Familiarity was something that Jesse liked.
He liked being able to recognize what time of day it was based on the amount of cars that would be outside in the parking lot of his apartment building.
He liked knowing that there was always going to be someone at the front desk willing to get him whatever he wanted and when he wanted it so long as he had the right amount of currency.
He liked knowing that he only had to pass four doors before reaching his own room.
And he liked knowing that no matter what had happened since his time spent in rehab, his apartment was going to be exactly the way that he had left it.
Yes familiarity was something that he craved and was something that he needed now more than any other time in his life.
It had been over two months since he first entered rehab and overall he felt like he had finally reached a place in his life that he could accept who he used to be and learn from the mistakes in his past to become a better person. He did, after all, at least have the support of his parents.
All he needed was stability and no surprises.
"Jesse....what a surprise," were the first words Jesse heard come out of Chuck’s mouth upon entering his apartment. "And you’re home earlier than you said you’d be. Like, 9 hours early."
"Yes, well, my parents both had matters they needed to get back to," Jesse said looking around his half decorated apartment.
There were colorful balloons thrown all over the floor. Curly strings hanging from various places as well as streamers. Not to mention the gigantic banner that read ‘happy birthday’ hanging over the bar at the kitchen.
"You are aware my birthday isn’t for another three days correct?" Jesse asked before wondering something else. "And how did you know?"
"Uh, well-"
"That would be my doing."
Jesse knew the sound of his brother’s voice very well. He had to grow up listening to it and he had to unfortunately deal with it when he made surprise visits that he told no one he would be making.
"Nicholas what the hell are you doing here?" Jesse asked, feeling like all the progress he had made was going right out the window with seeing his brother. "Shouldn’t you be pleading ‘not guilty’ to drug charges in Fiji right about now?"
"My younger sibling, always the charmer," Nick said walking over to get a better look at his brother. "You look healthy. Rehab’s served you well."
"Rehab’s served me two months of my life that will unfortunately never be recovered," Jesse replied. "And you’re apparently what I had to look forward to upon release. What a joy."
"Such a skeptic, Jesse," Nick said. "Can’t you just be happy to see me?"
"That’s like asking me would I be happy to wake up with testicular cancer tomorrow," Jesse replied. "Which you are, by the way. A poisonous cancer that most definitely would not be good for me directly after leaving rehab so I need for you to leave."
"What?" Nick asked, surprised.
"You heard me," Jesse said, grabbing Nick from behind and beginning to lead him out of his apartment. "I can’t have you fucking up my life like you almost certainly did last semester. I have to stay focused. I have to be alert, strong."
"And you can’t be those things with me around?" Nick asked as they reached the front door.
"Possibly," Jesse replied. "But the good thing about having my own place is I don’t have to let you stick around to find out. Goodbye."
And with that Jesse slammed the door in his brother’s face and headed back into his living room, Chuck still standing there with a half blown balloon in his hand.
"How could you let that skid-mark into my apartment, Charles?" Jesse asked. "Or anyone for that matter? Do you think I’m paying you for that?"
"He’s your brother," Chuck replied. "That’s what he told me anyway. And he had the accent and everything.
"Oh so if Stewie the evil Family Guy baby were to show up on my doorstep you’d let him in as well?" Jesse asked.
Chuck flashed Jesse a quizzical look.
"Is that a trick question?" he asked.
Jesse sighed and moved past Chuck and into his kitchen.
"I can’t deal with the whirlwind of stress and anxiety that is my older brother," he said, opening his refrigerator and taking out a bottle of water. "I am to maintain an active level of calm and tranquility if I don’t want my progression reverted according to my rehab therapist and I fully intend to take the advice."
"That’s good I think," Chuck said, taking a seat at the bar. "I mean, you’re a cool guy and all but I don’t think calm is ever a word I would use to describe you."
"Yes, well that was the old me," Jesse replied, turning around. "The new me is open to giving any and everyone a chance. So long as they deserve one. And Nicholas most certainly does not."
Jesse took a sip of water before looking around his apartment.
"I’m gonna go for a jog. I’m going need you to get rid of all this birthday disaster you have spread all over the place before I get back," he said.
"You don’t like it?" Chuck asked.
"Would I enjoy it if someone threw up all over my flat?" Jesse asked before heading towards the door. "Oh and if you see my brother again tell him I have a restraining order. That seems to be the only thing that manages to keep him away from breaking and entering."
Jesse figured that best thing for him to do in this situation would be to pretend as thought he hadn’t even seen his brother and that he wouldn’t be lurking somewhere around his school in the last place he had ever wanted to see his brother again.
The last thing he needed was a repeat of the disaster that was his first semester.
* * *
It was usually one or the other between Shawn and Trey that happened to be awake in the morning, usually Trey. But having spent the weekend avoiding each other they now had no choice but to be alone together in the same room like the roommates that they were.
They were both waiting for the other to get up. Trey wanted to pretend to be asleep while Shawn got ready and would wait to get up until he left. Shawn wanted to so the same thing.
Therefore the awkwardness and unpleasantness remained.
Trey’s eyes darted briefly over to Shawn in his bed. He couldn’t really tell whether his eyes were open or not because he looked too fast. But he didn’t want to risk looking again.
He felt guilty. He didn’t like to miss his classes, especially for stupid reasons like this one. But he also didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like this was at all avoidable. He was the one that had kissed Shawn. Granted, Shawn did return the kiss but Shawn wasn’t the one who had initiated it so he didn’t really have as much explaining to do.
Besides, Trey wasn’t even sure what he would be explaining. He wasn’t really sure why he’d kissed Shawn the way he had but it had actually happened. It hadn’t been something he dreamed and it certainly wasn’t something he was going to be able to get out of without a decent explanation.
And he didn’t have one of those; an explanation.
So he just figured he could play the avoidance game for a little while longer. At least until Shawn finally left so that he wouldn’t have to deal with talking to him.
"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!" came the too-loud-for-this-early voice of Dylan as he burst into the room, a big paper bag of McDonald’s in hand. "Although technically there is no bacon. I don’t like the way they non-cook it. Hope you like sausage. Oh wait..."
"Dylan, what the hell dude?" Shawn asked sitting up.
"You should really lock your doors at night," Dylan said. "I learned that the hard way after waking up to a drunken game of let’s draw penises on sleeping peoples faces."
"I sleep naked sometimes you know," Trey replied.
"Well I guess it’s a good thing you don’t sleepwalk too because nobody wants to see all that," Dylan replied, taking a seat on the edge of Trey’s bed.
"Ooh, is that coffee?" Trey asked, taking a cup of coffee from the bag in Dylan’s hands.
"Easy slow riser," Dylan replied. "Coffee yes, scalding hands because you can’t hold your proverbial horses, no. Speaking of, don’t you think you better get a move on? We have class in like thirty."
