---

Thanksgiving was approaching. Ben was taking a two week vacation from his work and was heading up the coast to see his family. Claire brought the subject up to Max and inquired if he was going home.

"No, it's just too far for a four day weekend," he told her.

"Nonsense. If you leave here Wednesday after class you could be home by midnight. Catch a plane back on Sunday morning so you'll be fresh for class Monday morning."

"You have it all planned out don't you?" Max grinned at her.

"I think this is something you need to do, Max."

He'd previously told his parents that he planned on staying in L.A. and having dinner with his landlady, but as Max thought about it, he decided that it was time to straighten things out with Joze. After the fiasco with Ben, Max realized that his straight laced, unbending attitude was now rather hypocritical. He admitted that Joze was only human and deserved to be forgiven. And even though they'd be going to different schools it was time to mend things and be one again. He sighed. "You're right."

Max decided that he'd make his arrival a surprise. When he landed in UniCity it was 1:23 a.m. He was glad that he'd made a reservation for a car, because there were certainly no taxis waiting curbside. He stopped at the Courtesy Desk in the main lobby and picked up the keys waiting for him.

He pulled under the portico and walked into the lobby of the Tower.

"Hey, Jerry," he greeted the guard on the desk.

"Max, welcome home."

"I'm bushed. May I leave the keys to the car with you and I'll find out in the morning where to park it."

"No sweat, Max. I'll keep an eye on it."

Max quietly slipped his key into the door of his parent's condo. There was no way he could keep the door from making a loud double click as it latched closed. He waited a moment to see if the sound had awakened anyone and sighed with relief when all remained quiet. He thought he'd just quietly go to bed and surprise everyone in the morning. He pulled off his jacket and laid it over the back of the sofa and tip toed to his old bedroom.

Lloyd was just getting back into bed after relieving his bladder when he heard the entry door close. He listened and heard a bedroom door close. 'Surely, Gary hadn't sneaked out and was just coming back in,' he thought. He slipped on his robe and went into the hall and listened. There was no sound coming from Gary's room. He opened the door and saw his youngest son sprawled over his bed lightly snoring. He quietly closed it, turned and looked down the hall. There was light coming from under Max's bedroom door. Lloyd's heart skipped a beat before he hurried over to the door and knocked. Max opened the door and sheepishly grinned at his dad.

Lloyd immediately pulled his son into a hug. "Max, it's so good to see you. How are you doing, Son?"

"Claire insisted that I come home."

"I'm glad you listened to her."

"Me, too, Dad. I've really missed you."

Lloyd hugged him again. "Well, get to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Dad."

As Lloyd turned to go back to his bedroom, Max called out to him, soto voce, "Hey, don't tell Mom I'm here. Let me surprise her."

Lloyd grinned and nodded before closing his door.

Max lay in the darkened room planning how he was going to apologize to Joze and try to make up with him. He wondered if Joze would forgive him for being such a self righteous ass. He never stopped to wonder at his change of attitude.

Lloyd was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper and sipping on his second cup of coffee when he saw his wife shuffling towards him. With only one, nearly grown, son still in the nest, Mary had reverted back to not being a morning person. Lloyd smiled at her. She wrinkled her nose at him and headed for the coffee pot.

"What are you supplying toward the 'dinner' this afternoon?" he asked.

"Thank goodness, I am only doing the relishes and a gelatin salad mold," Mary mumbled. She stood in the kitchen door looking at the jacket thrown over the back of the sofa.

"Who's doing the turkeys?" With the whole Paolini, Darcy and Brown clan gathering for a Thanksgiving meal it took three turkeys.

"Mom, Miki, and Mabel." She picked up the jacket and examined it. She turned with a quizzical look at her husband. "Is Max here?"

Lloyd grinned and nodded. "He came in around two this morning. He wants to surprise you."

"Oh, my sweet boy. Did you talk to him? Does he look well?"

"Yes, I was up taking a leak when he came in. He looks great, Mary."

She laid the jacket back over the sofa and sat down at the breakfast table. "I guess I'll have to act surprised."

Lloyd smiled and nodded.

Gary stopped in the doorway and stretched, then ambled over to the fridge and pulled out a jug of orange juice. After downing a glassful, he wiped his lips and grinned at his parents who sat watching him. "You guys ready for some of my pancakes this morning?" he asked. His gaze went past his mother falling on the jacket lying on the back of the sofa. "When did Max get in?"

