Arlen had taken Pete directly to a 24 hour Kinko's and paid for a hundred posters with Jason's photo on it, asking anyone to contact Pete's cell phone with any concrete information on his whereabouts. It offered a reward of five hundred dollars. Arlen got on his phone and recruited several of his buddies to help post the signs all over the campus and surrounding area. Within minutes Pete started getting calls. None of them substantial. They'd seen Jason but didn't know where he was now. When Pete got tired of fending calls Arlen took over and answered the calls as he drove around. At one point they thought they saw him go into the coffee shop on the corner. They parked and went in. Jason wasn't to be seen and no one had seen him. Arlen even opened the restroom door, but saw no one inside. As they left he taped a poster on the window beside the door.

Pete suggested they just go back to the house and wait for someone to call with real information. Arlen conceded and they headed that direction. When they pulled into the driveway they noticed that Jason's car was parked all the way up in front of the garage. Hoping he was inside, Pete managed to get out of the car before Arlen could get around to help him. He called aloud for Jason as he opened the door. The resounding silence slapped him in the face. Arlen noticed the envelope containing Jason's note and keys laying on the floor, scooped it up and handed it to him.

Dave walked over to the bookstore to see how Sue was doing. He missed his daily chats with her. On his way there he passed several posters taped on poles and trees. The first few he ignored, but then Jason's photo caught his eye. He stopped to read it. He pulled out his phone and called Joe.

"Joe, you won't believe what is going on here. There are Wanted posters pasted all over the campus offering five hundred dollars for Jason's whereabouts."

"You're kidding. Who do you think did it?"

"I don't know. Pete most likely," Dave replied.

"Wonder why he'd do that."

"Desperation? Jason reminds me of a little jackrabbit. He's so skitterish."

"Well, I hope they get their problem straightened out. I like both of those kids, and they really seem to have been made for each other."

"Yeah, like you and me," Dave said.

"You got that right. Love ya, Babe."

Pete tore the envelope open with his teeth letting the keys fall out. He grasped the note and shook the envelope off. As Arlen picked up the keys he heard Pete whimper. He glanced up and watched the note slip from Pete's nerveless fingers and float to the floor.

Pete let his head fall forward in defeat as he shuffled over to the recliner and collapsed into it. He lay back with his eyes closed. Arlen, filled with trepidation, picked up the note and read it.

"God, I am so sorry to have caused this, Pete. But it's obvious that Jason loves you. We just have to find him and make him listen to you."

Pete raised his eyebrows in agreement, but didn't open his pain filled eyes. Arlen collapsed on the sofa and they both dozed off, exhausted from their fruitless search.

Jim came in lugging two bags of groceries. Seeing his charge asleep in the recliner and another handsome young fellow asleep on the sofa, he walked on into the kitchen and put the groceries away. He'd seen the posters and as he worked, his curiosity got the better of him. He strode into the living room. "Alright wake up you two. I want an explanation," he barked. Pete and Arlen sat up rubbing their eyes. "What is the deal with the posters stuck on everything around the neighborhood?"

Pete stuttered, so Arlen broke in and explained why Jason was on the lam. When he finished Jim shook his head. "That boy has got to learn that running every time something goes wrong is not the way to handle things. Are you two hungry?"

Arlen helped Pete out of the recliner and they followed Jim into the kitchen.

"It's just sandwiches," Jim said, putting them on the table. He looked at Pete. "Damn, you look like hell. Jason wasn't here to help you this morning obviously. That's the same sweatshirt you wore yesterday. And you're not wearing any socks. Boy you are a mess. Soon as you finish I'll help you bathe and get into clean clothes." He shook his head and muttered to himself, "Didn't realize how much help that boy is."

As soon as dusk came, Jason put on a jacket and scurried across the campus to Fine's Grocery/ Deli. He kept his head down as he pushed a cart through the aisles, praying no one would recognize him from the posters. He gathered dry cereal and milk and some sandwich makings.

Outside a grimy bum was chuckling to himself as he sneakily tore a poster off the wall.

