The Michael who returned to the party only vaguely resembled the one Jay thought he knew. Closely watching as several beers were thrown back in quick succession, he was quite surprised when Michael then hit the dance floor. Gyrating bodies parted to let him in, and he danced with the group, never settling on any one person. Jay was in awe - he had no idea straight country boys could dance with such reckless abandon, like he didn't care who was watching.

However, others were watching: Angie, who always looked out for her brother and Jay, who'd named himself unofficial chaperone for anyone incapable of making rational decisions due to alcohol consumption. However, Angie had raised a suspicious eyebrow when he'd returned alone, and her continued scrutiny kept him from approaching Michael directly, though he was dying to resume their conversation.

What had happened on the porch was both the answer to his prayers and his worst nightmare. Sure, he'd harbored secret dreams about the hunky brother of his best friend, but those were just dreams. That kiss was another matter. Any attempts to seduce a straight man could only end in pain, physically or emotionally, and Jay had a hard and fast rule against involvement with someone who was unsure of their sexuality or just experimenting. Michael might prove to be the exception. If he could ease the man's pain in any way he'd gladly do it. After their earlier encounter and Michael's subsequent withdrawal, stepping back and allowing some space for thinking things through seemed prudent. He'd left the invitation open, now he just needed to be patient and see if it was accepted.

Then he noticed that he and Angie weren't the only ones watching. Terry was even now making his way into the mass of bodies, easing his way towards Michael as though it were an accident that found them pressed so closely together and not a calculated move.

Jay watched his sly former lover subtly working the buff blonde away from the other dancers. Caught up in the pounding rhythm and the moment, Michael was oblivious. When Terry's hand, none too discretely, slipped beneath Michael's shirt to caress his stomach, the rules of the game changed. Jay needed to step up and stake his claim or Terry would beat him to it. Terry only wanted another conquest, and a quick fuck was not what Michael needed right now. And, altruistic motives aside, if the straight boy was going to walk on the wild side, Jay would be his tour guide.

He nearly growled when Terry reached out and fondled Michael's ass. Michael, oblivious, didn't pull away. That was dangerous considering who he was dancing with. Terry didn't believe in subtlety, and would take anything short of a slap as encouragement. Their dancing looked more like something Jay saw in the gay clubs in Atlanta than a house party in Cookesville, and he pushed his way through unyielding bodies, trying to get there in time. He groaned aloud as the former soldier turned and left the room, not a bit surprised when a grinning Terry followed a split second later. This was also something he'd seen, and participated in on occasion, in Atlanta. Was the guy born yesterday? Someone needed to leave a copy of the Gay Handbook lying around so dumb straight boys didn't blunder into situations like this.

As self-appointed guardian Jay quietly followed them into the kitchen and positioned himself just inside the door. He'd keep his distance and, if the inadvertent come-on was an innocent mistake, he'd take care of it. However, if Michael accepted Terry's advances then there was nothing he could do but walk away, though it just might kill him. He watched quietly from the shadows as Terry snagged a beer, bracing his arm against the refrigerator door, effectively corralling his quarry who had just retrieved a bottle of water.

"Hey, man, want another beer?" the predator asked.

"Nah, I'm good. I think I've about had enough already." Michael looked genuinely puzzled at the arm blocking his escape.

"Aww...one more won't hurt. You don't have to drive home, you can just stay here." Placing the beer on the counter, Terry dropped all pretense and boldly embraced Michael. "We have plenty of room," he purred, lips only a breath away from his captive's, the suggestive tone confirming just which room he was offering. Jay's protective instincts-finely honed by his role as an older brother - rose in all their fierce glory.

Clearing his throat loudly in warning, he rounded the corner just as Terry pressed the beer into Michael's hand, arm blatantly claiming possession of the man's body. "He said he's had enough," Jay growled, emerging from the shadows.

"Jay!" Michael exclaimed as he jumped away from Terry, the relief obvious in his eyes.

So, the blunder was an innocent one, after all. The twisting in Jay's gut lessened considerably.

Terry, unaware of the change of circumstance, slowly turned his head to face his challenger as if not at all surprised to find him there "He's free, white, and twenty-one," he stated flatly, a self-satisfied smile on his face. Jay was certain that the added, "He can make up his own mind," didn't just refer to the beer.

