I felt bad about not being able to stay home on Wednesday night to get to know Murray, but at least the rain made them come home early enough so we had some time together. I knew the boys would look after him, but Rick and I were his parents, not the boys. It just couldn't be helped, though. Rick and I both came home earlier than usual on Thursday because we were going out that night. The boys were in the den, waiting for us. There were two big pieces of news. The first was Murray. He had on shorts and a tee shirt, and he was sitting on the floor with Brian, trying to teach Krewe a new trick. If I hadn't known who he was, I don't think I would have recognized him. He had shaved, gotten a haircut, dyed his hair brown, and cleaned up his fingernails. He had even taken the stud out of his nose. They all told me "hi" when I walked in with a cup of coffee from the kitchen. "Hi," I said. "So, Murray, how was your first day at work?" He had a kind of red underglow to his skin, and it made him look healthy. I didn't think he was burned, but he had definitely gotten some sun. He looked good. "It was fun," he said. "Denny and I spent the whole day checking out guys." The way he said it was cute, and we all laughed a little. "Where is Denny?" I asked. "He's in the study on the phone with Brady," Brian said. "I think they're having a little tiff, but don't say I told you." "Okay," I said. "How did all this happen to you, Murray? You look marvelous, by the way." Murray grinned when I said that, and I think he was actually proud of how he looked. And he should have been. "I owe it all to Kyle," he said. "He told me about the long fingernail on my little finger, and what it stands for, and I want you to know I do not use drugs." I didn't know what he was talking about, and I really hadn't noticed a long fingernail. "Good, Bubba. We don't do drugs in this family," I said. "He don't know what the hell you're talking about, Murray," Justin said. "But I do. I noticed that fingernail, and I'm glad to see it's gone." "I really didn't know that, Justin. I promise," Murray said. "Will somebody please tell me what the hell y'all are talking about," Rick grumbled. Kyle told us about guys growing one fingernail long to use to snort cocaine. I had seen men with long fingernails like he described, but I hadn't known the reason for it. I guess I was more naive than I thought I was. Denny came into the den from the study. He had a cheerful look on his face. "Is everything okay with you, Denny?" I asked. "Now it is," he said. He sat down on the floor next to Brian. "Tim and Brian got some news today," Kyle said. "Oh, yeah? What?" Rick asked. "The College Board reported out scores today," Tim said. "Oh, oh," Justin said. "Shut up. We're happy about them," Brian said. "Okay. Who's going first?" Rick asked. "I will," Brian said. "On my AP exams, I got a 5 in biology, a 4 in European History, and this is the best part, a 5 in English," he said. Tim started clapping, and we all joined in. "That's not all. I took the SAT in June, when Tim did, and his total score and my total score were exactly the same," Brian said. "What'd you get?" Justin demanded, grumbling. "I want Tim to tell you," Brian said. "Come on, guys. Hurry this up. There's so much tension and suspense in here right now, I got a damn hard-on," Justin said. Murray's eyes got saucer-size when Justin said that, and we all laughed, both at what Justin had said and at Murray's reaction. "We say stuff like that all the time, Murray. He doesn't really," Brian said. "How do you know?" Justin grumbled. "Because I know you, that's how," Brian said. He attempted to grumble back, but it didn't quite work for him. "Murray, we're all gay guys in this house, son," Rick said. "You're going to hear all kinds of stuff out of us. Just get used to it and don't get offended." Murray blushed. "So, come on, Tim. What'd you get?" Justin asked. "I got a 5 in American History, a 5 in Chemistry, a 5 in English, and a 4 in Calculus AB," he said. Again, we applauded. "What did you get on your AP, Kyle?" Justin asked. "I didn't take any of those tests. I didn't have time for that shit. I had a school to run," Kyle said. "You couldn't have passed them anyway," Justin said. "That's exactly why I didn't take 'em," Kyle said. "Anyway, on the SAT, Brian and I both got 1520's," Tim said. "Is that good?" Justin asked. "Shit, that's very good," Kyle said. "I didn't get that high." "I'm not surprised, dumb as you are," Justin said. "Yeah, but Buddy, he was a National Merit Finalist," Brian said. "So? I never did know what that meant," Justin said. "Me, neither," Kyle said. Tim and Brian laughed. "The way it works is, you have to take the PSAT. If you get a high enough score on that, and then do equally well on the SAT, you become a semi-finalist. Tim's going to be a semi-finalist, no doubt," Brian said. "No shit?" Kyle asked. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because I wanted to get my SAT scores first," Tim said. "Since you were a finalist, I was under tremendous pressure." "Why were you under pressure? I'll give you that fucking certificate they gave me at school. You know that. That doesn't mean anything to me," Kyle said. "How can you give it to him? It's got your name on it?" Justin asked. "I'll scan that thing and work on it in PhotoShop. It'll have his name on it, bright and clear, when I'm finished with it," Kyle said. "But, Babe, that's not the point, and you know it," Tim said. "I want to be worthy of you." There was a long pause. "Jesus Christ, Tim! I can't believe you said that," Kyle said. He was agitated. "You think your worth to me depends on some fucking test in school?" He was groping for words. "Tim, you're all . . . " Then he stopped, looking for what he wanted to say. "Shit," Kyle said. It was tense in the room, and the emotion was palpable. "Kyle," Tim said tentatively. "Come here to me," Kyle said, grabbing Tim in a huge hug. "I don't give a shit if you flunk every fucking test you take for the rest of your life. You're always going to be everything to me. I thought you knew that." Kyle's voice sounded a little like he was hurt. Tim started crying. "I do know that," he said. "Y'all get a room," Justin said, "cause I know what's coming next." That made us laugh, and I was sure glad he broke the tension. "I'm sorry," Tim said to everyone, in little more than a whisper. "Me, too," Kyle said. He looked at Tim with pure love on his face. "Congratulations. I love you." Kyle kissed him in a way that would ordinarily be off limits downstairs, but neither Rick nor I said anything. "I need a shower," Kyle said, in a few seconds. "Me, too," Tim said. They got up and went upstairs. "Yeah, they need a shower. A shower of what, though, is the question," Justin said. "You are just pure bad. You know that?" Rick said. "You don't think they're going upstairs to take a . . . " "Everybody knows why they're going upstairs, Jus. That's the first time I've ever seen anything like that between them, and they need to be alone for a while," I said. "That scared me," Brian said. "I knew Tim felt that way, but that was the first time I heard him say it so direct. He worships Kyle." "You don't think Kyle worships him?" Justin said. "Yes, I do," Brian said. "I'm just not sure they see their relationship in the same way, any more than we do." "What the hell does that mean?" Justin demanded. "We talked about this at Disney World, remember? Tim and I are different from you and Kyle. That's all," Brian said. I was seeing a side of those two couples that I had never seen before. In fact, I never even imagined it existed. "So you don't think Kyle and I love Tim and you as much as you love us? Is that what you're saying?" Justin demanded. It was Brian's turn to tear up. "That's not what I'm saying, and you know that. I know you love me, just like Kyle loves Tim," he said. "Let's go upstairs," Justin said, very softly and very lovingly. "Okay," Brian whimpered. They left the room. There was a pause for a few moments. "So. You had a fight with Brady, Denny. Tim had a fight with Kyle. Brian had a fight with Justin. I guess that just leaves you and me," Rick said to me. "How did you know I had a fight with Brady?" Denny demanded. "Parent's intuition," Rick said. "Does everybody always fight around here?" Murray asked. "No, son. That's the first time we've seen it, in over two-and-a-half years for Tim and Kyle. Almost that long for Justin and Brian, too. All four of those boys were pretty embarrassed to have that happen down here. Don't tease them about it, okay?" Rick said. In a few minutes, we all dispersed to get ready to go out. Rick and I were in our room. "Jesus Christ! What the hell is it, a full moon or something?" Rick asked. "The Dog Days of Summer, Babe," I said. "As fights go, those were pretty mild." "Oh, I know. But I bet the make-up fucks were very good," he said. I laughed.
