Dave was on the phone when Joe entered the Eyrie. He walked over to Dave, leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. Dave looked up at him. Joe could see the love and desire in his eyes. He mouthed, "I'll be off in a moment," and turned back to the conversation on the phone.

"I don't understand, if there is no evidence of drugs in his system, Allen, why do you think it is attempted suicide?" Dave listened for a moment. "What could be so traumatic that he just gave up the will to live?" he asked. "It just doesn't fit the profile of the man who wrote the book I'm reading."

Joe had started for the bedroom to change his clothes, but froze when he heard the word suicide.

"Well, please keep me informed of his progress. Thanks." Dave turned to Joe. "That was Allen Chestnut."

"Who tried to suicide?" Joe asked, as Dave laid the phone in its cradle.

"Jake Shipman."

"I've heard that name before. Who is he?"

"The author of this book." Dave picked up the book and showed Joe the photo of Jake on the dust cover.

"Oh yes, that's the book you bought in New York. Handsome man. What would make him do that?"

"That's what they are trying to find out." Dave had turned Joe toward the bedroom and was pushing him in that direction.

"And how did you get involved?" Joe asked, as he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it out of his pants.

"Jim Provost, the nurse that we hired to be your granddad's companion called me. He asked if I could pull some strings to get the hospital to let Jake's lover into the room with him."

"The man's gay?" Joe asked. Dave lifted the shirt off Joe's shoulders, and Joe let it drop down his arms onto the floor.

"Gay and no living relatives." Dave helped undo his pants, then pushed him backwards onto the bed and pulled his shoes and socks off.

"So did the hospital acquiesce to your request?" Joe asked, raising his butt to let Dave pull his pants and Jockeys off.

Dave chuckled as he stripped out of his own clothes. "What do you think?"

Joe scooted into the middle of the bed and was ready for Dave's pounce. "I think you are one horny dude," he said with a lascivious grin.

"Damn, I love your scent." Dave murmured as he kissed his way up Joe's torso. "Especially when you've been doing physical labor."

"I make it just for you, Babe," Joe said, and then groaned as Dave attacked the side of his neck with his tongue.

Chess followed Jim over to Pete and Jason's where the two young men made him feel welcome and got him settled into one of the bedrooms. Before leaving Chess with Jason and Pete, Jim gave him his cell number asking that he please be kept informed of Jake's progress.

Jason and Pete were sitting at the kitchen table studying when Chess wandered in. Jason looked up. "Would you like a cup of coffee, Sir?"

"No thank you. I know I'm old enough to be your grandfather, Jason, but call me Chess. Both of you. And if you'll tell me where to find a glass, I'll get myself a glass of water."

"They're in the cabinet left of the stove."

The boys watched Chess get his water. After he had taken a drink, Jason asked, "Do you know what happened to Jake? Why he's in intensive care?"

"Yes, but it's of a private nature and not my place to tell you."

"Jim said that he was responsible for it, but wouldn't tell me what he had done. I've got a feeling that he did something out of revenge for Jake leaving."

"You are right, but I still can't tell you. It will have to be Jake or Jim."

"Jake really loves Charley. I could see it in his eyes when he told me about him. He is going to be okay isn't he?"

"I certainly hope so. You know as much as I do at the moment."

"Oh," Jason said, realizing it would do no good to pump Chess for information.

Pete had sat there listening and felt it was his place to fill the sudden silence. "It's my turn to make dinner. Is there anything you'd like to request, Chess?"

"Why don't you fellows let me take you out, as a thank you for your hospitality."

"Sure, if you really want to," Pete said, looking at Jason and grinning for getting out of his night to cook.

"I do. So when you are ready, let me know. I'm going to lie down until then."

They nodded and went back to their studies. Chess went into his bedroom, lay down and called his wife.

"The hospital is calling it an attempted suicide." Chess told her.

"I knew it. That man just-----"

"Gloria, I swear before God, that if you don't lay off of Jake and keep your mouth closed around Charley, I am going to do something dire. What is your problem anyway? Is it that you're jealous? That he's taking your "Baby" away from you? Get a grip, Charley is nearly thirty."

"No, he's not. He's only twenty-eight."

"Nearly thirty, Gloria."

A sniffle is all he got in reply. He changed the subject.

Charley wanted to stay by Jake's side until he woke up, but when it was explained to him that Jake was intentionally being kept under sedation until his body had properly hydrated, he allowed his dad to drag him off to dinner and to get a good night's sleep.

Since Jason, Pete and Chess had walked to the hospital, they opted to hit a local restaurant. When told the options Chess decided Gio Gio's sounded the best.

The rotund Chef hugged Jason and bent down to kiss him on each cheek when he walked through the door. "Where have you been, my little friend. Surely, you are not too busy to come by once in a while."

Jason cocked an eye at him. "What, once a week is not often enough?" he said and giggled.

"Once a day I could live with." Gio replied, grinning, and then turned to Pete. "Ah, Pete, my man, you got the horrible cast off. I am so happy for you. I bet you love being able to hold your little one to your chest again." He kissed Pete the same as he had Jason.

Pete just grinned. And to cover his embarrassment he turned to introduce Chess and Charley, telling Gio that Charley and Jake were lovers. Gio shook hands with them and welcomed them to his restaurant.

"Ah, and how is Jake? I heard that he is in the hospital," Gio said.

Charley grimaced. "They are still keeping him asleep. Tomorrow they should bring him around."

"I do hope he will be okay. I will say a little novina for him."

He escorted them to the big round owners table and as they were sitting, Dave and Joe walked in. Gio threw his hands into the air when he saw them, and greeted them saying, "Maybe the whole family will show up tonight. And I'll lose lots of money feeding you all."

Joe laughed, knowing that the cost of the meals was always deducted from Joe's part of the profits with his Italian cousin although no one but the two of them and Dave knew that. "Funny you say that, Cousin," Joe said. "Johnny and Tim are meeting us here for dinner."

Dave had glanced around the room and saw Pete and Jason. "Who are those two men with our boys?" he asked.

"Oh, do you know Jake Shipman, our local famous author?" Gio asked. Both men nodded. "The younger one is his amore and the other is his amore's father. Come, I'll introduce you."

"No need Gio, you've got a good crowd here tonight to take care of. We'll introduce ourselves and sit with them."

When Pete saw his boss and benefactor approaching, he stood and asked them to join them. As he made introductions, Charley held Dave's hand in both of his as they shook. "I know you are the one responsible for the hospital allowing me to be with Jake. Thank you so much."

Dave gave him one of his warm loving smiles. "Jake is an important person in all our lives, even though we have yet to meet him. It's a pleasure to be allowed to do something for you."

Joe informed them there would be two more joining them so they all moved to leave two seats together for Johnny and Tim. The two walked in almost before they'd settled down, and they were all up and shaking hands again.