"He did decide, asshole; he said no more." Jay leaned against the stove and crossed his arms across his chest, sending the message that he didn't plan on going anywhere. He clenched well-defined biceps, a primitive warning that he would become physical if need be.

Terry smiled wickedly, unimpressed. "This doesn't concern you, Ortiz; we've been over for months. I'm free to do what, and who, I please. Besides he invited me here, didn't you, Michael?"

"What!? No I didn't!" Michael denied emphatically, eyes wide in disbelief.

"Yes, you did!" chorused Terry and Jay in unison.

"No, I didn't," Michael mumbled under his breath, but the other two men turned their attention to their fight for dominance, momentarily forgetting their prize.

Jay smiled and it wasn't at all pleasant. "This isn't about you, Terry. This is about who you've been pawing. I'm not letting you take advantage of him. He doesn't bat for our team and doesn't know what he's doing." Turning to Michael he feigned nonchalance, when he asked, "You do realize that within oh, say...fifteen minutes Terry here intended to have you face down on his bed while he carved your name on his bedpost, right?"

Michael's stunned look assured Jay that sex with Terry wasn't what he'd intended. If fact, he gave up any pretense of good manners and fled to the other side of the room, hiding behind Jay, who smiled at the unintentional compliment.

Though he owed no explanation, Jay wanted to ensure that Terry understood the situation completely. "Look, Terry, he's got some issues. They're not mine to share, but suffice it to say that he's not up to being a plaything. He's got too much on his plate already to deal with something like that."

Terry assumed a defensive stance. "Well, I didn't even suspect he might be interested at all until a little while ago. Hell, I thought he was straight. Then tonight, well, you saw him; he was definitely coming on to me out there." It was so like the Terry to blame his victim. Another reason they had broken up: nothing was ever Terry's fault.

Feeling a warm hand on his back, Jay wondered why Michael hadn't run screaming yet. However, it wasn't him he wanted to send running, so he played his trump card. "I get the feeling that's what most people thought, including Angie."

The name dropping had the desired effect. Terry gave him that wide-eyed, helpless expression that had seemed so endearing back when they'd been dating. That 'I've-just-fucked-up-can-you-help-me-fix-it?' look. The problem was, Jay had spent the next few months doing just that - fixing Terry's fuck-ups. The man needed a keeper, not a boyfriend, and Jay liked his relationships less high-maintenance.

It was very telling that a macho guy like Terry was terrified of Angie. She might pretend to be a helpless southern belle on occasion, but everyone knew who called the shots and they all depended on her to keep the peace. Angie Cooper was the law, as far as the Zoo was concerned, and if it weren't for her the arrogant prick would have been out on his ass a long time ago. Behind his back they called him "Angie's Stray."

Jay dismissed him with a wave of his hand and, with undisguised relief, Terry fled back to the party with a muttered, "Sorry, man," leaving Jay, as usual, to clean up the mess.

Angie burst in moments later but, at a quelling look from Jay, raised her hands in submission and left the way she'd come. She might be the Marshall but Jay was her deputy, though he knew she'd expect a full report later. Right now, though, Michael was more important. Angie would just have to understand.

"Sit down before you fall down," Jay ordered, pulling two chairs from under the kitchen table and flopping into one.

Slowly Michael eased into the remaining chair, eyes downcast. "What the fuck just happened?"

Now that was a very good question. "You gotta watch yourself around Terry; he's not that bad a guy, but he's an opportunist. He saw you were drinking and...well...kinda loose, and took the chance. And yeah, you were sending out some signals."

Michael had just opened his mouth to speak when the kitchen was invaded by thirsty partiers. After making half-hearted conversation with his housemates and sending them on their way, Jay turned his attention back to Michael.

"Why did he think I would... well, you know?" Michael asked softly.

"Like he said; he didn't at first." Jay's couldn't believe the man's naïveté. He stood up, towering over Michael. "Jesus, Michael, you were practically advertising out there! He just took that chance to see what would happen."

Michael flinched. "Advertising?" he asked in a small voice.

Jay sighed and he paced the room in agitation. "You were making it pretty clear that you were available."

"I was?"

Could a brother of Angie's really be that naïve? Nobody was that naïve. "Look, dude, you're not in your little hetero world here, you left Kansas a long time ago."

