It took a few weeks, but I finally closed on my rental property right after Christmas. I ended up buying three three-bedroom condos in a high rise and two houses. Both of the houses are old, and one of them needs to be painted, inside and out. Thanks to Mr. Cliff, Mr. Emery, and Mr. Dan, my little rental empire is underway. Now I just have to hope and pray the damn things will rent. Tim and I really like Todd, the new boy. He is very handsome, but mostly he's just plain nice. He's also a very good athlete. "Are you going to play sports for school?" Tim asked him a couple of days after he got there. "I'd like to play baseball," he said. "Is there a freshman team?" "Only in football," Tim said. "It's just JV and varsity in the other sports. I tried out for JV when I was a freshman, but I didn't make it." "Did you try out again as a sophomore?" Todd asked. "No. I started working the summer after my freshman year, and I didn't play summer ball. Kyle and I worked together as the pool boy and the beach boy at a motel," Tim said. "Is that how y'all met?" he asked. "No. We had started dating in January. In about two weeks, it's going to be three years for us. Did you realize that, Babe?" I said. "You guys have been dating for three years?" Todd asked. He sounded a little surprised. "Well, I don't call the way we are now dating. We figure this is it for us. We live together. We're a couple, man," I said. "That's amazing. You guys are high school sweethearts," he said. "Exactly. You don't know that you won't find you a young boy that you'll fall head over heels in love with when school starts back. There's a lot of fish in that big, gay sea out there. Sort of like rainbow trout, you know?" He and Tim laughed. "Kyle, you said I could ask questions about sex," Todd said. "Sure. What's on your mind?" I asked. "How long do most guys date before they have sex?" Todd asked. "That's a very good question, but I don't think there's a single answer for it. I can tell you about us. It was about two months. Ain't that right, Babe?" Tim nodded. "But I know some guys think dating and having sex are the same thing. I mean, first time out, there they both come," I said. "It depends on what you're comfortable with." "Do you guys have anal sex?" he asked. "Yeah, now we do, but it was a long time before we started doing that. Anal sex is a big hang-up for a lot of guys, Todd. We don't do it like that every time, by any means. But it doesn't hurt us anymore. In fact, it never did hurt all that much. Maybe the first couple or three times, and then only at the start of it," I said. "Do you guys use condoms?" he asked. "No, we don't, and here's why. Neither one of us has ever had anal sex or oral sex with another guy. So, we practice safe sex, but we do it through total monogamy. Justin and Brian do use condoms, even though Justin's been tested for HIV five times, and he turns up negative every time. But Justin's had unprotected sex. It was a few years ago, but he doesn't want to take any chances. That's good sense, to me. A young boy like you starting out, and the two of you both virgins, you don't need a condom. But if you don't know he's a virgin 100% positive, y'all wrap 'em up," I said. "Justin told me one time that he plans to get tested for HIV every six months for ten years," Tim said. "Are they a monogamous couple?" Todd asked. "Oh, yeah. So are Kevin and Rick. I don't want to go into too much of Justin's background, but he was severely sexually abused for about three years. Until we found him that summer we worked at the motel. That was two and a half years ago. That's how long the three of us have been friends. Brian came at the end of October that fall, and he and Justin became a couple around my birthday, wasn't it?" I said. "Yeah. They just had their two-year. Don't you remember they had that big deal about who was going to take out who?" Tim asked. "Yeah, I remember that now," I said. "So who took out who?" Todd asked. "They couldn't ever decide, so they did it Dutch treat. Tim and I went with them. You have to know something about the four of us. We're tight. Best friends all around. We love those boys, and they love us, too," I said. "It's pretty obvious you guys are very close friends," Todd said. "I know a lot of people, but I don't know if they're real friends. I went to public school until this school year, and all the people I knew there have sort of vanished from my life. My dad didn't