Charley had a bit of an advantage knowing a little about the men he was meeting, and as circumstance would have it, he was sitting next to Johnny when everyone settled again. When there was a lull in the conversation, much of which had been aimed at him, he turned to Johnny. "I understand you are a police detective."

"Was. I just went to work for my brother and Dave, along with my old partner who is now their head of security. I opted to be Joe's personal body guard."

"Why would he need a body guard?" he asked looking over at Joe who looked and dressed like a construction worker.

"Well, he's a world famous architect and hitched to one of the wealthiest men in the world. I'd say he needs a guard, wouldn't you?"

"Of course. So who is he hitched to, as you put it?"

Joe laughed, "Isn't it obvious? It's the man sitting next to him?"

"Dave? He looks like the guy next door."

Johnny chuckled. "He is. But he inherited the Way fortune, when his lover died. It's one of the largest fortunes in the world,."

"I heard about that. And that was Dave, huh?"

"Yup."

"Are they looking to hire more guards? I just quit the Kirksville Police Force to move here. Jake doesn't like me being a policeman after I got shot a few months ago."

"You're kidding." He raised his voice, calling across the table. "Joe, Dave, you're not going to believe this. Charley here is a policeman. He just quit the Kirksville police to move here. He's looking for a job."

The first thing the next morning, Charley called to check on Jake's status and was informed that he would be coming out from under the sedation probably mid afternoon. He then unloaded his Harley and rode it to the Tower to see Paul Hanson. After filling out a stack of forms, Paul told him that as of that moment he was on the payroll and that as soon as Jake was back on his feet he would send him and Johnny to Chicago for some special training, but until then he was to stay with Jake and tend to his needs. Charley tried to object, insisting that he should be earning his salary. Paul grinned and shook his head. "You don't know your employer yet. Believe me, he insists that you are to do just as I told you. When Jake is back on his feet you can then start working as a guard. Until then, your duties are to be there for Jake."

Charley relented and walked away muttering to himself about feeling like a freeloader while Paul grinned, knowing his employer's eccentricities.

Chess was delighted that Charley had been employed by Dave Gates. He really liked that man. He was so down to earth that one would never suspect he had more than ten dollars in his pocket. Since there was nothing more that he could do for his son, and knowing that Charley had just been befriended by a group of men that would be a strong support group for him. Chess decided that he should get back to his office in Kirksville and check up on his other two sons. He loaded his bag into the back of Charley's pickup, gave him a hug and headed home. Charley stood on the sidewalk and watched his father out of sight. He sighed and went back in to talk to Jason. Pete, who was studying to be an architect and civil engineer had a heavier class load than Jason and had left an hour earlier. He found the little fellow in the kitchen puttering around. Charley asked if it was okay to make a fresh pot of coffee and got a sermon on how he might be a guest, but he was also part of the household until he and Jake found a place of their own. When the coffee was ready he poured two cups and asked Jason to sit and join him.

They sipped their coffee in silence for a few moments. Jason found himself feeling as comfortable with the big blonde man as he was with Jake. "I just can't imagine Jake doing this," he said.

"Doing what?"

"You know, trying to off himself."

Charley smiled. "You know that he's not very fond of euphemisms, don't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Off himself. That's a euphemism for suicide or kill himself."

"That is so stark and harsh."

"Like Jake says, tell it like it is."

"Do you really think that he did?"

Charley looked at Jason and shrugged. "I've only known him for a few months, but no, I can't see him trying to kill himself."

"On the premise that he did, what are your speculations as to the reason."

"You use big words," Charley teased. "You sound like my dad when he's in court."

"I'm an English major." Jason said in exasperation.

Charley grinned at raising Jason's ire and then turned serious. He stared into the depths of his cup for a moment and then decided that Jason was someone he could confide in. He looked up at him. "Jake promised me before he left that he wouldn't have sex with Jim again. Jim forced him. Jake was not responsible for it happening."

"What do you mean, Jim forced him? Jake could probably squash him like a bug."

Charley leaned forward. "What I'm going to tell you is confidential. And I'm telling you only because you and Jake are such close friends." Jason nodded. "Jim drugged him. He admitted that to me last night."

"That son of a bitch. That's evil. How could he do that to a friend? He's a nurse."

"Well, even though it makes me furious, I am beginning to understand the relationship Jake and Jim had. First off, Jake never told Jim he was in a relationship with me until Jim was... until he was already fucking him. Maybe Jim wouldn't have done it if he had. I believe that Jim didn't really mean to harm him. And I think that the drug had an unexpected after-effect on Jake. Whether it was physical or psychological I don't know. But knowing Jake, his word is very important to him and he was probably very depressed at having his word broken. Maybe the drug enhanced the depression." Charley sighed. "I guess we won't really know until he is awake and tells us."

"Damn Jim!" Jason pounded his fist on the table top, making the cups jump. "He should know better than to play around with drugs."

"Jason, out of respect for Jake, don't mention anything I've said to even Pete. It's Jake's decision as to what happens with Jim. You know I was a law officer and if I was still, it would be my duty to have Jim arrested without Jake having anything to say about it. But I'm not a cop any longer and I believe that it is Jake's right to decide whether Jim should be prosecuted or not."

"I'm not sure I agree with you," Jason said, getting up from the table and taking the empty cups to the sink, "but I will keep it to myself."

"Thanks." Charley stood and pushed the chairs under the table. He then rested his butt against the counter and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Did you know my dad is a defense lawyer?"

"What does he think about all this?"

"Well, to make a bad pun, he kept his own counsel. I didn't ask him and he didn't tell me."

"What time will Jake be waking up?" Jason dried his hands.

"The nurse said it would be around two. I've got an appointment with Dr. Chestnut, the Psychiatrist, at eleven-thirty."

Jason looked at the clock over the stove. "It's ten-forty seven now."

Charley pushed away from the counter and stretched. "I guess I'd best get ready and head over there."

"Me too," Jason said, admiring the big man's body as he stretched. "I've got a class at the same time."

Jim was apprehensive about telling another medical professional about the pills. In the end he lied and told Dr. Chestnut that he had simply got Jake, who didn't drink much, intoxicated and seduced him. He talked at length about his past relationship with Jake and about Jake's need in bottoming. Being that Allen was gay and liked both topping and bottoming, he understood what Jim was telling him.

Allen was tickled, and horrified at the same time, by Jake's revenge for what Jim had done. He did his best to keep a straight face while he listened. One thing he couldn't understand was why Jake would have such a strong reaction to getting drunk and letting Jim take advantage of him. He didn't question Jim on that, thinking he might find the answer when he talked to Charley.

Charley ran into Jim outside of the doctor's office. When he asked him if he had admitted to using the drug on Jake. Jim hung his head in shame and admitted that he had been afraid to, as the doctor would have been obligated to report him.

"Well, I can't blame you. Personally, I think it's up to Jake as to what legal action should be taken."

"Does that mean that you won't say anything to the doctor?" Jim asked.

"I don't see how that would help Jake at this point. As I just said, if Jake wants to tell him, that's up to him."

