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Life's not been the same on the Girvin Ranch since Gran's birthday bash. It was a big change for me to go from ramrodding the Pecos spread to being the right out taking ownership of both spreads. On top of that - finally getting together with Sammy as my life partner, then having him, his son, and his dad moving into the house with Gran and me. And having my youngest brother Jake living with us has added a bit more spice to the mix.

Soon after we got the Bowdens settled in, I chose a day when I knew that my stepdad would be out of the house for a few hours to go up to the Pecos to pack up all my stuff and move it down to Girvin. With Mom's help, I got it all loaded, had lunch with her, then headed back to Girvin.

It was about three weeks after Gran's party that Cass returned with his partner Woody for a weekend visit. I instantly liked the fellow. He was even more gregarious than Cass. J.C. was right away calling him Uncle Woody.

I noticed Sammy watching Cass and me and called him on it. "Sammy, I made you a promise and I always keep my promises. Cass is no more than a friend and my cousin. He'll never be any more than that."

He was contrite for being suspicious and I couldn't blame him, looking back at my track record, but I could see, too, that he was relieved to have me reconfirm my promise.

I couldn't believe that Dad Bowden joined us in skinny dipping in one of the remote tanks. Of course Jake and J.C. weren't about to be left out. Jake may be a straight boy, but he checked out everyone, including Dad Bowden.

I was sitting on the ledge catching my breath and getting a kick out of J.C.'s delighted screams as he was tossed from one big man to the next when Cass pulled his butt up to sit beside me. I grinned at him.

"Jack, I saw Uncle John last week. I told him about your mom and stepdad moving over to your other ranch."

It took me a moment to figure out who his 'Uncle John' was. It kind of aggravated me, so I gave him a shrug, pushed off the ledge, dove to the bottom of the tank, and swam to the other side to join in the play with my new little son. Cass made no more mention of it, so I put it to the back of my mind and forgot about it.

* * *

It was about six weeks after the big move that I left the Girvin ranch one morning before dawn and arrived at the Pecos just in time for breakfast. Mom was happy to see me and my stepdad was civil enough to ask me to join them for breakfast.

Mom wanted to be filled in on what was happening back home. Even though she talks to Jake, my youngest brother, at least once a week, she wanted to hear my side of it all.

"Well, Jake has really gotten into playing uncle with J.C.. He and Dad Bowden are constantly vying for the little boy's attention. But I gotta tell you, Mom, that little boy has really stolen my heart, too."

My stepdad humphed to himself. I glanced at him and he had a difficult time not sneering. I quirked an eyebrow at him and turned back to Mom, who pretended not to notice and gushed about how happy she was that Sammy and I had finally gotten back together. I got a feeling that she was saying this just to get under my stepdad's skin, and that she wasn't really sincere.

It worked, my stepdad cleared his throat and pushed away from the table. "I'll be out at the corral when you finish here, Jack."

We watched him grab his hat and head out the back door. Mom turned back to me once he was gone. Before she could say anything I asked, "How's he adapting to his banishment?"

Mom smiled and shook her head. "I don't think he sees it as that. He's out from under Gran's thumb and feeling like he's finally his own boss."

I chuckled. "Do you think he's really fooling himself that he's not working for me?"

"I doubt that he is. Just look at how civil he's been this morning."

"Mmm." I didn't feel like bursting Mom's bubble, so I excused myself and headed out the back door. Glancing back at the kitchen window, I saw Mom watching me and waved to her. I didn't see my stepdad, so I walked up to the corral fence to watch Mr. Morris rope a young filly he'd been taming since before I moved down to Girvin. Mr. Morris has worked here on the Pecos since long before I was born. Although he'd never admit it, he'd been my mentor while I ran the Pecos. And to be honest with myself, I'd have had him running the ranch if it weren't for Mom and my brothers.

He saw me and nodded as he held out his rope and his filly walked up to him and stuck her neck through the loop. He acted surprised, and I laughed as he snugged it around the filly's neck and gave her an affectionate hug before leading her over to the fence, pulling his right hand glove off as he walked. He shoved his hand through the fence with a big welcoming grin. "Checking up on the stepdad, huh, Jack?"

"Nah, I was just missin' seein' your ol' handsome face," I said, grabbing his hand. "How's he working out, Mr. Morris?"

