Brian and I had started working on our college applications in October because we wanted to go for "early decision" at Tulane University. That basically meant we would know before Christmas if we had been accepted. It was a little more complicated for Brian than it was for me because he had to send transcripts from Beachside High School and from Emerald Coast Community College. It wasn't that big a deal, but it was one more step he had to take. Just as we had been hoping, our acceptance letters were at the house waiting for us when we got back from New Orleans on Christmas Eve. He and I opened them, of course, but there were so many people, and so much going on, that we sort of put the acceptances on the back burner. Everybody congratulated us and all, but it wasn't that big a deal. When second semester started, we were all set for college, but we still didn't know whether either, or both, of us would get one of the coveted and highly prestigious Dean's Honor Scholarships that we had applied for. They only give thirty of those a year, but they basically constitute a full free ride. They don't include books, room, board, or other expenses, but we have all of that covered. Brian has made so much money training the dogs that he probably could pay full tuition, at least for the first year, if he had to. Not only that, my dad and Mr. Gene have guaranteed that we don't have to worry about paying for college. "This is a lot of work filling out these scholarship applications, isn't it?" I said to Brian. We were in his room working together on them. I mean, we were each doing our own, but we were doing it at the same time and in the same place. "Yeah, but it's a lot of money," he said. "The tuition alone is $29,810.00 a year. It says on the Web site that for people who live in a dorm it's $39,051.00. I sure hope it's worth that much." "Damn, I didn't realize it was that much. That's like $120,000 for four years, in round figures, just for tuition," I said. "I know. That's why it's so hard to get the Dean's Scholarships. Those are the only scholarships they give where you don't have to show any financial need. I doubt you would even be eligible for need-based financial aid because Doc and Sonya make so much money. The parents have to submit their income tax return along with the application," he said. "I don't know what they'd do in my case." "I feel just a little bit guilty, though, about even applying. I mean, you and I are guaranteed support from my dad and Gene. If we get them, we'll be taking the place of some poor kid, maybe," Tim said. "Maybe, maybe not. If we don't get them, they could just as easily go to somebody like Kyle," Bri said. I laughed. "What are you laughing at?" Brian asked. "I'm laughing at what it would be like if Kyle tried to fill out this application. He'd never get it done," I said. "Don't sell your boy short. You know he's smart," Bri said, defending the love of my life in his absence. "Of course I know he's smart, but can't you just picture his attention-deficit-disordered self fooling with all of this?" I said. Then it was Bri's turn to laugh. "Yeah, I think you're right," he said. * * * We weren't supposed to hear anything about the scholarships until mid-January, right after the weekend hunting trip. After we got home from school on Monday of that week, Brian and I walked together out to the mailbox on the street to see if we had any news. They had said we would know something that week, but we didn't know the exact day the letters would come. We get a ton of magazines and catalogues every day in the mail, and that day was no exception. I started going through the mail, handing each piece to Brian for him to hold while I looked for something from Tulane. Finally, near the bottom of the stack were two envelopes with the return address of Tulane University. One was addressed to me, and one was addressed to Brian. All of a sudden, my stomach turned to water and my hands started shaking. "That doesn't look too encouraging," Bri said. "I know. I thought it would be a big packet, like we got when we were accepted," I said. "Let's go inside and open them." Denny, Murray, and Todd were all still at school, and I'd have to go pick them up later. Sean was probably at Scott's house, having sex or something. Kyle and Justin were still at college, and Kevin, Rick, and Andy were still at work. "Are you scared?" Bri asked me. "I'm terrified," I said. "Look how bad my hands are shaking." "I know. Mine are, too, and my stomach's a nervous wreck right now," he said. "Well, I guess we ought to do it," I said. "Okay. Let's do it together on three. One, two, three," he said, and we tore into the envelopes. "Oh, my God," Brian said. He was breathing so hard, I thought he might hyperventilate. Then I saw