As Jason went through check out the woman looked at him for several seconds as she ran his chosen items across the scanner. Jason cringed. He ducked his head praying that she hadn't figured out where she'd seen him. "I don't know what you've done, Honey. But good luck, huh?" she said handing him his bag of groceries.

"Thanks," he muttered and scurried out the door. He didn't notice the dark figure standing in the shadows studying the poster in his hands. He didn't hear the man chuckle to himself as he fell in behind him. With his head low he hurried back to Jake's apartment. He pulled out the key, but an arm sneaked around his throat as he started to put it into the keyhole.

"Gotcha!" The bum's raspy voice laughed in his ear.

Jason dropped the key and his groceries and kicked backwards, catching the man on his shin. He bopped Jason on the side of his head and tightened his hold on his throat. When Jason stopped struggling the man reached down and unhooked the cell phone from the clip on Jason's belt. He dialed the number from the poster.

Jim ended up making dinner for Arlen and Pete and then left. They dozed fitfully until the ring of the phone woke them. Pete fumbled for his cell phone in the dark. "Hello?" he answered, as Arlen found the lamp at the end of the sofa and turned it on.

"Are you the party offerin' the money for this little black headed hellcat?" a raspy harsh voice asked.

Pete mentally cringed at the thought of his sweet little guy in the hands of a goon with such a creepy voice, but mentally chuckled at the thought of him being described as a hellcat. "Y-y-y-yes. Yes, that's me," he stuttered.

"Well, I've got the little bastard. Meet me outside number 14 at the College Garden Apartments on Harding Street. I grabbed him just as he was unlocking the door. Get here fast. He's already bitten my arm and kicked me in the shins."

Pete heard Jason yell in the back ground, "Let go of me you stinking bum."

"Don't hurt him," Pete yelled into the phone. "The reward is off if you do."

"Well, hurry up. I don't know how long I can hold on to this little fucker."

"We're on our way."

Pete repeated the address to Arlen as he struggled to get out of the lounger. Arlen already had his jacket on and held the one that Jim had altered for Pete to wear over his cast. He put his shoe on the footrest and pushed. Pete shot up and Arlen steadied him on his feet. Pete yelled, "Come on," ignoring the jacket as he pushed past the big jock and headed out the door. Arlen pulled the door closed, beat Pete to the car and opened the door to help him in. He tossed the jacket to Pete as he started the Mustang.

While the man was on the phone, Jason squirmed and turned until he faced him. His nose was buried in the man's filthy shirt. The smell of unwashed body, spilt stale beer and cigarette smoke gagged him. Apparently Jason's diminutive size gave the man false confidence, he was unprepared for his attack. As he closed the phone, Jason simultaneously rabbit punched the man in the stomach and in his side, and raised his knee to connect hard with the man's testicles.

The man grunted and let go of him to protect his balls. Jason took off running. The man held his testicles for a moment, waiting for the pain to subside. Seeing his reward get away, he scurried after him. Jason ran as fast as his short legs would move. He was fortunate that the man, although long legged, was not in good physical shape. Jason kept his distance and ran for the Tower. Bursting into the lobby, he collapsed against the Guard's desk. "Dave Gates, please. I'm Jason Warren."

The guard, taking his time, called up to verify that it was okay to send Jason up to the Eyrie. "The first elevator," the guard said, and pointed at the single door next to the two double doors. As the elevator enclosed Jason in its safety, the bum rushed into the lobby. The guard stepped around the desk to intercept him.

"Where did that little creep go?" the grimy man demanded, clinging to the edge of the desk to keep from collapsing as he sucked in air. He looked around full of suspicion as if the guard was hiding Jason behind a potted palm.

"What are you talking about?" The big guard asked, his voice full of disgust.

"I saw him come in here..... I want my money...... I'm the one that found .... him." He was breathing hard, gasping out the words.

"Looks to me like he got away from you. Why're you chasing him, anyway?"

"The reward..... five hundred dollars..... for catching him..... And I caught him,..... but he got away.... I saw him run in here...... Where did he go?"

"Well, that I can't rightly tell you," the guard said.

