Frank

That Saturday, since John was working overtime on that big warehouse, I spent the first hour of the day sitting at my kitchen table staring out the window thinking about my mom. She'd been an only child of a young immigrant couple from Italy. My grandfather had worked as a farmhand while my grandmother worked as a maid for the wife of a wealthy farmer. They lived meagerly, saving every penny to buy a farm of their own.

My mother was twelve when they bought their first small farm. They continued to work for others while working their farm, and buying more land until they had enough to make a decent living just farming. I remember Mom telling how as a teenager she worked at her mother' side planting the little garlic sprouts along with the migrant workers.

She loved to tell how she met my dad. She was sixteen when Granddad came back from taking his John Deere tractor in to the local dealership to be serviced; he had a young man riding on the hitch while hanging onto the back of the seat. He was kind of scruffy and his clothes were worn Mom said that the moment she saw Pat Bailey, she fell in love with him, but her dad told the young man right in front of her that she was not for him, and that he was to leave her alone.

She rode a school bus every morning and afternoon. If Pat was in sight, she would always wave to him. Granddad would scold the boy for responding. He wanted Grandmom to serve the boy's meals on the back porch, but she would hear nothing of it. The boy joined them at the table for every meal, where he and Mom could converse under Granddad's strict eye.

Granddad became very fond of the hard working young Irishman, and eventually relaxed his ban on Dad paying attention to Mom. At the age of nineteen, two and a half years after Granddad brought him home; Dad bought his first little farm. He asked Granddad for Mom's hand. Mom liked to tell how Granddad turned to her and asked, "You want to be a farmer's wife? You want to marry this bum?"

"Yes, Daddy," she replied, "and I want to bear his sons." So Dad and Mom got married, and Dad moved into my grandparent's house with Mom. Since he was now part of the family, Granddad made a deal with Dad. They would join their farms and work them together. Mom did what she wanted to do; she started bearing him sons. Both of my grandparents, within months of each other, died the year I was nine.

I spent the rest of the day organizing things that I thought I'd eventually take over to John's. That evening I took an arm load of clothes over. I was under the mistaken impression that I'd move into John's slowly, a little at a time. You know, let him get used to me.... gradually.

Nuh ugh. No way. Sunday morning John had me up at the break of dawn. He made a big pot of coffee, fixed a huge breakfast.... enough for at least six men his size, and had me set the table for five. Still half asleep, I did as I was told and didn't ask why; the guys had all been over for breakfast before on a Sunday morning, so I wasn't really surprised when Rafe and Tommy showed up, followed a few minutes later by Rich.

After everyone had finished breakfast, John said, "Okay, here's how we will do this. Rich you help Farr with all his clothes and things in the bedroom. But first, Farr, you and I need to discuss what to take and what to leave - furniture wise. Between our three pickups we shouldn't have to make more than one trip each."

He'd rented a stack of moving blankets and bought a bunch of boxes. While he and I went through the house discussing furniture, our three friends taped boxes.

Of course my queen size bed wouldn't be replacing John's king, but since it was fairly new, he wanted it in the guest room in place of the regular size bed he had there. My bedroom furniture wasn't a matched set. I'd picked up a bedside table at a flea market, a head board from a yard sale, etc. I insisted on keeping a chest of drawers that I'd found in an antique store over in Oakland. It was a trim Art Deco piece that would fit in with John's bedroom furniture and there was room for it, so it would go with me.

John liked my wooden kitchen table and chairs more than his fifty's chrome set, so we would exchange them. The rest of the furniture, since it was scaled to the house, we decided to leave. John went through my kitchen utensils and selected what would compliment what he already had. I had a set of modern Japanese china with a clean Art Deco design that he really liked. I was glad he did, because I had planned on packing and storing it if he didn't. All my personal stuff in the house was packed into boxes, then loaded into a pickup and carried over to the basement in John's house. I made the offer to the guys that they could have anything left, because on Monday I was calling the Vets to come take it all away.