let me do anything with friends after I came out last August, so I wasn't able to have any real friendships with the kids at the private school I went to this last semester" "Do you have any brothers and sisters?" I asked. "Two sisters, ages eleven and eight. Not much companionship there. I mean, we get along okay and all, but they're girls, you know? They're not interested in doing what I'm interested in doing. They know I'm gay and all, if they even know what that means. How could they not know it? My dad and I have had so many arguments about it," Todd said. "Is your mom okay with you being gay? She seemed to be," Tim asked. "She's wonderful, and so is my grammy. It's just him," he said. "Around here, if you say you're gay, you're gay. Can't nobody know that but you. It's the same with our gay friends, too," I said. "Do you have a lot of gay friends?" he asked. "Quite a few," I said. "There are four next door, for instance. And the Townhouse Boys, of course, plus a lot more." "Who are the Townhouse Boys?" he asked. "They're your four older brothers. They just got married December 26th. They're on their honeymoon right now," I said. "Really? They got married?" he asked. "Well, not legally. You can't do that here. It was a commitment ceremony, really. Two couples. Not all four of them together. We consider that marriage, though. We had it at a hotel, and our priest said the ceremony," I said. "Are you guys Episcopalians? That's what I am, too," he said. "We're Catholics. Well, most of us, anyway. Kevin, Rick, Kyle, Brian and I. Justin's taking instructions to become one right now. Sean's an agnostic, Murray's a Jew, and I don't know what Denny is. Maybe nothing. I just don't know. They all go to Mass with us, though, only the ones who aren't Catholic don't receive communion," Tim said. "Our parish in Houston is very High Church," Todd said. "What does that mean?" I asked. "Among Episcopalians, if you're High Church, that means the services and beliefs are very similar to Catholics. Low Church is more similar to Protestants, like the Methodists," he said. "Before I became a Catholic, I was a Presbyterian. My daddy says wine might be a sacrament in the Catholic Church, but the Presbyterians are the only ones that have a whiskey drink named after them," I said. "He orders 'em, too. Doesn't he, Tim? It's not a bad drink, either." My cell rang just then. "Hello," I said. "Hey. What are you doing?" "Tim's sucking my cock. Make it quick," I said. Ole Todd's eyes got as big around as dinner plates when he heard me say that. "For real?" "No, not for real, asshole. Although that ain't a bad idea," I said. "That must be Philip," Tim said. "Yeah, it is," I said. "What?" Philip asked. "Tim just said 'That must be Philip,' and I said, 'Yeah, it is.' So when are you and Ryan getting your sorry asses over here, huh? I figured y'all had family stuff before now. We damn sure did," I said. "I was just calling to see if you were home. We're coming right now. I'll see your ugly face in ten minutes," he said. "Oh, so you heard about the disfiguring scars I got in the accident?" I said. "What? What the fuck are you talking about?" "They kept it out of the paper and off the TV, so it's no wonder your daddy didn't tell you about it. He doesn't know," I said. "We're on our way. Bye," he said. "Bye." Tim and Todd were both laughing hard. "Who was that?" Todd asked. "That's an ole boy I've been best friends with all my life. Turns out he's gay, too. His partner is Ryan Pettis, another boy I've been friends with since forever. The three of us wasted a lot of our youth being scared to tell each other we were gay," I said. Tim explained Got You Last to Todd. "You're a rat, Kyle. I mean, seriously," Todd said, but he was laughing. "He said he'd see my ugly face in ten minutes. I couldn't resist," I said. "Isn't he going to be mad at you?" Todd asked. "Maybe, maybe not. If he is mad, it wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure," I said. I learned that day that Philip Andrews, my best friend for all these years, is nothing but a miserable shithead asshole. We were in the clubhouse, and I was in a chair with my back to the door. He and Ryan snuck in with a goddamn paper bag from the grocery store. Tim and Todd had to have cooperated on this. That's the only way I figure it could have happened. Philip got up behind me and dropped that paper bag over my head. "I can't see the scars," he said real loud. Scared the fucking shit out of me! I didn't know what the fuck had happened. "Goddamn it, Philip!" I screamed. He and Ryan and Tim and Todd were laughing so hard I thought they were going to piss their pants. "Got ya last," Philip said, laughing and grinning his fool face off, after I ripped that damn bag off my head. He started tickling me. "Get off me, Andrews. You fag. Cut it out," I screamed. "You tried to set me up for Got You Last, didn't you? I knew there hadn't been any fucking accident, you dumb shit. You saw my daddy yesterday, Kyle. Remember? You had to sign some papers? I swear to God, Kyle. You take the fucking cake," Philip said. