I've always gotten along well with older guys. I look a lot older than I am, and I guess that's part of the reason it's easy for me with them. The older guy I like the best is Kyle, and a lot of times I can't even be in the same room with him without getting an erection. You might not think that's such a bad thing, and it isn't. But the thing about me and erections is that mine just don't go away. A lot of times mine fire without me even touching myself or thinking about touching myself, and that's embarrassing if somebody notices it. "Kyle, can I talk to you?" I asked him one day. "Sure, Bubba? What's up? Your dick?" he joked. "Yeah, that's exactly it," I said. "Kyle, please don't joke or tease me about this, okay?" "Okay, Bubba. I won't. Sit here next to me on the bed," he said. "I don't want to do that," I said. "Todd, I thought we were friends, man. What's up with that?" "We are friends. I think the world of you, and I don't want to hurt your feelings. It's just what you do to me," I said. I hope that sounded right. "What do I do to you? I'm never done anything to you," Kyle said. He sounded offended. "You don't do it on purpose. You can't help doing it, but you do it to me," I said. "Todd, this isn't making any sense," he said. "I know. I feel so dumb," I said. "Well, you're not dumb. Can you tell me exactly what it is I do to you by accident?" he asked. "Don't laugh, okay? But you make me have an erection," I said. "I can't help it, and it's bothering me." He didn't say anything right away. He stuck his thumb nail between his bottom middle two teeth and just looked at me. Maybe he was thinking or something. "I'm not doing . . . " he started, but then he stopped. "What?" I asked. "I started to say, 'I'm not doing anything to cause that,' but then I realized you already said that," he said. "I know," I said. "I don't know what to say," he said. "I know. That's why I feel so dumb," I said. "I can't live here and not be around you, at least some of the time, but every time I am, I get hard and a lot of times I shoot." "Yeah, I know about that. I thought you knew that was normal," he said. "It might be normal, but it's a pain in the butt," I said. "I'm constantly having to change clothes. Plus, it's embarrassing." "Maybe you could wear a rubber," he said. "Huh?" I said. "To catch the cum when you shoot," he said. "That might work." "Do you mean a condom?" I asked. "Yeah. A condom. I call 'em rubbers, but yeah." "I'll try anything," I said. "Do you have some?" "No, but Justin and Brian do. Let's go borrow one," he said. "I don't want them to know," I said. "Please don't tell anybody." "Okay, I'll go get one," he said. Justin and Brian's room was next door. I could hear the conversation from where I was in Kyle's room because both bedroom doors were open. "Hey, Bubba. Y'all got a rubber I can have?" Kyle said. "Yeah. In the nightstand. What are you doing?" It was Brian's voice. "I'm going to do an experiment," Kyle said. "What kind of experiment?" Brian asked. "I really can't tell you, okay? It's for one of the other guys," Kyle said. "Kyle, please don't tell me . . . " "No, of course not, Bri. Sheesh! Gimme some credit, Bubba. He asked me not to say anything to anybody about it." Brian laughed. "Are you ever going to be able to tell?" Brian asked. "I don't know, but I need to go. Thanks, Brian," Kyle said. "No problem. We've got plenty," Brian said. "Yeah, I see that. What do y'all do? Buy 'em by the gross? I know you guys are hot and sexy, but . . . " Brian laughed. "A gross lasts us about a week." They both laughed, and then Kyle came back into his room. "Did you get it?" I asked. "Yeah. He about gave me the third degree, though," he said. He tossed three of them on the bed. "You know how these things work, don't you?" "In theory I do, but I've never even seen one," I said. I had seen pictures of condoms, and of guys wearing them, on the Internet, so I thought I could figure out how to put it on. "Well, I ain't putting it on you. Make sure you leave a little room at the end to catch the cum, you hear? Otherwise, it'll just backwash out the top," he said. "Thanks for doing this, Kyle," I said. "Let me go take care of business." "Good luck, Bubba. I hope this works. Remember, you've got to be hard to put it on," He said. "That won't be a problem," I said. He chuckled and grinned at me. God, I love him. * * * I went up to my room to put on the condom. I made sure my door