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"The problem is all inside your head…"

"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" - Paul Simon

Gaelen and I stayed at Star's for the night, but I don't think anyone got much sleep. Even with my inner hearing turned off, my ears picked up Roca's rants against Suria and Racho's calm responses, as well as Lana and the former Mari's discussions on how they might handle school and mutual friends in light of the changes, interspersed with occasional bouts of tears. But, other than Vai's getting up around 3 a.m. to feed baby Vrai, I heard nothing from Star and Vai.

I assumed that Star felt as I did about confronting Suria. How could he feel otherwise? She had tested the kids up one side and down the other, and she had to know their true makeup. Why didn't she say something? Maybe Lecurela insisted on their party line that medians don't exist in their "perfect" creations' bloodlines, and Suria had just acted on orders to enforce that belief. Even if that was the case, I couldn't hold her blameless. The kids' lives were not ruined, I'd see to that, but even so they'd all undergone a needless shock.

In the dark and relative quiet, I filled Gaelen in on a few more details about Suria, especially what I knew of the children she kept with her. "Five more kids?" she asked. "Four of them probably of Star's blood, and neither you or Star get to see them?" Gaelen's outrage only reinforced what I felt. It made me wonder why I'd always let Star talk me out of a confrontation with Suria about the children, as well as so many other things.

Well, this time Star wouldn't change my mind.

* * *

Morning finally came, and I couldn't believe it when I heard Star suggest we drive his car into town instead of jumping. Knowing Gaelen was behind me, I won that argument, so we only took a few minutes to reassure the kids and Vai and were ready to leave by 8 a.m.

Before we jumped, I put a hand on Star's chest and looked him in the eye. I'd been wondering this all night and wanted to know the truth before we talked to Suria.

"Star, did you tell Suria about me being median?"

He managed to look hurt and reluctant at the same time. "I told you I would not, and I did not tell her." He faced me squarely. "I swear it."

I nodded. "Thank you." I didn't see how it would matter if Lecurela knew that I finally understood who I was and why, but I was glad Star had honored my wishes and kept it secret. "I know you tell her everything," I granted, "and I'm sure it was difficult to hold that back."

His eyes looked troubled. "I'm certain you're misjudging Suria. She promised to explain everything when we see her today."

It was all I could do not to scream. "You talked to her? Since last night?"

"Yes, I called her, as I do every evening, and I mentioned that Racho and Mari were upset by your discovery. She wanted me to bring the children along today, but we finally agreed that it might be best to allow them a day or two to calm down." His black eyes regarded me, puzzled at my expression.

Gaelen and I exchanged a glance. "Forget about it. Let's just go," she said.

I swallowed my suddenly heightened anxiety. "Gaelen, don't you think it would be better if you stay here with Vai and the kids? We're just going to talk to Suria. We'll be back soon," I pleaded.

Her dark eyes were two chips of flint. "I'm going with you."

I said no more. I hoped she understood how much I wanted her with me, how much having her support meant to me, but a cold lump of foreboding had formed around my heart. I kissed her quickly, she linked her arm with mine, and I grabbed Star's hand. We jumped.

* * *

The heavy wooden double doors that guarded Suria's building stood ajar. I could hear no sound from inside, only the noise of traffic on nearby Sixth Avenue. Other than the open door, the house seemed as it always had, nestled in its landscape of hedges and towering elms. The lot was large, taking up perhaps a quarter of the block, with heavy plantings insulating the house from its closest neighbors. Since it was morning, and most folk in this primarily residential area had gone to work, no one was out to note our sudden appearance.

Star made to walk up the steps, but I held him back with a hand on his sleeve and we three walked up together.

Just inside the foyer was a pile of dirt. The large fern and the smashed earthenware pot that had contained it lay nearby. Going first, I stepped around the mess, noting pictures askew on the walls and a pervasive stench that was unpleasantly chemical. Star gave me wide eyes, and again I had to hold him back while I turned to Gaelen. "I don't know what we'll find farther inside, but I have a very bad feeling. I'm begging you; wait for us here, okay?"

She frowned but nodded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "We'll just have a quick look around and be right back."

Gaelen grabbed my face in both her hands and kissed me, hard. "You better be," she said.

I tried to smile, but I was wishing I'd followed my instincts and come here last night… alone. Gaelen was growing a little stronger every day as the changes in her body continued, but she was still vulnerable, and a look at Star's eyes made me feel that he was much more of a problem than a help. Still, there was nothing for it but to leave or go ahead.

Glancing once more at Gaelen, now picking up the damaged plant and looking around for a safe place to put it, I took Star's arm and walked farther into the house.

The computer in Star's office was in small sharp pieces on the floor. The chairs were overturned, and papers torn from the filing cabinets lay everywhere like printed snow. The blade of a bone-handled bowie knife had been thrust into the desk, only an inch of bright metal sticking out from the wood at right angles. Star was trembling now, and I felt that I was not so much restraining him as holding him up. Together, we left the ruin of his office and crept down the hall leading to the central corridor and the sunroom. Every room we passed held similar devastation: splintered furniture, smashed computers, broken bottles from which rose the cloying scents of formaldehyde and ammonia mixed with other, less familiar odors. I realized I was holding my breath.

The conservatory was a tragic mess of ruined greenery, bright flowers and leaves so torn and trampled that they were impossible to identify. Shards of glass from broken skylights overhead held the red-brown stains of drying blood. I could feel my heart beating in my throat.

I glanced at Star, and there was nothing but bewilderment in his eyes. He blinked at me. "Where is she?"

I shook my head. "No one seems to be here. I'm going to check the living quarters; can you go back and stay with Gaelen?" The children were strong in my mind. I sent my attention out before me but could detect no signs of life in the rooms ahead.

Star pulled away. "No, I have to find her."

His words made no sense to me. Of all the things I wanted to do at that moment, finding Suria was the least of them. What in hell was wrong with him? He was unsteady and still trembling, eyes so vacant he might have been in a trance.

"On second thought, I've seen enough," I said. "Come on, we're getting out of here." He pushed me away, but I roughly grabbed his arm, shaking him a little in the process. "I'm not leaving you here."

I kept pulling, and we'd made it almost back to the entrance when I heard a laugh. At least, I suppose that's what it was, but no sane person ever made that sound. The noise of it grated my nerves raw and filled my gut with ice.

I turned, and there, in the corridor ahead, was Ravin, his clothing torn, hair standing up in blood-streaked clumps, one arm around Gaelen's neck while the other held a gleaming scalpel poised over her belly.

The wild laugh came again. "You won't find Suria here-she's gone," he said, in a voice like broken glass. "She's gone and left me behind, and it's all your fault."