The day went by quickly with only a quick break for burgers, fries and Cokes. By the time we had everything moved in and placed, I was pooped. John wanted to take the guys out to dinner as thanks for their help, but everyone was just as tired as me, so they begged off, and we promised them some other night.

We ate a light meal of cold cereal and toasted English muffins, showered together and crawled in bed, too tired to do more than a little kissing. As I snuggled up against John, I realized that I hadn't thought of my mother all day. When I mentioned it to John, his arm tightened around my chest as he whispered, "Mission accomplished."

John

My buddies have all told me at one time or another that I'm just a big softy. I suppose my feelings about Farr have proven them right. Well, that's okay with me, I wouldn't change what I feel about the little guy, even if I could. After I got over my need to protect him, and realized that he was self-sufficient in that, as well as everything else in his life, I began to see him for what he really is. My admiration for him equals my love for him. I'm constantly amazed that he loves me, and that he lets me...a big ol' lunk like me...love him. It thrills me to no end when he snuggles up against me. This gallant little warrior, who's ready to take on the world, simply awes me.

I'm sure he thought I was being a wuss the way I went about asking him to live with me, but I was certain that his need for independence and self sufficiency would outweigh his desire to make a life together. But he forced me to ask him right out. I wonder if he realized how desperate I was feeling, and how relieved I was when he said 'yes.'

I wasn't going to give him a chance to reconsider. I called my three buddies in to help move him. Again, I was surprised that he quietly accepted and didn't object.

It amazes me how our sense of humor runs in the same vein. While we were loading things into Rich's pickup, I jokingly told Farr, "You know that I asked you to live with me just so I could get my hands on this kitchen table and chairs."

Farr's eye's got big and his lip trembled, as he said, "Gee, John, I'll sell it to you, just to keep you from having to make such a huge sacrifice."

I guess Rich didn't catch the twinkle in Farr's eyes. "He's just kidding, Farr," he said, giving Farr's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "The man's got a sick sense of humor."

Farr's expression was incredulous as he looked from Rich back to me. "How about, I just give the set to you for free? That way I won't have to live with you."

"I thought you wanted to move in with John," Rich said, before I could come up with a reply. His voice was full of disbelief.

Farr got a 'poor helpless little me' expression on his face, his lower lip trembled, and his eyes started to look like he might cry, then in a tremulous voice, he said, "He's already requisitioned poor Spike. So, I have to go... to take care of my cat."

Rich glared at me. I gave up trying to suppress my laugh. Rich looked at Farr who wasn't through yanking his chain. "See? He thinks it's funny taking my poor little kitty away from me." Then Farr looked at me, attempting to keep up the hurt look, but the mirth in his eyes gave him away. Rich finally caught on that we were both yanking his chain.

"You two deserve each other," he disgustedly said, and started to walk away. Farr grabbed him around the waist and laid his head on his chest. "We're sorry, Rich. It was just too good to let go."

Still chuckling, I walked over to Rich, gave him a hug, then knelt and took my Farr into my arms, gave him a big kiss and said, "I love you so much, Babe."

"You two perverts definitely deserve each other," Rich groused, then chuckled.

Farr

Monday morning I was back in the shop re-threading all the nipples on another French chandelier that I'd taken apart so I could replace the French sockets with American. It's a time consuming, complicated process because the brass casing on the French socket has to be kept, since it is threaded on the outside for a screw-on ring that holds the molded glass coupes in place. Fortunately, the American socket will fit inside of this casing once it is emptied of it original contents. As I worked, I wondered how many people were aware of this and if any of them actually cared. Of course, the person buying the chandelier would be properly impressed by the time I got through explaining it all to them.

The day passed without me being aware of it. When I finished the fixture, I called John and asked him to tell Andy and Joe to come by and hang it at their convenience. He was pleased that I wasn't trying to do it myself. I could have done it by myself by removing all the glass and then reinstalling it after it was hung. It's lots of work, and 'I ain't dumb'; I know a good thing when it's offered to me.