Trey looked over at Shawn who returned the gaze briefly before looking away. Dylan must have caught on because he was the next to speak.
"Oh I get it, awkward," he said. "So are you two like together now or what? Sierra has all these theories on what your babies would like if you guys went that route."
"Uh..." Shawn mumbled.
"Course, she also thinks she’s campus queen so clearly her direction of focus is lacking," Dylan replied. "If you two get married which one of you two’s best man would I be? And don’t say ring bearer because looking 12 and being 18 are two completely different ages."
"We’re not together Dylan," Shawn said quickly. "We’re not.....no."
Trey didn’t really appreciate how fast the words had come out of Shawn’s mouth but he also realized there wasn’t much he could do about it either without reflecting on the event that had occurred between the two of them. And that was really something he had no interest in really thinking about because he knew that he would only over think it and it would lead to results that he would no doubt find to be unfavorable.
"Oh...okay then, the let’s not talk about it game," Dylan replied, tossing Shawn a McMuffin sandwich. "I know it well. Too well actually."
"Then you also know about the let’s not tell the boyfriend about what happened game too," Shawn replied. "Because he doesn’t know, the boyfriend, and I think I’d like it kinda stay that way."
"Why?" Trey found himself blurting out.
Shawn looked over at Trey.
"What do you mean why, Trey? Why not?" he said. "You kissed me."
"And you kissed me back, remember?" Trey replied.
"I remember," Dylan said before realizing that his input hadn’t really been necessary. "So there’s really that many calories in a McMuffin sandwich huh?"
Dylan got off the bed and wandered over to the window as Shawn tossed his covers off of himself and let his feet hang over the bed as he faced Trey.
"What were you thinking anyway?" Shawn asked. "That you’d kiss me and I’d kiss you and magically we’d be a couple?"
Trey wasn’t sure how to respond to the question mostly because he honestly wasn’t sure if that hadn’t been what he was thinking. Logically he knew that wasn’t the case. He knew that he couldn’t force Shawn to want him when he clearly didn’t anymore. He only had himself to blame for that. And Josh was helping with the dating. He was good. He was supposed to be over it.
But deep down he knew that he wasn’t and it was becoming increasingly apparent to him with each passing day that the feelings that he had deep down were becoming less deep down and more surface present.
Maybe he wanted Shawn more than he thought he did.
"Life doesn’t work according to the Trey Jackson schedule of events," Shawn replied. "Eventually you stop getting everything you want just because you want it when people learn to stop giving it to you. Like I did. I know better now. I can’t play these games with you anymore."
"And I know that," Trey replied. "Believe me...I guess I just felt....I don’t know how I felt or what I was thinking. All I know is that it happened. It happened and we can’t undo it."
Shawn sighed.
"No we can’t," he said simply.
"You know, I’m really not good at keeping secrets," Dylan spoke up. "Once in fifth grade I found out my teacher Ms. Applewhite used to be a man accidently in the bathroom. I told one person. The next day she was gone. My school had her killed."
"They did not," Trey said, getting out of bed.
"Oh you didn’t know my principal," Dylan said. "I think he used to be a professional wrestler in Russia. He broke people in half. It was how I explained all the body braces and casts that year."
Trey and Shawn began getting ready for class, each one only slightly paying attention to Dylan as they did.
"The point is, I don’t know that I can just not tell Collin what happened," Dylan said. "I mean I can try but eventually I know that one way or another he’s gonna pull it out of me. And then I’m gonna be that guy. The guy that tells people things they don’t wanna know. Nobody likes that guy."
"You’re right. So don’t be that guy," Shawn said, putting on a t-shirt. "It’s not keeping something from him if there’s nothing to keep from him. It was a kiss. People kiss all the time. No big deal."
"Really? Because it kind of looked like a big deal to me," Dylan replied. "I mean, there was tongue. It was all very illicit and sloppy. Like French porn."
"Okay," Trey chuckled. "Tell him then."
"What, Trey? No, don’t listen to him, Dylan. Collin is my boyfriend and I don’t want him to know," Shawn said.
"Why not? We’re not magically a couple. Who cares?" Trey asked.
"Uh, I do," Shawn replied. "Listen to me very carefully, the both of you. We are not gonna tell Collin about the kiss and that’s final."
Trey and Dylan exchanged glances.
"And don’t think you could take me because....well, I’m bigger than the both of you," Shawn replied. "I’d win."
"It’s true," Dylan replied. "He eats a lot of McMuffin sandwiches. Do you know how many calories are in those things?"
* * *
Amber didn’t particularly enjoy staring at the inside of a toilet bowel but it had unfortunately been the start to a very unpleasant morning for her.
It wasn’t like it was some sort of sudden occurrence for her either. She had woken up randomly over the past month or so feeling sick to her stomach but it had grown worse in the past few days to now she was actually throwing up.
And that was one thing she hated to do.
After flushing her toilet for the fifth time in as many minutes and wiping her mouth she heard what sounded like someone calling her name outside the bathroom.
The last thing she wanted was company. Not with the way that she was feeling. But realizing that she didn’t want anyone seeing her in the state that she was and that there was nothing she could do about someone being in her room, she pulled herself up.
"Get over it," she told herself, looking into her bathroom mirror. "You can do this."
She took another moment before exiting her bathroom only to notice her fellow sorority sisters Stacy and Heather in her room.
"Hun you’re still here," Stacy spoke. "We have class. Remember?"
"Yeah, I," Amber started walking over to her bed with her back facing her friends. "I just lost track of time. Thinking about some things."
"I guess you heard about Jesse’s hot older brother being in town," Stacy said. "He’s probably the only guy on this entire campus that I know for sure wouldn’t turn gay if we had sex."
"What makes you think he’d have sex with you?" Heather asked, crossing her arms.
"Try the fact that I’m what most guys would consider a ten on the looks scale and then add to it my feminine charm and you have a combination any guy would like," Stacy replied.
"You know what else guys like?" Heather asked. "Not turning gay after you have sex with them."
"Whatever," Stacy mumbled. "Amber, hun you okay? You’re looking a little pasty. When was the last time you tanned?"
Amber continued to avoid having to look directly at her friends as she gathered her things and organized them.
"You know I’ve just been really busy lately. With school and the Pink Panthers-"
"Oh yeah I heard about that little club of yours," Stacy said. "Weren’t you guys building a house at some point? What happened to that?"
"It’s in progress," Amber replied. "Uh, let’s go."
Amber turned around and tried rushing past her friends but stopped when Heather grabbed her shoulder.
"Whoa, Am, you sure you’re okay?" she asked. "You really don’t look good."
"Yeah, have you been throwing up?" Stacy asked. "I would know, I spend a lot of time doing that. Hiding shame and all."
"Is that why you’re so thin?" Heather asked, briefly losing focus.