"Thanks, Charley. I appreciate it."

Charley grimaced at him and entered the doctor's office without replying.

Charley found he really liked Allen Chestnut. He was easy and pleasant to talk to. Soon he was telling Allen the whole story about himself and Jake. When he got to the bit about his conversation with Jim and Jim's admission about the rape he left out the fact that Jim had drugged Jake. He noticed the skeptical look that Allen gave him and started feeling guilty for not exposing Jim. He wondered to himself why he was protecting him after what he'd done to Jake.

Charley was at sixes and sevens with his feelings. He liked Jim for his honesty and straight forwardness, yet he had a deep simmering anger that was ready to boil over given the right circumstances. He was also feeling hurt that his relationship with Jake hadn't been strong enough to keep him from wanting to die.

Allen could see all of this as Charley talked, and felt it was best to let the story be for the moment. He wondered if either Jim or Charley thought him dumb enough to accept the drunken rape thing. Charley hadn't realized that he had told him that Jake would never knowingly get drunk, two glasses of wine or four beers was his limit, and yet he was expecting him to accept the story of Jim getting Jake drunk? Well, he'd let it be for the moment believing the truth would come out eventually.

Allen set about helping Charley understand what Jake would be going through when he woke up.

A sweet light fluting entices me to search for its source. I rise and look around me. There's a naked Man lit by a bright light on the horizon. He's as beautiful as Charley. He's beckoning me with open arms. I can feel myself gliding toward Him. And then from behind me I hear Charley calling me. I look back toward his voice, I can't see him. I know I don't deserve to see him. I turn back toward the welcoming Man. He has dropped his arms and the light is fading. I try to move toward Him. He shakes his head and points behind me. I turn and glance back toward Charley's voice. I know I've lost the right to see him, I turn away. The light is dimming. The man is disappearing. I can't go to him nor can I go to Charley. I collapse, desolated, abandoned. The earth opens under me and I fall screaming into an abyss. Wait. Someone has taken my hand and is pulling me up. I instinctively know that if he lets go I will fall, and I will continue falling forever into blackness. I hold on tight, begging him to not let go. Charley's voice assures me he won't let go.

"Jake, are you awake?" I froze inside. I realized that I had been dreaming and now I was back in real life. My hand was still being tightly held. I turned my face away from his voice. "Jake, I know you're awake. I promise I won't let go. Open your eyes and look at me."

I wanted to scream in protest, I was caught between being awake and dreaming. I knew that if I woke up completely I'd be safe, but at the same time I never wanted to wake up. "I can't. I can't ever look at you again." I whimpered.

I felt his hands on each side of my face. He turned my head toward him. "I love you, Jake. I need you to wake up and look at me."

I opened my eyes and looked into Charley's and fell apart. Tears flooded my eyes. All the guilt of my reactions to Jim's fuck came rushing at me in full force. "Oh God, No. Go away Charley. Don't look at me. I am disgusting. I don't deserve your love."

I doubted that he could understand my words, but surely he could understand my anguish. I wanted to roll into a fetal ball, but I couldn't move. Oh God, I'm paralyzed again. They've used Jim's pills on me. I'm paralyzed again. But why would Charley let them do that? I closed my eyes willing myself back into that wonderful dreamless sleep. It didn't work. I could feel Charley caressing my face, kissing my forehead and cheeks. Tears flowed from my eyes.

Charley was speaking to me. I stopped the panicky thoughts and listened.

"It's okay, Jake. I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you again. I love you, Jake. Please don't go away again. Stay with me. I need you, Jake." I turned my head away from him. With a hand on each side of my face, he turned it back to where I had to look at him. "Jake, listen to me. It doesn't matter what Jim did. I love you. Do you hear me, Jake? I love you."

I slowed my breathing. I opened my eyes and gazed at him through blurring tears. He is so beautiful. He loves me? I am so ashamed. How can he love me? No, he can't love me. Jim was right. I'm a cock whore. Once he started fucking me, I begged for more and I wanted it harder. How could anyone forgive me for that. I had wanted it. I had needed it. I had gotten it. And I know I'll continue wanting and needing it. How can he forgive me for that? I closed my eyes. "Please, go away." I tried to whisper. I didn't know if he could understand me. My throat was dry, my tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth. "I'm so ashamed. Just go." I mumbled and turned my head away.

He turned my head back and slipped an ice sliver between my lips and leaned forward to kiss me. I turned my head away. He kissed my cheek.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay. You need help, Jake. I'm here to help you." He rubbed another sliver of ice over my parched lips. They felt dry and cracked. It felt so good. I opened my mouth and he slipped the ice in. I sucked on it greedily.

"No." I croaked.

"Jake, listen to me. I know what happened. You did nothing wrong. I love you."

"You can't love me. I'm not worth loving." I whimpered. And then rage at being unable to move filled me. "Why can't I move?" I yelled. "I know I'm not drugged, I can move my head and fingers. I'm not slurring. Why can't I move? God, I've got to pee so bad."

"You're being restrained, Jake. You've been having some violent nightmares. I'll get the doctor," he said and left the room.

I sighed with relief. Maybe he wouldn't come back. God, I was so exhausted. I closed my eyes and tried to find the relief of blissful sleep again.

The doctor came in. He was an older man. At least he didn't act cheerful. He brushed the hair away from my forehead. "How are you feeling, Jake?" He looked concerned. Without asking he slipped more ice into my mouth.

"Water, Doc. I'm so thirsty."

He held a straw to my lips and I sucked greedily.

"Not too much at first," he said, pulling the straw away. I felt like I could drink a gallon and still be thirsty.

"I'm so tired. I just want to go back to sleep. Please just give me something to put me to sleep, Doc."

"You've had enough sleep for a while, young man. It's time to wake up and start living again."

I just groaned in answer. Didn't anyone understand? "I need to pee so badly it burns, Doc."

"That feeling is from the catheter that was inserted into your bladder," he said, while he checked a bag hanging below my bed side. "Now that you're awake, and as soon as you can start moving a bit on your own, I'll have it removed." He continued checking the monitors while I noticed I had an IV stuck in my arm and wires stuck to my chest. I glanced at the monitor, it didn't beep like on TV, it just gave off a glaring greenish light.

"Charley tells me you don't want him in here with you."

"He makes me feel so guilty, Doc."

"I'll ask him to stay out until you're ready to see him again."

"Won't happen, Doc. Never. I threw away my chance with him."

"No such thing as never, Jake. There's always another chance. But I'll keep him out until you ask for him." He removed the straps that held me immobile. "How's that?" he asked.

"Thanks, Doc." As soon as my arms were free I tried to lift the one that didn't have the IV stuck in it. It took some effort to lift it off the bed. "God, I'm so tired, I can't even lift my arm."

"Jake, you haven't eaten or imbibed anything in eight days. You're malnourished and still dehydrated. You probably haven't consciously moved a muscle in at least five days. It's going to take some work on your part to get back into shape." He held a straw to my lips. "Here, drink some of this, it's full of electrolytes and other little nourishing things."