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that," I said. "At least give me a hug, you dumb fuck," Philip said, and we hugged big time. I hugged Ryan, too, and they both hugged Tim. "So who's this?" Philip asked, meaning Todd. "Aren't you going to introduce us? Huh? Is this what you're thinking with right now." He pulled on my dick when he said that. "Give me time, Philip. First you scare me nearly to death. I mean, I'm surprised I ain't dead on this floor right now. Then you start molesting me. And then . . . " I couldn't even get it all out, I was laughing so hard. "Tim, I feel sorry for you. To be linked up with this one? Bless your heart, Bubba," Philip said. "I know. We never have any fun," Tim said. "Anyway, Philip and Ryan, this is our new brother, Todd . . . what?" "Todd Griffin," Todd said. "Pleased to meet you, Todd. Son, you have come into the Slough of Despond. This fucker don't even know your name. You call me when you need help, okay? I can tame this beast," Philip said. "Is it like this all the time?" Todd asked. "Yeah. Pretty much, with these two," Ryan said. "Have you checked the family Web site lately? I just put up some pictures of you diving. Have you seen 'em?" I asked. "Kyle, I've been so damn busy, I haven't taken a shit in three days," Philip said. "I believe you. I can smell it from here," I said. Ole Todd was laughing his ass off. I guess he came from a pretty up-tight family where there wasn't a lot of laughter. "Would y'all like something to drink? A coke or a beer? Whiskey?" I asked. "I'll have a beer," Philip said. "Me, too," Ryan said. "What about you, Todd? A beer? I know you want a coke," I said to Tim. "I've never had a beer," Todd said. "Have you ever tasted beer?" I asked. "I've tasted wine at church, but I've never tasted any other alcohol," Todd said. "You ought to taste a beer," I said. "Even if you don't finish it. It's a cultural thing," I said. "Okay," he said. "I'll have a beer, too." Philip walked into the kitchen with me to get the drinks. "What's up with him? He's never even tasted beer?" Philip asked. "He's only fourteen," I said. "I know you and I had drunk plenty of beer by the time we were fourteen, but this boy's been sheltered. His daddy wouldn't let him go out with his friends." "He's only fourteen? Jesus, I thought he was our age," Philip said. "I wish I had looked that good and that old at fourteen." "You don't look that good or that old now," I said. "I knew you were going to say that, Kyle," Philip said. "You'd have ruined my day, if you hadn't." I laughed. "Did y'all have a good Christmas?" I asked. "It was all right. One of the things you're going to find out when you and Tim move away from here is when you come home you got to split your time. That's why we weren't over here any sooner. You got your grandmas, your grandpas, your aunts, your uncles. Man, that's a lot of people you got to spend time with. And it's on two sides, too. They about wore my ass out," he said. Philip lit up a cigarette, and he offered me his pack. "Thanks, but I don't really use 'em that much anymore," I said. "I never did think of you as a regular smoker," he said. "I used to be. I smoked every day," I said. "Yeah, two or three," he said. "How much do you smoke?" I asked. "I'm up to about a half a pack a day now. Ryan, too," he said. "That still ain't that much, you know," I said. "I know, and that's where I want to keep it, too. I think my daddy smokes about two packs a day," he said. "That's a lot. That's an expensive habit, too," I said. "You telling me? I paid five bucks for a pack of cigarettes the other night," he said. "Of course, it was at a club, and they kind of had me held hostage, as far as cigarettes were concerned." "I'd rather smoke other things," I said. "Are you smoking