---

"God Bless the Child" - Billie Holiday

I can't tell you what I was thinking, or even if I was thinking, right then. Having a child is not something you do on a whim, especially a child such as mine might be. I should have given thought to the fact that Gaelen was an ordinary woman and, unlike Vai, would have no Kareinon to help her take care of a precocious baby. How would she cope with a child who might just as easily float as crawl, one whose strength would outstrip that of an average human before his first birthday? A child who would need special care and special training to survive in the world he was born into. The people who raised me and Star had possessed at least some of the qualities we had, enough so that they could control us until we were capable of understanding. Without proper training, a child like mine would not survive because, if he frightened ordinary people enough, he would be vulnerable. Until we understood our capabilities enough to use them, we could be killed.

But none of that entered my mind. I felt the delicate kiss of moonlight on my back as my shadow fell across Gaelen's face. Her lips parted, and I accepted the invitation gladly, her eyes, her scent, the satin smoothness of her skin becoming my whole world. When I came, the discharge of energy was secondary to the sensation of molten metal inside me, the amazing silver awareness that filled me as my seed flowed into her most delicate and secret places, and it seemed as though I felt my soul flow into her as well. She called out my name, and it was done.

"I love you, Gaelen," I whispered. But she was already asleep.

* * *

We made love with me in fertile mode several more times after returning to New York, and I had a chance to try and analyze the strange and pleasurable sensations unique to producing fertile sperm. I'd never remembered to discuss it with Star, so I could only wonder if he ever felt the same.

I enjoyed the different, stronger, sensations, but I had a feeling that adding more of my seed to the mix was unnecessary; the first time would have been enough.

* * *

As I had promised, I took Dex back to his home in Denver. When I came back to New York, instead of returning to the apartment he and I had shared, I moved in with Gaelen.

It was her idea: "Why take up Grace's vacant apartment? You know you're going to be here every night anyway." She grinned, and I was more than happy. The days flew by, and I spent every hour of them thinking about the night I would spend in Gaelen's arms. We often spoke fondly about our trip to the Rockies, and I desperately wanted to return there with her. I loved New York City, but the high plains of Denver had become my home.

As time went by I thought about my relationship with Gaelen in every way possible. In fact, sometimes it seemed as though I had done nothing but think about it since the day we met. There was no longer any doubt in my mind that I wanted her in my life. She had become so much a part of me that I couldn't imagine being without her, and the promise of a child only added to the attraction. She had filled a vacancy in my heart I never knew existed, and I couldn't rest until the bond between us was complete.

I hoped I'd told her enough that she was beginning to understand me a little. She knew about people like Dex and Grace and, more important, about Star. Still, it was one thing to have an affair with someone, knowing there were sometimes others in their bed, and perhaps another to contemplate spending your life together without the customary promises of faithfulness.

Why wasn't I willing to give up everyone else for Gaelen? In truth I was, but every time I thought about it, closing the door on all the other people I loved and cared about seemed wrong. Sex had always been my best mode of expression and communication. I knew myself pretty well, and I didn't see that changing. Sex in itself was not important. What mattered was the way you thought about the person you were with.

Would Gaelen understand that there was no need for jealousy, that I might love others, mentally and physically, but that she was special, a part of me in a way no one else, not even Star, could ever be?

Even if that aspect of things didn't bother her, I'd done a good job of convincing Gaelen that I didn't do relationships at all. Now I was going to have to convince her of the opposite.

I had made up my mind; I was going to ask her to marry me.

Married? Me? I would never have thought such a thing was possible. But the idea of having Gaelen as a permanent part of my life, the two of us joined with each other, filled me with joy, and I could hardly wait to make that formal commitment. Would Star be my best man? I'd have to ask him. But first I'd have to ask Gaelen.

I wandered downtown one afternoon, looking in jewelry store windows. A ring was traditional, even on planets other than Earth. A circle to symbolize forever… yes, that sounded good. Star had bought Vaira a huge diamond engagement ring, but she seldom wore it unless she could show it off in company. They both had plain gold bands, and Star never took his off, but Vai did, every time she cooked or cleaned… or had sex with me.

I shook my head. Even without a commitment, my relationship with Gaelen was already closer than Star's with Vai. They'd been together for years, but there was nothing special between them; they were no better partners than any two people might become.