the first word of my letter. "Congratulations!" it said. "Oh, Brian. Me, too," I said. We jumped up and hugged each other so hard that it hurt. We were dancing around the room, crying major happy tears. "Let me see yours," he said. I handed him my letter, and he gave me his. Yep. Identical, except for the inside address. "Let's call Justin and Kyle," he said. "They're on their way home by now, aren't they?" "Yeah." I called Kyle, and Brian called Justin. We told them our news. "All right! Babe, I'm so damn proud of you. I love you so much," Kyle said. "I love you that much, too," I said. "I'll be home in a minute. I've got to get off right now, though. I'm about halfway to a full hard-on," he said. "But don't worry. I won't fool with it. It's yours. I love you. Bye." I started laughing. "Did Kyle say he's got an erection?" Brian asked. "How'd you know?" I asked. "Because Justin's got one, too, and they're not even in the same vehicle," he said. Bri and I laughed together at the foolishness of our guys. "You've got to love 'em," he said. "I know," I agreed. After I talked to Kyle, I called my dad and told him the good news. He was beside himself with excitement for both of us. Then I called Rita and Gene, on three-way calling, and they were very excited for us, too. "Let's wait till tonight to call the Foleys. They're too hard to get up with during the day," I said. "Do you think we should call Kevin and Rick?" Brian asked. "No! We've got to wait and see their reaction in person," I said. "That's what I thought, too," he said. We heard Justin drive up, and I figured Kyle would be right behind him. He wasn't, though. When Justin came inside, he dropped his backpack on the floor and flew into Brian's arms. He picked Brian up around the waist and danced him around the room. Then he planted a kiss on Brian's mouth that definitely would not have been allowed if Kevin and Rick were home. He did the same thing to me, only the kiss was fraternal. "I knew y'all were going to get it," he said. "Y'all are the two smartest ones I ever knew." "Where's Kyle?" I asked, after we had calmed down. "He had to stop at the grocery store. He wants to have a party tonight for y'all. I'm supposed to call the Townhouse Boys and invite them," he said. "Just call Jeff and tell him to bring the others," I said. "I hope it's just for the family." "Yeah, that's all it is. Really, just a nice dinner, I think. You know how he is. He couldn't possibly let this pass without doing something special for you guys," Jus said. We both said we agreed. "Brian, I got a little something I want to talk to you about upstairs, okay?" Justin said. "Don't put yourself down, Buddy. It's plenty big enough for me," Brian said. "You little cutie. How do you know what I'm talking about?" Jus asked. "It wouldn't be this thing right here, would it?" Brian asked, rubbing Justin's erection through his jeans. I had felt it when he hugged me. "Let's go before you make me shoot in my jeans. I've had this thing for twenty minutes already," he said, and, laughing and clowning, they went to their room. Kyle got home in about fifteen minutes, and he hit the horn of his truck coming into the driveway. I went outside to help him bring in the groceries. When I got to the truck, he and I repeated what Justin and Brian had done inside, only we did it in the front yard, passionate kiss and all. I could feel his erection, too, and I was getting one of my own. It's good having gay neighbors, I thought. We took the groceries into the kitchen, and he put a couple of things in the refrigerator. "Where are Justin and Brian?" he asked. "Justin had some little thing he wanted to talk about with Brian in private," I said. "They're upstairs." "I've got a little something of my own to talk to you about upstairs, too, if you're interested," he said. "Have I ever not wanted to talk about a little thing with you?" I asked. He grinned. "I know, you little sex monkey. Let's go. God, Tim, I'm so happy, I could bust," he said. Some people complain that "monogamy" is a synonym for "monotony." I suspect those people are not in monogamous relationships, though, because what Kyle and I do in the bedroom is anything but monotonous. In fact, it seems to me that every act of lovemaking is different. We might do the same things, since there's an obvious limit to what two guys can do together, but our sex life is full of surprises, good surprises. There are so many factors that go into it. Mood is a major factor, but so are things like setting, time of day, degree of arousal, and length of time since the last encounter. That afternoon we hadn't made love since the previous Friday night because of the camping trip, so that was definitely a favorable factor. We were in our bedroom, so setting didn't enter