At Michael's befuddled look, Jay explained. "Imagine a gay bar full of men looking for one thing." Ignoring Michael's blush he continued, "They're dancing; or rather they're bumping and grinding against each other like you were doing out there. Anyway, one guy leaves and the other follows him to the back room."

Michael's startled expression told just how ignorant he was of such matters. Damn it, he really was that naïve, after all. "Congratulations, straight boy," he growled, "you just issued your first 'meet-me-in-the-back-room-for-a-blowjob' invitation and it was accepted."

At the genuine horror in those big blue eyes, Jay regretted being so brutal and attempted to soften the blow. "Look, Terry is an opportunistic prick but he wouldn't have come in here if he didn't think you were open to the idea. He's an asshole at times, but he plays fair."

Blond head sagging, Michael brought to mind a small child being scolded. Jay hated being so hard on him, especially so soon after his earlier episode, but he needed to know the dangerous ground he was walking. If it had been some others Jay knew instead of Terry, they might not have backed down so easily.

Willing himself to be patient, he took a deep breath and attempted to explain. "Look, Michael, a few hours ago I didn't think you'd be open to suggestions, either. You certainly didn't do or say anything to indicate it, at least not until out on the porch a little while ago. It's like you flipped some kind of switch, because when you come back in you're suddenly on the prowl. And you straight boys are dumb as a bag of hammers when you wanna be, you know that?"

"I'm sorry." It was so softly spoken that Jay scarcely heard it.

"For what?" He stopped his pacing to look at Michael, his guilt mounting when he noticed how small and lost he looked - not an easy feat for someone that large.

"For keeping you away from the party and setting you at odds with Terry; for what nearly happened... I didn't mean to be issuing or accepting any kind of invitation. At least, not to him."

Jay chose to ignore the softly mumbled afterthought, though the comment renewed the knife-in-his-gut-being-twisted feeling. But as his jealousy ran rampant he recognized the truth-he had no claim to Michael, as much as he might wish otherwise. Finally, he sighed and asked, "Why should you apologize to me? Like he said, it was your choice to make." Even if that choice knotted Jay's guts and made him want to rip Terry's handsome blond head from his shoulders.

"I didn't intend for him to follow me in here; we were dancing and I got thirsty. Next thing I know, there he is. I never realized that he'd see it as an offer. It's not him I wanted, anyway," Michael blurted, shocked expression betraying that he hadn't intended to say that aloud.

The remark, coupled with Michael's earlier comment, caused Jay's hold on his jealousy to slip. So there was someone Michael wanted. Well, that was just too bad because he knew everyone at the house tonight and had no intention of sucking it up while whoever it was paraded Michael around like a prize, taunting him with what he couldn't have. "Oh, yeah?" he sneered. "Well, maybe you should tell me just who it is and I'll tell you what's wrong with them and why you should stay the hell away from them!"

He never expected to hear, "You, Jay. I want you."

Jay quickly hid his shock as their conversation was again interrupted. Only this time the invading revelers didn't seem to want to leave and it was all Jay could do not to scream at them to get out.

He and Michael needed to talk. They couldn't use his room, that would be too obvious and, knowing his roommate, it was probably occupied. There was too much of a chance for interruptions on the porch, so that left only one other choice for a private venue. Grabbing Michael by the arm, Jay dragged him out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

* * *

"There," Jay said, releasing his death grip on Michael's wrist. "Now we can talk."

Harsh, glaring lights flooded the small bathroom and Michael blinked hard, eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. He heard, rather than saw, the door close and the lock engage.

"Look, dude, are you playing me?"

Michael's eyes widened in surprise at the obviously pissed off Texan. "Playing? What the hell are you talking about, Jay?" What had he done? Surely he hadn't misread the man? That confession had taken every bit of his nerve; Jay was supposed to be happy, damn it, and kissing him into oblivion, not questioning his motives!

Arm braced against the wall by Michael's head, Jay growled, "Wanna know what it's like with another man? Are you just satisfying your curiosity before you run back, safe and sound, to your little straight world? I know I promised whatever you needed, but if you're just looking for someone to experiment with and aren't really particular about the who, then you've come to the wrong place."

