---

If a friendship is to flourish it needs to be nourished by both parties. When Buzz had gone on to college and George had become a deputy sheriff, the twoa best friends had become involved in their own lives and had let their friendship languish. Buzz was probably the worst transgressor in this. First, his marriage, then having to take over his father's business and eventually starting up and expanding Ogden Enterprises left little time for him to socialize with George. Once Jacob Simmons had nominated Buzz to the Board of Trustees for the University of California at San Patricio and he had been unanimously voted in, his social life began to revolve around that and the Country Club.

While Buzz was at UCLA, George met and married a sweet little woman from up north in San Jose. Since Buzz wasn't around, George chose a fellow deputy to be his best man. He and his wife had two children. Although George loved being a father, he found little fulfillment in being a husband.

Twelve years into his marriage George was injured while attempting to stop a holdup in a 7/11. His son, the younger of their two children, had just turned ten. As soon as he was back on duty, his wife filed for divorce, and moved back to San Jose, taking their children with her.

George kept in close contact with his children and saw them as often as possible. He drove up to San Jose every other weekend to spend time with them. His son spent his summers with his dad, while his daughter was happy to just occasionally visit for a weekend. So between his children and his job as County Sheriff he had little time for anything else. Still, when Claire died, George was there to offer support to his old friend Buzz.

* * *

George was walking up to the doors into the Ogden Enterprises building when Buzz stepped through them. Since neither man was looking in the direction he was headed, Buzz ran smack into George, and staggered backwards against the glass door. He caught his balance and upon seeing it was his old friend he had run into, he laughed. "George, you ol' bastard, damn, you always were the best blocker in school. You haven't hit me that hard since football practice in high school."

George laughed along with him. "If I'd known it was you I was blocking, you'd be flat on your back."

"Still want me on my back, huh?" Buzz asked with a grin.

George reddened. Buzz always did that to him. Even though Buzz never realized it, it was mostly because his kidding gibes were always right on target. For as long as George could remember he'd worshiped Buzz Ogden. He'd been willing to do almost anything Buzz asked when they were kids, and now that they were grown men and both had married and had children, he still felt the same way. Buzz had never been aware of this idolization. He just thought that George was a great guy and he loved him like a brother.

"Where're you headed?" Buzz asked.

"Up to see you."

"I was just going out to get a bite. Care to join me?" Buzz asked.

George grinned like a little kid that had just been given a lollipop. "Thought you'd never asked. Let's take my patrol car since it's just around the corner. That way I can call in while I driving."

"I've never ridden in a police car," Buzz said as they approached the vehicle.

"If you're good I'll let you ride in front with me. If not, I'll have to hand cuff you and stuff you in the rear." George immediately blushed at his unintended double entendre.

"Sounds too kinky to me." Buzz said, again grinning at George's embarrassment. "I promise I'll be good."

"Why does everything I say around you always sound like it means something else?" he asked.

Buzz laughed and grabbed him around the shoulders."I sure do miss having you around all the time like when we were in school. I love you, Buddy." George ducked his head and pulled away from him. They got into the car.

"Where to?" George asked.

"Let's go to the Country Club Cafe. I'm taking you to lunch."

"Never been there. I'm not a club member."

"You can be if you want to be, you know."

"Hell, since my divorce I can't afford to do anything. Besides, I don't play golf."

"I could teach... Divorce? You and Amy are divorced? When did that happen?"

"Damn, Buzz, you are out of the loop. Amy divorced me nearly four years ago. She couldn't take it anymore. She took the kids and moved back up to San Jose. She's married to an insurance adjuster now.

"You didn't say anything about this last time I saw you." Buzz said.

George snorted. "I wasn't about to talk about my problems with you having to bury Claire. And more recently you were in and out of the station so fast when you came to see Martin's attacker that my head spun."

"No, I guess you wouldn't." Buzz ducked his head in thought.

George looked over at him."You okay, Buddy?" he asked.

Buzz looked up at him. "I've really missed you all these years, Geo. We've got to stay in touch."

George smiled. No one had called him Geo since Buzz had gone off to college and he had become a deputy. It was good to hear Buzz call him that again.

When they pulled up to the entrance of the restaurant George stopped next to the parking attendant and asked him where he should park. They pulled over to the edge of the drive and parked where he indicated and went inside. The Maitre D' smiled at Buzz, nodded to the sheriff and seated them in the alcove where just a couple of days before Buzz had lunch with Jake Simmons. They got several waves of acknowledgement from men around the room. 'Maybe I've been missing something by not being a member of the country club,' George thought. 'I'm certainly one of the leaders of the community. Maybe I should join and fraternize a bit more.'

