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Brian sat at the desk in the lobby of the Tower feeling drowsy. He'd studied until his eyelids started drooping. He stood, stretched, then walked around the lobby to wake himself up. He glanced up at the clock built into the Marble wall behind him. The two foot long minute hand was nearly in the center of the Roman numeral III and the shorter hour hand pointed just to the right of the VI. He calculated that Mr. Paolini and Mr. Gates would be coming out of the elevator in about two minutes. They were always punctual for their morning run.

He heard the quiet whine of the Eyrie elevator descending and returned to the desk and glanced at the close-circuit TV monitors to see his employers dressed for running, smiling up at the camera above their head. On the screen to the right, he noticed a motorcycle carrying two big men pull into the garage and park near the door to the lobby.

All four men entered almost simultaneously. Brian greeted Joe and Dave as the elevator opened and then turned to wave with a big smile at Charley and his partner. He thought Charley was a super cool guy.

Brian noted that Charley had his shoulder holster strapped around his chest over his t-shirt. To hide it, he wore a sweatshirt that had the arms cut out and slit to the waist band. He'd heard about Jake, but hadn't seen him before. Jake didn't look like he was quite awake as he walked right into Dave's arms and gave him a big hug. Brian thought, 'God, the man is one hunky huggy bear.'

"You guys are nuts. It's uncivilized to be up this early," Jake groused as Brian watched Dave turn to give Charley a hug.

"You'll get used to it, Jake." Joe gave Jake a welcoming hug. "Eventually, you will find you crave it." Joe said as he turned and gave Charley a hug.

Dave had leaned against the desk to retie his left shoe. Jake, still somewhat somnolent, waited for him. The young guard had watched in awe as the four men had greeted each other. "Excuse me, Sir," he said to Dave. "Do you guys always show so much affection for each other?"

Dave raised his head and looked at him. He still had his ankle across his right knee. The look of young tender innocent interest caught Dave off guard. "Yeah, we do," he said.

"It's so cool. Even Mr. Hanson hugs. And he's straight."

Dave blinked and Jake woke up a little more.

"Does all this hugging bother you?" Dave asked.

"Oh, no Sir. I envy y'all. Y'all are just so awesome."

"What's your name?" Dave asked.

Brian didn't have a name tag on. His hand flew up to cover the spot on his shirt where it should be. "Oh shit," he said, and then turned a dark red having realized he'd just cursed in front of his employer. "I'm sorry. The pin broke." He pulled it out of his pocket and held it out to show Dave. "My name is Brian. Brian Henderson, Sir."

"Where are you from, Brian?"

"Abilene, Texas, Sir."

Joe stuck his head back through the door. "Come on you two, the sun is coming up."

Dave waved a hand at him and Jake started toward the door. Dave turned back to the desk. "How late are you on the desk this morning?"

"I'm here until seven."

"Good. I'll stop and talk some more."

"That would be cool, Sir. I apologize for cursing."

Dave grinned at him. "Hey, shit happens," he said, and ran out the door to catch up with the others.

Brian sighed as he watched the four men jog across the street, run down the University concourse and out of sight. He thought about the camaraderie that he once shared with his high school buddies back in Abilene. He'd have lost it all if he'd stayed. His dad would have seen to that. He shrugged. It didn't matter; he was never going back again anyway. Most of the time he'd gotten himself past the bitterness, but every once in a while, like now, something brought it back. He sighed again, drained the last of his coffee out of his Thermos into the cup/cap took a sip and stuck his head back into his Chemistry book, but his thoughts were not on studying.

Brian hadn't sought sexual release with another man since the day that his dad had caught him and the two brothers that lived on the ranch across the freeway. It was their mother that had gotten his mother interested in the 'Born Again' church in Abilene. She had taken him that first time and that was where he'd gotten to know the brothers. The father was the ranch manager for the absentee owner. He spoiled his two boys giving them everything they wanted. Their mother paid little attention to the two teens except for requiring them to attend church with her on Sunday. The older boy caught Brian in the church restroom and introduced him to a blowjob. That was when he was only fourteen. After that, the three boys had done a lot of 'playing around' when ever they could.

Then came that fateful day four years later. The three of them had gone swimming naked in one of the big water tanks out in the middle of the ranch. They'd been so involved in a daisy chain, sucking each other, that they didn't hear Brian's dad approach on horseback.

His dad had cursed the two brothers, calling them all kinds of names including hypocritical Christian perverts. The two boys were told to get into their pickup and get the hell off his ranch and not show their faces there again. Brian had watched them gather there clothes, jump into their pickup butt-naked and leave in a trail of dust. His dad had then looked at Brian with disgust and told him to put his damned clothes on. Not another word had he said. He'd simply turned his horse and rode away. Leaving Brian to walk back to the ranch house. He missed supper, but his mother had made him a sandwich which he'd eaten with a cold glass of milk. His dad had been out, but that night Brian lay in bed he heard his dad come home and harangue his mother about that holy-roller church and their hypocritical members. He heard him call the two brother's father a twisted pervert. Brian cringed when he heard his father yell that he would not let his son be turned into a damned queer. He'd strained to hear more but the bedroom door had slammed shutting off the rest of whatever his dad had to say.

Brian decided the thing to do was to get out before all that hateful anger had a chance to be turned on him. He filled a duffle with all the clothes he could, packed a suitcase with other things he wished to keep, then sat down and wrote a note to his parents, apologizing for being such a disappointment, thanking them for being the good parents they were and then saying he was out of their lives.

