I started college that fall. It was a completely new experience for me. There were lots of new people, new teachers, and new subjects. I was thrilled to finally start learning things I wanted to know, not just what was required.

I was the kid that drove the brand new, bright red Ford pickup. Girls were clamoring for dates with me. I found myself being shy and reticent. I guess I had always been kind of that way. But now that I was grown, I was finding it even more difficult to deal with the opposite sex. That was until I met Gina.

Gina was different. She sat next to me in Biology Lab. She was quiet, unobtrusive and intelligent. I sat next to her for three weeks before I really noticed her as another human being. On our first dissection project we were told to pick partners, two to a frog. Tricia, a beautiful, but vacuous, well stack brunette sidled up to me, being real coy.

"You wanna be my partner, Billy?" She cooed, caressing my arm. I immediately had a vision of her trying to slice open the frogs belly and being very squeamish about it. I laughed.

"I don't think so, Girl. Besides Gina's going to be my partner." I turned to her, "Right, Gina?" I asked. She took off her glasses and looked up at me. I guess that was the first time our eyes connected with each other. I think I might have gulped as I fell into her liquid chocolate eyes.

"Sure, Bill, that's right." Her voice was soft, low, soothing. I had the urge to reach out and touch her beautiful blue-black hair. There was no one else in the room but her. I just stood there looking at her until she turned red, ducked her head and put her glasses back on. Tricia flounced off to find some other poor male to do her dissecting for her.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" she asked. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"No, you're beautiful. I've just never really looked at you before."

She studied her book, intent on not looking me in the eyes again.

"I know you haven't," she whispered. "You really don't like girls do you?"

I looked around me to see who had heard her question. Everyone was involved in their own activities. No one had heard. I felt relieved, but I still had to deal with the question.

"Of course I do. Why would you ask that?"

"It's just a feeling I get watching you interact with other girls."

"Oh."

I couldn't think of anything more to say. I sat there feeling like the toad stretched out on the tray in front of us, pinned down and tabulated.

She looked at me as I studiously avoided her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Bill. Forgive me? Please."

How could I not? The most beautiful creature I had ever seen and she was asking my forgiveness. Of course I forgave her.

"Would you have lunch with me?" I asked, still looking at the same page I had been studying for several minutes. Did it even have anything printed on it? I couldn't have told you.

"I'd love to."

At the end of the period we gathered up our books and floated out the door. At least I did. I think the only thing holding me down were my books. We got out to my pickup and I opened the door for her. As I shut it. I heard Tricia's strident voice.

"Just what one would expect of a stupid ranch rat cowboy. He found himself a squaw."

I saw red. I looked at Gina to see if she had heard. The window was up and the door was closed. She looked oblivious to it.

"Jealous 'cause you're not half the woman she is, Girl?" I called to her. She raised her middle finger at me. I laughed.

"Fuck you, Billy. And my name is Tricia."

"Never you, Girl."

When she saw she wasn't going to get under my skin, she shrugged a shoulder and walked away with her hanger-on girlfriend who was a dark skinned Mexican, whose daddy was a wealthy grocery store owner and she drove a new Blue Camero. I suspected that was the only reason that Tricia hung out with her. I got in my pickup and started the engine.

"She's upset you didn't pick her?" Gina asked.

"Forget her," was my only response. "What would you like for lunch?"

"Do you like root beer?"

"A&W?"

"Yes."

"Far out."

We sat side by side at an outside table. With the fall sun warming our backs, we munched our hamburgers and slurped our root beer floats. I think that was the first time I ever felt like a mature young man.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you in class, Bill." Her voice was smooth and soothing.

I ducked my head. After a moment I raised my eyes and looked at her. "It's true, you know. You're the only girl I've ever talked to more than a couple of minutes. Most girls I've met are too clingy, too demanding."

"And guys?"

I shrugged. "Don't know. I only ever had one friend and he moved away several years ago. Most of the people I have ever known and been close to are grownups, like my uncle that raised me, and the Sheriff. He's been my buddy since I was a baby. I never really made any friends in school while I was a kid. Seems my whole life has forever revolved around my life on the ranch."

"You're personal friends with Sheriff Chandler?"

"Yeah, he was my daddy's best friend. As long as I can remember I've called him Uncle."

"Sheriff Chandler has been a friend of my family for many years. You know his wife died back in August. He spent a couple of days with my dad fishing up in Black Canyon right after the funeral."

I stared at the ground feeling guilty that I couldn't have been there to comfort him like he had me when my parents died. But, since Joe had been killed he didn't come around much anymore. Tom had kind of made him unwelcome when he was in that depression over Joe's death. I've really missed my buddy. I figured I'd stop by his office maybe on the way home and let him know I still loved him and missed him coming around the ranch even if Tom didn't.