"No that’s cardio at the rec center hun," Stacy replied. "Endless wine spritzers at Fat Tuesdays on the weekends is the throwing up part. Plus I kinda turn guys gay so..."
"Look, Amber, if you need to skip class we can cover for you, right Stacy?" Heather asked.
"Uh, totally," Stacy replied. "I mean finals aren’t for another couple of weeks so you’re good until then."
"Look, I had some bad shrimp or something last night," Amber said. "I’m fine."
"See," Stacy said. "I told you that you spend way too much time with them and not enough time with your sisters. If bad shrimp is the culprit it’s because you missed out on the steaks the Kappa Sig’s cooked for us last night."
"Just, take it easy today," Heather said.
Amber realized that with the way her life had been going lately, taking things easy was going to be a lot easier said than done.
* * *
Despite having gone for a three mile jog before deciding to spend an extra two hours at the rec center gym, Jesse felt like he had more energy than he had ever had in his life.
Things with his parents couldn’t have been better. He and his father and mother had managed to talk about everything that had ever caused any sort of tension among them. And while they was no way his parents would ever be getting back together, at least they were no longer uncivilized towards the other.
And best of all, they paid attention to him. When they told him that they would be calling him every day for at least the next week or so to make sure that he was well, he really believed that they would. They had already both each called just make sure that he’d returned home safely.
Having his parents finally understand that they were the cause for a lot of issues seemed to somehow make all of those issues go away. As far as he was concerned he could finally just relax and enjoy life. There was no one that he needed to be snide to. There was no one that he needed to belittle. And they was no one he needed to purposely avoid.
Almost no one.
At first Jesse had thought maybe he had the wrong guy when he spotted Nicholas. After all work and heavy lifting weren’t two things he had ever seen his brother do before. But taking a closer look he realized that there he was, lifting a bag of something over his shoulders as he headed towards a wheelbarrow.
Jesse had almost forgotten entirely about the house that the Pink Panther’s were building for charity, mostly because he had been away for almost the entire process but was no getting to see firsthand just how far along things had come with the project.
While it probably still had a little while before it was completely finished, things looked so dramatically different that he wouldn’t be surprised to find the place completely finished by the following week.
What was surprising was how it seemed as though his brother was somehow in charge of the operation that was occurring. With it only being just after noon, he knew that Grace and the others would be too busy with class to see him in action so he definitely wasn’t doing it for attention.
But he knew his brother. He didn’t help people. At least not without motives and strings lurking around somewhere. And whatever reason he had for wanting to help finish building a house for someone that needed it were, Jesse knew that they had to be devious somehow.
Annoyed, Jesse removed his iPod earbuds from his ear and jogged over to where his brother was helping load carpeting into the house.
"Nicholas!" he called out.
Nick looked around before spotting Jesse and smiling.
"Jesse. Come to help the needy, have you?" he said.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, keeping his attention focused on his brother despite all the commotion that was going on all around him.
"What does it look like?" Nick replied before heading inside the house, Jesse following behind. "You can’t have a house without a floor. I’d prefer oak hardwood but this carpet is perfectly acceptable as well."
"You can’t be serious? You’ve never helped anyone in your life," Jesse said, crossing his arms.
"Oh well that’s not true. Remember the time I gave that Russian stripper that wad of cash to get away from her abusive boyfriend."
"Right, the same Russian stripper whom you slept with knowing she had said boyfriend. A lot of good you did there," Jesse replied. "If I recall correctly, the money was to insure that he wouldn’t kick the crap out of you when he was going to find out."
"Yes well be that as it may, a lot about me has changed in the past four and a half months and I’d like to think those changes have all mostly been for good," Nick said, placing the carpet roll in his hands on the ground before heading into the kitchen.
"Like I haven’t ever heard a variation of this exact same speech a dozen times before and each time I have to say is much more polished than the last. I see now you’ve graduated to putting on shows to accompany your lies."
"Think what you will of me Jesse but my days of gallivanting the world without purpose are over. I wouldn’t have been born into the third richest family in the U.K. if there wasn’t a reason for me to be here. And thanks to you and your friends, I’ve finally figured out what that reason is."
Nick walked past Jesse and back outside to retrieve more carpeting. It took Jesse a moment or two to process his brothers words but once he had he rushed outside to continue their conversation.
"Me and my friends?" Jesse asked. "What does that mean?"
"Well," Nick started, picking up another carpet roll. "I realized that I did no one any good by hanging around the last time. I broke girls hearts. Got on your last nerve. Got people thrown in jail and otherwise behaved like a complete tosser with absolutely nothing to show for it."
Jesse followed as Nick started into the house again.
"I went and I found myself. Realized that there was a lot more meaning to life than I assumed. I found things out there, wonderful things that I can’t even begin to describe to you in the detail they deserve to be described in."
"Oh well then congratulations on managing to capture the raw thrill of backpacking your way across the globe without suffering any of the murderous side effects. Happy now?"
"Funny thing happened when I went back to father’s to get more money for charity," Nick started. "There was a letter. About you and your lack of attendance in your courses. It seems when you make a 4.0 one semester and then suddenly disappear the next, people grow concerned. I didn’t know what was going on but I knew you weren’t dead, I’d have heard about it, so I just came down here to help keep you from failing. So far I’d say I’m doing a well enough job so long as you don’t mind your GPA dipping some. I don’t know how you achieved a 4.0 with all the crazy that was going on last I was here."
Jesse wasn’t sure what to make of his brother’s words. They seemed sincere enough but just like he knew his parents he also knew his brother. He highly doubted it would possible for his entire family to change into better people almost simultaneously as they had.
Besides he’d seen this before. After each traumatic event in his brother’s life, which usually amounted to getting arrested or sued for something, he’d get out of it thanks to their father and his money and influence, and then claim that he would be forever changing for the better.
Jesse was just surprised that his brother was still here. His fake acts didn’t usually last this long.
"But I see that you’re back now so no need for me to pretend to be you anymore," Nick said. "Um, you are aware that there are people on this campus that actually would throw a party at your funeral, yes?"
Jesse rubbed his arm.
"Yes well some of us have done some actual changing for the better," he said.
"You might want to show that a bit more," Nick replied. "I recently discovered that car bombs are apparently very easy to build."
"So, what you’re just in town, helping others and throwing pseudo birthday parties for brother’s you’ve been a complete bloody dick to?"
"I’m here because right now this is where I want to be," Nick replied, setting his carpet roll down.
"Yeah," Jesse replied, still not really convinced of anything. "I’ll believe it when I see it."
* * *
Grace and Zoey looked between Trey and Shawn noticing how each one had remained oddly silent during lunch and how each one was acting as though nothing about the way they were acting was at all out of the ordinary.
"It’s like watching one of those old black and white movies with no sound," Grace said.
"What do we say to them?" Zoey asked, watching as Shawn picked up and purposely dropped back into it’s bowl a spoonful of his soup for the tenth time.