When I first saw Murray, I thought, No, you're not going to fit in here. Then, when they told me he was going to be my work partner, I almost rebelled. "Kevin, I'm sure he's cool, but . . ." "But you don't like the way he looks, right?" Kevin said. "Right. Why does he dress the way he does? The people at school who dress like that are losers," I said. "Denny, do you know for sure they're losers, or is that just a perception?" Kevin asked me. "Yeah. They seem to be. I mean, they're only friends with each other, and they don't do any extra-curriculars. Except maybe drama, for a few of them. And what is that?" I said. "Denny, think about your brother Kyle and drama," Kevin said. "And what that is for him and all of us." "Yeah, but he's different," I said. "Those drama people are gay." "Think about what you just said, son," Kevin said. "Kyle is your brother, and he's definitely gay. He's also drama people." "I didn't mean 'gay' like really gay," I said. "I know, but please don't use the word 'gay' to mean anything but what I am, and what you are, and what your brothers are, okay?" Kevin said. He used his hand to gesture himself, me, and the rest. I suddenly felt a little ashamed and embarrassed. I used the word "gay" all the time to mean "lame, stupid, out-of-it," just like everybody else did. I suddenly realized that was not a good use of that word. And then Murray was going to be my partner at work. My God! When I met him Wednesday night, I was appalled. I mean, not really, because I had seen people at school like that. But he was just so different from us. The whole thing about our family was that we were normal and ordinary. Sure, we were all gay, but they had taught me that that was normal and ordinary, too. We didn't dress up in costumes because we were gay. And then Kyle brought him to the pool on Thursday morning. What a difference a morning could make! He was nothing like he had been even that morning at breakfast. I knew Kyle was responsible for that, and Kyle told me I was next for a make-over. Murray and I got along well that afternoon. I made him really swab on the sunscreen, and I checked it a couple of times, too, to make sure he was still covered. He got a little pink, but I knew he hadn't burned. I thought it made him look really good. Brady and I had a little fight on the phone. He wasn't working that summer, and he didn't accept the fact that I couldn't drop everything and see about him whenever he wanted me to. He had called me on my cell at work because he wanted to go skating. I wanted to go, too, but I couldn't. I was working. He wanted me to get one of the guys who could drive to leave their job and go pick him and me up. "Brady, I just can't do it," I said on the phone. "Denny, I'm bored to death. You're my boyfriend, and I want to go skating with you this afternoon," he said. "Well, I can't do it. I'm working," I said. From there it escalated. If I really loved him, I'd figure out a way, he said. This doesn't have anything to do with you and me. It's about the economic reality that I have to work, I said. That's what you always say, he said. Yeah, but that's because I have to work every day, and you don't. On and on and on. We finally resolved it that afternoon, and then Tim and Kyle, and Brian and Justin had fights. Sheesh! They at least got to have some physical time together. Brady and I didn't that night.
I was so fucking sorry I ever promised my parents I'd do my best on those damn tests. College could kiss my fucking ass, and I didn't have to worry. If I had to, I could fish for a fucking living, but the fact of the matter was, I had more damn money than I ever wanted to know about. I didn't need those damn tests. But here's how it went down. "Kyle, when are you going to take the PSAT?" my mama asked me. "I don't take drugs, Mama. You know that," I said. Tim and I were at my house the summer before my junior year. He and I had been dating since January, and my parents knew I was in love with him. They loved him, too. "Tim, slap some sense into your boyfriend," my own mother said. "He knows what that is," Tim said. "Kyle, I want you to promise me, on your honor as an Eagle Scout, that you'll do your best on that test," my mama said. "And all the other tests like that." "Why? It's totally bogus," I said. "Promise me, Kyle. On your Eagle honor," she said. "Okay. I promise on my Eagle honor I'll do the best I can," I said. Well, that was the beginning. I had promised, so I did the best I could. The initials of the thing were PSAT, but I didn't even know what that stood for, and I didn't care. I guess I did pretty good, though. Then I had to take the SAT in June. I mean, school was out. What the fuck was I doing taking a test in June? Some of those reading problems, and those math problems, too, were hard, but I plugged away at it because I had promised my mama I'd do my best. Most of the time in school I just did okay. I didn't do my best. I knew it, and I didn't care. I figured out in middle school, when you're a rich kid, it ain't good to be a smart kid, too. There's just too much hatred for that combination. And queer besides? No way was that going to be me. I couldn't do anything about being rich and queer, but I damn sure could do something about being smart. And I did it. All of a sudden, senior year they're calling out my name at school for being a National Merit Semifinalist. That's when the Guidance people took over. I had never been in the Guidance Office at school in my life, but, all of a sudden, they wanted to see me. Evidently, you advanced in that thing on the basis of what you did at school, not just on scores. I guess I was okay on that because I became a finalist. So what the hell does that mean? Could I go to Emerald Coast Community College, just like everybody else who graduated from high school? Well, yes. Could I then go on to the University of Florida or Florida State, like anybody else who graduated from a community college in Florida? Well, yes. I didn't get it. Then, months later, I had a fight with my baby about that. If I had thought for a minute it would make him nervous or uptight, I would have thrown that fucking test in the garbage can. I would have said to my mama, "No, ma'am. I'm not doing it." But she suckered me in. When Tim said he was trying to be worthy of me, that really set me off. For two years or more, I had been trying to be worthy of him. What the fuck was he talking about? Him being worthy of me? Jesus Christ! He and I made it up real good that night, and then we went out to that fishing rodeo. But it really bothered me that he thought for one second he had to make himself worthy of me. Me? Good God!
