In theory Jay's car should have been roomier that Angie's truck; reality was a different matter entirely. The two-door rust and 'chicken crap yellow' exterior of the ancient Toyota Tercel was quite impressive when compared to the inside. It looked as though Jay lived in the car and not the house, with books, clothes and dishes filling the interior. Michael had to remove a fast food drink cup half-full of questionable semi-liquid from the passenger seat in order to get in. Gingerly placing it on the floor, he hoped that the ever-weakening bottom wouldn't choose that moment to end its fight with the inevitable; he had no desire to get up close and personal with whatever was sloshing around inside.

"Sorry about that," Jay said, grin never dimming as he slid under the steering wheel, his expression contradicting his words. "The car's a bit of a mess." His tone suggested he was merely stating the obvious and not actually apologizing for any shortcomings. Knowing what a neat freak Angie was, battles were probably fought daily about the state of the car and Michael was willing to bet good money that she wouldn't be caught dead driving it. Her truck might not enjoy the best maintenance program but it was kept clean.

He managed to squeeze his bags into the already-filled-to-capacity area in the back and attempted, unsuccessfully, to adjust his seat to allow more room for his long legs. Unfortunately, there were just too many obstacles in the way. A quick glance over the seat revealed a football helmet and a backpack, along with a few hundred additional items wedged behind his seat.

"Do you play?" Michael asked, focusing on the helmet, looking for a way to break the tension of being alone with his sister's boyfriend, said boyfriend making him feel things he didn't know how to deal with. Why? Why did he have to find this particular man attractive?

"Play what?" A cheeky grin and waggling eyebrows said just how Jay had chosen to interpret the question.

"Football," Michael clarified, blushing hotly. Was Jay flirting with him? "Do you play football?" he asked again, immediately feeling stupid for asking. Of course he played football; Angie had mentioned it in her letters often enough.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Jay's eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed. "Now why would I be carrying around a football helmet in my car if I didn't play?"

"Ummm...maybe because you have everything thing else in here but the kitchen sink?"

"Damn!" Jay exclaimed, fastening his seatbelt and motioning to his passenger to the same. "I knew I forgot something! Remind me to go by the hardware store and pick one up while we're out, okay?"

Ignore the intended joke, he asked, rather hopefully, "We have a hardware store now?"

"Well, actually, no. But there's one over in Hanley."

It figured. Nothing ever happened in this one-horse town and probably never would. If he had his way it wouldn't matter one way or another; he'd be long gone. And wherever he wound up would have to be one hell of a lot more progressive.

Jay cleared his throat and Michael looked over to find him smiling in amusement, those dark eyes sparkling with humor. "I'd say that you were lost in thought because it's unfamiliar territory but, judging from what Angie says, that's just not the case."

The open friendly face, added to his travel fatigue and basic loneliness, tore at the carefully constructed guards that Michael had built around his emotions. "I don't know," he said sincerely, "it's just all that's happened in the last few years, coming home..." He let the thought trail off when he saw sympathy and pity on the man's expressive features. Oh shit. He knew. Well, of course he knew if Angie did. She never could keep a secret and would have happily told anyone who would listen about what happened to her brother 'over there,' never considering that he didn't want it to become common knowledge.

Michael turned away, wishing for the millionth time that he had chosen a different road to walk down when he graduated. But no, he wanted to see the world, earn his own money for college and, most importantly, escape from the man who was no longer in his mom's life anyway. He guiltily added 'escaping from an inevitable teen-aged marriage to someone he didn't love' to the list.

A soft "Hey," drew his attention and warm hand landed on his knee. "Whatever it is, it'll be all right. You're finally home. You can do whatever you want to now." The warmth and understanding appeared genuine, and he decided then and there that he liked Angie's latest flame. It was possible that Jay didn't know, maybe he was just guessing; not hard to do given the media coverage of late. Michael offered up a half-hearted smile.

Jay's eyes turned to the living room window and Michael followed his gaze, watching as a curtain fluttered. "We'd better get moving before someone comes out to see why we're just sitting here," Jay said as he started the engine.

"They'd do that?"

"You betcha! I'd like to think that we're a big happy family and they're all concerned." He leaned in and smiled conspiratorially as his hand left Michael's knee to shift the car into reverse. Backing the car out of the driveway he said, "But I happen to know they're just really, really nosy."

They just pulled from the driveway and stopped at the four-way sign when Michael's mouth opened and, "So, how long have you been dating Angie?" slipped out.

"Do what!?!?!" Jay looked dumbfounded.

Michael repeated, "How long have you been dating my sister?"

"Dude, you've got it all wrong!" Jay retorted. "What gave you the idea I was seeing Angie?"

"I don't know, just the way you two acted earlier. And I've gotta tell ya that she and Mom talk about you-a lot."

Jay regarded him thoughtfully for a moment then threw his head back and laughed. An impatient horn sounded behind them and Jay turned his attention back to his driving, still quietly chuckling.

Michael flinched at the unexpected reaction, wondering if he needed to defend his sister's honor.

Finally sobering Jay told him, "Think about what you just said. Now, think about how you Angie act when you're together. And don't lie to me; she's told me all about you."

