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In the ensuing silence while everyone was considering Bill’s observation, I heard Aunt Mae yelling at her brood to get their stuff gathered so they could hit the road. Then Aunt Jean was asking where Uncle Bill had gotten off to.

"I’m in the kitchen, Jean," he yelled.

Jean stuck her head through the door, looked at each of us and said, "You men are in here telling dirty stories, aren’t you?"

"No, we’re not. We’re solving Jack and Sammy’s dilemma," Bill answered.

Jean stepped on into the room, followed by my mom and Gran. "You’re having problems already?" She asked, looking at me, then at Sammy.

"Jean, think about it," Gran said. "Sammy’s got his dad’s ranch to run and Jack’s got the Stockton and Pecos spreads to oversee. ‘Course his stepdad’s going to be ramroddin’ up there. Still it’s Jack’s job to keep an eye on everything."

Jean was nodding, Mom was shaking her head and Gran planted her hands on the edge of the table and leaned toward Dad Bowden as she said, "Sam, would you consider moving into this big ol’ house. You know Sammy’s going to stay to take care of you if you refuse."

Everyone turned to look at Dad Bowden. He’s still handsome and in damn good condition, considering that he’s in his late sixties. I felt sorry for him, being put on the spot like that.

"Besides," Gran continued, "I’d feel better having an adult man in the house with these two hellions." She pointedly looked at me, then Sammy, who was still looking bowled over by the idea.

Mom just grinned and shook her head while Jean looked scandalized and squawked, "Mother!"

Gran turned on her. "What’s the matter? I’m not too old to appreciate a bit of male companionship, especially if he’s as fine looking as Sam Bowden." She turned back to Dad Bowden. "What do you say, Sam? This house is big enough that you can have your own suite of rooms and all the privacy you want. And there seems to always be some of my great-grandkids around for J. C. to play with."

I don’t know what it is with Gran. She always seems to be in sync with everything I get involved with. She couldn’t possibly have heard my joking suggestion, yet she extended the offer to Dad Bowden as if we’d previously discussed it.

Hell, Sammy and I hadn’t even had a chance to discuss where we wanted our relationship to go besides being good buddies again. Sammy had expressed a desire to make it with me. I know I love him and I’m sure that he loves me, but is it an ‘in love’ type love? I mentally shrugged. We’ve not yet had a chance to figure that out and here we’re being railroaded into living together before we even have a chance to explore it.

"Dad Bowden, don’t answer that yet," I said, then I turned to Sammy. "Let your dad and Gran keep Jay. You and I need some alone time. Come on, let’s get out of here."

Sammy grinned at me, relief foremost in his eyes, as J.C. yelled at me that his name was Jacy not Jay.

I tousled his hair and told him, "Jay is short for a short kid like you."

"I’m not short. I’m going to be as big as my daddy."

"Maybe even bigger," I said.

His eyes got big as he mulled that over. I grabbed Sammy by the arm and pulled him toward the back door. He broke away and turned back to kiss his kid’s cheek and whisper something to him, then turned to his dad and asked him to keep an eye on his grandson. He caught up with me as we reached my pickup. (No, it’s not the one that Gran gave me so many years ago. It’s a new ’56 Dodge pickup.) As we headed out to the highway, he asked, "Where are we going?"

I glanced at him. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Thinking fast, I asked, "How about your place? No one’s home there."

"Good choice," he said, grinning at me.

So with both of us grinning like a couple of fools I hung a left on the highway and headed down to Sammy’s. I was still in a quandary about where I wanted to go with this. Sure, we’d talked a bit about what had happened down in Big Bend nine years ago, but, hell, I’ve lived with the pain for so long it was hard to let it go. I was going to have to let it go if anything was going to develop with Sammy. I glanced at him and he smiled shyly. I couldn’t mistake what I saw in his eyes. I wanted to just pull over to the side of the road and lay one on him right then. When I glanced at him again, I could see that he knew what I was feeling ‘cause he grinned wickedly at me. I pushed a little harder on the gas pedal.

When we stopped in front of his place, his foreman stepped out of the bunkhouse. When he saw the two of us, he grinned, waved and went back inside. Joe Turner has been the foreman since Dad Bowden was teaching Sammy and me how to rope when we were kids. I got the feeling from his grin that Joe knew exactly what was going on.

I was planning, once we were inside, on grabbing Sammy and laying a long juicy kiss on him, but by the time I got through the door he was across the room with his fists firmly planted on his hips and a stern expression on his face. She-e-it. "So . . . that was what you and Gran were discussing behind that locked door. Not even asking me how I felt about anything."