"I guess I should just give up tryin' to get you to call me Andy," he said with an exaggerated sigh. "He's doing okay. The men respect him, even though word's gotten out about you whippin' his butt. Actually, I think it just raised your status in their eyes."

I'm sure my face turned a bit red causing Mr. Morris to chuckle. "You got your little filly broken in yet?" I asked, moving on.

"I've got her completely tamed. She's takin' to the saddle with no quibblin'."

"She's a beauty, Mr. Morris." I held my hand out and the little mare stepped up and dropped her head for me to scratch her forelock.

Mr. Morris and I continued to visit while each of the men came by to greet me and shake my hand. No one said anything about me whippin' my stepdad's butt, but I could see in their eye's that they wanted to.

My stepdad finally came out of the barn leading a saddled horse and walked over to us. "Better get saddled up there, Andy. You've got a bit of riding to do today."

"Sure thing, Boss. It's good to see ya, Jack." He tipped his hat.

My stepdad watched him disappear into the barn, then turned and looked at me with a sneer. "So, you and that Bowden boy are shacking up. God, who'd believe that I raised a homo stepson."

I gave him a measured stare, then asked, "Do you remember a fellow that worked for you one summer about three years ago. I think his name was Steve West."

I could see that he well remembered him. "Yeah, I remember the cocksucker. What about him?"

"Isn't that kinda pots and kettles? I'd swear it was you I saw on your knees in the feed room. Nice apartment he settled into after you fired him. Seems your pickup is seen there quite often. Have you found a fellow over here yet? Maybe in Ft. Stockton?"

He ignored my jibing questions and asked, "If you knew that, why haven't you told your mother?"

"Well, the relationship I have with Mom is rather complex. I love her 'cause she is my mother, but at the same time I feel she deserves a man like you as her husband. You know she divorced my father because he was honest enough to tell her he'd had an affair with a fräulein at the end of the war while he was still in Germany. Then she saddled me with you as a replacement. I guess it's kinda perverse, but I do get a bit of pleasure knowing you mess around with other men while playing the dutiful husband to the woman who deprived me of a real dad."

He was chewing his lower lip when I finally wound down, but he accepted the implied insult.

"So you're here checking up on me, are you, Jack?"

"What makes you think that?"

"What other business would you have up here?"

"Well," I said drawing the word out. "Since I'm the owner of this ranch, I feel it's my responsibility to oversee how it's running. Don't you agree that's what I'm s'posed to be doing?"

"So, this is just your way of reminding me that I'm working for you."

I chuckled. "I don't think you need to be reminded of that. No, I just wanted to make sure everything's going smoothly."

"Everything is just Jim Dandy."

"That's good to hear. I think I'll go visit some with Mom before I head back."

My stepdad simply nodded and turned to his horse. As he settled in his saddle, I turned back and said, "Oh, there is one thing I do need to tell you. I'm taking Mr. Morris back with me to the Girvin. I'm giving him your old position."

My stepdad's countenance darkened, then he shrugged and smoothed out his frown. "That will be good for the old man. It'll be easier on him." He tipped his hat and rode away, his back straight.

I watched him for a moment, wondering how he could live with himself before I strode into the barn to catch Mr. Morris.

* * *

"I've always loved this country over here, all these mesas. Plateaus I heard someone call them. You know... I heard once that this whole area was once under the ocean." Mr. Morris looked at me as if to see what I thought of the idea.

"It was a primordial sea, Mr. Morris. Way back before the dinosaurs. Up on the mesa behind the house one can still find fossilized sea shells."

"Wonder of wonders." He stared out the side window for a bit then said, "So you want me to ramrod the Girvin for you, huh?"

"You've forgotten more about ranching than I'll ever know, Mr. Morris. You're the man for the job."

"Well, I do appreciate you keepin' me in mind, Jack. You know… I'm goin'ta hafta start calling you Mr. Pommel now that I'm working directly for you."

I glanced at him and caught the mirth in his eyes. "Why? You worked directly for me over on the Pecos and I was just Jack."

"Yeah, but you were just the ramrod there. Now you're the owner. The boss."

"I was the owner back then, too."

"Yeah, but I didn't know that."

"So, I'm still Jack."