She snapped her fingers in front of him, Shawn not even moving.
"You know Dr. Phil went to this school way back when he was young and good looking," Sierra said. "I bet he’d talk to them for free if we mentioned that."
"Girl we better than Dr. Phil," Grace said. "We got this."
"Doesn’t this happen like every other week though?" Sierra asked. "What’s the longest they’ve gone actually talking to each other?"
Grace and Zoey just continued to stare at both guys completely aware of why they were silent but also unaware of how to approach them.
"So, what about them? They already know. Can I tell them?" Dylan asked.
"No," Shawn said, not missing a beat from his soup dropping or even looking up at Dylan.
"Tell us what?" Zoey asked.
"About the kiss girl," Grace replied.
"You know, as long as nobody talks about it, it’ll be like it never even happened," Shawn replied. "We’re all cool with that right? Pretending it never happened?"
"But it did happen and boy was it spicy," Sierra replied.
"You weren’t even there," Zoey pointed out.
"True. Quick, I’ll give you each twenty bucks to do it again right now," Sierra replied.
"Okay everybody who’s horny right now please move to the end of the table," Grace said. "Thank you."
"Shawn’s worried about Collin finding out," Dylan blurted out.
"Dylan!" Shawn exclaimed, putting his spoon down.
"Sorry. I had to tell someone. And Grace was giving me the death stare. I ignored it once and she tried to stuff me in a washing machine. We don’t ignore the death stare," Dylan replied.
"That’s right, boy," Grace said. "And uh, Shawn, you still haven’t told Collin about what happened yet?"
"What’s to tell?" Shawn asked. "Trey kissed me, end of story."
"Try the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t know," Grace replied. "Besides we ain’t stupid. We all saw you kiss him back."
"Technically not me, but Grace paints a great visual," Zoey said.
"It’s instinct. Someone kisses you, you kiss back right?" Shawn said.
"Especially if they’re a good kisser. Like Jesse McCartney," Sierra said.
"Not if you have a boyfriend," Grace replied to Shawn, completely disregarding Sierra. "Which you do. Remember?"
"Don’t you guys think were making a big deal out of this? Really? I mean...I mean....Trey?"
Trey looked up at everyone. Truthfully he hadn’t really even been paying attention to anything that had been going on. His mind was too wrapped up in a thought process that contained a lot of ‘what-if’s’ and scenarios that involved him coming to the conclusion that maybe he had only been ignoring what he already knew. That Shawn was the one he was supposed to be with and not Noah.
Noah being away only made it that much easier for him to see this.
But then there was still Noah, who was away, and would come back hoping that Trey would be a different person. And he liked to think that he was but the fact of the matter was that he wasn’t sure that even if Noah came back today that things would change.
He wondered if he would still even feel as strongly about Noah as he did before. Especially now that he seeing Shawn in his picture of the grand scheme of things.
He was too confused and had no guidance or direction to go in. He felt absolutely lost.
"What?" he asked.
"That boy wasn’t paying any attention to you," Grace said. "Which don’t matter because you need to figure out how you’re gonna tell Collin about you kissing another guy. And yes Shawn, kissing someone back makes you just as guilty as starting the kiss."
"So that’s it? No one has anything to say about Trey kissing me to begin with? What about Noah?" Shawn asked.
"Ooh, yes, what about Noah?" Sierra asked. "He’s coming back soon right? Collin entering the love triangle was interesting but a real life gay love square. I can’t even process it."
"Try not to get too wet over there Jenna J, we’re not here to feed your carnal fantasies," Zoey said. "This is a real problem. Like huge. I mean, if my boyfriend ever kissed another girl and didn’t tell me and I found out about it later...I’d probably go insane."
"More insane than pretending to have a non existent boyfriend?" Sierra asked.
"You know you’re the one everyone likes least in the group right?" Dylan said.
Sierra tried swatting at him but Dylan dodged by jumping back before sticking out his tongue at her.
"I don’t know. Collin already thinks I spend enough time dealing with Trey issues. If I told him-"
"Trey issues?" Trey asked. "I seem to recall you having plenty of those all on your own, Shawn."
"Made worse by the guy that couldn’t make up his fucking mind about what he wanted," Shawn replied.
"Oh, well I’ll make it easy on you. Go fuck yourself," Trey said before storming off and narrowly missing bumping into Amber.
Amber stopped and shook her head to clear her vision before beginning to resume walking over to the table.
"Hey all," she said. "What’s new?"
"Uh, how about the albino new flesh tone you’re sporting there?" Sierra spoke, noticing that Amber didn’t look any better now than she had earlier that morning.
"You okay girl? You look as white as your shoes," Grace said.
"Oh," Amber said, barely managing to accurately sit in the chair behind her. "I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I think maybe I have a stomach flu or something."
"That ain’t contagious is it?" Dylan asked, pulling his backpack across his face.
"I don’t think so," Amber replied.
"You sure that’s all it is?" Sierra asked, eying Amber suspiciously.
"Why wouldn’t it be?" Amber asked.
Sierra crossed her arms. She now had confirmation that something was wrong based on the fact that Amber had yet to call her a fat whore.
"They have soup!" Shawn said, pointing to his now cold bowl of soup.
"No, food is the last thing I wanna..."
Amber stopped. She had been trying to keep back the feeling of throwing up since entering the cafeteria because she wanted to look like she was okay but getting a whiff of Shawn’s soup had her rushing back the way she’d come not more than two minutes ago in route for the nearest bathroom.
"Who get’s drunk like that on a Sunday?" Grace asked, clearly not believing the stomach flu story.
"Uh, I’ll see you guys later," Sierra said, gathering her things and heading out of the cafeteria.
"Abrupt," Zoey said. "But who cares, she’s gone. Although I’m worried about Amber. She looked bad."
"Remember when you used to hate her?" Dylan said.
"Remember we were talking about Shawn telling his boyfriend about the kiss?" Grace spoke up. "Cuz here he comes now."
"What?" Shawn asked, panicking as he rustled around, not really sure what to do with himself. He felt like he looked guilty and considering the fact that he planned to keep a really big secret from his boyfriend he knew that he actually was guilty of something. He didn’t know how to act and clearly had lost control of his unconscious actions.
"Boy, calm down," Grace said through gritted teeth before Collin arrived at the table.
"Hey babe," he said, bending over to kiss Shawn on the forehead.
Everyone watched as Collin took a chair and turned it backwards, sitting as close to Shawn as possible.
"You guys okay or did someone die?" Collin asked.
"My cat, Polly. I accidentally ran her over," Dylan blurted out.
"You don’t have a cat, Dylan," Zoey said.
"I did when I was 16," Dylan replied. "Oh and I also cheated on my SAT’s, found a hundred dollar bill in a church parking lot and kept it and smoked a joint before seeing a 3D movie high at Disneyland."
