---

Max lay with his head on Joseph's shoulder after their long session of making love. Both were a bit torpid after trying to fuck each other senseless. Joseph was just dozing off, when Max rolled away from him and sat up facing his lover. He drew his heels up to his butt while grasping his big toes and studied his toes intently, then glanced up at Joseph, who was watching him. At twenty-two, Max still came across childlike at times like this. Joseph was fascinated by that, as he was about everything concerning his lover.

"What are you thinking about, Max?" he asked softly.

Max hesitated, closely examined his toes, then looked up into Joseph's eyes.

"Something you said on the phone a couple of weeks ago."

"What was that, Love?"

Max loved the endearments that Joseph called him. He paused a moment to relish it, and then forced his mind back to the thought. "That you might end up in bed with other guys, but I would be the only one you'd ever love."

"Look, Max, what I meant was-."

"Hush. I understand what you meant, and I agree. It's unfair for either of us to expect the other to be celibate, living a continent apart. We're both men, and as men, we like… want… need… sex. I understand all that."

Joseph couldn't believe what he was hearing from Max. He studied him a moment, and wondered if he really meant what he was saying, or was he still trying to assuage the situation.

"After what you've put me through, are you giving me permission to fuck other guys?" Even though he quietly asked, the incredulousness in his voice shouted what he'd left unsaid.

Max dropped his eyes and said, "You don't really need my permission."

Joseph rose up, supporting his upper body with one arm. With his other hand, he grasped Max's hands that were wrapped his big toes together. "Max, after all that's happened after Allen, I couldn't think of having sex with anyone but you."

"But you and I don't have sex. What I mean is that- yes, we have sex, but it is an expression of our love for each other. It's never just sex. Doing it with anyone else---- it would just be sex… getting our rocks off. You see what I'm saying."

"I understand completely, but if you want us to be monogamous, I swear I will be. My hand and I get along just fine."

Max was quiet. Joseph sat up and watched him, wondering what his response would be, wondering where this conversation was going.

"It looks like I'm in a catch 22 situation. I guess I need to come clean with you." Max paused.

Joseph held his breath. 'Had Max had sex with someone? Was pious, sanctimonious little Max going to make a confession?' He shocked himself, realizing that was how he'd come to picture his lover. And then he felt the guilt wash over him. If Max had had sex with someone, then he, Joseph, was responsible for putting him into that situation.

"Before I left last fall," Max continued, "I'd become the bad guy in the eyes of our family and friends. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty. This is just what was going on in my view of things. Nobody, not even Dave, saw that my self-image had been devastated. I felt worthless, unworthy of your love and fidelity. As everyone kept pushing me to forgive you, I felt more and more unworthy. Oh, I felt self righteous, too. So, even if you had said you loved me at that point, I couldn't have accepted it, because of my resisting everyone's pushing.

"I didn't understand any of this until quite recently. Actually, the realization came the day that I called you. I'd built a shell around myself. No one could get through to me. Claire, I think, is the only one that could see that I was in pain ...and maybe Ben… I don't know."

Max paused and considered what to say… how to proceed. "I think I told you a long time ago about this kid that used to pick on me when we lived up north. His name's Jim. Well, I walked into the gym one morning and there was this striking, big fellow working out. We eyed each other for a bit, and then he came over and let me know that he'd figured out that I was Max from back in eighth grade, and that he was Jimmy, the kid that picked on me. He admitted that he'd had a crush on me, but at that time he couldn't deal with it. Also, he thought I was straight. Well, I admitted to him that even though he picked on me, I'd had a crush on him, too.

"To shorten a long story, we've become good friends. Ben, my other friend came back from his vacation. And when those two guys saw each other - it was instant love. They disappeared on me for about four days, and I felt like even my friends didn't value me. Claire scolded me for taking their disappearance so personal. When they showed up again, wanting me to join them in a morning run, Claire came up to my apartment with a plate of cinnamon rolls. She was teasing the two guys about their disappearance after meeting, and managed to really embarrass them - I found that hysterically funny. You've got to understand, I hadn't laughed at anything in months. Once I started laughing, I couldn't stop. Next thing I knew, I was bawling my head off while Claire held me.

"There must have been some kind of mental communication between her and Ben, because he picked me up and carried me over to the bed. Claire left, and Ben undressed me and put me under the covers. Then, he and Jim stripped, and crawled in and cuddled me. All this time, I was still sobbing, although less hysterically. They soothed me and got me quieted down. I eventually realized that I was sandwiched between the two naked hunks, and that we all three had roaring hardons.

"At first, I resisted and tried to get away, but they just held onto me, caressing and talking to me, telling me they loved me and that everything was going to be okay. Finally, I calmed down and relaxed. Soon, I found myself humping against Jim's belly, which in turn, rubbed my crack on Ben's hardon. Nothing was said about the sexual part of what was happening. They just continued telling me that I was loved. I came really hard… and they followed. I guess I fell asleep from exhaustion, because I woke up six hours later, alone in my bed… all cleaned up.

