"Why do you love me?" That's what I wanted to ask, but how do you ask a question like that?

Only as it turned out, I didn't have to. Sunday afternoon, Oct 9th, we were just talking. We were in my back yard, so that's ALL we were doing. But we were pretty far from the house, so we could talk all we wanted. So Constantin started, "The thing is... well, the club? It's not about love. We like each other and I'm sure we'd take up for each other, but mostly it's about sex. Nothing else really, just sex."

Which sort of sounded like something I didn't quite want to hear (even though I really had nothing against sex), so with all the wisdom handed down from my parents, I mused, "So we're not supposed to know about it yet. ... What I mean is, we might think we're in love, but we still don't know what it means. At least, that's what adults usually say."

"Yeah, maybe. But you want to know when I first started liking you?"

"Yeah. When did you fall in like with me?"

"In the fifth grade. Don't know why, but I started noticing you. I thought you were kind of cute."

"REALLY?"

"Goofy cute." (Which is better than just plain goofy I guess.) "You were always reading, even when we were supposed to be doing something else. But you hardly ever talked. So maybe I thought you were mysterious? ... I wondered what made you tick. And I wanted to take up for you."

"Yeah, that's always good. Especially when I got into it with Ray."

"So he always was a butt-hole anyway. He had it coming. But then when you just walked off-"

"Well I-"

"It was like you didn't even want my help," he interrupted.

"I did ... but maybe I didn't. I'm not sure. But see, I always liked you, but when that happened, I don't know, it was like... it was like I just crapped my pants and you saw me do it. So I didn't feel so good about it."

"Oh. ... Well, that makes sense. I think. ... Yeah, I guess it does at that. But anyway, after that for awhile I was like, `Well, the hell with it'."

"So then you WEREN'T in like with me."

"Nope. But then one day... I don't know if you remember this or not, but we had this reading assignment. Like we were supposed to read it in class, you know. So I noticed you were just flying through that muther. ... How'd you ever learn to read that fast?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. Just read all the time, I guess."

"Yeah, well anyway, you finished and you were just staring out the window or something. You were always daydreaming, weren't you?"

"Yeah."

"So you remember what I'm talking about?"

"Oh yeah. Now I do. I remember it REAL well."

"I couldn't believe you said that to old lady Phillips. Nobody ever talked back to her! ... But you remember, huh? She goes, `Why aren't you reading?' and you said, `Because I'm finished,' and she went, `You're lying. You can't be finished because I'm only halfway through myself!' and then she starts back up to her desk and you go, `Well you must be pretty dumb, then.' Fuck man, I almost fell out of my chair when you said that!"

"Yeah, well, it was dumb for me to say it loud enough for her to hear because I had trouble sitting for a couple of days."

"Your old man?"

"Big time."

"Well, sorry, but when she turned around and started in on you, you sat there staring at her the whole time like you were thinking, `Just eat me!' ... Was that what you were thinking?"

"Something like that. She pissed me off. And I didn't have any common sense."

"Well, that's when I started liking you again. And I didn't think about why, but I started wondering what you looked like naked, is all."

"So that's when you came up with that 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' deal."

"Yeah, right. But it didn't seem like you were into that too much. So back then you weren't, huh?"

"Really, I was, but I was embarrassed."

"Why?"

"Don't know why, I just was. ... But honest. I really liked your peter."

"You did? ... Well why didn't you say so, then?"

"Well, I DID!"

"I didn't hear it."

"You didn't? ... Shit. I must not have said it loud enough, then. But I could have swore I said it louder than that."

"Well, you didn't. But anyway, ... well, I'm trying to tell you something, okay? See, I always felt like that about certain boys. I just did. I had enough sense not to let on, but like I said, I didn't really think about it at all. Until I was around twelve and then I pretty much knew, but by then I also knew for sure I'd better keep it to myself, you know? But then Tyndal happened. So that was cool, but until they said they thought you were in love with me, I didn't think that was ever going to happen. Or at least not as long as I was living here. ... So what I'm trying to say is... well, if I love you because you love ME... is that okay?"

That was close. Getting all sentimental out in our back yard when one of my parents might be looking out the kitchen window... just wouldn't do. I still started tearing up a little, though. Then I managed, "Well I guess it's a pretty good starting point, anyway." Then he started laughing and punching at my arm, so I felt safe punching back at him, so pretty soon I managed to whisper, "Because I just love the fucking SHIT out of you. That okay?"