Everyone stared over at him.
"I’m really bad at keeping secrets," he said in response.
"Okay then," Collin chuckled. "Hey babe did you wanna go see a movie on Wednesday at the Union? They’re showing some kind of documentary or something but before and after it they’re gonna show parts of my friend Paul’s movie. Should be fun."
"Sure. Yes. Absolutely," Shawn replied each word almost simultaneously.
"Are you okay?" Collin asked.
Grace cleared her throat and stared at Shawn.
Shawn feeling guilty wanted to speak up and tell Collin the truth about the kiss but also feeling like a coward decided not to.
"Why wouldn’t I be?" he replied, simply.
"Okay," he replied. "Where’s Trey? Isn’t he normally with you guys for lunch?"
"No!" Shawn blurted out. "I mean, who cares. You don’t like Trey."
"Shawn, I don’t not like Trey," Collin replied, pulling Shawn’s tray over in his direction to eat his cold soup. "I just think you spend and unhealthy amount of time stressing over and dealing with him. Especially if you’re supposed to be friends."
"We’re not! I mean...we don’t have to be. He’s my roommate but I mean, we don’t have to be friends. Not if you don’t want us to be."
"Since when do I control your life?" Collin chuckled. "You can be friends with whoever you wanna be friends with. I’m only concerned with you and me."
"And what about you and me?" Shawn asked. "Did something happen? Are you breaking up with me? Because I would completely understand if you were-"
"Shawn! Boy, calm down," Grace interrupted. "Just relax."
Everyone could easily see how stressed Shawn was and how erratic he was behaving. As much as Grace wanted Shawn to tell Collin about the kiss the last thing she wanted was him being paranoid over his decision not to.
Shawn stared at Grace who seemed to be communicating with her eyes before he took a deep breath and calmed himself a bit.
"Yeah, a movie sounds great. Trey and I...great. Uh, yeah," he replied, not really sure what to say next.
"If you being so erratic didn’t make me fall in love you I’d probably be a little worried about you right now," Collin said before kissing Shawn on the cheek. "Hey so did anyone see bible guy by the quad this morning?"
"Bible guy is back?" Zoey asked, allowing the conversation to move on.
"I love bible guy," Dylan chuckled.
* * *
Amber was feeling a bit of déjà vu as she heard someone calling her name outside her bathroom door.
She had just once again finished throwing up and was feeling absolutely terrible but the last thing she wanted was for anyone to know that about her, so she picked her self up and looked at herself in the mirror. She took out a stick of gum and put in her mouth before exiting a little upset with who happened to be in her room.
"Do you just not look your door, ever? Even after the whole sex on tape thing?" Sierra asked.
"I didn’t have sex on tape bitch," Amber replied. "What do you want?"
"I don’t know why I’m here," Sierra replied. "I think maybe I feel sorry for you."
Amber chuckled before moving past Sierra and over to her closet.
"Am I supposed to be in hell right now? Is that it?" she said.
"What?" Sierra asked.
"I wake up nauseous every morning for the past month but the day it gets worse is the day my worst enemy feels sorry for me," Amber replied. "The only thing that would make this any worse is you being the devil’s daughter. You are, aren’t you?"
Sierra watched as Amber took a light pink jacket out of her closet and put it on, placing her hands in the pockets.
"No, seriously, you looked like you needed help earlier," Sierra said. "Do you? Need help, I mean?"
Amber sat on the edge of her bed, putting on her fuzzy pink feathered house slippers.
"Aw, you volunteering to hold my hair back and run me a bath every time I throw up?" she asked sarcastically. "Newsflash, I hate you."
"And you don’t exactly inspire feelings of warmth and happiness in me either but I’m here anyway, checking on you because for some completely strange reason I actually feel like helping you," Sierra replied.
"Look," Amber said, standing up. "People get sick. It’s a part of life. Eventually you learn to stop asking for hand-holds and just deal with it like an adult. I don’t need you feeling sorry for me."
"Or maybe I can just relate," Sierra said. "To what you’re going through."
"Great so you’ve had the stomach flu before too. Awesome. Next you’re gonna tell me you used to want to be a princess and threw sleepovers when you were little. Like every other little girl on the planet."
Amber walked over to her computer desk and had a seat, starting up her computer.
"No, actually next I was gonna tell you that I thought I might have been pregnant before once too," Sierra said smply.
Amber froze. She didn’t even want to turn around and look at Sierra. Admittedly, that thought had entered her mind several times over the past month. Especially lately with the nausea getting much worse. But she kept pushing back because the more she thought about it the more she might be willing to consider the possibility, buy a pregnancy test, and find out that she was.
And she couldn’t be. She was only 18. She was a freshman in college and already an active in the campus’s most coveted sorority. A baby would ruin everything. Not to mention there was no way she wanted to start wearing mom clothes any time soon.
Sierra had a seat on the edge of Amber’s bed next to her.
"I’m not fucking pregnant, retard," Amber said.
"So you took a pregnancy test and it told you that? I mean, you took a few and they all said the same thing?"
"Do I really want to hear about the eighth time you thought you were pregnant and how you found out you weren’t right now?"
"You go to bed feeling like your stomach is full of warm milk. You actually get up to pee in the middle of the night. You wake up and the first thing you smell makes you think of food which makes you vomit. Since food makes you vomit you think you have a stomach flu. Sound about right?"
Amber tossed her hair over her shoulders.
"Sounds about ten steps past way awkward and twenty past over-share," she said. "This doesn’t have anything to do with me. I have a stomach flu, that’s it."
"I did research, when I thought maybe I was pregnant," Sierra replied. "I’m not really proud to be talking about how much of a whore thinking I’m pregnant makes me feel like but it’s happened to me before. Luckily I wasn’t but that doesn’t mean you aren’t."
"Yes it does because unlike you, I don’t have sex with everyone that tells me my tits look better than a porn stars," Amber replied. "I haven’t had sex in......."
Amber froze. Because she didn’t want to think she was pregnant she didn’t even want to entertain thoughts about the last time she’d had sex. After all, the last person she’d had sex with was a drug addicted, self absorbed British asshole who happened to be in rehab. That didn’t sound like someone’s baby she wanted to be having.
"What?" Sierra asked.
"Nothing," Amber replied. "It’s nothing."
Amber turned around and stood up, Sierra following her lead.
"Look, uh, thanks. I’ll take a pregnancy test or whatever if it makes you happy. I’ll take ten if you want but I already know what the answer’s gonna be. I have Spanish homework so um...yeah," Amber said.
Sierra started towards the door.
"Uh, tell me...after you take it," Sierra replied. "I know we fight pretty much all the time but the last thing I would do is not wanna help you when you need it. I mean, you’re my friend."
As much as Amber didn’t want to admit it she knew that Sierra was right. They bickered all the time like sisters that hated each other but at the end of the day, if she had to make a list of people she would consider to be her best friends, Sierra would definitely be on it.