At three in the morning, he slipped out of the house, put his duffle and suitcase on the floorboard of his new Dodge Ram pickup that his dad had given him for graduation, then pushed it down the driveway to the cattle guard before jumping in and starting it.

By seven o'clock he was in the outskirts of Dallas. He pulled off the freeway at a truck stop and had breakfast. He used their facilities to shower and change his clothes, then headed into downtown to a bank where he transferred all his savings, his trust fund that his maternal grandfather had set up for him when he was born and the college fund that had recently been turned over to him since was set to start college in a couple of months in College Station over near Austin next month.

After he'd finished with the bank he drove to the north side of the city, found a Motel 6 and rented a room. Once in the room, he collapsed on the bed and let himself unwind... unravel was more like it. He considered what might have happened if he stuck around and decided that he'd made the right decision. Brian had never heard his dad say a thing about gays - derogatory or otherwise. And even though he'd had no idea how his dad would react, the withering look that his dad had given him without saying anything except to get dress and the terrible things he'd heard him say to his mother, had been enough to send Brian running.

He'd applied to several universities around the Midwest, mostly in Texas, but he really wanted to see more of the world. Even though he had been born and raised in Texas, he wanted to get away from it and its hypocritical attitudes. His dad had insisted on A&M, but since the University in UniCity had also accepted his application, he decided to go there. Especially, since they espoused a non prejudice environment. It would be good to live where he was accepted for himself.

It took two and a half days to get there. Once he'd registered, he looked around for a job. Between his college fund, the fund his grandfather had set aside to be given him on his eighteenth birthday and the inheritance his grandmother had left him, he had more than enough to be a full time student and not have to work, but he was more comfortable working and supporting himself. The money his grandmother had left him could be earning interest.

One morning he was having a breakfast sandwich and a coffee in the bookstore - it was fast becoming one of his favorite spots - when he overheard a hunky fellow student talking about having worked as a desk guard in the Tower. Quickly he finished his sandwich, swallowed the last of his coffee and hightailed it over to the Tower. He got an immediate appointment with Mr. Hanson who was in charge of security, and an hour he later had a job.

It was through his new job that he learned about the apartment for rent in a nearby complex. Later when he met Charley, he learned that the apartment had been Jake's. One day he hoped to get to talk to Jake about the apartment. He'd spent the first night in one of the bedrooms. There was something about that room that disturbed him and gave him nightmares. The next day he moved his bed into the other one.

As he sat behind the desk watching the world outside brighten, he wondered for the ten thousandth time what his parents reaction had been on discovering him gone. He imagined his father saying, "Good riddance." And his mother weeping a bit... more out of having to explain to her religious peers that he'd just disappeared than missing him. Still, in the back of his mind, he had a niggling little hope that they did miss him. But he knew that they'd never miss him as much as his grandmother would have... if she'd still been alive. But then if she'd been alive, he'd never have left.

He glanced out the window and saw the four men jogging back up the concourse. As they crossed the street, he mentally drooled over the four hunky men. Dave was the shortest and he presumed the oldest, but Brian found him to be the most desirable. The other three were sexy men - just as sexy as Dave - but there was something about Dave that simply got to him. He thought of an expression his grandmother often used, yeah, Dave 'warmed the cockles of his heart'.

Charley and Jake stopped on the grass on the far side of the portico to do their stretches while Dave and Joe walked over by the door to do theirs. As Brian watched, he saw a big black Buick pull into the portico. A man jumped out and grabbed Joe around the neck. He had a gun pointed at Dave. Brian immediately called 911. As he held the phone to his ear waiting for someone to answer on the other end, he noticed that Charley had his gun pointed at the kidnapper and then he saw Joe slump. He thought for a moment that Joe had been shot, and then as he heard a shot, the glass wall separating him from the outside was covered in spatters of blood. Brian almost dropped the phone as a disembodied voice said, "If this is not an emergency, please hang up."

It brought Brian back to his senses. "Yes, emergency. This is Brian Henderson at the guard desk in the Tower Condominium. There has been an attempted kidnapping at gunpoint. Mr. Gate's personal bodyguard just shot the kidnapper. I think that's what happened." He moved to peer out through an unspattered part of the glass. "Yes. Mr. Paolini is safe. The kidnapper is on the ground and the bodyguard has removed the driver from the car. Mr. Gates is covered in blood... he may have been injured... but he's still standing."

As he talked, he heard the sirens approaching and when he saw three black and whites pull up, he hung up the phone and walked to the door to watch. It was a beehive of activity for several minutes, then Dave and Joe headed up to the Eyrie, stopping to thank Brian for his quick action. A few minutes later Jake came in and collapsed in a lounge chair. The Police were still questioning Charley.

After the police left, Brian watched Charley shuffle over to a concrete bench and collapse. He looked totally defeated. He wondered what it would feel like to kill a man, then prayed he'd never have to find out. After a few minutes when Charley didn't move, Brian walked over and nudged Jake. "I think that man out there needs you, Sir." He pointed out the window at Charley.

Jake sat up, rubbing his eyes. "How long has he been sitting there?"

"The cops left about ten minutes ago. I thought he'd come inside and wake you himself, but he just sits there staring at the ground."

"Thanks, Brian." Jake said, rising and going out to sit beside his lover.

Brian watched Jake talking to an unresponsive Charley for several minutes before Charley straightened up, then stood.

They entered the Lobby and Jake asked Brian to let the Eyrie know they were coming up. Once they were in the elevator, Brian watched Charley collapse onto Jake. He didn't start the elevator until he saw that Charley had pulled himself together and nod with a slight smile at the camera.

