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"In a world of tears I slowly drown…"

"Tragedy" - Bee Gees

For what seemed a long while, Star didn't say anything. Looking back, a lot of things had to be going through his mind, but at the time I was focused on that one fact alone. How could none of us have known about Racho? If he was really median, why did he look male?

His relationship with Andrea made perfect sense now. She wasn't his girlfriend in the usual sense; Earth girl or not, she was his bond-mate. Like the youngsters on Muir, these two had chosen each other as the first link in the mating process for a people with three sexes. I'd worried about where the kids would find mates; now it seemed that Racho had worked part of that out for himself - unconsciously, of course.

I kept coming back to why we hadn't known. It should have been completely obvious that Racho was median from the moment of his birth. And… who had presided over that birth? Who had blithely informed Star that he had twin sons?

Suria.

Somehow she had to have implanted a command into Racho's infant mind at birth, or even before, the same sort of command that had been implanted in me - that he should look male when he was really median.

But why? What was the point of him looking male, and why keep it a secret? There was nothing wrong with being median, at least not in light of our mixed heritage. It was only Lecurela that wanted such things swept under the rug, Lecurela who would have executed me rather than let it be known they had created a ruler who did not fit into their perfect mold - the image they had sold their people for thousands of years. Without Star's intuitive leap to look at my DNA, I would never have known what had made me as I was, never known my real heritage and identity.

But Racho wasn't a potential Lecurelan ruler. Why keep all of us in the dark about who he was? Why let him grow up believing he was male?

What was Suria's motive?

I felt like I'd been lost in thought forever, but Gaelen's arm was still around me and Star hadn't moved. His eyes were blank now, his vision turned inward. Finally, he sighed and looked at me. "We'd best call everyone together." Resignation and a kind of defeat were in his voice.

* * *

The four kids were solemnly lined up in front of the couch. Star and Vai had sat down next to Gaelen and me. When the kids were assembled, I told them.

Racho's only comment was, "Are you sure?" So I took his hand again and led him inside himself so he could also see what I had seen. When we were done, he just nodded, as though he might have suspected the truth all along, then calmly sat down to wait. Of the four kids, Racho had always been the most practical.

"Me next," Roca said, thrusting his hand at me, a scowl on his face. I took it. I didn't need to touch to see inside someone; it was just easier. This time I reached first for his mind and let him see what I did. The outward truth was real; Roca was male. He drew his hand back quickly, and I could see his mouth working as he looked at Racho, still his sibling but his brother no longer. Roca was angry, and I didn't blame him.

Lana came closer to me, staring into my eyes before reluctantly offering her hand. I tried to touch her mind and lead her with me, but she pulled back from that. "You do it," she said, "I don't want to see." After a moment, I let go and smiled at her. Lana was female. She blinked rapidly and went to stand next to Vai.

It was hard to look at Mari. I guessed I hadn't been there for her as much as I should have, but I loved her beyond words. She was part me and part Star, created out of our love for each other. I almost knew the truth before I touched her, but I looked to be sure.

She was median.

She must have seen it in my eyes, because she pulled away before I could speak. "I hate it," she said tightly, "I hate it!" Vai reached out a hand, and Lana tried to hug her, but she would let no one touch her.

"It doesn't matter," Vai said, "we all love both you and Racho as we always have, nothing's changed."

"Nothing's changed?" Mari spat. "That's easy for you to say, Mother. I've spent my whole life being a girl, and now I don't know what to be! Everything has changed! I'm not me anymore, and I fucking hate it!" I had never heard Mari swear before.

She ran from us, and a door slammed down the hall. Lana pulled away from her mother, stood alone with fists clenched and all but screamed at us, "I don't have a sister anymore!" Then she ran too, and as the back door slammed I knew she was headed out to the horse barn. Gaelen gave me a look and got up to follow her.

Star looked utterly stricken. I felt much the same, but I was angry too, and that kept me moving. Baby Vrai was checked, but he was truly male, and soon Vai took him back to his crib. I followed her down the hall and stopped outside the room shared by Mari and Lana. The door was closed, and I knocked.

"Mari?"

"Just go away!"

"Mari," I said again, pain welling up as tears in my eyes. "Please let me in."

None of the kids were trained in using their powers, but the door crashed open, hard enough that the handle knocked a hole in the plaster of the wall, and I knew she had done it with her mind. The room was very feminine, with twin beds dressed in flowered comforters and lacy curtains at the windows. Mari lay clutching a stuffed plush cat to her chest, eyes closed, long pale hair in tangles on the ruffled pillow. "What am I going to do?" she said softly. "I don't know how to be anything but what I've always been." Her gray eyes opened and looked into mine. "Can you help me?"