in, but we rarely make love at 3:30 in the afternoon, so that was a plus. The biggest factor that day, though, was mood, and neither of us could have been in a better one. We jumped at each other as soon as we locked the door. We were so desperate for contact that we started undressing each other as soon as our lips touched, standing in the middle of the room. When I finally got Kyle's underwear off, I saw that his dick was a wet, sticky mess. A hair of pre-cum leaked off the end of it and made it all the way to the floor without breaking. The boy was very aroused. I dropped down and took his dick into my mouth. The taste was unbelievably good, and the aroma that arose from his crotch was like the finest perfume to me, the essence of maleness. "Not too much, okay?" he said. I knew he wanted to fuck me, and he didn't want to come before we got in bed. I backed off and led him to bed. I got on my back, and he got between my legs. He started licking my nut sack, which always drives me crazy, and he worked his way down to my hole. After several minutes of incredible rimming, I was desperate for him. "Put it in me, Kyle. Now," I said, gasping for enough air to make my voice work. With a little lube on him and me, he entered me. He communicated with his penis all of his happiness, excitement, joy, and love, and he did it over and over and over, slowing down occasionally to make it last. I didn't time it or anything, but that had to be one of the longest fucks we had ever had. When we came, pretty much simultaneously, I almost blacked out from the pleasure. He slumped down on top of me and gently sucked on my neck. He didn't move for a long time, and I wondered if he had gone to sleep. In a minute, though, his penis had softened to the point that he could no longer keep it in me, and he rolled onto his side of the bed when it came out. "That was incredible," he said. "I know. For me, too. I love you," I said. He responded to that with a tender kiss. "Let's get up," he said. "Do you want a shower?" "Not really," I said. "Let's go in the bathroom and clean up, though." "Okay," and so we did. Justin and Brian were coming out of their room just as we left ours. Kyle ran up to Brian, lifted him up in a big hug, and kissed him. Then Kyle and Justin hugged, also with a brotherly kiss. "Can you believe these two?" Justin asked. "Don't got to believe nothing. They proved it, Bubba," Kyle said. "It's a fact we're married to the two best guys in the world. I don't know what y'all were doing in that bedroom, but, son, what we were doing was un-fucking-believable." "What'd y'all do? Have sex or something?" Justin teased. "You damn right," Kyle said, "and y'all did, too. I hope it was as good for y'all as it was for us." That's the kind of conversation we would never dare have in front of the others but that we have among ourselves all the time. "I don't think it could get any better, Kyle," Justin said. All four of us were grinning, happy to be brothers, happy to be gay, and happy to be in love. "Did y'all call everybody already?" Kyle asked. "Shit, I forgot to call Jeff. I been thinking with the wrong head," Jus said. "No, Buddy, it was very much the right head," Brian said. "But you do need to call him. Don't say why, though, okay? Tim and I want to see their reactions when they hear the news." Justin made the call, and I could tell Jeff wanted to know why we were getting together on a Monday night. "Tell him Monday Night Football," Kyle said. "Hold on," Jus said into the phone. He held it away and covered it so Jeff couldn't hear what he was going to say. "Hell, no, Kyle. He won't come, if he thinks it's for football. Jeff, it's a surprise." They finished the conversation in a couple of seconds. "They'll be here," Jus said to us. "Let me see the letters," Kyle said. Brian and I handed him what he asked for. When he realized they were identical, he handed Brian's letter to Justin. They both read them quickly. "I can't believe how much money's involved in this," Jus said. "I hope UNO don't cost that much." "It don't. UNO's a state school; this one is private. They're always more expensive. Besides, what do you care? You're covered," Kyle said. "Oh, I know, but that's thirty thousand dollars a year, just in tuition. That ain't books, apartment, food. Nothing," he said. "I know. Tulane is a fancy school, though. UNO is for working stiffs like you and me," Kyle said. "Where do you suppose that term 'working stiff' comes from?" Brian asked. "I know the answer to that. Years ago, they started working the boys when they were around thirteen, and they'd be stiff all the time, like any thirteen-year-old boy," Kyle said. "They'd be working stiffs." We all laughed. "Kyle, I think you ought to major in linguistics and specialize in