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"'Cause you're everywhere to me I get back to my dorm room after classes. The first day back to school after a long weekend, especially Thanksgiving weekend is tough. It was nice having four days off. Although I could think of better ways to spend it then at home. It was great to see my little brothers but the parental units, that's another story. I close the door behind me and drop my backpack on the bed. My roommate isn't back yet from classes so I've got some time to myself. I turn on my computer and get dressed into my sweats as it goes through it's power on cycle. Finally the system asks me for my username and password and I'm logged into the university net. I boot up my instant messenger and my email client. As my email starts to download my buddy list appears. Several of my classmates are online already. I'm just about to start scrolling down the list when a window pops up to the front. It's my online friend Bailey. We've never met in person but we bumped into each other in an IRC chat a few months back and became good friends. Besides my friends at home, he's the only one who knows I'm gay. I don't have to worry about him telling my roommate or classmates though. He lives on the west coast. "So, how was your turkey day?" "Oh, it was exciting as I expected. The only thing colder than the weather was the reception my parents gave me. I don't think I'll be going home for holidays anymore." "Oh Bas, I'm sorry to hear that." "It's ok man, really it is. I'm tough, I can take it. Besides, with my brothers there, it was hard for my father to say anything derogatory to me anyway without them finding out." "Did you see any of your other friends? Was Marc around?" "I saw a couple of them but it wasn't the same. Even the ones I didn't tell, it seemed like that they knew." "That sucks. I've been lucky. My mom's been really supportive. She's even gone so far as to attend a couple of PFLAG meetings." "Wow, you are lucky. How'd your date go?" "It was ok." "Just ok?" "Yeah, no sparks or nothing. The guy was kinda cute and all but he was rather self centered and also somewhat militant. He's out and he doesn't care who knows it. I wouldn't be surprised if he became like those crazed peta people and did all sorts of things to get his point across. I'm not like that." "Jeeze. That's amazing. So it's back to the dating pool, huh?" "Yeah. What about you? Have you asked him yet?" "I've asked him if he wants to go for coffee after our karate lessons but so far he's turned me down." "That's sucks. Maybe he is straight. Or maybe he doesn't like coffee. *Laugh*" "I'd lean toward the str8. I've seen him come in with a coffee cup from the local donut shop." "Oh well, maybe someday. What about the meeting? Have you gone yet?" "I'm thinking about it. The next one is this Thursday." "What is there to think about? Just go." "But what if there is someone there from one of my classes?" "Yeah so?" "I don't feel like going through what I went through with the friends at home, here." "Hello, Earth to Bastian." "What?" "If they're there, more than likely they're in the same family as you, dude." "Oh yeah. Sorry, had a brain fart I guess." "That's ok. It happens to the best of us. But seriously you should go. Maybe you'll get nothing more than a few friends out of it that are going through the same thing you are. Or maybe you'll get yourself a boyfriend." "Yeah, maybe. I'll think about it." "As Yoda says, no think, do." "Ok, ok, I'll go." "Speaking of going, I better go too. Mom'll be home soon and I should get some of my homework done." "Ok, take care bud." "You too Bas. Good luck with Kevin. And go!" "I will. Buh bye." He types a single "bye" and signs off. I close his window and think about the meeting. On the one hand I should go. It would be nice to at least know there are others out there like me. Yeah, I know I'm not the only gay guy on the face of the earth, but sometimes it seems like I'm the only one going to this school. But on the other hand, what if someone from one of my classes sees me going to this meeting? Can I handle the ridicule? And the possible gay-bashings? I'm strong, that's for sure, but I'm not big into violence. I'll defend myself if I have to, but anything more than two on one and I'd probably be a gonner. I spend the next couple of hours surfing around the net looking for information on different clubs and other gay stuff before I shut it off and get some homework done. * * * The next couple of days move along a little faster and finally Thursday evening arrives. Once again after Karate practice I asked Kevyn if he wanted to go for coffee afterward and he turned me down. Maybe I should just give up. It's obvious that he's straight. I'm not the best looking guy out there, I know but I've been told by more than one girl that I'm cute. Not that it would get me interested in them, but if the girls think I'm cute, there's gotta be some guys that think I'm cute too. The meeting is at 7 over in Stetson hall. That's the building that holds the student government offices. It must be in one of the meeting rooms up there. I've been in the building for registration and stuff but other than that, I don't go over there. It's on the far side of campus, of course. Keith is at his biology lab, so he's gone till after 10. I'm so glad I don't have to take biology. It's bad enough having classes after 2 pm, but until 10pm? That's just wrong. I grab my university sweatshirt and the ball cap from my favorite baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, and put it on backwards. I'm just in one of those backwards ballcap wearing moods tonight. I grab my keys and head out the door. Ok, I've got forty-five minutes until the meeting. It'll probably take me fifteen to twenty to walk over there unless I really drag my ass. The air's a little nippy so I'm glad I brought my sweatshirt. The dorms are located across the street from the campus. The street is pretty busy so it's always fun to try to cross. They've got a traffic light and a crosswalk but sometimes you think the cars aren't going to stop