We'd decided to leave Spike at my house until after Mom's funeral, since we'd be in Gilroy for two days. I had a long standing agreement with my next door neighbors who had two cats and a dog. Anytime I was away, they'd feed Spike, and I did the same for their pets when they were away. I was sure I'd miss that arrangement once I moved him to John's. Still, I went by to feed him and hold him in my lap for a bit every morning and evening.

Andy and Joe came by to hang the big French chandelier Tuesday morning before they went to work for John, so I had to be up early to open the store for them. John insisted on going with me and after they finished, he took us out for breakfast. During breakfast, I discovered that the two fellows had been together for about four years, and were planning on buying a house in the near future. I hadn't decided what to do with my house, so I didn't say anything about it, but John told them if I decided to sell, he'd see that they'd get first dibs on it if they were interested.

I'd thought about keeping the house as a rental, but after considering the hassles of being a landlord, I decided to sell it; and told John to set up a time after the funeral for them to look at it. Since I hadn't gotten rid of the furniture, I figured I'd give them whatever they wanted to keep and call the Salvation Army to come get the rest.

We both planned a short work day because we were leaving for Gilroy a couple of hours before sundown. That would give most of the evening rush time to disperse before we headed down the 101, and it would still be light when we arrived.

The plans were for us to stay with Dan and Pete while Patrick and Will, along with Reese, would stay at Dad's. Rich, Rafe and Tommy had said they'd be at the funeral. I just assumed they'd go down Wednesday morning and head back after the funeral. No one bothered to correct my assumption.

When we arrived at Dan and Pete's that evening, the three of them, Rich, Rafe and Tommy, plus my dad and my brothers Patrick and Will, were already there. Furthermore, they were all in the pool....naked! Even Dad!

It took a bit of cajoling to get me to join in, but I wasn't about to let John, who had already stripped, one-up me, so I quickly ended up naked, too. I'd seen Dan, Pete and Will naked once in a while growing up, but not Patrick, and certainly not Dad. I knew that John had been intimate with Rich, Rafe and Tommy, but I hadn't even seen one of them without a shirt. On top of that, I felt like everyone was curious to see me without any clothes. I mentally sighed in relief knowing that I was at least as well hung as John, and three of my brothers. As the evening progressed, I discovered that only Rich and Tommy were a bit bigger than the rest of us.

John

I suppose that the reason everyone was subdued in the pool was because Dad and Farr's two straight brothers were present. Pete teased Farr a bit about being shy, but everyone else just quietly watched as we undressed. I felt that everyone's eyes were on me, but that was dispelled as we walked toward the pool after disrobing, Patrick broke the silence by saying, "Damn, Frank, I just always assumed that you would be hung in proportion to the rest of your body."

Then Pete said, "No wonder John committed to be your partner."

"Peter, that comment is uncalled for," Dad quietly said.

Pete's over thirty, but Dad had still called him on being out of line with that comment. My respect for Dad grew even more.

He and Rich were sitting on the far edge of the pool quietly talking. Will and Tommy were in the pool hanging onto the edge talking to Rafe and Patrick who were sitting between them. Pete and Dan, being our hosts were tending to drinks and preparing the grill.

I went to the shallow end and waded in up to my chest, while Farr stepped up on the diving platform, did an out of practice double gainer and managed to splash everyone. He was in his element. Watching him dart around through the water, I swore that he was part seal.

Patrick slid off the edge into the pool and came over to talk to me. We got into a conversation about legal liability in my line of work. We were standing in the middle of the pool about three feet apart when Patrick yelped as Farr swam between his legs and came up between us.

I naturally wrapped my arms around Farr and without thinking, kissed his wet nose. Farr wrapped his arms around my neck, his legs around my middle and grinned at his brother. I moved him to my hip, supported him with one arm and continued what I was saying... except the look on Patrick's face made me lose my train of thought. "What?" I asked.

