sleep over a lot during the week. John moved a big queen size bed into Luke's room (Luke insists that it is as much my room) so we can sleep together in the same bed. Even though it's been about six months since we met, Luke and I still haven't done more than kiss and cuddle and get each other off. Although he's let me suck him, Luke only masturbates me, which is really enough as long as he's okay with it. John and Farr sat us down the first time I slept over and explained that at our age we shouldn't do any more than what we are doing. "It's so much better if you both are sure of your feelings for each other - move into more serious stuff gradually." John explained.

Luke tries to act like his former life on the streets doesn't bother him, but I know it does. He's been getting better about it all since he started his weekly visits to the shrink though.

Luke is very intelligent. He can see that his former life has a strong grip on him still. It's clear that he feels guilty that he can't just let go completely and give himself to me. I believe he wants to, and I hope the day comes when he'll be able to. But until then, just loving him and snuggling with him, sucking him off and letting him masturbate me is enough.

It makes me angry that all those dirty, creepy old men took advantage of his situation and used him - fucked up his head. I just wish I could meet each one of them face to face.

I think it's really grand though, that at age seventeen, Luke is still comfortable curling up in my lap for a hug, or even John's. I think that John's hugs give him a bit of security that he still needs. I hope that someday it's my hugs that will give him that security.

Dr. Drew, Luke's school counselor, had suggested to Farr that seeing a psychiatrist would help Luke, and that I should join in some of the visits. I told Farr that I'd be willing to do anything to help my guy. Luke and I talk some about what he went through, but he doesn't really open up to me. He's too ashamed of the whole experience even though everyone in the family - especially John, Farr and I all tell him that he should be proud of the fact that he came through it - that it's not his fault that the world is full of creeps that do such terrible things to young boys.

While exploring on the Internet, I recently found a site that has lots - I mean thousands of stories on it. Most of the stories are cool, but this one section called Adult/Youth is really creepy. I can tell most of them are written by men like the ones that fucked up Luke's head. They make it sound like the boys want and need the sex that they force on them. It's really disgusting.

I know you're wondering why I kept reading in that section. I thought it might give me some insight on how to deal with Luke's hang-ups. It didn't though, and I finally quit.

I understand that they allow these awful stories because of the 'freedom of speech' thing, but I personally feel the men who write them should be prosecuted for advocating and promoting such shameful deeds.

When Mom and Patrick decided to get married, I was sure we'd be moving to San Jose where Patrick has been made a partner in his law firm. I was really upset and I guess I was acting up, as Mom puts it. She figured out what the matter was and quickly set me at ease. Patrick will be moving in with us, since Mom owns the big house we live in free and clear. Patrick says he would rather live up here anyway. Besides, it's only a forty-five minute commute most days.

I haven't decided whether I really like Patrick or not. In front of Mom, he's nice to me, even though he kind of ignores me most of the time. When I've been around him when Mom isn't, he acts like he doesn't like me. I wonder if it's because my presence cramps his style.

Will and Reece's wedding is just around the corner, and we'll all be headed down to Uncle Pete and Dan's. Mom and Patrick will be staying over at the old family home with Reece and her family. Pete's designated one of their guest rooms as strictly Luke's and mine. Pete and Dan really go out of their way to make us feel special and part of the Bailey family.

Luke asked me the other day if his Uncle Patrick was going to adopt me and if I was going to become a Bailey.

"First off," I told him, "there's been no discussion about it. Patrick hasn't shown any desire to make me his son. I'm nearly seventeen anyway, so what would it accomplish? Besides, I think it would be a disservice to the memory of my dad."

Up until Patrick got engaged to my mom, I'd been told to call him Uncle just like Luke does, but that sounds weird now. Although I've called John Dad, I don't think I could bring myself to call Patrick that, even if he will be my stepfather. Maybe I can skirt the issue by addressing him simply as Sir. He'd probably enjoy that. He's not said anything directly to me, but I get a definite feeling that he doesn't like me. Mom is like totally unaware of his animosity. Well, in a little over a year I'll be of age, off to college and away from him.

Luke

Will and Reece's wedding was coming up the week after school was out for the summer. I'd first met them when they came over from Berkley for dinner with my dads, GP and Rich.

I fell in love with Reece the moment I was introduced to her, and if I'd been older and straight I'd have definitely made a play for her. I like Will, too, but he's rather stodgy, if you know what I mean. He is a college professor after all. He likes me though, I can tell by the sparkle he gets in his eyes, even when he growls at me.

Dan and Pete are just the opposite of Will. They are always laughing and joking. I first met them back before my dads adopted me. They came into town just to meet me. That evening they kept teasing John that they were going to kidnap me and adopt me themselves. It was a good feeling, even if they didn't really mean it. They're much like GP and John - always touching me, squeezing my arms or neck, or messing up my hair.