weed, Kyle?" "I haven't done that shit since that night you and I swore off. Have you broken your word on that, Philip?" "No, sir, I have not. Have you?" "No. I just told you that," I said. "Kyle, you said you'd rather smoke other things? What the hell you been smoking? Crack?" "I was talking about smoking dick, asshole," I said. "You shithead. I hate you, Kyle," Philip said. "I hear those exact words from Justin Davis five, six times a day," I said. "Where is that stud, anyway? Why ain't he here?" "I think he and Brian took the dogs out to the woods. They're probably hunting. My daddy got a lease this year, and we've been hunting some," I said. "Deer or bird?" "Bird. Those are bird dogs," I said. "Kyle, you couldn't pick up the fucking phone and call your oldest friend in the whole fucking world and say, 'Hey, Philip. We're going huntin' on my daddy's lease. You want to go?' Huh?" "If I called you once, I called you ten times about that, Philip. Do you ever listen to your fucking messages? Huh?" "No. Don't get mad, dude," he said. "Me get mad? You're the one screaming down my neck, man. Do you read your email?" "No," he said. "The only things I know to do is to call you and to send you email. If you don't check your messages and you don't read your email, how are we supposed to communicate? Huh?" I was mad a little bit. "You could send me snail mail," he said. "Do you even know where your snail mailbox is?" "No, but Ryan does. He'd get it for me," Philip said. "Philip, you know what?" "What?" he asked. "You are pathetic. But you know what else?" "What?" he asked again. "You're still my best friend, and I still love you. And I always will," I said. I grabbed him up in a big hug. I started getting hard, and so did he, but we didn't have a sexual thing between us. "What the hell's going on in here?" Ryan demanded. He, Tim, and Todd were at the door of the kitchen. "It's just two old friends who love each other dearly getting reacquainted," Philip said. "Reacquainted, my ass. We heard every word y'all said. Or screamed, more like it. Come on. I'm parched. I need a beer to quench my thirst," Ryan said.
I had never been around guys like Kyle and Philip. Before I came here, I had no gay friends whatsoever, at least that I knew of, and being around those guys was a total eye-opener for me. First of all, they were incredibly funny. That business with the paper bag was hilarious. But they just seemed so normal. The thing that had scared me the most about being gay was that I thought I wasn't going to be a normal guy, who liked normal "guy" things. But those guys are normal, everyday guys who just happen to be gay. "Who wants to shoot pool?" Philip asked. "I do," Kyle said. "I don't," Tim said. "I'm going to read and maybe have a little nap. Have fun with your friends, Babe." They kissed, and that was so awesome to me. I had never seen two guys kiss before. Wow! "If we go out later to eat, do you want to go?" Kyle asked him. "Why don't you rustle up some leftovers for us later?" he said. "There's a ton of food, isn't there?" "Okay, I will. That's a good idea," Kyle said. "I'll get you up, if you're asleep." "Okay," Tim said. He yawned, and then he left. "Strip pool. Same rules," Kyle said. "Count what you got on. I'm wearing underwear, jeans, tee shirt, and two shoes, so five pieces for me. Except you can keep your shoes. You need those for traction." "I got the same," Philip said "The same here, too, except I've got on socks," Ryan said. "Take 'em off. What about you?" Kyle asked me. "The same, except I've got on a tee shirt and this top shirt. And socks, too. "Take off the socks and the top shirt. Everybody starts even. If you scratch, you strip, one piece of clothes at a time," Kyle said. "Eight Ball, deuces wild." "What the hell does that mean?" Ryan asked. "It doesn't mean anything. That's just some of his bullshit," Philip said. "We're playing Eight Ball." "Are we going to lag for break?" Ryan asked. I wasn't sure what that meant. In fact, I had never heard that before. "No. We're going to break by age. You're the oldest, Philip. You're a month older than me," Kyle said. "I'm second. Ryan, you're third, and, Todd, you're last." We shot pool, and those boys were intense. They were good, too. I knew I was out of my league. But it didn't matter if you won or lost when it came to losing clothes. It was just if you scratched. They all got a second beer, but I didn't really like the