I sat beside her, and suddenly her arms came up and wrapped around my neck. I pulled her thin body gently onto my lap and held her tight. "I can help you look as you should have looked," I said. "Do you want that?"

She pushed hair out of her eyes with a fist and nodded. "Yes. I need to know who I am now."

I entered her mind carefully, leading her into her own genetics, showing her how to find what was real and right. She closed her eyes and let go, and I felt her body change in my arms, growing wider here, narrower there, her legs elongating until the jeans she wore crept halfway up her calves. Then "she" was no longer the right pronoun, and I held a median's body on my lap, the shape much like that of a boy of fourteen instead of a girl. She… he swallowed hard. "Is that it?" His voice was lower, and he flinched when he heard it.

"Yes," I said. "Do you want to look in a mirror?"

He shook his head, long silky hair sliding against my face. "Just tell me-do I look hideous?" His voice broke on the last word, and I pushed him back enough to look into his eyes.

The planes of his face were firmer now, but his lips were full and his lashes long. He looked more male than female, but his body and face were still beautiful. "You look different, but you're very handsome," I said. "How do you feel?"

Gingerly, he pulled away and stood up, swaying a little at first. "I'm taller."

I nodded, pointing at the too-short jeans that were now loose around his hips. A blue tank top, printed with a pink pony, stretched tight over a broader chest. Cautiously, he walked to the mirror and stood there, tugging at the ill-fitting clothes. Finally he turned to face me. "I'm going to need a new wardrobe." And the faintest trace of a smile was on his mouth.

I nodded. "And maybe a new name."

He squeezed his eyes shut and came to sit beside me on the bed. "I don't know if I can do this. You could help me stay the way I've always been, couldn't you?'

"Of course, if that's what you want."

"But then I'd always know, wouldn't I, and I'd always wonder…." He looked up at me. "Do you like being a median?"

I smiled. "I like it well enough. It's just what I am."

He nodded. "You're right about the name. I can't be Mari anymore." He held my eyes, so serious. "Why do you think Suria let us think we were something else, all these years?"

"I don't know, honey," I said, "but we're going to find out."

He stood up, kicked off the jeans, and pulled on some elastic shorts, frowning and then shrugging at the pink bikini underwear he still wore, and then headed outside to look for Lana. They might not be sisters now, but I had a feeling they would continue to be close.

Vai was waiting for me. She took hold of my arm and stared into my eyes. "Did you do this?" she asked.

"Do what?"

"Change them."

"What? Why would I do that?" I was already angry, and Vai wasn't helping.

"So they'd be… like you."

I took a deep breath. "Vai, I can't show you what I've seen in Mari and Racho's DNA, but it's there, and I didn't put it there. Why would I want to change them now, when they're at an age when none of us know who we are? It's not like I've had an easy time figuring myself out."

"But now you have Gaelen," she said, as though that explained everything.

"Yes, I have someone, and you have Star. Vai, I'd never hurt the kids in any way. I think you know me better than that."

She frowned. "Then why couldn't you have just left things as they were?"

I sighed. "Vai, I've never trusted Suria. I want to know why she kept this a secret. Don't you?"

She looked away. "I suppose it would have come out eventually."

I shook my head and walked back to the great room.

Racho's body didn't change much at all when I helped him, at least not where you could see. He gulped a little when he felt one change, and I could see he wanted to reach for his crotch. "You'll get used to it," I promised him. Roca snorted, and I gave him a quelling look.

"Besides," I added, "you can always change back if you want."

Racho's eyes got big, and he exchanged glances with Roca. "We don't know how to change our bodies."

I shook my head and looked at Star, but he didn't meet my eyes. "I'll teach you," I said.

"All of us, or just the medians?" Roca challenged.

I stared into his eyes. "All of you," I said.

He nodded. "Okay then."

* * *

After a while, Gaelen came back in with Lana and her new median sibling, the children's arms around each other. "I'm sorry," Lana said. "I'm still mad, but I'm not mad at any of you."

Vai looked bleak, but not as bleak as Star. Gaelen grabbed my hand and drew me into the kitchen. "What the hell?" she said.

"You don't know Suria as I do, thank God, but it's obvious that she kept the children's real natures secret, for reasons I can't imagine. We'll have to confront her about it. Star and I will talk to her in the morning."

I'd wanted to storm in on Suria tonight, at once, but Star said it was better to wait. I didn't see it-she lived at her office, after all-but I let it go. A few more hours wouldn't matter.

"I'm going with you," Gaelen said, and from the look in her eyes I knew it would be impossible to argue.