"Now, just a damned minute, Sammy. You’re jumping to conclusions. Moving my stepdad up to the Pecos was what we were discussing. Your name was never mentioned."

"Then how did she come up with the same idea you had?"

"Believe me, Sammy, that is weird. It’s almost spooky how our minds seem to run on the same track. She’s done that a couple of times this weekend. I know she didn’t overhear me, because she was sitting on the sofa in the living room holding one of her great- grandkids when I went into the kitchen."

Sammy was looking at me like he didn’t know whether to believe me or not.

"Besides, that’s the reason I pulled you out of there. I have no idea how you feel about me. Maybe you just want to be best buddies like we used to be."

Sammy shook his head.

"What? You don’t want to be buddies?"

"Jack." He sound exasperated.

"I thought that’s what we agreed on yesterday and again this morning, that we’re going to . . ."

"Shut up. Damn, how am I going to tell you anything if you just keep running your mouth?"

I snapped my mouth shut and blinked at him. He walked across the room and stopped a couple of feet in front of me. I waited for him to speak.

"I’m going to take a gamble. I’m going to put my feelings on the line. I hope it won’t destroy me."

"Sammy, you know I’d never hurt you."

"Hush, I know you wouldn’t, Jack." He stared at me, his expression going from intense yearning to frightened while I stood still and stared back, even though I wanted so badly to pull him to me and assure him.

When I couldn’t stand his silence any longer, I grabbed him by his shoulders, pulled him against me and wrapped my arms around him. Holding him snuggly, I said, "You know I’ve been in love with you since back in high school. I don’t know how you feel about that, but I hope you feel the same way."

That surprised me. It just came out of my mouth without me thinking it over first. I guess I had been hiding it from myself. Damn.

He vigorously nodded his head against my chest, but didn’t say a word. His nod and the way he clung to me were the only indications that our feelings were mutual. I continued to hold him, caressing the back of his head for a couple of minutes. Without warning he pushed away from me and walked back across the room with his chin tucked against his chest. He stood still for a moment, then turned around and squared his shoulders. When he looked up, he said, "I guess that by now Dad has told Gran about what I told him last night and has agreed to what you suggested."

Wondering if this was his way of telling me he loved me. I started to respond, but he cut me off. "Jack, you gotta give me your word that you’re not going to continue fucking around. It’s me and only me that you mess around with. Do you understand what I’m saying?"

It took me a minute to process what he was saying and what it intimated. It was at that moment that I knew I was absolutely for sure in love with him, that I always had been and was just too much a donkey head to realize it.

"It just might kill me if you did." His voice was low and his head dropped back down.

I swiftly moved to him, took his head in my hands and raised it to look into his eyes. "Are you telling me that you feel about me the same way I feel about you? Are you in love with me?" I asked.

He pulled away and punched me in the chest. "You idiot. There’s never been anyone but you. Yeah, I was stupid enough to think I could get married and forget about you. That obviously didn’t work. There’s never been another man in my life."

I pulled him back against me. "So tell me, Sammy. I need to hear you say those three words."

I felt him draw in a deep breath and let it out. He lifted his head and stared me in my eyes. "I love you, gawddammit."

I grinned at him and squeezed him tightly, rocking him from side to side. "Ah, Sammy, you’re so romantic. With you as my sidekick, I promise you I won’t ever fuck around."

"Thanks, now shuddup and kiss me."

I did. I held his face in my hands, my fingers behind his head and my thumbs on his cheeks, and kissed him very slowly and deeply for a long time. When we came up for air, we gazed at each other until I suggested that we get back and tell them.

Sammy looked at me like I’d lost my mind. "I’ve waited for this for nine years. I’m not leaving this house a virgin. You know where my bedroom is. Get in there and get ready to take me."

Sammy turned to lead the way, but I scooped him up in my arms and carried him with him protesting, "Dammit, Jack, I’m not your little bride. Put me down. Dammit, you’re going to drop me."

Thank God he was hanging onto my neck and not struggling. He weighed as much as me, but I managed to get him into his bedroom and gently set him on his feet. For a moment I thought he was going to slug me, instead he wrapped his arms around my neck and attacked my mouth with his. I had his shirt unbuttoned and his Levi’s down around his knees along with his skivvies and was feeling him up by the time he backed off.

We both quickly shed our clothes and stood beside the bed drinking in each other with our eyes. I hadn’t seen him totally naked since he was seventeen. He’d matured into a fine looking man, muscular from hard work, his chest covered in light brown hair that narrowed at his sternum and trailed down to his pubes. His manhood pointed at me and jumped when he caught me staring at it. His strong legs were covered in the same light brown hair as on his chest. I wanted to feel them wrapped around my waist.

