Chess lounged in the big roomy back seat of Les's Cadillac. He couldn't help but enjoy seeing his son, Robert, and his new lover, Les, in the front seat holding hands. They thought they were being discreet, but the glances they kept passing back and forth gave them away. They had left Kirksville right after an early breakfast at Sally's Café. They'd be in Uni City by noon. He'd told Sally about what Charley was going through. "You make sure you tell him I'm praying for him," Sally had said.

He could see that the two men in front were holding hands as they rested their forearms on the armrest. It was heartwarming to know that his son and his lover felt comfortable and secure enough with him to do that. But then Chess had always had a close relationship with all three of his sons. For a few years there Robert had pulled away, but now he was back again thanks to Jake and Les.

His thoughts turned to Jake and his heart went out to him. Just in the short time he'd known him he'd gone through so much. And now it sounded like Charley was putting him through hell. Jake had described in detail how proficiently Charley had done his job protecting Dave and Joe. But in all his training with the Kirksville police, and the special training he'd gone though in Chicago, the experts had still left Charley's mind vulnerable to PTSD. Les had explained how a mind that had suffered a traumatic experience could twist everything, and distort one's outlook on life. Chess knew that his youngest son had gone through debriefing when he'd returned from Iraq, but still Charley wasn't recognizing the signs that he was suffering from the trauma of killing another human being.

He recalled a discussion that he'd had with a Jewish Rabbi about the commandment in the Bible, "Thou shalt not kill." The Rabbi had explained to him that the original Hebrew, from which the Bible had been translated, stated "Thou shalt not commit murder." There was a definite difference between murder and killing. Intent was where the difference lay. Charley had killed a man to keep him from possibly murdering.

Chess was impatient to be there. He wanted to hold his son and tell him everything was going to be okay. And he wanted to be there to support his new son, Jake, in this time of difficulty.

If Chess had arrived alone, and if Jake hadn't been standing next to him when his dad wrapped him in a hug, Charley would probably have broken down and bawled. But Robert and his psychologist lover were with Chess, and Jake was with him, so Charley remained stoic and withdrawn. He felt that nobody gave a damn that he was carrying a heavy burden. He inwardly sighed, feeling put upon because he had to act the part of being the host, and welcome them when he didn't even want them there. He watched for a moment as they hugged and greeted Jake, then slowly turned away.

The three men acted like everything was normal. Robert and Les set about helping Jake get ready for the afternoon. Chess had started to volunteer his help, but before he could Jake caught his eye and motioned for him to keep Charley company. So he led his youngest son to the far side of the pool to talk. Chess made a point of talking about any and everything except the cause of Charley's affliction. Charley remained unresponsive and moody. Replying when he had to with a monosyllable or a grunt. While the big T-bone steaks were marinating, Jake prepared a potato salad, Robert did a green salad and sliced vegetables into wedges and chunks to grill along with the steaks. Les filled a plastic tub with several brands of beer and covered them with ice.

When the others began to arrive Chess rose to greet them. Charley continued sitting where his dad had left him and nursed his now warm beer. He resented that these men were invading his privacy. He wanted his dad to himself. It was all Jake's fault. Why was he having a party? Just because his dad and brother came over for the weekend was no reason. All these guys had been picking at him for days, and he didn't want them here on his own private turf.

And then Charley saw Roger walk into the back yard with that young college kid that worked evenings and weekends in the Tower. It didn't occur to Charley that they were now a couple. It pissed him off that Jake had invited them, too. He felt like getting up and kicking the two of them out of his backyard and house, but it would take too much effort and it just wasn't worth it. He sighed and wondered why Gio, Teddy, Pete and Jason weren't making an appearance. He was thankful that they weren't here to gang up on him, too.

Roger walked around the pool with his arm around Brian's shoulders. He ignored Charley's hostility, smiled and thanked him for his hospitality. Charley glared up at the two men. "You two sure are chummy."

"Yep, we are," Roger said as he kissed a grinning Brian on his cheek.

"So, Roger, you're a fucking fag, after all. I'd have thought that you would have told me, being we work together."

Roger almost unloaded on Charley, but remembered what Dave had said about not attacking him about anything. "It just happened a couple of days ago. You are one of the first to know," he said.

Charley just bounced his eyebrows and grunted. Roger could feel Brian's tenseness and knew how he reacted to the word 'fag'. Talking to him in a low voice, he guided Brian away before he exploded at Charley.

Each of the men made a point of walking around the pool and warmly greeting Charley. Dave even took him a cold brew, which Charley accepted with a surly,"Thanks." Charley didn't once bother to get up, nor did he act like he was happy to see them; he was merely civil to them. They left him to himself and visited with each other until the steaks were brought out and put on the grill. Jake had called to Charley that doing the grilling was his job and everyone cajoled him to come cook, but he refused and didn't budge from his lounge chair until the steaks were ready. Then he grudgingly got up and ambled around the pool, got a plate and filled it. It looked delicious and his stomach growled at the aromas.