Looking back on the incident in the living room, Michael recalled his own memories of his sister. His eyebrows arched as he suddenly understood. "She treats you like she treats me!" he exclaimed.

"Got it in one," Jay said with a chuckle. "She's a good friend. A very good friend, but that's it. Besides, she's not my type. I'm not into..." he paused mid-sentence and Michael wondered what he'd started to say. Finally he concluded with, "Redheads."

That statement and its vague delivery implied more than the words indicated. "So, you like blondes instead?" Michael ventured.

"Maybe," muttered Jay, intently focused on the road.

"I see." A strange sense hope began to bloom inside Michael that he couldn't quite explain. "Maybe that hot blonde that was sitting on the couch." He managed to smile somewhat convincingly as he spoke, developing an instant and intense dislike for Emmie or Amy or whatever the hell her name was.

"Depends on which one you meant," Jay replied.

Their eyes locked, silent communication flowing between them. "So..." Michael prodded.

Jay sighed, averting his eyes as he accelerated and turned right, heading north toward the old main street area of town. "Not the couch, the loveseat," he said quietly.

Michael's eyes widened as he recalled who'd been sitting where in the living room.

"Yeah, Terry," Jay confirmed. "Terry is my type, or was, rather. I found that, although I like blondes, I can do without self-righteous arrogance." The car pulled to a halt at the town's one and only traffic light and he turned to face Michael, "I'm gay; is that a problem for you?" His eyes returned to the road and remained there while they waited for the light to change.

'Oh hell no!' was rejected as a possible response before it had a chance to leave Michael's mouth. A simple "No," emerged instead.

The sigh of relief was unmistakable. "Good. And before you ask, yes, your sister knows," he added. "In fact, I think pretty much everyone does. I don't advertise it, but I've never tried to hide it, either."

The conversation faded as the light changed, but before the silence grew uncomfortable Jay said, "Knowing your mom and sister I didn't think you'd be a bigoted jerk about it, but you never know. I've met some pretty cool people in this town but I've also met some real assholes, ya know?"

Yes, Michael did know. He knew what people could be like, especially to gays, blacks, or Hispanics in this town, and the fact that Jay had two out of three covered meant that life could get ugly for him around the wrong folks.

That was precisely why Michael feared this bizarre attraction. Although he wasn't afraid of what people might say or do, he didn't need the aggravation of being on the receiving end of the ugliness that the jerks could send his, or his family's way. Still, he couldn't deny the relief he felt at finding out that, not only was Jay not Angie's boyfriend, but that they swung the same way.

Nothing could ever come of his wishful thinking, however, since he didn't intend to stick around. Recent occurrences had shaken up his life and he wasn't sure what was going to happen once things settled down again. Still, he needed hope that life could go on, and the loneliness lurking deep within recognized something it wanted in the darkly handsome Texan.

His mother had once told him that cravings were the body's way of telling you that it wasn't getting what it needed. Until now he'd only equated that with food, but he was beginning to see that it worked in other ways, as well. He was definitely craving something and, at the moment, it was sitting next to him firmly gripping the steering wheel.

But, damn it, he didn't want to feel attraction for another man. Sometimes he wished he could change that part of himself and find a nice girl, get married, and have a bunch of kids like he grew up believing he should. It would be so much easier. Michael sighed. He could wish all he wanted to and it wouldn't change a damned thing-he knew who and what he was, and there was no going back.

Jay remained quiet during his reverie, except for a soft melody that he was singing in Spanish. He had a pleasant singing voice and Michael found himself listening with rapt attention, wishing he knew the words to the mournful tune.

All too quickly the ride ended in front of the simply named, The Book Store, and they sat looking at each other for a moment, neither saying anything. Once again it was Jay who ended the awkward silence. "Wanna go out for pizza or something sometime?"

Caught off guard at the abrupt invitation he was just working up the nerve to make himself, Michael began to sputter.

Jay hung his head and looked away. "I wasn't asking you for a date," he murmured softly.

"Oh," Michael replied, surprised at how disappointed he sounded even to himself.

Suddenly, Jay brightened and looked up, winking. "Unless, of course, you want me to," he teased. In a more serious tone he added, "Look, I understand if you don't want to be seen with the Mexican queer. I know how folks are here."

Jay held up a hand to stop Michael denials. "It's okay. I know what they say behind my back; how I'm an illegal alien come to steal their jobs even though my family's been in this country longer than theirs." Those verbal attacks had cut him deeply, that much was obvious from his injured tone and sad, downcast eyes.

"I'm not ashamed of my heritage from either of my parents, but I'm just visiting here. I can't wait to leave, to be totally honest. But you? You have to live here and face these ignorant, narrow-minded morons. You've got a lot to lose. Your reputation would suffer for associating with me."

That provoked an immediate and heated response from Michael. "Look, dude, I don't really give a rat's ass what the people around here say about me except for Mom, Angie, and my grandparents."

Jay replied, "Yeah, well I've heard enough off old man Coffey down at the lumberyard not to want that inflicted on anyone else."

