Saturday, June 24th

I tried practicing at #5 yesterday, but was distracted by that butt plug. Even if that was the reason for my even pretending to practice. As in: "Geez, I wonder how it would be if I tried playing a few rounds like this?" BOING! (But until actually arriving at #5, it was only a mild stirring.) I wore my official APPNA shirt neatly tucked in and some nice jeans. And underneath my jeans I was wearing my jock strap. Backwards. Tallis assured me that the "little" one wasn't likely to slip out, but I was taking no chances. It was only three inches long, but the diameter was adult sized and then some. So even if I was getting used to it, I still felt it. I felt like I was stretched wide open.

And then Adam showed up, and not long after that, I decided to give up practicing. I told him I just had my mind on something else is all, and I was about to head back to my mom's, but he said he wasn't all that interested in practicing either. He'd thought he was, but he wasn't. So before I left, did I want to go burn one?

We ended up burning two. It looks like I'm about to become an addict. But inhibitions were lowered. And in Adam's case, it just killed the FUCK out of them. But then you know what I'm really addicted to, right?

In a way, without meaning to, I started the ball rolling when I decided to take off my shirt after we got into the woods. It's just a small patch, but secluded and well out of sight from any nearby business establishments. And I took off my shirt because it's white and I didn't want to get it dirty. That's perfectly logical. And besides, it was hot yesterday.

So after a few tokes Adam decided he'd take off his shirt for the same reason. He even said as much. And it felt nice, he allowed. He's started growing some fuzz in his armpits. Just barely.

Then, right when I was in the middle of a toke, he started pulling his tan casual slacks off! And he DID, too. So my eyes bugged out and I started coughing.

"Sorry if I startled you, but these get dirty awfully easy as well. ... How you like my new boxers?" he said brightly.

"Damn, Adam" I wheezed, then I allowed, "They look pretty cool." And they did. Red with white rain drop-looking things all over. And fairly short too. Those ones that come down to your knees I don't much care for. His bikini briefs would have been better (a thong better still), but they did look cool. And sort of sexy. Well, I guess so. Adam Kemme was sitting out in the woods with me in his boxer shorts!

Misinterpreting my stunned look somewhat, he added, "I'm making up for how I was last year?"

I shrugged wryly. "Um, well, I'm making for last year too, I guess. I'M being modest." (But you can understand why I'm opting for keeping my pants on at this point, yes? Of course you can. There was no WAY...)

"Modest. Yeah, I guess I can relate to that. I was modest last year, wasn't I? Speaking of which ... well, in Colorado Springs? So I was just wondering, but whose idea was it to steal my pajama bottoms anyway? It was probably Matthew's, wasn't it?"

Well at least he didn't sound mad about it. So I `fessed up. Yeah, it was Matthew all right. And Austin. I sort of went along with it, but I tried to talk them out of it. Really, I DID! Which is the truth, if you will recall. Although of course I left out how I'd felt about all that.

And he took it very well. Or at least he seemed to, but then Michael Corleone seemed to take Carlo's admission of guilt fairly well in The Godfather, too. But still, I think I can rest easy, because Adam went on to make some very UN-Godfather-like comments. Such as admitting he was weird last summer. But it was his mom's fault. That and puberty. He wasn't ready for it last summer, that's all. And then he wandered off into another subject. Sort of. Getting wasted and losing your inhibitions has it's advantages.

Right out of nowhere he went, "You know I'm an illegitimate child?"

No I didn't I said, but then it hardly mattered to me one way or the other.

Only he wasn't finished yet. "Know what my mom used to do when I was six?" See? We're just wandering all OVER the damn place here.

"No. What?" I wondered.

"She used to go around the house naked."

Which produced another coughing spell, interrupted by Adam going, "Well, she DID," and "I'm not making this up" and possibly something else, but finally I managed, "So was she good looking?" (I've never actually seen his mother.)

At which point he somewhat icily replied, "She's my mom."

"Well, I don't want to see my mom naked either. But what was she, a nudist or something?"

"My mom?"

"Yeah."

"No, I think she just wanted me to be comfortable with the idea of sexual differences. I'm pretty sure that was it. ... But it had the opposite effect I think. I could sense she wasn't comfortable without her clothes on, know what I mean? Like she was forcing it. And her pubic hair scared me... Shit, I was only six you know. ... Hey, you want to smoke another?"