"No, it's not like that!" Michael gasped, body trembling. He hadn't fully recovered from his earlier adrenalin overload and, though he knew deep down that Jay wouldn't hurt him, a tendril of fear crept up his spine.

Jay's expression became less frightening, although an undercurrent of anger remained. Voice somewhat calmer, he asked, "Well then tell me, Michael; what is it like?"

Hastily seeking the right words to redeem himself, all that came out was, "I'm gay."

If eyes were the windows to the soul, his were a pair of sliding glass doors, no curtain in sight. His deepest, darkest thoughts had nowhere to hide as those dark eyes bored into his, exposing his every secret. Without warning Jay swooped in and delivered a scorching, brutal kiss. Michael's cock grew instantly hard.

Jay pulled away, reaching down and squeezing the engorged flesh. Michael moaned, welcoming the unexpected contact. Jay jumped back as if burned. "You really aren't playing, are you?"

Michael shook his head.

Those dark eyes continued to study him and, while Jay's expression was unreadable, at least it was no longer angry. "Sorry," he whispered "I didn't mean to do that."

Michael closed his eyes and let out the breath he was holding. If he looked at Jay now he'd be too unnerved to speak and there were things he desperately needed to say. "It's okay," he said, willing that hand to return and finish what it started. Maybe it was time for a little blunt honesty. "It's not like I haven't been leading you on."

Jay no longer accused Michael but defended him. "No, it's not okay; I knew how things were for you - how they are. I pushed. When you caught me off guard like that out on the porch I dared to get my hopes up. Why didn't you tell me you were gay?"

If he looked at the man right now he was going to attack, so Michael opened his eyes to stare at Jay's reflection in the mirror that hung over the sink, his heart beating so loudly he was amazed the man couldn't hear it. "I'm not out and planned on leaving this God-forsaken place before that ever happened," Michael said.

Jay stared at him in shock. "You're not out to anyone? Not even your family?"

Michael shrugged. "Mom knows."

"But not Angie?"

"I plan on telling her, I just haven't had the chance. Besides, she'd too busy with school right now and she'd just fuss over me." Not to mention meddle in his life, fixing him up with every eligible gay male she'd even remotely heard of and badgering him incessantly about his love life.

"That's true," Jay agreed. "I still can't believe she doesn't know. Y'all seem to be so close."

Michael loved his sister, but now was not the time for discussing her. Now was the time to get back to the kissing and groping. Still, he pushed aside his body's demands long enough to explain, "We are. But I'm just coming to terms with this myself. And, like I said, I didn't intend to come out here."

"Well then, why did you? As far as I know everyone thinks you're straight. Why jeopardize that, especially if you plan on leaving?"

In answer, he leaned in and locked their mouths together, pouring in every bit of his desire and longing. Slowly he pulled away and leaned back against the wall, saying with his eyes what he couldn't say with words.

"Me. You came out for me," Jay said quietly. It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Michael confirmed. "I told you downstairs who I wanted."

They stood gazing at each other for a long moment before Jay replied, "I'll accept that. But I have to ask you this; you can tell me it's none of my business if you want, but had you ever kissed a man before tonight?"

"No." It seemed he was doing okay with honesty, so Michael decided to stick with what worked.

It stopped working. "That's what I thought. Look, you're obviously dealing with some pretty heavy shit tonight and I took advantage of that; I'm no better than Terry. I just hope I haven't ruined our friendship by pushing this."

He'd come too far for Jay to go noble on him, so Michael shut him up the best way he knew how. Heart hammering in his chest and his few remaining inhibitions screaming at him to run, he tilted his head and sealed their lips together, knowing he was crossing the point of no return.

Kissing Jay was different from kissing a girl, the unfamiliar tickle of whiskers a reminder that he was, in fact, kissing a man. Kissing Jay. It was exciting beyond his wildest dreams. No girl had ever made him feel like this.

If he were going to Hell the least he could do was enjoy the ride. When a low moan escaped he wondered who'd made it, then decided it didn't matter. Jay's body was rigid and unyielding for a moment then he relaxed with a sigh.

Abruptly Jay stepped back, breathing hard. "How many fingers am I holding up?" he panted.

"Two."