I drank until he pulled the straw away again. "That's ridiculous, Doc. I just lay down yesterday afternoon to take a nap. I'm in great shape. I'm just tired."

"Apparently your friend, Jim Provost, was the last person to see you, and that was eight days ago. You've been here for almost three days. You're holding the water and Gatoraid, are you ready for something in your stomach?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, if you'll just drink some broth and force down some Jell-O it'll make me happy. Another doctor will be coming in to talk with you. I think he can bring you around to looking at the brighter side of life."

"A head shrinker."

"I don't think he'd appreciate being called that, but yes, Jake, he's a psychiatrist."

"Why is he coming to see me?"

"It's SOP when someone attempts to do away with himself."

"You're thinking I tried to kill myself, Doc?"

He raised his eyebrows and looked at me. "Didn't you?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes. When he didn't reply I looked at him. He looked skeptical. "I'll leave you alone now. The food will be here in a bit."

I didn't respond. I didn't go back to sleep.

Allen had warned Charley that Jake might reject him on first awakening, but emphasized that it was important that he be at Jake's side when he awoke. "He might not accept you right then, but it will make a subconscious impact on him that you do love him," Allen had said. But still, Charley was emotionally unprepared for Jake wanting him out of the room.

After Charley had told the doctor how Jake had reacted on awaking, the doctor had explained to Charley that it would be best if he stayed away until Jake asked for him. He had collapsed into a chair outside Jake's room and thought about Jake's reaction. He realized that Jake had never said he didn't want him. Jake had said that he couldn't be with him. Charley could see that until Jake started getting his head on straight, he should probably stay away.

He walked across the Quad to the coffee shop in the bookstore, got a cup of espresso, found a table outside and sat down to call his dad. He talked to him awhile and came away feeling better. As he sat with his elbow on the table staring off into space his cell rang. He looked at the caller ID and said, "Hi, Mom."

"Charley dear, I just want to reassure you that Jake is going to come around. It's obvious that he loves you very much. You're just going to have to be strong for both of you until Jake gets his head and emotions straightened out. I know you two are going to be happy together for a long, long time. I want you to tell him, when you do get to see him, that I am sorry for being such a bitch to him. And I apologize to you, Son, for trying to hang on to you when you've already flown the nest. And even if you do object you'll always be my baby. I love you, Charley."

"Thanks Mom, I love you, too."

Charley talked to his mother for a half hour. He hadn't really talked to her since he'd met Jake. But with her changed attitude they both discovered that they had a lot to share. When he terminated the call he felt better than he'd felt in weeks. He hadn't realized how much his mother's attitude had been affecting him. Now if everything with Jake got straighten out, his life would be on the high road.

He was dead tired, but he felt good about life for the first time since the day that Jake had called from Atlanta. As he recalled that day it seemed eons had passed. Had it really only been less than two weeks? He stumbled his way back to the house, thankful the two younger guys were in class. He started stripping his clothes off as he closed the front door and headed to the kitchen for a tall glass of cool water. He felt grimy, not having bathed since yesterday morning. He pulled off his shirt and lifted an arm to smell his pit.

Teddy had just moved into the house the same day that Chess had left for home. He was just out of the service and was now working for Gio in the restaurant. He had just exited his bedroom when he heard the noise of someone coming in the front door, and thinking it would be either Jason or Pete, went out to greet them. Instead of one of them, he walked into the living room and saw a tall, well-muscled blond taking his shirt off as he headed into the kitchen. Teddy padded barefooted after him. When Charley lifted an arm and sniffed his pit. Teddy, standing close behind him, inhaled deeply and without thinking, said, "Mmm, smells good."

Charley whirled around to see who that baritone voice belonged to. Teddy was standing there in a pair of low hanging cutoff Levi's, the auburn hair on his chest tumbled over the low cut neck of a tight undershirt. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

"You must be Charley Hill. Jason told me you were living here while your partner is in the hospital. I am Ted Edwards." He offered his hand to Charley.

Charley took it, shook it and quickly let go. The man's good looks and self confidence made him uncomfortable. He cleared his throat. "You startled me. Yeah, I'm Charley. Nice to meet you."

"I saw you yesterday sitting in front of a bookstore across from the campus. You didn't look very happy."

"No, I wasn't. I mean... I wasn't very happy." Charley balled up his shirt.

"Things are better now?" Teddy stepped past Charley into the kitchen and parked his butt against the sink.

"Much better." Charley finally got his head screwed back on. "Why are you here?" he asked.

"I'm a guest at the moment, but hope I'm going to be renting one of the bedrooms here."

"You're a student?" Charley asked and stifled a big yawn.

"Not yet. I hope to save up enough for tuition for a couple of years before I start next fall." He stuffed his hands deep in the pockets of his cutoffs to hide his growing excitement.

Charley ignored the move and got the water bottle out of the fridge. He silently offered Ted some. He declined with a shake of his head and a smile. "So you're working around here?" Charley asked, getting a glass out of the cupboard and filling it.

"I got hired by Mr. Paolini at Gio Gio's Italian restaurant yesterday. He told me to take a day to get settled in. I start tomorrow."

"Oh, you mean Gio."

"Yeah."

"I didn't know his name was Paolini, too," Charley said. "I heard Johnny call him Cuz, but it didn't register that he is one of them." He drank the water, and set the glass in the sink. "Listen, I've got to get a shower. I'm feeling really grimy."

"Please, don't let me stop you." Ted said, with a big grin.

Charley noticed that Teddy made several short inhalations through his nose as he walked past him to the fridge. After replacing the water bottle and closing the fridge door, he raised both arms above his head in a total body stretch and yawned. "I know you like my scent, Ted. But I don't play around. Jake is my one and only. But you're free to sniff if you want." Charley grinned at him, thinking it would embarrass him. He walked back to the cabinet and closed the door which he'd left open.

Ted pushed off the sink and walked past Charley as he turned to leave the kitchen. He grinned over his shoulder at Charley, inhaling deeply. "Thanks for the sniff. You do smell good, Mr. Hill," he said, as he stepped into his bedroom and closed the door in Charley's surprised face.

Charley chuckled, slightly embarrassed himself, and headed for the private shower in the master bedroom, thankful that he didn't have to share a bathroom with that handsome redhead. He let the heat and the strong force of the spray beat some of the tiredness out of his body. After quickly toweling off and brushing his teeth he stretched out on the bed, covering his middle with the sheet. As he dozed off he could have sworn that he heard the door knob turn, but he was too tired to care if Teddy did take a peek.