"You know where he went. You just want that money for yourself." The man slunk outside, but he wasn't defeated yet. He slipped Jason's phone out of his pocket and called the number again. It rang a couple of times before a different voice answered. "I want to speak to the guy offering the reward."

"You're speaking to him," Arlen replied. "Where are you? We're at the apartment and you nor the young man that we're looking for is here."

"He got loose and ran. He's some where in this tall building called The Tower. The guard won't tell me where he went."

In the Eyrie, Dave and Joe had gotten Jason calmed down enough that he could talk. He'd slowed his breathing to normal, but he was still bristling with the indignities of that nasty street person having his hands on him. He shuddered as he watched Dave standing at the microwave heating milk. Joe put a comforting arm around his shoulders. "May I wash up, please? I stink like that nasty bum." Joe showed him the guest toilet.

When he came out Joe motioned him to a chair. He was still bristling with indignation. "Can you believe there are posters all over campus offering a reward for catching me? I guess I should be thankful it didn't say 'Dead or Alive,' I'd probably have been shot by some maniac by now."

"Why are you being hunted? What did you do?" Joe asked. He watched Jason pop off the chair and stride across the room and back.

"I didn't do anything." He couldn't keep his eyes off the cups Dave was removing from the microwave.

"So why don't you sit down and drink this hot chocolate and start from the beginning." Dave sat three steaming cups on the table.

Jason sat back down and the two men sat on each side of him. He took a cautious sip of the hot brew. "Mmm, this is good." His stomach growled. "I haven't eaten anything all day. I was afraid to leave the apartment until dark."

"You might have been safer shopping in the daylight," Joe commented.

Jason grimace in response.

"Would you like a snack?" Dave asked.

"Anything, thank you."

Dave got up and sliced some roasted chicken and made a sandwich for him. Neither of the men pushed him to talk while his eyes followed Dave's every move. When Dave sat the sandwich in front of him Jason grabbed it up and took a big bite.

Joe chuckled. "Slow down, Man, no one's going to take it away from you."

Between chewing mouthfuls of sandwich Jason began telling them about yesterday's events. Joe interrupted him when he got to where he'd sneaked upstairs and saw Pete laying on the bed sobbing. "Have you stopped to wonder what he was crying about, Jason?" Dave asked.

"Arlen probably had his way with him and then dumped him. I just wanted to run."

"Which you did," Joe commented dryly. "Go on."

When he got to the point where he saw Jake's name on the book cover in the store window and called him, Joe interrupted. "You talking about the author of Those Shifting Sands?"

"Yeah."

"So you are friends with Mr. Shipman?"

"Ever since Jim started taking care of Pete. He was Jim's friend you know?"

"So where is he now?"

"He didn't tell me. I guess he and Jim broke up and Jake left town for a while. He sounded like he was on the edge of a freeway when I talked to him."

"I'd really like to meet him," Dave said.

Jason continued his story, telling about hiding behind the hedge. This time Dave interrupted. "Jason, you don't know that Arlen spent the night, and even if he did, it might have just been to give him moral support. Besides, if you knew Pete was searching for you, why didn't you just go talk to him?"

"He was with Arlen. Have you seen that guy? He's huge. Well, not huge, but tall and well-built and handsome. He's the star quarterback. What kind of competition could a puny little runt like me offer? There's no way I could compete." Anger had entered his voice again.

"Have you stopped to consider that there is no competition, that you have Pete's affections hands down?"

Jason looked at Dave like he'd lost his mind. "If you had a choice between me and a big gorgeous football player who would you chose?"

"Jason, from what little I know of you I would probably choose you. You may be small, but you're handsome and spunky. You're one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. And if I was as madly in love with you as Pete is, there would be no choice, would there? And from what I've seen, you are Pete's whole world."

Jason studied the table top. Joe and Dave waited for him to complete his thoughts. Finally looking up he said, "Maybe I should call him, huh?"

At that moment the chime from the guard desk in the lobby sounded. Dave went to the phone and picked it up, listened a moment and said, "I'll be right down." He turned to Joe and Jason. "There's a disturbance in the lobby. I'll be back in a moment." He turned and stepped into the elevator. Joe and Jason looked at each other.