I was wrong in telling Justin that Tim and I loved Kyle and him differently from the way they loved us. Justin could never understand that, and it was really irrelevant, anyway. I mean, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. So why does "why" even matter. We did because we loved each other, and why we loved each other was totally irrelevant. Tim and I talked about that, and he and Kyle had come to the same conclusion. The two couples were totally mismatched, but opposites attract. And we totally loved our partners. Go figure. Thursday night we went to the Captain's Party at the fishing tournament. "Who's the Captain?" Justin asked. "Hell if I know," Kyle said. "It's probably your daddy," Jus said. "It could be. I really don't know," Kyle said. "And you really don't care, either, do you?" Jus said. "Why would I care about that?" Kyle asked. "No reason," Jus said. "Let's get a drink." We all walked over to the bar. You had to pay for the drinks, but the food was free. Tim, Denny, Murray, and I got cokes, but Justin and Kyle got whiskey drinks. While we were waiting in line, Kyle struck up a conversation with a couple of guys about his age who were waiting also. "Who were those guys you were talking to?" Tim asked him. "I don't know, but if they ain't gay, than you and I ain't, either," he said. "How could you tell that?" Tim asked. "Just a hunch, I reckon, but I'd bet money on it," Kyle said. Chip, his girlfriend, and Brady spotted us, and Denny and Murray went off somewhere with them. We had stopped one of the girls passing food, and we cleaned off her tray. She laughed when we did that, like no other group had done that kind of thing. It was little sausages wrapped up in some kind of pastry, and they were excellent. "I'll bring you another tray," she said, and smiled at us. "Thanks," Kyle said. "Do you have any mustard?" "Yeah," she said, and she was off. "I can't believe you, asking for mustard," Justin said. "Why? These are going to be better with mustard. You wait and see," Kyle said. The two boys that Kyle had been talking to came up to us. They had a whole tray of those little snacks, and their tray had a little bowl of mustard in the middle. "Would you guys like some of these?" one of the boys asked. "Yeah, thanks," Kyle said. "But what I most want is some of that mustard for the ones I already got." "Help yourself," the boy said. "By the way, I'm Lee Adams, and this is Colin Broderick." We all introduced ourselves, and we shook hands as best we could holding our drinks and snacks. Just then the DJ cranked up his amplifier, and the music was pretty loud. "Where are you guys from," Lee asked. "We're from here," Kyle said loud. "What about you?" "We're from Providence, Rhode Island," Lee said. He was shouting, too. "Where is your boat?" "It's at home," Kyle shouted. "We ain't in the rodeo." "Oh," Lee said. "I noticed your shirts, and I thought you were." The girl came back with a fresh tray of snacks, and that time she had a tub of mustard on it. She gave us the whole thing. "Let's go someplace where we can talk," Lee shouted. "This music is too loud." "Okay," Kyle shouted back to him. They took us back to their boat, and it was a beauty. It turned out that it belonged to Lee's family. We chatted about this and that, and Kyle asked them if they had girlfriends. I thought that was odd, and it was something he never did before. "Naw," Lee said. "How about yourself?" "Same here, but I got a boyfriend. Tim, here, is my boyfriend," Kyle said. Lee had a mouth full of food, and he started coughing like some of it had gone into his windpipe or something. Colin got all worried looking, but the coughing didn't last long. "Sorry about that," Lee said. "So, I guess you guys are gay. That's cool. Do your parents know?" "Sure," Kyle said. "I had a brother who was gay, too, but he's dead now." "AIDS?" Lee asked. "Naw," Kyle said. "Freak medical accident is what they called it." "It must be nice to be out to your parents," Colin said. "You guys are a couple, aren't you?" Kyle asked. "What makes you say that?" Lee asked. He sounded alarmed. "I just thought you were, that's all. I'm sorry if I pegged you wrong," Kyle said. "We are," Colin said, "but we're not out to