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I'm over this After we got back from dinner, Kevyn had pulled into the little parking area next to my dorm. We'd sat and talked about little things for a bit and as a result, the windows had fogged up. That was fine with me, cause the more we talked, the more I wanted to do something more. I had been wanting to lose my virginity for a while now and definitely wanted to lose it before the end of my freshman year if possible. I knew for sure now that Kevyn was the one that I wanted to lose it with but I wasn't sure if the front seat of a Honda Civic was the place I wanted to lose it in. Maybe the back seat, in a pinch, but I guess I'm just an old romantic at heart. I'd really like the event to happen somewhere nice, somewhere soft, with candles all around, the right music playing, and all that mushy stuff. During the course of our talking we'd moved closer together. The car wasn't that big so we weren't that far apart to begin with, but we were definitely closer now than we were when we first started talking. Unfortunately we couldn't be sitting right next to each other unless one of us wanted to sit on the emergency brake. Both that and the stick shift were between the two front seats. But we'd managed to move pretty close to the edge of our seats, leaving not much room between us. We both seemed to be moving together, as though we both wanted the same thing -- a kiss. It was dark in the car and with the fogged up windows, not a lot of light was coming in. Granted this parking lot wasn't that well lit anyway, but some light was always available. As we moved closer I could feel my heart start to beat faster. And my cock, it was rock hard. Harder than I think it'd ever been. This was definitely right, definitely what I wanted. All those years growing up, wondering if I was really gay, if maybe I was just late blooming in liking girls was now a moot point. My racing heart and raging hard on proved that I was definitely gay. We'd moved even closer and I reached out my hand and put it behind Kevyn's neck, pulling him closer to me, pulling us towards what we both wanted, or at least what I wanted, a kiss. As I started to pull him near me all hell broke loose. We'd not even touched lips when he suddenly pulled away. I tried to ask him what was wrong, what was going on, but he was in a near panic. He pretty much kicked me out of his car. Here I was standing out in the middle of the parking lot, horny as hell, with an erection to beat all erections, watching my date pulling away as though he were being chased by the devil himself. Fortunately for me it was a Friday night, so the parking lot was empty of other people, cause I'm sure that my obvious erection would have been visible to everyone. It felt like my jeans were tenting out some three feet in front of my crotch. Of course, I'm not that big, but that's what it felt like. I could feel the tears start to fall down my cheeks as I saw the tail lights of his car fade away. What the hell had just happened? Did I move too fast? Did I try to force him to do something? I just wanted a kiss, my first kiss from a guy and it seemed like he wanted it too. We were both moving toward each other. It's not like I was moving toward him and he was staying where he was or moving away. We both seemed to be enjoying each other's company over dinner and the trip there and back. Of course, this was my first date ever, so I could have been misreading the signs. But even with the minimal amount of light in the interior of the car, I had thought I had seen tenting in the front of Kevyn's jeans as well. My tears stopped as I started to get angry -- angry with Kevyn for kicking me out of his car without an explanation and for taking off and angry with myself as well. Maybe I'd moved too fast, tried to go too far. Yeah, it was our first date, but all we were going to do was kiss. Sure, I wanted to lose my virginity and I definitely liked Kevyn. I could see him being my first, but not on our first date. I was horny and maybe somewhat desperate, but I wasn't that desperate. And remember, I'm still an old romantic at heart anyhow. My erection still hadn't gone down and I didn't think it would. I was too aroused by what had happened, by the date, by going out with a guy-- especially a guy as really good-looking as Kevyn was. I knew that if I didn't end up playing with it, my hard on would probably last all night. I took my coat off and carried it in front of my crotch, trying to hide my obvious predicament and headed over to the door. Getting my key card out of my pocket proved to be an interesting experience. My hands are rather big and it's tough getting my hands into my pockets when I'm not hard, but with my cock so stiff, it was even tougher. I so wanted to just stroke it and relieve the pressure but I couldn't -- not there, not then. Finally, I managed to get my key card out of my pocket and let myself into the dorm building. I passed the RA who was sitting behind the front desk and I'm sure my condition was rather obvious --walking in from the cold outside with my jacket in front of my crotch instead of on my body. He gave me a knowing smile as I passed. I took the elevator up to my floor cause I was pretty sure it would be