"It's that bum. I bet he's still trying to get that reward."

Joe smiled and shrugged. "Well, he won't get his hands on you again."

When Pete and Arlen arrived at Jake's apartment, Arlen picked up the spilled items, stuffing them back into the bag. He discovered the apartment key laying on the edge of the sidewalk, nearly hidden by a plant. He unlocked the door and carried the bag into the kitchen. Pete's cell phone rang. Arlen answered it and yelled, "Stay right there we're just a couple of blocks away." He then cut the connection and yelled for Pete who was wandering listlessly though Jake's apartment, taking note of how Jason had already settled in. "Pete, he's in the Tower condo building. Come on."

"He ran to Dave," Pete yelled back as they ran for the car.

In minutes they were pulling under the portico at the Tower. A grimy man with stringy, greasy hair and a dirt streaked face stepped out of the shadows. "You's the guys offering the reward?" he asked.

"Yes, where is he?"

The man shrugged. "Like I told ya, the guard won't tell me."

"Well, if we can find him, you'll get your money. Wait here," Arlen commanded and went inside

The grimy man looked at Pete with his cast. "That little turd do that to ya?" he asked motioning with his chin at Pete's arm.

Pete looked at the man with disgust. "No and don't call him a turd."

"I call 'em like I see 'em. The little shit kneed me in the balls."

"You probably deserved it. And if you want that reward you'll show a little respect," Pete countered.

"You damned college kids are all alike, playing high and mighty with daddy's money. Wait 'til you get into the real world you'll see.... it ain't so easy."

"It's obvious that it hasn't been easy for you." Pete turned and went inside where Arlen was already querying the guard.

"So what are you hunting him down for?" the guard was asking.

"It's a private matter. I promise we're not going to hurt him. We just need to talk to him."

Pete stepped up and interrupted. "Sir, would you call Mr. Gates and tell him that Pete is in the lobby."

"And who is Pete?"

"I am."

"Do you have a last name?"

"Peterson, sir."

Arlen was looking frustrated that Pete was being so polite to the stubborn guard and that the guard was being more responsive to him. Pete shrugged.

The guard took a minute to process up to Dave the name and what was occurring in the lobby. When he put the phone down he looked at Pete with a new respect in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Mr. Peterson, Dave will be right down."

Arlen leaned into Pete and whispered, "This is The Dave Gates?"

Pete only nodded. He noted the guard's name as he spoke to him. "Richard, don't call me Mister. I'm one of Dave's employees just like you are."

"You're kidding."

"No, I work in his bookstore. Well, I will again soon as I get this cast off."

Richard reached across the desk offering his hand. "Now I know who you are. It's really cool to meet a real hero, Pete."

Pete blushed and said, "I just did what I had to do. I'm no hero."

Richard grinned and winked. "Bullshit," he said.

Arlen was looking puzzled. Richard turned to him. "You are aware this man saved Dave's life, aren't you?"

"I had no idea," Arlen muttered.

The guard grinned. "That's why he's wearing that cast. Took the hit for Dave, pushing him out of the path of a speeding car. Modest young bugger, isn't he?"

At that moment the elevator opened and Dave strode across the lobby to Pete and gave him a big hug. "Are you all right, Pete?"

Pete just nodded. Dave turned to Arlen. "Hi, I'm Dave Gates. Just Dave to my friends and family. If you're a friend of Pete's, then welcome to the family."

"It's nice to meet you, sir. I'm Arlen Aldridge. My dad will have a stroke when he learns I met you."

"Carl Aldridge is your dad? Yes, he did mention that you're attending school here. When you talk to your dad give him my regards. And you might tell him you have some very esteemed friends." He nodded at Pete who just blushed again. "Pete, you know that Jason is up in the Eyrie, right?"

"Yes sir, that's why I'm here. I've been trying to catch up with him for two days. He just keeps running."

Dave chuckled. "So you put up reward and wanted posters. Ingenious, but it sure pissed him off. He's....."