"Yeah," he said sobering up, "I can live with that. Guess we got to be careful around here, huh?"

"Afraid so. So you want to go over to your place?"

"My parents are home, remember?"

"Oh yeah. I forgot. ... Well, okay then. So tell me more about the `just sex' part, then."

"It's like I said. We do like each other. I guess really, we care about each other, but... well okay, take Tyndal. Everybody likes him. And he's cool. But it's like he's a politician, see?"

"Heap big scandal. About thirty, forty years from now."

"So I hope he's just a state senator or something."

"Shit. I hope he's president!"

"No! ... Well, it might help, you never can tell."

"Nope. Just heap big scandal. Oh, the SHAME, the-"

"You think you know everything, don't you?"

"No, but I know about big scandals. ... But maybe he'll just end up being a used car salesman or something."

"About the same thing as a politician, you mean."

"Yeah, pretty much. ... But anyway. So what about the twins?"

"They love each other."

"Well, that's cool. So-"

"But they can't marry each other."

"So they can just live in sin, then."

"They are anyway. ... Now Isac... I think he loves the twins, but really, he loves EVERYBODY. So... Well, maybe the twins would work out best for him. He'd sure get his little ass worn out, though. Isac's probably the closest to being a fem, but that's just around us, so I guess that's okay, too. But, anyway, that's the way it is. So, you cool with that?"

Sure I said, no problem.

Oh. And he did mention one other thing in passing: it was Tyndal's idea to use condoms. So everybody in the club does. If we're fucking, I mean. Because Tyndal started worrying about just how many different people Jaromir might have done it with. Apparently he was a long ways from being a virgin. But really, I guessed that was a good idea. And anyway, it solved one problem I was worrying about, like how the others were going to react when they needed to use a rubber with me. I was fairly sure I hadn't contacted a sexually transmitted disease by then, but I sure didn't want to answer any questions.

But the biggest reason he mentioned that was because my initiation was not about a month or so away, instead it had been moved up to be Friday afternoon, October 14th. (!!!!) (Stage fright.)

"But..." (I took a deep breath) "but I thought you were going to wait until you got your cast off."

"Well, I got to thinking," he said, calmly (as well he might since he wasn't the one being initiated) "and the more I thought about it... See, they're gonna be wanting to know and I don't think I can keep it a secret that long. So I guess we might as well do it. ... And I'll still be taking part in some of the more fun parts, okay?"

"Damn!" I thought, "I wonder whose bright idea this was anyway? Initiation, my ASS!"

But of course I said okay. And really, it wasn't all that bad. You're supposed to act like it's the worse thing that ever happened to you, but it's a game and you know it and they know it. Except for the fact that they know what's going to happen and you don't. But aside from that...

Well, it was pretty interesting, really. Like I already said.

* * *

Friday afternoon, October 14th. I'm not superstitious or anything, but I was glad it wasn't Friday the 13th all the same.

Constantin took me out to the place Thursday after school. Although to be more accurate, I took him. Started out, he was riding on the handlebars of my bike. Which was a little worrisome, as I couldn't stop thinking about that old country standard, "My True Love Fell Off the Handlebars and Got Run Over By a Truck and Now He Don't Like Me Anymore". Which I'd compose later on down the road when I was drunk. Which would often be the case, I imagine. So after a couple of close calls, I convinced him to ride on the seat instead. Going uphill was a pain, but downhill we just coasted and I sat in his lap. At first, his lap was very soft, but later on it wasn't. And that was distracting.

"The place" belonged to Tommy and Dorsey's grandparents. They only lived there in the late spring and summer; the rest of the time they were in Miami. But, anyway, they had 40 acres about two miles north of town and the house was well off the highway. And it was locked up. But behind the house was an old barn. And the next afternoon I would be discovered in the loft of that barn peeking out at the members of the club who would be doing something or other right down below me. Trespassing and peeking! So... they'd come up and set me straight. But he assured me it would end up being a lot of fun.

"So how am I supposed to be dressed?" I wondered.

"Like normal," he said.

"But I'm supposed to be up there before you guys show up, right?"

"Right. We'll be about ten minutes behind you. So just ride your bike over, park it out back, go up in the loft and wait, okay?"

So I said okay even if I was still a little doubtful about it. But I didn't let on, and on the way back he was busy talking about other stuff, some of which wasn't even related to sex. Like for instance, he's still keen on beating up Jeff in the near future. But then, Bloomington is close to a hundred miles away.

