---

Morning eventually arrived. It should have been a cold grey day, but the sky was clear and the temperature was warm. Since Max had an early class he got up, showered and dressed. He stared into the mirror. His hollow, lifeless eyes stared back. Thoughts of staying in his room tempted him. When he walked into the kitchen, he mumbled a barely audible "G'morning" to his parents who were sitting at the kitchen table quietly conversing while drinking their morning coffee. The morning paper that was usually strewn over the table, lay neatly folded and untouched. They looked up at Max with gentle tenuous smiles and waited for him to say something. He stared at them.

"What? I said good morning," he grouched.

Lloyd stood up and walked around the table. Max cringed as his father approached him. The last thing he wanted was pity. Lloyd took the young man into a hug, offering him comfort.

"Are you okay, Son?"

"I'll live," Max mumbled into his father's chest.

"Are you aware that Joseph is in the psychiatric ward in the hospital?" Lloyd asked.

Max pushed away from him and went to the fridge. "That's where the asshole belongs," he muttered.

"Max, watched you language," Mary scolded.

Max turned on his mother. "Just what do you call someone who's ripped your heart out and stomped on it?" he snarled.

Mary blanched. None of her sons had ever used such a tone of voice when speaking to her. She visually gulped and conceded. "I guess your word is good."

Max turned back to his dad and asked, "Why is he in the hospital? I didn't hit him that hard."

"Well, actually you shattered his nose badly enough to require reconstructive surgery. But that's not why he is in there."

His mother interrupted. "By the way, how are your hands?"

"Bruised, but they are alright." He sat down with a glass of orange juice.

"Joseph didn't hit you, did he?" she asked.

"Ha. He didn't have a chance. I rabbit punched him in the face four times, and then kicked him in the nuts and ran."

"So you don't know how he broke his hand?" his dad asked.

"I wasn't aware that he had a broken hand. So why is he in the hospital?"

"He kind of went berserk when you refused to talk to him. He destroyed his room. He ripped his mattress to shreds while cursing Allen Green," Lloyd answered.

"Do you know him?" Mary asked.

"Yeah, I know him." He smoldered. The heat of his anger should have melted the glass in his hand as he stared at it.

"Max, who is this Allen? What did he have to do with this?" Mary asked. She wondered why her husband just stood there, leaning his butt on the edge of the counter, not saying anything.

Max was suddenly uncomfortable talking about his private life with his mother. He'd never said a word to her about how Allen had become his nemesis. He set the half emptied glass on the table and stood up. "A a ah, I've got to get to the library and do some studying before class." Max fled the room, leaving his parents perplexed.

Sitting at the breakfast table after having had a difficult night with their oldest son in the hospital, Miki and Rence, Joseph's parents, were exhausted and haggard. It was half an hour before time for their two younger children to wake up. Angie, Miki's mother, had spent the night with them and hadn't awakened yet either.

"Rence, we are going to have to get to the bottom of this and find out just what happened here yesterday."

"You smelled the marijuana smoke in his room. Joseph is going to have to answer a lot of questions."

"You think he'll be okay? I've never seen anyone as distraught as he was. I wonder what happened to cause him to react like that."

"Mik, you know that Joseph has always been emotional." He wondered for the millionth time if it was because his wife was white and he was black, and then decided that was stupid. Joseph had never complained about any peer harassment from being being mulatto. He mentally kicked himself for using that word, knowing its derogatory origin, but it was commonly used today with most people never knowing its original meaning.

"I'm going to call Mary and see if Max has confided anything to her or Lloyd."

"Well, call me if you learn anything new." Rence sighed, pushing away from the table. "I've got to get my act together. I have an early class to lecture. I'll meet you at the hospital as soon as I can."

It was eleven thirty-five. In the locked psychiatric ward, Joseph sat in the middle of the hospital bed with his legs folded in a half lotus. He held his right hand, swaddled in bandages, against his chest. His fingers were taped to metal splints to keep them from moving. There were pins in three of his metacarpals - the bones in the back of his hand. He'd be lucky if he could hold a football again once they healed. Looking like a raccoon's cousin with two black eyes and a metal form taped over his nose, he stared at the short plump psychiatrist sitting next to his bed.