Arlen interrupted him. "Excuse me, but speaking of rewards I owe the bounty hunter that ran him to ground." He turned and went outside to deal with the man who had called them.

"As I was saying," Dave continued, "you have Jason running scared. That man that Arlen is paying off out there scared the bejesus out of our boy."

"I wasn't the ingenious one, but maybe I can talk to him before he runs again."

"Is it too personal for me to ask what your argument is about?"

"We haven't had an argument yet. He caught Arlen kissing me and just packed up and left."

"You have something going with Arlen?"

"No, Dave. We're just friends. Arlen is straight as far as I know. He was just curious to what it would be like to kiss me. He caught me off guard and Jason saw us."

"Hmmm," was Dave's only comment as Arlen came back inside and Dave motioned the two young men to the elevator. "Thanks, Richard." he called across the lobby and waved to the guard.

"You know that is probably Pete coming up with Dave." Joe said.

Jason nodded, looking at the elevator doors with trepidation. When the doors opened to reveal Arlen with Pete and Dave his fear turned to consternation. He stood up knocking his chair over backwards.

Pete walked up to him. "Jase, we have to talk."

Jason held himself stiff with anger. "You've got your new boyfriend. There is nothing to talk about."

"Jase, you've got it all wrong....."

"Wrong? I saw you kissing that big gorilla and I have it wrong? I saw him coming out of the house this morning just as if he lives there. He obviously spent the night with you."

Arlen picked up the chair and set it upright, nudged Pete to the side and stepped up to the diminutive Jason. He put a hand on Jason's chest and pushed him back to sit on the up righted chair. "Why don't you sit there and shut up until your boyfriend has a chance to explain. Yeah, you saw me kissing him. He didn't have a choice. I caught him by surprise and kissed him before he knew what was happening. I've apologized to him repeatedly. And I'll apologize to you, too, if you'll let me. I went to get him early this morning to help him look for you. I spent the night in the dorm. You can check with my roommate if you don't believe me. I know Pete totally loves you and I know you feel the same about him, so stop being stupid and make up."

Arlen's direct, no bullshit approach, stunned and surprised everyone in the room

Jason gulped and nodded his head. He looked from Arlen to Pete and back. Sliding off the chair he put a hand on Arlen's chest and pushed. "You're standing between me and my boyfriend, you big bully."

Arlen stepped back grinning. Jason stepped up to Pete. "I'm sorry, it's just my nature to run from hurt. Now I've hurt you. I'm sorry, Petey."

Pete wrapped his arm around the little guy. "There is no one in the world for me but you, Jase. I love only you, and if you don't start believing that, I don't know what I'll do."

"I know you do, but I saw you in his big arms and my mind just shut down. I never stopped to think. I just ran."

Arlen tousled his hair. "Jason, I gotta admit I really like kissing your boyfriend, but I'd rather have the two of you as my friends. I apologize for all the mayhem I've caused."

Jason looked up at the big jock. "Well, if we're going to be friends. We need to start off on the right foot." He offered Arlen his hand to shake. "Hi, I'm Jason Warren. Pete's boyfriend."

"It's nice to meet you, Jason. I'm Arlen Aldridge. Pete's friend, and hopefully yours." He took Jason's hand and formally shook it.

Pete smiled. "I guess none of this would have happened if I'd introduced the two of you on day one." He hugged Jason again. Arlen just beamed along with Joe and Dave.

"Have you guys had dinner?" Joe asked. With an unanimous "No" for an answer, he suggested they all go to Gio's for dinner... on him.

Dave laughed, "When have you ever had to pay for a meal at Gio's?"

Nothing about Pete and Jason's altercation was said during the meal at Gio's. The two young lovers kept glancing at each other all evening, once in a while catching each other's eye. When they did they'd smile shyly. When they left the restaurant they all strolled back to the Tower and parted ways in the lobby. Arlen offered Pete and Jason a ride home.