He grinned at me. "Well, if I can be Andy, then you can still be Jack. Deal?"

I glanced at him, trying to hide my smile and turned my eyes back to the road.

"Deal, Mr. Pommel?"

I scrunched up my face like I was in dire pain. "Alright, it's a deal. Jeez, I can't have you going around calling me Mister. Everybody would laugh at me."

"Well, you do deserve the respect."

"Respect reshmect."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know. I think it something Yiddish."

"Mmmm, sounds like some kinda put down.

I shrugged. My mind was still on the conversation I'd had with my stepdad earlier.

I pulled up to the ranch house right at noon, just in time for lunch. I helped Andy unload his filly and put her in the corral with some fresh hay, then settled him in the room that I'd moved out of. Jake's, Sammy's, and Dad Bowden's trucks were gone, so I figured it was just Grans at home. I invited him in to have lunch with us.

* * *

It was getting on toward four that afternoon. I'd gotten Mr. Morris - Andy I corrected myself, settled in and had introduced him to all the ranch hands. I figured Sammy would be coming down the road soon, since he picked up J.C. from kindergarten in Bakersfield at three-thirty, so I went out on the veranda, sat in one of the big ol' rockers, and propped my feet up on the railing to wait for them.

I must have dosed off. A car coming to a stop in the driveway woke me. It wasn't Sammy. I stood to welcome whoever it was. At first I thought the man getting out of the car was Cass, but he had a graying, receding hair line. I heard Gran open the screen door and gasp. Then it dawned on me who the man was - John C. Pommel, the first. My father.

I watched Gran meet him at the top of the steps with a big hug and heard her say, "My God, John, it's wonderful to see you again."

With an arm around his waist she turned to me. "Jack, this is . . ."

"I know who you are, Sir. You're the man in the photos I keep in a bible that once belonged to you beside my bed."

John rested his chin on his chest for a moment before looking me in the eyes. "My nephew Cass told me that you had banished your mother to your Pecos ranch. I felt it safe to finally get to see you again without a bitter confrontation."

"Are you saying, Sir, that my mother forbade you to see me?"

He nodded his head once.

I looked at Grans. "And you knew this and never told me?"

"Your mother forbade me to tell you, Jack."

"I see." I wanted nothing more than to go off by myself and think this through, but I realized now was not the time. I stepped forward with my hand out. "Welcome, Sir, I'm happy to finally get to meet you."

John stepped forward, grasped my hand and pulled me into a hug. "Son," he murmured in my ear, "you'll never know how much pain and anguish I've gone through not being allowed to be part of your life."

It suddenly dawned on me that this man hugging me was my father, my dad, and he loved me. I tightened my arms around him, but couldn't form a word. Gran embraced the two of us and said, "Let's go in the house."

We'd no sooner settled at the kitchen table than Sammy's pickup pulled in. I couldn't help but notice the studying look that John was giving me as we watched Sammy and J.C. get out of the pickup and walk into the kitchen through the back door. J.C. ran to me yelling, "Daddy Jack, I got two gold stars for drawing a horse. Look." He climbed onto my lap and kissed my cheek as he held his drawing up for me to see. John watched the boy a moment and raised his eyes to study Sammy as he approached. I could tell that he was adding up the situation.

Seeing a stranger at the table, Sammy walked over and gave my shoulder a squeeze as Gran introduced him to John. I still hadn't totally reconciled myself to thinking of him as Dad. They shook hands. Gran hadn't said anything about John being my father, but I could see that Sammy had come to that realization on his own.

"So, this is the first time you've seen your son since he was four," Sammy said to him.

I watched John regroup before answering. "Yes, with Rae out of the picture I figured it was safe to finally make an appearance."

Sammy simply nodded, and sat down next to me. I could see he was getting ready to take my side if there was any contention. Grans involved John in conversation. Sammy squeezed my knee under the table and asked, "How did your trip to the Pecos go?"

"It went really smoothly. I ended up bringing Mr. Morris back with me to ramrod this place."

"Oh? What are you going to do?"

"Well, with overseeing the two ranches and keeping up with you and this young un, I don't think I'll have a difficult time staying busy."

I heard John say to Gran, "I think he deserves to know. Surely you agree, Adie. He's Twenty eight... mature enough to handle it."