"NOW? Damn Adam... Well, it's your bag."

"Yes. That IS an important consideration I suppose. ... So let's do it then."

And then things started getting weird. Starting with me noticing that the head of his penis was poking out of the left leg of his boxers while he was busily rolling up a small cigar. Of course I didn't want to let on; you should know that by now; but I just had to steal more than one glance. (And you should know that TOO.) So was it my imagination, or was he getting slightly stiff? No, it wasn't my imagination, I could see his pink glans slow-ly peeking out, slow-ly his penis was lengthening and ever so slowly it was starting to tilt upwards. (!!!) Oh my god. This is not happening. It can't be. I'm hallucinating again. Yeah, well if I am, I sure would like to do a little more of it. But under the circumstances, it might be better if I was by myself. Oh, I hadn't forgotten about that plug up my ass, not at all! If not for that, I would have been sitting out there in my jockey shorts just like Adam, but... damn it! I HATE having to be modest.

Adam interrupted my wildly boomeranging thoughts with "Does this shit make you horny? ... It sure does me" and then he discreetly adjusted himself. So IT disappeared. Although it was still creating a noticeable bulge. And by then I was getting a bit tumescent myself, even if it wasn't as obvious what with my jeans and all.

"Yeah, I've noticed that myself," I allowed.

"Noticed what?"

"Noticed that it makes me sort of horny sometimes" I said defensively. Then I quickly added, "Which is pretty cool, you know?"

"Depends on where you are when it happens," replied Adam with a somewhat nervous giggle. And I was thinking, "Well, you're the one sitting out here in your undies, I mean, damn!" but he continued musingly, "But it really has a lot to do with adolescence, I think."

"Yeah, I think I've caught that myself" I said.

"But the thing is.." he rushed on (and all at once my gaydar went off because there was that certain SOMETHING in his voice, but circumstances being what they were, I was also thinking, "Where exactly is this GOING, anyway?") "But the thing is, almost ANYTHING can... get you horny, like if it's something you don't normally do," (like sitting out in the woods in your boxer shorts) "like... well, like even casual nudity, you know?" (Oh. THAT'S where this was going. And at that very instant I bitterly promised myself I was never going to show up at the course again with a goddamn butt plug stuck up my ass. NEVER!) "If it's something you don't normally do, it can get you horny," he finished. (In case you lost track.)

Because as it turned out, he wasn't finished after all. No. "So when did you all at once get so modest anyway?"

"Um, I didn't wear my undies today," I stammered.

"Yes, you did. What? You forget you had them on or something?"

I looked down. And the waist band of my jock was showing. "Well, actually I'm wearing a jock strap. ... But that's all."

"Oh," said Adam. And he seemed a bit disappointed. Really, I could tell. And he pondered. Which means that he might not have given up on this. And he hadn't. "You know that school I went to? It's all boys. And sometimes if you didn't know any better, you would have thought everybody there was gay or something. Really! But it wasn't that way at all, it's just that... well, you know what I mean, it's just being the age we are, most everybody there is going to end up normal as hell... but a jock strap's not so bad, and I sort of put myself out on a limb here, so... well, it's SORT of weird I guess, but..."

Oh, the thoughts that ricocheted through my head at about a million miles an hour at that point. Some of which were: "HE was out on a limb? Well, I guess he was. Although if he hadn't said so, maybe he wouldn't be. But he was. And almost every kid at #5 last year would have just LEFT his ass out there. And told everybody else about it. Depending on what mood I was in, I might have done it myself. Like right after we were playing dollar nassau and he shot a damn 10-12 22, for instance. But most of the time, I wouldn't have. Not me. Only now I had a problem. And while I was willing to go out on a limb a little ways... I mean after all, I knew all about that... oh shit. How am I going to get out of this without screwing things up?" Thoughts like that. Just bouncing around inside my head. But finally I managed, "Well, actually I've got it on backwards right now." (Oh, that was a GOOD one!)

"Backwards? How did you manage THAT?"

So now he was out on a limb and I was out on another. REALLY good move. "Well see... well, the thing is..." (Think, Wesley, THINK! You can still do it..) "The thing is, I've sort of got diarrhea, okay?" (That just might work!) So you know how it is, right? So I stuffed some tissue paper in the pouch and that's why I've got it on like that, okay? Just in case, that's all."

