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"Man has never found the words that could make you want me…"

"Cherish" - The Association

Spring in Denver was marvelous. I admit I missed the proximity of the ocean, but the mountain/plains landscape with its variety of animal and plant species did a lot to make up for it. I was thinking about my last drive up Clear Creek canyon with Dex when I walked into Suria's new office. Star had asked me to meet him there that day. Even though I could teleport anywhere in an instant, I liked riding along, the wind in my hair, enjoying the scenery. I really needed to get my own car.

"Evan." As always, I couldn't help smiling when I heard his voice - especially when he was talking directly to me. But today, I thought I knew what was on his mind - no mind reading, just a bit of deduction - and that blunted the pleasure a little. Suria, had been after him about what she wanted from me again - I knew it - and now she'd convinced him to do her asking in hopes that would change my mind.

Suria and I had already gone round and round, more than once, on the subject of me becoming another of her test subjects. Star, of course, was the main one, but there were others. It made me kind of sick to know that the babies, Star and Vaira's year-old twin boys, were on her test list, and I still didn't understand how he could allow it. Of course, she didn't hurt the kids, exactly, but who could know what kind of unholy "experiments" she might be cooking up in that laboratory of hers. It didn't help that Suria's husband, the vampire, Ravin, had rather a split personality. I steered clear of the place unless specifically summoned.

More than once, I thought about stepping in, seriously questioning Star's unwavering trust of her but, damn it, it just wasn't my business. He was so far above me in power and intelligence - not to mention the actual practical knowledge of what it takes to rule a planet - that in the end I only felt comfortable drawing the line where her demands related to me, personally.

Suria had asked me for samples of my blood from almost the first day we met, and I refused those requests so emphatically that it took her a while to think of a new approach. Since then, I had been careful not to drink or eat anything when she was around, and I was thankful that my control of my body was now such that I no longer randomly shed hairs or epithelial cells like most humans did. I didn't trust her not to vacuum up after me and use what she found in place of a willing contribution.

Now - believe it or not - she'd had the brass to ask for a sperm sample. Why, you might ask? She was happy to tell me that she had already used Star's germ cells, combined with those of others, to grow several babies in artificial wombs in her lab, not just the one I'd seen. Now she wanted the chance to combine my cells too, in whatever mix struck her fancy.

I had seen only one gestation chamber on that unpleasant visit to her lab, but to hear there were others wasn't much of a surprise. But there was no way in hell her latest plan or any other that included me was going to happen, and I had told her that, very clearly.

I was almost shocked, however, when she boasted that Phillip Drackett himself had given in to her demands. That meant there was a child under her control who was somehow a combination of him and Star.

I had a suspicion that Mr. D liked Star a little more than he let on, though I'd never say that to his face. The thought of having a child with Star, no matter how it was accomplished, must have been a powerful incentive for him.

None of us ever saw these kids though - not even Star, I didn't think. I wondered what kind of plastic bubble the poor things were living in, and what sort of experiments they, in turn, might be a part of.

The situation worried and offended me, but again, I thought it wasn't my place to question Star. No matter how often he assured me that he and I were virtually identical in abilities and potential, I couldn't see it. Without the help Star had given me I would still be living somewhere in NYC trying to pass for human. Maybe my limitations were only mental, maybe not, but I just knew in my gut that I was not in the same class with him.

"Evan, may I speak to you for a few minutes?" Sighing, I turned to face him. He was gorgeous, as usual. Every platinum blonde hair was in place and his clothes were his favorite off-white and fit his perfect body as though they were designed for him - which they no doubt were. His lovely dark brown skin was natural, but Earth people, not used to the coloring most common on our home planet, always thought he spent his days bathing in the sun.

"Sure, but let's go for a walk or something." I couldn't get over the feeling that Suria had his office completely "bugged," and I hated to think that she was listening in on our conversation directly, even if he would undoubtedly report back to her later.

Part of Suria being Star's "advisor" seemed to mean that he told her everything, and I mean everything. It pissed me off no end to figure that she probably knew about Star having sex with me the first time, a few months ago. I never asked him if he'd told her but…. And, of course, the sweet times I'd shared with Star and Vaira were probably no secret from Suria at all. Damn.