"I told you. I lost my temper, all right?" he said.

"Don't you think it's rather unusual to destroy everything in your room because of a little temper fit?" The little fat doctor pulled at his shirt which fit a bit too tight, then adjusted his tie. He looked more like a sleezy used car salesman than a doctor.

Joseph looked exasperated. "Don't you think that is better than going after someone and tearing them limb from limb? As an afterthought, he added, "It wasn't a 'little' temper fit. It was one hell of a big one."

"So... are you going to tell me what caused you to lose your temper like that?" The shrink sounded rather petulant.

"As I already told you, as well as the other doctors... and the police. It's none of your business." He glared at the shiny top of the doctor's bald head.

The psychiatrist stared back at him with his resentful, beady little eyes.

Joseph closed his eyes and sighed. "All right, I'll compromise. If I can talk to Dr. Chestnut, I'll tell him everything."

"Dr. Chestnut is a busy man, tell me."

Exasperated with the sweaty little asshole's attitude, Joseph glared at him and succinctly enunciated, "Fuck you."

The doctor's eyes bulged, and then, defeated, he almost whined as he asked, "Why can't you talk to me?"

Joseph mentally grinned as he struggled to sit against the raised head of the bed and pulled the sheet up to his waist before answering. He loved baiting asses like this pompous little man. He looked down at the little balding gnome with his little round glasses perched on the end of his pug nose. He thought of many reasons to give the little creature but settled for one. "Because Allen is human. He won't sit there looking like he is in judgment. He'll hear what I say and know how I feel. You," Joseph snorted, "would only be able to make an assumption. Even then you'd probably be wrong."

The supercilious psychiatrist stood up. "You are an impudent young man. If your father wasn't Professor Darcy, you wouldn't be allowed to get away with this behavior."

"You are wrong, Sir. But there is no point discussing it. Your mind is made up. It was made up before you came into my room. I'll thank you to leave." The tone of Joseph's voice dismissed the little ass.

A few minutes later Joseph's mother walked into the room. "Joseph, why do you have to be rude to the doctors? They're only trying to help you."

"Mom, that little... man... had decided what my problem is before he ever came into this room. There was no point in talking to him. I told him that I will be cooperative with Dr. Chestnut."

"Dr. Chestnut is head of this department. He's much too busy to disturb."

"He's a queer like me. He can understand me."

Miki closed her eyes and then looked at her son. "Why do you have to use words like that?"

"Because they have shock value. They make you hear what I'm saying."

"I'm beyond being shocked by anything you do or say, Joseph. The events three days ago are still unexplained. I just don't understand why any of this happened."

"It happened, Mom, because you raised a very stupid son."

"You are far from stupid."

"I was certainly stupid the other day."

"Why won't you tell me what happened?"

"I'll tell Dr. Chestnut. No - one - else."

"Okay," Miki sighed, "I give in. I'll see if I can get him for you."

Rence hadn't slept well since the day his son was hospitalized in the locked psychiatric ward. He sat down beside his son's bed, sighed and studied him.

Joseph noted how tired his dad looked, and knew he was the cause. "Don't feel bad, Dad. This whole thing was my fault. I deserve to be locked up for losing my temper like that. It's just that I was so angry at myself."

"I just wish you would tell me what happened to push you over the edge like that. I know you were smoking pot and that really upsets me, but I've never heard of it making someone go berserk."

"Dad, I admit that I was stupid to have smoked it. It definitely impaired my thinking. But the effect of it had completely worn off by the time I tore up my room. I... I can't tell you what I was angry about."

"It's not difficult to put the pieces together to figure out what happened, Joseph. You tore up your mattress and destroyed your room while screaming that you were going to kill Allen Green. Max is sulking and won't say anything except to admit that he messed up your face. Gary told his mother that Allen has had the hots, as he put it, for you since you were freshmen. Allen's mother is threatening to sue. She's claiming that you broke her son's jaw and raped him. He's in the hospital with his teeth tied together, also refusing to talk. And to top it all off, his father flayed his backside until it looks like hamburger. He's on the loose and the police are hunting for him as we speak."