anybody. Not to friends or family, and especially not to our parents." "Do you think they suspect?" Tim asked. "God, I hope not. That would be disastrous, if they found out," Lee said. "My father is very homophobic, and he's also pretty rich. He'd probably disinherit me and kick me out." "By the way, Justin and I are a couple, too," I said. "You're among brothers here." "This friend of mine came out to his parents, and his father hasn't spoken to him since," Colin said. "I'm sure my parents would have a fit, if they found out." "Well, I believe everybody's got to do what they got to do," Justin said. "Ain't that right, Little Buddy?" "I think so, too," I said. "My parents kicked me out, but, to tell you the truth, I think that was just an excuse, not a reason. My step-father hated me from the day he met me." "How old are you?" Lee asked. "I'm sixteen, and I'm in a foster home that's run by a gay couple. Right now it's a totally gay household," I said. "My God! How old were you when they kicked you out?" Lee asked. "Fourteen," I said. "You seem older than sixteen," Colin said. "We're both eighteen. We just graduated from high school, and we're going to be roommates next year at college. Hopefully, we can finally have some privacy." "How long have you guys been dating?" Tim asked. "Since right after Christmas. We met the day after, in fact. I went to boarding school, and I was home for the holidays. Colin's dad is a business associate of my dad, and they had a party for families on Boxing Day. That's the day after Christmas, and it's a tradition in that company to have that party every year," Lee said. "So, I guess you guys couldn't get together too often, if you were in boarding school, huh?" Tim said. "Not often enough, that's for sure," Colin said. "I went to visit him a few times for the weekend, and he came home for the weekend once a month. That, and Spring Break, were it, until after graduation." "Are you guys out at school?" Lee asked. We all said we were. "Any problems?" "Not really," Kyle said. "He was president of student government last year, and he was fully out before the election," Tim said. "No, kidding," Lee said. "That's amazing. There were three boys at my school who were out of the closet, and they got a good bit of harassment. Nothing violent, though." "Did they act gay?" Justin asked. "Do you mean, were they effeminate?" "Yeah," Jus said. "One was, but only slightly. The other two weren't at all," Lee said. "I wanted to talk to one of them about being gay, but I was afraid to. I didn't want him getting suspicious." "So, we're the first people you've come out to?" Justin asked. "Yes," they said in unison. "Do you feel any different? I read that you feel different when you come out," he said. "It feels great to be able to talk to you guys about it," Lee said. "Did you feel different when you came out?" "My situation was so fucked up, I never really had a chance to do that," Justin said. "That's all I want to say about it, though." "The rest of us were so young when we came out that I don't think being in the closet really bothered us that much," Kyle said. "I felt lonesome and different and all, but coming out didn't change that. Meeting this boy right here is what changed that for me. And getting to know Kevin and Rick. That's really when I started coming out to people besides my parents." We heard a large cheer from outside. "They're weighing the fish," Kyle said. "Are you guys fishing?" "No. My parents are, but we aren't," Lee said. "Do they take this boat out?" Justin asked. "No. They go out on another boat. This one stays here for us to use when they're out on the ocean," Lee said. "So, y'all got all day to fuck, huh?" Justin asked. They both blushed a little. "I want to go get some pictures of the fish," Kyle said. "Let's all walk over there. You want to?" We ended up hanging out with Lee and Colin the rest of that night. We introduced them to Kevin and Rick, and to Kyle's and Tim's parents, but we didn't say anything about them being gay. In fact, we got to be pretty good friends with those boys during that fishing tournament, and on Saturday they came over to water ski. I didn't know if we'd ever see them again, but they were really nice guys.