So probably not, but just in case, "Hey, I got an idea," I said, "Why don't you just teach me some of that Taekwondo or whatever, then I'll beat him up myself during our next family reunion."

"Well, why don't you just start taking classes? It don't cost all that much. Think your old man would let you?"

"I don't know. Maybe," I said. (And as it turned out, my father thought it was a good idea. Of course I didn't mention Jeff, but anyway, he went for it. Which worked out fairly well for a lot of reasons. Which I'll get to later.) (Because the next topic to be discussed involve the events of Friday, Oct 14th.)

Friday Oct 14th. A warm, Indian summer afternoon. A perfect day for an initiation. So I don't guess I'd been up in that loft for more than five minutes when here they came, kicking a soccer ball. And right away I knew exactly why I would be caught peeking, because both the twins and Tyndal were dressed only in boxer shorts. Identical uncool white boxer shorts with red stripes. And Tyndal's dick was poking out. Straight out and waving stiffly up and down. And him paying it no mind at all. Yeah, he's horny all right. Tommy's boxers appeared to be tenting just a little, but Dorsey's weren't, in his case, I didn't see any sign of things moving around period. And I sure wished I'd remembered to bring my binoculars. Shit! Why didn't Constantin SAY something about all this?

Constantin was hopping along like Long John Silver. All he had on were those somewhat worn jockey shorts he had on the Friday before. Fairly loose with a medium sized tear under his waistband on the left side. No tenting, but things were moving around very nicely. And again I cursed my lack of foresight. I mean, we had a GOOD pair of binoculars at home.

And then, there was Isac. (!!!) There was cute and then there was Isac. Except he was beyond cute, he was beautiful. And I'm just talking about at school. So while I wanted to watch Tyndal's dick bouncing around (and it looked to be fairly long with good circumference), while I was hoping to see the twin's dicks pop out, (both seemed worth having a look at even if for some reason Dorsey's wasn't moving around any) and while I never got tired of Constantin, Isac was somebody you had trouble taking your eyes off of. So fine, in his case, it was purely sexual. Had to be, because I didn't even know him all that well.

Although of the Reformed persuasion, he wore his side-locks long. Like an Orthodox Jew. But since he didn't wear one of those skull caps, I guess he just liked the way his hair looked like that. It was different. And I could tell he liked being different. Black hair, dark brown eyes, but with a pale complexion. Pale and flawless. I mean, he was almost pretty like a girl. He was small and on the frail side. He had a very precise way of talking. Which should have resulted in his being beaten up on a regular basis (Like every day?) except for one thing. He had a brown belt in karate. (Oops.)

He'd had only lived in our town for a couple of years.

But about that "!!!". What he had on was a pair of white bikini panties! Oh, my, God. So I guessed he was a bit on the fem side, at that. And could get away with it. Obviously. And like I said earlier, I had nothing against sex. I loved Constantin, he loved me. But, while Isac didn't have a boner, he did fill out those panties very nicely. I figured he'd be little, maybe not even close to starting, but right then I had to guess that he was probably bigger than me or Constantin. And although not in the world record category, it was a bit over six inches. (Just a bit of foreshadowing is all, and why, oh why, oh WHY didn't I bring my goddamn binoculars?)

Because in front of the barn they started playing in earnest. The four not crippled. Constantin just sat on a nearby fence and yelled encouragement. And I noticed for the first time that he had a big hole in the seat of his jockeys. Cute ass. Damn! I was going to go cross-eyed up there!

Actually, they were just making things up as they went along. It was a combination of soccer, football, rugby and grabbing. Lots and lots of grabbing. First the ball was kicked to Tyndal. By then, his had almost gone vertical. Oh my! Really, it was nice. Almost seven inches. Which is very nice. So... the ball was kicked to Tyndal, who picked it up and started running right towards the other three. I don't know who grabbed his shorts, but all at once RIPPP, they were gone! And I just about squirted. I noted that he had a nice, thick, dark brown bush, but very little hair elsewhere. And a really big dick. Which was bouncing around wildly. But anyway, Tyndal burst through the scrimmage line. Touchdown! Or something. And by way of celebration he ran up to Constantin and gave HIS shorts a quick yank. (Oh damn! Don't tear his shorts, I like them!) Then he kicked the ball back into play.

