---

Donny stood up when he saw me enter the kitchen. "Jack, I need to talk to you," he blurted out.

I smiled at him, kissed Gran's cheek and said, "Let's head out back, Don."

He led the way out the kitchen door and didn't stop until he got to the corral fence, where he turned around and looked at me before dropping his head.

"What's up, Don?"

He raised his head with tears in his eyes. I've never seen my younger brothers cry except when they were small tykes. Their dad didn't allow it.

"About what I said at the barbeque when you were fighting with Dad. I'm sorry I said it. You're as much my brother as Dwayne or Jake."

"You left out Josh."

He blushed. "I always thought Josh was my full brother until I was talking with Gran awhile ago. I had wondered, though, why he looked more like you than like the rest of us. Anyway, I just want you to know that I really do think of you as my full brother as much as Dwayne and Jake... and Josh."

I pulled him into a hug, and he hugged me back like he was starved for affection. "Thanks, Don, for telling me. I've always thought of all of you as my full brothers." I didn't tell him how it had cut me to the quick when he and Dwayne had ganged up on me with their dad.

"So, Mom made you kick Dad off the Pecos. You must have enjoyed that after all the things he's done to you over the years."

"No, I didn't enjoy it, although after I learned what he's been doing to you and Dwayne all these years, I did get a good bit of satisfaction from it."

"You know about that!" He looked at me with trepidation.

"Yeah, I'm just thankful that wasn't part of my mistreatment too."

Tears were running down his cheeks again. "I've been so fucked up and confused. It wasn't until I started seeing a counselor at the university that I started figuring out things. I liked what Dad was doing to me and at the same time I hated it and felt guilty... like it was all my fault that he was doing that to me."

He chuckled mirthlessly. "I figured I must be queer until just a couple of weeks ago. I'd never asked a girl for a date before then- the first time I've ever done that. But I'd never done anything with guys either - 'cept with Dad."

"Damn, Donny, I'm beginning to think I was the lucky one."

"I don't know. You've got to have mental and emotional scars as bad as the ones on your back."

I shrugged. "Have you talked to Dwayne?"

"Yeah, he said he'd be over this afternoon sometime."

I nodded, not knowing where to go from there.

"That was your Dad who came in with you?" Donny asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. He's a cool guy, you want to meet him?"

Donny grinned and nodded. I put my arm around his shoulder as we headed back into the house.

Dad was sitting at the table with Gran. I led Donny over to the table and said, "Dad, this is my next to youngest brother Don. He's a freshman over at the university in El Paso."

Dad stood, moved around the table and with a smile, took Donny's hand and pulled him into a hug. Donny melted against him, hugging him back. I wondered if Allen had ever shown any affection to his sons. I'd never seen it, but then I had stayed away from the man as much as possible.

Donny stood back, red faced. "It's nice to meet you, Sir. I'm so happy for Jack that you've found each other."

I glanced at Gran, who'd stood too. She was looking proud and happy. She moved past me and hugged Donny, saying, "I know you've never been told this much, but we all love you, Donny. And I, for one, am proud of the man you've become."

Again Donny laid into the hug. "Thanks, Gran. That means so much to me to hear you say that."

Gran kissed his cheek and let him go just as Mom came bustling in dressed up to go car shopping. She half nodded to Dad, then noticed Donny. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in school."

"I came home to give you my support."

Mom's eyebrows elevated. "Why would I need your support?"

She turned to Gran before Donny could answer and asked if she was ready to go. Mom ignored Donny and whirled out of the kitchen, expecting Gran to follow. Donny was crushed. Seeing the sad expression on his face, Dad put a comforting arm around his shoulders.

Donny leaned into it. Gran hugged him again and whispered in his ear. He perked up a bit and said, "I love you, Gran. Thanks."

He followed her into the living room, where I could hear mom chastising him for missing classes. Dad and I hadn't moved, so when Donny came back in slump shouldered and looking pissed off and depressed, I pulled him between us and the two of us simply held him until he sighed and pulled away, looking somewhat better.

"I guess I'll head back to El Paso soon as I talk to Dwayne tonight. Damn, I wish I lived nearer you guys."

"Did Mom tell you she's moving over to live with Aunt Bernice?"

"You're kidding me, right?" He sat down supporting his chin on his cupped hands, elbows on the table, frowning pensively.

Dad sat down, picked up his mug, took a sip, made a face, and set it back down. I turned to check the coffee pot, then started a fresh batch.

Donny sat back when I sat down. "Well, at least Aunt Bernie lives out in the eastern suburbs. Mom can't expect me to come running for every little thing, 'cause it's like thirty to thirty five miles across the city from the university."

I was sure she'd still want him to do errands for her, poor kid. I wondered if he'd refuse. There was no way she could punish him if he did. His education was paid for through Grandad's will and she'd basically just cut him off emotionally.