When the tray of Jell-O and broth came I had to be fed. I was too weak, I could hardly lift my arm to my face, much less lift a spoon. The nurse made small talk while she fed me. I didn't respond, but I didn't offer any resistance either. I downed it without protest. When she left I stared at the ceiling for a few hours, I didn't have enough energy to get emotional. I was too weak to turn on my side to stare out the window. I thought about sleeping, but I couldn't slow my mind down enough to doze off. The future looked bleak. I thought about what I'd do as soon as I got out of the hospital. Maybe I'd head for the West Coast. I'd liked what little I'd seen of San Francisco. I could lose myself in the multitudes of a big city.

When the psychiatrist arrived I felt self conscious. I hadn't shaved since the morning before Jim did his deed. I wear my hair really short, parted on the left side. I figured it must be looking matted and in need of trimming. My teeth felt scummy.

"Hello, Jake, I'm Allen Chestnut. I am your Shrink." I guess he'd talked to my doctor. "I feel like I know you. You have some very staunch friends."

"Who are you talking about?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'You don't know who your friends are?' and then he started naming them off. "Charley Hill, Jason Warren, Pete Peterson and Jim Provost...."

I interrupted him with a derisive, "Jim Provost, yeah, right."

He ignored my comment. " And Dave Gates."

"Dave Gates?"

"Sure, he admires your work. He's the one that pulled the strings to get them to let Charley in to be with you. Oh, by the way, Charley asked me to give you this." He pulled a new cell phone out of his jacket pocket and handed it to me. "His cell is the only number in the quick dial. Just push the number 2 and hold it down for a couple of seconds."

He laid the phone in my hand. When he saw that I couldn't lift it, he took my hand with the phone and laid it on my chest. I clutched it like it was a life line.

"The next thing you need to know, Jake, is that I have had extensive conversations with Charley, and with Jim. They are both worried about you. They have held nothing back. So, I suppose that all that is left to do is sort out how you feel about everything that has transpired."

"Jim told you what he did to me, huh?"

"Yes, he told me he got you drunk and raped you."

It didn't register with me that he had said drunk, not drugged.

"And if I hear you right, you're saying he is my friend?"

"It was Jim Provost who found you and called for help. It was also Jim that contacted your buddy, Charley. Jim confessed to him that he had his way with you. He's very contrite about it."

I laughed. It sounded slightly hysterical in my ears. What I found funny was the stupid euphemism, 'he had his way with me.' The fucker raped me. And my good doctor couldn't say it. "The son of a bitch should be contrite. He raped me," I said. The shock value of the words had their effect. I could see in Allen's eyes that he was thinking differently about the situation. "Did he tell you what I did to him?" I asked. "He nearly lost his testicles."

"Yes." He grinned. "Yes, he told me. I privately think that was quite brilliant. It sure taught him a lesson."

I paused thinking about how close I'd come to mutilating him. "I was planning on leaving him tied up. I really wanted to cut his balls off. But I couldn't. I let him get loose."

Allen sat with his hands in his lap and looked at me, not saying anything for several moments. "Tell me about meeting Charley," he finally said.

I stared at him, blankly. "Just like that?"

"Sure, I already know Charley's side. It's quite the Cinderella story with a lot of real life drama thrown in, don't you think so?"

"I never thought of myself as Cinderella, but yeah, Charley is definitely Prince Charming. He swept me off my feet."

He laughed, "Charley said the same thing in reverse, he thinks you are his Prince Charming. So tell me about it and how you felt."

I closed my eyes and clutched the cell phone to my chest. I asked the doctor to help me turn onto my side. He helped me turn, then took a pillow and wedged it against my back; it gave me a feeling of security that I wouldn't just roll back with the board taped to my arm. It felt good to change positions. I felt the need to talk. It came out hesitantly, at first, but after a bit it just flowed out. It felt good to tell someone about my whole experience with Charley. I must have talked for over an hour. He kept giving me sips of water. When I got to our last night together I faltered.

"Jake, remember, everything you tell me is held in complete confidentiality. And remember too, I am a sexual being. I also have the same needs and desires as every other gay man. There is nothing you can tell that will be embarrassing. Okay?"

I lay there staring at him unable to tell him. I shook my head and tears filled my eyes. I wanted to tell him. God knows I needed to talk about it. But I just couldn't do it. Finally, the doctor stood and patted me on the chest. "Get some rest, Jake. You need to continue to recuperate. Maybe tomorrow you'll feel more like talking."

He left. I was left feeling like I had failed.

After Dr. Chestnut left, I lay on my side and stared at the blank wall. I entertained myself by playing games with his last name before deciding he didn't deserve such. An orderly came in with a glass of apple juice and held the straw to my lips. It was cold and sweet. I drank it all.

My thoughts were interrupted by two nurses and an orderly coming in to move me out of intensive care. One removed the sticky things on my chest that went to the heart monitor and wiped the goo off me that held them on. The other removed the glucose bag from the permanent stand and attached it to a smaller one with wheels, then she did the same with the urine bag. I noticed it was still empty. I was wishing she would remove the catheter so the feeling of needing to constantly pee would go away, but she didn't. The orderly then pushed my bed out the door and down the hall to an elevator. One of the nurses kept up a running monolog letting me know just what was happening.

We went up several floors where I was placed in a room by myself. My bed was next to the window; I could look out and see the mountains in the distance. God, I wished I was on my ol' Indian out in the fresh country air.

A few minutes later, after they had gotten every thing in order and left, another orderly came in with a big bouquet of blue Japanese Iris. Who knew that this was my favorite flower? Only my mother, but she's been gone for nearly four years. Who else could it be? The orderly handed me the attached card. I asked him to roll me onto my side so I could more easily look out the window. He placed the pillow against my back like Dr. Chestnut had done. I waited until he left to open the note.

I closed the card and just held it. I'd heard women make comments about men not being able to communicate their feeling to others. I was beginning to see what they meant. If I could have told Charley what I'd been unable to admit to Allen earlier, I wouldn't be laying in this hospital bed. I wondered if Charley would be calling me. I wondered what I'd say to him if he did. I wondered if he was expecting me to call him. I couldn't. I wondered where he'd learned that I like blue Iris.

The day was coming to an end. I was beyond exhausted. I still had a pillow tucked up against me and I couldn't roll onto my back. I found the button next to my head. A couple of minutes after I pressed it a nurse came in and I complained about the pillow. After getting me comfortable and insisting I drink some water, she smiled and asked if there was anything else. I was grouchy. I wanted to be left alone.

"Is it possible to keep everybody out of this room until tomorrow morning?" I asked.

"Sure, except for hospital personnel."

"Please, I can't take any visitors tonight. Is it possible to get a sleeping pill?"

"I think I could manage that right after dinner."

"How long is that?"

"We serve dinner at six. It's four forty-nine now." She shrugged as if to say, "You do the math."

"Thank you," I said, and closed my eyes.

I finally got my pill which she identified as Ambien and told me I would feel fine in the morning. While waiting for it to knock me out, I thought about Charley. He had met and talked to Jim. Now he wants to talk to me. I couldn't imagine Jim saying anything good about me except that I might be a damned easy fuck. I wasn't all that sure that Charley was really interested in finding that out. They'd both talked to Allen about me. I dozed into a drug induced sleep.

