Charley woke before the alarm. He turned it off and looked at his lover's handsome face sleeping next to him. They'd move apart in their sleep. Charley's eyes traveled down Jake's muscular torso, then he scooted down and took his morning woody into his mouth. Jake groaned and pushed into him as he started waking up. Charley pulled off his cock and slithered back up to lie on top of him, grinding their hard cocks together. Jake wrapped his arms around him and ground back. Twenty minutes later they were in the hot shower washing each other.

This was his first morning run accompanying Charley. He didn't relish getting up so early. In the Army he'd had to do it but it wasn't something he ever got in the habit of doing. But for Charley he did it cheerfully. " I love waking up like that. Good morning, Lover."

Charley grinned and kissed his nose. "It's almost time to for our run. Would you like to be quickly ravished right now or wait until we can do it right?"

Jake stretched. "Yes, but I've got to pee first." Jake kissed him back on his chin.

Joe laughed. "That's a good answer. But which is it going to be?"

Jake thought about it. He hated having to be logical this early in the morning, but he knew Dave and Joe would soon be in the Tower lobby waiting for them. He sighed, "I want both. I want both, but let's wait. I want to thoroughly enjoy your sweaty body."

"Oh yeah, let's do it." Charley murmured in his ear. He made no move to get off Jake.

Jake now more awake, wrapped Charley in a hug, licked his neck making him squirm. With a heave of his hips, he tossed Charley and rolled over on top of him. He ground his hard cock into his belly. Charley gasped, "Oh don't do that, I need to piss, too." Jake raised his upper body with his hips still pressed against him, and grinned maliciously. "Payback," he chuckled and the leapt from the bed before Charley could reciprocate. Jake held a hand out and pulled him up. Charley wrapped him in an embrace and planted a kiss on his lips. "Come on, let's go relieve ourselves and get dressed. Dave's going to be calling any moment."

Dave called Charley before he started dressing, to coordinate and by the time he and Joe stepped out of the elevator they saw the big black Harley, with two men on it, pulling into the garage. They stopped to pass the time with the young guard on the desk until Charley strode in with his shoulder holster strapped around his chest over his t-shirt. To hide it he wore a light windbreaker. Jake was right behind him, looking not quite awake. He walked right into Dave's arms and gave him a hug. "You guys are nuts. It's uncivilized to be up this early," he groused, as Joe gave Charley a hug. They exchanged partners and hugged again.

"You'll get used to it, Jake." Joe said as he gave him a welcoming hug. "Eventually, you will find you crave it." "That was quite a party yesterday. What time did you fellows leave?" He headed toward the door.

"We hung around with Johnny and Tim until everyone left. About eight- thirty," Charley answered following him out the door.

"Those two'll start running with us tomorrow. I'm sure they're sleeping in this morning." Joe said.

Charley chuckled.

Dave leaned against the desk to retie his left shoe. Jake, still somewhat somnolent, waited for him. The young guard had watched in awe as the four men had greeted each other. "Excuse me, Sir," he said to Dave. "Do you guys always show so much affection for each other?"

Dave still had his ankle across his right knee as he raised his head and looked at him. The young man's question caught Dave off guard. "Yeah, we do," he said.

"It's so cool. Even Mr. Hanson hugs. And he's straight."

Dave blinked and dropped his foot to the floor. Jake woke up a little more, entranced by the guard's innocent interest.

"Does all this hugging bother you?" Dave asked.

"Oh, no sir. I envy y'all. Y'all are just so awesome."

"What's your name?" Dave asked

He didn't have a name tag on. His hand flew up to cover the spot on his shirt where it should be. "Oh shit," he said and then turned a dark red having realized he'd just cursed in front of his employer. "I'm sorry. The pin broke." He pulled it out of his pocket and held it out to show Dave. "My name is Brian. Brian Henderson, sir."

"Where are you from, Brian?"

"Abilene, Texas, Sir."

Joe stuck his head back through the door. "Come on, you two, the sun is coming up."

Dave waved a hand at him and Jake started toward the door. Dave turned back to the desk. "How late are you on the desk this morning?"

"I'm here until eleven, Sir."

"Good. I'll stop and talk some more."

"That would be cool, Sir. I apologize for cursing."

Dave grinned at him. "Hey, shit happens," he said, and ran out the door to catch up with the others.

The morning air was brisk, soon they'd have to start wearing more clothes to run. Dave fell in beside Joe with Charley and Jake following.

"So what's with the desk guard?" Joe asked.

"His name is Brian and he's from Bushland. That's all I found out, except he envies us hugging each other."

"Where's Bushland?"

"Dave laughed. "Abilene, Texas."