Chess made a point of insisting that Charley sit next to him at the long trestle table that had come with the house. And Jake sat on his other side. The camaraderie was warm and friendly and the chatter and banter was light until everyone had finished and were just relaxing. Charley had eaten only three bites of his big T-bone, poked at his baked potato and completely ignored the grilled vegetables he'd taken. His appetite had disappeared.

When they had all finished they each carried their plates into the kitchen, rinsed and put them into the dishwasher, everyone except Charley, he simply swivelled on the bench and leaned back resting his elbows on the table. Jake took his plate into the kitchen, wrapped it in plastic and put it into the fridge.

Chess came back out, sat next to him and placed his hand on Charley's shoulder. "You know I love you, Son."

"I love you, too, Dad."

"And you know that Jake loves you." Chess moved his arm around to hold Charley.

"I know that, Dad." Jake sat on the other side of him and took his hand, holding it in his lap. This move seemed to be the signal for the rest of the men to stop their individual conversations and concentrate on Charley.

"And you know that everyone of these men love you and have great respect for you."

Charley could sense that they were going to gang up on him. He tensed and tried to sit up straight, but Chess continued to hold him and talk quietly, soothingly to him. "Son, everyone of these men have expressed their concern about you to me. Their concern is filled with love. Les is one of the top authorities in this country on treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He actually wrote the manual that the Marines use to treat it. He worked with the men coming back from Desert Storm and Sarajevo."

Charley forced his dad to let him sit up. "What does this have to do with me? Why are you telling me this?" He felt panicky.

"Les has volunteered to help you get back on track."

Charley's hostility flared. He looked at Les. "Is this true?"

Les merely nodded.

Charley looked at Jake. "You knew this? You asked him to come here?"

"Your dad told me about Les. Les volunteered." Jake said, refusing to let go of Charley's hand when he tried to pull away.

Charley yanked his hand away and stood. He turned on his dad. "I really didn't expect you to gang upon me with the rest of these ass holes. I thought you would try to understand." He turned and glared at the other men. "Every one of you have been telling me what to do, and what to feel. It's all a crock of shit. Just leave me alone." He started toward the house.

Robert jumped up and stepped in front of Charley, getting right in his face. "Charley, I want to tell you something."

"Get out of my face, Robert."

"You can hit me if you want, but you're going to hear me out."

Charley backed off.

"Sure, I'm your older brother," Robert told him, "but you've always been bigger than me. You've always been better at everything you've done, and I've always envied you. I only dreamed of running off and joining the Marines. You had the guts to do it. And then you came back and became the best motorcycle cop Kirksville has ever had. And to top it off you found yourself one of the best men a guy could ever wish for." He then pointed at the group standing behind Charley. "These men are your friends. They can see that you are in pain and they want to help you. And you're acting like a sniveling dog, like everyone here is picking on you. You can't even face up to your own problems." Robert stopped to catch his breath. "I wonder why I was ever envious of you. You're just a...a coward."

"Robert, that is enough," Chess said. The fight went out of Charley. He'd always taken pride in knowing that Robert, his older brother, looked up to him, but now he was accusing him of being a sniveling dog, a coward. His shoulders drooped.

"You know it's true, Dad." Robert said still staring belligerently into Charley's face.

Les laid a hand on Robert's arm. "Enough, Rob."

Robert turned away and sat back down.

Charley's body visibly slumped in defeat. He stared at the ground as he continued to stand where Robert had stopped him. Chess went to him, putting a protective arm around him. "Son, not one person here is against you, they are all pulling for you. They all love you. They want to see you get the help you need. Come sit down and listen to us. Please?"

Charley wrenched away from him. "Don't you get it?" he yelled. "Don't any of you understand? I killed a man. He was just a boy. I'm a murderer." He dropped to his knees. His voice was barely audible. "So why are you trying to help me? I am beyond help." Tears ran down his face as he retreated into the recesses of his mind.

Jake started to get up and go to Charley, but Les motioned for him to sit and let Charley be. Jake looked around the group of friends. There wasn't a dry eye. Everyone was hurting for him. Chess sat down next to Jake and put a comforting arm around him.

Les settled into a half lotus in front of Charley. Charley continued to stare straight ahead taking no notice of Les. Les looked around the group. "You fellows let me talk to Charley for a bit. Rob, didn't I see you getting the coffee ready earlier?"

Rob took the cue and led everyone, except Jake, into the kitchen.

"Charley, look at me," Les said. Charley stared ahead, never even blinking. Jake leaned forward with his hands clasped between his knees. He was in line with Charley's peripheral vision. Les looked over at him, and motioned for him to leave. Jake ignored him. "Jake, get the hell out of here. This is between Charley and me."

Jake reluctantly got up and went into the house. He turned and watched from just inside the door. Chess stepped up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. Jake clasped it with his own.