Fifteen minutes later Paul Hanson, Brian's boss and Chief of Security for the Tower, came in. He already had a full report of the incident in his hand. He asked Brian how he was holding up, patted him on the back and told him it was a job well done. Brian basked in the praise.

Mr. Hanson had gone up to the Eyrie; Brian knew he was a close friend to the men up there as well as their chief protector. He thought about the camaraderie between all the men that surrounded Dave and Joe and wished that he was a part of it.

'Someday,' he told himself. "Someday I'll have friends like that."

It was about half an hour before his shift was over that Brian was standing at the window watching a maintenance crew scrubbing down the driveway and washing the windows that a man walked up to the door and held up his ID badge. Brian opened the door and let him in.

Roger parked his '56 Chevy on a side street and walked over to the Tower. He didn't like parking next to other cars. His paint job had cost too much to let some careless ass nick his doors. He'd just returned from a family emergency in Montana. As he strode up the street he thought about his first tumultuous weeks working for Paul Hanson. He laughed to himself. Wouldn't his dad turn over in his grave if he knew he was working as a bodyguard for a gay man.

He'd had a difficult time himself in the beginning. Sure, on his application he'd stated that he had no prejudice against homos, but that was a known necessity to get hired by any law enforcement agency these days.

When he'd interviewed for the job, he'd had no idea what he was getting into. When Paul Hansen had asked him how he felt about working for a gay man, he'd answered that it didn't matter to him what a man's sexual preference was. It didn't infringe on his own sexuality. And when he'd met Dave, he couldn't believe that it was him that Paul was referring to. Then he'd thought that Paul was pulling his leg when he'd been introduced to Joe and been told that Joe was Dave's partner. After he'd digested that, he'd met Johnny and no mention of sexual orientation had been made. He'd felt relieved that there was another straight guy working with him.

He had assumed that Joe and Johnny were identical twins. He'd heard that many times one of a set of twins would be gay. And then along came Tim and upset the cart when he informed Roger that Johnny was his lover and two years younger than Joe. "God, maybe it is catching," he said under his breath as he thought about it. And Charley! He was an ex-cop, too. That had really thrown him. He looked like a Marine. 'Who would ever have thought that he was a'....Roger corrected himself before he thought it.... 'gay man, too.'

He wondered if Charley had forgotten about their postponed dinner date. Even though there was no one around, he blushed as he thought about it. 'Shit,' he thought, 'it'd be just two guys going out to dinner. Nothing more.' Being seen in public with Charley was something he'd be proud of. Hell, everyone would think the same thing that he had when he met him.

As he approached the Tower he saw a couple of men scrubbing down the driveway and another washing the big lobby windows. As he walked past them, he noticed that the water was red. 'Damn what happened here?' he wondered. He flashed his ID badge at the young desk guard standing at the window watching the cleanup crew. He trotted over to let him in.

"You're new here. I'm Roger Fowler. I'd just started here when my dad had a heart attack and I had to go home to see him."

"How's he doing?"

Roger looked away. "He died." He glanced at Brian. The look of compassion broke down his defenses and he found himself telling this young stranger what had happened.

"He was alert and seeming to be okay when I got there. The doctor said he was stabilized. But he had a massive coronary in the middle of the night and died." Roger shrugged and shook his head.

"That's tough, Man. I wish I could relieve your pain," Brian said.

Hearing that from a stranger and the sincerity in Brian's voice got to Roger. He glanced at him and said, "Thanks," turned and headed back toward the security office before he totally lost it.

He went into the Men's room, stood at the wash basin and stared into the mirror. "What the fuck got into you? Blabbering like a girl to that kid." He washed his face with cold water. Noting his bloodshot eyes, he took a paper towel, soaked it in cold water and compressed it against his eyes. After a few seconds he looked at himself again. They didn't look quite as red. He combed his hair, straightened his clothes and headed into the office to see Paul.

He jokingly asked Paul if he was hiring high school kids as desk guards.

"You're referring to Brian? He's twenty-one despite his baby face. Kind of reminds me of Tim... just an overgrown kid."

"Nice kid." Roger responded thinking about how the kid had shown such concern for him.

Roger's comment surprised Paul. He had, up until then, always given the impression of being a redneck ruffian.

After getting his schedule and visiting a bit more with Paul, Roger walked back out into the front lobby to find that Brian had just gotten off duty and was waiting for him. "Have you had breakfast?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, about three hours ago."

"Ready for lunch?"

The delight Brian showed when he said, "No, but I'd like a cup of coffee." made Roger feel warm and fuzzy, although he would never have admitted that he felt that way, much less would he have described himself ever feeling that way. Roger couldn't help but be impressed by how open, up front and eager Brian was."You have a place in mind?" he asked.

"How about that coffee place in the bookstore down the street. They have a breakfast sandwich and great coffee."

"Mr. Gates's bookstore. You buyin'?" He knew that the men who worked for Dave's security were never charged for coffee at the bookstore.

"Sure."

"Let's go then." Roger said heading out the door.

Brian trotted to catch up. "Dave owns that place? I didn't realize that. I mean, I knew it's the Gates-Way bookstore, but not that Dave is that Gates,"

"Yup, I hear tell that he used to work in there everyday until his partner died and left him a big fortune."

"His partner was rich and made Dave work in the bookstore?"

Roger shrugged, not connecting partner with lover as Brian had.

"That's eccentric. Weird." Brian exclaimed. Roger momentarily wondered why Brian thought it weird, but thought no more about it.