Like a hot potato, it went to this person and then to that person until finally Dorsey got stuck with it. I'm not sure how they figured that part out, but he yelled "Oh fuck it," and started running towards the others, and sure enough, soon as he hit the line, RIPPP, there his went too. Those boxers weren't all that cool-looking, anyway. Until the RIPPP part. But anyway, Dorsey's almost survived but didn't. But he had a jock strap on underneath. So that's why things weren't moving around. Nice ass, though. Very pale. But I guessed he really was sort of shy, just like Constantin said. But he wasn't going to keep that on, was he? Well, whatever, touchdown, and he gave Constantin's shorts a quick pull as well. And Constantin wasn't bothering to pull them back into place either. So now I could see the top of his pubes. This was so EXCITING!

Again the ball was kicked about until finally Tyndal grabbed it again. Only he was already naked. But no problem, back through the line he went. Touchdown! And now Constantin's shorts were down below his knees, hung on the top of his cast. And he didn't bother pulling them back up. Oh look! He's getting a boner! I really loved watching it rise up like that. And Isac's got one too! It's sticking up above the waistline of his panties! Shit! I never would have dreamed he'd have one that size! Kick it to him, kick it to him!

But actually, it went to Tommy. Boom! Into the scrimmage line he went. And RIP-PP again! Just shredded those things. His was sticking mostly straight out. Roughly the same size as mine and Constantin's except maybe a little bigger around. And he had a cute little blond bush. Touchdown! So okay, now Constantin's shorts were gone completely. Tossed over the fence. But not ripped to pieces, at least. Meanwhile, Dorsey looked pissed. Which made sense, because if your identical twin is naked, then you might as well be too. But meanwhile, somehow or other Isac's panties had come down to just above his knees and it was beautiful. It curved up like a banana. But no hair at all! And he had a cute ass too, even if it was a bit small. It had good definition, though. But anyway, I guess he didn't want to have his panties ripped, so he quickly stepped out of them and then everybody ganged up on Dorsey. Except for Constantin, who now was bent over the fence with his his butt facing the combatants. Was he supposed to be the prize or something? What a weird game. But anyway, struggle struggle struggle, but it was no use and at last down (and off) went Dorsey's jock strap.

"See, I told you he did it!" yelled Tommy.

"I did it because I WANTED to," yelled Dorsey back. Did what? Oh. Well damn!

Apparently for some reason he'd shaved his pubes off. I guess. Well, obviously he did, else Tommy wouldn't be making fun of him. But Dorsey's was sticking just about straight up. I mean it was almost touching his tummy. And it looked pretty much identical to his brother's. Interesting. And I'd already filled my shorts. I have no idea when it happened, but it did. But not for one instant did I take my eyes off the scene below, not for an instant. What were they going to do to Constantin?

Well, from the looks of things the person keeping his undies on the longest would get to poke Constantin's ass. Bent over the fence like that? That was going to be awfully uncomfortable, wasn't it? I would think so, but Dorsey and Isac were arguing about it. Which was interesting as well, because Dorsey was latched onto Constantin's left bun while Isac was pulling on the other. Which doesn't work the same way as pulling on a wishbone, but then in a way, it really did. I think Isac was right, though: Dorsey should have been disqualified because of him having that extra piece of clothing. But Dorsey went, "So you didn't even have yours yanked off, anyway. You took them off yourself!" and Isac said, "So? That means I win, then," and Dorsey shot back, "No it doesn't," and then Isac happened to look up. And in spite of everything, I could feel the color coming to my face. It was like I was frozen. Like a deer caught in the headlights, just like in my dream. Only Isac was never in one of my dreams. I hoped one night he would be though, even if I probably would've had him with a little bitty pecker and all.

But my ears actually started ringing. Which almost always happens whenever I have to do something I'm really scared to do. So for just a little bit, I don't know what anybody said, just that they were all looking at me and pointing and if I'm any good at all at lip reading, then they were also cussing quite a bit. And laughing. And then they were coming up the ladder. To where I was. And it looked like a long way down to the ground if I were of a mind to jump, so it sure looked like I was trapped.

Which would normally be a good place for me to end a chapter, but actually from that point on it was almost anti-climatic. To tell you the truth, I would have preferred the tie-up game, but as it was they just raped me. Which was really quite a marvelous experience, but still...