was locked, and I dropped my pants to the floor. I pulled my underwear down far enough for me to get to my penis, but I didn't take them off. I had a little trouble getting the wrapper off, and then I remembered seeing a picture of a guy tearing it with his teeth. That worked fine. The shape of the condom was strange, and it was a lot smaller than I thought it would be. I unrolled it a little bit to leave a reservoir at the end like Kyle said to do, and I put it at the head of my penis. It felt soft. I pushed it back, but it didn't go over the head. It got away from me, and it fell on the floor. I picked it up and tried again. I wondered if I had the right size, or if they even came in different sizes. On the third try, I got it over the ridge at the base of the head, and it stayed put. I carefully unrolled it the rest of the way. I didn't want to put too much pressure on it because that would have made me shoot. Finally, I had it on. I really couldn't feel it. It was just there. I pulled my pants back up and went down to the den. Everybody was in there, talking about somebody named Chris who doesn't have to have physical therapy anymore. "Who are we talking about?" I asked Sean. "I don't know. Some friend of theirs," he said. I sat down next to Kyle on purpose. He looked at me and winked, but that was all. I felt confident that I'd be safe if anything happened. I stayed hard, as I knew I would, and, in a little while, what I thought might happen, did. I came. Kyle noticed me jerk a little when it happened, and he brushed the side of my thigh that was nearest him with his hand. Of course, I don't know if he did that on purpose or not. "Excuse me," I said, and I went upstairs. "Open up," Kyle said. He was at my bedroom door. "Just a minute," I said. I had gone into the bathroom to clean up, but I hadn't had time to get started. I let him in my room. "You had one, didn't you?" he asked. I nodded. "Nobody but me noticed anything," he said. "Is your dick soft? 'Cause if it ain't, leave it on. Sometimes I get soft right away, and sometimes I stay hard for a while." I wanted to tell him that his telling me stuff like that was going to keep me hard the rest of my life, but I didn't say anything. I knew he didn't realize what kind of effect what he was saying was having on me. "I'll leave it on. It worked, though. Is there a limit to the time you can wear one?" I asked. "I don't know," he said. "I guess your dick could rot off if you left it on too long. It'll come off by itself when you get soft, though. You do get soft sometimes, don't you?" "Now and then," I said. He laughed. "We're going to need to buy you some rubbers. Any favorite colors?" "No," I said, laughing. "When can we get them?" "Let's go right now. I need to get a few things at Publix, anyway. We won't take anybody else," he said. "I need to get some stuff in produce. Ask 'em at the counter where the rubbers are," Kyle said, after we had gone into the grocery store. "I can't do that. I'd be too embarrassed," I said. "Why? They'll just think you're practicing safe sex. They won't know why you want 'em," he said. "But still," I said. "God, almighty! All right. I'll ask 'em," he said. "I tell you what, son. Raising a houseful of boys is a pain in the butt sometimes." His voice was gruff and grumbly, but I knew he wasn't mad at me. He was just being cute. We got the condoms, some fruit in produce, and Kyle asked for a carton of cigarettes. "Are those for you?" I asked, meaning the cigarettes. I didn't think he smoked. "No. They're for Sean. He can't buy 'em himself," he said. "Why? Too young?" I asked. "Yeah. There's nothing in the law that says he's too young to smoke 'em, as far as I know. They just can't sell 'em to him," he said. We paid for the stuff, went home, and I felt as though I had solved a problem. A sticky one, at that. I was starting to sound like Kyle and Justin, I thought, and I laughed quietly at myself.
