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If you want to I looked up at the clock for the umpteenth time in the last half hour. The minute hand had only moved another two minutes. I was two minutes closer to leaving for my date. My date! I still can't believe that he finally agreed to go out with me. I was like a giddy school girl. You'd think that I wouldn't be so nervous. But I am. Not just because this is like my first date with Kevyn, but it's my first date with a guy. I still can't believe that he asked me to go to dinner. I'd just about given up hope. Every week when we were done with our Karate class I asked him for coffee and he turned me down. I don't know why I kept asking. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. Of course, I still can't believe I actually asked him. I'm usually a wimp when it comes to stuff like this. But when he first walked into that Karate studio, I just knew that I had to at least get to know him, even if he wasn't like me. Of course if he wasn't like me I was inviting rejection, scorn, ridicule and possibly physical violence. Granted, just because he asked me to dinner doesn't mean that we're going steady. He could still reject me. I got up off the bed and headed over to the mirror hanging on the back of the door. I checked my appearance again. Everything still fine. My shirt looks fine, my pants look fine, my hair looks fine. I look fine. Not exciting, not dazzling, just fine. I run my hand through my hair again, even though it looks fine. I guess I am really nervous. I cross back to my side of the dorm room and hit play on my cd player. The sounds of Sophie B. Hawkins came out of the speakers. I've been playing this song a lot since Kevyn invited me to dinner. Yeah, the gender is wrong, but just do a substitution and you'll be all set. I start to sing as the words came up. That old dog has chained you up alright I checked the clock again as the song ended. It was just about time to leave. I shut the CD player off and grabbed my keys off my desk. I put my coat on and snatched my Boston Red Sox ballcap off of the back of the chair. I locked the door behind me and headed off to the parking lot to meet up with Kevyn. I pulled my jacket tighter around me as I stepped outside. The air was very cold and it smelled like snow. The weather forecaster said something about a chance of snow overnight, and it definitely felt and smelled like it. I joined in a group of other students that were heading away from the dorms and going toward the school. There weren't too many for a Friday night. We walked as a group toward the crosswalk. The cars whizzed by while we waited for the signal to cross. Finally the lights turned red and the little guy appeared on the crosswalk signal. The mass moved across the street and dispersed as we hit the entrance to the quad. To look at the group of students from above you'd think we were pool balls and had been hit by a cue ball. Some of the students continued down the sidewalk on the left, some went straight into the quad and further dispersed there and a couple of us, including me, continued up the side walk on the right. I walked past one of the gyms on campus. Not a gym like the one I belong to. Just a gymnasium where they play basketball and other indoor games. I turned left a the next street and the others that had been walking with me continued up the street. The gym stayed on my left and the right side of the street had some of the older buildings on campus. The ones without elevators and air conditioning. They housed the English department and the math department. This street didn't go anywhere, it just dead ended in a parking lot and a couple of newer buildings on campus. The parking lot I wanted was at the end, of course, and was used by the faculty so it should be empty by this time on Friday night. Classes ended at 1pm on Fridays and the campus parking lots, especially those used by the commuting students were usually empty by 1:05. I looked at my watch as I got to the entrance to the parking lot where I was meeting my date. My date! I've got a date! My first date with a guy. I still can't believe it. The butterflies in my stomach were still there and I found myself thinking that he was going to reject me, not want to go out with me, not like me. As I walked into the lot, checked my watch again, not having actually looked at it a few seconds before. It was about ten minutes till six. I was early. What else is new? I'm usually early for everything. So I guess I'll wait. There were a couple of cars in the lot and one not to far from the entrance I came in. The driver's door opened as I went to lean on the post near the entrance. "Bastian?" the figure called out. "Kevyn?" "Yeah." "Hey, you're early." I started to walk toward the car. "So are you." "Old habits die hard I guess." "Yeah, me too. Get in." He started up the car as I walked around to the passenger's side. The car was still warm and felt good after the walk over. I buckled up my seat belt as Kevyn put the car into first and pulled out the parking spot. He headed back to the main road that divided the campus from the housing and turned back toward the way I had come from. "You still interested in Italian?" "Sounds good." "Great. It'll take us a little bit to get there." I nodded my head in response and a silence enveloped the car. The only sounds were those of the tires on the frozen asphalt surface, the air moving past the car and the fan pumping out warm air from the engine compartment. I continued to stare out the front window the car as we left the confines of the city and headed west. The clouds were broken out this way and the moon lit up the sparse ground giving an erie quality to the night time. We'd been driving along for about twenty minutes when Kevyn spoke again. "We should be there in a few minutes." "Ok, that's great." "Sorry about not saying much during the ride. I'm