Joseph gasped, and covered his face with his bandaged hands. "Oh, my God," he muttered. "Is he okay?"

"He'll recover. I'm sure he'll have more scars than just on his backside from this incident... having been raised by Ron Green."

With tears flowing down his face, Joseph lay staring at the ceiling. He knew this was his own entire fault. He knew that Allen teased Max, but never believed that it was as bad as Max made it out to be. But he should have believed his lover. Max had no reason to lie. He knew also that if he'd said no to the Marijuana that none of this would have happened. He'd brought it all down on everyone's head.

Rence felt helpless as he observed his son's anguish.

Allen lay on his stomach. He was miserable and wished he could turn over, but it would be a few days more before he could do that. There was no pain from his back. The topical anesthetic did a good job. It had taken hours to stitch all the cuts on his back, butt and legs. He slid off the bed and walked over to the window and stared out. 'One good thing to come out of this,' he thought to himself, 'I won't be fucked by that bastard again.' Cold anger and resentment boiled up as he thought about all the years of his old man raping him. He'd long since stopped thinking of him as his father. He wondered if his mother had known what was going on. Well, at least she'd finally put a stop to it. The police had told him that she'd hit the bastard with a large Crescent wrench and knocked him out cold. He wished he could have witnessed that. 'I guess I should forgive Mom and thank her for saving me.'

His thoughts turned to the event that had ended up with the beating. He wondered why he'd always been so mean to Max Brown. He remembered how he'd had a crush on the older boy back when he was fourteen. Max wouldn't even give him the time of day. Joseph was the only one that Max paid any attention to. He'd hated Joseph in those days.

Allen thought about all the ugly derogatory names his old man had for people like Joseph and his dad. He'd used those same words to crush Max, but never had he uttered one of them to Joseph.

An APB had been put out on Ron Green. No arrest had yet been made. The Green's house was being watched in case he showed up. He hadn't shown up for work, nor had he even called in.

The police had interviewed Allen and his mother. Allen refused to talk to them, but his mother had told them everything that she'd heard her husband yelling as he had beaten his son. The doctors had verified that not only had he recently had anal intercourse, but that his anal ring looked to have been stretched from constant abuse.

Dr. Chestnut, the head of the psychiatric department of the hospital, after assessing Allen Green's case, assigned a young doctor to Allen's case. Dr. Chestnut was totally aware that Dr. Verlian had experienced much the same kind of treatment from his father as Allen had. He knew it was going to be a struggle to break through Allen's shell; but if anyone could, he was confident that it would be Terrol Verlian.

Allen had expected a black doctor from the name Terrol. He was surprised when a blonde young man walked into his room looking not much older that himself.

"Hi, Allen. I'm Dr. Verlian. I have been assigned to your case."

"You're a psychiatrist?"

"Yes, I am."

"I don't think I need to talk to you. I've got my head screwed on pretty good."

"Well, in that case, since I've got a free hour... why don't I just sit down and we chat."

"Jocks don't chat."

The doctor laughed. "You're right. My mistake." He walked across the room and sat in the only chair in the room and dropped the folder he was carrying on the floor beside it.

"Since I'm off duty why don't you just call me Terrol."

Allen watched him make himself at home. "How did you get a name like Terrol, it sounds like you should be black."

"Doesn't it though. My mom's two favorite movie stars were Errol Flynn and Terrence Stamp. Hence Terrol."

"I guess we got something in common. My mom told me I was named after some old movie star named Allen Ladd."

"Cool, he played lots of tough cowboy rolls."

"You've seen his movies?"

"A few."

"I've seen a couple. Mom says I look a lot like him."

"You do some. He was a very handsome man."

"I don't look anything like Ron. I don't think he's really my dad."

"Why do you think that?"

"My real dad wouldn't have done the things that Ron did to me."

"What did he do to you, Allen?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You don't have to, but I want to share something with you," Terrol said, stood up and started taking off his shirt.

Allen felt panicky. "What are you doing? Why are you taking off your clothes?"

"Just my shirt, Allen." Terrol dropped his shirt and turned to expose his back to Allen. It was striped with scar tissue. Against his naturally pale skin some of the ridges stood out red and angry looking.