After they had received their drinks and ordered their food, they sat and looked at each other for a few moments. George finally broke the silence. "Why don't you tell me about young Mr. Martin, Buzz? How is he doing by the way? Has he recovered from the assault?"

Buzz choked on his drink. He wiped his mouth with his napkin and looked at him.

"Yeah, he's doing fine now."

"So tell me about him. It's time you realize that the whole town knows that he's living out at your place. We all love you, Buzz. You're one of us. If he's what you want and need, then that's okay. You don't have to hide. Of course, there are the Baptists and Born Agains, but even most of them will let you be. Tell me about him."

Buzz dropped his head in thought for a moment, then looked up at his lifelong buddy and smiled. "What makes you think he's any more than a tutor for my young ones?"

"Come on Buzz, I've known you my whole life. Despite not seeing much of you for the last few years, you're still my best friend. I don't believe you'd go through the trouble of sitting in on the perp's I.D.ing, then hire a lawyer for young Mr. Martin just out of the goodness of your heart... so tell me about him.

"You know, Geo, I've spent my whole life feeling that I was missing something. The only time I didn't feel that way was with Jorge, but that was so short lived."

"He was at Claire's funeral you know." George had known about Jorge and accepted Buzz's involvement with him. And if he were honest with himself he'd have admitted that the reason he didn't like him was because he'd wanted to be in his place. As it was, he just didn't think about it and simply disliked Jorge.

"We shouldn't be down on Jorge. He is a good guy, really," Buzz said.

"So you have forgiven him for Billy?"

"Hey, Geo, Claire was at fault there. She seduced him. In his own way he loved her as much as I did. He could never refuse her anything." Buzz regrouped his thoughts and continued. "You know... most women have never interested me. Claire was different. She was a spark of light in the dark. God, how I wish she were still here. But... if she were alive I would never have found Neal. I simply never would have looked.

"We... Claire and I, were quite miserable with each other the last couple of years of her life. About six months before she died I told her that the problem was me, not her." He paused. "I sometimes wonder if she rode her horse over the edge of the cliff on purpose. But then, I don't believe she'd have ever intentionally hurt an animal."

Their food was served and for a couple of minutes they ate in silence. Buzz laid his fork down and wiped his mouth, then spread the napkin back over his lap and studied George.

"How did we ever lose contact? It seems it was just yesterday you were out at the ranch and Maria was admonishing us for swimming right after eating."

"Maria. I hadn't thought about her in years. How is she?"

"Older… slowing down. You realize it's been nearly twenty years."

George shook his head in disbelief of the passing of time and then glanced sharply at Buzz. "You still haven't told me about Martin."

"Neal."

"That's a nice name." George said.

Buzz grinned, feeling that he said that just to get him to start talking again. "Neal Martin. You've got to meet him, Geo he's an amazing fellow. Beautiful… well, you seen him so you know how good-looking he is. But he's really bright, too, and he's got a great personality. My young one's love him. He's so good with them. Hell, even the damned dog obeys him and she doesn't listen to anyone."

George smile at Buzz's enthusiasm. "How did you meet him?"

"He filled out an application with OE. His file showed up on my desk. I was impressed with his grades. Hell, he's top of his class, so I hired him as a tutor for my young ones.

"You saw him when he was all banged up from that beating. He looked like he should have been in bed recuperating. I just wanted to hold and comfort him. I could hardly keep my hands off of him. I guess he was still feeling the effects of it when he showed up for his interview. He stumbled on the rug in my office, fell, and hit his head, giving himself another gash on his forehead. I held him in my arms while Maria bandaged it. Up until then he seemed like he was smitten with me, but when we continued the interview he'd clamped down on his feelings."

"So you aren't… ahh… together?"

"As much as I'd love for us to be… no, I haven't been able to get through his reserve."

"I wonder if he knows how lucky he is."

"What do you mean?"

"Let me just say this." Geo ducked his head for a moment then looked up at Buzz. "I wish it had been me, Buzz. That's all."

"Geo... I never knew." He reached over squeezed his arm.

"Yeah, well," he chuckled. "It would never have worked... two alpha bulls like you and me."

"I'm so sorry, Geo, I never knew you felt like that." Buzz squeezed his arm again.

"Hey, forget it. We're buddies. That's what's important." He put his hand over Buzz' and patted it. "We'll always be best friends.

They looked at each other for a moment before they continued their lunch.

* * *

When George dropped him off in front of O.E., Buzz stuck his head back in the car after getting out. "I want you to come out to dinner some night soon."