etymology," Brian said. "Ain't that bugs and shit like that?" Kyle asked. "I don't like bugs." "The study of insects is entomology. Etymology is the study of the origins of words," Brian said. "You'd be so good at it. You could write the funniest dictionary ever created, and you'd probably have a good time doing it." "I ain't majoring in anything but Hospitality Administration. Speaking of hospitality, we're going to have a good dinner tonight to honor our two scholarship boys," Kyle said. "Did y'all call Grandma and Grandpa? And Craig and Cherie?" "No. We wanted to wait until they're all home tonight. We can do a three-way with them on the speakerphone. Besides, half the time they keep their cells turned off," Tim said. "What are we having for dinner?" "Shitake mushrooms instead of steak," he said. "What?!" Justin said. "I hate mushrooms. You know that, Bubba. This is supposed to be a celebration for our boys, and you bought stuff I can't even eat." "They taste just like beef," Kyle said. "Not the ones I've tried. Plus, they grow in shit, Kyle. Literally. Cow shit," Justin said. "I'm going to wash 'em before I cook 'em," he said. "Well, that's a comfort. You changed my whole mood, just like that," Jus said, snapping his fingers. "Why'd you do that, Bubba?" I was shocked. Justin got this real disappointed and hurt look on his face. I was a hair away from telling Kyle to go back to the store and buy some real meat. Filets or something. "I did it to get your ass last," Kyle said. "Justin, you don't think I would dare not serve steak at something like this." "Yeah, well, I guess that's what you think of me, after all this time," he said. "Justin, I was playing with you, Bubba. I thought you knew that. I would never hurt you. I love you, Jus. Please don't be mad at me," Kyle said. He was upset. Brian and I looked at each other in near panic. What were we going to do? Kyle and Justin were staring at each other, and, all of a sudden, they burst into laughter. "Goddamn you, Davis. You miserable cocksucker. I hate everything about you," Kyle said, pretending to be angry. That was obvious. "No, you don't," Justin said. Kyle and Justin were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. "How you know I'm a miserable cocksucker, anyway? I think I'm a pretty damn good one," Justin said, between laughs and gasps for breath. By then, Brian and I were over our shock, and we were laughing, too. "I shouldn't have said that about your cocksucking ability, Jus. I didn't really mean it that way, anyhow. I saw what you did with that golf ball and that garden hose. That was awesome. No question about it," Kyle said. "That was nothing. Next time it's going to be a golf ball and a soda straw," Jus said. "I might even branch out and take on a basketball and a garden hose." We all laughed at their antics. In fact, we had the best time just making word play and being silly that afternoon. We didn't have a care in the world, and we were four pretty clever guys who loved one another and who loved to laugh. We waited until all fifteen guys were in the den around 6:30. Kyle had put out hors d'ouevres, and he and Justin had made drinks. That's when Brian and I announced our scholarships, and the place went crazy, especially when they found out their value in dollars and cents. "Do you have to pay tax on that?" Chuck asked. "I hope not," Kevin said. "That's major money, right there. Do you know, Babe?" "Yeah, I do know, and you don't. That's one of the few things you can 'win' and not have to pay tax on," Rick said. "I didn't have anything that good, but I went to college on a scholarship. It was called the Florida Academic Scholars Award, and it paid every dime in tuition at FSU." "I didn't know that, Rick," I said. "That's commendable." "Thanks, Tim. They weren't that hard to get, though; believe me," Rick said. "Yeah, but don't think his high school and college records weren't outstanding," Kevin said, "because they were." "Aw, shucks, Kevie," Rick said. "Rick, that scholarship you had is now called the Florida Bright Futures Scholarship, and I have one of those," Jeff said. "And you're right. They're not hard to get." "Do you guys know about the Goodson Scholarships at Emerald Coast Community College?" Kevin asked. Everybody in the room looked at Kyle. "Don't look at me. I don't know a thing in the world about 'em, and I damn sure don't have one," Kyle said. "Those are for the smart ones." "They're based on a combination of need and achievement, and they pay all tuition, fees, and books," Kevin said. "There are thirty of them every year, for two years each. They're endowed, which means they'll never go away." "Damn, that's pretty nice," Tyler said. "That's a great gift to the community, isn't it." "You guys have no idea what the