"My stepfather did this. He also raped me at least twice a week from when I was ten until I was sixteen." Terrol pulled his shirt on and started buttoning it. Allen was quietly sobbing. "So don't tell me you don't want to talk about it. Talking about it is the best thing you can do to heal the pain inside."

The police had warned Rence that he and his family might be in danger from Ron Green, who they suspected might have gone over the edge. Rence immediately removed both of his younger children from school and took them to stay with Miki's parents. Miki refused to go into hiding and Rence felt the same way.

Ron Green 'had' gone over the edge, as the police phrased it. He emptied his bank account and bought a high powered rifle and started stalking Rence. He sat in his truck down the street from the Darcy residence waiting for Rence to get home from work.

Wondering why a pickup was parked in front of her house, an observant little old busybody neighbor lady watched Ron through her drawn drapes. When she saw Ron handling the rifle, she called the police.

The police called Rence and told him to stay away until given an all clear. Rence called Miki's office to tell her. She wasn't in. Her secretary thought she may have gone to her mom's to check on the children. With his heart in his throat he called the Paolini's. Miki had just left. No she didn't take the kids. Knowing that Miki wouldn't answer until she was off the street and parked, Rence called her anyway. He kept calling until she finally answered. By then he was in a panic.

"Thank God you finally answered. Where are you?"

"I'm about three blocks from home. Why?"

"Stay where you are. Green has been spotted sitting in his pickup down the street from the house with a rifle. The police are on their way to apprehend him."

"I don't hear any sirens, but a police helicopter just flew over."

"God, Miki, I'm so glad I caught you."

"Me, too, Rence, me, too."

The helicopter circled over the pickup while patrol cars discretely blocked both ends of the street. Ron was suddenly put on alert as a loudspeaker from the helicopter started telling the residents to stay inside and lock their doors. Ron stepped out of his pickup and aimed at the helicopter. A sharpshooter at the end of the street put a well placed bullet into his right shoulder, rendering Ron's right arm useless. He dropped the rifle as he was knocked backwards. Four policemen rushed from between the houses on each side of the street. He staggered, fell to his knees and tried to pick up the rifle with his left hand. Another sharpshooter's bullet shattered the rifle stock. At that point, he was rushed by several policemen pointing their guns at him. As quick as it had started, it was over. An ambulance came up the street into which he was whisked and taken away.

In minutes the neighborhood was again the quiet peaceful place it had always been, except for all the residents out on the street wondering what had just happened.

The Darcys became the main subject of gossip and speculation when the little old lady that had called the cops told how she had seen the oldest Darcy boy a few days ago, standing stark naked in the middle of the front yard, with blood running down his chest, yelling at a departing car.

Dr. Chestnut was slightly aggravated that Joseph Darcy was insisting on talking to him. Although the boy was polite and courteous, he thought him a little spoiled. He had more important things to do than to take on a spoiled teenager. He'd had to laugh to himself after that ugly little gnome, Dr. Affel, had stormed into his office ranting about being insulted by Joseph. It was obvious that Joseph had been correct about Affel having made conclusions before even talking to the young man.

Dr. Chestnut knew the Darcy family as well as all the Browns and Paolinis. He and his partner had become close friends with Dave and Joe after the incident with best-selling author Jake Shipman, and had been to many dinners and parties in their home on top of the Tower since then. He was impressed at the tight friendly unity of the large family and their friends.

Several years ago, he'd personally observed and marveled at the tight relationship between the two young boys, Max Brown and Joseph Darcy. He was surprised that they had still been a couple... until a couple of days ago.

Joseph sat brooding in the middle of his bed, his long muscular legs folded in a half lotus, his shattered hand held protectively against his smooth, well-defined chest. He'd shed the stupid hospital gown and had threatened to remove his boxers, too, if the crotchety old nurse insisted one more time that he wear it. He'd rearranged the sling so that it held his hand up across his chest rather than across his rippled belly.

He glanced up when he heard a slight intake of breath. A grin spread across his face."Dr. Chestnut."

The doctor continued to take in the beauty of the young, nearly naked young man as he smiled and nodded. "Joseph."