"Oh. ... Well, that almost makes sense. If I think about it long enough, I guess it does. But that being the case... well, you want to try something? It doesn't mean we're gay or anything, but we did this at school and it was sort of a trip... you ever THOUGHT off?"

Weird, ain't it? Chapter eight: "The Rabbit Salad Sandwich." Now that is weird! "Almost" I allowed.

"So I'm going to take that as a definite yes, then. And here I go out a little further on the limb, okay?" and with that, without giving himself any more time to think about it, ZIP, he pulled his boxers down to his ankles. (!!) Then he added quickly, "And I trust you've got a boner too." (I just never get tired of looking at that thing. Never.)

Exaggerating only slightly I said, "Shit. I can get a boner going over a speed bump. Yeah, I got one all right," and shortly afterwards there I was with just my jock strap on. Backwards. I'd looked at myself in the mirror when I'd first put it on and I really liked the effect, and I still did.

"Interesting" said Adam.

"Yeah, I guess. So now what? How do we go about thinking off?"

"Well okay," said Adam, "What's the weirdest thing you've ever done?"

"Oh. We're going to trade horny stories. That might work. But first, why don't you fire up that cigar you just rolled up?"

"Oh yeah" he giggled. "I forgot about it." So he fired it up and after a couple of passes he repeated, "Now. One more time. What's the weirdest thing you've ever done?"

"Well, I think you should go first because it was your idea. So what's the weirdest thing YOU'VE ever done?"

"Well, one time I was rummaging around the kitchen, at my mom's? And I came across this can of ready-mixed chocolate icing... and I fucked it."

I managed, "Excuse me?"

"I fucked it."

Snigger attack. Pretty big one. But after a little bit, "Well, was it a good one?"

"I thought so. But it was messy. Very MUCH so. If my mom had walked in on me, she would've had a heart attack. I almost had one anyway. Chocolate icing was EVERYWHERE!... Now. Your turn."

"I fucked a hole in the ground," I blurted. Although really, it was a sandpile. I dug a hole in it, wet it down and went to it. But I wouldn't suggest trying that yourself, because it wasn't good. Unless you like fucking sandpaper. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. Which is pretty much what I told Adam.

"Was it bleeding?" he wondered.

"No, but I didn't feel like messing with it for a couple of days. But you say chocolate icing works pretty good?"

"Yeah. Except for the mess. I had icing from my navel down to my knees. Even had some on my socks! That's all I had on, just my socks. And you know what? I couldn't even SEE my dick. Or my balls for that matter. Just a big glob of icing. That's it! It was fucking awful! ...But I don't know if this is going to work. Thinking off, I mean. But still... tell me another weird thing you've done."

"I think it's your turn" I said.

"Oh. Well... well, okay. You ever heard of spanking games?"

And that just about did it. Right then! And it's ALSO in the hard to believe category, because it just so happens that my second cum Tuesday night with Tallis came as a result of... you guessed it, a spanking game. Shit, after I finally came that first time when he kept taking me right up to the edge and then pulling back I was thinking I wouldn't be able to do it again for at least a day, then he mentioned spanking and whoa! There it went again. Almost an instant hard-on. How Tallis came up with that I don't know, but it was a trip! He was spanking my ass hard! But with his hand. I was laying across his lap and our dicks were tied together with a shoelace. You ought to try that some time. And even though he came when I came, I still spanked his ass good anyway. My arm was getting tired before I finished. But Tallis said he just about came again when I was spanking him. Well me too, but after a bit of rest and fondling, he sat on my pole, and soon enough, we both did. It seems like I have a deep reservoir. And now Adam was mentioning it, and if you've got to deal with it anyway, why NOT make it a game?

But anyway, we exchanged various stories. His about how they played this game at school where the loser would get spanked bare-ass. And how it was a trip. Then he wondered if they used corporal punishment at that academy I went to. And I said, oh yes, they did. Big time. And then I started making up shit about how we had to strip naked and while I was at it, I think we just kept getting hornier and hornier. Only no think-offs. Adam said he guessed we were getting too jaded for our own good.