"Well, you're not drunk," Jay said, a soft smile playing on his lips. He studied Michael with a critical eye and then stretched out his hand. Expression solemn, he said, "If that's how you truly feel, and you mean it when you say you want me; then allow me to escort you from your closet."

Michael placed his hand palm-down on Jay's. Tugging gently, Jay forced him to take a step forward, then another, his smile widening with each step. When they were finally pressed body to body, Michael drew a quick breath, only to exhale forcefully as teeth and lips descending on his sensitive throat. Jay pushed him back against the wall.

"Oh, God!" Michael moaned, lost in indescribable feelings, his cock pressed painfully hard against the front seam of his jeans. He'd only had one sexual experience with another man, but that had been enough for him to know what he'd been missing with girls. That experience, eye-opening as it was, paled in comparison to this.

Awkwardly uncertain as to where to put his hands, he finally relaxed and did what came naturally; wrapping his arms around Jay and grasping his ass, pulling him close. When it came down to it, his body knew what it wanted-instinct was all that was necessary. He moaned and resumed that wonderful rubbing that had started on the porch. Jay was as tall as he was and quite muscular; he could grab and squeeze and even bite without fear of causing harm. And they were alone; no one would ever know what went on in this little room, unless one of them told. With that thought the last of his resistance fell. Letting go was exhilarating and Michael stopped caring about what might happen next week, tomorrow, or even in an hour.

All he knew was it felt good, it felt right, and he didn't want to stop. So caught up in feeling, the words spoken softly against his skin nearly didn't register. "Oh God, Querido. I've waited so long for this!" Other unintelligible encouragements were drowned out by moans as Jay introduced him to places that he didn't know could excite him so.

"Tell me you want me, tell me you'll let me..." Michael froze, shocked back into reality. He wasn't ready to be on the receiving end and hadn't even considered it so early in the game.

Suddenly the moment was shattered by someone pounding on the door.

"Hey, man. You've been in there long enough. Others are waaaaiiiitttting!!!" shrilled a slightly slurred voice.

Placing a fingertip against Michael's lips, warning him to silence, Jay called out, "Dude, trust me on this one. You do not want to come into this room anytime in the near future! It was two for one burrito night at the TacoPalace!" He smiled and winked at Michael, still held captive in his embrace. "Try the downstairs bathroom," he suggested.

Profanity and rude comments followed the sound of boots stomping down the stairs. Michael was embarrassed that he'd been so distracted as to miss the sound of feet climbing the uncarpeted wood. Jay remained motionless, obviously listening to ensure their unwelcome intruder was gone.

When Jay spoke again his words were little more than a husky murmur. "Querido, I won't lie to you. There's nothing I'd rather do than bend you over that sink and slide so far into you that you can taste it."

Michael suddenly couldn't breathe.

Thankfully, Jay saved him-something he seemed to be doing a lot lately. "I wouldn't do that unless you wanted me to. If you aren't ready, it's okay. I want you badly enough that I'll wait and hope that one day you'll want that as much as I do. But for now, I'll take whatever you're willing to give me.

"What are you willing to give me, Michael?" Jay asked, his warm lips brushing chastely against Michael's forehead. Incredibly aroused and unable to speak, Michael merely nodded his head, hoping Jay understood. White teeth flashed against dark skin. "Stop me if I push too far," Jay said. Then words became unnecessary.

Michael pushed down his reservations, knowing deep down that if he said "Stop," Jay would.

Opening his lips, he was overwhelmed by the desperation with which his mouth was consumed, tasting beer and pizza on Jay's tongue.

He had his share of kisses, but none matched the intensity and ferocity of this one. Jay pulled back far enough to breathe against his lips "Is this okay?" as his hands left Michael's shoulders and began to wander down his trembling body-trembling now in excitement instead of fear. He could only nod; his oxygen-deprived brain lacked the resources for a verbal response. Long, nimble fingers freed his shirt buttons, pushing the thin material open and off of his shoulders to pool on the floor at their feet.

Those long fingers fluttered over his chest as Jay's mouth sought his once again. This kiss was just as nerve-searing, but not nearly as frantic. There was acceptance in it; acceptance that they would be lovers, it was no longer a question of 'if.'

Jay rubbed the dusky nubs of Michael's nipples, causing them to stiffen. Michael moaned and arched his back, begging for more. When those fingers became harsh-pinching instead of merely rubbing-he nearly came.