They watched Les talk to Charley. Looking at the back of Charley's head, they couldn't tell if Charley was reacting or not. Les reached out a hand and cuffed him on the side of his head and yelled, "CHARLEY." Jake tried to bolt out the door, but Chess held him back.

Charley started rocking back and forth. He threw his head back and let out a primal cry. It was an inhuman sound. It wretched at the heart of every man there, Chess held Jake who still tried to go to his lover. They all watched with lumps in their throats as Charley raised up and then fell onto Les, wrapping his arms around his neck as though he was hanging on for his life. Chess could feel the vibration in Jake's chest as he quietly cried as they listened to Charley's heart-broken bawling. Jake wasn't aware that everyone was gathered around him watching with him and crying, too.

Eventually, Charley let go of Les and sat back with his head down, his hands covering his face. Les was talking to him, too low for the others to hear. "Charley I know that you know this but I'm going to say it out loud and I want you to hear it. I want you to realize that what I'm going to say is the truth. Deep down you know this, but you need to know it on the surface, too. Are you going to hear me?"

Charley nodded.

"First thing I want you to hear is: 'you did not murder that man.' Do you hear me?

Charley nodded.

"Tell me what I just said."

"I did not murder that man," Charley mumbled.

"I didn't hear you, Charley. Say it louder." Les kept his voice level and calm.

"I did not murder that man."

"That is true. You are not a murderer."

"I am not a murderer."

"That man was a predator. You know that. He was intent on causing harm to the men you were there to protect. He had his arm around Joe's neck, choking him. He had a gun pointed at you with his finger on the trigger. Tell me, Charley. Is this true?"

Charley nodded. "It's true."

"You were the only one capable of stopping him from dragging Joe into that car. You were the only one that could stop him from pulling that trigger."

"I could of shot the gun out of his hand or just wounded him." Charley protested. "I didn't have to kill him."

"Charley look me in the eyes and tell me that he wouldn't have killed you if you hadn't been so fast. Tell me that he wouldn't have shot you if you'd only wounded him. Tell me that he wouldn't have succeeded in kidnapping Joe if you hadn't stopped him. Look me in the eyes and tell me that."

Charley shook his head. "No, he would have done all that."

"So you stopped him. You saved your own life as well as Joe's and maybe even Dave's and Jake's. If you hadn't stopped him he could have killed all of you."

Charley silently nodded.

"Say it out loud, Charley. Hear yourself."

For a few moments Charley didn't respond. And then he raised his head and looked Les in the eyes. "I did what I had to do."

Les nodded, silently urging him to continue.

"I stopped that man from harming Joe. He had his finger on the trigger pointing his gun at me. I stopped him. The only way possible. I put a bullet through his head. If I hadn't he'd have surely killed me, and taken Joe. I did what I had to do."

Les watched Charley closely as he spoke, he could see that Charley was meaning every word and that the light in his eyes had returned. He smiled at him. "That is the truth. Now let's start getting rid of all the shit you've piled on your head. Let's get rid of this stink."

Charley grinned. It was still a rather weak grin, but still....

"Charley, I know your dad has told you at least a couple of times today, but I want you to hear it again and believe it."

Charley looked intently at Les, ready to hear what he said.

"All of these men gathered here are your friends. They love and care about you. You do know that don't you?"

Charley nodded.

Les smiled. "So tell me."

"I know that these men care about me. I know I've been a total shit to them, and still they love me. I know that, Les."

"Good. Now what you and I need to do is go over each and every emotion you have been going through. You were a Marine in Iraq, I'm sure you remember the list of symptoms for PTSD. We need to go through that whole list and discuss if and how you have experienced it. And I want to reassure you that I won't leave you until you can handle this on your own, Charley."

Charley nodded and looked contrite.

"This concrete is rather hard on the butt, why don't you and I go find a comfortable place to talk privately. Are you willing to do that?" Les asked.

Charley nodded again and struggled to his feet.

Jake had stood in the doorway the whole time with Chess holding him. The men were still grouped behind him.

Jake opened his arms to Charley as they walked through the door. Chess joined in the hug. Les tapped him on the shoulder and Charley pulled away to follow him.

The men parted to let Charley and Les through. Charley looked at all his friends. Everyone's eyes were red, some were still teary. They all looked at him with concern. Realizing they really were worried about him, Charley teared up. He turned to Jake. "Have I really been that bad?"

Jake squeezed his hand and nodded.

"God, I'm sorry, Jake. After what you've been through recently you didn't need to be putting up with me being a jackass, too."

Jake wrapped his arms around Charley. "Hey, I'd go through hell for you, Charley."

Charley hugged him back, and then turned to all his friends. "I'm sorry," he said and turned to Les. "Let's go talk. Jake, get these guys outside and let them enjoy the pool one last time before it gets too cold."

It took several minutes for everyone to realize the crisis was over. Charley was willingly getting the help he needed. As the tension evaporated they all felt exhilarated. The mood turned festive. Nobody had thought to bring a swimsuit. They were all looking longingly at the pool.