And no spanking games out there in the woods either. Too much noise. (And of course I could still think of another good reason to postpone it.) (Yeah, right. Postpone. Not canceled. But I'll get to that in a bit, okay?)

I'll get to THAT after telling you about THIS, okay? Neither one of us having managed to think off, Adam went, "Well okay, you want to try something else? It's not going to make either of us gay, okay? So you want to?"

You know what? I like being seduced. And I think that's what's going on. So really, this is every bit as cool as what's going on with Tallis. To me it is.

But anyway, after I shyly nodded yes to whatever it was that he had in mind he asked, "So have you ever heard of a circle jerk?"

"Is that where you do me and I do you at the same time?"

"Yeah. So you want to? We'll see who comes first, okay?"

So I said okay. Really, I just LOVE being seduced. It is a trip! But in case you're interested, I came first. Just as soon as I grabbed his hot velvety soft hard as steel shaft and pulled his sort of loose foreskin down and then back up - it felt sort of, I don't know, squishy? - I erupted.

"Well damn! You're supposed to wait until I start pulling on it!" exclaimed Adam.

"Sorry" I said, "But you still want me to get you off, right?"

"Damn right I do."

So I did. And he didn't last all THAT long. I was hoping he could hold out, oh I don't know, thirty minutes maybe? But he didn't. Oh well.

But this is the best summer ever, I'm not kidding.

Oh, and about the postponed bit. Adam said he's not going to be around much until just before the tournaments next weekend. No, he's not going off anywhere, it's just that there are some things his grandparents want in exchange for his being able to drive their `84 Oldsmobile 98 when he turns sixteen, which is right after the tournaments. But either Tuesday or Wednesday right after the tournaments here, he and I are off to Reading, PA. They're having back-to-back tournaments in Reading and Harrisburg, and WE'RE going. Just us. And then, when we're not busy practicing... we'll try some more games. Which Adam assures me will not mean we're gay. Well, whatever.

But finally, Adam wondered if I'd ever written any porno stories. To which I replied (naturally) what kind of porno? Only I couldn't get a definite answer on that. So I guess I'll have to play it by ear. Make it a progressive sort of thing. But anyway, here's my first. It's a short one. And I'll only explain this much. One time I came across this book of fantasies and/or true confessions, okay? Some lady writer had males from thirteen on up to maybe eighty send her stories and then she offered her insight into the wonderful varieties of male sexuality and consulted psychoanalysts and psychotherapists and all that for additional insight. And apparently this book was on the national best-seller list for awhile. Really. So I was going to send that lady a fantasy or two, only before that happened the book was discovered in my room by my ever vigilant step-mother and that took care of that. But anyway, this one was supposedly written by Adam, okay?

* * *

My name is Adam. I'm sixteen. Also, I am profoundly gifted, which seems to be of more significance to my mom than to me. There are times when I wonder just what it will take to satisfy that woman. I'm the result of what in all probability was her only moment of weakness ever. (I'm illegitimate.) So there. I've said it. And I'm GLAD I said it.

But wait, there's more!

My mom likes to think she's quite progressive, so she told me about the birds and bees when I was six. I only asked a simple question and she told me everything, or at least I think she did. Because to be quite honest, I'm not sure WHAT she told me because it made me very uncomfortable and I tuned her out. You might not believe this, but my mom even started going around the house naked! It was supposed to make me feel comfortable with the idea of sexual differences, but I'm afraid it had the exact opposite effect. For one thing, I could sense that she was somewhat uncomfortable herself which was probably because she was forcing it. Also, I was bothered by her pubic hair. It frightened me. This might sound strange, but last year when I finally reached puberty, I was bothered by my own pubic hair. Had it not been for the simple fact that it would only grow back, I would have shaved it off. (And by the way, my mom did eventually stop going naked in front of me. I was to say the least, relieved.)

And I will also admit that once puberty arrived, I began masturbating with great enthusiasm, which led to the following embarrassing moment.