It seemed that every time Pete sat down next to me he had hold of one of my knees. As my confidence grew, I eventually got up the courage to jokingly ask him if he had something going with my knees. He actually blushed and stuttered that he just liked touching me - that he didn't mean anything by it, except to show that I was one of the Bailey boys. I suppose that Farr had told him about my past and he took my joking question to mean that I thought he was making a pass at me, so he stopped. I wish that my past would just go away and leave me free to be me.

After I said that, he stopped touching me at all, until I told him that I liked it and I wished that he would continue showing his affection for me that way. It took him a bit for it to seem natural again. I would never tell him, but he's really my favorite uncle, mostly 'cause he's like a kid in a big body.

They came up to my birthday party and again for Matt's. When Farr introduced Matt to them as my boyfriend, Dan winked at me and grinned, while Pete made this crazy face like he was shocked, then grinned and congratulated us. These two uncles are as cool and loving as their dad and their brother Farr. For my birthday present they each gave me a $1,000 bank certificate towards my college education. The card was signed 'Dan and Pete'. Then they did the same thing for Matt on his birthday. I idly wondered if Uncle Patrick's engagement to Carla influenced their gift to Matt, then realized that they wouldn't have known about it before the day of the party. It's just so cool the way they accept Matt as a member of the Bailey family simply because he's my boyfriend.

Reece's mother and younger sister flew out the first of June to help with the planning… not like it wasn't already done by then. They stayed with us, along with Reece, until the weekend of the wedding, making several trips down to Dan and Pete's where the ceremony would be held.

I'll never figure out women. There aren't any in the Bailey family - well, until after the wedding. Soon as Matt's mom Carla heard about the wedding, and knowing there were no women in our family, she stepped in to help, along with Aunt Martha, that sweet crazy lady that works with Farr.

The five of them, Reece, her mother and sister, plus Carla and Aunt Martha, kind of took over our living room, laying all the plans. Then of course, the matron of honor got into the act. Our home wasn't the same until it was all over. Such a fuss over all the details, and to make it all crazier, they had to coordinate everything with Pete.

Soon as Uncle Pete got word of the upcoming wedding, he set the whole thing in motion. The big family home was opened up, aired and cleaned. Reece's family would be staying over there. GP and Rich, John and Farr, and Matt and I would be in three of the guest rooms in Pete and Dan's big rambling house. Will and Patrick were to share the other one, but Patrick didn't show up until just before the wedding, so Will had the room to himself. Matt's mom supposedly had stayed with Reece and her family because she showed up with them. Matt told me later that Patrick had spent the night over there, too.

Of course Carla had to fuss over Matt's and my clothes when we dressed for the ceremony - tugging sleeves, straightening ties and stuff. My dads bought us new suits. Matt was stunning, dressed up with a tie and all.

Since I'd started calling Carla Mom, I again wondered what to call Patrick once they're married. They set a date in late September. Gee, that's just three months away.

Pete

Friday, before the wedding on Saturday, the San Francisco contingency of the Bailey family showed up.

Will took Reece and her family over to the old Bailey homestead over in the middle of the valley before coming to our house. The old Bailey home is a big two-story clapboard house with a veranda across the front and a big lawn with a couple of big shade trees. No one's lived there since Dad moved to San Francisco to live with Rich, although the two of them often spend the weekend down here. We keep up the yard and gardens - or rather the men that worked for us do. I had a woman go in to clean and spruce up the place, so it was ready for the invasion.

I guess nobody had mentioned to the boys that Dan and I are lovers, but surely they'd wondered about us living together. They really looked shocked when they came out of the guest room and saw the two of us in an embrace… kissing. Luke just froze and Matt ran into him before he noticed us. Luke's yelp startled us, and I'm sure we both looked embarrassed as we grinned. All Luke could do was point from one of us to the other with raised eyebrows.

"I take it nobody has told you guys about us, huh?" I asked.

As much as Luke likes to talk - I mean like Matt calls him his little magpie for pity sake - he couldn't find his tongue. He just raised his eyebrows with a silly grin plastered on his face as he wordlessly shook his head. Matt seemed to be in the same state of shock Luke was in.

"Well, we've been together since we were younger than you," Dan informed them.

"But you're brothers," Matt stammered.

Dan kind of blushed, but I just grinned and said, "Yeah, we are. Does that really matter?"

Luke finally found his tongue and said, "Well, it's really none of our business."

"Since you were younger than us?" Matt asked. "How old were you?"

"Since we were babies we've always slept together, but I was fourteen when I started realizing that I felt more for Pete than just a brotherly love," Dan told them.

"It took me a couple of years longer to accept it and admit that I felt the same about Dan," I added.

"Wow," Matt exclaimed. Luke looked like he was still trying to process the whole thing. I couldn't help but notice that he had a growing bulge in the front of his tight little swimsuit. Our conversation in the hallway was interrupted by Will looking for Dan.

Luke

When Will appeared in the hallway, I suddenly became aware that I was showing my excitement in my skimpy little swimsuit and quickly stepped behind Matt, who was sensible and wearing a jockstrap under his surfer shorts. We headed for the pool in the backyard and horsed around in the water for a few minutes, but ended up lounging on one of the benches that surrounded the pool below water, talking about our new discovery.