"Do you think he's gay?" Jake asked, breathing evenly as they jogged through the empty campus quad.

"I suspect that he may be. Why would he come all the way here from Abilene."

Jake bobbed his head in agreement."He certainly gave us all the once over."

Charley laughed. "I didn't think you were awake enough to notice."

Jake pushed him with his shoulder. They then settle into the run and ran silently through the early morning. They made a big circle through city streets and ended up back at the Tower. Dave and Joe stopped under the portico to cool down and do some stretching. Charley and Jake had stopped on the far side of the drive way on the grass to do their's. Charley liked to keep his distance so he could have room to maneuver if necessary.

A big black Buick with darkened windows rolled into the portico. Charley was on instant alert. The car was between him and the two men he was there to protect. Neither Joe nor Dave paid any attention to the car and continued their stretches. Charley quickly moved to the back of the car just as a man jumped out of the passenger side, holding a gun out in front of him. He grabbed Joe around the neck as he straightened from a stretch. Charley already had his gun out and pointed at the man. "Drop your gun and let the man go." Charley barked the command.

When Joe realized what was happening, he slumped and pulled a small gun from his waist band. The man was fighting dead weight as he swung around trying to hold Joe in front of him and point the gun at Charley. Before Joe could raise his gun, a small hole appeared in his forehead. Blood spattered the window beyond him as the bullet's explosion resonated under the portico. Dave looked up in shock as he was spattered with bits of the man's bloody brains and skull. The man's gun clattered on the concrete in the shock of silence as it skittered across the concrete. Charley was at the driver's side with the gun at the driver's temple before the man crumpled to the ground. "Out," he barked. "Hands on top of your head. Move wrong and you are dead."

The man slowly put his hands on top of his head and slid out of the car. Jake watched in amazement. He'd been totally unaware of Charley's abilities. Dave was standing with his held hands out from his sides frozen, stupefied. And then he focused on Joe who had a Biretta derringer in his hand prodding the dead man with his toe. Dave ran to his side. "Where the hell did that come from?" he asked pointing at the tiny gun in Joe's hand.

"I always carry it." Joe ignored the blood spattered all over Dave.

"I've never seen it before."

Joe shrugged and slipped it back into the holder in his waist band. He walked over to Charley and shook his hand, ignoring the handcuffed driver on the ground next to his dead companion. Charley turned to Dave and Joe summarily dismissing them, saying, "You two go on up. I'll handle the police. There, of course, will be someone up to take your statements later." turned to Jake who was still standing where he'd been stretching. He held his arm out to him. Jake walked across the driveway and stopped just out of reach.

"That was totally the most awesome thing I've ever seen." he said.

There was a new expression in his eyes that Charley hadn't seen before. He shrugged. "It's what I do, Babe. It's no big deal."

"You fuckin' liar. It is a big deal. You just saved Joe and Dave,"Jake said, stepping into his arms.

"I'm just doing my job."

"When you get through here, I want you to make love to me. I want you to fuck me into next week."

The man on the ground with his hands cuffed behind his back twisted and looked up at them. "Wouldn't you know it, I got caught by a goddamned faggot."

Charley put his foot on the man's face and pushed him back down. "You sure did, asshole." He kissed Jake.

Brian had observed the whole incident from inside. He'd immediately called the police when he'd seen the gunman jump out of the car and stayed on the phone to inform them of the situation.~~~

While waiting for the police to arrive Jake watched Charley wander over to the dead man and squat down to study his face. 'How is hell's name had a kid so young gotten himself into this situation?' Tears ran down Charley's face. Jake felt helpless watching his lover. He knew that Charley was going to have a difficult time getting beyond this. He knew that if it had been him that had put the bullet through the kid's skull, he be living with a feeling of guilt for the rest of his life. But at the same time he knew it'd had to be done. The kid could've easily have killed Charley and/or Joe and Dave. Jake knew he had a big job ahead of him helping Charley cope with the remorse and post trauma stress. He just hoped his love would be enough.

Two cops had spent half an hour up in the Eyrie grilling Dave and Joe. Jake had been questioned at length had collapsed into a chair in the Tower lobby afterwards and dozed off. Charley had to answer hundreds of questions, most of them the same, simply phrased differently. Finally, about ten-thirty the police had folded up and left.

Once the police had gone, Charley sat on a concrete bench and stared at the ground in front of his shoes. The air was cool, nearly cold for the way he was dressed. The body heat from running had long ago cooled The adrenalin rush from having killed another human being had dissipated. The car had been hauled away. All that was left was the depression from the deed and the blood.

Brian sat behind the desk watching Charley through the bloody spattered window, waiting for him to get up and come inside. When he continued to just sit there, he walked over and shook Jake awake.