My mom is self-employed, so a great deal of her work is done at home, but one morning when she was supposed to be out of the house for some time I started wondering what it would feel like to stick my penis into a can of ready-mixed chocolate icing. Well, it felt very interesting, in fact, it occurred to me that it might be possible to very nearly simulate the sex act. I realized doing this could be a bit messy, so smart child that I am, I removed all my clothes except for my socks. I then placed the can of icing in the middle of my mom's kitchen floor, got over it and lowered myself down until it received me with a joyful slurp. It felt wonderful, as though it was sucking me right in! In fact, I must say, I thought it was the best idea I'd ever had, even after the inevitable conclusion. At least for a few fleeting seconds I thought it was something I might want to try again, but then as my eyes cleared, I was horrified to discover that I had made a considerable mess of the kitchen floor, not to mention myself. It was beyond belief! I seemed to be covered with ready-mixed chocolate icing from just above my navel to about a third of the way down to my knees and as for my genitals; they had all but disappeared. I could see almost nothing except a huge glob of slowly dripping chocolate icing. So yes, I was horrified and I was disgusted. And then my mom walked in.

Prior to that, the most intensely felt feeling of collective disgust had been when my mom icily suggested that in the future I might pay more attention to personal hygiene after my deodorant didn't work as advertised, but even that seemed insignificant in comparison. For a few seconds I simply could not move and my mom; who once did her housework in the nude in the interest of furthering my sex education; couldn't bring herself to look at me once she'd carefully set down her groceries. Finally I was able to stammer out something to the effect that I wasn't expecting her back until that afternoon.

"Obviously you weren't, Adam" she said while keeping her back to me. "It may well interest you to know that Mrs. Van Snoot is waiting for me outside in the car. I almost invited her in, Adam."

That would have been of some interest to all of us, I'm sure. Enveloped by an almost palpable black cloud of disgust, I stood there wondering exactly what to do next.

She said, "I assume you are about to go to the shower?"

"I'm... I'm sorry" I said.

"Wonderful" she said. "And I assume you are going to the shower?"

"Yes," I said sadly.

"Well wrap yourself with this so you don't leave a trail of chocolate on my carpet. Do you think there is any way you can possibly manage it?" and with shaking hands, she tore off a large sheet of Handi-Wrap. Still unable to look at me, she merely held it out until I took it from her. I was shaking all over as well.

She never made mention of that incident again. Actually, it was three weeks before she spoke to me at all. In retrospect, I wish I had been neater about it. And I also wish that I and several of my friends had fucked that can of icing ten times each and I wish that I had then made a cake and covered it with that can of icing and I wish my mom had shared it with Mrs. Van Snoot. One day, perhaps I'll see to this.

* * *

Well, it's like I've written a fantasy that involves someone who no longer exists. Sort of. And I may or may not show it to Adam. But if I DO, well, it might open the door for some other games, right?

Sunday, June 25th

Everything got a lot more complicated today because now Austin's back. So right from the start I guess I was acting a little guilty around him, not so much about the sex that I've managed, but about the fact that I promised to stop being a pot head. But still, Adam was over on his side of the course and me and Austin were on our side. So I wasn't high when I went over and I guessed if Adam were to ask, I could say something like, "Well, maybe not right now because me and Austin still need to practice a lot" and I think Adam would have gotten the hint and everything would have been cool enough. It's not like Adam's advertising it or anything, so right, I think that would have worked out all right.

Although when I mentioned me and Adam going to Pennsylvania and being gone for almost a week, Austin acted a little let down. So I felt bad about that, in spite of the fact that HE stayed up at Lake Superior for a lot longer than he originally said he was and of course I was pretty let down about that too. So turn about fair play, right?

Well, in my case, wrong. It looks like I want to please everybody. Or at least Austin, Adam and Tallis.

Right. Tallis. Who showed up just to watch and run his mouth a couple of hours after I showed up. He pulled me aside and said that we'd get together sometime early next week - you know, all night - (and yes, I'd left the butt plug at home this time) - but a little later, right in front of Austin, he just had to say, "Me and Adam are about to burn one. So you're coming too, right?"

So I shrugged apologetically for Austin's sake and answered, "Yeah, I might as well."

But... well, SHIT! I didn't want to hurt Austin's feelings. I swear I didn't. But I also like Adam and Tallis. I'm not sure how I'd rank them, although right now, I'd probably go Adam, Austin and Tallis in that order, but still, it's close.

I'm really bummed out right now. Because when I got back to the course, Austin was gone.

But maybe I can explain tomorrow. I hope. Because I like him too. A lot.

You know, this sucks.