"Early this morning," Lloyd answered.

"Fantastic." Before Mary or Lloyd could say anything, eighteen year old Gary, now 6'1" and weighing 198, ran down the hall, threw open Max's door and with a flying leap, landed on his older brother yelling, "Maxy," and then licked him up the side of his face. Max's eyes flew open as he grunted.

He couldn't help but laugh as he squirmed trying to get Gary off him. "Damn Gary, you aren't a little boy any more. You've got to stop doing that."

"It's so good to see you. I'm so glad you came home."

"I love you too, you big oaf. Now get off me and let me get up."

"So you changed your mind."

"Yeah, I couldn't stand the thought of not watching you stuff your face."

"If you'd eaten as much in your growing days as I do, maybe you'd have grown more, short stuff." Gary stood straight and tall, strutting his stuff for Max. The operations on his back seven years ago had been totally successful. Even the surgical scars were barely noticeable. Gary had missed much of the school year when he'd had the operation and was now a high school senior.

Max started to say something smart assed back and then recalled how fortunate Gary was. He grinned and shook his head. "Yeah, you're right."

Gary knew what Max was thinking and ducked his head. He knew just how lucky he was to not be a crippled gimp. "I've missed you, Max. "

Max slid off the bed and embraced him. "I've missed you too, Gare."

Gary clung to him a moment and then pushed him away. "Hey, get dressed; I'm making my famous pancakes this morning."

"Does Mom know I'm here?"

"Of course she does, doofus, you left your jacket on the back of the sofa."

"Oh, I was going to surprise her."

"She probably was when she saw your jacket, but you missed it."

"Yeah, I missed it." Max muttered to himself thinking of other matters.

Gary stood at the door watching his older brother. "Max, you don't have to sweat it. Joze isn't going to be here." He turned and headed for the kitchen before Max could question him.

Startled, Max looked up at the space Gary had occupied. Disappointment washed over him, leaving him enervated. He abruptly sat on the edge of the bed. His mind had blanked. He couldn't think beyond Joseph not being here.

He eventually slipped into the clothes he'd traveled in and went into the kitchen. Mary's back was to him; he walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Surprise, Mom."

Mary stood up and embraced her middle son. "Oh, Max, I'm so happy you decided to join us after all."

"Me, too, Mom." she wondered at the lifelessness in his voice.

When Mary released him, he walked around the table and hugged his dad.

"I sure do love you, Son. Don't you ever forget that," Lloyd told him.

"Thanks, Dad. I love you, too." Max wandered over to the coffee pot telling himself that he needed to get his act together for his family. He went back to the table and sat in his usual place. Gary was busy cooking bacon in the microwave. He turned and noticed that his mother and Max were watching him. "Hey, both of you... stick your heads in the paper. I don't want you seeing how I put together my secret ingredients."

"Let me tell you how to do it, Gary," Max said, with a big grin. "First you take the biscuit mix and add egg and milk. Mash up a banana, mix it in with a bunch of chopped pecans and crumbled bacon."

"Mom, Max cheated somehow."

"Gary, dear, if you'll recall, I taught Max to make them a couple of years before I showed you how."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess you did." Chagrined, he went back to his mixing.

"Gary, it's still special, being that you are making them for me," Max said. Gary beamed.

Lloyd lowered his paper and winked at Max and shook his head in wonder. 'Where did my little belligerent boy go? And who is this mature young man sitting at my table.'

"Where is the big dinner being held this year?" Max asked.

Mary held her paper up seeming not to hear the question. Max noticed her hands quivering, and that Gary froze; he turned and looked at his dad. Lloyd lowered his paper and looked at his son with sympathy. "At the Darcy's, Son."

Mary dropped her paper and studiously watched for Max to react. Gary was still frozen with his mixing spoon dripping batter on the floor.

"Why didn't someone tell me this before I left L.A.?" Max quietly and calmly asked.

"There was no need to tell you if you weren't coming home. And you weren't coming as far as we knew."

"Besides, like I told you," Gary said, "Joseph won't be there. He's going up to Boston with a friend."

Max's thoughts spun. Joze won't be there. New friend. Boston. How dare Joze find someone new? Dave must have been lying to him, when he told him that Joze refused to let anyone get through his guard. 'I guess Claire isn't as clairvoyant as she thought she was,' he thought.