difficult to walk up four flights of stairs in that state. I finally made it to my dorm room. I prayed that my roommate wasn't in so I could just take care of this and when I opened the door, I was rewarded with an empty room. At least something was going my way that night. I shut the door behind me, making sure it was locked. Not moving any further into the room, I threw my coat onto the back of my chair and pulled my shirt and sweatshirt over my head in one pull. I unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them down my legs. My lone pair of Calvin's were tented out from my body to the point that the waistband wasn't even touching my skin. I'd bought them at the beginning of the year wanting at least one nice pair of underwear for situations when I might be undressing with that special someone. I didn't want to have on my usual no-name discount store bought undies. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband and pulled them over my erection and down to puddle at my feet with my jeans. My cock was standing straight out from my body now, the weight of it at full mast the only thing keeping it from slapping against my body. I put my right hand on my cock and was rewarded with a double-barreled shock that ran through my body. My hand felt cold to my cock, and my cock felt very hot to my hand, almost as if it were on fire. My left hand slid down to caress my balls and I discovered that they already pulled up into my body. Whether it was from the cold or the fact that I was so horny, I wasn't sure. I felt ready to explode and two strokes were all it took before the feeling of pure ecstasy took over my body. I felt my knees go weak as shot after shot of cum erupted from my rigid cock. The first four shots hit the wall that my bed was against, some eight feet from where I was standing. The next few hit the comforter on my bed and the last few just kind of dribbled out of my still hard organ and landed on the clothes at my feet. I struggled a little to remain standing after such an earth shaking climax. Normally after I shoot a load, my cock gets very sensitive and I have to stop, but tonight was different. Maybe my horniness overrode the sensitivity, or maybe it was because I had shot off so quickly that I'd not been touching my cock long enough for it to get sensitive. For whatever reason, the need was still there and I continued to stroke and my cock didn't go down at all. I was rewarded for my continued ministrations and my balls pulled back up into my body and the tingling feeling returned. I'd just started to shoot again when I heard a key being inserted into the dorm door behind me. In a panic, I quickly tried to pull up my underwear and pants as the key was turned. My cock was still dribbling cum as I pulled my clothes up. "Whoa, sorry bro," I heard my roommate say as I pulled my pants up over my ass. I hadn't gotten a chance to clean up from the cum nor had I really finished shooting when I had pulled my pants up and I could feel the wetness spreading inside my Calvin's. I'd kept my back to the door and was kinda afraid to turn around now, just in case the wet stain was seeping through to my jeans -- not that my roommate couldn't figure out what was going on. "Do you want me to come back later?" I reached forward and grabbed my sweatshirt from the bed and placed it in front of my crotch before I turned around. Keith was standing in the doorway, door only partially open, key still in the lock, awaiting my answer. "Nah, it's ok. I'm finished anyway." He opened the door further and came in. He shut the door and threw his keys on his desk. "Why didn't you put the rubber band on the door? I wouldn't have opened the door had I seen that." "Sorry, I didn't even think of it. It all happened so quickly," I replied. I could feel my cheeks turning red as he came further into the room. I'd never been caught beating off at home, although my brother Justyn almost caught me one time. I could see his eyes spying the now drying cum on my comforter and the wall. He smiled that knowing smile, like the RA at the entrance. I kicked my shoes off and turned away from him. I dropped my jeans and grabbed my towel and my toiletries bag. I left my underwear on, but wrapped the towel around my waist. I used my free hand to keep the towel off the front of my cum-stained underwear. I headed toward the door. "I'm gonna grab a shower," I said as I opened the door. I heard him chuckle and call out as I shut the door behind me. "Make sure it's a cold one!" Since it was late on a Friday night, the men's shower area was deserted for which I was grateful. I didn't really feel like having to explain my wet underwear to anyone else. Trying to explain it to Keith without letting on the fact that I'm gay was going to be hard enough. I grabbed a shower near the end of the row and turned on the water and let it heat up before I stepped in. I took my towel off and then my underwear and hung the undies on the hook under the towel. I stepped under the warm spray and just stood there letting the water wash over my body. As I stood there, I thought back to the events earlier in the evening, trying to figure out what, if anything, I had done wrong to make Kevyn act the way he did. I replayed all the conversations and