I dreamed they'd ganged up on me. Allen was playing referee as the two of them competed to see who would fuck me first. It was a tie so they started advancing on me together. I woke up in a cold sweat, surprised that I wasn't paralyzed again. I turned on the bed light. The Ambien hadn't been very effective; it was only one-thirty and I was wide awake.

I picked up the card that had accompanied the Iris and reread it. The dream faded away. I wished that Charley was here. I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that he wasn't, and might not ever be again.

I stared at the darkness outside and tried to keep from thinking. I must have dozed off for the sky was brightening with pink clouds when I opened my eyes. I sighed and wondered what this new day would bring. I turned on the light above my bed and moved the bed so that I was sitting up. The effort exhausted me, but at least I was able to do it. I lay back and waited for the morning visit from the nurse.

There was a light tapping on my door. It couldn't have been even six a.m. A large handsome young fellow, five or six years younger than me, peeked in and gave me a big shy grin.

"Jake?"

"Yes, I'm Jake. Come in."

"Hi, I'm Tim Corbin. I am on my way to class and since I'm about half an hour early I wanted to come by and welcome you into the family."

"It's nice to meet you, Tim. Sit down and tell me what in hell you're talking about? How do I merit a visitor before breakfast?" I was obviously still feeling out of sorts.

He grinned and shrugged. "Being family has its privileges." And then as he sat down he lost the smile. "Oh, maybe I'm jumping the gun. Your partner, Charley, hasn't been up to see you?"

"No, I haven't seen him."

"No one else?"

"Nope."

He stood up. "I guess I'd better come back another time."

"Sit down and tell me why you are here." I commanded. "Charley won't be coming to see me for a while. And probably no one else."

Tim sat down looking nervous.

"Charley should be telling you this."

"Telling me what, Tim?"

"Well, he's accepted the position of personal body guard to my brother-in-law. Johnny, my partner, is the personal guard for his brother. So he and Charley will be working together a lot."

I blinked, wondering what he had just said. I knew of Tim Corbin and Johnny Paolini's relationship through Pete and Jason. "Okay, let's see if I got that straight," I said to him. "Charley is now working for your brother-in-law as a personal bodyguard. And your partner, Johnny, is the guard for his own brother," I paused. I was getting myself confused. "Who is your brother-in-law...so they are both protecting your brother-in-law, Johnny's brother. Correct?" I knew it wasn't, but I hadn't had my coffee yet.

"No. Johnny protects Joe, his brother. And Charley's going to be protecting Dave."

"So who is Dave and how does he fit into the picture?" I'm cantankerous with no coffee and having a visitor before breakfast just made me more so. I damned well knew that Dave was the owner of my favorite bookstore and his lover was Joe Paolini, the internationally acclaimed architect. Pete had told me all that when Jim was taking care of him, after he his broke his arm pushing Dave out of the path of a speeding car.

Tim had turned red in frustration. "I'm sorry I've got you all muddled. Dave, that's Dave Gates, and Joe Paolini are partners."

"What do you mean by partners?" I asked, intentionally obtuse.

Tim closed his eyes before answering. "They are lovers. And Charley has been hired to guard Dave. And Johnny guards Joe."

"I see. So Johnny and his brother Joe are gay, as are you?" He nodded. "So where do I come into this picture?"

"As Charley's partner you are now part of the Gates-Paolini family."

"Who said I'm Charley's partner."

"You're Jake Shipman?"

"Yes. I am Jake Shipman."

"I'm confused."

"Yes, you are."

"Look, I'm just going to leave. I hope that what ever is wrong...I mean, I hope you get well soon."

"Tim." Feeling ashamed of myself for playing with him like that, I felt I should say something.

"Yes?"

"It was nice meeting you. Thanks."

"Your welcome." He left and then a second later he stuck his head back in the room. "Jake?"

"Hey, Tim."

"Charley and you are you going to become partners? Charley seemed so certain you already are."

"Time will tell, Tim."

"I hope it works out for you," he said.

I thought, 'Me, too,' as he disappeared again.

I chuckled to myself for a bit after Tim left. He was just a big overgrown kid, an innocent. I must be feeling better to get that much fun out of playing word games like that. I wished that Jason would come up to visit soon. I thought about how we had become close friends. He and Pete would get a bang out of this. It was through them that I knew who Dave, Joe, Johnny and Tim were. Charley was part of their family now, and they were trying to pull me in, too. Suddenly I was feeling better about life. I had friends that were concerned about me.

As I lay there staring out the window, it dawned on me that I was in a private room and that was why Tim had been able to just pop in. Was this standard for rape victims? Who had authorized it? I wondered if my insurance was going to pay for it? The thought of having to put out thousands of dollars for this treatment got to me. I grabbed the call button. The nurse hadn't even gotten into the room before I barraged her with questions.

"I don't have any answers, Sir. I will request that someone from down stairs come up and talk to you."

"Please do that."

"Is there anything else you need?"

"Is it possible to get a cup of coffee?"

"Of course, Sir. An orderly will bring you some right away. Anything you want at anytime, just ask."

I got my coffee. It was good; must have been from the nurses' private pot. I eventually got some breakfast. Solid food this time; a bowl of Cream of Wheat and dry toast. I discovered I was hungry. Besides more coffee, I drank two glasses of watered-down orange juice and a glass of milk.

A little later a nurse came in and informed me she was going to remove the catheter. I suppose I should have been embarrassed with her handling my privates, but I was too happy to be rid of the damned thing to care. Even the pain involved didn't bother me, I just wanted it gone.

Half an hour later I was definitely feeling a full bladder. The damned urinal was out of my reach. I had to ring for help. The orderly offered to hold the pee jug for me. I chuckled at his embarrassment and assured him I could handle it. I still only had the use of one hand; my other arm was still hooked up to an IV, but it was no big deal to maneuver the lip into place. It felt good to piss again. I got an image of laying in my piss soaked clothes, too weak to do anything about it and simply not caring. Emotions assailed me, anger, shame, depression. I placed the jug on the table and pushed it away from me. Letting the bed down, I rolled on my side and stared out at the cloudless sky.

The doctor came in, checked me over, asked questions about my liquid intake and if I'd had to urinate yet. I motioned toward the jug still on the table. He looked at the amount, took it into the bathroom, poured it into the toilet, rinsed the pot and returned it to the table.

"Well Jake, you're making a good physical recovery," he told me. "Keep drinking lots of liquids with electrolytes. Don't drink too much orange juice or coffee. They're both diuretics. We want to keep the liquids in you." He went about removing the IV from my arm and untaping it from the board. "We don't usually use the board and needle in your inner elbow any more, but you were so dehydrated we had difficulty finding the veins in the back of your hand or your forearm. How are you feeling today?"

I shrugged. "I want to live. I've got a couple more books I want to write before I call it quits."