Why weren't Star and Vai closer? It always seemed to me that Vai held back an important part of herself from the relationship. For sure, I didn't understand it, but it seemed to me that she lacked that last tiny increment of commitment to Star, while he loved her with his whole heart.

I could tell that Gaelen and I could be different. I didn't push, but sometimes I could feel her mind right there, almost wholly open to me. Someday that link would be completed, I was sure of it.

Finally I stood in front of Tiffany's. One more deep breath and I walked in. The staff was discreet, merely smiling with polite interest as I looked in the first couple of cases. I found wedding rings, but nothing really caught my eye. I looked up, and a salesman walked slowly over. "May I help you, sir?"

"I'm not sure. I'm about to ask someone to marry me, and I want to give her something different."

He didn't look at all concerned about my jeans and T-shirt, just nodded thoughtfully. "Do you have anything in mind?" He was kind of cute, in his late twenties, maybe, and conservatively dressed in suit and tie, his honey-blond hair styled neatly.

"Not really. I know I don't want an engagement ring, as such. Perhaps a band inset with diamonds, something that could be worn at all times. And I'd like a matching band for myself, but without the diamonds."

Nodding, he shuffled several black velvet boxes before selecting two and placing them on the glass in front of me. "I assume you want a sturdy ring, one that needn't be removed if engaging in mild athletic activities?" He opened the first box, and the glitter of diamonds lit the air. "These stones are bezel set, the white gold mounting wrapped completely around them, thus a small bump will do no harm. Do you find any of these appealing?"

Some of the bands were narrow, with tiny inset diamonds. Some were so thick as to be almost gaudy. My eye was drawn to a ring perhaps three sixteenths of an inch wide, inset around its entire circumference with three millimeter stones. "That one," I said.

He nodded again, unmoved. "An excellent choice, but unusual for a wedding band. We refer to this style as an eternity ring, because the inset stones continue completely around the band."

I smiled. Eternity was not too long for me. "I like it," I said.

"Then may I offer this as a suggestion for the groom's ring?" He opened the other box and indicated a similar band, slightly wider and inset with several very small diamonds spaced around it. The two rings looked good together.

When all was decided, I bought both rings, in platinum with white diamonds. Inside, both bands were engraved with "Forever."

* * *

That night I took Gaelen to our favorite restaurant, an after hours club that had dancing and great pizza. I was nervous, but did my best not to show it. We talked about everyday things, and then I got down to something more serious.

"Gaelen, does it bother you that I sometimes might have sex with other people?"

She shrugged. "Why would it? Would it bother you if I slept with someone else…?" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Like that gorgeous cousin of yours, Star?"

I grinned. "Not as long as I could watch."

She laughed. "Like he'd be interested in me when he's got that cute wife."

"I think you could have him or anyone else you wanted, Gaelen."

She shook her head. "Someday we're going to get your eyes checked. I know what I look like. Why do you think I hide away in a dark bar? "

"Seems to me you could be anything you want, love. Seriously, why did you become a bartender?"

She sighed. "I was a trained counselor once, not here but back home. I guess I still like listening to people talk about their problems, maybe passing on a little experienced advice. As a bartender I can do that without the office, couch, and diploma." She laughed. "And I get to prescribe their drugs, too."

I smiled. "And you're good at it. But did you ever think of going back to school here and getting a degree?"

"God, no. Why?"

"Well, a couple years ago I got my doctorate in psychology. I never knew what to do with it, but maybe we could set up shop together."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. A wife and husband team? We'd have them flocking to our door."

"A what?!" Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open a little.

I took the ring box out of my pocket and put it on the table. She looked at it as though it might explode. "Gaelen, I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but I love you very much, can't imagine life without you, and I want you to be my wife."

She blinked at me, and then her eyes were full of tears. I put a hand over one of hers. "Open the box… please?"

She pressed the little stud while I found a handkerchief, and then she just stared into the box, a stunned expression on her face. I reached out and dabbed at the wetness on her cheeks. "Do you like it? We can exchange it if you'd rather have something else."

She shook her head. "It's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen," she breathed.

I smiled.