Goodson family does for this community every year," Kevin said. "Kevin, please don't go there, okay? Because if you do, I'm leaving," Kyle said. He was dead serious, and, of course, if he left, I would leave, too. There was a really uncomfortable silence for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, Bubba," Kevin said. "I won't go there." "Who wants another drink?" Justin asked. "I need to get busy on that grill out there. Who's coming? If you want your steak well done, raise your hand. Otherwise, it's going to be medium rare," Kyle said. Nobody raised a hand. Kyle went into the kitchen, just as Jus was returning with fresh drinks. Brian, Justin and I followed Kyle. "That upset you back there, didn't it?" I asked Kyle. The four of us were standing around the grill just looking at it. "Yes, it did, and Kevin knows better than that. He's so fucking starry-eyed over my damn family. He wants to brag about us. I have never done a goddamn thing for this community. Not one fucking thing, but Kevin wants to give me credit for what my grandpa and my daddy have done. It's like I'm a good guy, just because I have the last fucking name of Goodson." "I ain't arguing with you, Kyle, but I happen to disagree. You're only nineteen years old, and you've already done a hell of a lot. Beachside High School is a model of tolerance for gay people in the South. Why? Two words. Kyle Goodson. Beachside High School is an A+ school. Two words. Kyle Goodson. Do I need to go on?" Justin said. "No. Shut up and gimme a smoke," Kyle said. He hadn't had one of those in a long time, so I knew he must really be upset. He coughed when he lit it, too. "Kyle, you need to calm down, okay?" Brian said. "The four of us are going to be together for the rest of our lives. We all love one another, and we'll support you to the death. But Kevin loves you and will support you to the death, too. And you know that. I can certainly understand why you don't like to talk about your family's money and fame and achievements. But let me tell you something, Bubba. I am so fucking proud that you love me and that you're my brother, I can't stand it sometimes. I've seen you and Justin argue so hard about your not being able to accept compliments that I've thought you guys were going to come to blows. This isn't really the same thing, but it's kind of related. We think Kevin and Rick are gods because they've done so much for all of us and the others. But they're not gods, Kyle. They're just ordinary guys, and they sometimes make mistakes." The four of us were quiet when Brian finished talking. Brian had said "fuck," and I think we were all a little stunned by that. "Hey, what's going on?" Rick said, as he came out to where we were. "I hope those steaks haven't been on the grill all this time." "We've been talking. I haven't put them on yet," Kyle said, his mood much brighter than it was when we had first gone outside. "Seven more minutes." He started slapping those steaks on the grill. "Are you okay, Kyle?" Rick asked. "You seemed pretty upset inside." "I'm fine, Bubba. It's just some stuff I need to work through," Kyle said. "You don't hate Kevin, do you?" Rick asked. "Rick! I love Kevin, and I love you. You guys are two of the most important people in my life. Is Kevin upset?" Kyle asked. "Because of the way I reacted, I mean?" "No, I don't think so. I think he's fine. I think he needed to hear what he heard tonight, but he's fine. He's in there laughing and joking with the others," Rick said. "Well, thank God for that," Kyle said. "These are about ready, I think." He started taking the steaks off the grill. The rest of the evening was pure fun. The food was delicious, and everybody was in a great mood to celebrate. We had to bring in a table and some chairs from the clubhouse so everybody could eat together in the dining room, but that wasn't a problem. We called the New Orleans relatives, and they were ecstatic. We tried to call Chris and David Uhle, too, but their line was always busy. We got through to Seth and Curt, and they were stunned at the news. We haven't really stayed in touch with Alex Stewart and Cody Mitchell, so we didn't call them. We did call Ron Grisham, but he wasn't home. We told his mother, though, and she said she'd tell Ron the news. She said she's getting married soon. "What about the cousins in Boston?" Kyle asked. "I'll let my dad tell them. He'll get a kick out of bragging. The same with my grandparents," I said Everybody went home around 9:30 because of work and school the next day, but it had been a great evening, on several fronts. * * * I was still basking in the glow of having won that scholarship when, later the same week, the rank-in-class listings came out. Kyle had never had a clue about his rank in class, and he