Jay's hands made short work of the button and zipper of his jeans, then his hand slipped into the opening, reaching into Michael's boxers. Opening his eyes to find his would-be lover watching him, Michael nodded his permission to continue.

His head fell back, smacking against the wall and his eyes closed in bliss as Michael gave himself over to his partner. Familiar with his own touch and with the small, delicate hands of females, this was unlike anything he'd felt before, even that night with Ryan. Jay's hand was large and rough, with long, strong fingers that wrapped expertly around his cock, applying just the right amount of pressure. It wasn't at all like the awkward fumbling of Ruth Ann. This was someone who knew what it felt like, who knew firsthand how to give and receive pleasure.

He felt a brief moment of panic, knowing that he was crossing the line, one he couldn't re-cross if things got difficult. Ryan had been an accident, this was different, this was planned.

"Shhh....Querido; relax and just enjoy it. Let go, I've got you."

The murmured encouragements and sultry smile were his undoing. Damn, but Jay's easy confidence was sexy. After so many years of trying to be strong, be a hero, and hold it all together, it was sweet relief to allow someone else control.

Jay pulled him closer, urging his head onto a wide shoulder. Pressure building, Michael's muscles trembled, the fluttery feeling in his belly and groin marking the beginnings of his climax. He couldn't hold out much longer, though he fought to make it last.

"Jay," he pleaded, "please don't stop."

Warm breath ghosted over his neck, sending cold chills racing along his body. A faint, "You sure?" sounded like it came from a million miles away.

He answered with a thrust of his hips, a silent plea for more. Jay answered, working him faster and kissing him, muffling his frantic moans.

Michael broke the kiss, shouting, "Jay!" then smothered his cries against Jay's chest, trembling uncontrollably.

"That's it, Michael," Jay crooned. "Show me how good I'm making you feel. Come for me, Querido!"

Michael lost control, teeth sinking into Jay's shoulder, his cock convulsing in hard, rhythmic pulses, filling Jay's hand.

Being pressed closed to Jay's muscular body was the only thing that kept him from falling to the floor as he gasped for breath, coming down from the best orgasm of his life.

"Was that good for you, Michael?"

Michael lazily opened one eye to find Jay smiling down at him with the same look his dream lover often wore, but it Jay holding him now, patiently waiting for an answer. In that moment, lost in the afterglow, the lines between the two blurred and the man that haunted Michael's dreams was no longer faceless. He hesitated a moment too long and lost his chance to answer.

"Dude! There's a line for the other bathroom! You gotta come out! Just spray something, all right?"

Jay rolled his eyes and looked apologetically at his partner. "Sorry 'bout that," he whispered quietly. "If I'd have known..." Turning toward the door Jay replied loudly, "Well, there's a half bath off the back porch! Use it!"

Loud cursing followed the retreating footsteps down the stairs, but it was too late, the mood was broken.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Jay said softly, leaning a nearly boneless Michael against the wall and turning away to noisily twist the water tap of the sink.

Michael, still in shock over what had just happened, leaned motionless against the wall, letting Jay gently clean him with a damp cloth and put his flaccid cock back into his boxers, zipping and buttoning his jeans. He felt totally helpless as his shirt was pulled onto his unresisting body and quickly buttoned. A brief kiss was brushed against his forehead before Jay unlocked and opened the door, looking out through the crack before pulling it wider.

"The coast is clear," he said without turning around. "I think you'd better get back to the party."

Michael stammered, "But what about you?"

"Do you think you're really ready for that?"

He didn't know the answer to that. What could he possibly do for Jay except maybe a fumbling attempt at a hand job?

"I thought not," Jay said quietly. Standing aside and holding the door open, he motioned Michael to leave. "I'll be down in a minute," he said, closing the door.

Michael and his guilt stood on the landing, believing he'd just cheated himself as well as Jay. Then he remembered that he'd forgotten to reassure his lover. Even now Jay was probably kicking himself, worried that Michael would regret what had happened. Far from regretting it, Michael wanted more - lots more.

He'd just raised his hand to knock when he heard a relieved, "Oh, there you are! I was wondering where you'd gotten off to." And just like that he was swept away back into the party by Angie, when all he really wanted to do was make things right with Jay.