way mine tasted, so I got a coke on the second round. Philip scratched first, and he took off his shirt. "Whoa. Look at that stuff. Does that make you hard, Todd?" Kyle said. I was laughing too hard to reply. "Nobody gets hard looking at somebody's chest, dumbass," Philip said. "Oh, yeah? Tell that to the straight boys looking at the girls," Kyle said. "Hell, I got half hard right before Thanksgiving when we were playing strip pool with some girls." "I forgot about the straight boys looking at girls' tits. But they wouldn't get hard looking at this chest," he said, rubbing his belly. Maybe the straight boys wouldn't, but the gay boys would. In fact, I was, watching him do that. He had a tattoo on the top of his arm, and I thought that was really hot. "Who's next? Take your shot," Kyle said. "I think that's you, Todd. Take your shot." I took my shot, and I scratched, too. I had to take my shirt off. Kyle was the big loser that afternoon. At the beginning of the third game, before anybody had sunk a ball, Kyle scratched. He had to take off his bikini briefs. He had a little tattoo of a monkey right about his briefs, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of it. "I don't care. Philip and Ryan, y'all have seen it all a thousand times before, and you've touched it a few times, too. Do I need to name and point out the parts to you?" "No, Kyle. You're right. We have seen all of that a million times before, and it's the same as everybody else's," Philip said. "Let me take my shot." "Wait a minute. Let's put some money on this game, Philip. How about twenty bucks? If I win, you pay me twenty. If you win, I pay you twenty. If one of these guys wins, the bet's off," Kyle said. "You're on, Kyle," Philip said. I had never shot pool with a naked guy before, and I had never shot with guys who bet on the game. In fact, I had only gotten glimpses of naked guys in the shower room at school. I was learning so much. Philip didn't scratch, and Kyle moved around the table like he wasn't really naked. He had a very large penis, and it stayed soft the entire game. Mine would have been hard the whole time. Kyle won, though. I mean he won the game and won the money. Philip flipped out his wallet and paid Kyle off. "There goes my Christmas," Philip said. "That was my Christmas present, Kyle." "I hate it. You should have played better pool." "I know," Philip said. "His real gift was his new Corolla. His Andrews grandmother gave him fifty dollars, Kyle, along with the ten thousand she put away for him. She gave me ten grand, too, only I got to have mine right away. She's a fucking millionaire," Ryan said. "I know she is. You got a new car? Let's go look at it," Kyle said. "It's at the house. We were at Ryan's, so we came here in his car," Philip said. "Is it nice?" Kyle asked. "Yeah. It's real nice. Dark blue. Kind of navy blue," Philip said. "It's got a great stereo in it, too." "I think Toyota makes the best cars," Kyle said. "I love my Land Cruiser. I used to want a Jeep like Tim's got, but not anymore. It's fun to drive his, but it's not very practical." "Is your car a lease?" Philip asked. "Yeah. That's the only way my daddy buys cars," Kyle said. "Mine, too," Philip said. "Technically, the company owns the lease, and I just drive it." "Same here," Kyle and Ryan both said. "I meant to ask you. What kind of business did you have with my daddy?" Philip asked. "I bought some houses," Kyle said. "Actually, three condos and two houses. Rentals." "How'd you pay for those? Did your daddy give you the money?" Ryan asked. "Indirectly, yeah, but I bought 'em with the money I get every month from my trust fund," Kyle said. "You get money every month? Shit, mine's all tied up until I turn twenty-one," Philip said. "That's why I didn't even see the ten thousand I got from my grandma for Christmas. I hate trust funds." "Mine, too," Ryan added. "True, I got the ten grand from Philip's grandma, but I didn't get a dime in cash from my family. It all got sucked into the trust fund." I couldn't believe these guys. Trust funds?! Wow! I knew there was money around because of the house we lived in and all, but I thought Kyle was poor, just like the others in the family. Most of them, anyway. I knew he had a nice car, but I figured he was paying for that every month, like most people do. "I started getting paid every month when I turned eighteen," Kyle said. "But I don't want to talk about that. Let's go scare