kinda nervous." I turned to look at him. He quickly looked at me and then turned his attention back to the road. "That's ok. I'm nervous too. I've never done this before." "Me either. I mean, I've gone out on dates before, but only with girls. But it was for cover, you know?" "Yeah, I can understand what you're saying. But when I say I've never done this before, I'm not kidding. I've never done this before, at all. Ever." "Ever? Not even with a girl?" "No, not even with a girl." But this point we've entered a small town and were driving by the campus of another college. We continued past the college and headed toward downtown. Kevyn made a couple of turns on various streets and finally pulled into a parking lot next to a three story brick building. The lights were pouring out of the store front on the bottom of the building and a couple of the windows on the second floor were lit as well. Kevyn shut the engine off after pulling into a parking space and unbuckled his seat belt. "We're here." "What is this place?" I asked as I undid my seat belt and got out of the car. "The best Italian place I've found since I moved away from home." "How did you find this place?" "During one of my business electives freshman year, an upperclassmen was telling his buddy about this place. He was raving on and on about it. Don't know how he found out about it though. I'd been craving really good Italian for a while, especially after having been to the North End of Boston. You want really authentic Italian food outside of Italy there is no better place than the North End. So anyway, Cyrus and I decided to try it out." "Who's Cyrus?" "A friend of mine from freshman year. We are in the same major. We had some classes together and we were sorta friends, more like study buddies. But after we ran into each other at the meeting, we became pretty close friends." "Wow. And you guys never dated?" "Nah, we're just friends. It was one or two of the meetings later that Cy met Josh and they've been together ever since. They're like my best friends out here. The first time we came here, we fell in love with the place. The best Italian I've had since home." I was just about to ask him where home was when we reached the door to the restaurant and he opened it causing a bell to ding. I looked over the door as I started through it. A faded and peeling sign said "Granny J's". Interesting name for a place. We stepped inside and heard the bell ding again as the door closed behind us. I looked around at the restaurant while we waited to be seated. The room was some twenty feet wide by thirty feet long. The walls were either painted a pale beige color or had murals painted on them depicting some Italian country scenes. The place was well lit, but not so much as to blind the patrons. There were booths along three of the four walls and various sized tables in the middle of the room. There were a few other patrons in the place. "Well, as I live and wheeze," a voice said from behind us. We both turned around and faced a rather short woman who couldn't have been more than four feet tall and probably just as wide. Her steel grey hair was pulled back off of her face and neck and left in a tight bun in the middle of the top of her head. "It's about damn time you came to visit Granny J!" Kevyn looked at her a little sheepishly and kneeled in front of her and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry Granny J, I've been busy with school and work and all." She returned the hug and then punched him in the arm when she released him. "Too busy my ass! You make the time to see Granny J!" She then turned to face me. "And who is this handsome gentleman you brought with you?" Kevyn turned to me. "Granny J, this is Bastian. Bastian this is Granny J. She owns the place." I put out my hand to shake hers. "I'd hope so, with my name over the door! Handshake my ass, sonny! You come down here and give Granny J a hug!" I pulled my hand back and bent down and got enveloped in a rib crushing hug. "Any friend of Kevyn's is a grandson of mine!" She let me go and walked around us and headed into the restaurant. Kevyn turned and followed her and I followed him. Unfortunately the coat he was wearing was long enough that it covered his ass. Oh well. Hopefully this will be the first of many dates and I'll get to see him from behind again. She stopped at a booth in the corner and deposited a couple of menus on the table. "I'll send Charlie out with some bread and water." "Thanks Granny J," Kevyn replied sitting down in one of the booths. "Yeah, thanks," I said as she started walking away. We'd barely gotten settled when this young kid, probably thirteen or so appeared at the table with a couple of glasses of water and a basket of bread. "Hey Kevyn." "Oh hey Charlie. How's it going?" "Pretty good. How about you?" "It's going well. How's school going?" "Better. I made the basketball team." "You did? That's great! Oh before I forget, Charlie, this is my friend Bastian. Bastian, this is Charlie, Granny J's great nephew." Charlie and I shook hands. "Well, I better get back in the kitchen. You know how Granny J gets if I'm out here too long. See you later." "See ya kiddo." And with that he left us alone. I grabbed my glass of water while Kevyn grabbed a piece of bread from the basket that the kid dropped off. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, probably both afraid of speaking first and messing up. I leaned back in the booth and the rim of my ball cap hit the back of the booth before my head did causing it to push forward and become uncomfortable. I grabbed it in irritation and turned it around so the brim was facing the front. Kevyn looked up while I was doing this and all of a sudden his eyes went wide. "The Red Sox? Are you from Boston too?" My hands reached back up and grabbed my hat. "Nah, I'm from around here, I just happen to love the Red Sox. They're my favorite team." I grabbed a piece of bread and when Kevyn didn't say anything more I added, "I gather you're from Boston then?" "Well, I'm from Massachusetts. I grew up in the suburbs, about a half hour west of the city. But the Red Sox are my favorite team. Who's your favorite player?" "Of all time or now?" I grabbed my knife and spread some butter on my bread. "Both." I finished chewing the piece of bread I had bitten off before I answered. "Well," I started as I swallowed. "My favorite player of all time has got to be Yaz. But for current team, it's gotta be Nomar." "Oh yeah, Nomar is my favorite too. He's so cute." "Yeah, he's a hottie alright. So you play baseball then?" "Who me? No, I just like watching it. I have like zero athletic ability." "You do pretty good at Karate." "Practice, lots of practice. So you play?" "Yeah, I've been playing since I was a little kid. In fact, I'm here on a scholarship." "Really? That's cool. What position do you play?" "I play short stop and second base. I used to pitch when I was younger but I much prefer being a little further out in the infield." "That's great. My best friend played soccer and baseball growing up. He was really good. He still is in fact." "My best friend wasn't into athletics much. He was more of an academic type, but he used to come watch me play." "Yeah, I used to go watch Jeff play too." Just then Granny J showed back up and deposited a couple more drinks on the table. "Ok boys, you know what you want?" Oh yeah, I know what I want, I thought. And he's sitting across the table from me. Kevyn spoke up first. "I'll have the chicken parm with spaghetti." "I'll have the chicken picata with ziti." She just nodded and smiled and left the table. "So what made you decide to go to school all the way out here. There are some pretty good schools in Boston." "Yeah, I know but this one was rated the highest for the business program that I wanted. Besides, I really wanted to get away from home." "I hear you on that one. Your parents give you a hard time when you told them?" "Well, my mom cried, but that's not unusual. My father, well my father didn't say much. He and I have never really seen eye to eye. He's a ‘Man's Man'. He's big into the fishing, hunting and the sports. What about your folks? You far from home here?" "It's a couple three hours away. Just enough to be too far for a quick visit but not too far if I want to go home. But as for my parents, we're not really getting along these days. Ever since I came out to them back in the spring." "They took it bad huh?" "Let's just say they were less than receptive to the notion. My father pretty much called me every name in the book and a few I didn't know. It was very uncomfortable around my house after that. I spent as much time away from home as I could." "Wow." "Yeah. It really sucked. I stayed with my best friend a good amount of the time, but even that was getting uncomfortable. I had already been working one job and I took a second job so I could keep as busy as possible and not have to spend a lot of time at home when I wasn't at Marc's. I tried to get it so I was home after my folks went to bed and gone before they got up in the morning. Most of the time it worked out, sometimes it didn't. If it was just me and my father at home he'd not give me a moment's peace. If anyone else was at home, my mother, my brothers, he wouldn't say anything, but if it was just us." "So you have brothers huh? Younger or older?" "Younger. Two of them. They're twins actually. Justyn and Jayson." "Did you tell them?" "No, I wanted to but my father forbade it. He didn't want me to tell them incase it is contagious or some bullshit like that. Yeah, like they can catch this from me. It's not a friggin' cold!" "So you didn't tell them huh?" "No, he said if I did, he'd call the cops and have me arrested for child molestation." "WHAT?" "Yeah. If I told them he'd tell the cops that I was sexually abusing my brothers. And in this state, it wouldn't matter that I hadn't been. Just the feelings from someone thinking that I might be would be enough to throw me into jail for the rest of my life, if not lynched by a mob. Especially in the small town I grew up in." "That sucks. How old are your brothers? Really young?" "No, they're about year younger than me. They'll be eighteen in February." "Christ, and your father actually thinks that they won't speak up and defend you?" "I'm sure they would, but my father wouldn't allow it. He runs a pretty tight house. Besides, it wouldn't matter. Even if they did manage to stay I hadn't done anything, the damage would be done. So what else could I do? I didn't say anything." "Do you think they suspect?" "Nah, I doubt it. Besides, they're both pretty busy with school and their girlfriends. Jayson plays football and Justyn is pretty involved with his academics and a few extra curricular activities." "Do yo think you'll ever tell them?" "I'd like to think that eventually I'll tell them, but probably not until they're out of school and on their own." "How do you think they'll take it?" I didn't answer right away. I thought back to growing up with my brothers and nothing that I could remember gave any indication either way. "Honestly, I don't know. I'd like to think they'd be ok with it. I am their brother after all, but who knows. I've not heard either one of them say anything bad about gays, at least when I've been around but I've never heard them say anything good about them either. I'm a lot closer to Jayson then I am Justyn so I'd think I'd have that working for me. If I had to hedge my bets, I'd say that Jayson would be more accepting that Justyn would. But that day is a long way off." I grab another piece of bread. "What about you? Do you have any siblings? Have you come out to your parents?" Kevyn didn't say anything for a couple of seconds and he looked about ready to answer my questions when Granny J and Charlie showed up with our dinner. |