Jake grinned. "Hey, we're all guys here. The pool and backyard are totally private. If you're shy swim in your undies. Within minutes there were ten naked men in the pool.

Paul pulled himself up on the edge to catch his breath and watch the younger guys cavorting. Chess pulled himself up to sit beside him.

"I'll bet you never thought you'd ever knowingly go swimming naked with a bunch of gay guys," Chess said.

Paul looked at him and grinned. "You know, it is strange. I feel safer with this bunch of men than I ever felt in a pool of supposedly straight ones wearing swimming suits."

"And you realize that everyone of them have checked you out?"

"Hell, that's a natural man thing. I know I've checked everyone of them out, and I'll bet you've done it, too. Right?"

Chess grinned and nodded.

"And we can all see where Robert and Charley got their's from." Paul added with a wicked grin.

Chess grinned, shook his head and dove back in to see how many youngsters he could dunk before getting ganged up on.

Jake had been dunked one too many times. He knew that it was all done out of love and their wanting him to not feel left out. He managed to get to the shallow end and stand up. His cock was more than half hard. He ignored it. And strode to the edge and got out. He grabbed a towel and standing at the edge of the pool, he starting drying off. A head bobbed up in front of him and arms grasped the ledge. Jake looked down into Robert's grinning face. Before either of them could say a word, Chess surfaced and docked beside his son and looked up a Jake.

"Charley's one lucky guy, isn't he, Son?" Chess said.

Robert turned red and grinned up at an embarrassed Jake. "Yeah, he is. But no more so than me." Robert let go of the edge of the pool and sank below the surface before pushing off.

Jake turned away from Chess's stare. "Yes, Charley is one lucky son." Chess said, ogling Jake's backside as he climbed out of the pool.

Jake wrapped the towel around his waist and turned back to face Chess. "You know that Charley would be willing to share with you anytime you want, Chess."

Chess nodded. "I know, Son. I know." He turned and picked up a towel, drying himself, he gathered his clothes and went into the house. He went into his room and closed the door. As he moved toward the bed he caught his reflection in the mirror over the dresser. He stared into his own eyes. "Chess, behave. What you have between yourself and Jake is priceless. Don't go letting hormones fuck it up. Besides, you don't believe for one moment that Charley would ever be willing to share him. If roles were reversed you sure wouldn't. Maybe you need to get out and find someone your own age."

Chess set down on the bed and thought about seeking out a lady to fill his needs, and immediately rejected the idea. It wasn't because he felt any loyalty toward his wife at this point. He simply wasn't attracted to the thought of a female in his bed at this point.

He rose and went in to shower off the chlorine before dressing. As the warm water flowed over him Chess thought about the other man in his life. The one no one knew about. It had been six moths since he'd last seen Chuck. It was time to make a connection with him again.

Jake watched Chess until he disappeared. He then went searching for his clothes and dressed. It shook him up to feel desire for his father-in-law. He went into the kitchen and started cleaning, occasionally looking out at his beautiful naked friends enjoying the pool and the warm late October day. He realized that even though he relished looking at their bodies he felt no desire to do or be anything with them except friends. He thought about what had just occurred with Chess. And as he analyzed it he realized that the attraction he felt toward him was mostly spiritual. He wondered about what he had said to Chess as he left the pool. He would never let it get to that point. He loved Chess, but even though he was attracted to him sexually there was no way he would ever act on it. It would remain just a harmless little private fantasy. He put the thought away and went back outside to see if anyone wanted a fresh drink.

"Okay, Charley, here's what I want us to do."

Les and Charley had settled into the two desk chairs in the room that Jake called the office. It was where he worked. Both his and Charley's computers were set up there.

"I've talked with each one of the fellows out there in the pool. They each and everyone agreed to having seen in you one or two of the signs of someone suffering from PTSD. Now that you're thinking reasonably again I'm sure you, too, will agree that you have been showing these symptoms. As a way to make your subconscious realize these things I'll name off each one and you tell me how the symptom showed its ugly head. Ready?"

Charley nodded.

"Being verbally abusive to a loved one or someone you work closely with."

Charley hung his head. "Poor Jake every time he's turned around recently I attacked him."

"Name an incidence."

"I called him a wuss for trying to help Jim and Robert. Told him he should have gone ahead and cut Jim's Balls off and let Rob stay in jail."

Les went through the list. Withdrawing and isolating oneself from friends and loved ones. Daydreaming, not able to concentrate. Drinking more alcohol than usual to numb the pain. Being easily angered. Defensive about the smallest things. Feeling picked on. Tired and lethargic. Loss of sex drive. The list went on and nearly every one of them Charley identified with. He was emotionally exhausted when Les suggested that they rejoin their friends.