"Okay," she said, unsure of herself. "I will"
* * *
Trey had wanted to avoid everyone and everything until he could figure out some things about himself. He had hoped it would be as simple as shutting himself inside his dorm room and using his time alone without Shawn to simply think everything about his life over. Only that had only proved to be made more difficult than he assumed it would be once Josh gave him a call to let him know about a couple of guys that would be interested in going on a date with him.
Josh had said he could help and he’d made good on his word. And Trey had decided to that he wanted to get back into the dating game.
But that was all before. Before a lot of things and things were different now. He didn’t think about the hard things because he didn’t want to but now that he had to think about the hard things he realized that he had some difficult decisions to make.
There were guys that were interested in him. Actually interested in him. And then there was Noah. The guy that he’d allowed to be his boyfriend. The only other person he’d ever had sex with besides Shawn. And of course there was Shawn. But Shawn had Collin and Noah ran away.
Still just because things weren’t the way he wanted them to be right now didn’t mean that any of the thoughts and feelings that he had weren’t going to go away. On the contrary it had only made them that much. Stronger. Especially now that he stopped to think about them. Really stopped to think about them.
Who did he want? That was the most difficult thing he needed to sort through.
His thoughts seemed to all scram once the door to their room opened and Shawn entered, a bit surprised to see Trey.
"Is light not your friend anymore?" Shawn asked turning on the light in their room.
Trey hadn’t even realized that it was dark outside. He had been doing too much thinking to notice things like how dark or late it was. And it was late. After 10pm late.
Trey watched as Shawn took off his jacket and walked over to his computer, moving the mouse to interrupt the screensaver and check his AIM away messages.
Trey knew that he needed to start talking but he wasn’t really sure where to start. So he decided to try doing something that he was pretty sure he never usually did.
"I’m sorry," he said. "For arguing with you, being rude. I’m sorry."
Shawn hadn’t been expecting any of this at all and turned so that he was facing Trey.
"Okay," he said simply. He was still in too great a state of shock over hearing Trey actually apologize for once to know how to respond to it.
"Collin isn’t a bad guy at all," Trey replied. "He’s been good for you. I think you’re more secure with yourself. Like the guy you probably were before you met me."
Shawn still didn’t know what to say so he said nothing.
"And I don’t hate Collin. I just hate that he’s with you," Trey continued. "I kept telling myself for so long that they way you treated me and the way I treated you couldn’t be worth anything other then us just being enemies. I felt like because things with Noah were so safe that he had to be who was right for me. But now I’m not so sure anymore."
"What are you saying?" Shawn asked.
"That’s just it, I don’t know," Trey replied. "I don’t know what I want. I never do. That’s my biggest problem. I don’t know how to make up my mind or how to act like I care about what that does to people and because of that, this entire school year has gone a lot worse than it should have."
Shawn continued to listen.
"I mean, think about how many problems we could’ve avoided if I knew how to stop thinking about everything and just live."
"Trey, it’s not like that’s a bad thing," Shawn spoke. "I mean, you have great friends. You have fun. You get great grades."
"I almost lost all those friends more than once this year. I get beat up by ex boyfriends and disowned by my mom and I get good grades because the school will kick me out of I don’t, also thanks to me over thinking things. The fact is, I’m responsible for every bad thing that’s happened to me this year whether directly or indirectly."
The fact that Trey was even able to deduce this about himself meant that he had come along way from the person he was even just a week ago. He was growing more into the adult that he was. And he hoped that would eliminate a lot of the silly and dangerous drama that had occurred over the past year.
If he could now only resolve his relationship issues.
"Collin is good for me, you’re right," Shawn replied. "But is it bad that I wonder if there’s someone out there that’s better? That’s more right for me?"
"I used to think like that when I was with Noah," Trey replied. "But I didn’t acknowledge it. I just didn’t want things to change. I was afraid of change."
"And now?" Shawn asked.
"Now....now you have to ask yourself, if you and I could be together right now, would you want that?" Trey asked.
It was something he had been thinking but was now confident enough in himself to ask it out loud. He couldn’t keep including Noah in the picture. Noah was gone. And regardless of whether or not the month he said he’d be gone was about to be over, the fact of the matter was that he couldn’t include someone who had broken up with him in how he now wanted to live his life.
He needed to think about the here and Noah and Noah was not here and now.
"But Collin-"
"Is good for you," Trey replied. "You should tell him about the kiss. There shouldn’t be any secrets between you. You should deal with that."
Shawn knew that Trey was right. It just frustrated him. It also frustrated him that Trey had asked him what he had and then completely yanked away from him. Or rather completely tossed the ball his way. Because now it was up to him. He could be with Trey if he wanted to. The timing had always been wrong just like it seemed to be wrong now.
But if he really wanted to be with Trey, that wouldn’t matter. And finally it was up to him to decide if that was really what he wanted.
This wasn’t a decision that he could make lightly. He needed to think about it. And like Trey said, he needed to talk to his boyfriend. He didn’t want to do anything to sabotage their relationship even if the idea for sabotage was something that had popped into his head.
He needed to find out for himself who was better. Trey or Collin.
* * *
Jesse hadn’t been expecting his brother to actually leave him alone when he asked him to. He only had the evidence of the past to go on but it had been three days and his brother had stayed away as asked.
He was beginning to feel lonely. The only people that knew he was back in town were his brother and Charles. Sooner or later he knew that he was going to have to go to class. Especially if he wanted to stand a chance at passing his finals.
He just felt like he wasn’t ready. All the talk about becoming a different person was nice to think about but at the end of the day, that’s all it was. Actually showing the world that he’d changed was what had him so nervous.
What if no one believed he’d changed? Or what if they didn’t like the changes and he found out once and for all that everyone really only did like him for his money? He didn’t want to face those things.
"One more day," he mumbled as he sat at his dining table eating pancakes.
"One more day what?" Chuck asked, placing a new cup of tea on the table for Jesse.
Jesse, who had completely forgotten that he was even here, looked over at him as took a seat at the table.
"Today’s your birthday right?" Chuck asked. "Don’t you wanna celebrate with all your friends?"
"What I want is to make sense out of life," Jesse replied. "What’s the world like when you aren’t showing it how tough and mean you can be?"
"So," Chuck started. "The big bad Jesse Yorkshire is actually afraid to tell anyone he’s back. Is that the real reason why you wouldn’t let your brother throw you a birthday party?"
"Contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually enjoy parties half as much as people think I do," Jesse replied. "Besides, why would I want to celebrate turning 19 when I don’t have much of anything to show for it?"
"What do you mean?" Chuck asked.
"Just look at the way I’ve treated people my entire life and especially the past year. Regardless of whether or not I actually am better than someone doesn’t mean that I have to treat them like they aren’t but I do anyway because it’s all I know," Jesse replied. "Who celebrates the fact that someone like that is still alive?"