Well, I really was embarrassed at first. I was almost shaking. Because they were good at play-acting, I guess. And you know how it is with me, I was still fighting that self-image thing, so I was wondering if they'd all like me. Plus I was so into watching them and then Isac's suddenly "discovering" me peeking at them came at such an unexpected time - I mean, I was about to fall right out of that loft wondering exactly what they were going to do to Constantin and then...

I have to hand to Isac, he played it beautifully.

But, anyway, they all came up. And then they were standing around poor me, crouched guiltily on the floor. Looking at first one face, then another (then a couple of quick looks at all those raging hard-ons)... and they were all just staring right at me. Everybody but Constantin who remained down below. I was speechless!

But finally Constantin hollered up, "Get that little queer down here! Now!!"

Well, there were four of them, so still shaking, I guiltily made my way down with two ahead of me and two behind. There was no escape.

Once down, they pressed around me in a circle. "I.. I..." Nope, it didn't look like I could talk yet.

Finally Dorsey wondered, "You like looking at naked boys?"

And I said in reply, "I... I... well, I-"

Then Tyndal, who before had always acted friendly, cut in with, "Todd? That's your name, right? Todd. Yeah, I know you, all right. And I always did think you were a little queer. So you know what I want you to do, Todd?"

I stammered, "What?"

"Strip. Right now. You can do it yourself, or we'll do it for you. So you think you'll need any help?"

"I... I..." and then I sort of sighed, shrugged, (still shaking), and looking down at the ground, started fumbling with my shirt.

"Just your pants. I'd like to see you with your shirt on but nothing else," ordered Isac icily. Beautiful Isac, who had a brown belt in karate, was acting like I was ... nothing. Nothing at all.

I felt like I was in a daze, but quickly I pushed my jeans down and then knelt to get my shoes off, still unable to look at anyone. But when I felt someone pulling at the back of my undershorts I jerked. Then that hand reached around in front and gave my limp noodle a pull. See? I really was into the game. Completely.

"The little queer's filled his pants!" crowed either Tommy or Dorsey.

Tyndal asked me mockingly, "Did you shoot off watching us, Todd?"

I swallowed hard and-

"Stand up," he said curtly.

"But-"

"Stand him up," he ordered, and seconds later two pairs of hands pulled me roughly to my feet. Then Tyndal pulled my shorts down in front, took a look and said, "My, my. You've made quite a mess of yourself, now haven't you?"

So right. It was nicely played by everyone involved, very nicely indeed. But we really should be moving on to the good part. Which would be when finally I was naked. Isac changed his mind about my keeping my shirt on and just jerked it right up over my head and off. But at least by then I was casting furtive glances at the ring of unfriendly faces surrounding me. And guess what, my once limp dick was starting to lengthen a bit. Even though I was ashamed of it. Especially when the twins crowed out in unison, "Look! He's getting a hard-on!"

Tyndal went, "Well, Todd, do you know what you're going to do with my hard-on? I bet you do, don't you? You're going to suck on it, Todd. Think you can do that? Just get on your hands and knees and start sucking."

And so I did. And I kept getting harder.

Then when someone behind me was pulling my checks open, was pushing first one then quickly two greasy fingers into my hole, I started getting REALLY hard. Especially when I discovered it was Isac.

It was a trip. Isac was plowing me from behind while Tyndal's big dick was firmly implanted in my mouth. It was everything I'd dreamed of. I ended up having to suck all of them. And everybody could cum gallons. Or at least a lot. I still liked Constantin's the best though. And everybody but Constantin fucked me too. Tyndal's was wonderfully filling, Isac's did wonders and both twins were evidently very experienced. And because of me sucking everybody off, everybody but Isac was able to keep fucking me for quite some time. It was awesome! I came until I was drained, and even then I kept having orgasms. Seven, I think. And that's not counting my shooting off in my shorts before being "discovered" and when they started returning the favor.

Yes! They kissed and nuzzled and rubbed everywhere! Talk about sensory overload ... well, shit! I'm still sort of amazed.

So in conclusion to this chapter, I still loved Constantin the most. He walked me home. You think I was in any shape to ride my bike? I would've been wobbling all over the place. But, anyway, I loved him the most, as much as I ever did, and I don't much see how I could have loved him any more. But I guess I loved Isac, too. Because he was so SWEET, you know? Once my initiation was over, I mean. It was... nice. And the twins were pretty cool even if they were hyper as all get out and once again Tyndal was cool as well.

Being in the club, that was great. But Constantin? Wow. Just fucking wow, that's all I can say about it.