"That would be great, Buzz. Just give me a call."

As George drove away Buzz stood with his hands shoved in his pockets and watched the patrol car disappear around the corner. He was still amazed at George's revelation. He couldn't believe he had gone through thirty-four years and not known that he felt that way. Dear, lovable, ol' Geo.

* * *

In not giving the gossip mongers any fuel, the twattle soon became yesterday's news. Neal was relieved that the town's gossip hadn't spread through the university.

It was difficult for Neal to fill the two weekend days with enough activities to stay away from Buzz. He tried spending time in the café, but Betsy constantly aggravated him wanting to know how he and Buzz were getting along, and when he admitted that they weren't, she wanted to know why, what the problem was. Since he didn't want to share his emotional turmoil, he tried spending more time in the university library, but it closed at four on Saturday and wasn't opened at all on Sunday, so he ended up spending a lot of time in his room reading and studying, but always being aware in the back of his mind that Buzz was somewhere near made it hard to concentrate.

The weekdays went by fast, filled with classes during the day and studying along with Billy, Tim and Dori in the afternoon. He enjoyed being with them, they laughed and joked a lot. But when Buzz came home Neal would clam up, stick his head in his books and speak in monosyllables. Buzz tried to ignore it, continuing to be friendly, hoping that eventually he would break through Neal's icy reserve.

The twins were puzzled by it. Finally one Friday evening after Neal had locked himself away in his bedroom, Tim knocked on his door. Neal watched Tim fidgeted a bit before saying, "Just spill it, Tim. What's bothering you?"

Still not meeting Neal's eyes, Tim asked, "Why don't you like my dad?"

"What makes you think I don't like your dad?"

"Well, you stay in your room evenings rather than joining us. And weekends when dad is home you leave."

Neal felt trapped. He wasn't about to tell anybody especially Buzz's young ones why he stayed away from Buzz as much as possible. "Don't I have a right to my own life outside your family?"

"Sure you do, but it just looks like you don't want to be around Dad. When you're with just us kids you're talkative and you joke around with us, but soon as Dad get's home you're like another person. I may be just a kid, Neal, but even I can see that it hurts Dad's feelings when you close down."

"I didn't realize that. Tomorrow's Saturday. What do you say to me staying home?"

"That would be great. Maybe you could show us some of those cool dives you were telling us about."

Neal had previously made excuses using the cast as an excuse not to go swimming. But it had been removed at the end of six weeks and he'd been doing extensive physical therapy to regain the use of his fingers and to strengthen his hand and wrist, so he had no logical excuse to refuse Tim's invitation.

An hour after lunch the next day, Tim was raring to hit the pool. "Come on Dad, we've waited long enough."

"What do you say, Neal? Are you ready for a swim?" Buzz asked. "All your wounds have healed."

Neal reluctantly agreed.

"There then. Let's all get changed," Buzz said, with a big satisfied smile.

Everyone else was in the pool when Neal stepped through his bedroom's French window on to the patio. He had on baggy surfer's trunks and a tight fitting, black sleeveless T-shirt. Buzz looked at him, thinking again he had never seen anyone more beautiful. The black accented his pale skin magnificently.

"Pull your shirt off and come on in. The water's great!" Tim yelled and splashed some water at him. Neal ignored him and stepped up on the diving Board. He did a perfect double gainer dive into the pool, making hardly a splash as he entered the water. He surfaced at the shallow end and hiked his butt up on the edge and scooted back.

The three kids applauded. Neal grinned and bowed from the waist. Buzz swam over and sat beside him. Feeling disgruntled that he had given in to Tim Neal tried to ignore him. As they watched Billy bouncing on the end of the board, Buzz's nearness was doing things to him he'd rather not have to deal with. He was glad he wore loose fitting trunks.

"That was a beautiful dive," Buzz said. "You should be on the college diving team."

"I was… my freshman year," Neal replied, remembering his freshman roommate, his good buddy, the only one he'd ever trusted, who would apply hair remover to his back twice a week. His buddy had transferred to Berkeley the next year, so Neal had dropped out of diving his sophomore year, and found a small apartment off campus. He still cringed at the names the diving coach had called him when he'd quit the first week without any explanation.

Billy dove in. As he surfaced, Neal called to him. "That was really good, Billy. Arch your back a little next time."

Tim dove when he saw where Billy had surfaced.

"Try it again, Tim, and keep your feet together." Neal called out to him.

"Really? Why aren't you still?" Buzz asked.

Looking aggravated, Neal dropped his head. "I… I couldn't keep up my grades with the extracurricular activity," he lied.