"That man out there needs you, Sir." He pointed out the window at Charley.

Jake sat up, rubbing his eyes. "How long has he been sitting there?"

"The cops left about ten minutes ago. I thought he'd come inside and wake you himself, but he just sits there staring at the ground."

"Thanks, Brian." Jake said, rising and going out to sit beside his lover.

Charley didn't seem to notice him. Jake sat forward and rested his arms on his thighs, copying the way Charley sat, only their shoulders and knees touched. He started talking. "You know it had to be done. You saved Dave and Joe from God knows what. If the man had succeed in taking Joe, you know he may not have been returned alive. If Dave or Joe had moved wrong, the man may have shot them. You prevented him for doing any of those terrible things." He noticed Charley nod very slightly. "You're my hero, Charley, and I don't like seeing you down on yourself for doing what had to be done."

Charley looked at him. "I've never knowingly killed a man before. I'm sure that in Desert Storm I killed some of the Iraqis. But they were faceless and they were shooting back. It never really meant much, you know? They were just the faceless enemy."

"Charley that guy was the enemy, too. He had a gun in his hand, he Pointed it at you. He could have easily killed any one of us,."

"Did you look at him, Jake? He wasn't any older than Jason and Pete, and he's dead now. I placed a bullet through his head, just as if I were shooting at a cardboard target."

"He was old enough to wield a gun, Charley. He was old enough to know the consequences of his actions. You did what you had to do to keep Dave and Joe safe. And if you didn't feel remorse you would be no better than him. "

Charley nodded his head. "Yeah, I did. I did my job and I feel like shit for having done it. Still, I wouldn't hesitate to do it again if I had to."

"Let's go inside Charley, it's cold out here."

Charley nodded and stood. As he did Brian stuck his head out the door. "Charley, Paul called and asked that you wait for him. He'll be here in about fifteen minutes."

Charley nodded and allowed Jake to lead him through the door that Brian held open for him. "Brian, please call up to the Eyrie and tell them we are coming up," Jake said.

"Sure, Man." He returned to the desk and Jake led Charley to the elevator. Brian opened it for them from the desk controls and let it close when they stepped inside. He watched on the monitor as Charley collapsed into Jake's arms. As Jake held Charley and caressed the back of his head, Brian got a knot in his throat imagining the agony that Charley was feeling. He didn't start the elevator until Charley had his emotions under control.

Charley eventually noticed they weren't moving, he straightened up, wiped his wet cheeks, looked up at the monitor and nodded. The elevator started moving. He smiled at Jake, who still had an arm around him. "I like that kid. He's got a good head on his shoulders."

"So do you, Babe,"Jake said and kissed him, aware that Brian was probably still watching them.

Dave and Joe talked through their illogical emotional reactions, each apologizing to the other and expressing their love for each other.

Joe raised his head from Dave's shoulder and sniffed the air. "I swear I can smell fresh brewed coffee.

"I love you, you nut,"Dave said. He squeezed his lover and disentangle himself from Joe's arms and headed into the kitchen to make fresh coffee. As he measured the water, he looked at Joe who had followed him. His eyes were still golden, everything was okay. "How is Charley taking it?" He asked.

"I don't really know. He was totally professional with the police."

"Well, he was one just a few weeks ago."

"Do you think we should look into getting counseling for him. I would suspect he has never shot another person much less killed one."

"Let's see how he holds up. He may not need it."

Just as Dave poured the first cup of coffee. The intercom chimed, announcing that Jake and Charley were on their way up and that Mr. Hanson would be up momentarily. Dave got out three more cups and set them on the table while Joe went out to greet the two men.

They sat at the table and talked. They were all subdued. Charley assured them he would be okay. He told them Jake's love was all he needed to keep his head on straight. Paul showed up and Charley had to go through all the events again and ended up reassuring his boss that he was okay. The three men soon left.

When Charley and Jake got home they tenderly bathed each other, then made love to each other. Jake had never seen Charley so passionate Jake had climaxed three times by the time that Charley finally exploded inside him. He knew he was going to be sore. They held each other for a long time afterwards. He could feel Charley begin to emotionally pull in on himself and didn't know how to keep him from it.

Roger had called Paul Hansen, the chief of security to report his return, Sunday morning soon after Charley and Jake had left the Tower.

A little later he'd walked up to the front door of the Tower, wondering why there was a maintenance crew scrubbing down the driveway and washing the windows. He held up his ID badge. Brian Henderson was still on the desk, and let him in. Roger walked up to the desk and introduced himself.

"I'd just started here," he told Brian, "when my dad had a heart attack and I had to go home to see him,"

"How's he doing?"