Minutes later they were sitting at a small sidewalk table away from the students that populated most of the place. Roger was hunched over his mug, staring into the depths of it. This bright eager young fellow sitting across from him was stirring up feelings he thought he'd successfully squashed. He hadn't added any cream or sugar to his coffee, but he slowly stirred it with a swizzle stick. The action seemed to center his thoughts. Brian took a bite of his sausage and egg sandwich and watched Roger stir while he chewed. He took a sip of his coffee and leaned toward Roger, grinning. "Stir and stir, bubble and brew," he murmured.

Roger looked up at him. "I was just thinking of all the stuff I've been through in the last couple of weeks." He lied. His thoughts had been totally on Brian and wishing he could be so open and free as Brian appeared to be.

"Bad, was it?"

Roger nodded. "Yeah, real bad. I don't think I'll ever go back there."

Brian didn't say anything, refusing to think about his own home situation. He continued to eat his sandwich and watch Roger. Finally, Brian asked him if he wanted to talk about it. "I'm a good listener," he added.

Roger studied Brian's open face for a moment, tried to smile at him and failed. He dropped his stare back into his mug from which he hadn't yet taken a drink. Turning his thoughts to what Brian had just said, he decided that maybe opening up to him might ease the pain. "My dad and I always fought. He blamed me for my mother's death," he said, stirring his coffee. Brian finished off his sandwich, washed it down with another swig of his coffee, then leaned forward with his elbows on the table and watched Roger stare into his mug and stir the black brew. "Hell, he was the one that killed her," Roger continued. "She was forty-six when he got her pregnant with me. She'd already given the bastard seven kids. What did he need one more for?"

"Aren't you kinda glad he did though, being it was you?" Brian quietly asked.

Roger looked up, not really seeing him or paying attention to the question. "I never knew my mama, but I'd have given my life for a chance to know her."

Brian's eyes misted. He grimaced at the heart-felt pain, and thought about his mother who only seemed to care about her church and God.

"I thought that seeing the old bastard on his death bed, he might have a kind word for me." Roger sighed. "All he said to me was, 'Came back to make sure I die, did you? Well, I probably won't disappoint you.' He died that night. I was glad he was finally gone, the miserable ol' bastard... but I was sad, too. I mean, even though he hated me, he was my father." Roger paused and drank half the contents of the mug. Brian didn't move as he waited for Roger to continue. "My older brothers and sisters all seemed to take my ol' man's attitude.

"Only my youngest sister, Jan, she's five years older'n me, was the only one that was the least bit understanding. I was always her little baby. She and I are the only ones that moved away. She lives up in Chicago. Married to a good man. She's going to school to be a lawyer. The only one of us to make something of herself." He picked up his mug, drained it and set it down with a clunk. "Enough." He shook himself as if shedding a heavy cloak. "So what about you, Brian. Where you from?"

Brian raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Abilene, Texas."

"I thought that was a Texas drawl. So why are you so far from home?"

"I came here to go to school."

"Why here?"

Brian shrugged. "It's as good as any place."

"And a place your parents wouldn't think of looking for you." Roger added.

"Fuck. How would you know that?"

"I left home when I was sixteen. Maybe not for the same reason you did, but I didn't want to be found either. Not that the ol' bastard would have looked for me."

Roger felt like someone was watching him, he glanced toward the coffee shop door and saw Sue Morrow standing there watching him and Brian. He'd been introduced to her right after he started working for Dave. He caught her eyes, she smiled at him and then turned back into the store. Roger turned back to Brian. "So why did you leave home?" he asked.

"Private reasons."

Roger studied him a moment, feeling slightly hurt. He'd opened up to Brian and Brian refused to open up to him. 'But then, he thought, 'maybe it was just that Brian wasn't ready to talk about himself.' "I can respect that," he said. "Want some more coffee?"

"Sure." Brian started to get up.

"Sit still, I'll get it." Roger said, putting a hand on Brian's shoulder as he got up.

Brian watched him walk away and couldn't help but take note of his muscular back side and his sexy masculine walk. He wondered if Roger could be gay.

As Roger was getting the coffee he saw Sue and nodded to her. She smiled at him again. A moment later, he saw Brian looking at him as he walked back toward the table and noted how he quickly turned away to keep from staring. He found Brian to be very attractive, wondered whether he could be queer like everyone else around here seemed to be. It didn't matter, he liked the kid anyway. Roger pushed Brian's mug across the table to him as he sat down. "So where do you live?"

"You know Jake and Charley?" Brian asked.

"I've met Charley. I'll be working with him." Roger recalled the gaff he'd made with Charley that first day on the job.

"Well, I rented Jake's old apartment. Where are you living?"

"A cheap little motel over on Lincoln Ave. I just got back and I didn't have a chance to find a place before I left."

"The apartment has two bedrooms. I was going to advertize for another student to rent it. You could rent it or just stay with me until you find a place. Save the money."

Roger thought a moment. He'd already decided that there was a good possibility that the kid was queer. But he again told himself that didn't matter. He'd been around queer guys before. They didn't bother him. "Sure. If I can pay half the rent."

"If you looking to just stay until you find your own place the rents already paid."

Roger shrugged. "That's the only way I can do it. Half, or no deal." He was thinking he'd try it, and if he liked living with another guy he'd stay and rent it. He was having a difficult time keeping the niggling little thoughts that he'd so successfully closed off from breaking free. He didn't want to deal with them right now... if ever.