tried to remember all his actions, trying to pick up any clues. I couldn't think of anything that made me think that I'd done anything wrong or that I had misread any signs. Of course, neither of us had been on a date with a guy, and he did say he had dated a girl in high school. Maybe he's still uncomfortable about being gay and maybe I did move too fast. But it was just a simple kiss. I didn't try to grope him or anything like that. My thinking of the events of the earlier evening was having the same affect on my crotch as before. I was rock hard again even though I'd just shot two loads some ten minutes earlier. I tried to ignore it as I washed my hair and started to wash my body, but it wouldn't go down. And when I washed my pubic area and my balls with the soap, my cock got harder and tingled. I've jerked off three times in one day before, who hasn't? Hell, I've even done it five times in one day, but never in such a short period of time. Usually it was in the morning when I got up, in the afternoon when I got home from school, and before bed. On the weekends, if I were home alone, I'd do it in the late morning and early afternoon as well. I finished soaping up and washing off before I turned my attention to my hard cock. I put some shampoo in my hand and started to stroke, feeling the liquid as it allowed my hand to travel up and down the shaft. Oh yeah, I'm definitely gay. I might have tried to kid myself when I was in high school that I was bisexual or that I was going through a phase, but the fact that I was jerking off again, ten minutes after I had jerked off last, and that was the second time in a ten minute period while thinking about a guy I'd gone out on a date with left no doubt. I was definitely a gay boy. I continued to stroke, going slowly, trying to make the feelings last this time. The last two were just to release pent up pressure and get some relief. This was definitely for enjoyment. I was enjoying the feeling of the shampoo on my cock and the feelings my hand gave my body as I slid it up and down the thick shaft. I built myself up to the point of eruption several times and then backed off before I finally gave in and gave it the extra couple of strokes needed to finish the job. As with the first time tonight my knees buckled but this time I gave into it and slid down the shower wall in a heap to the floor as the cum shot out of my body. I sat in a daze on the shower floor for a few minutes, not really thinking or doing much other than watching my cum being washed down the drain. After sitting on the floor for a bit I got up and rinsed off my hand and crotch again and shut off the water. I grabbed my towel and dried myself off as much as I could and wrapped it around my waist before I retrieved my briefs and headed back to my dorm room and the inevitable questions I was sure to face from my decidedly straight roommate. "There he is," Keith commented as I walked back into the room. He was on his bed, a book on his chest. "The great stroker." "Ha, ha, very funny," I replied. I was tempted to throw my cum soaked Calvin's at him but thought better of it. I tossed them into my laundry bag and proceeded to get dressed. "Let me guess, your date got you all worked up and then left you high and dry?" I froze as I was pulling a shirt out of my dresser. Did he see me and Kevyn? Did he know about me? "What do you mean?" "You know, she egged you on and got you all horny and then wouldn't give you the release you needed." I pulled the shirt on over my head and turned around to face him. "What makes you think that?" I grabbed my accounting book off my desk and walked over to my bed. "It was kind of obvious by the fact I came in to find you pulling your jeans up after you obviously had been polishing the bishop. And then you quickly left to take a shower and you left your underwear on. You've never been that modest about getting changed when I'm around." Fuck. Thoughts were running through my head a mile a minute. What should I do now? How could I get out of this one? I couldn't tell him that I was jerking off cause I had been out on a date with a guy and we were about to kiss when he took off and left me high and dry with the biggest stiffy of my young life. I'd never heard him say anything bad about gays, but then again, I'd never heard him say anything good about them either. Who knew how he'd react and since we had another week of school and then all of next semester to live together, I'd rather not have him find out at that moment, before I knew how he was going to react. Yeah, I could defend myself, since I'd been taking karate for the last few months, but I'd rather not have to. Keith's a good guy and we seem to get along well, but I didn't want to risk it. I guessed I'd have to be careful in what I said. "Yeah, ok, you found me out." "Woo hoo!" He jumped up from the bed, knocking the book that was on his chest to the floor. He reached over and clasped me on the back in a congratulator manner. "Way to go bro! I was beginning to wonder about you." I grinned at his obvious excitement of my having a date. "Hey, I'm not a date slut like you. I like to take my time and find someone worth dating." At that comment he put his hands over his heart. "Oh you wound me bro. I can't help if