"Sean and I broke up," I said to Colleen and Jenny. We were at "our" table in the lunchroom at school on Monday. "Is that why he's not here?" Colleen asked. "Exactly," I said. "It's probably for the best. I've been hearing all kinds of rumors about him," Jen said. "Like what?" I asked. "Well, like he's really straight," Jen said. "What?! That's not true," I said. "I've heard that he sleeps around a lot," Colleen said. "That one is true," I said. "And with a lot of straight guys." "Maybe that's what I heard," Jen said. "Not that he's straight but that he likes straight boys." "Are you crushed, Scottie?" Colleen asked. "We'll always be here for you, you know." "I'm more depressed and pissed off about it than I am crushed. But, at least now I won't have to sneak around and hide it from my mom," I said. "I thought she knew you're gay," Colleen said. "She does, but she doesn't know he and I were having sex," I said. "She would never approve of that." "Let me get this right. She's okay with the fact that you're gay, but she doesn't want you having sex? I'm afraid that doesn't make sense," Jen said. "It's because of my age, not the sex itself, per se," I said. "She knows gay people have sex and that I will eventually. She's never actually said anything more than, 'I hope you'll wait,' but I know what she means by that. No sex until I'm older." "So what happened? Did you guys have a big fight?" Colleen asked. "Something like that," I said. "Will you tell us about it? Or is it too painful?" Colleen asked. "No, I'll tell," I said. * * * The first weekend in February, Sean and I went to the mall in town on Saturday to go to the arcade. Now that he had his car, it was easier for us to do stuff like that. "That guy's hot, isn't he?" he said. "Which one?" I asked. There were actually several boys in that place that I thought were hot. "The one at that machine over there. Look at him. Damn," he said. He was hot, all right. I wasn't getting anything on my gaydar screen from him, though. "Do you think he's gay?" I asked. "Does it matter?" he asked in return. "No, not really. He's still nice to look at, gay or straight," I said. I checked out Sean's crotch, and he had a hard-on. I didn't think it was for me, though. I was a little pissed off at him, but I also knew you really can't help those things. We got busy with the games, and I didn't pay any more attention to Sean or his hard-on. I saw a kid I know, and he challenged me to Final Destiny. Since I more or less live for that game, I got totally engrossed in playing him. "I hate to quit, but I've gotta take a leak," the kid said. "I'll stay here and hold the machine," I said. "Okay," and he took off for the restroom. He came back in a few minutes. "You won't believe this. There's a guy in the men's room giving blowjobs," he said when he came back. "Really? Who is it?" I asked. "I don't know. I didn't see him. He's in one of the stalls, and there were three dudes in there waiting in line for him," he said. "My God. You didn't want one?" I asked. "Naw. Scottie, you don't have to answer this, okay, but I heard somebody say they thought you're gay," he said. "Would it bother you if I am?" I asked. "Not a bit. I've known you since second grade. I don't care if you're gay. I've got a bunch of gay friends," he said. "Well, now you have another one," I said. "Cool," he said. That was it. We went back to playing the game. In a little while I noticed the "hot" guy come back in the arcade from the direction of the restrooms. He walked up to two friends of his and told them something that made them laugh. "No, shit!" one of the friends said loud enough for me to hear him. "I'm going. I want one, too." I figured it was the blowjob guy he wanted to visit. "How do you feel about that guy in the restroom giving blowjobs?" I asked my friend. "I think it's pretty sleazy. They bust people in there all the time for that. That's one reason I wasn't interested in one," he said. "It wouldn't make you gay, you know," I said. "Oh, I know. I'm just not that into sex, especially in public," he said. After a while, I got to wondering where Sean was. I didn't think he'd just leave me there, but I hadn't seen him in a couple of hours. My friend on Final Destiny had to leave, so I started looking around for my boyfriend. He was nowhere to be found in the arcade. I had to go to the bathroom, so I walked in that direction. When I got in there, the place was fumed up with cigarette smoke, and there was a guy waiting in front of a stall that had the door shut. As I was washing my hands, the door of the stall opened, and I saw in the mirror that Sean was in the stall. I almost crapped in my pants. "I'm next," I said to the boy who had been waiting. "Like hell, you are," that guy said. "I've been waiting twenty fucking minutes, and you just walked in." Sean had a look of terror on his face. His fly was open, but I didn't see his dick. "Let's go," I said to Sean. "All