Jim had been sitting in a chair by Papa Joe's bed for hours, holding the elderly man's hand as he slept. For the last four days Jim had not left Papa's bedside except to catch short naps and a quick shower while one of the family members, usually Angie, took his place. The old man's sudden decline had started several days ago when he decided to shower by himself early one morning, before Jim showed up. He'd slipped, badly bruising his fragile body and knocking himself out. Jim had found him lying on the cold hard tile groaning.

Although Papa had soon regained consciousness in the hospital... he'd continued to decline. Since the doctors could do no more than keep him comfortable, he'd insisted that he wanted to die in his own bed; they'd consented. At first, his doctor had insisted on a registered nurse staying with him, but again, the old man with his son's backing, won out, refusing to accept anyone except Jim. But a registered nurse had to come in twice a day to check on him and administer his meds.


As Jim contemplated the three years he'd been with Papa, he wondered what he was going to do with his life once he was gone. There was no way that he could get back into nursing. No, he'd closed that door quite firmly.

But now he had Arlen in his life. Arlen. Just the thought of him filled Jim with a warm safe feeling he'd never experienced before... not even with Jake. It was a good feeling. 'Damn, I need to talk to him. Never thought I'd need anyone.' Jim chuckled to himself. 'Papa showed me I was wrong on that. Can't believe it, me feeling needy... who'd a thought? Arlen, my young lover. I do love him. Gotta call him.'

Angie walked quietly into the room and whispered, "How's he doing, Jim?"

Jim felt the old man's hand tighten on his and he glanced at him instead of at Angie. A weak smile and a flutter of his eyelids let Jim know that he was awake.

"I'm hanging on by a few strands, Love."

"You're not in pain are you, Papa?"

"No, Angie, but I think it's time to call everyone in."

Angie took his other hand. "We're going to miss you, Dad."

Papa Joe smiled at his daughter-in-law and weakly squeezed her hand. She was the only one that ever called him Dad, and being his only daughter-in-law that made the name special. "Make this young fellow take a break. He's been sitting here for hours," he murmured.


Jim rubbed the hand he held. "That's because I love you, Papa." The memory of the first time he'd ever said it made him smile. Papa had been at him to shed the protective armor around his heart and admit that he'd loved Jake. It had taken a lot of cajoling but he finally had, and in the euphoria of conceding, he'd told Papa that he loved him. The old man had sputtered, "I don't believe I've ever had a man, other than my son and grandsons, tell me that. But you've become another son to me, Jim. I love you, too. From that day on Jim felt he'd finally found a father.

Angie smoothed the already neat covers and patted Jim's shoulder as she came up behind him. "Let me go make a few calls, then I'll relieve you for a spell."

"Take your time, Angie. I'm not going anywhere."

After she left, Papa was quiet for a bit, then he tightened his grip on Jim's hand getting his attention. "I want to talk to you, Boy, before the family starts showing up." His voice was whispery, airy.

"About what, Papa?"

"About you. I'm worried about you, Son. What're you planning on doing after I'm gone?"

"I'm not sure, Papa."

"As much as you like your ol' motorcycle, and are always tinkering with it, I think you should think along that line. Have you thought of a shop? Maybe fixing them up and selling them?"

"That's not a bad idea, Papa."

"Setting it all up and getting started will keep you busy while Arlen is finishing his degree. You'll have enough money to do whatever you decide. My son will help you with more financing if you need it. Don't hesitate to ask, if you need it."

"I won't, Papa." The lump in Jim's throat made it difficult to continue, but he strangled out, "You know I'm going to miss you, Old Man."

The grip on Jim's hand tightened and the old man smiled. "I've enjoyed our time together, Jim."

"Me too, Papa, me too."

Silence filled the room as the old man closed his eyes and relaxed. After a bit, Jim's thoughts turned again to his lover. They hadn't really talked much about their future other than saying they wanted to still be together on down the road. It was time they started making plans since Arlen had only a few weeks left before he received his B.A. He'd commented about maybe going to Columbia to work on his Master's, but that had been a year or so ago. He hadn't discussed it with Jim recently.

Papa Joe tightened his hold on Jim's hand again.

"Can I do something for you, Papa?"

"Prop me up, Jim, one of my grandsons is coming."

Jim carefully raised the old man's fragile body and placed several big fluffy pillows behind him before he carefully laid him back on them, and straightened the covers. He wondered if the old fellow was delusional - imagining things. But when Joe and Dave entered the room, Jim figured that Papa's hearing must have become acute. He greeted them, then moved away from the bed and sat down across the room to give them some privacy. A few moments later Johnny came in by himself. After Johnny had greeted his grandfather with a gentle hug and a kiss on his cheek he moved back and let Joe sit down by Papa. He held his hand and they conversed with him in quiet voices.

It wasn't long before the soon-to-be-wed Eve and her fiancé David Brown came in, followed by Angie. At that point, Jim excused himself and stepped outside where he greeted Miki and Rence as they approached the house. He wandered into the gazebo beside the little cottage that Papa Joe had lived in for many years.

He sat back and thought about the last three years with Papa Joe. Other than the upset involving Jake and the loss of his right to practice nursing, his recent life had been rather good. Even though Papa tended at times to be a bit taciturn, they had taken a liking to each other from the moment they met, and the old man had stuck by him through the mess he'd made of his career. Some days he even felt that Joe Sr. and Angie had adopted him as their son, the way they'd taken him under their wing with the patriarch's guidance. Yeah, he was lucky when he thought about it.

Jim raised a hand in salutation to Tim as he trotted down the driveway to the cottage. Spying Jim, he stopped to visit with him for a moment before going in to join Johnny in paying their last respects.