all the ladies want to date the Keithmeister." The Keithmeister? "Who is she anyway? Do I know her?" "Nah, they go to a different school," I lied. "You wouldn't know 'em." "How'd you meet?" He asked picking his book up off the floor and climbing back on his bed. "Karate class." "That's cool. Maybe I should take Karate." "Oh come on, I'm sure there's still a few girls on campus that haven't had a chance to date 'The Keithmeister'. Why deny them that opportunity?" He put his hand on his chin and rubbed it as though he was thinking about what I had just said. "You know, you are right." "Of course I'm right." I grabbed my economics textbook and plopped down on the bed. I opened it to the first chapter we had covered back at the beginning of September and started to review. The room got quiet as we both went back to our respective books and studied for our forthcoming finals. We had another week of classes then the week of finals, and while I was taking five classes that semester, I was lucky in that I only had three classes giving finals and only one per day. Even though I didn't have final exams in two classes, I still had to do rather large projects for them. I would be done with school by Wednesday afternoon and then I'd be free for Christmas break. Unlike most schools that had a month or more, we only had two weeks. We had such a small break cause of the work-study program that the school did. With half the students, except freshmen, out working each semester, we switched back and forth for classes and as a result only had a small winter break and no summer break. We were either working or in school. I spent most of the weekend studying and working on the final projects. Or at least that was my plan. I think I spent as much time thinking about Kevyn and our date Friday night as I did studying for my econ, math and English finals and working on the projects. I'd be reading a chapter in econ, trying to remember what we'd learned when we'd covered it in class and then I'd start thinking about Kevyn. Of course as soon as I thought about him, my dick would get hard. It wasn't too bad if I was alone in my room, cause I could play with it then. And sometimes I did. I'd take a masturbation break and relieve the pressure. But other times, when either I wasn't alone or was studying at the library, I couldn't exactly do that. I'd have to adjust it as discretely as I could and then excuse myself and go to the bathroom. The worst was when I was working with my group on the projects. I couldn't exactly excuse myself to go play with myself every hour. Economics was my weakest class so that's where I spent most of my study time. I studied some for my other two tests, math and English. We managed to finish the final projects and get them delivered to the professors on the last day of classes. The tests came and went and I felt that I had done pretty well on them. I knew I did well on the math and English tests, and I was pretty happy with the econ final, but I wouldn't know for another week or so when we got the report cards. With my last final over on Wednesday I was done until just after the first of the year as far as classes went. I wasn't looking forward to going home, for the most part, but it would be good to see my brothers. As long as they were around, I wouldn't have to worry about the asshole getting on my case about my being gay. I could always stay at Marc's if things got really bad, but we'd not talked much since school started so I wasn't sure I'd feel comfortable about doing that. I supposed I could always come back here. The dorms were kept open during break since some students still had to work during part of their break from classes. I packed up most of my stuff and put it in my car and started my trip back home. The roads were rather empty on the way home, so I didn't have to worry about traffic, and made pretty good time. There weren't any cars in the driveway when I got home so I didn't have to worry about the old man bothering me. I brought my stuff in from the car and went up to my room. The room was pretty much the way I had left it at Thanksgiving time, which was the same way I had left it when I left for school. I'd removed all of my personal stuff on the walls, cleaned up all the other personal effects I had in the room. I'd bought a couple of plastic storage containers and put all those in storage in the attic. I didn't think the old man would do anything with them if they were up there out of the way. My room wasn't huge, none of the rooms in the house were. My room was actually the smallest, since it was just me. The twins had a bigger room since they had twice as much stuff and the parents had the biggest room and that also had it's own bathroom. My room was just a basic room, probably ten feet square with a closet on the wall it shared with the twins' room. Their closet was on the same wall, just on the other side. The room was still the light blue color I had painted it back in high school. The floor was hardwood, and while it was still in pretty good shape, it was showing it's age. It could use a good sanding and refinishing. I wasn't going to bother though, cause I wouldn't be living there anymore after college, and I just had the strange feeling that I wouldn't be seeing the