Roger looked away. "He died." He glanced at Brian. The look of compassion broke down his defenses and he found himself telling this young stranger what had happened.

"He was alert and seeming to be okay when I got there. The doctor said he was stabilized. He had a massive coronary in the middle of the night and died." Roger shrugged and shook his head.

"That's tough, Man. I wish I could relieve your pain," Brian said.

The sincerity in Brian's voice got to Roger. He glanced at him and said, "Thanks," turned and headed back toward the security office before he totally lost it.

He went into the Men's room. He stood at the wash basin and stared into the mirror. "What the fuck got into you? Blabbering like a girl to that kid." He washed his face with cold water. Noting his bloodshot eyes, he took a paper towel, soaked it in cold water and compressed it against his eyes. After a minute or so he looked at himself again. They didn't look quite so red, so he combed his hair, straightened his clothes and headed into the office to see Paul.

He jokingly asked Paul if he was hiring high school kids as desk guards.

"You're referring to Brian? He's twenty-one despite his baby face. Kind of reminds me of Tim, just an overgrown boy."

"Nice kid." Roger responded thinking about how the kid had shown such concern for him.

Roger's comment surprised Paul. He had up until then always given the impression of being a redneck ruffian.

After getting his schedule and visiting a bit more with Paul, Roger walked back out into the front lobby to find that Brian had just gotten off duty and was waiting for him. "Have you had breakfast?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, about three hours ago."

"Ready for lunch?"

The delight Brian showed when he said, "No, but I'd like a cup of coffee." made Roger feel warm and fuzzy, although he would never have admitted that he felt that way, much less would he have described himself ever feeling that way. Roger couldn't help but be impressed by how open, up front and eager Brian was."You have a place in mind?" he asked.

"How about that coffee place in the bookstore down the street. They have a breakfast sandwich and great coffee."

"Mr. Gates's bookstore. You buyin'?" He knew that the men who worked for Dave's security were never charged for coffee at the bookstore.

"Sure."

"Let's go then." Roger said heading out the door.

Brian trotted to catch up. "Dave owns that place? I didn't realize that. I mean I knew it's the Gates-Way bookstore, but not that Dave is that Gates,"

"Yup, I hear tell that he used to work in there everyday until his partner died and left him a big fortune."

"His partner was rich and made Dave work in the bookstore?"

Roger shrugged, not connecting partner with lover as Brian had.

"That's eccentric. Weird." Brian exclaimed. Roger momentarily wondered why Brian thought it weird, but thought no more about it.

Minutes later they were sitting at a small sidewalk table away from the students that populated most of the place. Roger was hunched over his mug, staring into the depths of it. This bright eager young fellow sitting across from him was stirring feelings he thought he'd successfully squashed. He hadn't added any cream or sugar to his coffee, but he slowly stirred it with a swizzle stick. The action seemed to center his thoughts. Brian took a bite of his sausage and egg sandwich and watched Roger stir while he chewed. He took a sip of his coffee and leaned toward Roger, grinning. "Stir and stir, bubble and brew," he murmured.

Roger looked up at him. "I was just thinking of all the stuff I've been through in the last couple of weeks." He lied. His thoughts had been totally on Brian and wishing he could be so open and free.

"Bad, was it?"

Roger nodded. "Yeah, real bad. I don't think I'll ever go back there."

Brian didn't say anything, refusing to think about his own home situation. He continued to eat his sandwich and watch Roger. Finally, he asked him if he wanted to talk about it. "I'm a good listener," he added.

Roger looked up at him, tried to smile and failed. He stared back into his mug from which he hadn't yet taken a drink, and turned his thoughts to what he'd just said. "My dad and I always fought. He blamed me for my mother's death."

He stirred his coffee and Brian finished off his sandwich, washed it down with another swig of his coffee, and then leaned forward with his elbows on the table and watched Roger stare into his mug and stir the black brew. "Hell, he was the one that killed her," Roger continued. "She was forty-six when he got her pregnant with me. She'd already given the bastard seven kids. What did he need one more for?"

"Aren't you kinda glad he did, being it was you?" Brian quietly asked.

Roger looked up, not really seeing him or paying attention to the question. "I never knew my mama, but I'd have given my life for a chance to know her."

Brian's eyes misted. He grimaced at the heart-felt pain.