"Thank you for giving me some of your time."

"I'm sorry you didn't like Dr. Affel."

Joseph shrugged. "The man is homophobic."

"Really? Did he say anything to give you that impression?"

"He didn't have to, his whole attitude screamed that he didn't like me."

"How would he have known you're gay? You didn't tell him did you?"

"Geez Doc, he had a copy of the police report as well as my hospital records."

"Well, that all aside. I don't have your records and I haven't read the police report. So why don't you tell me what is going on?"

Joseph vigorously nodded. "Yes, I need to tell you. If I were Catholic, I'd have already confessed it all to a priest."

"I'm not a priest, Joseph. I can't absolve you."

Joseph stared at the doctor. Huge tears filled his warm liquid brown eyes and overflowed, streaking down his cheeks to drip unnoticed off his chin. "I know," he whispered. "And I really fucked up."

"I can help you to understand your actions and maybe you can find a way to forgive yourself."

"How can I ever forgive myself when Max won't forgive me?"

"I don't know the answer to that. Why don't you tell me what happened?"

It took a few minutes for Joseph to pull himself together and start talking.

Dr. Chestnut decided that Joseph wasn't a threat to himself, or anyone else. He was released with the agreement that he'd continue to see him on a weekly basis.

Even though Max was a college senior, he still lived with his parents and younger brother in the Tower. He's always been very interactive with all his immediate and extended family. The Paolinis all treated him as one of their own, but then he was twice connected to them. His Uncle Dave was partnered with Miki's brother Joe Paolini, and his brother David was now married to Miki's youngest sister Eve.

He often joked with Joe, sometimes calling him Uncle and other times Brother-in-law. The same with Eve. However, she'd threatened to commit mayhem on him if he ever called her aunt after the first time. David and Eve had given him two little nephews, twins named Maxwell Lloyd and David Joseph.

It had been two weeks since Max had walked into the Darcy house and found Joseph fucking Allen Green. He sat on the floor playing with his nephews as if everything was normal. But if he looked up, one could see that the joie d'vivre no longer danced in his eyes. No one spoke to him of Joseph unless they wanted to be frozen, for his attitude was colder that a Sub Zero Freezer anytime he was mentioned. Everyone was waiting for him to break. Max was aware of it and he was determined that it wasn't going to happen. He kept up his studies. His grades were as high as ever. He was still as friendly as ever, but when he smiled, it was seldom with his eyes.

Dave was the only one that could talk to Max about what was happening with Joseph. Max would sit and listen to his updates showing no emotion. It broke Dave's heart because he knew that Max was hurting as badly, if not more so than Joseph.

When Joseph returned to school, he found that he would no longer be playing sports. His hand would never work well enough to hold or catch a football, or be able to put the finesse on his pitched hard ball again. He blamed it on Allen and swore to Dr. Chestnut he was going to find a way to get back at the bastard. Of course, he was advised to forget it and get on with his life. But even Dr. Chestnut didn't seem to realize that he was only half alive without Max. No one seemed to believe him when he told them that Max was his soul mate, the other half of himself.

Matty Green's husband's cruel ugly words the night she'd taken a wrench to his head were burned into her memory. Matty often wondered how she could have not known all those years that her husband was abusing her son. Surely there were signs that she had missed. She had a difficult time keeping her head up under the weight of all the guilt that she felt.

She had a brother who lived with his male lover near Los Angeles, out in California. She spent several hours on the phone talking to him about her situation. She was worried about Allen. When her brother Carl had offered her a place to live if she would move to California, she discussed it first with Dr Verlian. Dr. Verlian had assured her that Allen was working through what Ron had done to him. And he gave his approval saying that the new environment would probably be good for Allen. She then asked her son if he would like to go. Allen eagerly said yes.

He abhorred the idea of having to face his team mates after ruining Joseph's chance to play. The last thing Allen did before he left for California was call one of his buddies and asked him to deliver a note to Max.

While Joseph was striving to build a new life without Max by visiting Dr. Chestnut twice a week, Max was doing the same on his own. On the Thursday of the fifth week after the 'incident', as he referred to it, as Max walked out of his Advanced Journalism class, he was suddenly thrust face up against the wall with a hand on his neck. A piece of paper was shoved into his rear pocket. And then he was shoved to the floor. When he turned to see who had manhandled him, he couldn't begin to figure who had done it.