room again after Christmas break. The wall opposite the closet had my bed, a twin size one that I'd had since sixth grade when the other bed I had, a hand-me down from the old man when he was younger, finally collapsed. The bed was neat and already made. Mom must have come in and set it up. I'd left the sheets in the hall hamper when I left at the end of Thanksgiving break. The wall that the room shared with the hall had my desk on it. It wasn't anything fancy, just a small desk with enough room for a computer and a writing area. A small bookcase, empty as the desk was, sat next to it. I put the stuff I'd brought in down on the floor in front of the closet and stretched. It was a long drive and I was glad to be finished with it, even if I was at home. I looked at my watch. It was a little after three. Dad wouldn't be home from work for another couple of hours and the twins were probably still at school with some after school activity. I wasn't sure where mom was, since she didn't work. I supposed she was out shopping for groceries or getting her hair done or something. I tried to stifle a yawn as it happened but didn't have much luck. All of a sudden I was feeling rather wiped out from the moving and the drive so I decided to lie down on the bed. I kicked off my boots and stretched out, as much as I could, on the bed and closed my eyes. The next thing I knew, someone was shaking me awake. I opened my eyes to discover Jayson standing over me. "Come on bro, wake up. Dinner's ready." He moved back as I sat up. "Dinner? What time is it?" "It's a little after 6. Hurry up. You know how the old man hates to be kept waiting for dinner." "I'll be down in a minute. Don't bother to wait. Don't want you to get yelled at too." Jayson smiled at me and left my room. I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I tried to remember what I had been dreaming about. It must have been something good cause I was sporting a woody. I hoped it would go down before I got all the way downstairs. I got out of bed and grabbed a sweatshirt and threw it on. It was a little cool in the house plus the length would help to hide my cock. As I pulled the sweatshirt out of my duffle bag I started to remember parts of what I was dreaming about. I had been dreaming about the date with Kevyn, but this time he didn't pull away and take off when I leaned in to kiss him. This time he kissed me back. We were kissing in his Civic then all of a sudden we were in a candle lit bedroom with a big bed with rose petals all over the place. That's when Jayson woke me up. I can only wonder now how far that dream would have gone if I hadn't been woken by my little brother. I came down a couple of minutes later and sat down at the table with my back to the windows, facing my twin brothers, Jayson and Justyn. They were both seventeen, seniors in high school and both had applied to a lot of the same schools. Dad just glared at me as I sat down but didn't say anything. I knew he wouldn't. It wouldn't matter how late I was to dinner, he'd still not say anything. He couldn't stand talking to me these days, not since I had come out to him and mom last spring. If we weren't alone, he wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know if my brothers had noticed this little quirk or not, cause they'd never said anything to me, but I also didn't get to spend a lot of time with them. They were always busy with their girlfriends or their after school activities or working. Jayson and I were a lot closer as brothers than Justyn and I were. I don't know why it turned out that way. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Jayson is older than Justyn. Yeah, it's only a few minutes, but still he was older. Although I have a feeling it's probably cause Jayson's a jock like I am, whereas Justyn's the academic type. He'd always been more of a bookworm than either Jayson or I. You could definitely tell just by looking at their bedroom which twin slept where. One half of the room was all bookcases, crammed with books; the other half had sports posters plastered all over the walls. Dinner was a subdued affair. Mom and dad didn't say a lot to me or to anyone for that matter. The twins did most of the talking. They asked me a few questions about school but not a lot. Mercifully dinner was short and thirty minutes later I was back in my room and away from the old man. He'd finished dinner as usual and got up and left the table and went into the living room and sat in his chair in front of the TV. It was his nightly routine. He'd down a couple of beers while watching TV. It didn't matter what was on; he'd watch it. I briefly thought about calling Marc and seeing if he was around but decided against it. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with him either. Yeah, he was my best friend, or had been while we were growing up and he had said that it didn't matter that I was gay, but things weren't the same anymore. He became more guarded with what he said, with what he did. Growing up he'd never had an issue with us changing in the same room, even before we had gone on to play ball together and changed in the locker rooms. Maybe it was because he was the youngest of seven brothers and he'd always had a brother or two in the same room. There wasn't room for modesty, especially when you're sharing a room with other guys! The last time I had done a sleepover at Marc's house after I'd come out, it became obvious he didn't have that same comfort level with me anymore. Conversation just didn't flow right. It was like he didn't know what to say to me now that I was out. And that night, instead of stripping down to his boxers when we got ready for bed as usual, he'd put on a pair of sweats while he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and didn't take them off when he went to bed, even though it had been a warm summer night. The next morning, he'd been obviously embarrassed about his morning wood - something that we had always either just ignored or teased each other about in the past. His obvious discomfort that night had made me feel uncomfortable as well. It was something he'd have to get over and I wasn't sure he had. Since I was still somewhat wiped from the finals and the drive home, I definitely wasn't up to dealing with whatever drama might come up with him if I went over there. Instead, I grabbed my laptop and did some web surfing before I went to bed. The next couple of days were pretty much the same. I'd get up in the morning around ten, after the twins were in school and the old man had left for work. Mom pretty much ignored me, didn't say much of anything to me. I'd get breakfast, take a shower and go hang out downtown. I'd run into a couple of friends from high school. They were polite, but I could tell that they'd found out about me. I probably had Marc to thank for that. I already knew he wasn't as comfortable with the idea as he had said he was. He must have shared the news about me and what ever his real feelings were with some of our friends. I had the feeling that we weren't best friends anymore and possibly not even friends at all. I always knew that losing him as a friend was possible, but I couldn't stand lying anymore about who I was. I didn't want to end up another teen suicide statistic, and I had a feeling that had I not come out that I would have been very depressed and would have ended up killing myself. I shuddered at the thought that I could have possibly gotten to that point. I hated the fact that my parents didn't accept me for who I am, but I was glad nonetheless that I had told them. I had to be honest with myself. If they couldn't accept that fact then fuck'em. I didn't need them anyway. It's not like they were helping me pay for school. If it weren't for my scholarship I wouldn't even be in college. I wish I could tell my brothers, cause I knew they'd be more accepting. Especially Jayson. He and I are pretty tight and I knew that he'd be cool with me being gay. Justyn probably would be too, but he was still somewhat of a question mark. He might be fine with it, and then again, he might be like the old man and be a total asshole about it. Christmas was on a Sunday that year, and the twins finished up school for winter break that Friday. They both worked Saturday until the stores closed at six. We had our usual family dinner for Christmas Eve and then the twins left to go visit with their girlfriends. I didn't know who Jayson was dating, he seemed to be dating a different girl every week; at least it was that way last year. Justyn on the other hand was still dating the girl he had started dating last year. I couldn't remember her name, but she seemed nice enough. She was somewhat butch, but they seemed good together and he seemed happy. I guess that's what's important. Everything was going fine until I decided to go downstairs and get something to drink. It was Christmas Eve and the old man was still plopped down in his chair watching TV. It didn't matter what day it was, that's what he did after dinner. I'd just come down the stairs and rounded the corner to head into the kitchen when I heard him mutter "faggot". I had to walk by the living room in order to get to and from the upstairs. I just ignored him and continued on to the kitchen. Mom was in the kitchen as usual working on getting everything ready for the Christmas meal we were having the next day. As usual she didn't say anything to me. I got a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with water from the sink and headed back down the hall to go back up stairs. "Fucking faggot" was uttered again from the asshole in the living room. I'd had enough of this shit from him. I put my glass down on the table near the stairs and walked into the living room and stood in front of him, blocking his access to the TV. He didn't look up at me. "You talking to me, Father?" I continued to stand in front of him. "Good for nothing cock sucking faggot," he said, still not bothering to look at me. "If you're going to insult me, the least you could do is give me the courtesy of looking at me." He didn't budge. Just continued to insult me. "Yeah, father, I am a faggot, and you know why? You know whose fault it is? YOURS. That's right, it's yours." That at least got his attention. He stopped his mutterings and looked at me. "That's right, Father," I continued, the sarcasm dripping from my lips as I called him father. "I've spent a lot of time looking in books, looking on the web, reading about being gay, and you know what? It's a gene that's