Brian shrugged back. "Cool." He pulled his key ring out of his pocket and took off the spare key to the apartment. "I'd been meaning to find a place to hide this in case I locked myself out," he said handing the key to Roger.

"So, how much is the rent?"

"Seven fifty a month."

"Damn, I'd be paying a hell of a lot more than that if I stayed in that motel a month."

"Yeah, well, Three seventy-five doesn't include clean sheets and towels daily, either."

Roger grinned at him. "You mean you're not going to make my bed for me?"

"Fuck you. I'm not a maid."

Roger bit his tongue to keep from making a risque reply. He just grinned, shrugged and said, "Can't blame a guy for trying." He immediately blushed. He'd never flirted with another guy before.

Brian thought about making the bed after Roger had slept in it, leaving his distinct scent in it. He blushed and turned away, again saying, "Fuck you."

Roger found himself thinking Brian was cute when he blushed. He wondered what it would be like fucking Brian. He'd fucked a couple of guys before. He'd liked it, but forced himself to not think about it because he didn't want to think about how queer it was. And he didn't want to be queer, so he blamed it on having had too much to drink. His father, for no reason other than to be mean, used to call him a pansy assed little faggot. He'd always hated that. In the years he'd lived at home, he'd never done anything to make the old man think he might be queer. He put the thought out of his head. "You want to help me get my stuff?" he asked.

"You have a lot?"

"More than I can carry in two arm loads."

"Let's go get my car then. It's at the apartment just across the campus."

Roger laughed. "Brian, mine is sitting right over there."

"You mean that red and white '56 Chevy? That's a cool car."

Roger thrilled. He enjoyed having Brian's approval, even if it was only about his car.

As Roger drove to the motel, Brian told him about the mornings events. "That Charley is awesome. I was just standing there behind the desk, when this guy jumped out of the car and grabbed Joe around the neck. I froze for a second, then I called the police. At first, I thought that Joe was hurt because his knees buckled. But then I realized he did it on purpose to make it difficult for the kidnapper to move him. But Charley was so fast, the man was dead before anyone knew what happened. Man, he put that bullet right through his forehead. When all that blood hit the window it shook me up. Poor Dave was standing behind Joe and got spattered, too. He had to have been horrified to get covered in blood and bits of brain and bone."

Roger was wondering for the hundredth time why he'd lied to Charley about being in the service. He hated remembering those three years. But now he remembered the time he'd looked up from his sandy foxhole to see a young Iraqi, no more than a kid, with an automatic rifle pointed at his buddy. Roger had reacted so quickly that the kid was falling into the hole with them before his buddy realized how close he'd come to dying himself. It had taken Roger months, with a lot of counseling, to get over the fact that he'd killed the kid. He wondered if he could ever tell anyone about it.

Wednesday was a warm afternoon and Brian was through with his classes for the day. He put on a Speedo and lay on a big towel out on the deck, just enjoying the fresh air as he read for his Lit 1 class. With I-pod buds stuck in his ears listening to classical music, he didn't hear Roger come in.

Roger walked in and called out for Brian, getting no answer, he assumed that he wasn't home. He went into his bedroom and stripped down to his tighty-whities, then wandered into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the fridge. With his hand in his drawers playing with his balls, he wandered over to the sliding glass door that looked out on the private little deck and froze when he saw Brian lying on the other side of the glass. Brian was on his stomach, his elbows supporting his upper body. His legs bent at the knees with his feet in the air, he was keeping time to the music with his toes. The movement was making his glutes dance in a most intriguing way.

Two weeks of living with Brian hadn't prepared him for this. He stared at the round firm butt tightly contained in the skimpy blue Lycra. His eyes roamed up the strong smooth muscular back and down the long sinewy hairy legs. His hand was still in his Jockeys, but it no longer cuddled his balls, it was wrapped firmly around his hard pulsing cock.

Brian sensed that he was being watched and looked around. The glaring reflection on the sliding glass door prevented him from seeing into the apartment. Subconsciously, he assumed no one was there and went back to reading. Roger moved away from the glass and went back to his bedroom where he jacked off imagining what Brian's ass looked like without that bit of stretchy blue fabric covering it.

He cleaned himself up, got dressed while feeling guilty for what he'd just done. Good God, he'd just gotten his rocks off over another man. 'It was Brian's fault,' he thought to himself, 'he shouldn't lie around in those skimpy little swim suits. Damn, he was just too sexy dressed like that.' He quietly left the apartment.

He ended up at the bookstore café with a cup of black coffee. He noted that he'd chosen to sit at the table he'd sat at with Brian last Sunday. 'What the fuck? Why would I pay any attention to something like that? That's just too faggy.' He stirred his black coffee, and the image of Brian smiling at his little eccentric habit came to mind. "Stir and stir, Bubble and brew," Roger mumbled and smiled to himself.

Realizing that he was daydreaming about Brian's sweet smile, he berated himself again. The image of his ol' man calling him foul names and beating him swept the thoughts of Brian from his mind. Roger's anger boiled up. At first it was aimed at Brian for making him have these thoughts that his father would've tried to beat out of him. And then the anger turned toward his father for making him feel guilty for feelings that came natural to him. He found himself actually being thankful the bastard had died. His frown deepened and he stirred his coffee with more vigor.

Sue Morrow didn't miss much of what went on in the bookstore and café. Since Dave had left her the store to manage, she was even more thorough on keeping up with everything.

She stepped out onto the sidewalk to check how things were there. Jake was sitting by himself reading. She'd been long aware of his custom. He glanced up, seeing her, he waved and went back to his book. She saw Roger hunched over a mug deep in thought as he stirred his coffee. Dave had introduced him to her a few weeks ago and she'd noted then that Roger didn't put additives in his coffee, yet he stirred it continuously.