Brian's dick ached. He'd been in the pool for over an hour. It had been hard from the moment they all started undressing. No one had paid any attention to it except Roger, who couldn't seem to keep his eyes off it until Brian had jumped into the pool and then he couldn't keep his hands off it. He'd even gotten his mouth on it at one point with everyone around them. At least he thought it had been Roger. Brian made a point of staying in the pool until everyone else had gotten out.

Of course, with Brian staying in the water, Roger wasn't about to abandon him. Across the pool, Roger grinned at Brian, who was propped in the corner with his arms resting on the edge. Roger dove under and swam over to him. Brian saw him coming and started to cover himself then realized that he would sink if he let go of the edge. He instead brazened it out by thrusting his hips forward as Roger approached. Roger engulfed it for a moment before bursting to the surface. He wrapped his arms around Brian's head. "Damn you're beautiful," he panted, gasping for oxygen. Brian kissed him as he held both of them up. "No more than you are, Rog." Roger started rubbing against him. "If you don't stop that we're going to clog up the strainer."

"Yeah," Roger whispered.

Tim noticed that the two guys had gotten awfully quiet. He watched what Roger was doing for a moment, then with an impish gleam in his eyes, he nudged Johnny to look and yelled, "Hey, Guys, no cumming in the pool." Everyone else, of course, turned to look. Roger let go of Brian and they both sank. They'd both lost their boners by the time they stood up in the shallow end and headed for the steps. They were both grinning as they took towels and started drying. "Spoilsport," Roger said when he sat down next to Tim to put on his shoes and socks.

Johnny reached out a hand and ruffled Roger's hair. "Hey we've all been there and done that and had someone yell that at us. Join the blue ball club," he said grinning.

Brian got into his clothes as quickly as he could. He was totally embarrassed having everyone stare at him with big grins knowing that he had been about to explode. He tried to slip into the house unnoticed. But Tim jumped up and caught him around the waist and swung him around into Johnny's arms. He found himself being hugged by both men at once. Brian was panicking. "Calm down, young fellow," Johnny said. "You're part of this family now. We all love you. If we didn't, we'd have just ignored you guys."

"Yeah, Brian, we only pick on those we like. And we like picking on you and Roger."

Brian's eyes were big. He had come to idolize these two amazing men in the short time he'd been working in the Tower. "Family?" he asked.

Dave walked up and said with a big smile, "You and Roger have been officially adopted, Brian. We are now your brothers."

"Wow," was all he could say as everyone, one after another, gave him and Roger a hug. Brian loved it.

They were all dressed and sitting around talking when Charley and Les finally came out of Jake's office. They were both red eyed and looked exhausted. Les stopped next to Robert. Robert looked at him with a silent question as he placed a loving arm around Les's waist. Les smiled and nodded. They watched silently along with the rest of the group as Charley walked over to Jake and embraced him. "Forgive me, Babe?" he muttered in Jake's ear.

"There's nothing to forgive Charley. I love you and I'm glad you're getting help in dealing with this."

"Les is amazing. Robert is so lucky. You are amazing, too. And no one is luckier than me." Charley took Jake's face in his two hands and kissed him. He then turned and faced all the expectant faces.

"You guys are the best. Thank you for standing by me while I was being an ass. Les has promised to stick around for a few days and work with me. I love everyone of you and thank you for whatever part you had in this afternoon. Just your presence, showing your support is more than I deserve."

"That's so much bull, Charley. You deserve all the love and support we can give you," Dave said.

Charley walked over to Dave and wrapped him in a hug. "I haven't been doing a very good job of protecting you, have I?"

Dave hugged him back. "That's okay. Get your head on straight and you will."

Charley turned to hug Joe, "I'm sorry I have fallen down on job the last couple of weeks."

"Charley we know what you've been going through. Don't sweat it," Joe said, giving him a hard body squeeze.

Johnny and Tim were standing right behind him waiting to give Charley their support. "You know we're ready to give you a hand anyway we can," Tim said, with a firm hug.

"Thanks, guys. I need your support."

As Tim let go of him Johnny grabbed him around the neck and planted a kiss on his cheek. "We love you, Charley, don't you ever forget that."

With tears again blurring his vision he smiled at the two men and nodded. Roger stepped up and offered his hand. Charley looked at the proffered hand and then into Roger's eyes. "I guess you've gotten a lot more of the brunt of this than most of these guys. I'm sorry, Roger," he said, taking his hand and pulling him into a hug.

Roger hugged him back. Patting Charley on the back, he said, "I went through the same thing you're going through, Charley. If it would help, we can swap stories."

Charley pulled back and looked at him. "I didn't know."

"Yeah, over in Iraq. I lied to you about being in the army. I still have a difficult time dealing with it."

Charley studied Roger a moment, reassessing him. "We'll have to talk."

Brian, who was standing next to his new lover, grinned uncomfortably when Charley looked at him and said, "I guess you're the lucky one. I didn't really get a chance to be nasty to you." He held out his hand to Brian. "I'm Charley."