Sammy came in with a small bundle of dirty clothes.

"Whatcha been doing, Babe? I asked.

"He looked at the bundle, then raised an eyebrow at me. "You know, it's amazing how many clothes a little kid can mess up. I was just cleaning and straightening J.C.'s room. It'll be nice when he's old enough to do it himself."

"Don't wish him grown, Sammy, it happens too fast anyway," Dad said. "One day you'll wake up and he'll be a teenager, then you'll wonder where your little boy has gone."

"I know you're right, Dad. He's already not my baby boy anymore." He sighed and headed for the laundry room. I looked at Dad to see if he'd caught what Sammy had called him. He must have. He winked at me, smiling.

* * *

A couple of hours later, a car drove up the road, its horn honking. Of course everyone ran out to see Mom's new car. It was a silver Mercury Marquis. It rivaled the length of her younger sisters' cars. Soon as everyone had admired it, she told Donny to help her load her stuff.

"You're not leaving now are you?" He asked.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

"Dwayne will be here before dark."

Mom has this way of looking at us like we're as stupid as an ol' steer, that's how she looked at Danny. "Well, the two of you can just console each other. I don't need anyone sniveling over me. He can just hightail it back to San Marcos."

I'd never seen Donny or any of her sons, including me, stand up to her, but Donny did. "No wonder Dad was always looking elsewhere for sex. You're just a cold hearted bitch."

Mom slapped him hard.

Jake, who I hadn't realized was home, stepped to the edge of the porch. "Mom!" He yelled in a hard scolding tone.

She looked up at him, but before she could say anything, he laid into her. "Don's right. Have you ever shown any real affection for any of us? I don't remember the last time you hugged me. I, personally, will be glad to see you leave."

"So, that's the thanks I get for raising you boys. You're an ungrateful lot."

Dad, who had been standing to the side with Gran and me, spoke up.

"Rae, I tried to tell you twenty five years ago that you've got to give love in order to get love back."

"Fuck you, John. You have no business meddling in this family."

He smiled at her. "Oh, yes, I do. I've got two sons who have missed out on a lot of fatherly love because of you." He placed an arm around my shoulders. "And while I'm trying to make up for it, I just might adopt three more and let them know what it's like to have a loving parent."

Jake had moved down the steps to stand next to Dad. Dad placed his other arm around his shoulders.

Mom glared at each of us in turn, then beseechingly turned to her mother.

Gran just shook her head and said, "I think if you hurry, Rae, you just might get to Bernie's before dark."

Mom frowned and humphed, then headed up the steps into the house. Donny turned around to face us. He had a red hand-shaped welt on the side of his face and tears were still running down his face. Gran held out her arms to him, but it was Dad he turned to. "Did you mean what you just said to my mother?"

Dad smiled at him. "I certainly did, Son. Come 'ere." He pulled Donny into his arms and rubbed his back, not saying another word.

Gran smiled at him and said, "You're a good man, John."

None of us had moved when mom came bustling back out the front door and down the steps with a couple of bags. She stopped and expressionlessly looked at Dad who was still holding Donny, then strutted past us to her new car. She opened the back door, slung her bags in and slammed it, then got in, started it, yanked it into gear and stepped hard on the gas, showering us with gravel and dust.

We watched her car disappear down the road before Gran spoke up, "I think it's time for a big glass of iced tea."

She put an arm around Dad's waist and the other around Donny's and headed into the house. Jake followed them. Chewing my lip, I stared down the road and watched the dust dissipate a moment before heading into the house, too. Sammy was waiting at the door. I walked into his arms, laid my head on his shoulder, and we just held each other for a while before joining the others. He's my balm.

As we walked into the kitchen, Gran was asking, "What time did you say Dwayne would be here?"

"Any time now," Donny answered, after looking at the kitchen clock. "He said he'd head this way after his eleven o'clock class."

Gran had poured glasses of tea for Sammy and I and set them at the empty places at the table. We sat and I looked at the others looking at us. "What is this - a wake?" I asked.

It was Jake that answered. "It kind of is. Our parents are apparently gone from our lives. It's like Mom just disowned us and I have no idea if we'll ever hear from Dad again."

Sammy spoke up, "I'll share my Dad with you."

"And you've got me," Dad said, affectionately messing Jake's hair.

Jake smiled at him. "You know," he said, "you've shown me more affection in the two days you've been here than my father has my whole life."

* * *

Soon after that, Dad Bowden came home with J.C. I was third in line, after he hugged his dad, then flew to Grampa John. After he'd greeted everyone, Sammy headed upstairs with J.C. to change him out of his school clothes. We'd quickly learned that it was 'school' that J.C. went to, not kindergarten. My brothers had wandered off leaving Dad, Dad B., Gran, and I at the kitchen table.

