We now return to the affair with Constantin. Which was interrupted somewhat prematurely. But after learning that I had almost five HOURS...

I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. But I'd often felt like that in my dreams. I had lots of them, and not all of them were of the wet variety. But those sexual dreams... well, at least they were memorable ones.

But then being hit over the head with a hammer is memorable. Painful, but hard to forget. And the thing was, most of my dreams ended with an unexpected twist that wasn't too pleasant. I'd be making it with Constantin, I was giving him a blow job, he absolutely loved it, he liked me a LOT, I felt like I was in heaven, the roaring ocean was about to squirt, oh this was great... then Tommy and Dorsey opened the curtain. Oh no! I was on stage! In front of the whole damn school! And they're all laughing at me! Including Constantin. He's laughing most of all. He tricked me!

I still shot off though, so at least there was the moment. But I've already mentioned this: I did not have a positive image of myself. I thought being gay was something I'd always have to keep secret, so of course I was afraid of being found out. And of being used.

I was always having dreams like that. And sometimes they turned out even worse than the one above. Not very often, but occasionally I would even dream about girls. So we're already off to a bad start, but then I don't have control over what pops into my dreams, now do I? And anyway, the only reason I'm mentioning this dream is to show you just how negative the twist at the end could be. And I'll try to be brief.

I met this girl (I think she was a teenage hooker) and we were about to get it on. At least that's the impression I got. And I guess I was interested in finding out what it would feel like, because the ocean was getting louder. And I really am a little curious, if only for the sake of comparison. But, anyway, the girl opened the door to the room where apparently we were about to do it, turned, pulled out a razor and cut my throat from ear to ear. I am not making this up. (And I also didn't shoot off.)

Well, at least my dreams involving boys never turned out that badly. I'm trying to put a positive spin on things here, okay? So... (Well, the simple fact that I'm not likely to be writing much more about girls could be taken as a positive as well.) So... Shit. I'm just going to start another paragraph.

So, okay, then. Often enough my being exposed was just something that was very likely to happen in the near future - call it a sense of foreboding - but the moment wasn't so awful, like for instance when Tyndal and Steve were in front of my locker talking about something. (And Steve by the way is of no importance, just somebody in my class.) But anyway, they were naked and both had erections. Tyndal's was close to three feet long and big around as a tree trunk, while Steve's was really small. Miniscule. See, I told you he was of no importance. But I needed to get to my locker and as you might imagine, Tyndal's erection was blocking my path. So I'd just move it out of my way then. And I started pushing on Tyndal's mammoth boner which meant I had to put my hand on it and I shot off. But at least this time they weren't laughing at me, really, they seemed to be totally unconcerned, they just didn't feel like moving, that's all.

I dreamed about lots of different boys, and some of them I didn't even like. Or at least I didn't in real life. But...

Oh, well. Carpe diem and all that, right? And I wanted to banish all those negative feelings. So trying to feign a complete lack of concern - just wondering, that's all - I remarked, "I figured Tyndal and the twins would be by to see how you're doing."

"They all went to the j.v. game. Gotta put on their act. ... That's all it is, you know, just acting, but still they have to be there, you know?"

Which I thought was an interesting comment, but I shrugged and offered, "Yeah, I guess." So that was one negative thought out of the way.

"You know you're supposed to get your fingers real slippery, right? Creme rinse should work pretty good. So get one in, then two! ... That's my limit right now, just two, okay?"

Two. No more negative thoughts. Because I knew this wasn't something he'd want in our school paper.

Only I'd never pushed my finger up anybody's hole, remember? Even if it was the most private place of all, I didn't want to. But that was with Jeff. This was with Constantin. Constantin was soft and cuddly. Constantin had a broken leg. He needed my help. And his hole was twitching.

Well, it was! A little, anyway. So all at once my finger was touching that little corrugated ring. And it flinched, but not away from me. "So let's get this soaped up real good, okay?"

"Yeah," he said a bit breathlessly, "It works a lot better that way."

And so, greatly encouraged, my index finger slipped inside with little resistance. It felt hot, tight, slippery and soft. And it was squirming, too. Really. That's what it felt like.

"So okay," I thought, "Where is that button? ... Probably about the same place mine is, so... That's it! I found it! Yes!! And it really does feel like a little-"

"Ohhhh!!!"

Yeah, that was it, all right.

"See if you can-" (I hit it again.) "Oh fuck!!" (I was doing this good!) "Put in two now!"