Jason had to sit in the backseat by himself. He hadn't gotten over the insecurities that seeing Pete and Arlen kissing had instilled in him. He hunkered in the uncomfortable seat, and watched the ebullient Arlen talking to Pete. It was something about one of their classes. Jason paid no attention. 'I'm just a backseat person. The big guys always put me in back,' he thought to himself, ignoring the fact that Pete could no way get in the back of the Mustang with that awkward cast. But he knew that even without the cast Pete with his long legs would sit in front where there was more leg room while he being small would be shunted to the back seat. He sighed, 'It's no big deal, I guess, I just live in a big people's world.'

Arlen pulled his car into their driveway, hopped out and opened the passenger door and helped Pete out, who made his way to the porch. Arlen then held the seat forward so Jason could crawl out of the back. He tousled Jason's hair as he straightened up. Jason frowned up at the big smiling jock. "Arlen, if we're going to be friends, you're going to have to stop treating me like a pet."

"What do you mean? I thought I was being nice to you."

"That was the fourth time you have tousled my head in the last three hours. I really don't like it. Okay? I'm not a puppy."

"Hey, man, I didn't mean anything by it. I was just being friendly."

"I'm the same age you are, Arlen. Despite my size, I'm not a little boy. You want me to respect you, then you've got to respect me."

"Gee, Jason, I'm sorry. I guess that I did look on you as just a cute little kid. Forgive me, again?"

"We'll get off on the right foot yet, Arlen. I think I might even learn to like you," Jason said and smiled. "You seem okay, despite having kissed my boyfriend."

Arlen looked relieved. He had come to value Pete's friendship and he knew it couldn't come to full fruition unless Jason was his friend, too. "Are you guys going to be okay with each other? I still feel really bad for being responsible for all this."

"Is it true that you really gave that bum $500 for finding me?"

"Yeah I did. I was desperate. Pete was going out of his mind not knowing where you were, and it was all my fault. I had to do something."

"You are a good guy, Arlen. Pete's lucky to have you for a friend."

"I'm the lucky one. And I want to be friends with you, too, Jason."

Jason wrapped his arms around the big guy. His head only came up to Arlen's chest. Arlen hugged him around his shoulders with one hand and rubbed his back with the other. He kept his hand away from Jason's hair. "We're friends," Jason declared.

Pete had watched in apprehension from the porch. He couldn't quite hear what his lover and his friend were saying, but he knew everything between them was okay when Jason hugged Arlen. Jason turned to walk up to the house, and Arlen turned to get into his car. Pete waved. "Thanks, Arlen, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Jason took Pete's keys and unlocked the door. Once inside they were shy with each other. They had hardly said a word to each other all evening.

They stood facing, at a loss for words for where to begin knitting up the damage they'd both done to their relationship. Pete reached for Jason's hand and they ended up in a tight embrace.

"We have a lot to talk through, but we're both exhausted. I stayed in that damned lounger last night. I don't sleep well with out you in bed with me. Let's go to bed and talk tomorrow."

"I love you, Pete."

"I love you too, Babe. Come on let's get some sleep."

They crawled into bed with Jason on the right side away from the cast arm. He snuggled against Pete with his head on the corner of his pillow which he'd pulled over the cast that covered his lover's upper torso. When Pete's breathing settled into a soft snore Jason rolled to his side of the bed and lay staring at the dark ceiling.

It may have only been a splinter, but it was a wedge none the less that Arlen had driven into his trust of Pete. Despite the protest of innocence Jason knew what he'd seen and he had seen Pete caress the back of Arlen's head during the kiss. And the image of that caress lay on his memory like a scab. Would it in time dry up and fall away, leaving an unnoticeable scar? It would take trust. Could he find faith in Pete's love for him to be able to trust him without question, without doubt? Jason turned on his side to stare at his lover in the dark. His love for Pete left him with no choice. He'd simply have to learn to trust him again.

It was too late in the growing season for cool weather vegetables, but carrots, corn, tomatoes, and herbs found their way into the garden plot over the following weeks. I bought an automatic timer that hooked right on to the faucet and laid soaker hoses down the rows. All I had to do after that was weed and aerate the ground once in a while, and wait for the vegetables to grow.