"That's good to hear. We'll start getting you out of bed and on your feet today. Keep drinking lots of liquids. Dr. Chestnut will be in to see you later."

I nodded and he left.

Fifteen minutes later, a young fellow dressed in whites came in pushing a wheel chair. "Hi, I'm Gene. I'm your physical therapist." He took my chart and read it. He looked up at me with what I took as pity and it pissed me off.

"I don't need your pity. Alright?" I growled.

He looked contrite. "I don't pity you, Mr. Shipman. I do sympathize with what you've been through and what you will yet have to deal with."

"I don't need any sympathy from you, either," I growled.

He looked me straight in the eyes. "I was raped, too. By my uncle. I loved him. He was like a father to me. I know what you're going through."

Immediately contrite, I said, "I'm sorry. That had to have been much worse."

He nodded with a small smile. "So you've not been on your feet for a while, huh? Can you sit up?" he asked, holding out his arm to assist me. I was surprised, with a little effort and some help from him, I sat up. "Okay, now let's swing your legs around and off the bed."

I had my hand on the edge of the stupid gown I was wearing and as he swung me around it exposed me from the chest down. Gene blushed as he checked me out. I couldn't help but chuckle. "I can see why the perpetrator wanted you," he said, grinning up at me.

"Perpetrator? Perpetrator?" I was indignant. I snatched the flimsy gown around myself. "He's a damned rapist and you are incorrigible."

Gene grinned at me again. "If you can admit that, Jake, you're a long way towards healing. Let me go get you some pajamas." He ducked out of the room before I could reply, leaving me sitting on the edge of the bed. I propped my wobbly arms behind me, leaned back, closed my eyes and sighed.

He was back before I could get my thoughts pulled together. Kneeling in front of me, he stuck my feet into the legs of the pajama bottoms and pulled them up to my thighs, tucking the back edge of them under my legs to hold them up. "I was going to stand you up, Jake, but I don't think you're ready for that. Let's lay you back down and we'll do some resistance exercises and then this afternoon we'll get you up on your feet."

With a lot of effort on his part, since I had very little strength, he got me back into bed. The pajamas fell down around my calves, but this time the gown was primly wrapped around me. "It's amazing what dehydration does to a body," he was saying, "but you were in really good shape to begin with so it shouldn't be too much work to get you back to where your were." He worked my pajama bottoms up over my hips under the gown. I felt like a slug for not being able to lift my butt off the bed.

After getting me into pajamas, he put me through a mass of exercises, making me resist the pressure that he applied against the movement. When he'd worked all the muscles in both my legs and arms, he made me work my neck and then had me doing abdominal crunches. I felt like I was barely getting my head off the bed. I was exhausted and breathing hard when he finished. He then helped me roll onto my stomach and do leg lifts and back arches. I was soaking wet. I felt like I was lying in a puddle of sweat. He removed my pajamas and gave me a sponge bath. I got a hardon. He grinned, and tried to ignore it. He finished bathing me and had me back in fresh pajamas, lying between fresh sheets in short order. He then insisted I drink a bottle of Gatoraide. I would have thought that he would have called an orderly in to bathe me instead of doing it himself. Maybe he just wanted to see the rest of my body. Horny little fucker. I liked him.

After bundling the used towels, sheets and pajamas, he took my hand, looking down at me, he told me, "Jake, I think you're going to be okay real soon. I couldn't get an erection for over a year after I was raped. It took a lot of therapy."

"How old were you, Gene?"

He took a comb out of his pocket and ran it through my hair. "Sixteen. You need a haircut."

"It must have been traumatic. A kid is at his horniest at that age. I suppose your uncle went to prison?"

"Yeah, that was worse for him than what he did to me. They broke his spirit."

"Where is he now?"

"He lives with me. We'll talk more next time. I have another patient waiting. I'll get an orderly to come in and give you a shave." He patted my hand and made a quick exit.

It wasn't five minutes before an orderly came in with a basin of warm water and shaving gear. It was a modern razor, thank God, not one of those lethal looking straight razors. I let him do it while I mulled over what I'd learned about Gene. Compared to him, I figured I was really being a wimp.

I recalled a professor in a college psych coarse talking about being a victim. He'd said that many times being a victim is a choice we make. The way I was reacting, I was being a victim, feeling sorry for myself, shunning Charley and not giving him a chance to accept what had happened. God, I had nearly killed myself playing the victim role. How sad is that?

With the shave finished and left to myself, I lay back and thought more about how I was going to let this affect me. I'd had sex with Jim again after telling Charley I wouldn't. Even though it was involuntary, I'd enjoyed it. No one had to know that except Allen. I had a choice; I could accept it and deal with it, or I could feel guilty about it and let it ruin my life. My choice to make.

As for Charley? Well, he had to be given the choice of accepting or refusing what happened. I knew that if he refused me, I would be devastated, but I'd live. But if he accepted me after what had happened, then I would be the happiest man alive.

I'd barely thought this through before I had another visitor. I had seen him in the bookstore for years, but had never taken the initiative to meet him. That was back when he was simply the owner of the store, and now he was one of the wealthiest men in the world. He hadn't changed at all. He still wore a plaid flannel shirt, Levi 501s and cowboy boots. He was one handsome man.

When he knocked and stuck his head through the open door, I said, "Come in, Mr. Gates."

"Hi, Jake, so you know who I am."

"Of course, your bookstore has been my favorite haunt for the last six years."

He smiled at my comment, dipped his head in acknowledgment and said, "Congratulations, by the way, on the success of your new book. I see it's up to number two in the list of the top ten best sellers."

"It is? Thank you for telling me, Sir."

"What's this Mr. Gates and Sir bit? My name is Dave."

I grinned and nodded. "So what brings you to a lowly author's bedside, Dave?" I asked.

"Well, a couple of things. First, would you sign my book?" he asked, holding out a copy of my novel.

Laughing, I held out my hand for the book. "The Mr. Dave Gates came up just to get a novel signed?"

He gave me a lopsided grin and shrugged. "So I'm an opportunist."

"So what else can I do for you, Dave?"

"I've got some questions, but first, let me tell you I know what happened to you and why you are here. So, please don't feel the need to dissemble. Now, second reason I came up here, Jake. Jim Provost is our employee. He was taking care of Pete when you two were together, I believe." I nodded. "And now he's working as Joe's grandfather's companion. I wanted to talk to you personally before we dismiss him. You are pressing charges?" he asked. Actually, it was an assuming statement.

"Charges? I hadn't thought about that. I guess I need to talk to him before I make up my mind."

"You're kidding."

"Well, we were lo....buddies for a good while."

"But you're with Charley Hill now."

I wanted to scream. Why was everybody saying that? I'm not worthy of even kissing the ground under Charley's feet. I closed my eyes and stared at the insides of my eyelids.

"You haven't talked to Charley, have you?" he asked.

I opened my eyes and started to glare my anger at him, but the kind, understanding expression on his face turned my expression to one of chagrin. Still, I snapped at him.