"So how'd it go over at the Pecos? Jim get settled in?" Dad B. asked.

"Allen was all packed and ready to leave in my pickup. He tried to argue that the pickup was his, but with a big, burly Deputy standing behind me his argument failed. So, he reloaded his stuff into Mom's ol' car and left in a huff.

"The men seem to take right to Jim as their new boss. I think he'll work out fine. Carolyn and their kids arrived about the time I was ready to leave. She loved the house."

"I hope Rae doesn't cause any scenes over there," Gran said.

"I suspect she won't. She always puts on a good face with strangers. You know that, Gran."

I left Dad visiting with Gran and went searching for my mate. I found him in the middle of Donny's bed holding a sleeping little boy while carrying on an animated conversation with Donny and Jake. He and Donny were telling Jake about their college experiences. I felt a great relief that my two brothers weren't centered on their parent's actions. I quietly took J.C. from Sammy, carried him to his own room, laid him on his bed and covered him with a light blanket.

I'd just stepped back into the hall when I heard Dwayne call out, "Anybody home?" Gran answered, "In the kitchen." I stuck my head in Donny's room and told them Dwayne had arrived. My two brothers headed breakneck for the kitchen, where they grabbed Dwayne in a three way hug.

I got there just in time to hear Dwayne say, "Gran just told me that Mom's moving to El Paso and wouldn't wait for me to get here? What gives with her?"

I don't know why he looked at me when he asked the question, but it was Donny that answered his question. "She's a cold hearted bitch, Dwayne. I told her you were on your way, and she said you could just turn around and head back to San Marcos, she didn't need anyone sniveling over her."

Dwayne sounded like a broken-hearted little kid, saying, "I only wanted to give her my moral support."

Unnoticed, Dad had stood and moved around the table to stand next to Dwayne. When Dad pulled him to his chest and wrapped his arms around him, I don't think Dwayne was aware of who had pulled him into a hug. It was amazing to watch him lay his head on Dad's shoulder and hug him back. After a bit, he got his emotions under control and stepped away from Dad. I guess he suddenly realized it was a total stranger he'd just allowed to hug him. He raised his head, awed, as he looked at Dad, then said, "You must be Jack's dad."

Dad grinned at him.

"He told Mom that he's going to adopt us," Donny injected, "and show us what it's like to have a loving affectionate parent."

"I'm too old to be adopted," Dwayne objected.

"I am, too," Donny answered before Dad could say anything. "But John gives good hugs as you just found out."

Dwayne turned red.

"I'm six years older than you Dwayne and I enjoy a hug from Dad, too," I said.

"Yeah, but you're a que---"

Donny poked him sharply in his ribs. Dwayne snapped his mouth closed. He must have noticed Gran's expression, because he immediately said, "I apologize, Jack." He nodded to Sammy standing in the doorway. "To you, too, Sam. I..."

Dad Bowden entered the room. "Dwayne, it's good to see you. How are you holding up?"

Dwayne looked like he didn't understand. "I'm okay. Why do you ask?"

Before Dad B. could reply, Donny interrupted. "Dwayne and I need to have a talk in private. So if y'all will excuse us." He grabbed Dwayne's arm and was pulling him towards the door. "Gran, can we use your office?"

"Go right ahead boys. Call out if you need us."

Donny called over his shoulder, "Jack, you and Jake join us."

* * *

I closed the office door behind Jake and turned to see what exactly Donny was up to.

"Jeez, sit down and get comfortable." He sat on Gran's desk chair, Dwayne and Jake took each end of the sofa, so I folded my arms across my chest and leaned against the end of the bookcase. Jake looked up at me and patted the center sofa cushion. I winked at him and shook my head. Dwayne was obviously uptight enough without his queer older brother sitting next to him.

Donny observed our silent conversation. "Oh, for cripes sake, Jake, move over and let Jack sit there."

I noticed Dwayne blush as Jake moved. I walked across the room and sat down. We all looked at Donny.

"Before we discuss Mom and Dad, I want to say... Dwayne it's time for you to stop being a hypocrite. Every cowboy on this ranch, including Jack and Jake, knows what Dad did with you and me. What they probably don't know is that you liked it and looked forward to it."

Dwayne was immediately on his feet, his hand fisted. "Shut up, Don."

Donny who was as big as Dwayne just looked at him, and calmly said. "Sit down and stop the act."

Dwayne stared defiantly at his younger brother, then deflated and collapsed back on the sofa.

"Now... about Mom and Dad... Dwayne, did Mom tell you why she left him?"

Dwayne, who had leaned forward with his arms across his knees and his head down, looked up at Donny and shook his head.

"She caught him on his knees sucking one of his ranch hand's cock."

Dwayne sat up, looked at Jake and then me. His face, at first full of consternation, quickly broke into a big grin before he started laughing. When he began to calm down, he gasped "It took her long enough. So where is he now?"