With the admission to Gina that I didn't particularly care for most girls we began a close friendship. Gina and I became best friends. To the outside world we were seriously dating, but in truth it was just hanging out with each other. Our Freshman and Sophomore years we had several classes together since our curriculums were similar. Gina was studying to become a veterinarian, and I was studying animal and land management.

After school that day, I stopped by the sheriff's office to see my uncle. It had been over a year since he'd last come out to the Ranch. When I stepped into his office he looked up from the paper work on his desk. A fleet of emotions sailed across his face before a happy grin settled on it. He jumped up and rushed around the desk to grab me up in a hug.

"Billy! Billy, my boy. God, I have missed you."

He held me back at arms length and studied me.

"Damn, how you have grown. You're a man now. Come, have a seat and tell me what's been going on in your life."

First, I gave him my condolences on the death of his wife. He smiled and thanked me, and then urged me on with my story. I told him about Tom's depression and how bad it got after he stopped coming out to the ranch. He sat there in front of me studying the floor and nodding. I told him about how I decided that Tom had been depressed long enough and how I got him to come around. He laughed when I described lying on top of Tom and telling him that I loved him. When I finished Uncle John looked up at me. He looked sad even though he smiled.

"So how is Tom holding up?" he asked.

"He's doing fine now. Not depressed any more, but he sure is lonely these days. He takes turns of being very talkative and then not talking hardly at all."

"I guess I should go out and see him," he sighed.

I don't know what made me say it. I suppose that it might have been an image engraved in my memory of him and Tom hugging and kissing each other and me while they both held me in their arms. I must have been three or four then.

"He loves you, Uncle John. I think that he thought he could never really have you 'cause you were married."

The Sheriff leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.

"Well, Billy boy, he could have me all to himself now if he'd just say so."

"Do you think he knows that.... that you're a widower now?"

He studied me.

"I don't know. You want to be the bearer of that news?"

I studied him back wondering what he was thinking behind the mask of stoicism that had settled on his face.

"Sure, Uncle John, I could tell him."

The sheriff changed the subject to my college studies. And soon I was on my way back home to the ranch.

That evening I mentioned to Tom that Eileen Chandler, the sheriff's wife, had died a month or so ago. He stared at his food, pushing it around on his plate. "I know," he mumbled.

"When did you find out?" I was outraged that he hadn't told me.

"The day after the funeral."

I pushed down my aggravation There was no point in being angry with Tom. "You and Uncle John used to be good buddies."

Several moments passed. Tom was still stirring his food.

"Yeah, we used to be," he whispered. "I wish we still were. I miss him."

"Have you thought about apologizing to him?" I asked.

Tom's head jerked up. He stared belligerently at me. "Why should I be the one to do the apologizing. He wouldn't leave me alone. I was just a distraction to him. He was a married man. He just wanted me on the side. And I wasn't about to ask him to leave Eileen."

I studied him for several minutes, thinking he sounded like a little kid. He was still brooding. I realized at that moment that Joe's death was only part of the problem. John was the other part.

"Tom." He glanced up at me. "He loves you."

Tom pushed his chair away from the table and stared out the back door like he'd like to break and run. He let out a long deep sigh.

"If you'd just go say 'hi' to him. Hell, he'd let everything past be gone."

Tom nodded his head once, stood and shook himself. He picked up his hat and grabbed the keys to his pickup off the hook by the door and strode out the back door.

The next morning I got up to find that Tom hadn't returned. I milked the cows and fed all the animals and then got ready for my first class which started at eleven that day. As I was closing the back door he drove up in a cloud of dust. I looked at him while he just sat there in his pickup grinning at me. I walked over to him and he grabbed me around the neck and knocked foreheads with me.

"Thanks, Bill. You are something else, Son. I love you, you know."

I grinned at him feeling kind of foolish.

"I love you, too, Unk."

He opened his door and scrambled out grabbing me in a neck lock. "I'll give you unk," he said, and then kissed me on the cheek. "Ah, hell. You can call me Unk any time you want," he said, letting me go.

I gathered my books and turned to him. I could think of nothing to say so I just grinned, shook my head and headed for my pickup.

"Knowing John, you'll probably run into him sometime today," he called after me.

"I'm glad you went to see him, Tom."

"Me, too, Bill, me, too." Tom yelled and did a little two step dance up to the stoop. I drove away laughing.