"Not that it is anyone's business, but no, I haven't."

"You know you're hurting him, by closing him out." His voice was soft and gentle.

I felt like yelling at him to mind his own god damned business. But then the image of Gloria picking up her hand bag and pushing away from the table the day I had burned Robert's vicious notes, saying, "I know you're going to end up hurting him," hit me right between the eyes." "I know," I muttered, "but I can't see him."

"You're talking to Allen Chestnut?"

I nodded.

"That's good. I'll tell Charley."

"Tell him I lo....tell him I'm sorry." I tickled the edge of the sheet with my fingers.

"Of course, I will." Dave paused. "Jake? There is one more thing I need to talk to you about."

I raised my eyebrows in query.

"You're part of our family now. Even if you and Charley never get back together." He had a shy smile as he was telling me this. "We've adopted you and I'm afraid you have no say in the matter."

"Tim Corbin came up to welcome me this morning. I really don't understand what's going on. What is this family thing? What does it mean? And why me?"

"I guess there is only one way to explain this. It's a long story." He told me the whole tale of how he came into his wealth. He told me about how Tim's memory and quick actions had saved him when he'd been kidnapped and how Pete had saved him from being hit by a car. I already knew some of Pete's story. He ended his story with, "So, Jake, it is now you. And by the way, don't worry about the hospital costs, they're all taken care of."

"That is why I'm in a private room. I asked the nurse to send someone in to talk to me, but it hasn't happened."

"Don't worry about it, Jake. Just get back on your feet and write us another best seller. Oh, I nearly forgot," he said reaching into his shirt pocket and pulling out a card. "I need your signature on this card."

I took the card and looked at it. It was a bank signature card. "I don't understand."

"Call it an endowment, a gift. I just want to see you free to write to your heart's content."

"I still don't understand. I can see you rewarding Pete and Tim. They both helped you, to put it lightly. What have I done that you would be so generous to me?"

"Well, you have written a novel that may well help to change the way the straight world looks upon us. And that novel is good enough to be a top seller, which means the straight world has taken to it. Sue was telling me she's had to reorder it four times since you signed books at the store. She's requested copies of your first novel, too, if it's still available. She says lots of people are asking for it."

I shrugged at that. "That means a lot more money coming in for me. I don't need this endowment or what ever you wish to call it."

"You can do whatever you see fit to do with it. It is in a bank account with your name on it. It is yours. The bank needs your signature. Just sign it and I'll return it to the bank."

"I don't know quite how I feel about this. Actually, I feel a little resentful. I mean I really have done nothing to earn this."

"How do you think I felt when I inherited the Way fortune? Jake, you've got to realize my doing this is comparable to you giving someone a dime. So be resentful if you want, but don't feel guilty in accepting it. Sign the card."

"Did you do the same for Charley?" I asked as I wrote my name on the card and handed it back to him.

"No. Charley works for a generous salary."

"Does he know you've done this?"

"Why should he? This is between you and me. Of course, you're free to tell him if you wish."

"This is going to take some thinking about. And, Dave?" He looked at me. "Thank you."

"You are welcome. It was truly nothing on my part. After you have your talk with Jim I would like to hear from you. I really don't know how to proceed with him. He seems to be such a nice fellow." He stood up to take his leave.

"I'll tell you about it, Dave."

He took my hand and squeezed it. "You'll have to come over for dinner when you get out of here."

"I'd like that."

He smiled, handed me a small black deposit book, and left. I opened the booklet, shook my head in disbelief, then closed it. The rest of the day passed in a blur.

Charley hadn't had a chance to talk to Pete and Jason the evening before since Ted had been there. So when Jason and Pete got home, Charley told them about Jake waking up. Pete put his left arm, the right arm he still couldn't use too well, around Charley's shoulders. "It's a damn shame that Jim has put Jake in this bad place. Personally, I think that Jim should be prosecuted for it."

Charley gave him a hug, which he was needing himself. Pete gave him a brief hug in return and headed up to his bedroom. Jason wrapped an arm around Charley's waist and squeezed. "I hope that Jake will be willing to throw the book at him," he said.

Charley pulled him against his chest and rubbed his back. He found himself feeling very close to these two young fellows. "I do, too, Jason. But it is Jake's decision to make. I kind of feel I betrayed him by going along with Jim not telling the shrink about the pill."

Jason looked up at him. "You're a cop. You know that Jim has no business being a nurse and using illegal drugs. Especially a drug as awful as Date Rape."

"I know." Charley released him and sat down, scrubbing his face.

Seeing Charley starting to get down on himself, Jason changed the subject. "Charley, have you been in Jake's apartment yet?"

"No, I haven't had the time."

"Let's stop in and check it out before we go to dinner."

Charley looked up. He thought about actually seeing Jake's place. "Sounds like a plan. I am curious to see how he lives."

When Jason unlocked the door to the apartment and stepped through the door he shuddered.

"What's the matter, Babe?" Pete asked putting an arm around his shoulders.

"This place felt good when I came here a few weeks ago." He shuddered again. "It's bad now."

Charley walked past them and went directly into Jake's bedroom. He stood beside the bed, his arms at his sides, his fists balled, while tears of fury rolled down his cheeks. Jason hesitantly stepped up beside him and put a comforting hand in the middle of his back as he, too, stared at the bed, imagining what had happened there. The covers were rumpled and in the center of them was a big stain, it reeked of dry urine.

Jason raised his head, feeling the vibes of the room. "Charley, we can't let Jake come back here. It will take a long time for the bad vibes to escape from here."

"Plus, he'd have to relive the experience every time he comes into this room," Pete added, standing beside Jason.

Charley nodded and went into the bathroom to splash his face with cold water. He turned to take a hand towel off the rack and noticed the used condom laying over the edge of the waste can. He looked around and picked up Jake's toothbrush and used it to lift the prophylactic and examine it. There were curly hairs stuck to it. The reality of what Jake had been through suddenly hit him. Consumed with the mental image, he howled in agony.

Jason and Pete ran into the bathroom. Seeing what Charley held in front of him, Jason turned and sped into the kitchen, grabbed a zip-lock storage bag and headed back into the bathroom. Pete took the toothbrush from Charley and wrapped him in a hug. The big guy nearly collapsed on him.

Jason maneuvered the bag under the rubber that Pete held out and zipped it closed after it fell into the bag.

Charley quickly recovered and sat on the toilet lid and watched with a frown. "DNA evidence," Jason explained.

Charley nodded. "I'm obviously not thinking straight. I was ready to flush it when Pete took it away from me. Thanks guys."

Pete rubbed Charley's back. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm all right. I guess the reality of what Jim did overwhelmed me. Tomorrow I'm going to rent a storage unit and empty this apartment. I will not let Jake come back here."

"You're going to have to toss the mattress. It is ruined." Pete said.

"I'd toss it anyway because of what happened on it."

"You know it." Jason agreed with equal vehemence.