Dori took her turn. Neal didn't see her dive. She swam over and grasped his ankle. "How did I do?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, Dori, I was talking to your dad and didn't see it. Do it again." Neal watched the slender young girl as she slipped out of the pool. 'She's beginning to turn into a woman.'

"That's so much bullshit." Buzz said ignoring the interruption. "You're the top student in your class, with a perfect four point average. You've hardly ever had to study to make your grades."

Neal stared at him in shock. "How do you know that?"

Buzz noticed that anger changed Neal's eyes from warm dove grey of to steely blue-grey. "Do you think I would have you living in my home if I hadn't done a thorough background check on you?"

"I just barely applied for the job a few weeks ago," Neal sputtered. "How could you do a check that fast?"

"You interviewed with Ogden Enterprises at the job fair two years ago. We do a thoroughly investigate of all potential employees, especially when they have the potential you do."

Neal looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

Dori called out, "Watch me, Neal."

He turned to watch her dive. "That was beautiful, Sweety. Nearly perfect, just keep your toes touching until you're beneath the water." He turned back and frowned at Buzz.

"It's required by the government," Buss was saying. "We do a lot of contract work for them. I've known about you for two years."

"So you know already the real reason I dropped off the team," he said bitterly. He felt violated. He stared at his feet, feeling blood flowing into his face. He angrily wiggled his ankle, static little movements that made little splashes.

"If I did, I wouldn't be asking." Buzz's voice was soft and gentle.

It calmed Neal, but the question still hung in the air. He felt it had to be answered. He looked Buzz in the eye, daring him. "I have a deformity. People make fun of it. All right?" Anger danced in his steely eyes.

"I'm sorry, Neal, that wasn't in the report."

"Yeah? Well..."

"Neal, come show us how to do a double gainer." Billy yelled, motioning for him from the diving board.

"Yeah, Neal, come on." Tim was climbing out of the water. Neal grinned at them, dove from his sitting position and swam to the deep end. As he was pulling himself out of the water, the back of his T-shirt hiked up exposing a swath of black hair running down his spine. Buzz wondered if that could be what he had referred to as his deformity as he admired the way the wet trunks molded to Neal's butt. The thought of a band of hair running from Neal's head to tail bone excited him. Neal's body was so beautifully perfect. The slender line of hair only accented the perfection.

Neal stepped up onto the board, and started giving the boys instructions on how to dive without splashing. As he poised on the end of the board he glanced at Buzz. Their eyes met. Buzz smiled. 'He's nearly naked.' The fleeting thought made Neal falter as he dove, making a huge splash as he entered the water. He came up sputtering. Both boys were laughing and jeering as he swam to the side.

He grinned sheepishly at them. "That is how not to do it." He climbed out of the pool and picked up a towel, letting it drape down his front as he dried his face. "I've had enough, guys... more tomorrow, maybe." His eyes were back to warm dove gray.

He fled into his bedroom through the French window, shutting it behind him. He turned and looked back through the glass. Buzz had dived into the water and as Neal watched, he raised himself over the edge nearest him and stood up. Neal's mind reeled with the vision of Buzz standing before him dripping water. The rivulets streaming through the mass of hair that covered Buzz's body mesmerized him. Buzz's dripping swimsuit clung to his loins. Neal was having difficulty breathing. He suddenly realized that Buzz was staring back at him with a knowing smile on his face.

Neal let out a small whimper and stepped away from the window. With the image of Buzz stuck in his mind, Neal fled into the shower stall, wishing he could lock the door. He pulled down his swimsuit and masturbated. It was quick and hard. It relieved the tension in his body, but didn't do a thing for his mind. The only thing he could do was harden his resolve, block that image of Buzz and make sure that Buzz didn't find out he was queer, for surely he wouldn't want him around his young ones if he knew.

Later that evening Buzz knocked on Neal's door. When he received permission to enter, he opened the door and leaned on the jam. Neal was sitting at his desk with his back to him. When Buzz didn't say anything Neal turned in his chair and looked to see who had knocked. Seeing it was Buzz, he stood and faced him, but couldn't look him in the eye, nor find anything to say. He stared at his feet.

"I just wanted to thank you, Neal. You're doing a superb job with my young ones. I've never seen Billy be so openly happy."

Neal blushed, still not raising his eyes. "I didn't do anything. He's usually rather put off by me."

Buzz smiled. "Well, whatever you're not doing, keep it up. It seems to be working."