"I thought that seeing the old bastard on his death bed, he might have a kind word for me." Roger sighed. "All he said to me was, "Came back to make sure I die, did you? Well, I probably won't disappoint you." He died that night. I was glad he was finally gone, but I was sad, too. I mean even though he hated me, he was my father." Roger paused and drank half the contents of the mug. Brian didn't move as he waited for Roger to continue. "My older brothers and sisters all seemed to take my ol' man's attitude. Only my youngest sister, Jan, she's five years older'n me, was the least bit understanding. I was always her little baby. She and I are the only ones that moved away. She lives up in Chicago. Married to a good man. She's going to school to be a lawyer. The only one of us to make something of herself." He picked up his mug, drained it and set it down with a clunk. "Enough." He shook himself as if shedding a heavy cloak. "So what about you, Brian. Where you from?"

Brian raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Abilene, Texas."

"I thought that was a Texas drawl. So why are you so far from home?"

"I came here to go to school."

"Why here?"

Brian shrugged. "It's as good as any place."

"And a place your parents wouldn't think of looking for you." Roger added.

"Fuck. How would you know that?"

"I left home when I was sixteen. Maybe not for the same reason you did, but I didn't want to be found either. Not that the ol' bastard would have looked for me."

Roger felt like someone was watching him he glanced toward the coffee shop door and saw Sue Morrow standing there watching him and Brian. He'd been introduced to her right after he started working for Dave. He caught her eyes and she smiled at him and then turned back into the store. Roger turned back to Brian. "So why did you leave home?" he asked.

"Private reasons."

Roger studied him a moment. "I can respect that," he said. Then he asked, "Want some more coffee?"

"Sure." Brian said, and started to get up.

"Sit still, I'll get it." Roger said, putting a hand on Brian's shoulder as he got up.

Brian watched him walk away, and couldn't help but take note of his muscular back side and his sexy masculine walk. He wondered if Roger could be gay.

As Roger getting the coffee he saw Sue and nodded to her. She smiled at him again. A moment later, he saw Brian looking at him as he walked back toward the table and noted how he quickly turned away to keep from staring. He found Brian to be very attractive, wondered whether he could be queer. It didn't matter to him, he liked the kid anyway. Roger pushed Brian's mug across the table to him as he sat down. "So where do you live?"

"You know Jake and Charley?" Brian asked.

"I've met Charley. I'll be working with him." Roger recalled the gaff he'd made with Charley that first day on the job.

"Well, I rented Jake's old apartment. Where are you living?"

"A cheap little motel over on Lincoln Ave. I just got back and I didn't have a chance to find a place before I left."

"The apartment has two bedrooms. I was going to advertize for another student to rent it. You could rent it or just stay with me until you find a place. Save the money."

Roger thought a moment. He'd already decided that there was a good possibility that the kid was queer. But he again told himself that didn't matter. He'd been around queer guys before. They didn't bother him. "Sure. If I can pay half the rent."

"If you looking to just stay until you find your own place the rents already paid."

He shrugged. "That's the only way I can do it. Half or no deal." Roger was thinking he'd try it and if he liked living with another guy he'd stay and rent it. He was having a difficult time keeping the niggling little thoughts that he'd so successfully closed off from breaking free. He didn't want to deal with them right now.

Brian shrugged back. "Cool." He pulled his key ring out of his pocket and took off the spare key to the apartment. "I'd been meaning to find a place to hide this in case I locked myself out," he said handing the key to Roger.

"So how much is the rent."

"Seven fifty a month."

"Damn, I'd be paying a hell of a lot more than that if I stayed in that motel a month."

"Yeah, well, Three seventy five doesn't include clean sheets and towels daily, either."

Roger grinned at him. "You mean you're not going to make my bed for me?"

"Fuck you. I'm not a maid."

Roger bit his tongue to keep from making a risque reply. He just grinned, shrugged and said, "Can't blame a guy for trying." He immediately blushed. He'd never flirted with another guy before.

Brian thought about making the bed after Roger had slept in it leaving his distinct scent in it. He blushed and turned away, again saying, "Fuck you."

Roger found himself thinking Brian was so cute when he blushed. He wondered what it would be like fucking Brian. He'd fucked a couple of guys before. He'd liked it, but forced himself to not think about it because he didn't want to think about how queer it was. And he didn't want to be queer, so he blamed it on having had too much to drink. His father, for no reason other than to be mean, used to call him a pansy assed little faggot. He'd always hated that. In the years he'd lived at home he'd never done anything to make the old man think he might be queer. He put the thought out of his head. "You want to help me get my stuff?" he asked.

"You have a lot?"

"More than I can carry in two arm loads ."

"Let's go get my car then. The apartment is just across the campus."

Roger laughed. "Brian, mine is sitting right over there."

"You mean that red and white '56 Chevy? That's a cool car."

Roger thrilled. He enjoyed having Brian's approval even if it was only about his car.