I don't know what it is with the big guys in our family; John came out in a pair of baggy shorts like Matt's. He sat on the edge of the pool with his feet in the water next to me and asked, "What are you two so deep in conversation about?"

Matt just glanced up at him and blushed. Before I could say anything, Dad made an assumption. "Oh, why didn't I expect you two to be talking about sex?"

"Da-ad," I objected, trying to appear casual laying an arm across the front of my swimsuit. "Did you know that Uncle Pete and Dan are lovers?"

John looked at us with a blank expression. "Yeah, what about it? Didn't you guys know?"

"Not until we caught them kissing awhile ago."

John raised his eyebrows obviously surprised. Then he asked, "Does that upset you?"

No, it didn't upset me, but imagining those two big hunky farmers naked in bed really excited me. I'd had a hard on ever since seeing them kiss; and having had a hand on Matt's, I knew that he was in the same state, but I wasn't about to admit that to my dad, so I answered nonchalantly, "Not really."

By the smirk on his face I could tell he didn't really believe me. I was thankful that Matt took Dad's attention off me by asking, "What does it matter? They can't get pregnant and have deformed babies."

John laughed, "That's a fact."

"I think it's kind of neat," Matt added. "I've wondered about what it would be like to have a brother."

A slight frown fleeted across Dad's face. "I guess you'd have to take that up with Farr, Matt. I was an only child, too," he answered. He got up and wondered off, probably looking for my other dad.

Dan

Having grown up with Franky, excuse me - Farr, Luke's size just seemed a normal thing to us. Although it was a new experience having two teenagers in our home, I gotta say they do liven up the place. Matt is quite the polite young gentleman while Lukey is really a live wire.

Watching the two of them reminded me of Pete and me at their age, but we weren't at all like them. High school nearly did us in. I knew I loved Pete, but was unsure as to whether he felt the same way about me. That was a period of my life that I never want to relive, and I still sometimes wonder if we'll make it as a couple.

I get a kick of little Luke. He's so much like Franky… well, maybe a bit more of a smart-aleck than Franky was at his age. And Matt is just a big huggy bear of a kid. The way he tries to emulate John is amusing. It's so obvious that he worships John, but it's also obvious that John thinks the boy is really special. I have become a bit envious that Frank and John have actually adopted Luke and have the two boys in their lives.

Luke

Uncle Patrick showed up about half an hour before the ceremony. He stood to the side and looked kind of uncomfortable as he watched Matt talking with his mother. I watched Patrick as he hugged and greeted Carla. I could tell that they really love each other. According to Matt, for all intents and purposes, he'd moved in. That was why Matt was almost living with us these days. Patrick nodded at Matt, took Carla's elbow and led her away, leaving Matt looking lost. I moved in to give him a hug and distract him.

The wedding Saturday morning was simple and really cool. I could see Matt and me taking vows like that someday with our friends and family as witnesses. The pastor from the church Reece and Will attend in Berkley presided. Other than Will's best man and Reece's matron of honor there were no others involved in the ceremony, although there were a dozen or more of their mutual friends there.

For being such a macho farmer, Pete can be outrageous. Not faggy or fem - just over the top. Most wedding cakes have a proper bride and groom on top. The caterer that Pete hired brought out two cakes. I don't know where he came up with the figurines, but one had the groom reaching desperately toward the bride on the other one who was reaching just as desperately towards the groom. Both cakes were off balance leaning towards each other, too.

Pete got Reece and Will to pose behind the crazy cakes in the same pose, but with Reece's mom hanging on to her as though she was holding her back, and GP hanging onto Will the same way. There were lots of cameras flashing.

Once everyone had a good laugh, the two cakes, which turned out to be just mockups, were whisked away and a properly tiered cake with the standard bride and groom on top was brought out.

Sunday's society page in the local paper had a photo of them posed with the two cakes. The headline read: " William Bailey and Clarice Barrett Marry Over Parents' Protests." The article went on to explain the joke. The happily married couple didn't see the article until they returned from their Hawaiian honeymoon a week later. Pete had the newspaper page framed and gave it to them on their return.

After the reception, the newlyweds left on their honeymoon. Once all the guests had gone, we all changed out of our dressy clothes and prepared to head back to the city. As I started to leave our bedroom, I glanced out the window towards the pool in the back yard and saw Patrick talking to Matt. It didn't look friendly, so I decided that I would join them and find out what the problem was.

As soon as Patrick saw me approaching, he said something to Matt and headed around the side of the house. Matt stood there looking sullen and angry. As I stepped up to him, he pulled me against his body and just held onto me. When I asked him what was wrong, he just muttered, "Nothing, let's just forget about it." So I let it go, figuring he'd talk to me about it sooner or later.

It was a beautiful day, and we all wished that we'd come down on our bikes, but then we still had our dress clothes to haul back with us. Oh, well.