Taking the proffered hand in both of his, Brian said, "I know who you are. You're one of my heros."

Charley was properly embarrassed, but kept his composure. "I appreciate you telling me that, but I only did what I had to do."

Charley turned and looked around the room. Paul and Chess were standing by the fire place watching. Charley walked over to Paul. "Do I still have a job after all the shit I've pulled these last two weeks?" he asked.

"Don't worry about your job. It will always be there for you."

"Thanks, Paul. I don't deserve it."

Paul pulled him into a hug. "As Dave said, that's so much bullshit, Charley, and you know it. I'm just glad that it's not going to take longer for you to get your act back together."

Charley smiled at Paul and then turned to his dad. "Pop," was all he could get out before he broke down. Chess grabbed his son in a loving embrace.

"You're a good man, Son. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm glad, Pop, because I'm not feeling too good about myself right now."

"We're going to help you with that Charley. I talked to Tom. He's going to handle the office. We're going to stay through next weekend. Think you could stand us that long?"

"Of course. It will be good to have you around."

"Your brother is looking like he's been left out. You should talk to him."

"I owe him big time, Pop. His attack earlier brought this whole thing to a head. I'd still be acting like an ass if he hadn't said what he did."

"Tell him that. I think he's feeling ashamed of himself right now."

It had long been dark outside before the fellows all left. Dave and Joe had taken Robert and Les with them leaving Charley and Jake's guest room for Chess. The night had turned chilly. Jake came inside from carrying out the garbage. He briskly rubbed his bare arms. 'Well, we squeezed in one good day in the pool before the cold weather started. Soon we'll have to drained it and prepare it for the onslaught of winter,' he thought to himself.

He took a dishtowel and wiped around the sink, neatly folded it and hung it back up. He looked around to see if there was anything more that needed to be done before turning off the light. He sighed and flipped the switch and then stood there in the dark wondering if Charley was going to be his old self behind their closed bedroom door. He sighed again, put on a smile and walked into the livingroom.

Charley was talking to his dad. Jake hadn't been listening. He'd been involved in his own thoughts. Chess smiled up at him as he entered the room. Charley seeing his dad's attention drawn away from his story, looked up at Jake. "Sit down, Babe, I was telling Dad about our run up to Richland last month."

Charley was sprawled in the lounger and Chess was sitting in the high backed club chair. Jake sat down on the sofa close to Charley, who continued with his tale. Jake was not really listening. He watched Charley. Although he was animatedly talking to his dad, Jake felt that he still wasn't being his old self. For one thing, Charley hadn't paid any attention to him other than the hug and kiss in front of everyone when he and Les had come out of the office. A hug no more special than he gave every other man in the room. And a kiss that held no feelings.

He wasn't going to be part of Charley's charade. He stood up. "Excuse me, I am bushed. I think I'll go to bed."

Chess looked like he was going to get up to hug him. Jake shook his head and turned to leave.

"Goodnight, Jake, keep your faith." Chess said.

"I'll be there in a bit," Charley called after him.

He went into the bedroom and closed the door. He leaned back against it and scrubbed his forehead. "Keep your faith" kept reverberating in his head. How long? It had been a week and a half since Charley had touched him other than the show he'd put on in front of all the others. Jake had known there was nothing behind the hugs. He could feel it. He wondered if Les had been fooled. He doubted it. Les was a pretty sharp guy.

Jake pushed off the door and wandered across the room undressing. He went into the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. "Keep your faith, Jake. Charley will come around," he whispered to his image. He turned to the bowl and when he finished peeing, he thought about masturbating to relieve the stress. He looked down at his limp cock and sighed, shook it and went to bed.

Up in the Eyrie, Joe and Robert had retired to their respective beds. Dave and Les sat at the kitchen table enjoying some camomile tea.

"So is Charley okay at this point?" Dave asked.

"He's got a good ways to go, Dave. What you saw this evening was all show. Bluster, put on to make us all think he is okay. If you noticed, he didn't pay any attention to Jake except to give him a hug and ask forgiveness while we were all watching. I'm sure you saw how animated he was, jovial, overly friendly. It's all coverup."

"So what happens next?"

"Tomorrow I will confront him with it. He'll deny it. We'll chew on it until he admits that he was putting up a front. The next couple of days will be pretty much the same before we start seeing him accepting himself again. He has to accept the fact that there was no other thing that could be done. And then he has to come to terms with himself. He'll be needing a lot of support during this time. He'll be fragile."

Charley silently closed the door. He glanced at Jake in the dim light and assumed he was asleep. He removed his clothes, did his bathroom duties and then sat down on the edge of the bed. He stared at the darkness outside the window.

Jake watched him. His heart ached. He wanted to make everything okay for Charley, but what could he do except be there waiting with open arms when he finally broke through all the shit going on in his head? Well, he could talk to him.

"Charley?"

"I thought you were asleep," Charley said, not moving.

"No, I was just lying here waiting for you."

"Mmm."