"So who gets to go first?" I asked.

"Me," he answered.

I nodded, crawled on the bed and stuck my butt in the air. I’d never done this before, but knowing how all the men I’ve fucked in the last nine years loved it, I figured that I probably would too – especially with Sammy.

He slapped my butt cheek and asked, "What in hell are you doing, Jack?"

Resting on my elbows, I looked at him over my shoulder and said, "Letting you go first. Just take it easy."

"And you commented on how romantic I am," he laughed. Then slapping my other cheek, he commanded, "On your back, Jack. And I get penetrated first. Since I’m still a virgin – you’re going to have to romance me to get me relaxed and stretched to take your big ol’ snake."

I rolled over, stretched out and held my arms out to him. He grinned. "That’s more like what I’ve dreamed..." He crawled up my body and lay down on top of me. "’cept I’m supposed to be on the bottom," he muttered.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the tip of his nose. "Next time. This time you’re on top."

"How’s that supposed to work?"

"Make love to me, Sammy, and I’ll show you."

So he did, and I did, and we had a wonderful first time with no pain, but lots of pleasure. Then we traded places – well, not places, but roles. Like I said, I’d always been the aggressor, but Sammy had expressed his desire, so for the first time I let a man enter me. Since he was the man I wanted for the rest of my life, he was the only one that ever would. I discovered that I loved it as much as the other way... probably because it was Sammy.

* * *

As we drove back up to the Stockton ranch, (I’ve never really thought of it as mine. I’m only the caretaker for my time. It’ll pass on most likely to Josh’s twins when my time is done.) Sammy studied me for a bit, then said, "That was your first time, too. Wasn’t it?"

I smiled at him, nodded and ducked my head.

"So why didn’t you tell me?"

"I wanted you to enjoy your first time riding me and didn’t want to make you nervous."

"I love you, Jack, more’n I’ll ever be able to express."

"Sammy, you did a wonderful job of expressing it less than an hour ago. And if I have my way you’ll be expressing it again in a couple of hours, and hopefully again tomorrow morning." His eyes lit up and I added, "You know that I love you just as much."

* * *

As we approached the ranch house, I noted that Gran’s big ol’ Town Car, Jake’s Chevy pickup (handed down from Josh) and Sammy’s big Ford pickup were the only vehicles there. I pulled into the circular drive and stopped at the walk leading to the house. Jake was laid back in one of the rocking chairs on the veranda with his boot heels parked on top of the railing. We got out and when we reached the top step, Jake asked with a big shit eatin’ grin, "Well?"

Straight faced, I looked at him and asked, "Well, what?"

Jake did a weird face, bugging his eyes. "Is Sammy or is Sammy not now my brother-n-law?"

I glanced at Sammy and he looked at me, then at Jake, and nodded.

"So you’re moving up here?"

Sammy looked at me and I raised my eyebrows in query. He turned back to Jake and nodded.

"Cool." With a satisfied smile, he closed his eyes and rocked gently. We’d been dismissed by my youngest brother.

Sammy headed into the house. I hurried after him, grabbed his arm and asked, "Are you sure, Sammy? We haven’t really discussed this."

Sammy grabbed me by the back of my head and kissed me hard. "I’m sure." He headed towards the kitchen where we could hear Gran and Dad Bowden.

They looked at us kind of like they were waiting for us to say something. When we didn’t, Gran asked, "Well, you did discuss it... didn’t you?"

I shook my head while Sammy nodded his. Dad Bowden grinned and Gran looked puzzled. At that moment J.C. ran in and grabbed his daddy’s leg. "Daddy, ya gotta come see my room. It’s right next to yours and just down the hall from Granddaddy’s." He’d grabbed his daddy’s hand and Sammy reached down and picked him up. "Wait a minute and you can show it to Jack and me."

"It’s way cool, Daddy. I really like it."

While Sammy grabbed J.C. and gave him a hug, I grinned at Gran and Dad Bowden and commented, "It seems that someone discussed it and came to a decision for us."

Gran smirked. "Well, someone had to. If it was left up to you two it’d..."

I interrupted her. "Gran you just asked the wrong question. We didn’t discuss it, but we did come to a decision."

Exasperated, she asked, "Just how do you make a logical decision without discussion?"

I felt like I’d turned red right down to the tips of my boots. Dad Bowden cleared his throat and she turned her glare on him. He blushed, too, and I just stood there with my arm around my partner’s shoulders, his arm around my waist as we grinned like a couple of idiots. And that’s how the celebration of Gran’s seventy-fifth birthday ended.