Tom was back to being his wonderful ol' lovable bear self. Life on the ranch couldn't have been any better. Uncle John was thinking of retiring now that he was a widower. In all the years I had known him I never knew he had a big spread over by the Arizona border. His wife didn't like the isolation of ranch life and that had been the reason that he had run for County Sheriff. He was a damned good one, but he longed to be out on his ranch.

He and Tom spent a lot of time together after that day. They were like a couple of young kids. If John wasn't spending the night with Tom, then Tom was over at John's. I was happy for them. They're my two favorite people.

The end of my second year of college was coming to a close. There were only three more weeks. I was really looking forward to some time off from my studies. It would be good to just be out on the ranch all day.

One day around noon, Gina and I were lounging on the scraggly lawn in front of the student union. I lay on my side, my elbow propping up my head, Gina was sitting up against me. The late spring day was mild and glorious. We were people watching and daydreaming.

We watched a bus pull into the parking lot and a group of high school kids spill out of it. A short blonde kid stepped off the bus and was immediately lost in the crowd of taller kids. Something about him caught my attention.

The group all gathered around a couple of adults who were talking to them. And then they moved towards us. When they stopped near by to hear the history of something or other, I looked them over. The blonde kid was standing with his back to me. He wasn't very tall, maybe 5'6". The taller kids in the crowd kind of blocked the view. I sat up to get a better look at him. Gina turned to look. "What are you looking at?"

I paid no attention to her question as I got to my feet and scurried around the group to where I could see his face. Then suddenly it dawned on me why he looked familiar. He reminded me of Joe. It was Neil that had just gotten off the bus. He had been a boy, four years younger than me when his grandfather had taken him back to live in Albuquerque. Now he was a young man. Gina watched me, curious as to what I might be up to. Several of the group were also eyeing me as though I had suddenly taken leave of my senses. When I got to a vantage point where I could see his face clearly, I let out a loud whoop and yelled, "Neil!"

I waded through the pack of kids and grabbed him up. Neil didn't know who had attacked him. I'm sure he thought that a mad man had hold of him. I had grown about a foot and a half since he had last seen me and I was now sporting a moustache and at least a hundred more pounds. He was diminutive like his dad, and just as feisty. He struggled and got an arm loose and punched me right in the jaw. I staggered backwards.

"Put me down," he said between clinched teeth.

I dropped him and put my hand to my jaw. He quickly did a one, two, three rabbit punch to my stomach. I doubled over and he chopped the back of my neck. I dropped like a stone.

When I started coming around, I opened my eyes and looked right into his big blue ones. I raised a hand and rubbed my jaw. There was a crowd gathered around us. One of the adults, a teacher, was standing over Neil who was kneeling beside me rubbing the back of my hand that he held in his. Gina was on the other side of me brushing the hair out of my face. Her countenance was clouded with anger.

"His name is Bill Winston," she said staring at Neil, while explaining to the teacher. "He thought this blonde haired maniac was his long lost buddy."

"I am." Neil whispered. His eyes watery with unshed tears. "I'm sorry Billy. I didn't know who or what had grabbed me."

The teacher looked at me. "Are you okay?" she asked. I nodded that I was. She told Neil that he could stay and catch up on his friendship, but to be sure and be at the bus at four o'clock sharp. She turned back to her group of high school kids ushering them along.

"Where did you learn to fight like that?" I asked.

His expression was rueful as he shook his head. "Billy, I'm so sorry. It was total reflex. When you're small like me you have to learn to defend yourself. I didn't recognize you. You're so big and hairy. Last time I saw you, we were almost the same size."

"Yeah, I had a growth spurt after you left."

I stood up and he stepped back looking up at me. "That was one hell of a growth spurt. You are big."

"First you beat me up and now you're making me feel self conscious." I whined at him, teasing like we used to do.

"Get off it, you big lummox, I said I'm sorry."

"Yeah, but did you mean it? That is the question."

"Billy, you know I meant it. I wouldn't do that to my best buddy, now would I?"

When he called me his best buddy my eyes teared up. I had missed him more than I ever realized. I suddenly remembered Gina. I turned, looking for her. She was still standing in the same spot. She looked uncertain as she watched the two of us. I was so excited about running into Neil that I'd forgotten about her.

"Neil, come meet Gina." I dragged him over to her.

"This is him, Gina. Remember I told you about him when we first met. Neil this is Gina. Gina, Neil."

I was grinning like an ass while they shook hands, eyeing each other warily. Gina dusted off her behind and said. "It was nice meeting you, Neil. I'll talk to you later, Bill." She walked over to where we'd been lounging on the grass, picked up her books and turned to leave. I was stunned at her attitude.

"Gina?"

She turned and waved. "You guys have fun getting to know each other again." She disappeared around the corner of the building.

I just stood there with my mouth hanging open.