up some leftovers or something. Are y'all hungry?" It was about five o'clock in the afternoon, and I definitely was feeling a little hungry. "Where did all these leftovers come from?" Philip asked. "Did y'all have a big party or something?" "Well, of course we did. Jeff and them's wedding," Kyle said. "Oh, that's right. My mama said it was real nice," Philip said. "I'm sorry we couldn't be here for it. Now she's starting to put the pressure on me and Ryan to do the same thing." "We're going to do it, eventually," Kyle said. "We will, too. I want something small, though. Nothing like what they had," Philip said. "That big thing was my mama's doings," Kyle said. "Of course, I planned it, so I guess it was my doings, too." "My parents had a good time at it," Ryan said. "They said the food was awesome. They said you and your daddy slow danced. Is that right?" "Yeah, we did. It was fun, too," Kyle said. "A lot of men were slow dancing together." I couldn't imagine my father ever dancing with me. Or hugging me, for that matter. "Did Mr. Gene pop a woody?" Philip asked. "Naw, I told him not to," Kyle said. He and Ryan laughed hard at that. "What's going on out here?" Justin bellowed. "What's all this racket?" He and Brian came into the kitchen of the clubhouse where we were getting the leftovers ready. "Hey, Bubba!" Philip and Ryan said in unison. Then the four guys hugged each other. "Have you guys been hunting?" Philip asked. "Yeah," Justin said. "Did you do any good?" "The dogs flushed two small coveys, and we hit a few. We put 'em in the freezer in the house. We played with the dogs more than we hunted," Justin said. "Where's the lease?" Philip asked. "It's up in Washington County, near Vernon," Kyle said. "If you got any time, we can go. Do you hunt, Todd?" "I've never been hunting. I've never fired a gun, either," I said. "We'll teach you," Ryan said. "Do you like being outdoors?" "Yeah," I said. "Well, it's a lot of fun, especially with these two," Justin said, pointing to the dogs. "Brian's got 'em trained so good." "So, are we going hunting or not, Philip?" Kyle asked. "Yeah. I reckon we could go tomorrow. Can you go tomorrow?" "Yeah, I can go tomorrow. Let me go inside and get Tim and the rest of them," Kyle said. * * * "So, where you from, Todd?" Philip asked after Kyle left the room. "I'm from Texas. Houston," I said. "Are you gay?" Ryan asked. "All the rest of 'em around here are gay." "Yes," I said. "Two days ago I would have told you 'no,' but here it seems so natural." "Ryan and I go to FSU in Tallahassee, and we don't hesitate to come out to people, if the subject comes up, which it really doesn't very often. I think more and more, people just don't give a shit. Except the closet cases who are scared to be gay. Some of 'em even marry women," Philip said. "So I take it you're not out," Ryan said. "Only to my parents, grandmother, and two little sisters. Well, and to all of you now. I came out at home last August, and it's been pretty rough since then at home with my dad. My grandmother knows Kevin and Rick and the guys, and she's the one who suggested I might be better off living here for a while," I said. "So far it's been fantastic." "You won't find better people than the people in this house," Philip said. "Have you met Kyle's parents yet?" "They're in New York," Brian said. "Oh, that's right. They always go on a trip after Christmas. They just about raised me," Philip said. "They're some of the greatest people on this earth. They had another son, Clay, who died. He was also a very good friend. I still think about him a good bit." "Kyle does, too," Justin said. "Hey, do you fellows want a drink before we eat?" "That sounds good," Ryan said. "What you got? We've been drinking beer, but I'm ready to switch to whiskey." "What you want? I think we got just about every kind of liquor there is," Justin said. "Do you think you could make a Presbyterian? Kyle was talking about that before," I asked. "A what?" "Presbyterian. I've heard of that. That's what Kyle's daddy drinks," Philip said. "I'll get a recipe," Brian said. He went to the computer in the main room of the clubhouse and came back with a printed recipe in a couple of minutes. "Here it is," he said, handing the sheet of paper to Justin. Justin read it aloud. Ingredients: · 1 oz Blended Whiskey · Coca-Cola · Ginger ale · 1 slice Lemon Mixing instructions: Pour blended whiskey into a highball glass filled with ice