Patrick shook his head. "You two are just....you're just so natural. It's beautiful to see... the love between you two. You've got to tell me how you met."

I'd been sure he was going to say something derogatory and was ready to take umbrage. His loving words took the wind out of my sail. "It's getting a little chilly since the sun has set. Let's dry off and get dressed, then we'll tell you," I said.

Frank

I suppose it might have been John's way of moving me into his house... I mean our house... his total commitment to me... to us... that made me so at ease with him. I've always been so conscious of size differences, and the way that people relate to it. A week ago, I'd never have let John settle me on his hip and hold me like a child, even in private - and definitely not in front of anybody, especially my brothers.

All our lives growing up, I'd insisted that I be treated as if I was as big as they were. Now, here I was, at the age of twenty-six, perched on his hip with his hand on my butt, holding me against him. It was just a natural thing to do. However, as I thought about it, I knew that it would never happen in any situation outside of our family and close friends.

John

As we were dressing, Dan started taking orders for how we liked our steaks cooked. Pete had set up a fantastic spread of 'man' food. Baked potatoes with everything one could want on them, broccoli in a spicy cheddar cheese sauce, and a creamy curried cole slaw made with roasted whole peanuts and finely chopped hot chutney. They offered a hearty red wine, a locally brewed ale and Cokes.

They'd set up a large round table that was big enough to seat all ten of us. Farr sat between Patrick and me. Will sat next to Patrick, then Rafe and Tommy with Pete and Dan next to them. Dad sat next to Dan with Rich between him and me.

The conversations started more or less like they had in the pool, but it all centered on us when Farr laughed at my attempt to tell Patrick about how we met.

"Yeah, John kept insisting that he wasn't into mini men," he said, loud enough to get everyone's attention.

From there on, it was center stage for our story. Rich had to interject his bit about forcing me to face my problem with Farr. I was thoroughly touched to learn of Rich and Rafe's concern for me, and how they both warned Farr to handle me with care. It was Will that ended our story by telling about following Reese into our bedroom, and how we declared our partnership.

The evening came to an end with Dad standing to get everyone's attention. "Sons and friends, I believe that tonight Alice is laughing and enjoying our little get together as much as we have laughed and enjoyed it. I miss my dearest friend and wife. I suppose I'll spend the rest of my life missing her. We have all mourned her passing. Tomorrow we will celebrate her life and lay her body to rest.

"Our lives will go on, but we won't forget how she's touched our lives. John has told me that even the brief moment he got to spend with Alice touched him in a way that he'll always remember. As we go to sleep tonight, let's each remember all the wonderful moments we shared with her, my loving wife and best friend, your loving mother. Rich, Tommy and Rafe, you never got to meet her, but we're thankful to you for being here to offer us your love and support."

After Dad's speech we all helped clean up. Will and Patrick hugged us all and left together. Rafe and Tommy said good night and disappeared into one of the guestrooms, leaving Dad and Rich, Farr, his two brothers and I sitting in the living room. Dad eventually stood and stretched. "Goodnight, boys, it time for me to hit the sack. He hugged each of us and said, "Come along, Rich. We'll see you boys for breakfast."

Rich said, "Good night, y'all," and followed Dad out the door.

The four of us looked at each other with raised eyebrows. "Get your minds out of the bedroom. It is not what you're imagining," Dan said.

"But what if it is?" Pete asked.

"It's not," Dan answered in a voice that wasn't to be argued with.

Farr and I, at that point, said goodnight and headed to bed. Once the door was closed, I repeated Pete's question, "But what if it is?"

"It's not." Farr said, "but if it is.....well, I don't want to think about it."

Frank

At eight Wednesday morning, we six somberly dressed gay men headed across the valley to Dad's... to the home we Bailey boys had grown up in. Patrick and Will were sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee when we arrived. Will got up and poured us each a cup. Patrick looked around and asked, "Where's Rich?"