She had seen him here about a week ago with another young man in a Tower guard's uniform. Being an astute observer of others, she recalled Roger's warring expressions that day as he talked with the young man. She casually strolled through the tables, picked up a used cup and some soiled napkins and deposited them at the cleaning station as she wended her way over to Roger's table.

She stopped in front of him. "Good Morning. Roger, isn't it?" she asked, knowing it was. She never forgot a name.

Roger looked up and smiled. "Hello, Miz Morrow."

"Oh my, please call me Sue like everyone else does. Miz Morrow makes me feel ancient. Do you mind if I sit a moment and rest my weary feet?"

Roger jumped up. "Please do," he said and held the chair for her. "Would you like me to get you a cup of coffee?"

"Thank you, no. I drink way too much, working in this place."

Roger sat back down, picked up his swizzle and fiddled with it.

"You were very deep in thought. Did I interrupt something?"

"No. Actually I'm glad you did."

"Ah, it must have been something very serious."

Roger started feeling wary and simply shrugged.

"An affair of the heart?" Sue asked with a flirtatious smile.

Roger blushed and commenced stirring his coffee.

"Did you know that I've worked for Dave since the day he and Bill opened this bookstore? We were just out of college. Dave and Bill were so in love. And that love was just as strong the day Bill died."

Roger raised his eyes from his coffee and studied her. Sue didn't give the impression that she ever said anything idle. He wondered what she was telling him. And then he remembered catching her watching him when he'd come here with Brian last week... she had smiled at him. He'd not thought anything of it, until now.

"I've not met the young man yet that you were here with last week. What is his name?"

Roger considered playing like he didn't know who she was talking about and then decided, 'What the hell, no one around here cares.' "Brian. Brian Henderson."

"He certainly is a handsome young man. Paul tells me that he is going to school here."

Roger knew that his boss was seriously dating Sue, so he knew who the Paul was that she'd so casually mentioned. That implied that she already knew Brian's name and was just trying to draw him out. That aggravated him. "So did my boss also tell you that we have the same address?"

Sue realized that he was onto her and grinned. "Fast work. Congratulations."

"Ma'am, I think you're jumping to conclusions. Brian and I only share an apartment."

Sue looked properly embarrassed. "Oh, I'm sorry, Roger. I... I....

"Assumed."

Looking chastised, Sue nodded,.

Something inside Roger snapped into place, or maybe it fell away, letting Roger see the truth of his feelings and he gave in to the urge to tell it to this warm caring woman. "You obviously saw how I feel when I looked at Brian. And if I have my way, your assumptions will be true." He lost himself in thought for a moment and then jumped up and grabbed Sue in a hug and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Ma'am, for helping me see what I need to do." He let her go and headed back across the campus leaving a bemused Sue holding her cheek, calling good luck to him.

He had a difficult time with the key opening the door. His epiphany while talking to Sue had left him in a high state of excitement. He was eager to get inside and tell Brian how he felt.

He got the door unlocked and burst into the room, startling Brian who had just entered the room from the opposite side with his book and towel in hand. They both froze. Roger's eyes roamed over Brian's smooth young body. This embarrassed Brian and he unconsciously moved his towel to cover his front.

Roger shook his head. "God, you are beautiful."

The words broke Brian's enthrallment, and he blushed from his head to his toes as he moved toward his bedroom.

"Please?" Roger begged.

Brian turned. "What?"

"Please, don't go," he whispered.

"Your acting weird, Roger. What's going on?"

Roger moved toward him. "I...I... I find you very attractive, Brian. I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Why are you talking like this? You're freaking me out. You're straight, Roger."

"No, don't you see? I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Stop messing with me. I need to get dressed." Brian ran into his bedroom and slammed the door closed.

Stunned that Brian had fled, Roger scolded himself while he regrouped his thoughts. In his excitement, he'd never stopped to think of how Brian might accept his announcement. How could he have just assumed that Brian would be all over him when he'd announce his feelings. He'd been posing as a straight man, even making snide remarks of the guys he knew to be gay, so why would he think that Brian would instantly see that he wasn't straight ? Why would he simply accept Roger's feeling for him? Roger leaned against the wall and sighed. Stupid, that's what he was. Simply stupid. Now he'd probably scared Brian off and he'd want him to move out. The thought of not being near Brian wrenched at him.

Brian stood in the middle of the floor turning this way and that, trying to make sense of what was happening. 'Why would Roger look at me like that? There's nothing feminine about me. Is there?' He studied himself in the mirror. As he looked at his body, the words that Roger has said moments ago echoed in his mind. "God, you are beautiful." He frowned and looked more critically at himself. He had a good body, well developed muscles, a flat belly, but no washboard, some chest hair and a trail going from his navel to the top of his Speedo. There was more hair on his arms and legs. He could see nothing girly about his looks at all. And he knew he didn't act or talk the least bit girly. Roger must have slipped a cog. He turned away from the mirror, slipped the Speedo off and put on his Levi's. When he was fully dressed, he faced the door and wondered what to say to Roger when he went back out there.

Roger heard Brian's door open and fled into the kitchen. Nervous, he decided to sit at the dinette table. Brian walked into the kitchen, stopping when he saw Roger. He thought about bolting out the front door. Roger's voice stopped him. "Brian, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Well, at least not without building up to it. Would you sit down and talk to me?"