cubes. Fill with equal parts of cola and ginger ale and stir well. Add the slice of lemon and serve. "Does anybody know what blended whiskey is?" Justin asked. "Yeah, I do. Let me find a bottle of it," Philip said. He went to a cabinet that was crammed full of liquor of all kinds. He came back with a bottle. "Use this, Jus. This'll be good. I hope y'all got ginger ale and a lemon," he said. "Yeah, we got that." Justin and Philip made the drinks, and Justin handed me one. I tasted it, and it was very good. It was much better than that beer had been. "This ain't a bad drink," Justin said. "Let me taste it, Buddy," Brian said, and he took a taste. "You're right. It's real sweet, but it's sort of lemony at the same time," Brian said. "You want one?" Justin asked. "Naw. I just wanted to taste yours," he said. "This is a day of firsts for me. First beer, first game of strip pool, first taste of whiskey, first time I've seen guys bet on a pool game. It's so ironic. I'm in a totally gay environment, and I feel more like a real man than I ever have in my life," I said. "How about the first cigarette? Have you had one yet?" Justin asked. "No," I said. "Here, have one of mine," Justin said. I knew it was totally stupid of me, but I had wanted to try smoking a cigarette for a long time. I knew there were freshmen at my old school who smoked, but I had never been in a situation before where I had the opportunity. I took one of Justin's cigarettes. He showed me how to light it and how to smoke it. Needless to say, I coughed my head off. They all laughed, but I knew it was because it was funny and not because they were making fun of me. "You sucked the smoke in too deep, Todd. Just a little until you get used to it," Ryan said. I tried it again, and that time I didn't cough. In a couple of seconds, I got this full-body tingle, and my head got a little light. I didn't like that feeling, although it wasn't really unpleasant. I took another puff, and that one was much easier. I was getting more lightheaded, though. I went ahead and put it out. "Now, see. You've smoked a cigarette. You don't ever have to do that again, if you don't want to, but you've done it," Justin said. "Now we just need to get you laid and tattooed, and you'll be just like the rest of us." "Do you have a tattoo?" I asked. "Yeah. Right down here," he said, pointing to the same general area as Kyle's tattoo. "Brian's got one, too, and both of them's got 'em," he said, pointing to Philip and Ryan. "I think tattoos are really cool," I said. "We do, too. But not too many. I might get one on my arm where theirs are, but that would be it for me. What about you, Little Buddy?" Justin asked Brian. "Yeah, I could stand one on my arm, but it would have to be high up, like Philip's and Ryan's," Brian said. "I might get one when I graduate from medical school. I want it to mean something. The one I have means I'm in love with Justin. But just random stuff on my body? Naw." "Do you want to go to medical school?" "Yeah. Tim does, too. We want to go to Tulane University and then Tulane Medical School," Brian said. "Cool. My parents are both doctors," I said. "Kevin's parents are both doctors, and Tim's dad is an oral surgeon. He's a dentist, though, not an M.D.," Brian said. Every little bit like that I picked up sort of changed my perception of where I was, and maybe who I was. I had already figured out that the kids in the house were basically pretty smart, although the grammar of Justin and Kyle, and to a lesser extent, Rick, wasn't very good. We had studied a unit on the theme of illusion versus reality in literature in my English class first semester, and I now wondered if that was what I was caught up in. I made a mental list. Illusion Reality All gay guys are effeminate little fairies that don't like sports and like to shop all the time. The gay guys in the house are very masculine, or most of them, anyway, and they like to hunt and shoot pool. And drink, of course. All gay guys are depressed and isolated from the people around them. The gay guys in the house are happy and have tons of friends. Almost no one is gay. Tons of people are gay. All gay guys are on the outs with their families. Most of the gay guys in the house who have families have great relationships with their families. All fathers of gay guys hate their sons. The father of at least one gay guy in the house did a slow dance with his son in public. All gay guys are