Nearly a minute past. Charley still didn't move.

"Why don't you get into bed and let me hold you, Babe?"

"I don't feel up to doing anything."

"I'm not asking you to do anything. I just want to hold you, that's all."

Without a word Charley stood and slowly undressed. He slid into bed when Jake held the covers up, and then turned his backside to him. Jake moved up against him and slid one arm under his head and the other around his chest. "I love you so much, Charley."

Charley sighed. "I love you too, Jake, I've just go so much crap going on in my head. I think I might lose my mind."

"I know you do, Babe. And while you muddle through it all, remember I'm here for you. What time are you getting together with Les?"

Charley shrugged. "We're supposed to go up to Dave and Joe's for breakfast. I'll find out then."

Jake's heart was soaring. Charley was talking to him. He may not have been up to anything physical between them, but at least he was talking. "Well, it's late let's get some sleep."

"'kay."

Jake kissed the back of Charley's neck. Getting no response, he mentally sighed and said, "Good night, Love."

Charley didn't respond. They lay staring into the darkness until sleep overtook them.

Robert lay in the big comfy king size bed watching his lover putter around the room getting himself ready for the day. From the moment that Les had first walked into that jail cell a few weeks ago, Robert had been fascinated with watching him.

When Les stood still he looked like a big lumbering woodsman. His hair was always unruly. Robert had watched him carefully comb it all into place after he showered, but by the time he'd dressed it was messed with a shock of it sticking up on top his head. Robert loved running his fingers through it. It was so soft and shiny. He was fascinated how the dark brown hair on his head turned to a dark auburn in his beard.

Ah, the beard, Robert loved the feel of Les's beard all over his body, but especially between his legs. He could look at Les's beard and get hard just thinking about how it felt between his thighs. Les looked at him and grinned as he slid his arms into a long sleeved pullover. He stuck his head into it and pulled it down. He slid it down over his long lanky body. Once the knit was adjusted he ran the fingers of both hands through his luxurious four inch long beard, staring into Robert's eyes as he did. He grinned as Robert's cock rose. "It's not going to happen again until later you horny man."

Robert sighed. "God, I love you."

"You don't fool me, Robby. It's my beard you're in love with."

"Yeah, that's true," Robert admitted, staring into his deep azure blue eyes, "but without you attached to it, it would just be a mop."

"I love you, too." Les bent down to kiss him. Robert grabbed him by his sideburns and ran his tongue around Les's lips. Les settled beside him and got totally involved in the kiss.

He eventually broke the kiss, and slapped Robert's naked hip. He bent over and kissed the tip of his cock. "Come on, get up and shower. I know Dave and Joe are already back from their run. Come on, Horny Man, get up."

Robert grinned. It was true he could never get enough of Les. Being near him always kept him in a state of horniness. "Okay, I'll be ready in ten minutes." But he didn't move as he watched the fluid grace of his man as he moved to the door. He marveled for the millionth time how someone so big and lanky and awkward looking when still, could move like a big cat. Les turned and winked at him as he went out the door.

Robert smiled as he headed toward the shower. "I've got to thank Jake again," he said aloud to himself, as he let the warm water cascade down his solid body. He'd lost his belly in the last month and was toning up his muscles. Funny how being in love made such a difference in one's attitudes about one's self.

Charley was quiet and still withdrawn the next morning. Jake let him be, as did the other four on their morning run. After the run, Charley and Jake had gone home, showered and returned to the Eyrie with Chess. When breakfast was finished Les had filled Charley's and his own mugs with Dave's freshly brewed coffee and suggested that Charley and he retire to the den for another session. Charley nearly balked, but as he felt everyone's eyes looking expectant, he rose and followed Les out of the room.

"When was the last time you made love to Jake?"

Charley had just sat down in a comfortable club chair in the Eyrie's den. Les was still arranging his notes and had his back to Charley. Jake, Chess, Robert, Joe and Dave were still in the kitchen having another cup of coffee after a healthy breakfast.

He almost spilled his coffee as he gawked at Les. When he didn't answer Les turned and looked at him. "Well?"

"Isn't that rather a private and intimate question?"

Les nodded. "Yes, it is. What is the answer?"

Charley gulped and studied his hands and then the room. He looked everywhere except at Les. Les sat down in a chair identical to Charley's, facing him. "Last Friday?" he asked. "Or was it maybe Wednesday? Or was it the day after you saved Joe and Dave?"

Charley turned and looked at him. "You've been talking to Jake."

Les looked back at him. "No. I'm merely guessing? Did I hit the right date?"

Charley looked away. He nodded.

"Did you initiate it?"

Charley looked back at him, a momentary anger flared in his eyes, but quickly died. He dropped his eyes down to his lap. "Jake did."

"How would you rate your performance. Eager, semi-active, or passive."

"I wasn't eager or passive."

"Bottom or top?"

Charley looked annoyed. "Neither. It was mutual masturbation."