even though they've got a red light. I join the crowd of students waiting to cross. You'd think the university would put in a tunnel under the street from the dorms so the students wouldn't have to wait for the light and traffic wouldn't have to stop, but they haven't. Oh well, nobody ever said that bureaucracy was intelligent. Finally after what seems like two lifetimes the lights turn red and we get our walk signal. The crowd of students crosses the street, like a big amoeba or something. We enter the quad and the mass starts to break apart. So much for cohesion. I break apart from group and head off to the right. The student government building is over near some of the other faculty offices as well. I cut though a small park area between some classroom buildings and finally reach the student government building. There are a couple of other students around. I can't tell if they're going to the meeting or just over here for other reasons. My walking slows as I get nearer to the building and my stomach starts to churn more. I'm still very nervous about going. Maybe I'll just go back to the dorms. No, I've got to go. I need know that there are others at the school like me. I enter the building behind a couple of girls who look like they are going to the meeting. One has got almost every inch of her ears and mouth pierced and other one has screaming blue hair. Yeah, it's probably a generalization or a stereotype to assume they're dykes, but I bet I'm right. As you enter the lobby of the building you're presented with a couple of classrooms on either side and a hallway at the end of the lobby heading left or right. The flyer said the meeting was in room 408, so that's upstairs. The girls don't slow down and head down the hall on the right side and head for the stairs located at the end of the hall. I follow them and climb behind them all the way to the fourth floor. We come out into the hallway, that looks almost identical to the one on the first floor, except for the fact that there are classrooms where the lobby is. They walk down the hall a short ways before going through a door on their right. I get down to where they turned and the number on the wall beside the door says 408. Yup, I was right. I enter the room not sure of what to expect and I stop. There are probably 25 people in the room, some of them who look "gay", if you were to follow stereo types and other that I would never have picked out in a million years. A couple of the people in the room turn to look at me as I enter and I can see a few of the guys give me the once over with their eyes. I suddenly feel like I'm on display. I quickly move off to the right and try to find an empty space. I move over to the wall and find an empty table to sit at. I sit down and look at the room. Most of the people in the room are busy talking to each other. "Bastian?" Oh shit. I whip around upon hearing my name to face the figure standing about two feet from me. It's a guy from my macroeconomics class. "Tony?" He looks at the table beside me. "Anyone sitting here?" I look over to where he's indicating. "No, go right ahead." He drops his bookbag on the floor in front of the table and then he takes his jacket off and puts it on the table and sits on it. "Thanks. I thought I wasn't going to know anyone here. I almost didn't come." "Me either." "So this is your first meeting too?" I look down at my feet dangling off the edge of the table. "Yeah. I've been thinking about coming for a while, but I kept chickening out." "Yeah me too. I just finally decided I needed to come. I told my roommate I was going to the library to study." "Mine's got a late lab tonight, so I should be back before he even gets done." "You're lucky." "I guess. Never really thought about it like that." "I do. All the time. I make sure I don't give anything away. I don't know how my roommate might react but from what little I've heard him on the subject of gays, I don't think he'd be too supportive." "I don't know how mine would react either. I'd like to think he was cool with it, but you can never tell." "No you can't." Tony looks like he's about to ask me something else when a banging sound interrupts all the conversations. The myriad of conversations quickly die down and all heads turn toward the front of the room. The guy and girl standing at the front of the room have got to be the poster children for what heterosexuals think of gay people. Everything about them screamed "I"M GAY!". Looking around the room most of the guys and girls in the room would be thought of as straight. Nothing about them immediately jumps out at you and says otherwise, but these two, they're another story. "Thank you," he says, with a lispy voice. "Welcome to the GLSA. For those of you who don't know me, shame on you! And for those of you, why haven't you called? I'm Emmitt and this is Melanie. We're your hosts for this wonderful year. I see a few new faces and cute ones I might add. Unfortunately our planned speaker for this evening had a family emergency and couldn't make it. I didn't find out about it until about an hour ago otherwise we would have just rescheduled this meeting. So I'll just offer this instead. Hang out and chat or you can go and we'll meet again in February since the university is closed for the month of January for winter break." And with that the meeting ended. A few of the people started talking to one another and a few of them left. Tony turned to look at me. "I guess I'll head over to the library then and get some studying done. You need to go?" "Nah, I'm good for tonight. All my books are back in my dorm and I'm pretty well caught up. I'll catch you in class tomorrow." He stands up and grabs his jacket. "Ok. I'll talk to you later Bastian. Nice to see you." He extends his hand and I shake his. I watch him leave and get ready to go myself. A lot more of the people in the room are getting ready to leave. I get off the table and turn to head out the door and bump into a body. "I'm sorry," I say. "It's my fault, I was in your way," the other figure says turning around. "I should have..." Oh my god, it's him! "Kevyn?" |