He started gathering his books when two black biker's boots appeared before his face. He sat back on his heels and looked up a pair of long legged Levi's, then a tight fitting black tee shirt over a muscular chest, to see a beard of flaming red hair surrounding an amused smile, topped a button nose and two sparkling eyes filled with merriment peering out at him. The wild crown of curly red hair looked like his head might be on aflame. Max grinned in recognition. "Dev? Is that you hiding behind all that wild hair?"

"The devil himself," the red headed young man said, and held his arms out from his sides. "Devon McDaniel at your service."

Max stacked his last book and stood up. "Wow, I haven't seen you since...."

"Since the day you abandoned me and moved to the big city. I swear, Max, the last time I saw you; you were picking up your books. Who should I go after this time?"

Max blinked and grinned. "That was...damn, nearly eight years ago. It's good to see you, Dev. What are you doing here?"

"I transferred here at the beginning of last semester. I knew you were going to school here, but this is the first time I've run into you."

"You could have looked me up in the school registry."

Dev palmed his forehead. "I never thought of that."

"So anyway, where are you living?" Max asked.

"Ah-h, there's this real cool house that this man rents to gay guys. I share with six other guys."

Max was bowled over by Dev coming out to him like that, but he ignored it and went with the house. "Do you know who owns the house?" he asked.

"Yeah, Mr. Gates, the same guy that owns the bookstore across the street."

Max grinned and nodded.

"What?"

"That's my Uncle Dave."

"You're kidding. How cool is that?"

Max picked up his books. "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

Dev grinned and took Max's books. "Sure. Where?"

"Let's dump these books and walk over to the bookstore coffee shop."

The two young men walked out of the building and around a blind corner. Max walked face straight into a muscular body that grabbed him before he fell on his butt and lifted him off his feet as he held him to his chest. "I'm sorry," they said simultaneously.

Max took a deep breath and immediately recognized the body scent. His mind cried out, his heart was breaking all over again. He closed down and pushed away. "Put me down, and back away," he commanded.

Dev looked at Max in surprise.

"Max, believe me I didn't mean to run into you like this," Joseph said.

"I believe you." Max's face was a chilly emotionless mask.

"Please, forgive me, Max."

Max stared through him. "I forgive you."

"I don't mean about running into you. I "

"I said you're forgiven. Now get out of my face."

"Max, please..."

Max ignored his pleading and turned to Dev. "Come on. I don't have time for a loser who prefers to fuck someone who, behind his back, calls him a high yellow nigger."

"Max, I nearly killed him when I realized he was using me to hurt you."

Max shrugged. "You could have believed me. You didn't. We both lost." He turned and walked away.

Dev followed, looking back at the beautiful tall young man. He stopped and watched as he crumpled against the building, and then he ran to catch up with Max. He grabbed him by the shoulder and swung him around and pointed.

Max shrugged. "He's in no more pain than I am." He turned back and started walking. "You want that coffee?"

Dev watched a moment more and then turned and followed Max.

Max brooded over his cup of coffee. Dev sat back in his chair and studied him. "You know, Max, back in junior high school I had such a crush on you. You were the sweetest boy in the whole school. I used to dream that you would fall in love with me. I am thankful it never happened. I'm only human, too."

Max looked at him without raising his head. "You don't understand. We are two halves of a whole. He destroyed the ties that bound us together. We can never be whole again."

"You could try. You just lied to the man. You haven't forgiven him in the least."

Max looked away and didn't reply.

Dev studied Max for nearly a minute and then stood. "You're a hard hearted, unforgiving, sanctimonious ass. Thanks, for the coffee."

Max imperceptively nodded and paid no attention as Dev walked away. He brooded with his head down trying not to think, or to feel. The pain he was experiencing was almost unbearable. If Joseph had approached him at that moment, Max would have fallen into his arms and begged forgiveness.

He jumped when a waitress placed her hand on his shoulder, thinking that he'd fallen asleep, and asked him if he wanted a refill.