"As I woke up, I realized that it was the first time in a long time that I felt good about myself… loved. That was when I called you. Even after our conversation, which didn't sound too promising, I still felt like the future would be brighter, because I have two close friends that really love and care for me." Max looked Joseph in the eyes, begging that he comprehended.

"So, these two big bears seduced you."

"No. They did not seduce me. They healed me. Yes, there were hardons and climaxes, but it wasn't about sex. There was no fondling, no kissing. It was about forcing me to see that I was loved and cared for. They did this to make me feel like a love-worthy human being again."

"I see." Joseph rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"Joseph, Ben and Jim are like two big brothers to me. They love me as a friend, and I love them the same way."

Joseph rolled back to face his little lover. He pulled Max up against himself. Holding him snugly with one arm, he stroked his back with the other. "I'm glad you've made such good friends. I am so sorry I made you feel that way, Max. I really fucked up. I'm so sorry."

Max held on to him and kissed the soft smooth skin on his chest. "It's all in the past now. Let it all be forgotten."

"There's no way I'll ever forget what I did to you. I promise Max, I'll never hurt you again."

Max thought to himself 'Never say Never. Never doesn't exist.' He glanced up at Joseph who still held him close. "I have made another good friend that I haven't told you about… I ran into Allen a few weeks ago."

"Allen?" Joseph let go of Max and sat up, looking like he was ready to go hunt him down. "What was that bastard doing in L.A.?"

"He's going to school at UCLA, too. I was out for a run when I heard my name called out. I didn't recognize him. He's changed so much. He's slimmed down and toned up more than he used to be. He's cut his hair real short. Plus his whole demeanor has changed. He's lost his arrogance. He's not the macho bully he used to be."

"He's still a bigoted ass."

"No, Joze, he's really not." Max studied Joseph for moment before adding' "He's a nice guy. I swear you'd like him."

"Yeah, I used to like him... even when he wasn't a very nice guy." Joseph said bitterly.

"Did he ever tell you what he was going through with his father?"

"I know his father was a bigoted, prejudiced asshole. And that he beat the shit out of him when he found out that Allen had let me fuck him."

Max winced at Joseph's bluntness. "Remember all the nasty things I told you that he said to me about you?"

"Max, I feel more guilty about not having believed you, than I do for what I did with Allen."

"Well, I've learned that Allen was just parroting what his dad was always saying. I don't believe Allen really believed any of it. He profusely apologized to me. He explained that he felt guilty for seducing you."

"Is that what he told you?"

"More or less."

"And you believed him."

"Yes."

"Wait. I can't accept that."

"Joze, stop and think. Do you think that if he'd really felt and believed what he was saying to me, that he'd have seduced you and let you fuck him?"

It was Joseph's turn to wince at the bluntness. "I don't know. I didn't realize he was so fucked up."

"Did you know that his father raped him nearly every day, from the time he was ten years old until he ended up in the hospital that day?"

"Jesus… that's sick."

"Allen put up with it, hid his shame… and tried to be a normal kid for all those years."

Joseph flopped back on the bed. "Oh, my God. How could something like that happen and nobody know about it?"

"Hey, it apparently happens all the time."

"Oh, man. Poor Allen."

"So you understand why I've made amends with him and have become his friend?"

Joseph sat up, hugged Max, and planted a big kiss on his lips. "Yeah, 'cause you're a good guy. I love you, Babe."

Max basked in his praise.

"Do you suppose we should make an appearance? I haven't seen my parents yet."

"Yeah, I suppose so. I'm sure everyone is wondering about us."

"Well, if I wasn't starving, I think it would be fun to make them all wonder until tomorrow." He paused a moment, and then groaned, "Oh, God, I don't want to have to hear everyone telling me that it's about time I made up with you."

Joseph snickered. "Well, they're right… you know."

"Yeah, how well I know." He glanced over at Joseph and asked with a big grin, "Have I told you that I love you?"

"Not for a long time. Not for at least half an hour."

"I am remiss. I love you, Joze." He rose up on his knees, lay down on top of Joseph, and started kissing his neck. Joseph's hands were all over Max, exploring, feeling every inch of his hard little body again. He ended up cupping his muscular butt cheeks and pulling him down firmly against his growing hardness. A thought of how Jennifer's soft butt felt, compared to Max's hard muscular buns, froze him for a second. Max picked up on it, and pulled back to look at him. "What?"

"It's nothing. I'll tell you some other time. We have more important things to do right now."

Dave glanced at the guest bedroom door for the fiftieth time in the last half hour. Joe grinned at him. "They'll come out when they're ready, Babe. Stop worrying. After all the moans and groans all afternoon, you should be enjoying the peace and quiet."

"What do you think they're doing?"

"Well, if they're anything like us, they are either sleeping, or they're talking while they're recuperating and getting ready to go at it again."

Dave thought for a few seconds. "Are we getting old, Joe? We haven't had a marathon like that for a while."

"Sheesh, you must be, Dave. As I recall, it was less than a week ago that you tried to rape me when I came back from that trip to Cincinnati. What was it? Three orgasms before you'd had enough?"