"And did you ejaculate?"

Charley shook** his head.

"Have you had an erection since?"

"No," he whispered.

"Can you tell me why?"

Charley nodded.

"Take you time, Charley. Tell me why."

Charley studied his hands. He began to unconsciously wash them. When he realized what he was doing, he clinched them into fists and glanced up at Les, who looked back at him with no emotion on his face. Charley dropped his head back to stare up at the ceiling. Tears coursed down his cheeks. "Sunday night. The night after I shot the kid....."

"Charley. He was not a kid. He was a man. He was twenty-three years old."

Charley nodded. He scrubbed his eyes and started over. "The night after I shot the man. I woke up in the middle of the night. The image of the bullet entering the man's head vivid in my mind. It still is. I close my eyes, I see him staring at me... still alive. And then there's a little red hole in his forehead. The life fades from his eyes before he falls. Just like that. I wiggled my finger and he was dead."

"What was significant about that night?"

"When I woke up..... I'd had a wet dream. I lay there mortified. How could something like that happen?"

"Where was Jake?"

"Lying next to me. In the middle of the bed."

"On his back, side, stomach?"

"On his back. I was laying against him, almost on him. I came all over his belly."

"Did he wake up?"

"No."

"Go on."

"I lay there for a long time. I could feel my cum liquifying and running down between us. I turned on my night light. I could see that I had made a mess. That only made me feel worse. I grabbed my shorts and wiped off his belly. I was just going to clean myself off, but I suddenly needed to shower. I needed to wash away the whole nightmare."

"You see your wet dream as a nightmare?"

"Don't you? It was horrifying to wake up and realize that killing that....man..... turned me on."

"Did it?"

"Did what?"

"Did killing that man turn you on?"

Charley looked aghast, shaking his head in denial and at the same time saying, "It must have. I had a wet dream over it."

Even though Charley's body was unconsciously denying it, Les insisted that he say it out loud. "Charley, does thinking about that bullet entering the man's head stimulate you when you think about it?"

"No. It's horrible to even think about." Charley sat with his eyes closed as tears continued unchecked.

Les studied Charley for several moments before he spoke. "Let me tell you something about us humans, Charley. Even though we are civilized, deep down inside of us we still have strong unconscious primal urges. There is something about witnessing the death of a human being that can set off the primal urge to reproduce, to procreate, to copulate. You haven't had that dream since, have you?"

Charley shook his head. "No," he muttered.

"I thought not. Your conscious mind has shut off your subconscious and closed down your libido all because you felt guilty over an unconscious primal urge that you had absolutely no control over."

Charley looked up at Les as he mulled over what he'd just said. He didn't say anything, but Les could see in Charley's eyes and his demeanor that it was making a difference, changing his reactions to the whole thing.

They continued to rehash the dream and Charley's reaction to it, until Les was convinced that Charley had been thoroughly convinced that it was okay to have a strong libido and that there was no reason for him to feel guilty over a subconscious reaction.

"When you go home today, Charley, I want you to tell Jake about the dream and your reactions and feelings. Let's meet again for another session tomorrow morning."

Charley stood and walked over to his brother-in-law, (that's the way he'd begun to think of him) and wrapped him in a hug.

Les hugged him back. "That's more like it. I can feel you mean it today." Les pushed back and looked at Charley. "I don't think you fooled anyone yesterday, Charley. But this hug was sincere. We all love you, Big Guy. Don't you forget that for a moment."

When they walked out on the deck, they found their mates with Chess, Dave and Joe enjoying the warmth of the mid day. They all had on jackets though. Their respective mates stood and held out windbreakers for them, too. Charley couldn't help but see the look of concern in their eyes. Les broke the silence. "So what is everyone discussing?" he asked as he sat down beside Robert.

"I was just giving a short summation of what my new book is about," Jake said. He was still standing and he felt Charley's arms snake around his chest and his lips planting a kiss on the back of his neck. No one missed the mist that filled Jake's vision for a moment.

"Jake and I need to talk, Guys. So if you will excuse us, we are going home. We'll call you later and meet for cocktails and dinner," Charley said.

Jake turned and studied Charley, seeing his lover acting more like his usual self, he smiled and raised his eyebrows as he looked back at the seated men. Charley took his hand and led him to the elevator. As soon as the doors enclosed then and they started their descent Charley embraced Jake and nuzzled his neck. "God, I've missed you, Babe."

"I've been right here with you all the time, Charley."

"Yeah, but I wasn't."

When the elevator doors opened. They were greeted with a big smile from Brian who was sitting at the desk. Roger was standing behind him. From the looks on their faces Charley knew they'd been watching the monitor camera in the elevator.

Charley and Jake grinned and walked toward the desk.

"Fuck you, Guys." Charley said with a big grin as they continued past.

"Oh, I don't think it will be one of us that's going to get fucked," Roger said, grinning back, as they went through the door into the garage. Jake winked over his shoulder at him as the door closed.