right," Sean said and started to leave the stall. "Wait a fucking minute, dude. I want a blowjob. You ain't going nowhere." He pushed Sean back into the stall, stepped in, and shut the door. "I've got to go, man. Another time, okay?" Sean pleaded. "Now, motherfucker. I've been hard for twenty fucking minutes waiting for this, and I want to get off," the guy said. "He needs to go home," Sean said in a pleading voice. "Yeah? Well, I need to get off," the guy said. "Ow," Sean said. I heard what I thought was a muffled punch. "Scott, wait outside. This won't take long." I was livid. I couldn't leave because he was my ride. Plus, we had to break up. That was the last straw. We hadn't seen much of each other since before Christmas. I knew he had a lot of family things to do, but he hadn't even called me, much less come around. I guess he was busy giving blowjobs to the boys at the mall. "I can explain," Sean said, after he followed the other guy out of the men's room. "No you can't. I want to go home," I said. "Scott, don't dis me like this, man," he said as we were walking fast toward the parking lot. "Dis you?! You're kidding, right?" I said. "I know what it looks like, but . . . " "Sean, I've listened to your bullshit and your lies long enough. It's over," I said. "Just like that? After all this time? I thought you loved me," he said. "You said you loved me. Were you just lying?" "No. When I said I loved you, I meant it. But you don't love me, and I don't love you anymore, either," I said. We were at his car by then. He unlocked it using the remote, and we got in. He just sat there. "Start the fucking car, please," I said. "Can't we talk?" he asked. "No. Take me home," I said. The drive home was in silence. He pulled into my driveway. "Can I come in?" he asked. "No! What part of 'it's over' don't you understand?" I asked. "I think you're being unreasonable," he said. "I'm not being unreasonable. Look, I caught you red-handed giving blowjobs to a line of guys in the fucking mall bathroom. This is the first time we've been out in weeks, and you never call me. I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore. In fact, I don't even want to be your friend anymore," I said. "Goodbye." And that's how we left it. * * * "Oh, my God! The drama!" Colleen said. "You poor baby," Jen said. "I'm dying for a smoke. Let's go." "It's raining," I said. "Oh, shit," Jen said. "Let's go somewhere and be depressed." That actually brought a smile to my face. "Let's go to the drama room," Colleen said. "In fact, Scott, that's probably where you should have told that story. Buck up, Buckaroo." I laughed. "I'm going to miss going to Sean's house. I like his brothers, or whatever the hell they are," Jen said. "Yeah, I know. Those are really nice guys. Sean was a nice guy, too, for a while," I said. "Maybe we can still be their friends and just not his," Colleen said. "It could happen," I said. We were passing a boys' bathroom on our way to the drama room when Bill Harmon, the school policeman, was coming out. He had a drug dog and its handler, and a boy I don't know, in handcuffs, and Sean, in handcuffs, too. Sean saw me. "What happened?" I asked Sean. "No talking," Officer Harmon said. "Is he under arrest?" I asked. "Yes. No drugs, like we thought, though," Harmon said. "Where are you taking him?" I asked. "Sheriff's office," Harmon said, and he and the others were off down the hall. "I've got to do something," I said to Colleen and Jen. "What do you have to do?" Colleen asked. "I don't know, but something," I said. "He's going to jail." "I know. There's nothing you can do, except maybe tell Tim and Brian," Colleen said. I knew Tim and Brian go out every day for lunch, and there were still ten minutes left in the lunch period. They probably weren't back on campus yet, but that's what I had to do. Tell them. Not that they could do anything, either, but Sean is their "brother," after all. "Do you know where they are?" Colleen asked. "I have no idea where they are, or even if they're back from lunch," I said. "Let's go get passes from Maggie so we can be out of class," Colleen said. "It's time we lived drama, instead of just studying it." Jen and I both laughed. Colleen is fabulous, and I love her. Colleen got three passes from the student director of the current play, not Maggie Storm, the teacher. I didn't know if the administration would honor those or not, but we could always plead