Max stared straight ahead, his face an open book for anyone to read his emotions and thoughts. Mary placed a comforting hand on his arm. Max was unaware of it.

After the incident with Ben, he'd decided to talk to Joze, he'd come all this way just to see him, and Joze wasn't here... he was in Boston... with his new friend.

Max hadn't been in the Darcy's home since that horrible day. The idea of spending the day there was out of the question, simply too mind crushing to think about.

He relived the last time the family had gathered. It had been for his going away party up at Dave and Joe's. He'd succeeded in thoroughly embarrassing himself and Joseph. There was no way he could face his extended family, not having the chance to make up with Joseph beforehand. He came to a decision and stood up. "Listen, this isn't going to work. I loved seeing you again, but I've got to go."

"What do you mean? You barely got here," Lloyd said.

"Max, really, you are being unreasonable. You know that everybody would love to see you. Miki was saying just the other day that she and Rence had come to think of you as a third son. At least make an appearance and say 'hi'," Mary begged.

Max shook his head. "No, I'd planned on seeing Joze before the dinner. Now, it would be too embarrassing." He went into the bedroom grabbed his travel bag that he hadn't even opened and came back out. His family was lined up next to the door. He stopped and balefully looked at them. "Look, I just can't do this. I didn't stop to think about seeing everyone again after the debacle at the going away party."

"We wish you would stay," Mary said.

"I'll come back during winter break and stay a while."

"It is your decision, Son," Lloyd said, the disappointment in his voice tugged at Max.

"I have something for you to take with you," Mary said, as she hustled out of the room.

Max, Lloyd and Gary stared at each other while they waited.

"Max, you know I'm sorry for pushing until you exploded at the party," Gary said.

"It's forgiven and forgotten, Gare."

Lloyd stepped up to his son and enfolded him in an embrace. "For your own good, you need to do the same with Joseph, Max, even if you two never get back together. Not forgiving him is eating at you. It's time to start healing, Max."

"I know you're right Dad. I'd planned on talking to Joze today. I just don't know. It hurts as much now as the day it happened."

"You'll find a way, Son."

'I thought I'd found a way, but I was too late. Joze has moved on,' Max thought.

Mary hustled back into the room with a wrapped package. "Here you go. Don't open it until you get on the plane."

Max took the package, knowing it was the shoebox with all of Joseph's letters. He hugged them each, then opened the door, turned and looked back. Mary had tears in her eyes and Lloyd looked like Max had just broken his heart. Gary had left the room. "I'm sorry. I just can't do it," he muttered, let go of the door and walked across the foyer to the elevator.

At the same time that his elevator door opened, another one for the lower floors opened, and a tall stately black woman stepped out. The two of them stared at each other for a moment before the woman spoke. "You're Max." It was almost an accusation.

He nodded.

"My grandson loves you. You have punished him enough. It's time to make up."

Max blinked. His mind was racing in an attempt to place her. And then he realized she had to be Uncle Rence's mother. He quickly found his voice. "I know. That's why I came home."

Mabel's heart went out to the diminutive young man. She pulled him into her bosom and caressed the back of his head. "Oh, you poor boy, and Joseph decided to stay at school."

Max pulled away from her.

"He's in Boston with his new friend."

Mabel, new to being around gay people and unfamiliar with the meaning placed on certain words missed what Max had inferred.

"Listen, I'll make sure that my grandson is home for Christmas. You be sure to be here too. That's only a month away."

"I'll be here."

"It's obvious to me that you are each what the other needs."

"I know."

"So, Christmas then," Mabel said, and walked across the lobby to the garage door.

Max went to the desk and retrieved his keys. He was almost across the lobby heading for the door when he saw his uncles with four other men jogging toward the driveway. He knew everyone of them; his Uncle Johnny and Tim and the other two were Charley and Jake, his uncles by adoption.

He'd just have to brazen it out. He knew they'd stop and stretch before coming in, so he stepped out, opened the car and dropped his bag on the seat. Dave and Joe were both beside him when he turned around.

"Max, we weren't expecting you. How long are you staying?" Dave said, wrapping Max in a hug.

"I... I... I'm headed for the airport now."

"I don't understand. Today is Thanksgiving." He let go of him and stepped back.

"You didn't even come up and say 'hi'," Joe added. There was no friendliness in his voice; he'd long ago lost any sympathy for Max when he continued to refuse to talk to Joze.