"But I can't…." She snapped the box shut, shaking her head. "I can't take this."

"Gaelen," I begged, "please, you don't have to answer right away; at least think about it." I squeezed her hand, but she didn't look up from the closed box. "Will you do that?"

She sighed, and a faint smile graced her lips. "Yeah, of course I will." She picked up the box and looked into my eyes at last. "I want you to know I'm flattered. It was just kind of a shock, you know? Maybe you should take me home now."

I don't know what sort of a reaction I had hoped for, but it wasn't that. In silence, we took a taxi back to the bar, and I walked her in and up to her door. She kissed me once, very softly, then closed the door with me on the outside. I don't know how long I stood there before I walked back down the stairs.

* * *

I spent that night on the street, walking, worrying, and wondering what I had done wrong, but things seemed back to normal between us the next day. She acted like nothing had happened, and we met for dinner and went up to her apartment afterwards. But as one day followed the next, she didn't mention the ring or the proposal.

She did say she was sure she was pregnant, and I knew it was true. I could sense that not one baby, but two would be born to her, much sooner than I would have expected. I'd been surprised when she told me that her people's gestation period was only six Earth months, which would mean the twins would arrive near the end of October. She seemed happy about the babies, and I hesitated to press her for a decision about me.

Now I wanted her to be my wife even more, if that was possible.

* * *

In good time, Richie returned to work in the kitchen, but I continued to help out until he was completely recovered. After that, I went back to my usual job, singing.

That left me with time on my hands, and I couldn't spend all of it bothering Gaelen while she was behind the bar. Summer was fast approaching, and I used my free time to reacquaint myself with the beauties of the city, my mind never far from Gaelen and the children she carried. I knew I could not leave her, and I had to hope that one day she would consent to the union that seemed to me so perfect and inevitable.

I returned to the bar one evening to find Grace mixing drinks. "Where's Gaelen?" I asked, walking over to him.

He gave me a serious look. "She's upstairs. Won't come down or let me in. You better go talk to her."

My heart had lodged in my throat, and I made it up the stairs in record time. "Gaelen," I called, finding the door locked. "Gaelen, please let me in!"

The door opened with a click. The room was dark, and Gaelen, wearing only a bathrobe, retreated from me, walking toward the bedroom. In the dimness, an aura of light seemed to radiate from her exposed skin.

"Sweetheart," I said softly, "are you all right?"

"No, I'm not all right," she said, her voice starting out soft and growing louder with every word. "Look at me, I fucking glow like a goddamn jack o'lantern! Even Grace noticed, and he never looks at women… asked me was I wearing some new makeup, for God's sake! Probably wanted to know where he could get some of it!"

I gulped. "Do you think maybe it's the pregnancy?"

"No, I've been pregnant lots of times, and it never affected me like this. It's got to be those goddamn surges of energy when we fuck."

I was confused and a little worried. I'd noticed before that she tended to glow, especially right after sex, but I had thought it might be normal to her people. The light had always faded after a few minutes.

The energy flows still puzzled me, though they were involuntary, and it seemed to me that they were no longer quite as strong as they had been at the beginning.

"Do you feel all right? Do you think you should see a doctor?"

"A doctor? There are no doctors for my kind of people. I'm not human, remember? Who do you go to when you need a doctor? Is there a clinic for extra-terrestrials down on Third Street and somebody forgot to tell me?" She was angry now.

My thoughts turned briefly to Suria. I shuddered; no way.

"I… uh… never need a doctor. I don't get sick," I said, feeling somehow ashamed to say it.

"Beautiful!" she exploded. "I've hooked myself up with Mr. Perfect. Well, like I've been trying to tell you, I'm nowhere near perfect; what the hell are you doing with me? My people get sick just like anybody else. There's only one time that they don't, and that's when one of us becomes strong enough to…." She stopped suddenly, her face going grey. I reached out to support her, but she pushed me away and sank down onto the bed.

"It can't be that. No. That can't happen to me. Maybe it's not too late. The transformation will stop without more energy input; that's what the old healers always said…."

I stood there listening, trying to understand.

She went silent, her expression grim. Finally it cleared a little and she looked up. "Get out," she said calmly.

"What?"

"You heard me. I said get your stuff and get out of here. We're through."