"No. No thanks, I was just thinking."

After the waitress had left, Max remembered the note someone had stuffed into his back pocket. He pulled it out and smoothed out the wrinkled wad.

He read:

Max, I guess I got what I deserved. I always hated you, because I wanted you so bad and you always ignored me. Even in getting him into bed didn't get me you, it only got me fucked and fucked up. I can't say I want you anymore, and I certainly don't like you, but Joseph needs you. What happened wasn't his fault. I got him high and seduced him. It was all my doing. So forgive him. A.G.

Max wondered who had stuffed the note into his pocket. Allen was still in the hospital as far as he knew. He wondered who on the football team was close enough to Allen to pass the message to him. His thoughts didn't linger on it. He wasn't really interested.

He folded the note and stuffed it in one of his books and refused to think about what it said. It simply hurt too much. Gathering his books, he tossed his cold coffee in a receptacle and headed home. There was another class he should be heading to but he was too depressed at the moment to even think of trying to listen to the TA drone on about the subject.

Joseph tried to talk to Max several times before he finally gave up. Instead, at Dr. Chestnut's suggestion, he started writing a letter to him on a daily basis. Aunt Mary had informed him that Max wouldn't even look at them, but Joseph had asked her to save them. Maybe someday Max would soften and want to read them.

Mary got a shoe box, marked it "Letters from Joseph to Max" and started filing them away. She set the box where Max couldn't miss it, but Max ignored it. Mary prayed that 'someday' would hurry up. It broke her heart to see Max acting like an emotionless automaton, and Joseph, who she'd come to love as her own, being so miserable.

The school year ended. Max graduated in the top 5% of his class and received his Bachelors. The plan at one time had been for Max to go to Harvard Medical School while Joseph started at Harvard as a freshman. A week after the graduation ceremonies Max sat in first class on a plane headed for LA and the UCLA Medical School.

He stared out the window at the clouds below and fumed about his latest fuck up. Dave had given him a going away party last night. Not only his friends, but the whole family was there, including Joseph.

Max was the center of attention. Everyone was congratulating him on his scholastic achievements. Max had been covertly keeping an eye on Joseph all evening. It was plain to see that the young man's spirit was broken. Max thought he knew a little of what Joze was feeling and had almost convinced himself to cross the room and speak to him when Dave asked, "Have you seen Joseph?"

Max couldn't explain why, but his defenses went up and his heart filled with rebellion. His reply was so cold, Dave let him be. Soon after that, his mother came up to him and said, "This is your last chance to talk to Joseph. You leave tomorrow."

A little later Joe had stopped and made a point of looking at Joseph and then back at Max and shook his head. "To think that I thought of you as one of the gentlest, kindest people I know. Boy, was I wrong." He'd walked away leaving Max stinging.

And then Gary had to put his two cents worth in. "Go on and talk to him, Max. I know you want to."

"Fuck off and leave me alone, Gare," Max snarled.

Gary persisted. "You sure are hard hearted. Look at the poor guy. He needs you, Max."

Max had yelled, "To hell with him, I am not the one that fucked my worst enemy and licked the cum off his chest." He hadn't meant to yell. But he'd been pushed too far. The moment he said it, he regretted it.

One could have heard a feather hitting the ground in that stunned moment of silence. Max looked around the room... horrified. It was filled with staring faces, looking just as horrified. He searched out the door to the stairwell that led down to his parent's condo. Of course, the door was across the room near the elevator. He saw the elevator door open and the back of Joseph's head as he quietly ducked into it and let the door slide quietly closed behind him. All the anger and resentment he'd felt about what Joseph had done sloughed out of him at the moment. He felt a profound sorrow, and a monumental guilt for what he'd done to Joseph over the last few weeks.

Until he'd lost his temper at Gary's persistence, he'd told no one except Lloyd, his dad, what had caused the breakup. Now everyone knew. And he felt fiery rage toward them all. If they'd just left him alone, maybe everything would have been okay. But now everything was in shambles.

Gary laid a hand on Max's arm to apologize for pushing him, but Max shrugged it off, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said, "Excuse me."

He stared straight ahead at the stairwell door as he marched across the room. No one said a word as they moved aside to let him go.