Max felt like he'd been forced into a corner; he came out fighting. "You lied to me. Joze has a new boyfriend. He's in Boston with him now."

Dave looked like he'd been slapped. "I'd never lie to you, Max. They are only friends."

Joe had had enough of Max's petulant, spoiled child behavior. "Why would you care, anyway? You treat him like shit. I don't know what the hell he sees in you. You're just a self-righteous little asshole. You are the most unforgiving fucked up person I've ever met. Joze may have screwed up. He's only human and he sorely regrets what he did. But you..... Hell's bells, you're...you're just disgusting." He turned and walked into the lobby. Dave stared after his lover in shock. Never before had he heard a foul word out of Joe's mouth.

No one had ever spoken to Max like that. It shook him to his core. He wanted to yell out and tell them that he'd come home to talk to Joze... that he'd forgiven him. But he, too, just stared opened mouth after Joe. Dave put a hand on his shoulder. Max shook it off. "I've got to go," he said and got into his car, started it and sped down the driveway. Ignoring the four other men standing there watching. Dave stared after him.

Three hours later he was on a plane back to L.A. He gazed out the window, not seeing anything. He felt numb. Joe's harsh words had a profound effect on him. For the last few months Max had treated Joze as something lower than dirt. Of course, he'd move on. Joze had found someone else. Max couldn't blame him. But why did Dave insist that Joze and his new friend weren't lovers?

He became aware that he still held the package that his mother had given him. He knew what it contained. Well... since it was all over, he'd go ahead and read the letters before tossing them. He unwrapped the box and lifted the lid. For a long time he simply stared into the opened box at all the letters.

Eventually, he forced his numb fingers to pick up the top envelope. He looked at the date it had been mailed. Nov.23... only two days ago. He studied the neat printing, mentally comparing it to his own nearly illegible scrawl.

Turning it over, he ran his finger over the sealed flap. In his mind he could see Joze lick the glued surface and carefully press the envelope closed. He stuck is finger under the edge of the flap and tore the envelope open. Extracting the enclosed letter, he held it up and stared at it. He felt that when he read its contents it would be the final dagger thrust into his heart. Joze had moved on and left him with all his hateful anger. Max felt that anger building and forced himself to squash it. It was long past time to get over it.

He unfolded the letter and studied the neat hand writing, not deciphering words, fearful of what they would say. He forced himself to focus. His heart began to pound furiously.

Dearest Max,

My best friend --- (It's strange saying that. You were once my best friend before I messed up. You were my lover too. I guess you still are because I will never find another. There will only ever be you) Anyway, my best new friend has invited me to join his family for Thanksgiving.

Even though Boston is just across the river, I haven't had a chance to explore it. Web is going to give me 'Le Gran Tour.'

Anyway, I don't want to be there if you decide to go home. I can't stand the pain of seeing the rejection in your eyes. I wish things were back to what they used to be and you were going to be with me.

Web's family is one of the oldest families in Boston. He says that they've traced their ancestors all the way back to the Mayflower. I've been wondering if I could trace Dad's family back to the first slaves to be brought to America. I know that many records that record all that stuff have been saved. Maybe sometime in the future when I have the time I'll.....

Max stopped reading. Strange. He'd never really thought about Joze's ancestry. He'd been greatly pained by Allen's nasty bigoted names for Joze, but he'd never thought about where those names came from. He couldn't imagine Rence Darcy being a slave, nor any of his ancestors. He knew the Darcys had come from Louisiana many generations back, but that was all he really knew. He wondered about how he felt having a lover that came from 'slave stock', and decided it was ridiculous to even consider it, although it angered him to think of anyone trying to enslave Joze or his dad.

It dawned on him that he was subconsciously ignoring what Joze had written in the first two lines of the letter. He felt a regretful ache that he was no longer Joze's best friend. He tried to find and build up the anger that he'd so strongly felt in the past, and found only that it made him incredibly sad that he'd let it affect him for so long.

As he analyzed his actions since the day that he'd caught Joze fucking Allen, he no longer felt any rage... just an incredible sadness. Most of that sadness was because he'd never let Joze apologize, that he'd never even thought of forgiving him. He found himself wishing that someone had knocked some sense into him a long time ago. He wished that Joe had spoken those harsh words long before now. He dozed off wondering how he could ever repair the damage he had caused with his anger.