ignorance. "They must have cell phones," Colleen said. "Yeah, they do, but I don't know their numbers. I just know Sean's," I said. "Is anybody at home at the house?" Jen asked. "I have no idea. Kyle and Justin are both in college, so they might be," I said. "Let's try that. Do you know the number?" Colleen asked me. "No," I said. She dialed Information and asked for the number of Kyle Goodson. "No. Ask for Kevin Foley or Rick Mashburn. The phone's not in Kyle's name," I said. "What was I thinking?" she said, dramatically. She got the main house number and punched it into her cell. "Hi. This is Colleen Boyle. Is this Kyle?" Pause. "Okay. Thanks," she said. "I think it was Justin. He's getting Kyle," she said to us. "Kyle? It's Colleen." Pause. "Fine thanks. Well, sort of fine. Your brother's been arrested." Pause. "No. Of course not. It was Sean," she said. She covered the mouthpiece. "He thought Tim had been arrested." She did her face in a "go figure" expression. "No, but Scott's here. Do you want to talk to him?" she asked. Pause. "He wants to talk to you," she said, handing me her phone. "What the fuck's going on?" Kyle demanded. "I don't know. But he was arrested. Bill Harmon, the SRO, is taking him to the Sheriff's office. Kyle, he and another boy I don't know were in handcuffs. They had a drug dog with them, but Bill said it wasn't drugs, like they had suspected." "Well, thank God for that. What was it, then?" Kyle asked. "I don't know. He didn't say," I said. "Shit, this really fucks up my day. I've got two classes this afternoon. Fuck 'em, though. I'll bet I know what it was, and it ain't going to be pretty," Kyle said. "Yeah, I have a theory, too," I said. "Where are y'all right now?" Kyle asked. "Right outside the drama room," I said. "Go back in the drama room and tell the student director y'all need passes. Then go up to the main office. I'll be there in ten minutes," Kyle said. The tardy bell to start fourth period rang. "Was that the bell?" Kyle asked. "Yeah," I said. "Okay. Meet me in the front of school. Don't tell anybody, okay?" "Okay," I said. "Okay. Bye," he said. "He wants us to meet him in the front of the school," I said. "By the way, he told me to get passes from the student director, so maybe these things are good, after all." "Probably not, but at least we think like he does. That's encouraging," Colleen said. Kyle parked in the space reserved for the SGA president right in front of the school. He must just be used to parking there. Of course, it was empty, so maybe the president wasn't at school and Kyle knew it. "Thanks for calling, y'all. This is going to be bad. I just know it," he said, walking into the building. "Hi, Kyle! I want a hug," the receptionist lady said, kind of pouty. "Hey, girl," Kyle said, and he hugged her. "How's my best girlfriend?" "You look so good, Kyle," she said. "You do, too, Meredith. Would you call Miss Sally and tell her I'm here. I need to see her, and it's kind of an emergency," Kyle said. "What's the matter?" the lady said. "One of my little brothers just got arrested, apparently," Kyle said. "Sean Kelly?" Her face got real serious. "Yeah, he did. He's your brother?" she asked. "He's my foster brother. Or honorary foster brother. Something like that," Kyle said. "Just call Miss Sally, please, okay?" "Oh, sure. I'm sorry, Kyle," she said. "I don't think he's been in big trouble before." "Well, maybe not here," Kyle said. Mrs. Ortega, the school principal, came right out from her office after the lady called her. She and Kyle hugged, like they were long-lost cousins or something. "Come into my office, Baby," she said to Kyle, and the two of them walked off together. "Shit! Did you see that?" Colleen said. "I think she had an orgasm when she saw him." "What do you three want?" the receptionist asked. "Show me your passes, and you'd better have them." We showed her the passes from the student director. "Who is this person?" she asked, questioning the signature. "Oh, she's the student director. We're in drama this period," Colleen said. "We're the ones who called Kyle." "I don't know about a student writing passes," she said. "Oh, it's totally valid. Even Kyle said so," Colleen said. She was using her best acting skills at that moment, and they were considerable. "Okay. Well, go sit down or something. You can't stand here in front of the desk," she said. "Yes, ma'am," Colleen said. "I hate that bitch," she said, under