As soon as the door had closed behind him, he screamed at the top of his voice, letting out all the pent up rage in one loud roar. The rage seeped away, leaving him drained and depressed. Standing at the top of the stairs, he considered for a moment throwing himself down them. 'Nah, it wouldn't kill me. So why bother?' he thought, and trudged down them to the next floor.

He opened the door, entered the condo and lifelessly found his way into his room where he flopped face down on his bed. "Thank God I'm all packed and leaving this hell hole tomorrow," he mumbled.

After Max's outburst and exodus, Rence and Miki looked around for Joseph. Dr. Chestnut, having seen Joseph enter the elevator, told them he'd left. They rushed for the elevator, not saying goodbye to anyone; their only concern at the moment was their son. When they entered the lobby, Rence asked the guard at the desk if his son had left the building. "No, Sir, no one from the party has left."

Rence thanked the guard and turned to his wife. "Just as I thought. The elevator opened too quickly for it to have started up from the ground floor."

"Sir," the guard interrupted, "the elevator went from the Eyrie down to the 30th floor just before you came down."

"Oh my God, Rence, do you think he went down to confront Max?"

Rence didn't speculate, he pulled out his cell phone, dialed Joe and told him what was transpiring. Joe looked around the room and saw Tim standing nearby. He related what Rence had told him and Tim headed for the stairs.

As the elevator door closed behind Joseph, he wished himself dead. Max really hated him and he couldn't blame him. He gave no thought to where he was going when he pushed a button and when the elevator stopped, he exited into the foyer of the 30th floor.

Max with his parents lived on the south side and his Uncle Johnny and Tim lived on the north side. He stared at Max's door for a while before he turned and reached out and turned the knob on his uncle's door. If he was surprised that the door was unlocked, he didn't show it. He entered and wandered over to the balcony and slid the glass door open. He stood there several minutes, his mind numb with misery.

Eventually, he stepped out onto the deck and over to the railing. He stared down at the ground three hundred feet below and wondered how long it would take for him to hit the ground. He knew there was a mathematical formula to figure it out, but he couldn't remember it. It didn't matter anyway; it would only be a matter of seconds.

He heaved a big sigh and thought about all his dreams, all the things he'd planned to accomplish. It didn't seem to mean much now. Max didn't love him anymore. And then he thought about all the people that did love him; his parents, his siblings, Grandpa Joe and Grandma Angie, his uncles Joe and Johnny. Uncle Joe especially would be heartbroken if he did it. He couldn't do that to him, or any of them. As he started to turn away from the railing, a hand gently touched his shoulder. "You don't want to do that, Joseph. You're not a selfish person. You can't hurt all the people that love you."

Joseph turned into Tim's arms and laid his head on his shoulder. "I had just come to that conclusion, Tim. I just have to find a way to live without him."

"I'm sure it's hard, Joseph, but life does go on... and time does heal."

"It would be easier if he were dead."

"God, Joseph, don't say that."

"I'm not wishing him dead, Tim. It would be easier to accept that he's gone out of my life if he were dead. That's all I'm saying."

"Yeah, I see what you mean. There's that niggling little bit of hope that he will come back to you. And that is the pits. Isn't it?"

"It's nice that you understand."

"There's something else I understand, Joseph. You may get upset at me for saying this, but once Max is away from here and all the pressure of everyone being on his case is off of him, he will probably have a change of heart.

"I was watching him upstairs before he exploded. At least four different people said something to him about talking to you. Gary was the feather. The two of them started yelling at each other and Max just totally lost it. I'm sure he regrets having done it. So give it time, and maybe he'll come around."

"I don't know at this point if I still hope he does or not. And if he does I don't know how I will feel about him."

"Time, Joseph, time."

"I've got lots of that."

There was a soft knock on the door. Tim turned to answer it. "That's your parents. They were scared you had decided to confront Max."

Joseph shrugged. "God knows I've given them enough reasons to be scared of my violence."

As Tim walked away to answer the door, Joseph turned back to the railing and looked down. He saw a taxi pull up to the front door of the Tower and wondered who it might be for, and then he turned to assure his parents.