Moments later Jim nodded to Joe Sr. and watched him rush into his father's little cottage, and then got up to follow him back in. From the doorway, Jim watched the family step back to give their father space next to the bed. He couldn't hear what was being said between the two men, but the grip Papa had on his son's hand indicated that it was emotional. Joe Sr. turned and looked back at Jim, then motioned for him to approach the bed.

"What can I do for him?" Jim asked, looking from Papa to Joe Sr. and back.

"I'm fine, Boy. Stop worrying so much."

"Jim, Dad tells me that he expects me to help you in whatever endeavor you chose when he's gone. I just want Dad to hear me promise that I will. And I want you to promise that you won't hesitate to tell me what you need. The family appreciates how you've taken care of him."

Papa Joe, looking peaceful, lay with his eyes closed. Watching to see that Papa's chest rose and fell, Jim's emotions nearly choked him. Papa opened his eyes, seeing Jim's worried expression, smiled and winked at him. Jim looked at the man across the bed and said, "Papa's been more a father to me than my ol' man ever was. It has been a privilege to be his companion. I'll always be grateful to you for letting me stay with him."

Joe Sr. laughed. "Like he gave us a choice. But we are glad that we did."

"Me, too, Son," Papa Joe said.

They were interrupted by Joseph bursting into the room followed by Max, Lena and Lex. Seeing the room full, Joseph halted, then walked quickly to Papa's bedside. Max moved across the room to stand next to his older brother David who lay an arm around his shoulders. Joe Sr. laid a hand on Joseph's shoulder and gave him a squeeze, then gathered Lena and Lex to his side and hugged them.

Joseph ignored the difference in how his grandfather treated him and his younger siblings, and took his great-grandfather's hand. "How're you doing, Papa?" he asked.

Papa had watched how his son had greeted his three grandchildren, and mentally grimaced; he'd commented on the difference before and he knew that Angie had harangued him for it, still.... He turned his attention to Joseph, took his hand and said, "Don't worry about me, Joseph. Max come over here." He took Max's hand in his other hand. "I want you boys to promise me that you'll always be gentle with each other."

"You know we will, Papa, we're soul mates, you know," Joseph said. He was nearly sixteen.

The elderly man chuckled. "Yes, I know."

"We love you, Papa. We're going to miss you."

"I'll be watching over you boys, so you better be good."

"We will be, Papa," Max assured him.

Jim backed away from the bed and let Lena and Lexy move up to the bed at their grandfather's urging. Lena and Lexy kissed their great grandfather on his cheek and said they loved him, then backed away and fled the room.

Jim sidled to the back of the room. He couldn't see or hear what was said after that until Joe Sr. loudly cleared his throat and said. "Dad wants you each to kiss him goodbye. We're fortunate for the long years he has shared with us. Smile and be happy."

Jim watched with tears blurring his vision as each of the Paolini family stepped up to kiss the elderly man's cheek and whisper good-bye. Joe Sr. and his wife Angie were the last. Angie, with an arm around her husband, led him out of the little cottage and into the main house.

Jim quietly pushed off the wall and stepped up to the bed.

Papa opened his eyes and smiled up at him. "You're well loved, Papa."

"Yes, I have a beautiful family."

Jim just smiled.

"I'm glad you're part of it, Son."

Jim grimaced. "Me, too, Papa. I love you, Old Man. I sure am going to miss you."

Papa Joe took Jim's hand. His eyes closed and he relaxed into the pillows.

"Do you want the pillows removed, Papa?"

"Just let me sleep, Jim."

Jim turned off the light, sat down beside him and just held the old man's hand.


Jim startled awake. It took him a moment to figure what was wrong. He glanced at the clock. It read 2:37 a.m. He opened his cell phone and pressed the 3. When it was picked up on the other end, Jim said, "He....he's... Papa's gone, Sir."

Less than ten minutes later Joe Sr. stepped into the cottage to find Jim holding Papa's hand with his head lying on his arms. He walked up behind him and laid a hand on Jim's shoulder. "You did good, Son," he said.

Jim raised his head and looked up at him and smiled through his tears. He started to reply, but his voice broke and he ended up stifling a sob. Joe Sr. rubbed Jim's neck, then left his hand resting on his shoulder as they waited for the doctor to arrive.


Joe Sr. contacted Jim the day after Papa's demise to ask him to be a pallbearer.

"Thank you for the honor, Joe, but wouldn't it be more appropriate to ask David Brown, since he's going to soon be your son-in-law?"

"At the moment, Jim, you're more a part of this family than David. And I think that this is something that Papa would want."

"Put that way, I can't refuse. Thank you."

"To ease your conscience, Jim, I personally will explain to David why I asked you. I'm certain that he'll agree with the choice."

"Thank you, again, Joe."


Jim had always thought that he was above grieving over someone dying. He'd never been close to anyone in his own family and when his father died he'd just shrugged it off, saying, "That's life." But so much had happened to him to change his emotional makeup in the last three years; Jake walking out on him, and the subsequent fiasco of trying to seduce him with a little white pill, (he still couldn't bring himself to admit that it had been rape, even after Jake's revenge) and Jake's adverse reaction to it. The loss of his nurse's license had brought him down even more.


He often wondered what would have happened if it hadn't been for his attachment to Papa Joe. His life would surely have gone to hell if the old man hadn't insisted that he stay as his companion... and then meeting Arlen. All the other crap that had happened to him had only prepared him for meeting Arlen. It had peeled away his armor and allowed him to let Arlen into his heart.

He'd loved Jake, but there was no way he could ever have admitted it at the time. It wasn't until he'd spent many hours talking with Papa that he had finally been able to admit it. But thanks to Papa, he now had Arlen in his life. Damn, he was going to miss the old man.