So I did. My middle finger's longer, anyway. I was working in a confined space, but it was hot and slippery and soft and squirming like I couldn't believe and then it just clamped down. My fingers were stuck in there and they weren't coming back out until he quit squirting. No way, no how. But I could feel every contraction! So I really DID do good, didn't I?

Unless maybe I really wasn't supposed to mess around with his button that much, so I asked him about it. "So, was that okay?"

Constantin sighed. "Yeah, you... might... say so."

"But we can do some more stuff in a little while, right?" Meanwhile I was still trying to work my fingers out. And he was relaxing, but then it clamped down again. One final squirt. Except maybe he was hoping for a couple more. "Umm, could I have my fingers back?"

"Oh yeah," he said blissfully. So I don't guess he was giving my request his undivided attention, but it did relax and with a small fart, I popped them out.

"Sorry," he giggled. Which was kind of cute, because he was soft and cuddly and caring and possibly apologetic and hopefully thirsting for more and...

And that's why Jeff should be mentioned again. Although, I'll try to be brief about it this time. But if I were to ever come up with a top ten list of reasons why I didn't want to get anywhere near his butt, reason #1 would be that he thought cutting loud ripping farts was high comedy.

(And I'm not going to give you the other nine reasons either. Not even if you send a note requesting them. So there.)

I quickly washed my fingers off. It wasn't that bad, but you know... Then I wiped a small dollop of cum off his tummy with another finger. Sniffed. Put it in my mouth and swallowed. "Nice," I allowed. I never got to do that in my dreams.

"Hey, Todd, help me out of the tub, okay?"

So carefully I did. Then I wondered, "You want me to dry you off?"

"Please."

And so I did. I dried his butt REAL good. It was nice.

He sat down again. I sighed. But oh well, I had lots of time. Much as I could, I dried his legs and then his feet.

"Okay, now move up closer so I can get your clothes off. We'll put them in the washer with my stuff," he said.

Our clothes were going to be in the washer together! Could it get any BETTER? "I guess you know my undies are pretty sticky," I said in a muffled voice as he pulled my shirt up over my head.

"Yeah, I guess they are," he replied as he worked on my jeans. Zip, they were down around my ankles along with my undies. My heart was doing happy flip flops as I stepped out of them. I'm sure a look of awe was on my face. Wonderment. Love? Yeah, that too. I was trembling, and my dick was resurrecting itself. Not up to half mast yet, but it was stiffening. Just a warm glow that I was sure was going to last awhile.

He wiped a glob of cum from inside my shorts with his finger and sniffed. "Perhaps a bit musty," he observed. Then he put it in his mouth. Swished it around, then swallowed. "And a trifle flat, but that's to be expected," he added.

"Well, it has a very short shelf life. But was the bouquet all right?"

"The bouquet was MUSTY... But still somewhat pleasing. Give me a ride to the washer, please."

His thighs were pressed tightly up against my waist, his arms around my neck. I mean, he was facing me. Yes! His left cheek was up against my right cheek. Nice. My hands were under his bottom, holding him in place. I was sort of absentmindedly kneading his soft butt cheeks. And his penis was slowly coming back to life as well. Mine? A little beyond half-mast by then. With a that nice glow. So this was what heaven was like!

Well, it was close to a major sensory overload, if you want to know the truth about it. My poor heart was about to burst! That wouldn't be good. "I thought musty was supposed to be a good thing," I managed.

"Cum, good. Wine, not good," he mumbled.

I had to inject something into what was happening, to deflect it a little, because for the first time in my life, I was almost overwhelmed. I'd never felt like that before. Like I just said, major sensory overload. I only thought I'd loved him before. I had, but from afar. Because I thought that's all it could ever be, but now I REALLY loved him. And if he didn't love me quite as much, he still loved me enough. I was in heaven, all right. And that was before we even got to his room. I was thinking if it kept up, somebody would have to push my butt home in a wheelbarrow.

But we reached his room and with a sigh of relief I let him down on his bed. I was getting tired, you know? Try toting somebody around all over the damn house and you're almost worn out. Constantin patted the bed beside him and I gratefully plopped down and just stared at the ceiling, thinking about things.

He leaned over and gave me a peck on my cheek, then wondered, "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Don't know, just catching my breath a little," then I gave him a peck back. First time I'd ever done that too. So many firsts. But I didn't want to fry my circuits. So maybe if we were to just talk a little while. with me lightly stroking him and vice versa.

I leaned up on my elbow and looked at him. Then I started rubbing his chest. "That feels good," he said.

So that was cool. And I thought about it and finally I started, "You remember last winter when it got so cold? Right before the Super Bowl?"