"You do good things too," Chuck replied. "Like letting Chad stay here when he didn’t know who he was. Or hiring me. That was probably a highlight there cuz you know, well I’m an awesome housekeeper."
"That you are Charles," Jesse replied. "And if you were having a birthday party I would absolutely want to come to that. Because fundamentally inside and out, you are a good person. The world needs more people like you."
"Thanks, Jesse," Chuck replied. "You know you just complimented me. Good people compliment other people. See, you have changed after all. It can be done. If you can do it, anyone can."
"Oh no, not anyone," Jesse objected. "We mustn’t forget about my future worlds most wanted felon of an older brother. He thinks he changed by helping poor people and doing kajukenbo but honestly it’s all just a scam."
"So you say you’ve changed, you prove it but you don’t want people to give you the benefit of the doubt," Chuck says. "Exactly like your brother."
"No I.....Nicholas has been an awful person. To me, to everyone around him."
"Honestly, so have you," Chuck replied. "He came back here because he didn’t want you to fail your classes when he thought you were in trouble. It’s your birthday and he wanted to throw you a party. What exactly does he have to do to show you that he’s not exactly thinking about himself anymore?"
When Jesse thought about it did seem as though his and his brother’s situations were oddly similar. And while he didn’t want to give Nicholas the benefit of the doubt the truth of the matter was that if he wanted anyway to give him the benefit of the doubt he was going to have to stop being a hypocrite and do the same.
At the very least Nicholas deserved the chance to prove that his act was an act and that he’d screw up again, even if that wasn’t going to happen.
"You should let him throw the party," Chuck said. "Doesn’t have to be big or anything like the Secret Sexy Party last week."
"Wait a minute, what Secret Sexy Party?" Jesse asked, suspiciously.
* * *
"Why are we going shopping when I should be waiting for decisions, Grace?" Trey asked as Grace pulled into a parking spot at the mall.
"Because boy, Jesse having a birthday party tonight and we gotta buy gifts," she said, turning off the engine.
"Jesse’s back?" Trey asked. "Since when?"
"Monday apparently," Grace replied.
"Jesse’s been back since Monday and no one knows about it? Wait, how do you know?" Zoey asked, getting out of the car.
"I know because Nick told me. He’s the one that told me about Jesse’s birthday party, the one he’s throwing him tonight. The same one some fine ass celebrities gon be at. We gotta buy new outfits too."
"Wow, I did not expect Jesse to be back and not tell anyone," Trey said.
"Yeah well he is," Grace said as she Zoey and Trey headed inside the mall. "And what kind of decisions is yo ass supposed to be waiting on?"
Trey opened the mall entrance door for Zoey and Grace and followed behind them.
"I let it be Shawn’s turn to decide," Trey said. "All of it, it’s up to him."
"You told Shawn what exactly?" Grace asked.
"That if he wanted we could be together," Trey replied.
Grace slapped Trey’s shoulder.
"Grace! What the hell!"
"You told that boy the thing he’s been wanting to hear from you all year AFTER you get dumped and he finds a boyfriend?" Grace asked.
"Okay so the timing is a little off-"
"A little? Boy the only thing that would made this any worse would be if Noah was around, which you should just be grateful his ass ain’t cuz you got a problem on your hands."
"No I don’t. I passed the buck, remember?"
"No what you did is guarantee disaster," Grace replied. "You saw how Shawn acted when we told him he should tell Collin about the kiss. You really think he’s gonna break up with him to be with you?"
"I don’t have to worry about that because it’s up to Shawn now," Trey replied. "That’s kinda the point."
"And did you like it when Noah and Shawn were fighting over you and you had to make that choice?" Grace asked.
Truthfully not at first. He was overwhelmed that anyone at all let alone two hot guys liked him. But the longer it went on the more he started feeling less guilty about stringing Shawn and Noah along.
Of course that didn’t end well any way he looked at it.
"Well it’s okay, Grace because if he doesn’t want to go there we don’t have to," Trey replied. "I’m okay with that now."
"Are you?" Grace asked. "You’re telling me that if you could never be with Shawn you would be perfectly okay with that?"
Trey, not really wanting to answer the question directly or look at Grace for fear she would correctly identify his response as a lie, looked over a pair of Nike’s on a display in a Footlocker window they had stopped at.
"Yes," he replied. "I would."
Grace not really wanting to get into an argument about the matter decided to let it go.
"Fine," she replied not happy to be giving up. "Present shopping time."
"Yeah about that," Zoey said. "What exactly do you get a guy from a mall that can buy everything in it three times over?"
"Good question," Grace replied as they all continued walking.
* * *
Amber took in a deep breath, staring at herself in the mirror. Tonight she was going to be happy. Tonight she was going to forget about all the nausea and everything else and just be happy.
Jesse was back and drug free. And it was his birthday.
The last thing she wanted to do was dwell on any unpleasantness.
"You’re not throwing up again are you?" Sierra called from outside the bathroom.
Amber looked down before shaking her worries away and exiting.
"Somebody aims to please," Sierra spoke.
"What no whore jokes?" Amber asked.
"Well considering the fact that you’re pregnant, that’s kind of a given," Sierra replied.
Amber raised her eyebrows.
"Shh, not so loud," Amber replied. "You’re the only one who knows and I don’t want anyone here to find out about it."
"Understandable," Sierra replied. "And baby makes two kinda puts a damper on your future sex and party life. Speaking of, we have one to get to."
"Yes we do," Amber replied.
"You figure out when you’re gonna tell him?" Sierra asked.
Amber had hoped for never. It was too late to do anything about the baby so people would eventually know. Everyone would know. Including him.
"No," she replied. "Hopefully though he’s not the same guy. I don’t know if I could handle it if he was."
"Yeah, I’m pretty sure jackasses never change their spots," Sierra replied. "Your baby is gonna be part glamazon, part playground bully. Congratulations."
"Shut up," Amber said playfully shoving Sierra towards the door. "Let’s just go see how he looks first."
* * *
"Come in," Shawn said looking at himself in the mirror.
"Hey," Collin said before examining Shawn and noticing something. "Whoa. You think maybe you’re just a tad overdressed for a movie?"
"I’m not going to that," Shawn replied.
"What?" Collin asked, half not wanting to take Shawn seriously.
Shawn turned around.
"Collin, I have to tell you something. It’s really important, possibly catastrophic but I’m pretty sure you won’t wanna go anywhere with me after I tell you," Shawn replied.
Collin took a seat on Trey’s bed.
"Does it have anything to do with your roommate?" he asked.
Shawn sighed. He almost didn’t know where to begin. He wasn’t quite sure how to explain the fact that he’d kissed the last guy Collin would probably ever be okay with him kissing. But he knew that he had to do it and get it out of the way or else risk ruining things forever.