Neal shrugged. Buzz studied him a moment wondering why he was so withdrawn. He'd been so open the afternoon he'd interviewed. This past afternoon he'd actually carried on a conversation with him even though Neal had seemed a bit hostile. He sighed, pushed off the jam and said goodnight.

Once the door was closed Neal collapsed into his chair, cursing himself for being such an imbecilic queer ass. He could've at least been cordial to the man.

* * *

The nights dragged by for Neal. He lay in his bed knowing Buzz was in the next room. He often fantasized that Buzz was lying in his bed dreaming about him. As often as he beat off, he would still often wake up from a wet dream in the middle of the night. In his fantasies Buzz would come into his room and straddle his face, so the only breath he got would be filled with Buzz's wonderful aroma. With that image filling his head, he'd come to a huge climax and he would then lie there for hours filled with dread that Buzz would sense his perversion - that he would know he was queer and lusting after him, and demand that he leave his house and stay away from his young ones.

And Buzz would lie in his bed, his arms behind his head and think about how warm and eager Neal had been on their first meeting, and wonder what had changed him. He would often relive the sensations of holding Neal in his arms while Maria had bandaged his head that first day. Often he would end up masturbating just to get some sleep.

One evening they were in the den watching TV. Buzz was stretched out on his recliner while Neal sat in the middle of the big overstuffed sofas his arm resting on the back with Tim sitting next to him on his left side, his feet propped up on the coffee table, and his head resting in Neal's armpit. Dory lay on his other side using his thigh as her head rest her feet on the armrest. Buzz kept glancing at Neal when he thought he wasn't looking. He smiled to himself, happy just to have Neal in the house. It was good to see how he and the twins have gotten into a close relationship.

Tim surreptitiously watched his dad and noticed the little smile. He turned his head to look up at Neal, who seemed to be absorbed in the TV show. He wondered if Neal was intentionally ignoring his dad.

When a commercial came on, Neal stuffed a pillow under Dory's head and got up. She grinned in appreciation. "Anybody want anything from the kitchen? I'm going to get a drink of water." No one did, so he left.

Tim followed him. "Neal?"

"Yeah, Tim?" he answered as he took a glass from the cupboard.

"I just don't get it. What's with you when Dad's around? You just kinda freeze up. Did he do something to make you afraid of him?"

"What would make you think that, Tim?"

"I don't know. It's just a feeling I get."

"Well, your dad has been nothing but nice to me."

"So do you even like Dad?"

"What's with all these questions?" Neal asked in exasperation.

"I don't know. It's just that you're fun when you're with just us kids. It's like you hate Dad or something."

"Hmm."

Neal ended the conversation by walking away, leaving Tim leaning against the counter. He headed for his room rather than go back into the den.

When Tim sat back down on the sofa, Dori quietly asked him, "Did you find out what's wrong?"

"He just answers my questions with questions."

Tim glanced at his Dad who looked sad and resigned as he stared at the TV.

* * *

On Tuesday Neal had an early class. When his alarm went off he stumbled out of bed and ambled into the bathroom. He was half way across the room before he realized Buzz had just said good morning to him as he stood shaving at one of the sinks - naked, giving him a full frontal and rear view with the wall of mirror behind the sink. Neal froze. His t-shirt didn't quite cover his morning woody pushing out the front of his jockeys and of course Buzz had a good view of it in the mirror, too. He couldn't take his eyes off Buzz. In his groggy state he couldn't figure out whether he should leave, continue on into the toilet or what. He'd gathered enough of his wits to cover his hardness, but stood in thrall staring at Buzz as he rocked from one foot to the other. It seemed like an eternity before he found his tongue and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were in here. The door wasn't locked."

Buzz chuckled. "There isn't a lock on either door, Neal, don't worry about it. This bathroom is certainly big enough for both of us at the same time."

When Neal still didn't move, Buzz pointed at the toilet door.

"Go relieve yourself before you piss yourself."

Neal turned a darker red as he scurried into the toilet and closed himself in. He sat on the very back of the seat and leaned forward pointing his hard tool into the bowl. It was impossible to release the flow knowing that Buzz was standing naked just a few feet away on the other side of the opaque glass door.

A few minutes later there was a tap on the door. Neal glanced up to see Buzz's blurred shape through the glass.

"I'm out of here. The bathroom is all yours."

Neal waited a full minute to make sure that Buzz wasn't returning, and then hurried into the shower. His hardon wouldn't go down. He finally lay back against the cold tile wall and let his mind go free. He masturbated while fantasizing about Buzz in his full naked glory and shot a bigger load than he ever remembered. Finally he started softening and was able to relax and let his bladder release against the shower wall.