"Oh yeah. I remember one thing about it. You wanna know why?"

"Was it because of you and Tyndal and the twins deciding to go streaking?"

That got his attention. "How... Damn. Who SAID?"

"Nobody. It's just that I was out there that night. On the trail in the woods." Which didn't sound quite right, so I quickly added, "You guys didn't see me because I was hiding. ... Because I was naked, too."

"Son of a bitch! Shit! That's wild. ... So okay, we were doing it sort of like a dare, but why were you doing it?"

"Would you believe I dared myself? Well, actually I did it because I wanted to get sick. ... I just felt like I needed some time off, that's all."

"So did it work?"

"Did I get sick? Oh yeah. It almost worked TOO well. But-"

"Well, at least I hope that gave you something to jerk off on."

"Oh it did! Shit, you, the twins, Tyndal... did you notice that Tyndal had popped one that night?"

"Tyndal was always popping wood. He's the one that... so you like Tyndal and the twins too, huh?"

"Well, I like-" (and I started to say that I liked him the most, but decided not to, I mean, it could wait till some other time.) So I continued, "Well yeah. Everybody likes Tyndal and the twins are a trip, so yeah, I do, but... well, what did you start to say about Tyndal anyway? ... If you want to, I mean. Because it's not like I'm going to tell anybody about it, you know? But shit, he was our class president and-"

"What about Isac? You think he's cute?"

"Isac. ... The cantor's son?"

"Yeah. So you like him?"

"Well, I don't know him, but... well, okay, he's hard to at least not notice, but... just exactly where is this going, anyway?"

"Yeah, I think he's cute too. Don't get me wrong, right now I think you are... well, you know... I like you a lot, even if you're a little weird, but in a good way but um... you want to be in our club?"

So of course my heart flip flopped again (that's what it felt like) but then..."Well, I like you a lot, too. But what club?"

"You'll have to be initiated, you know."

"Initiated. ... How?"

He leaned over and gave me another peck on my cheek, then said "Don't worry, you'll live." Then before I could interrupt again, "And this isn't your initiation, but... you want to switch positions?"

Who, what, where, HOW, oh my. This was getting... well, first things first. "Switch positions how?"

"Sixty-nine position?"

"If this keeps up I'm going to blow my mutherfucking circuits out," I groused unconvincingly.

"So don't you have a circuit breaker?"

"I don't know. I never had to use it before. ...So can we go slow maybe? Just a little?"

"Oh, if you insist," and he just started lightly stroking the head of my penis. There and a few other places. So of course I followed suit. And he just kept talking. So cool. Not to mention interesting.

"Last Super Bowl weekend. That's really when it all started. That night we all went streaking, Friday night, right? So okay. I guess the reason we decided to go streaking was because the twins had lifted a bottle of Jack Daniels from their folks. About a third of a bottle. After a party, so nobody missed it. So we drank it... you drink?"

"No, never tried it. At least not yet."

"Probably shouldn't. I know I'm not anymore, but anyway you know how you can get, right? It was Tyndal's idea, though. We were all spending the night at his house. Not that that had anything to do with us getting naked out there, well, it's like I said, it was a dare. Tyndal went, `I will if you guys will. Bet you won't though' and next thing you know, we're naked and freezing our asses off. If the twins hadn't been drunk though, I don't think they would've. Especially Dorsey. He's the shy one. At least at first he was. But anyway-"

"Hey. I just thought of something. Where'd you leave your clothes?"

"Right at the edge of the woods. So-"

"Oh shit! You probably left yours about where I left mine then. What would have happened if you'd seen 'em?"

"Not knowing who they belonged to? Your ass probably would have gone home naked."

"Then my ass probably would have froze to death."

"Probably. So I'm glad it didn't happen. But let me finish the story, okay? I'm about to get to the good part, okay?"

"Oh. Well, okay. I'm listening."