"Look, the last thing that I ever wanted to do was screw things up with you," he started. "I felt like as long as didn’t think about my other problems or my feelings, I would be okay. It’s probably why when Trey kissed me at the party last week, I kissed him back. Because on some kind of subconscious level it was the exact moment to sabotage my relationship that I had been expecting was going to happen. And it did."
"Wait, Trey kissed you and you kissed him back? At a party?" Collin asked.
"I feel bad about it," Shawn replied. "I feel bad about not telling you but I knew that I had to because-"
"You felt guilty? Because your friends told you to?" Collin asked. "You don’t kiss someone and hide it from your boyfriend unless there’s a reason, Shawn."
"I know, and I told you, I was-"
"Let’s just call bullshit for what it is and stop dancing around this issue of you being in love with your roommate for just a moment-"
"What, I-"
"And focus on us, for just two seconds," Collin said, doing his best to remain as calm as he possibly could.
Shawn felt even worse now because Collin had accurately deduced that he was pussyfooting the matter to avoid talking about the real issue. Of course, Collin was a psychology major and a pretty good one at that so he should have known better.
"When I first met you you were having issues about Trey. Our conversations up until we started dating revolved around Trey," Collin said. "You can’t stop thinking about him long enough to see the world outside your window. It’s like a poison for our relationship and you kissing Trey is the proof."
"Look, Collin, I’m sorry that I kissed Trey back but-"
"Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that if Trey came back right now and kissed you like he did at the party that you wouldn’t do the same thing again?"
And that was just it. Shawn knew that he couldn’t. The fact that he wasn’t sure that he could be trusted not to kiss Trey again bothered him but he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
"I need some time," Collin said standing up. "I have a lot of things I need to think about."
"Are we breaking up?" Shawn asked.
"That’s up to you," Collin replied. "I’m willing to stick around but only if I feel like there’s a reason to. You think there’s a reason to?"
Shawn couldn’t reply. He didn’t know what he was feeling at the moment. It was just too confusing to him.
"Didn’t think so," Collin replied.
Shawn watched Collin open the door as if ready to leave and then stop briefly like he was going to speak but deciding against it and just leaving him alone with his thoughts and an unwrapped birthday present.
* * *
Jesse rarely felt nervous about anything but standing waiting for the people he considered to be his friends to show up was doing the trick.
Sure there were people already at the party. People his brother knew. People that Charles knew. But none of them were his friends.
He had this feeling that none of them would show. That they would remember the drugs and the berating and the all around jackass that he was the last time they saw him and realize that they didn’t care to celebrate his birthday party.
Rather, that was what he was expecting. He was nervous because he was hoping it not to be the case.
"You know you could try looking just a bit less like you’d rather be anywhere else but this wonderfully brilliant party your older brother has thrown for you," Nick spoke, placing an arm around Jesse’s shoulder. "You’ve read the Harry Potter books, yes?"
"Why?" Jesse asked.
"Somehow those pre pubescent teenagers from the films got an invite," Nick replied. "I said invite only, they mooch off of the Olsen twins, so lovely of them. Is MySpace no longer sacred?"
"I believe Facebook is the new standard," Jesse replied.
"You’re nervous aren’t you?" Nick asked.
"What if they don’t show up? Then what?"
"Then you can always befriend Harry and the gang. Although I believe you have a couple of years to wait before you can legally shag the female. They have age limits like that here. Last thing you want is a baby on your hands-"
"Why are we talking about babies and Harry Potter when my friends are sitting at a Taco Bell drive thru laughing about how they’re glad they didn’t have to come to my party?"
"The party you didn’t even want to begin with, remember that?"
"Yes well you have Charles to thank for me coming to my senses. I do love a tasteful party. Nothing like any Secret Sexy parties."
"Secret Sexy what-oh-look, were almost out of wine," Nick spoke before hurriedly rushing away to the kitchen.
Jesse grabbed a glass of wine off of one of the caterer’s trays and took it down in one long swig before looking over at the clock. He needed to relax. Why would he expect any of them to attend after the way he treated them all? Was them not visiting him in rehab a clear indication that they wanted nothing to do with him anymore?
He sat on his couch next to a celebrity that looked vaguely familiar to him but since he didn’t watch bad movies he didn’t entire recognize.
The school year would be over in a little over two weeks. If they had decided they wanted nothing more to do with him he figured he could handle that. He could always find new friends for the fall. At least that way he could start off on the right foot.
No disappointment for his future.
"Why is he sitting on the couch like that?" Dylan asked.
"Maybe the rehab drugs are still in his system," Sierra said before bending over so that she could wave a hand in front of Jesse’s face. "Do you remember us? We’re your people."
"My people!" Jesse said standing up before realizing that they were all here and then some. "You came. To my birthday party!"
"Uh, duh boy," Grace replied. "Oh and we broke ass college students so you got one gift from me Zoey and Trey combined. It’s on the table with all the rest."
Jesse was so excited to see everyone that he grabbed whoever happened to be closest and hugged them.
"Whoa whoa dude," Ben said. "No homo."
"I remember that much," Jesse replied.
"So how you feeling?" Grace asked.
"Honestly, like I need a couple aspirin," Jesse replied.
Everyone stared at him disapprovingly.
"Kidding," he replied with a smile. "You know, you should definitely hear all about my great escape from rehab into the dark depths of city dwelling."
"You escaped from rehab and didn’t think to come visit?" Grace asked as Jesse began leading everyone to a quieter section of the apartment to talk.
"Uh Trey," Shawn said, gently grabbing Trey’s arm. "Do you have a second?"
Trey looked back and noted that no one seemed to notice that they weren’t with the group before looking back at Shawn.
"Let me guess, you told Collin," he said.
"How did you know?" Shawn asked.
"Well he’s not here right?" Trey asked.
Shawn wasn’t sure what he was going to say or how he was going to say it really. It was probably the reason why he took so long to say anything at all.
"He was right you know," he finally spoke. "I don’t know what I want."
"I’ve heard that before remember?" Trey asked.
"Maybe that’s our problem," Shawn said. "We don’t really know what we want so that’s where all the drama comes from."
"Maybe," Trey replied.
"So," Shawn started. "You think maybe you wanna figure it out....together?"
"What?" Trey asked, seeming shocked.
"I don’t know. I guess...I guess I’m saying-"
"Oh my god. I don’t believe it!" Trey said, rushing past Shawn and over to Jesse’s front door. "Noah!"
"What?" Shawn asked, turning around.
Trey rushed up to Noah and threw his arms around his neck, hugging him so tightly that Noah was actually a little uncomfortable.
"You know, the fact that you can actually hug me means I’m really here," Noah replied. "You can let go now."
"Oh, right, sorry," Trey replied.
"Well," Nick said, appearing beside Trey. "Is there ever going to be a party where something surprising DOESN’T happen?"