As Roger drove to the motel, Brian told him about the mornings events. "That Charley is awesome. I just stood there behind the desk, frozen, and watched this guy jump out of the car and grab Joe around the neck. I froze for a second, then I called the police. At first, I thought that Joe was hurt because his knees buckled. But then I realized he did it on purpose to make it difficult for the kidnapper to move him. But Charley was so fast the man was dead before anyone knew what happened. Man, he put that bullet right through his forehead. When all that blood hit the window it shook me up. Pood Dave was standing behind Joe and got spattered, too. He had to have been horrified to get cover in blood and bits of brain and bone."

Roger wasn't showing any reaction to what Brian had told him. His sole comment was, "Oh, that was why the maintenance crew was in on Sunday scrubbing down the driveway."

He was wondering for the hundredth time why he'd lied to Charley about being in the service. He hated remembering those three years. But now he remembering the time he'd looked up from his sandy foxhole to see a young Iraqi, no more than a kid, with an automatic rifle pointed at his buddy. Roger had reacted so quickly that the kid was falling into the hole with them before his buddy realized how close he'd come to dying himself. It had taken Roger months with a lot of counseling to get over the fact that he'd killed the kid. He wondered how Charley was dealing with it.

Thursday afternoon Jake sat at a sidewalk table outside of Gates-Way Bookstore enjoying a cup of espresso and a novel by Robert B. Parker. His reading was interrupted by a body plopping down in the chair on other side of the small table, and a "Hi, Jake. How's it going?"

Jake looked up to see Arlen smiling at him. Arlen wasn't one of Jake's favorite people. He thought him to be immature and too self absorbed. He hadn't liked how Arlen had handled the situation involving the kiss when Jason had told him about it. He figured Arlen to be just a rich, spoiled brat. Jake nodded. "Arlen," he said.

Arlen turned and sat up straight, facing Jake. "I know you don't like me, Jake. But I need your help, and I don't mind eating crow to get it."

Jake raised his eyebrows in inquiry and waited.

"I'm sure you saw me talking to Jim at the commitment party last week and that I left with him."

Jake chewed the inside of his lip and nodded.

"We're together now."

"Congratulations."

"I get the feeling that you're not going to make this easy for me to ask."

"Just ask, Arlen."

Arlen nodded and studied the cover of the book Jake had laid face down on the table when Arlen had interrupted his reading. "I.... We.... You need to have it out with Jim. You've both avoided each other since he.... since he drugged you. He needs to get beyond what he did to you and I don't think he can until he confronts you face to face. You know he still loves you."

Jake snorted. "Jim's never loved anybody. Don't kid yourself Arlen. Jim's incapable of loving." Jake wondered at the animosity he felt as he said that.

Arlen looked up at Jake. "You know that's not true. And it's pretty obvious that you still care about him."

Jake just stared at Arlen. How dare this pretty college boy tell him how he felt, even if what he said was true.

Arlen dropped his gaze back to the table top. "Talk to him, please. Forgive him if you can. I know that Jim and I have only known each other for a week, but we both want to make a go of it. But you keep getting in the way. Not you personally. But what Jim did to you. Do you know what I mean?"

Jake studied the top of Arlen's head as he continued looking at the table top. "You surprise me, Arlen. I didn't think you had any real depth. I really thought you were just a spoiled rich college kid out to get his jollies."

Arlen looked up at him with a sad grimace. "My image keeps coming back to bite me in the ass. Jim thought the same thing."

Jake studied him a minute. "Alright, I will talk to him. I really don't hold any animosity toward him. I probably know him a lot better than he knows himself. And I didn't mean what I said about him not being able to love. Being a loving person is what made him such a good nurse. It's just that he got fucked up somewhere along the way when it comes to personal relationships."

"I know, we've been talking a lot about his past relationships. It was too bad they got between you two, although I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you if they hadn't."

Jake smiled. "Yeah, and I wouldn't have found Charley." A shadow passed through his expression.

"I read about the kidnap attempt. Is Charley handling it okay?"

Jake just shook his head.

"If Jim and I can do anything to help...."

"No, no, we're getting a handle on it. It's just that it all takes time."

Arlen nodded to indicate he understood. "So do you need Jim's number?" he asked.

"No, I've still got it up here." Jake pointed at his head.

Arlen stood up. "You don't know what this means to me, Jake. Thanks."

Jake stood. "No sweat, Man," he said, and offered his hand. Arlen shook it and left.

Jake sat and stared off into space. He sighed. 'I guess it is time,' he thought to himself. He pulled out his cell and called Jim. "We need to talk," he said when Jim answered.

That same Thursday afternoon, Dave had decided to spend the afternoon at home. He's told Charley and Roger to just go on home and relax, but to keep their phones handy just in case.