The corn had matured and we enjoyed three ears each. Charley was impressed with how much better they were than even corn bought at roadside markets. The tomatoes had been big and juicy and more flavorful than any he'd ever eaten. The vines were looking tired and worn out by the time my novel was published and ready to hit the bookstores. If it hit the charts I would have to be traveling the country on a book signing publicity tour. It hit number nine the second week after its release. Charley was ecstatic. I was well pleased, but I didn't want to be away from Charley for two months.

The occurrence on my bike still haunted me. I thought I'd gotten past all that crap. I really thought that loving Charley and being loved by him had negated that hollow aching need that I'd hidden even from myself. Having to leave on that damned tour made me hesitate even more in not saying anything to Charley about it.

During the months before I had to leave we'd settled into a livable agreement, he would continue being a Cycle Cop and I'd live with the anxiety. I wasn't about to ask him to quit. And he wouldn't quit unless I asked him. It wasn't a verbal agreement. It just seemed to work out that way. My mother would have commented that it was 'a guy thing.'

My agent sent me the agenda for the book signing tour. There would be thirty cities in forty-five days. It was going to be grueling, but it would immensely raise the sales of my book. Being I was from University City, the first signing would be at the Gates Way Bookstore where I used to spend a couple of hours every day eating my lunch and reading.

Charley had to be on duty at seven the morning I had to return to University City, so I planned on leaving at the same time he left the house. The book signing was to start at one that afternoon. I figured I could arrive with time to spare. I didn't have much to pack, my PC, and a couple of books went into the saddle bags. My clothes went into the small duffle and it was tied onto the back.

When I left Unicity I had done nothing about my apartment other then lock the door as I was leaving. I, later, dropped a note to the landlord telling him I'd eventually return, and asked him to please empty the fridge of any perishables. My bank automatically paid the rent, utilities and phone bills each month. All I had to do was unlock the door and I was back.

We'd made our last evening together special with an intimate meal at an expensive steak house. Later we slowly undressed each other teasing as we stripped. By the time we were naked we were so hot we were gushing. Charley pushed me onto my back and crawled on top of me. In moments our bellies were slick. We were enjoying the feel of our cocks rubbing against each other when I moaned out, "Charley, you've got to fuck me. I need to feel you inside me."

He froze, holding his breath. It was several seconds before I felt his body slowly relax and his breath again on my neck.

"Jake, let's save it for when you get back. Make it something special to celebrate your return."

He growled it. I guess he was trying to sound seductive, but something didn't ring true in his voice. There was an indistinct quaver, an unsure quality to it. It wasn't the voice of the man in charge just a minute ago. I wondered again why he didn't want to fuck me. I needed to feel his cock in my ass, the reassurance of his love for me and he was refusing. I withered inside.

"Sure, Charley," I replied, "that sounds like a good idea. Waiting will make it really special." I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

He started rubbing against me again. It wasn't the same; the spark had died. Finally, Charley climaxed and rolled off of me. He lay on his back staring at the ceiling. I felt lower than a dog turd. My cock shriveled even though I hadn't come. Sighing, I rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom to clean his cum off my belly. I wet a hand towel and went back to the bedroom. I knelt beside his beautiful body and cleaned up the mess on him from his climax. Even if he wasn't interested in fucking me, I told myself, he, at least, loved me.

He lay watching me. When I finished I balled up the towel and tossed it toward the bathroom door. Charley ran his hand down my thigh. "You didn't get off."

"That's okay. I don't need to."

"Bullshit." He rose up and pushed me down on my back and forced my legs apart as he knelt between them. For a moment I thought he was going to relent, give me what I wanted, needed, but he put his hands on my thighs and bent forward to take my cock in his mouth. It felt good. It always felt good, his tongue rolling around my cock head, but I wasn't getting hard. He fingered my hole and started pushing in. It was dry and it hurt. "Use spit on it," I said, pulling air through me teeth. This was the first time he'd even touched my anus. It was obvious that he didn't know what he was doing.