Brian didn't move as he eyed Roger with suspicion. "So what gives, Roger? Are you straight or gay? Why are you playing with me?"

Roger held his gaze. He sighed, "I'm....I'm....not playing. I'm serious..... very serious." He looked away and then down at his hands resting on the table before saying, "I'm queer as a three dollar bill."

That announcement angered Brian. He'd pigeon-holed Roger under "Do not touch - Straight Man." And here was Roger saying that he's gay and attracted to him. Now, he had to change his thinking about Roger. His mind refused to make the shift. Roger was... had to be, straight and just playing with him. "You're queer? That means strange, odd, abnormal, unnatural, or bizarre, freakish. Is that what you are?"

Roger stared. "You know that's not what I mean."

"Then say what you mean."

Brian's response was pissing him off. He glanced out the window. He grew up playing this word game with his sister. He looked back at Brian with a frown. "Well, I'm not happy, joyous, or jubilant. Nor am I ecstatic, exuberant, or exultant. So I must not be gay. But I am attracted to you." He cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Okay?"

Brian frowned as he pulled out a chair and sat down across from him. Roger was getting more and more out of character. "I didn't know you were so fluent in the English language," he growled. "And what do you mean, you're attracted to me? I'm not a pussy."

Roger ignored that last sentence, which really turned his blood cold, and chose to respond only to the first sentence. "I know how to use a dictionary," he growled.

Brian couldn't resist another jab. "And you can remember three and four syllable words."

Roger grinned. "Fuck you."

Roger's smile did something to him. Brian tried to keep the smile off his own face. "You didn't answer my question." He sounded petulant to his own ears.

Roger leaned forward and stared intently into Brian's eyes. "I want to look into your baby blues while I make love to you." Brian wasn't ready for that tactic. It bewildered him. If he could have, he'd have blushed even more than he already was. "You are so beautiful, Brian."

Brian wanted to retreat, run from what Roger was making him feel. He wiped his straw-blonde hair off his forehead. He was losing this game fast. "Guys aren't beautiful," he whispered, trying to get control of his voice. His Texas drawl had intensified, 'guys' became two syllables, as did 'aren't', and 'beautiful' four.

"Okay, you're most handsome and good-looking." Roger grinned. "I really like looking at you."

Brian capitulated. He ducked his head and shyly looked up at Roger. "I like looking at you, too. I love your beard. But you're not really gay... are you?"

Roger ignored the question. "I love listening to you talk. There is something so romantic about your cowboy accent."

Brian frowned. "Stop sayin' those thangs. I wish you'd stop makin' me blush."

"But you're so cute when you blush." Roger mimicked the way Brian put a long hard 'u' in blush.

"Ah shucks. That's what my mama was always tellin' me."

" Well, your mama told the truth."

"Well, you don't have to go sayin' it. 'Specially if you don't mean it."

"Okay, but you know it now anyway. And I do mean it."

Brian eyed Roger a moment and then studied the table top as he drew little circles with his finger. And then he looked back up at Roger. "Did you really mean what you said a while ago, when you first came in?" He looked back down.

"You mean about falling in love with you?"

"Yeah, that."

"Yes, I did."

"So you're not straight. It wus just an act. "

An hour ago it would have killed Roger to admit he was gay, but trying to convince Brian of his feelings made it easy. "No, I'm not."

"So when will you know for sure?" Brian asked and drew more circles.

"I know for sure right now that I am not straight, Brian. And you're the first person I'm admitting it to."

"No, about what you said before, that you're fallin' for me."

"Right about now."

Brian looked up. "You mean that."

"More than anything I've ever said."

"That's good," Brian said, rising from his chair and moving around the table to stand behind Roger. He ran his hand down the side of Roger's face, coursing his fingers through the dark red beard. He wondered at the difference between the rich brown hair on his head and his beard. "'Cause I want to believe you. I'm crazy about you. Have been from that first day when you told me about your dad. And if you turn out to be straight and are just pulling my leg... well... I don't know what I'll do."

Roger grasped his hand and kissed it. "I'm not pulling your leg, Brian. Why didn't you say something, if you felt that way about me?"

Brian pulled his hand away. "With you havin' a reputation for saying derogatory thangs about gay guys, I'm going to tell you how I was feelin'? No way, Jose."

Dropping his hands back to the table top, Roger said, "I'm ashamed of myself for trying to hide behind that kind of bullshit, sounding like my dad. Probably didn't fool anybody."

"You had me fooled. But I wanted to be your friend anyway." Brian slid his hands down Roger's chest, ending up with his chin resting on the top of his head.

"Why?" Roger asked, as he tilted his head back, slid his hand up Brian's arm until he reached his neck and pulled him down to kiss him. A minute later he broke the kiss and looked into Brian's eyes. "Why did you want to be my friend?"

"'Cause I was figurin' you were just puttin' up a tough front."

"Pretty astute for a kid from Texas." Roger pulled Brian around and down onto his lap.

"Hey, don't mess with Texas." Brian laughed. He felt silly sitting on another man's lap.

"Now what the fuck does that mean?

"I don't know. I just saw it on a dumb-ass bumper sticker."

Roger laughed. "That's just what I thought." He grasped the back of Brian's head and pulled him into another kiss.

Brian wrapped his arms around Roger, got involved in kissing him back and forgot about feeling silly.

It took Roger a while to fully realize that his father was dead and buried. He'd spent the last twenty-six years trying to be who he thought his father would love. It had taken him a long time to realize that his father would never love him. But it didn't matter anymore, and he certainly didn't give a rat's ass what his older siblings thought, he'd never see any of them again anyway. He was free of their shackling attitudes.