I forgot all about my conversation with Sammy. I couldn't have told you if he'd said anything more. I turned to John and Grans. "What are you two in disagreement about that I deserve to know?"

Grans started to tell me to mind my own business, but John interrupted her. "I think you should know why you were deprived of a father."

"John," Gran injected, "think of how this is going to affect his relationship with his mother."

John bowed his head and didn't reply. I studied him a moment then looked at Gran. "Have I really fooled you into thinking everything is wonderful between me and my mother?"

Gran looked at me in surprise. John raised his head and studied me. Sammy gripped my arm, then lifted J.C. off my lap and left the room with him. I watched him leave, then turned back to Gran. "I'm talking about the woman who hardly ever objected to or put a stop to the abuse my stepfather has subjected me to. Do you think for a moment she'd have really done anything if I had shown her my back?

"Hell no. She'd have sided with the bastard and told me to not lie to him. Well, I didn't lie to him, yet the bastard decided to believe the wetback that blamed me for what he broke. One thing I did learn from that beating, Gran, was how to lie... how to deceive... how to deceive even you. Do I love my mother? Yeah, I do, but only because she's my mother. I have absolutely no respect for her. Does she love me? I can't really answer that. I'm not sure she really knows what love is."

I ran out of gas and stalled. Gran was staring at me opened mouth. The man who is my father was looking at me in consternation. "What did the man do to your back?" He asked.

I sat there staring at the table top, coherent thought completely absent in my mind. He placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him vacantly. He turned to Gran. "What did the bastard do to his back?"

Gran reached across the table and stroked my cheek. I looked pleadingly at her. "Show your father your back, Jack."

Like an automaton, I stood, turned my back to them, and dropped my shirt.

"Jesus H. Christ! How could he have done this and you didn't know about it, Adie?"

His verbal attack on Gran brought me back to my senses.
"He threatened to kill me if I let anyone know what he'd done. He medicated and bandaged it along with threats every day until it healed. Until I thoughtlessly pulled my shirt off at Gran's birthday bash, no one except the bastard and Sammy, who I swore to secrecy, knew about it."

"How did your mother react when she saw what he'd done?"

I looked to Gran, who shook her head and grimaced. I looked back at John. "She acted properly horrified, but still she went to bed with the bastard that same night."

"Sounds like the same Rae I knew. A heartless bitch."

"You were going to tell me what she did to deprive me of you in my life."

John turned and asked Gran if she minded if we went for a walk.

"With my blessings, John. I whole heartedly agree that Jack should know. Jack," she said turning to me, "I'm heartsick that I never knew what he did. And I'm ashamed to have to claim Rae as my daughter."

We headed down the road towards the hiway. The road, I noted as we walked, was going to have to be graded again soon. It had become two long ruts. John walked in one and I walked in the other. We both had our hands stuffed into our back pockets. John was surveying the landscape. He spent several seconds scanning the cliffs around the mesa top, then turned his head to scope the greasewood covered countryside sloping away from our mesa and up to the next one a few miles away. I covertly studied him and liked what I saw. How not? He looked so much like me, or rather vice versa, just a bit more mature and older.

About a hundred yards from the house, John looked at me and asked, "How long have you and Sammy been partners?"

"You caught that, did you?"

He chuckled, "Yes, Daddy Jack, almost immediately. Plus it's obvious how he feels about you."

"We've only been together about two months, but we've been in love with each other about forever. Neither of us could admit how we felt. We had an altercation, I guess one could call it, at the end of our senior year in high school and didn't see or speak to each other until Gran's birthday barbeque. We've been together since." I glanced at him to see how he was accepting that his son was a homo. I was surprised that he was looking at me with a big smile.

"Congratulations, Jack." He reached over and laid his hand on my shoulder. "I hope your love for each other lasts a lifetime."

I grinned at him feeling like a bashful teenager. "John, would you mind if I called you Dad?"

His smile spread into a big delighted grin. "I'd love it, Son." His hand clinched the back of my neck and pulled me to him as he wrapped me in a bear hug. "Damn, Jack, I was so afraid that you'd reject me. I suppose that fear was part of what kept me away so long."

It seemed that neither of us wanted to let go. "I guess it's time for you to tell me what my mother did to keep you away from me."