Michael knew from experience that Jay wasn't alone in his suffering from the words of the bitter, spiteful Herman Coffey, who seemed to want everyone else to be as miserable as he was. But his misery was brought on by his own actions; he had no one to blame but himself. That asshole was the last man on earth that should be judging anybody.

Though what he was about to do went against all he'd been taught by his compassionate mother, Michael placed a comradely hand on Jay's shoulder and said, "About old man Coffey..." A faint hint of spicy-scented cologne teased his nose as he leaned in to share a prime bit of small town gossip. "He's got three sons and only two of them with his wife."

Wide-eyed surprise replaced the pained expression one of the town's most embarrassing citizens had caused. "Yeah, and it gets better. His third son is with his wife's sister." With a wry smile Michael added, "There's no way he can deny it, either, 'cause the boy looks just like him."

"You're shitting me," Jay replied. "There's actually two women in this world who agreed to sleep with that horrible man?"

Michael raised two fingers and solemnly swore, "Scout's honor." His grin turned evil. "Seems the sister-in-law is spiteful, too; named the kid Herman, Jr."

"Oh my God! No she didn't!" Jay laughed.

"Yup, she sure did," said Michael. "So his wife left him and took the kids. Makes you wonder how he affords all that child support on what they pay him down at the lumberyard, don't it?"

He hadn't been raised to gossip and knew it wasn't right to do so; however, it also wasn't right for folks to say things that they shouldn't because of who Jay was. And the beautiful smile that replaced that dejected expression was worth a prayer or two for forgiveness, in his opinion.

Jay shook his head and laughed. "You probably know the dirt on everyone around here, don't you? Remind me not to piss you off. "

Michael's expression turned solemn. "I don't tell what I know because Mom raised me better than that. But she also raised me not to say hurtful things to people; folks that do are asking for what they get. I was raised to take up for those who were being picked on. I won't tolerate bullies," he said.

With a heavy sigh Jay confessed, "I couldn't use that stuff against him anyway. That would bring me down to his level."

It was rare to find someone with that kind of integrity and Michael was impressed. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who'd been raised to have a conscience. "You don't have to use it against him," he explained. "But tell me: knowing what you do about Herman, the next time he goes off on you, is it going to matter?"

Jay paused to consider those words, then replied, "Not so much. 'Cause I now know that no matter what he says to me he's got problems of his own-worse problems."

Michael was pleased with his response. "And that makes it easier not to take his words to heart, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose it does."

"Look, Jay. You're in college. Soon you'll graduate and go out into the world. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Hell, you've probably already been more places than old man Coffey ever will."

When he turned to look out the window Michael saw that the lights of the store were off and knew his mom was probably waiting, but he wanted to see Jay smile once more before they parted company. "In ten years you'll be long gone from here and Cookesville will be a distant memory and all these small-minded people will still be here doing the same thing, day in, day out. For them this is as good as life is gonna get. You have the world, Jay, and they know it. If they have anything against you it's that fact. They're jealous."

"So, what you're saying is they don't matter?"

Jay's hopeful expression tugged at Michael's heart until he was ready to confront Herman or anyone else that dared offer insult. "No, they don't matter. In fact, they deserve your pity, not your fear."

Suddenly that brilliant smile reappeared just like Michael had hoped. "You're a wise man, Michael Ritter, you know that?"

He could feel the blush rising at the unexpected compliment. "I just pay attention to what's going on." Deciding a change of subject was desperately needed, he asked, "So, now that we've established that I'm not worried about gossip, what say we get together for pizza some night? Umm...they do have decent pizza in this town, right?"

A more relaxed Jay replied, "Yeah, about four blocks down from here at The Pie Man. It's some pretty decent pizza, too. He gets a lot of business from the Zoo."

With absolutely no warning Jay's hand pushed into the pocket of his jeans, and he wriggled provocatively until it reemerged holding a cell phone. Caught off-guard by the unintentionally erotic display, Michael breathed a sigh of relief and discreetly adjusted the semi-hard he'd sprouted while wishing it was his own hand burrowing into the pocket of those 501's.

Intent on his phone's tiny keypad, Jay missed the effect his actions had on his passenger. "What's your number?" he asked.

Michael took the phone and began to program his number with one hand, handing Jay his phone with the other so he could do the same.

"Well, I guess I need to get in there before Mom comes out and drags me in."

White, even teeth flashed brightly against dark skin as Jay grinned. "You know, I can see her actually doing that, too."

"I wouldn't put a whole lot past Mom," he admitted, though her unpredictability was actually something he admired.

That earned him another laugh and a sexy little smile that left him needing to adjust his jeans again, but grateful that their ride wasn't ending on a sour note.

As Michael opened the car door he looked around apprehensively, judging how far it was from the car to the store, determined not to let Jay see how nervous he was. It was only a short way and, thankfully, traffic was light at this time of day, most shoppers having gone home for the evening. With a harsh exhale he exited the car and removed his bags from behind the seat. "Thanks for the ride, man; give me a day or two to get settled in and then call me. We can just hang out or something." He bumped his fist with Jay's in parting and then closed the car door firmly, turning to face his new home.

Thanks to Nina, Meg, Lynda, Jared, and Tinnean, for their help and encouragement.