"So anyway, once we got our clothes back on and got through throwing up, we got our asses over to Tyndal's place fast as we could. We were just about FROZE! So we were staying down in the basement. It's like a rec room. And his folks are cool, never bother checking up on him, he just went like, `Hey mom, we're home. We'll wake ourselves up in the morning, okay?' and that was it. So the first thing we did was get our butts in the shower. They had one down there. But we were froze! So all of us squeezed in at the same time and we were packed in like sardines, you know? So we started thawing out and everybody popped wood. Like that was a big surprise. But no big deal, because one thing we had been doing was circle jerks. Like first we're just looking at Playboys and shit and getting horny and so it wasn't long until we were jerking ourselves off, then after a little bit Tyndal says it would feel even better if we did each other, so anyway, we'd already got that far. Twins admitted they'd done each other a lot, Tyndal was all for it and so was I. So... after we got out, we had our circle jerk. Nice, but nothing new. Then we just sat around and watched TV for awhile. But we didn't bother putting on any clothes. Twins thought it was cool being nudists like that, but then when we were about to hit the sack, Tyndal just crawls in naked. Said it felt great. And I ought to try it some time. Twins said, shit, they did that all the time anyway. Doesn't really surprise me very much, but see, they were sleeping on a mattress on the floor, I was sleeping with Tyndal on the hide-a-bed. And that's the first time I ever slept naked. Only I didn't get much sleep, because soon as I thought Tyndal was asleep, I started feeling him off. I pretty much figured I could get away with it, because I was starting to wonder about him and sure enough, pretty soon he was feeling me off too. So this is really working out great I'm thinking. But then all at once he scooted down a little and the next thing I knew, he did this!"

And that's all the warning I got, and then Constantin closed his lips around the head of my penis. And that was not my circuit breaker.

He flicked his tongue over my pee hole a couple of times, then moved his tongue slightly and down he went with the head of my dick rubbing up against the roof of his mouth until his nose was touching my bush, just like that. And my brain went up to the ceiling like water would go down a drain and started floating around up there. I'd tried to warn him - although I guess I might not have been forceful enough - but I HAD, but did he listen to me? Nooo.

Well, it did sort of feel like I was having an out-of-body experience. Seriously. At first it did. And then later on, it still did...

But of course I returned the favor. And it was much better than when I did it in my dreams. Most of the time in my dreams, I was just doing it, but I wasn't feeling it in my mouth, I wasn't able to smell his scent and it was all good. Even if all we were doing was priming the pump. I mean, he pulled off for a second and said, "We're just priming the pump, okay?" and I shook my head yes. "Mmmph?"

"You're not about to blow a circuit, are you?"

"Mmmph!" I pulled away. "Maybe I'm on backup now."

"So I'm going to pull away for now `cause it looks like you're about charged up, but... if you want to, you could do me a little longer. Just go easy, okay?" Then he rolled back over on his back and spread his legs open.

So I thought about it. And it really looked like he was pretty much charged up himself. Should be able to last a lot longer than before, but... oh, what the heck. I was fairly sure I could take in his dick and his balls at the same time, (something I'd picked up during the summer), but as he wanted to go slow this time, well, I'd work on just his balls for awhile. Drawn up a bit, but soft and plump and... I did. Gently. It was very nice, and he seemed to think so too. So I thought about it some more and decided to lick my way down underneath his balls. Down that little ridge leading to his hole. I wondered if I could really go all the way down there. I hadn't really made my mind up on this when I started (I don't suppose I would have been wondering otherwise) but anyway, I kept getting closer and closer. I was thinking it would smell ... well, you know... and I caught a faint whiff, but for the most part it just smelled soapy. With a hint of creme rinse. And a bit MUSTY. So there. But mostly it smelled like him. So I just kept going until at last my tongue reached that little corrugated ring. By that time he'd pulled his right leg up, which gave me better access. So I guessed I might as well give it a shot. But could I really get my tongue inside? What would it feel like? What would it TASTE like?

I knew what this was leading to. Apparently he was as anal as I was, maybe even more so. Hadn't ever had a broken leg, so I didn't know how that problem could be worked around, nor did I even know if I'd want to try. If it was me with a broken leg, I mean.

But that was still in the future. Apparently the in very near future, but still not right then, and at that moment I was having some trouble because his legs needed to be opened up a little more. "Um, maybe if you were to turn over on your tummy I could get at you easier," I suggested.

"Okay doke," said Constantin.

I pulled his right leg out. Took a deep breath. "Comfy down there?" I asked. (Stalling a bit, aren't I?)

"Yeah," he answered in a muffled tone of voice. Oh. So it looked like I was about to find out what it was like. I'd been on the receiving end before so I wasn't all that surprised to learn that he was willing, but...

"Oh and you know what else?"

"What?" I wondered. Hyperventilating and wondering all at the same time. Oh my goodness.

"That night I was telling you about? First time Tyndal went down on me? And me on him? Found out the twins were busy doing it too. Right about then they were. They did everything together!"

"Oh," I said distractedly.

You want me to blow a fuse or something? I mean seriously now...

And what about this club? What initiation?? ISAC?!!? Not to even mention our former 8th grade president. He started all this?

And am I ready for this? WHAT damn initiation?