her breath, after we had taken seats as far away from her as we could get. "I'd love to be a fly on the wall in Ortega's office right now." "You were awesome, girl," Jen said. "Thank you," Colleen said. "This is the point at which I should be lighting up a cigarette, but, of course, the children can't smoke. They may grow up to be like their parents, if they do." "Very bitter," Jen said. "Thank you," Colleen said. "And it was a fabulous line," Jen said. "I wonder what's going to happen to Sean," I said. "I don't know, but I'm on pins and needles," Colleen said. "Can you tell the difference between the pins and the needles?" Jen asked. "Oh my God, yes," Colleen said. "The needles are much sharper." Jen and I both laughed. We cooled our heels for about fifteen minutes, and then Kyle came out, followed by Mrs. Ortega. "I'll keep him in my thoughts and prayers, Kyle," she said, and she actually kissed Kyle on the forehead. "God, what a suck-up he must be," Colleen said when she saw that. Kyle walked over to us. "Thanks for calling me, y'all," he said to the three of us. "So what went down?" Jen asked. "He did, apparently. On at least three boys. They only arrested the one he was with at the time they went in there. The other two had hauled ass," Kyle said. "Why did they arrest him for that?" I asked. "Well, it's lewd and lascivious conduct in a public place. Apparently, if you do it in a school, it's a double whammy. There go his nuts, right there," Kyle said. "So, he's fucked?" Colleen said. "Exactly," Kyle said. "They got the whole damn thing on tape. I saw it. No mistaking who it was. They're going to get those other two, too, if they can identify them. I didn't recognize anybody except Sean, but there's no mistaking him." "How can they get that on tape? That's outrageous. Taping people in the bathroom? Have they no shame?" Colleen said. "That's what Miss Sally said, too. She's been against the surveillance cameras in the bathrooms from the get-go, but it's out of her hands. It's a law enforcement thing, and a school board thing," Kyle said. "Evidently, they think they can get around the privacy issue because they only start taping when they see the beginning of a criminal act. Somebody monitors the cameras during lunches, and they only hit the 'record' button when they see something they're going to want for evidence. I might have to volunteer to watch the boys' bathrooms." "Oh, Kyle. That is so gay. So fabulously gay," Colleen said. He and Colleen and Jen were laughing. Those three really like one another. I, of course, was ready to get on my back, naked, downtown, if that's where Kyle would have me. Neither one of them would kick him out of their beds, either. The trouble is, he wouldn't ever want their beds, but he might some day want mine. Naw. Random fantasies. "So, what do we do now?" Colleen asked. "Surely not go to class." "Are your passes good for the whole period?" Kyle asked. "Yes, and there are only twenty minutes left," she said. "I'd go somewhere and chill. Or leave, if you have transportation," Kyle said. "We've got play practice after school, and all of us are in it," Jen said. "Well, go someplace and chill. I used to go to the TV production studio when I needed to," he said. "Yeah, but they knew you. They don't know us," Colleen said. "We'll find our way. Thanks for everything, Kyle." "No. Thank you for calling me. There's going to be a shitstorm at my house, and I can't imagine what's going to happen. Your boyfriend did it good this time, Scott," Kyle said. "He's not my boyfriend any more," I said. "Since when?" "Since Saturday afternoon. I'll tell you about it sometime," I said. "Okay. Hey, now listen. Just because those two are broke up, it don't mean the three of you can't come to the house to party and hang out with us, okay? Y'all are our friends separate from Sean, you hear. I mean that, too," Kyle said. "Okay. Thanks, Bubba," I said. He looked at me a little funny because I called him 'Bubba," and then he smiled at me. "See you later, Bubba. Girls," he said, and he was gone. "Oh, my God. My panties are sodden," Colleen said. "Sodden?" I didn't know that word. "Damp. Moist. Wet. I'm so horny right now, I would fuck an extra-long chili-cheese Coney, if I could get my hands on one," Colleen said. "Hmh. I ate one of those on my second date with Sean," I said. "Really? Was it his?" Jen asked. "No. It was a real one. From Sonic. Let's go," I said. |