promiscuous and can't commit to a life partner. Six gay guys in the house are in committed, long-term relationships, and four gay guys associated with the house have just made a public commitment to their partners. All gay guys love cats. The gay guys in the house love dogs. Hunting dogs. The parents of all gay guys hate their sons' boyfriends. The parents of Philip and Ryan are putting pressure on them to make a public declaration of their love for each other. I had read on the "Car Talk" Web site that the Volkswagen Jetta is the ultimate "gay" car. The guys I met drive Jeeps and pickup trucks and Toyota Land Cruisers and Mazdas and Suburbans and Celicas and Corollas. All gay guys want to be hairdressers or interior decorators. Brian and Tim want to be doctors. My mind was being blown by the minute. The rest of the guys came into the clubhouse just then. "Is the food ready?" Kyle asked, rather loudly, to be heard. "What have you been doing, Kyle? It doesn't take forty-five minutes to wake somebody up," Phillip said. "None of your business, that's what," Kyle said. "Are we ready to eat?" "The food's all out. Have at it. I'm having another drink, though, first. We're drinking Presbyterians, and that's a good drink," Justin said. "Oh, yeah? You figured out how to make 'em?" "Brian got the recipe from the Internet. Do you want me to make you one?" Justin asked. "Yeah, please. I know it's a good drink. I've tasted 'em before," Kyle said. Kevin and Rick hugged up Philip and Ryan big time when they came into the room. It was obvious they were friends. Philip and Ryan shook hands with Denny like they knew him, and Kevin introduced Murray and Sean to them. Justin made drinks for Kyle, Sean, and Kevin, but he gave cokes to the other boys. Kyle went over to the thermostat and adjusted it. Then he went outside and brought in an armload of logs for the fireplace. He lit a fire, and we all sort of gathered around it. One by one we went into the kitchen and fixed our plates. The fire was our focus, and we talked of this and that. Florida State was going to play in the Fiesta Bowl that was coming up in a few days, and that got a lot of attention. I'm more of an Oklahoma fan than a Florida State fan, but I kept my mouth shut. I was in Florida, in the home of two Florida State graduates, so I didn't dare voice my support for Oklahoma. As the evening was winding down, Kyle said, "Eagles, stand up." I wasn't sure I knew what he was talking about. "Hands up, Eagles," and Philip, Ryan, Tim, Brian, and Kyle raised their fists above their heads. They were all standing up. "Round about the council fireside," Kyle intoned. He seemed to have the perfect pitch of that song. I knew that song. I jumped to my feet and raised my fist. I'm an Eagle Scout, and I knew what that meant. I was the youngest Eagle in my troop, but my brothers were here with me. Tears were streaming down my face. I was so happy. "We have met in comradeship tonight," I sang. We finished that song, and all of us were crying. Then Kyle started singing Taps. He sang it by himself. Taps Day is done, gone the sun,From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.Fading light, dims the sight,And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright.From afar, drawing nigh, falls the night.Thanks and praise, for our days,'Neath the sun, 'neath the stars, 'neath the sky;As we go, this we know, God is nigh.Sun has set, shadows come,Time has fled, Scouts must go to their bedsAlways true to the promise that they made.While the light fades from sight,And the stars gleaming rays softly send,To thy hands we our souls, Lord, commend. "That was fucking beautiful, Kyle," Philip said, and he kissed Kyle on the forehead. "When you started singing 'Round About,' that was our whole childhood, man. And when you made the Eagles stand up, that was more than I could handle. I'm too emotional right now. And Todd stood up with us. He's an Eagle, too. He knew." "Kyle, I'm a fucking basket case," Ryan said. "All the years of friendship and fun kind of came together for me tonight. I love you, Kyle." I noticed Kevin and Rick, and Denny, Murray, and Sean slip out. It was as though they were leaving the Scouts alone in the clubhouse. Justin isn't an Eagle Scout, evidently, but he stayed with Brian, who is. I had a couple of more Presbyterians that night, and we all slept in the clubhouse, mostly on the floor. I knew I had truly come to where I belonged. |