"I talked to Gene tonight about us not going to the awards brunch tomorrow morning," I said, once Kevin and I were in bed Saturday night. "What did he say?" Kevin asked. "Oh, he was fine with it," I said. "I explained about wanting to spend time with the boys, especially Murray, and he said that's where we need to be. Are you disappointed about missing it?" "Heartbroken," he said, ironically. "That's what I thought you'd say," I said. "I'm tired." "I am, too. Hobb-nobbing takes it out of you," he said. We seldom made love on Saturday night. I know that's a big night for a lot of people, but Sunday morning was our best and favorite time. Sometimes on Saturday morning, too, if I didn't run. In fact, we had done it that very morning, since it was really too hot for me to run. "Good night. I love you," I said. "I love you, too," and we kissed each other goodnight. * * * The next morning all of the boys, except Paddy, were in the den in their underwear. I noticed that Murray had on a pair of briefs, instead of boxers. I wondered if he had been converted or if he went both ways. "What are you guys doing here?" Kyle asked when we came into the den. "And good morning to you, too, son," I said. "I'm sorry. Good morning, Dad. What the fuck are you doing here?" Kyle asked. "We got off the hook about going to that brunch," Kevin said. "That's an interesting expression to use in connection with an event at a fishing tournament," Brian said. "What do you mean? 'Got off the hook?'" Kevin asked. "I just figured that out," Justin said. "Duh!" Kyle said. Justin ruffled Kyle's hair in reply. "So what are we going to do today?" Kyle asked. "I'm going to rest. Aren't you tired?" Kevin asked. "A little bit, but I got a good night's sleep," he said. "Do you ever not get a good night's sleep?" I asked. "No," he said, chuckling a little. "That's what I thought," I replied. We spent the rest of the morning talking and reading the paper and relaxing. * * * The rest of the summer, all two weeks of it that were left before school started on August 24th, went by without incident. Kyle's book of photographs was officially published, and the publisher sent him ten copies of it, without charge He ordered ten more. He wanted everyone to have a copy without having to buy one. Frankly, at the retail price on it, that was quite a nice gift. He wrote a personal message in each book. Mine said, To Rick, my alter ego: I don't often take time to say thank you and to tell you how much I love you and Kevin, but I should. You guys basically took me in and gave me the love and support I needed to learn how to become a gay man. Your friendship means the world to me, and if I ever lose it, I would lose a precious part of my life. I hope that in the years to come you'll look at the pictures in this book and think of me and of all the wonderful times we've had together. My only hope and prayer is that Tim and I will be the kind of loving, faithful couple that you and Kevin are. I love you. --Kyle Then, under the note, he wrote his full name: Kyle Adam Kevin Richard Goodson. At times like that I got pretty sentimental. He had enriched my life in incalculable ways, and I dreaded the day he and the others were going to pull out of that driveway and head off into life. Paddy left around noon on Saturday, August 22nd. His summer boyfriend, Drew McCalister, had gone home the week before, and Paddy had been a little sad about that. We had the guys at the townhouse over for a cookout and swim Friday night, but Paddy didn't want a big going-away party. He said he thought it would make him too depressed. He was very quiet in the den on Saturday morning. "Are you all ready to go?" I asked him. His bottom lip was quivering, and I knew he was getting emotional. "I wish I didn't have to go," he said. "Rick, Kevin, everybody--being here has been the happiest time of my entire life. Thank you all so much." His voice got higher and higher as he said that. We all got a little weepy, and he and Tim positively bawled. "We want you to come back," Kevin said. "I wil-l-l," he said, tears streaming down his face. He continued sobbing for a few more seconds, and then he laughed a little. "Where's the ice cream?" Justin grumbled, and that made us all laugh. * * * Murray turned out to be a really sweet kid. He was still effeminate, but I didn't think it was as pronounced as it had been. Maybe I was just getting used to him, though. In either case, I didn't notice it like I did at first. Denny continued dating Brady, but theirs was a rocky relationship. It was obvious they weren't in love, and I was pretty sure it was lust that kept them together. Denny and Murray became good friends, as I had hoped they would, and the two of them, and usually Chip Rooney, too, were quite a cute trio. Brady was part of that group some of the time, but his parents kept him on a much shorter tether than the others. Tim and Kyle, and Brian and Justin--it was difficult for me to think of them individually--were a joy, as usual. The Sunday night before school started, Justin started up. "God, I'm so damn scared, I'm about to shit my pants," he said. "Scared of what?" Kyle grumbled at him. "Scared of starting fucking school, that's what," he said, grumbling back. "Well, it ain't like you never been there before," Kyle said. "I know, Kyle, but every semester is like a monster lying in wait for me," he said. Kevin and I laughed when he said that. "Shit, Justin, you and I are in almost all the same classes," Kyle said. "Yeah, but I'm taking math, and you ain't," he said. "I'll help you, Buddy," Brian said. "I know you will, Little Buddy. Y'all are going to be precious resources, that's for sure," he said. "Let's have some ice cream to calm us down," I suggested. I don't know if it actually calmed Jus down, but it got his mind off the monster lying in wait for him at college. * * * "Can you believe another summer has come and gone?" I said to Kevin in bed on the Sunday night before school started. "No. What are we going to do next year at this time?" he asked. His voice was thick with emotion. "I don't know," I said. I was tearing up, too. "I try not to think about it." "Hold me, Rick," he said, and he and I cried ourselves to sleep. The End
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