Charley waited until Roger had left the building before leaving to walk home. His sleep pattern was changing and this morning he'd awakened early. He'd left the house forty-five minutes before time to be at work and before Jake woke up. Instead of riding his bike, he'd walked across the campus to a little 24/7 coffee shop and then had gone to sit in the quad until time to show up at the Tower.

As he left the Tower and walked through the quad, he glanced across the street at Dave's bookstore. He saw Jake sitting at a table and was about to give in to the urge to join him when he saw Arlen walk up and sit down with Jake. "Figures." he muttered and turned toward home.

Jim's automatic response to Jake's call was to tell him to fuck off, but he caught himself and instead he asked,"Sure, Jake, when and where?".

"You know I can get away anytime," Jake said. "So when would be a good time for you?"

"How about in twenty minutes." Jim said, glancing over at Papa Joe.

Jake wasn't doing anything. With Charley acting the way he was, he couldn't concentrate on writing. 'Besides, Charley was at work,' he thought, 'so why not now.' "Sure," he said into the phone, "how about meeting me at the bookstore."

"That's good. I'll see you in a few minutes then."

Jake closed his phone, sat back with his book and tried to read.

Jim turn to the old man who for all appearances seemed to be reading the paper. Jim knew better. After being the old man's companion for nearly six months, six days a week and between eight to twelve hours a day, he knew that as soon as he heard Jake's name he was concentrating solely on the conversation. "Papa, that was Jake. He finally wants to talk. Do you mind that I go now?"

"What are you standing around here for? Go. Make sure you say what you need to say."

"I will, Papa.

While Jake waited he stared at the opened book, but didn't see the words on the page. He thought about Jim. He wondered what Jim might have learned from what he'd done. Did he have any compunctions about his actions? Had he felt any qualms? Did he have any regrets, except for losing his nursing license? Was he really contrite? Jake also wondered if Jim had been able to control his insecurities enough to open himself to Arlen and tell about the past that he only alluded to in the three years he had been with Jake. He figured someone must've hurt Jim very badly a long time ago. It must have been very deep for him to have built such a thick impregnable wall around his heart, around his soul even, imprisoning himself more thoroughly than any physical prison ever could.

Jim's mind was in a turmoil of conflicting emotions after Jake called. The call wasn't totally unexpected. Arlen had threatened to talk to Jake if Jim didn't. And Jim had promised he would, but had procrastinated. Arlen must have followed through on his threat. That gave Jim a warm feeling, knowing that Arlen cared enough to take the matter in hand.

Jim knew Jake to be a kind gentle man. But he also knew that if he was driven to it, he could be vengeful and capable of using physical force. "God knows I drove him to that point,' Jim thought. He was thankful that Jake hadn't sought legal action for what he had done. He could very well be sitting in jail right now. And he knew that Jake was not going to be vindictive now, but he was still apprehensive about meeting him in an unstructured situation.

Jake looked up when he heard a motorcycle stop at the curb. He watched Jim sit on the machine for several seconds before dismounting. Their eyes locked as Jim looked about for him, and then he dropped his gaze and walked over to Jake's table.

He stopped several feet from him. He looked up imploring. "I am so sorry for what I did to you, Jake."

Jake pushed his chair back and stood up. "Come on over here, Jim, and sit down. You know I'm not going to bite you."

As Jim approached, Jake held out a hand. Jim hesitantly took it and Jake pulled him into a hug. "It's good to see you again," he said. Jim started shaking. Jake patted him on the back and held him until Jim calmed. "Sit down Jim, can I get you a cup of coffee?"

Jim wiped at his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I need something to steel my nerves." Jake stood and turned toward the coffee shop. He noticed the people at several tables blatantly watching him and Jim. Seldom did his ire get the better of him, but it really irked him that they would so blatantly refuse him the privacy he deserved as a fellow human being. So what if he was a somewhat celebrity? He deserved his privacy as much as the next person.

Having to deal with Charley, and now Jim, made him just a bit testy. He glared at them. "Why don't you folks mind your own business?" He said. Their head snapped away and they all pretended that Jake wasn't there. He smiled to himself, picked up his mug and proceeded into the shop.

He looked around at the occupied tables when he returned. No one appeared to be interested in him and Jim. "You still like it black, right?" he asked as he set a mug of coffee in front of Jim.

"Right."

Jake sat down and sipped his coffee. He figured that from here on he'd let Jim set the tenor. Jim sipped his coffee and kept his eyes averted. He could see that Jake wasn't going to make this easy for him.