wasn't interested. He wasn't anywhere close to the top anyway, so why would he be? But guys like Brian and I are very interested because we both want to be Number One in our classes. In fact, at the end of the previous year, we were. I prayed I was going to be valedictorian. They base it on the first seven semesters of high school for two reasons. First, because of the block schedule we use, a good many people have all the credits they need to graduate by the end of the first semester of their senior year. It's kind of tricky to get that, and it all depends on when in the year you have senior English. If you have it first semester, as half the seniors do, you can finish high school in January. If you have it second semester, you can't finish until May. Believe it or not, people actually pay one another to make schedule swaps so they can finish in January. Why? Jobs, of course. If you finish in January, you can have a full-time job second semester and during the summer, thereby making a lot more money for college or whatever. The ones who don't work full time go to community college. Some even start at a university. The second reason they only count the first seven semesters is that the second semester ends like a day or two before graduation. The valedictorian and salutatorian need time to write and rehearse their speeches. You can't do that very effectively if you find out for sure you are valedictorian or salutatorian the day before graduation. "And for all you students who care, or who even know what this means, the rank-in-class lists are now available in Guidance," Joey Constanza, the SGA president announced that morning. Joey is a friend of mine. He's no Kyle when it comes to being SGA president, but he is a really good guy. "Tim. Come here." I was in Mike Lawley's AP Calculus BC class. He handed me a pass. "Go to Guidance and find out," Mike said. "Thanks, Mike," I said. "What are brothers for?" Mike said, and he and I grinned at each other. I hustled my ass down to the Guidance Office, and there was already a mob of people in there. The lady at the door who was supposed to be checking passes just waved me in. She knew that the people in there at that moment were the best students in the school and that we weren't skipping class to check our ranks. In the past, you had to see your counselor to find out your rank in class, and you still do, but that day they had four easels set up, and the top ten in each class were hand-written on the pads, identified by Social Security number. I looked at the senior pad, and there I was. I was the fucking valedictorian! I let out a little "whoop!," and everybody laughed. "You're still Number One, aren't you?" Pat Kennedy, my friend and closest rival, said. "Yeah, but you're Number Two, aren't you?" I asked. He and I embraced in a hug. "I heard about the Tulane thing. Way to go, guy," he said. "I heard you got Stanford on early decision. Is that right?" I asked. "Yeah, but it's going to be UF for me, probably. Both of my parents are teachers, and they can't afford Stanford. I've got a Bright Futures sewed up, so that's where I'm probably going to go," he said. "There, or Emerald Coast." We both laughed. I saw Brian, so I elbowed my way into the junior list crowd. "Which one is yours?" I asked. "Number One," he said. "I figured it was," I said. I turned to him, picked him up, and hugged him. Brian was taller and heavier than I was, so I didn't do it long. "You're the val, right?" Brian asked. "Yeah. And you would be, too, if you were going to be here next year," I said. "I know. But you know our priorities," Brian said. "Brian, you are so incredible to me," I said. I'm sure he noticed the tears that were forming in my eyes. "Cut it out, Tim. Let me go. This is for home, okay?" he said. "Okay," I said quietly, and I broke the hug. I have never before had friends like Kyle, Justin, and Brian. With them, it's like it is real life. I mean, our collective friendships are going somewhere. I know there are probably going to be some rocky roads ahead, but I have an intuitive feeling that those three guys will be with me for life. I floated back to my class that day, happy in the knowledge that I am the valedictorian, but happier in the knowledge that Kyle, Justin and Brian will be with me forever.