He found it easy... natural... to fall into the role of being a gay man. Not that it was that different from straight. It was just a matter of losing some of the straight attitudes he'd espoused. When those attitudes fell away, he accepted himself and the fact that he'd fallen in love with his beautiful young Brian.

So when Dave asked Roger to attend a barbeque/intervention for Charley^*, Roger didn't hesitate to ask him if it would be appropriate to ask Jake if he could bring his boyfriend; he thought nothing of how Dave would react to this request, just as he hadn't considered Brian's reaction.

But the ever observant Dave didn't drop a beat. He'd noticed the covert looks that Roger made around other men and had decided that Roger was in the closet. Still he was surprised at the way Roger was coming out to him. "Well, I don't think Jake would have any objections, but does your 'boyfriend' know what's going on? This is going to be an intervention, not just a barbeque."

"Well, he saw the whole incident and was the one to call the police. He told me that after the police left, he woke Jake and told him to go out and talk to Charley."

There was silence on Dave's end for a few moments. He'd just been thrown a double whammy. Roger hadn't only just admitted to being gay, he'd just told Dave who his boyfriend was and outed him, too. "You're talking about Brian Henderson?"

"Yes, Sir."

Dave noted a sound of loving pride in Roger's voice.

"Oh..... Well...... Yes...... Definitely call Jake. Do you have his cell number?"

Jake hadn't even thought of including the young guard who had witnessed the whole kidnap fiasco and was surprised when Roger asked him if he could bring Brian. As he considered it, he recalled Brian waking him and telling him his man needed him. "Of course...by all means bring Brian with you," he answered.

"Charley doesn't know this, Jake, but Brian and I are together."

"You mean like... you're lovers?"

Roger paused to think about Brian being his lover before answering. "Yeah, lovers." He could feel himself blush even though the conversation was over the phone.

"Congratulations. Charley will be surprised."

Charley was surprised to see Roger enter his backyard the afternoon of the barbeque with his hand possessively placed on Brian's shoulder. Jake had forgotten to tell him about the two. He hostilely glared at Roger as they approached him.

But Roger ignored Charley's hostility, smiled and thanked him for his hospitality. "You've met Brian, I believe."

Charley glared up at the two men. "You two sure are chummy."

"Yep, we are," Roger said, as he kissed a grinning Brian on his cheek.

"So, Roger, you're a fucking fag, after all. I'd have thought that you would have told me, being we work together."

Roger almost unloaded on Charley, but remembered what Dave had said about not attacking him about anything. Instead, he answered, "It just happened yesterday. You are one of the first to know."

Charley just bounced his eyebrows and grunted.

Roger could feel Brian's tenseness and turned him away to join the others on the other side of the pool.

Brian made a point of staying in the pool until everyone else had gotten out. His dick ached. He'd been in the pool for over an hour. It had been semi hard from the moment he started undressing. He was thankful that he had on baggy trunks. No one had paid any attention to it except Roger, who had a difficult time keeping his hands off it... once they were in the pool. He'd even gotten his mouth on it at one point with everyone around them. At least he thought it had been Roger.

With Brian staying in the water, Roger wasn't about to abandon him. From across the pool, Roger grinned at him propped in the corner with his arms resting on the edge, knowing what his problem was. He swam over to him. Brian saw him coming and started to cover himself, then realized that he would sink if he let go of the edge. He instead brazened it out by thrusting his hips forward as Roger approached. Roger nuzzled the bulge through the cloth for a moment before bursting to the surface. He wrapped his arms around Brian's head. "Damn you're Beautiful," he panted, gasping for oxygen. Brian kissed him as he held both of them up. "No more than you are, Rog." Roger started rubbing against him. "If you don't stop that we're going to clog up the strainer."

"Yeah," Roger whispered.

Tim noticed that the two guys had gotten awfully quiet. He watched what Roger was doing for a moment, then with an impish gleam in his eyes, he nudged Johnny to look and yelled, "Hey, guys, no cumming in the pool."

Everyone turned to look. Roger let go of Brian and sank with Brian right behind him. They'd both lost their boners by the time they stood up in the shallow end and headed for the steps. Grinning sheepishly, they grabbed towels and started drying. The other guys went back to whatever they'd been doing while the two got dressed. "Spoilsport," Roger said when he sat down next to Tim to put on his shoes and socks.

Johnny reached over and ruffled Roger's hair. "Hey, we've all been there, done that and had someone do that to us," he said, grinning. "Welcome to the blue balls club."

Brian got into his clothes as quickly as he could. He was totally embarrassed having everyone stare at him with big grins knowing that he had been about to explode. He tried to slip into the house unnoticed. But Tim jumped up and caught him around the waist and swung him around into Johnny's arms. He found himself being hugged by both men at once. Brian was panicking. "Calm down, young fellow," Johnny said. "You're part of this family now. We all love you. If we didn't, we'd have just ignored you."

"Yeah, Brian, we only pick on those we like. And we like picking on you and Roger."

Brian's eyes were big. He had come to idolize these two amazing men in the short time he'd been working in the Tower. "Family?" he asked.

Dave walked up and said with a big smile, "You and Roger have just been officially adopted, Brian. We are now your brothers."

"Wow," was all he could say as one after another everyone gave him and Roger a hug. Brian loved it. He'd finally found the camaraderie...the loving family he'd always yearned for, simply by finding the love of his life.

^*The whole story of Charley's intervention is in 'Rough Road Ahead' right here on CRVBOY.