"I guess I've really been messed up for a long time, Jake. I've come to see that if I don't change my ways and take responsibility for myself and my actions, then I am no better than the men I hate and despise for what they did to me. "I know you tried time and again to get me to open up and talk to you about my past. I wish I could have. I wish I could have told you how I really feel about you, too, Jake. I do love you, you know. "I realize now that despite it having been absolute idiocy, what I did that night was an expression of my fucked up love. How stupid does that sound? I drugged and raped you to express my love for you. How insane is that?" He finally looked up at Jake. He wasn't sure what kind of reaction he expected from him, but to see no emotion of any kind not even in his eyes as he looked back at him, shook Jim to the depths of his soul. "Can you forgive me, Jake?" he asked.

Jake's eyebrows rose and his expression changed. Jim felt that what he was seeing in Jake's eyes was love, a caring kind love.

"Can you forgive yourself, Jim? If I say I forgive you and you can't forgive yourself, then nothing has been accomplished." he watched Jim considering the idea. "I left, Jim, not because you didn't love me. I left because you couldn't let that love out. You couldn't let my love in. I believe that if you can't openly express your love for that pretty college boy and accept his love in return, he'll eventually leave you, too. You do see that, don't you?"

Jim nodded.

"What you did..... what I did, that's all in the past. We have to move on and not let it affect us adversely. Tear down that wall around your heart. Arlen loves you, Man. Let his love in and love him in return."

Jim looked up. "So you forgive me?"

Jake closed his eyes and then looked at Jim again. He shook his head. "Don't you get it? I forgave you when I untied your hand."

Jim's expression was blank for a moment and then he grinned.

"Arlen's standing over there about to wet himself. Go prove to him that you learned something from all this."

Jim's heart quickened. He stood and looked where Jake pointed. He grinned at Arlen and jerked his head toward his Harley. Arlen met him at the motorcycle and got on behind him. The both turned and waved at Jake before riding away.

Neither man tried to talk until Jim parked the bike in his driveway.

"Aren't you on duty?" Arlen asked.

"Papa told me to say what I needed to say. Jake and I had our say. To use a cliche, we brought closure to our past. But I still have things I need to say to you."

Jake no sooner walked into the house than Charley verbally attacked. "Where have you been?" he demanded. "No, don't answer. I already know. I saw you having coffee with that college football jerk."

Jake waited until Charley was through, and then moved over to sit on the sofa facing Charley who was stretched out on the lounger. "Why didn't you stop and join us? You know you would have been welcome."

Charley made a rude noise. "I'm not in to doing a menage."

"And I'm not into anyone but you, Charley. Even when you're being a complete ass." It would've been so easy to just let loose, let his temper go and flare up at Charley when he was being like this. Jake knew what Charley was going through and he knew that either Charley had to start recognizing the signs or he was going to have to reach crisis level before he would accept help. So Jake stayed calm.

Charley just glared at him.

"Arlen, who I considered a jerk like you do," Jake continued, "stopped to ask me to meet with Jim. It appears that the two of them are an item now. Arlen is trying to help Jim get over what he did to me."

"You should have gone ahead and castrated the bastard."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't. I'd have gone the rest of my life feeling guilty." Jake got up and headed into the kitchen to see what there was to cook for dinner.

"You're such a wuss, Jake," Charley yelled after him.

Jake walked back into the room."Do you really think that, Charley?"

"Hey, you let Jim get away with raping you. You got all charges dropped on Robert after he tried to bludgeon your brains out. What should I think?"

"I guess that in your present state of mind, you should think I'm a wuss," Jake muttered and went back into the kitchen. He plunked down onto a chair and propped his elbows on the table. He'd lost his appetite, and at that moment he didn't care whether Charley ate or not.

A few minutes later he heard the lounger moving into an upright position. He looked up to see Charley standing with his arms akimbo, his fists planted aggressively on his hips. "I thought you were fixing dinner."

Jake shrugged. "I'm not hungry."

"Well, what about me?"

"You're a big boy. You know how to cook or go out to get something to eat."

"What's the matter with you, Jake?" Charley's voice was almost whining. "You're acting different these last few days. You used to care if I was hungry and you'd be home when I got home. You don't even try to snuggle me anymore."

Jake stood up and walked across the room to stand in front of Charley. He didn't touch him. "Charley, I love you more than life itself and that's not going to change. But I can't show you that love as long as you don't get help and start being the Charley I know again."

"I'm doing fine. What do I need help for? "

"Charley you've gone through a bad trauma. And you are not handling it. You are not doing fine. You need professional help."

"That's so much bullshit, Jake, and you know it." Charley turned and strode into the livingroom.

"Well, I'm not going to argue with you. You just remember that I love you, Charley. No matter what."

Charley mumbled something under his breath.

Jake repeated, "No matter what," as though he was trying to convince himself. He went into his office, sat down and stared at the computer's blank screen.