"Mom insisted that Jack kick him off the Pecos. Jack gave him Mom's old car and kept the pickup he drove."

"The pickup belongs to the ranch, not him," I injected.

Dwayne chuckled. "So, what's Mom driving now?"

"A new Mercury Marquis," Jake told him.

Dwayne shook his head and chuckled some more.

It was Jake who asked the question that was at the forefront of my mind, but refused to ask.

"So, what did Don mean calling you a hypocrite?"

Dwayne sobered and glared at Donny.

Donny shrugged. "I'm sorry, but you were completely out of line in the kitchen."

Dwayne grimaced, nodded, and dropped his head with a sigh.

"Does this mean what I'm thinking?" Jake asked.

Dwayne stood and strode across the room, then turned around and walked hesitantly back. He gazed out the window as he started talking. "You know what was funny about the whole thing? Dad quit sucking me when he realized I liked it and offered to do him. He actually had the audacity to call me names. He'd just had my hard cock in his mouth and he was calling me a cocksucking queer. I'd never sucked a cock and I didn't know then that I was queer. That was the weekend of Gran's party, the night before I headed back to school. I was just figuring out that I'm like you, Jack. He really fucked up my head for a few days. If it hadn't been for my roommate, Ken, it'd probably still be."

He turned to look me in the eyes. "Yeah, I was being a hypocrite in the kitchen. The only ones that know about me are you three and my roommate back in San Marcos."

"Nobody else needs to know it until you're ready to tell them, Dwayne."

"Thanks, Jack. I need to apologize for taking Dad's side at Gran's birthday bash and saying what I did." He let out a big sigh. "Damn, it's good to feel free at last."

I stood up. "I know how you feel. It's like a long-locked door has been opened."

Dwayne grabbed me in a bear hug and kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry Sammy gotcha first, Jack. I've had a crush on you ever since I hit puberty," he murmured in my ear.

I pulled back and looked at him. "I would never have guessed."

"I had no intention of you ever knowing."

Jake wrapped an arm around us each. "I'm happy you two have gotten things straighten out. Damn, I can't believe I've got two queer brothers."

Dwayne grabbed him around his head and noogied his scalp. "Watch your mouth, Baby Brother."

Jake broke away from him. "Don't call me baby," he said, rubbing the top of his head and combing his hair with his fingers.

"Seriously, Jake, Dwayne's not ready for everyone to know, so be careful of what you say."

"What's been said in this room is only for the four of us." Donny said.

* * *

Gran had dinner ready when we filed back into the kitchen. As she set a big pot roast in the middle of the table, she asked, "You boys get everything straightened out?" She had her eyes on Dwayne.

He blushed, knowing that Gran probably had figure out what our conference was about. "Yes, Ma'am, we did."

"Good. Now eat your dinner and get a good night's sleep before you and Donny head back to school. Jake, you've got school tomorrow, too, so don't stay up late."

In chorus, they said, "Yes, Ma'am."

J.C., who was sitting on his granddad's lap, piped up, "I got school tomorrow, too, Gran, so I'm going to bed early, too."

Sammy, sitting between me and his dad, stretched over and kissed his little son's cheek. "You're such a good young man."

Everyone was now watching J.C., who thoughtfully took a bite, chewed and swallowed, then asked, "Gran, if I'm a young man, then why are my uncles boys?"

Gran, looking real serious, said, "Jacy, when you get to be as old as me, all men are boys."

His eyes got big. "Oh," he said, as he lapsed into thought and continued eating.

Conversation lulled for several minutes with everyone enjoying the delicious meal. Dad cleared his throat, drawing everyone's attention. "Gran and I have been talking. I don't have much to hold me on the ranch down home. My brothers have been running it for years. I sometimes get the feeling they think of me as an interloper since I retired from the Army. My ex wife and two daughters are back in Germany, and since my sons live here, Gran has asked if I'd like to move up here." He paused and looked at me. I liked the idea and grinned. He looked at each of my brothers who all smiled and nodded. He then looked at Gran. "I accept the offer."

"Dad, I was thinking that if you're going to be flying back and forth that we should put in a landing strip here on the ranch. That flat area down by the pond would be a good place for one."

"That would save a lot of money on fees I'd be paying to the McCamey airport. I'll gladly pay for it."

I wasn't going to argue money with him, so I just let his offer go. Tomorrow I'd have a paving contractor out here to start on a runway.

As I sat back with a full happy belly, I looked around the table at my family and thought about how lucky I was - my life partner and little son, my father-in-law, my three younger brothers, Gran, and my real Dad. They must have all read my thoughts, because they were all looking back at me with smiles on their faces. I just wished Josh and his family were here with us to make it complete, but they were nearby and we'd see them soon, so that wasn't so bad. Yeah, life was good.

The End