passed on from the father. So it's all your fault, DAD." I'd done some research on web, but I'd not come across that piece of information, but he didn't need to know that. Hell, he doesn't even know what the web was; let alone how to use it. The man can't even use a calculator, let alone turn on a computer. I just said it to get his goat. And considering the look he was giving me, I think I got him. He just sat there and stared at me for a few minutes. His mouth finally moved a few minutes later and I couldn't make out what he said. "What was that?" I asked him. "Get out of my house. NOW." He repeated himself. He said it quite loudly, I'm sure the neighbors on either side of us could hear him. "Don't you bother to come back, I don't want your faggoty ass in this house again. GET OUT!" I left. I turned and headed back to my bedroom. I hadn't bothered to unpack much of my stuff, not wanting to forget anything if something like this happened. I guess the question was what was I going to do now? I took my bags and took them out to my car. It took a couple of trips and I got derogatory comments from the asshole every time I passed by the doorway to the living room. As I grabbed my last bag I took a look around my former room. It didn't even look like mine any more. Other than the furniture that was in the room, there was no other sign that I had ever lived there. Any and all personal effects were removed months ago. They were in storage in the attic. I figured I'd have to come back at some time in the future for them, but not now. Not until I was sure where I was going to end up. I couldn't very well put them in the dorms. The dorms. I guess that's where I was going to end up. I didn't have anywhere else to go. Marc wasn't around. His family never was for Christmas. They always left to go his grandparents' place in Florida the day before Christmas Eve. He had invited me to go one year, when we were younger, eight or nine I think but Dad wouldn't hear of it. They were willing to pay for my ticket and everything, but he wouldn't let me go. "Family belongs together at Christmas," he said. So much for that notion. Guess that only includes those family members who are straight. I put the last of my stuff in my car and started it up. While it warmed up I scraped the windows free of the frost they had accumulated since the sun went down. After a few minutes the windows were clean and the car was somewhat warmed up. I took one last look at the house, a place I had called home for the first 18 years of my life but no longer. Then I got in my car and drove off into the night. I couldn't think of anywhere else to go so I headed back to school. Yeah, I had another week or so until classes started again, but where else was I going to go? It was after midnight when I arrived back at school. It was now Christmas day and my parents had disowned me. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to my brothers. I wondered what excuse the asshole came up with to explain my disappearance anyway? I pulled into the parking lot next to my dorm and discovered I was the only car there. I knew they said that the dorms would be open on campus over break. I'm sure they had said it. I grabbed my bag of clothes and the bag with my laptop and headed toward the door. I got to the door and tried my key card and nothing happened. The door didn't unlock. In fact the lobby was dark. FUCK! I thought they said the dorms would be open? What the fuck was I going to do now? After the initial confrontation with my dad, I had been kind of numb while I had packed the car and had driven here. A little sad, but sort of prepared as I had known it would happen some time. But this, this I wasn't prepared for and it hit me hard. I grabbed my bags and headed back to my car. It was cold out and I was starting to get rather chilled. I put my bags back in my car and started it up, trying to get some warmth out of it. As the heater started to pump the warm air into the passenger compartment I thought back to the last time I was sitting in a car in this parking lot. It was just over a week ago. Kevyn and I had gone to dinner. Kevyn! I'd not thought about him as an option when I had been considering what to do. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. Please tell me I was smart enough to put his number into my cell phone. I pulled up the list of numbers in my phone book and scrolled through them. Damn! I didn't have his number in there. Wait, it might not be in my phone book but it might be in my call log. I moved over to that list and was rewarded with his number at the top of the list. "I hope he's home; I hope his phone is on," I thought as I hit the call button. One ring. Two rings. My heart was beating a little fast now. My mouth was a little dry. The phone was answered after the second ring with a very groggy "Hello?" "Kevyn?" I asked hopefully. I knew it was his place, but I didn't know if he had a roommate or not. "Yeah, who is this?" The voice was a little more alert. "It's Bastian. I'm sorry for calling so late, but I've got no place to go." I tried not to sound desperate but I was. It was cold, I was freezing and I had no place to go, no one who wanted me on Christmas Eve. I just hoped that he was willing to let me crash there. |