"Sorry." He pulled his finger out and stuck it in his mouth, wetting it. He tried again and succeeded in going right to my prostate. I moaned and he rubbed it again. I wanted to beg him to fuck me, but I bit my tongue. Between the prostate massage and his determined sucking, I soon released my load. I still hadn't completely hardened.

Charley sat back on his heels caressing my shins. I lay with my eyes closed wishing I'd kept my mouth shut. Tonight was supposed to be a wonderful experience for us to remember while we were apart. My neediness had fucked it up. I was sure we'd both remember it and regret it ever happened.

When he moved to lie down beside me, I rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom closing the door behind me. I stared at my image in the full length mirror on the back of the door. What was it about me that he didn't want? I'd read enough to know that most men didn't give a damn about who had previously had their cock in the hole they were fucking. So was it Charley or me that was the problem? It had to be something about me. My rectum ached with unfulfilled desire.

Disgusted, I wiped the come off my chest and belly, opened the door and looked at him. He'd turned off the lamp and the light from the bathroom fell in a hash glare across the bed illuminating the lower half of his face. He had the sheet pulled up under his arms. His hands lay on his chest. I could see tears glisten in his eyes as he stared at the ceiling.

I flipped off the light and crawled into bed beside him. He didn't move. I lay on my back next to him, not touching, listening to his jagged breathing.

"I'm sorry, Jake," he whispered

"Charley, you didn't do anything to be sorry for. It's me."

He turned on his bedside lamp and rolled on to his side and looked at me. He had tears running down his face.

"Jake, is it really over?" He whispered.

My heart jumped. I swear it stopped beating for a moment. Did he mean that we were over? Not really daring to find out, I had to asked, "Is what really over?"

"You know... the sex..... with Jim." Charley studied the bed sheet. "You're not going to see him again, are you?"

I tried to get my heart to stop racing. "I don't want to ever see him again, Charley. There's only one man in my life and that is you. I won't touch another man and I damned sure won't let anyone but you touch me."

He nodded, crawled off the bed and headed into the bathroom. I listened to him relieve his bladder. I was going to miss that sound.

When he came back into the bedroom he slipped into bed and turned off his bed side lamp. He turned to hug me and I gathered him into my arms. "I'm a one man man, Charley. And you are the one." I murmured in his ear. We clung to each other until I felt him relax and his breathing evened out in sleep. I wondered how much he trusted me. And then I wondered if I trusted myself. I lay awake, holding this precious man as he slept, and I thought about the coming weeks and dreaded them. I didn't want to be away from him at this point in our still developing relationship.

The LED numbers on the clock read 3:30. I had learned it was near impossible to awaken Charley at that hour. I slid out of his warm comforting arms and quietly dressed. I tiptoed out to the kitchen. I wrote a note:

I slunk back into the bedroom and placed it on my pillow. Charley lay on his side facing me. He was my image of what an angel really looks like, strong, virile, beautiful, and filled with the inner strength and conviction to stand up for his beliefs. In his sleep he looked so very innocent. I closed my eyes and envisioned him in his uniform; the fitted gray pants with the calf covering boots, his black leather jacket and helmet, the Ray-ban sun glasses hiding his beautiful eyes. There was nothing innocent about that image.

I could have sworn that in the dim light I saw a tear on the side of his nose, but convinced myself I was imagining it. I also convinced myself, as I slipped back out the bedroom door, that I had imagined that he whispered, "I love you, forever, Jake." I was a coward in the way I left, but I hate good-byes.

I gathered the last few little items I'd left laying around, like my favorite pen and the package of breath mints I'd dropped into the bowl on the coffee table, and stuffed them into my jacket pockets. Nearly four months I had lived in this house and there was nothing to show for it. I imagined Charley waking tomorrow and wondering if I had just been a dream. It left me feeling hollow. Maybe I was just a dream, but who's?

I pushed my Indian two blocks down the street before I started it. I rode to the outskirts of the city and pulled off to the side of the road to clear my eyes. The wind had made them tear so much that I couldn't see where I was going. Hell, who was I fooling; it wasn't the wind in my eyes. I broke down and bawled and yelled at the heavens, condemning my past, praying there still might be a real future with Charley.