The three of us, Star, Vaira, and me, got along so well then that I almost thought they might consider asking me to join their marriage, make it a threesome, and, if they had, I would have had a difficult time saying "no." But they hadn't asked as yet, and somehow, it just seemed like a bad idea. I knew in my heart that I was still "in love" with Star, whatever that meant. I feared that sharing him with Vaira on a long-term committed basis would make me jealous, sooner or later, even if I was sharing her too.

I got along all right with Vaira, but I didn't like the way she acted with me, sexually. I'd seen her with him, of course, and she seemed to enjoy herself, but on the few occasions she'd convinced me to do it with her alone, she acted differently. She was wilder then, more abandoned, encouraging me to be rough and mostly getting her way, though rough sex was not usually my thing. I drew the line at leaving marks (what kind of message would that send Star), but I enjoyed sex with her, even without Star. Still, the whole experience felt subtly wrong. I wondered if Star knew that his wife and I got together without him. I sure wasn't going to be the first one to tell him.

Star and I walked, without speaking, to the nearby park. The tree-lined paths filled with roller skaters and bicyclists, made the day seem a lot more cheerful than the atmosphere at Suria's lab. By mutual unspoken agreement, we sat on the first wooden bench we came to, me at one end and him at the other. Between us, there was room for another person. I guess that person was Suria.

"Evan," he began, "I have a favor to ask of you."

I was startled. Oh, so now Suria's request had become his personal favor? She had way too much influence over him. I shifted uncomfortably on the hard bench, wishing he'd just come out with it… and he did.

"Suria wants to create a child that is both yours and mine. For that she needs a sample of your sex cells."

That hit me right between the eyes. I don't know why I hadn't seen it coming, but I hadn't. Having lived as a gay man for the first seventy-plus years of my life, I'd never really thought much about reproduction. But - having a child with Star? That was beyond anything I'd ever even dreamed.

I looked at him. His face was turned toward me, and his smile was the same sincere one that most often graced his features.

Star seemed to smile a lot, but I wasn't sure if it really meant anything. Even during sex, he always seemed controlled - except maybe for that one time when it had been just us. I liked to think that he'd lost control then, as much as I had. But… that was probably just a personal conceit on my part.

I shook my head so hard my brains rattled. "Let me get this straight. Suria wants to combine my germ cells with yours and incubate the result in one of those glass and plastic gizmos she has in her lab. And when our baby is born, or hatched, or whatever, we'll never even get to see it, right?"

I hadn't realized how angry I was until it all came spilling out like that. I knew I shouldn't take my feelings out on Star, but I didn't understand how he could let her do whatever she wanted with living beings who were part of him - his children as much as the twins, Roca and Racho.

Star recoiled a bit from my anger. His eyes changed for a minute, and he looked down as his perpetual smile became an expression of combined surprise and thoughtfulness.

"I… I never thought of it in that way. Suria just asked me to ask you, and it seemed reasonable. I didn't really think about what might happen to the child afterward." He looked up again, at me, and his expression was very different now. I swallowed hard at the honest love I saw there.

"It would be our child, wouldn't it?" He spoke as if considering that for the first time, which I guess he was.

I nodded, dumbly. I knew that, somewhere in the darkest parts of my mind, I nourished a vain hope that someday - someday - he would be mine. That this perfect man would tell me he loved me more than he loved Vaira - that he loved me the way I loved him. I knew I was an ass for feeling that way, but it was impossible not to. He and I were the only two beings like us anywhere. How could we not be together?

"I would very much like to have a child with you, Evan. If you would agree to the experiment, I would make certain that we both could see the child whenever we wanted."

I believed him when he said that. Even if Suria was way too influential in his life, I knew Star would never lie.

My head was spinning. I had been prepared to offer an unequivocal "no" to whatever he proposed in Suria's name, and now…. Would I ever have a chance to have a child again - especially with the only person in the universe that I had ever really loved?