Rafe and Tommy looked surprised. "I must be still half asleep. I didn't even miss him. Do you suppose he's still asleep?"

Pete said, "Rich is here. This is where he slept last night."

Patrick and Will looked at each other and shrugged. We brothers all knew that there five bedrooms in the house.

"I was in bed asleep by the time Dad came home. I didn't know he brought Rich home with him," Pat said.

"Reese and I were, too," Will added.

My straight brothers looked like nothing was out of the norm, while the rest of us were discretely exchanging glances when Rich walked into the kitchen. He was dressed in a dark brown suit; his black tie that sharply contrasted with his white shirt was his only concession to any color but brown.

He said, "Good morning," walked over to the coffee pot, poured two cups and walked back out. We all exchanged more questioning glances, which Will and Patrick picked up on. Will looked disgusted and said, "Oh, for Christ's sake, stop it."

Pete tried to look innocent. "What?" he asked.

"Stop it, Pete. It's clear what your dirty little mind is imagining."

"I told him last night that this is 'Dad' he's perving about." Dan injected.

Pete shrugged. "It just looks suspicious."

Dad chose that moment to walk in with an empty cup, which he filled, then looked around at us. If he heard the conversation, he was definitely not going to give it any credence. "You are all looking good this morning," he said.

Reese appeared at Will's side. He kissed her cheek as she smiled at us and said, "Good morning." She turned to Dad and gave him a big hug and a kiss on his cheek. We could tell by the expression on Dad's face that he'd finally gotten the daughter he'd always wanted. He smiled at her and Will, and then brought himself back to the moment.

"We haven't discussed how the ceremony will be conducted this morning. The good Father will lead us in a prayer, and then open the floor for anyone who wishes to tell of their remembrances of Alice. He will close with another prayer. Patrick, Frank and I will lead while you three" he pointed at Pete, Dan and Will, "and John will carry her casket out to the hearse."

I looked up at John to see tears fill his eyes. I squeezed his big hand and simply nodded. Dad in his loving way was telling us that John was part of this family, too.

"Reese will follow the casket. And you three men," he looked at Tommy, Rafe and Rich, "may follow behind her. Alice had no family except us. Let's put on a good show for her."

John

I was moved that Dad wanted me to be a pall bearer with his sons. I could see his reasoning. Farr is so small he'd have looked ridiculous with his brothers. And having his oldest, along with his youngest, walking out with him left no room for Farr to object.

Later, I asked Farr how he felt about it. He replied, "I was relieved in part. I wanted to have the honor of carrying my mother's casket along with my brothers, but that would have been silly. Dad's hand on my shoulder, with Patrick on his other side as we walked out of the church removed any resentment I may have had. I love him so much."

"Your dad is the greatest. You are so lucky, Babe."

"He's now your dad, too, John," Farr told me. "He's adopted you, as well as accepted you as his son-in-law."

I'm thirty-two, but to suddenly have a man I've come to love and respect accept me as his son moved me to tears. I've often wondered if my mother had really married a man to father me, I suspect that she'd been inseminated and lied about having been married. Maybe I was the bastard she was always calling me in those years I was growing up. I guess it never meant enough for me to search out the truth. It would have hurt either way.

I never saw so much food in my life as what the ladies of that little valley brought to the Bailey home after the funeral. For nearly four hours that house was filled with friends and neighbors. I was awed to be accepted as part of the family. Farr and I got many well-wishes on our future together. I reasoned that this is California, and we're very near San Francisco, but still... this is a small farming community.

As the evening ground to a slow stop, I was again astounded at how little of the food was left.

Life quickly got back in the groove. I was relieved that big warehouse job was completed. In all my years of working with electricity, I've never been so frightened by it as when I saw that two-twenty line flipping around like a headless snake, sparking every time the end of it touched something. I privately gave Jimmy a five hundred dollar bonus for thinking and moving so fast. The rest of us had just stood and watched, ready to run.