"It was only two… but you had three," Dave said, grinning in recollection.

"Well, I was horny for my Dave." Joe grinned back.

Dave stretched up and kissed Joe on the chin. Joe took Dave's head between his hands, bent down and planted a kiss on his lips, invading his mouth with his tongue. Dave responded with a groan of pleasure. They didn't hear Max and Joseph enter the room.

"Do you think we'll still be doing that when we're as old as those two?" Max asked.

"God, I hope so." Joseph replied fervently.

Dave sat up, trying to look dignified, but failing miserably. Joe just chuckled. "Did you two do enough making up?" he asked.

Max grinned. "Nope, we just came up for air and some food."

"Your mother has called up here four times, Max. Maybe you should drop down and say 'hi'."

The phone rang. Joe answered. "Yes, Mom, they just came out. I don't see any bruises on either one of them. And they're both grinning, so I guess everything is alright. Sure, Mom." He held the phone out to Joseph. "Your grandmother wants to speak to you."

"Hi, Gram. … It's not fair, wanting me to answer that kind of question. … Yes, we're back together. … You know we'll be there. … No, I haven't given him a chance. … Yes, we'll go right down there. … See you tomorrow, and give Granddad a hug for me. … I love you, too, bye." He handed the phone back to his uncle. "I can sure see where Mom gets it."

"They love you Joseph, and they worry about you."

"Yeah, I know. Come on, Max, let's go see your parents. Oh," he said, turning back to his uncles, "it is okay if we stay with you through our vacation?"

"Where else could you do what you've been doing?" Joe asked.

Joseph looked nonplussed for a moment. Max beat him to the answer. "A motel," he said with a smirk.

"You know without asking, that you're welcome to stay with us," Dave said.

"We love you guys," Max said.

Joseph simply nodded agreement as Max pulled him out the door leading to the stairs down to his parents' condo.

The door to Johnny and Tim's unit opened as they entered the foyer. Tim stepped out, not noticing the two young men.

"Hey, Tim, Merry Christmas." Max called out.

Tim whirled around in surprise. He took in the fact that they were holding hands, and that both were slightly flushed. He grinned at them. "Hey, it's good to see you two back together. Merry Christmas." He turned and yelled back into the condo, "Johnny, come out here, look who I found."

Almost immediately, Johnny came out. Seeing Joseph and Max together, he grinned and wrapped his arms around them and hugged them. "Damn, I'm happy to see you two." He pulled back and looked, first at Max, and then Joseph. "So is everything fixed between you two?"

They grinned at him and nodded.

"Are we going to be seeing you at your mom's tomorrow?"

"Of course, neither of us is brave enough not to be there. Grandmom would hunt us down like a couple of coyotes." Joseph answered.

"Yeah, with both our moms right beside her," Max added.

Mary, hearing voices in the foyer, opened the door to see her son, with Joseph standing next to him, an arm around his shoulders, talking to her neighbors. "Max… Joseph… it's about time you two came up for air."

Joseph's arm slipped from Max's shoulders as Max moved to give his mother a hug and a kiss on her cheek. Mary returned them, then turned to Joseph, pulled him into a hug and kissed him, too. "All of you come in."

"We've still got some last minute shopping to do, Mary," Johnny said. "But we'll be seeing you tomorrow at breakfast for sure."

"Well, have fun shopping at this late date," she said, gathering her two boys and ushering them into the living room as she called out, "Lloyd, the boys are here."

Lloyd came out of the bedroom in his stocking feet. He had eyes only for his son at first. He pulled him against his chest and just held him for a moment, then kissed his forehead, then held him at arm's length where he could look into his face. "Are you okay now, Son?"

Max smiled, filled with love for his dad. "I'm doing great, Dad."

Lloyd hugged him again, and turned to Joseph with a welcoming smile. "And how is my fourth son doing?" he asked, as he wrapped his arms around Joseph.

Joseph lost whatever insecurities he had, and hugged his father-in-law. "I'm doing great, too, Dad, now that Max and I are back together."

"Well, I'm happy for the two of you. Be good to each other," he admonished, looking from Joseph to Max.

Max put an arm around Joseph's waist as Joseph's arm landed around his shoulders. "We've both matured a lot, Dad. Things will work out for us," Max said.

Joseph simply smiled and nodded.

At that moment, Gary came bounding out of his bedroom. "Is that Max I heard out here?" Seeing his brother, he rushed up to him, grabbed him around his waist, lifted him up, and whirled around a couple of times. Max hugged him around his neck and prayed he wouldn't fall.

"Hey, he's my man. Put him down," Joseph growled.

Gary stopped, and set Max on his feet. "He's my brother. I'll hug him if I want." He grinned impudently at Joseph and stuck a hand out to shake. "Welcome back." Max grinned, and his parents smiled as they watched the interchange.

Joseph became serious as he took Gary's hand. "Thanks, Gary. And thanks for your Thanksgiving Day message. You don't know how much that meant to me."

"Hey, that's what brothers are for." Gary punched his shoulder and pulled his hand out of Joseph's.

"Have you boys eaten?" Mary asked.