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"You're the one I want to go through time with…"

"Time in a Bottle" - Jim Croce

Perhaps you can imagine how I felt. Star certainly could, even from 1500 miles away. I walked away from her door and sat down at the top of the staircase, unable to make it any farther, and it was only a few moments before I felt his presence inside my head.

[What's wrong, Evan,] he said, his mental voice quiet and caring.

[Gaelen,] I said. [She's pregnant with my children - twins, Star, and she hates me. I asked her to marry me. Can you imagine me asking a woman to marry me? But I did and she never answered and now she's told me that it's over between us. She doesn't even want to see me again. How can I take that? I can't leave her, Star. I love her!]

[Breathe, Evan,] he said. [I will take a look at her and try to see what is happening.]

I didn't know quite what he meant by that, but I knew he wanted to help, so I just waited. It was only a few seconds later that he spoke to me again.

[Gaelen is changing, Evan. Her body is different than when you were here. I think that her system is processing the energy she drew from you. It is transforming each individual cell, and her entire body is changing because of it.]

[Is it harming her? Maybe I can find a way to counteract it somehow.] I felt desperate and guilty, and knew I would do anything to help the woman I loved.

[No, Evan, it is not doing her harm. Her cells are becoming stronger. They follow an ancient pattern embedded in her DNA. The potential for the change lay dormant in her until activated by the large amounts of energy she received from you.]

[Will it harm the babies?]

I could feel Star's smile. [They are your babies too, Evan. They will accept the changes and benefit from them.]

I sighed. [What should I do, Star?]

[Alas, I cannot tell you that, my dear. Be patient, and she may change her mind. She is terribly confused and afraid right now. That may pass, and she may be able to see things more clearly.]

What else could I do? I thanked him and went downstairs to talk to Grace.

He wasn't surprised. Gaelen had already called down and told him she'd be back the next day.

Since I was no longer welcome with Gaelen, Grace accepted me as a guest in his home, as he had many times in the past, but all I could do was lay next to him, glad for the warmth of his presence in the dark.

* * *

She did come to work at two the next afternoon, as usual. As far as anyone knew, she hadn't left her apartment all day. The glow I had noted around her was faint in the lights of the bar, but it was still there.

She was so beautiful it twisted something inside me, and I couldn't stand seeing her and not talking to her. I waited for a lull and moved toward the bar. I think she would have avoided me, but I was careful to come in between her and the door.

"I'm sorry, Gaelen," I said softly. "I never meant to hurt you in any way. I thought you wanted me too, and it always seemed that your body somehow triggered the energy transfers between us."

She took a deep breath. "Look, I know it's not your fault. All you did was offer yourself to me. You actually asked if you could make love to me, and I was the one who said yes. I made every decision myself, and it wasn't out of ignorance. I knew there was something different about you from the very beginning, from the moment you asked me to dance, for Christ's sake. It didn't take a genius to figure out you weren't human. None of that stopped me from wanting or having you. It's all my fault, and I know it, okay?"

"I don't understand why you call it a fault. What can be so wrong that you don't want to be with me any more? I asked you to marry me, and you never even answered me. I want to be with you, Gaelen, more than I've ever wanted anything."

"You want an answer? Okay, the answer is no, I won't marry you. I won't marry you, and I won't have sex with you again. So fuck off, okay? It's over."

I didn't try to talk to her again after that.

* * *

I thought about going back to my home in Denver. I thought about how good it would be to see Star and the kids. But she had been there with me, in the little cabin on the hill, and now wherever I went I would see her smile and hear her sweet voice calling my name. Besides, I couldn't leave her. When it was possible, I watched her from a distance, hoping she didn't see me looking.

All my friends at the bar seemed to know something had happened, but they didn't ask, for which I was grateful. They tried to be cheerful around me, Grace especially, but my life had become a dreary, dull routine. The joy I had felt had now become defeat.

I tried to help out around the place, sweeping up and bussing tables. I didn't have the heart to sing, as I usually did. I'd offered Grace money for my room and the little food I ate, but he wouldn't have it. Friends didn't pay for hospitality, he said.

I knew things couldn't go on this way forever. Whatever my feelings, I would have to give up eventually. Finally I told Grace I guessed it was time I went home. I was surprised when I realized he was looking at me like he'd found a rat in his flour bin.

"What?" I said, too depressed to really care.

"You're going to leave her here? Go on your merry way when she's carrying your child? I thought better of you than that, Evan."

"She told you?" I'd thought she didn't want anyone to know.

"Yeah, we're friends. She asked if having a kid would matter to her job, if she could stay here after it was born. Of course I said it was all right, but if it's your kid too, and I don't see how it could be anyone else's, then you should help her, you should be responsible."

I looked away from him. "I know, Grace. I asked her to marry me, and… she said no."

"You asked her to…?"

I nodded.

"Well, why the hell won't she?"

I scrubbed at my face, then ran both hands into my hair. "I don't know, Grace! She won't talk to me about it. She just keeps saying no. What more can I do?"

He shook his head. "I didn't know you'd asked her. Tell you what, I'll try and talk to her. In the meantime… woo her."

"What?"