Brian and Tim came home from school on Wednesday all excited because Tim is going to be the valedictorian. I didn't know exactly what that meant. I mean, I have been to exactly one graduation in my life, and that was Kyle's the year before. It was in a stadium, and I had spent most of my time scoping out the kids on the field with a pair of binoculars Kyle had lent me. That was all new to me. "Were you the valedictorian?" I asked Kyle. "Shit, I wasn't nothing," Kyle said. "You gave a speech," I said. "Yeah, but that was because I was SGA President. I don't hold a candle to those two," he said. "Is Tim going to give a speech?" I asked. "Yep. And so is Brian. Me and Miss Sally worked that out today. Alternative graduation. Wave of the future. Look, Brian was going to be the valedictorian of his class, no question. There are about thirty juniors doing what Brian is doing. I convinced her that Brian needs to give a speech, too. As the valedictorian of the people in his class graduating this year," he said. "For real?" I asked. "Yeah, for real. Miss Sally loves my ass, Justin. You know that. Well, I put it on the line today. Brian's going to be the val for his class, a year early. They'll have another val at graduation next year, too. Times are changing," he said. "Does Brian know this?" I asked. "Yeah, he knows," Kyle said. "Kyle, that was mighty nice of you to do that," I said. I got a little misty-eyed when I realized how much he cares for Brian. He hadn't had to do that for Brian, but I guess it showed how much he loves him. And loves me, too. I was truly touched. "It wasn't nice of me. It only makes sense. Why not do what makes sense?" he said. "Okay. It just makes sense," I said. "I'm doing it again, ain't I?" he said. "Yes, you are, Kyle. That was a damn nice thing for you to do, and you need to take credit for it. Don't play it down. It means everything to Brian, and it means a hell of a lot to me, too," I said. "Okay, Bubba. You're welcome. How's that?" "That's just fine, Kyle," I said.
When I came to Emerald Beach, I was only fourteen years old, and I was scared to death. I had been kicked out of my home, been put in two different foster homes, and been brought in by the cops for sleeping in the dugout at the ballpark after I had run away from the second foster home because the guy tried to rape me. I literally had nothing but the clothes on my back when I got to Kevin and Rick's house, and it had been two days since I had eaten the Big Mac and fries the trucker who gave me a lift had bought for me. I knew I was attracted to boys and wanted sex with them, and not with girls, but I had no idea of the implications of that fact for my life. Above it all, I had no hope for the future. I was nothing but a throwaway. Then Kevin and Rick came into the picture. Tim, Kyle, and Justin were already on the scene, and together the five of them made me feel like I was real, that I really existed as a person. I felt safe for the first time in a very long time, and I knew they loved me. It didn't take me long to adjust, either. I had a lot to overcome, and some people believe that it takes years of therapy and nurturing to get over a background like mine. That might be true for some people, but it wasn't true for me. As soon as I figured out they weren't going to rape me or be mean to me, I got happy. I came to North Lagoon Drive about nine weeks into my freshman year of high school. Now, two and a half years later, I'm all set to graduate at the top of my class, a year early, and I have a full scholarship to college. I'm in love with the most wonderful guy in the world, and he and I are committed to each other forever. I have friends that I know would cheerfully give their lives to save mine, and I would cheerfully do the same for them. I don't have the world, but I have everything I could ever want. "What are you thinking about? You look mighty serious," Justin said. He and I were in our room. I had been trying to do my calculus homework, and he had been reading something for school. "I'm thinking about my life," I said. "What about your life, Little Buddy? Are you unhappy?" he asked, his concern obvious in his voice. "Just the opposite, Buddy. I don't think I could be any happier than I am right now," I said. "That's what I was thinking about." "Me, either," he said. "You and I are an unlikely pair, aren't we?" "Not really, Jus. I'm totally turned on by tough masculinity, and that's you. You're good looking, smart, funny, kind, generous, affectionate, and the muscles don't hurt any, either. I take it you go for the more intellectual type," I said. "Yeah, I guess I do. You're very masculine, too, though, Brian. I can't analyze things the way you and Tim can, so I can't say exactly why I love you. I just do. That's all. And I'm so damn proud of you I can't stand it, okay?" His voice broke, and tears started streaming down his face. I knew those were happy tears, and that made me start, too. He got up from his chair and got on the bed with me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me gently. I don't think it is possible to feel closer, safer, or more loved than I did at that moment. We kissed, but that evening wasn't about sex or a union of bodies. It was about a union of souls. |