"Woo her, court her. Do what you do best and sing to her. For God's sake, don't tell me you don't know any love songs!"

For a moment I just stood there, and then something clicked into place. Perhaps there was hope after all. I grabbed a startled Grace and hugged him.

* * *

It felt so good to be doing something positive. On weekends I sang with the house band, the X-Kaliburs. During the week I just soloed, using the sound system when needed for backup, like karaoke. I started slowly with tunes like Carly Simon's "You've Got a Friend" and the Fascination Waltz. Some things I sang were sad, like Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle," but somewhere along the line my mood lifted, and my choice of material showed it.

Maybe it was the singing itself, which I'd always enjoyed, or maybe it was Gaelen paying attention. Because I could tell she was paying attention, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

Of course, I looked at her when I sang, at least part, or maybe most of the time. Sometimes there were romantic couples in the bar, of one persuasion or another, and I'd aim the song their way, like I always had in the past. But I always included one long look at Gaelen… and people started to notice. I could see heads turn, and whispers were not far behind.

Sometimes I got requests. When a woman asked for "Somewhere in the Night," I knew I'd found one of "our" songs. But I knew I was really back on track when I belted out lively, happy tunes like "She's Just My Style" and "Pocket Full of Miracles."

Now when I looked at Gaelen, I was certain she was blushing.

Grace got into the act too. I don't know what he said to Gaelen in private, but at least once a night he'd jump up on the stage next to me and grab the mike: "And the next song goes out to our lovely bartender from her not-so-secret admirer. Let's hear it for Evan, and an extra big round of applause for the little lady behind the bar!"

I don't know what Gaelen thought about those dedications, but I know she'd have killed anyone but Grace for the "little lady" part.

This went on for the better part of two weeks, and I really wasn't that surprised when one night I saw her standing in the door of Grace's office in the back, motioning for me to join her. She stepped back at my approach, but I kept my distance and didn't try to touch her.

"Look," she said, looking exasperated beyond all reason, "you've got to stop this singing crap. People are starting to stare. Some even come over to the bar and ask me what's going on, like it's any of their damn business!"

"You don't like my singing?" I asked, in as hurt a tone as I could manage. But I didn't feel hurt. Something had turned around, and for the better this time, I could feel it.

She sighed. "Yeah, I like your singing. I just don't want you aiming it at me all the time."

"When you wouldn't talk with me, I had to do something. Singing seemed better than stalking." I smiled innocently.

"Well, I can't tell that there's much difference. Why do you have to keep at it? Why can't you just let go? I'm no good for you; I'm no good for anyone."

"Don't I get a vote on that?"

She looked at me, and I could feel her wanting to reach out, and holding herself back as hard as she could. I crossed my arms and leaned back against the wall to put one more inch of space between us. "Gaelen, please tell me what's going on with you. I remember what you said about going through a transformation, triggered by the energy you got from me. I don't understand what is happening to you… or why."

She stood as tall as she could, and then it was as though her strings were cut, and she sank into the chair next to Grace's desk. "It's not just me. There have been others who were called. The legends say that one of them chopped down a whole forest, tree by tree, to feed the bonfire that fueled his need for heat. One is said to have gone to live on the top of a mountain, above the clouds, where she could always be in the sun. One searched for storms, and ran outside clutching a metal rod until he was struck by lightning, over and over again."

"And what happened to those people? Did anyone know why they did those things?"

"They're just legends now, and the storytellers are long dead, but I remember that no one was ever called unless it was a time of great crisis, with the threat of war, plague, or a natural disaster." She looked around the room as though a tornado might sweep through at any moment. "Why me? Why would I be called now? It can't be real; it's crazy!"

"You keep saying 'called.' What do you mean by that?"

"Well, it means the person has to change, of course. Something changes them, and they can't just go on being who they were before. They have a fucking destiny! I can't deal with that. As crappy as my life has been at times, at least it was my life, not some bigger than life fucking hero's journey!"

"But the changes aren't stopping, are they, even though we haven't been making love?"

She sighed. "No, it's made no difference. I guess it was too late to stop it. From one day to the next I can see small changes." She stood and motioned to her feet. She was wearing a blue tunic, the same one she'd had on the first time we danced. Then it had covered all but her toes; now the hem ended well above her ankles.

"I'm taller. I measured myself, and I've grown three inches. Three inches? I've been an adult longer than you've been alive, and now all of a sudden I'm growing? Do you know what kind of power it takes to open up the ends of bones for growth again?"

Slowly, I took a step toward her. "I can't even pretend to understand what this means to you, Gaelen. I'm sorry if you're frightened, but I'm scared too. I'm scared I won't have you in my life, and I'm not sure I can live with that. If the change in you is going to continue no matter what, then why not marry me and we'll figure out the mystery together? I love you, Gaelen. If you care for me at all, then please let me be with you and help take care of you and the babies."

She sighed more deeply, then looked up and into my eyes. "I think I fell in love with you the moment I looked across the bar that first night and saw you sitting there with that stupid expression on your face. I wanted you so bad I could hardly keep my hands off you, and I was sure you'd never notice me.

"Yes, you wonderful, beautiful idiot, I'll marry you, and God help us both."