I had been gay all my life, but that was the summer I learned what being gay was all about. And what it was all about for me was Tony Miller. He and I had started dating in the early spring, and by the start of the summer we were ready to ratchet up the relationship a notch and move in together. Our friends Jeff Martin and Tyler Jones had a great three-bedroom townhouse on a bay that they were paying $200.00 a month to live in. It belonged to Kyle's parents, and they were getting it that cheap because the Goodsons were rich and because Jeff had been their son's partner before their son died. Essentially, Jeff and Ty were just paying the taxes and insurance on the place, and that was all. My share was going to be $50 a month, and I couldn't live in a cardboard box for that little money. Tony and I jumped at their offer to move in with them. We were two extremely compatible couples. We were both pretty tame. I mean, we went out occasionally to clubs and such, but our idea of a fun Saturday night was to order pizza, rent a couple of movies, and snuggle with our partners on the two couches in the living room as we watched the movies. Now and then the Big Four boys would come over to visit, and they were always fun. Plus, it seemed as though there was always some kind of party going on at Kevin and Rick's house. Naturally, the four of us in the townhouse were always included. For the first time in my life, I felt that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I had a partner, Tony, that I loved completely; two extremely close friends, Jeff and Ty, who were our family; an extended family that loved us and were always glad to see us; and a great job that had the potential for developing into a life-long career. "Are you happy?" I asked Tony one Saturday afternoon. We were alone in the townhouse. "Am I happy? I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life," he said. "How could I not be happy?" "I feel exactly the same way," I said. "I was just checking." "The only thing I'm not all that happy about is my job," he said. That took me aback a little. "I thought you loved your job," I said. "I love the work, but I hate the circumstances of it," he said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well, it's military. Or quasi-military, anyway. But the same rules apply," he said. "Quasi-military?" I asked. "Yeah. Technically, in peacetime I work for the Department of the Treasury, not the Defense Department," he said. "I didn't know that," I said. "Yeah. The Coast Guard is this fucked up, hybrid sort of service. We're only truly military in time of war. I don't know if it has to be a congressionally-declared war or if it can be one of these presidential wars. The presidential wars seem to be what we do these days. Regardless, though, it's run like the military. 'Don't ask, don't tell' applies to us, too," he said. "I truly didn't know that about you working for the Department of the Treasury," I said. "Yeah, we're like the Secret Service in that regard. Did you know that most Secret Service agents are involved in finding counterfeiters? Of money and stamps?" he asked. "I thought they just guarded the president," I said. "I know. That's what most people think, but most Secret Service agents are after counterfeiters. That's why they're part of Treasury. We go after smugglers. Now-a-days, it's mostly drug smugglers, but we do all smugglers. Drugs, art, fashion, antiquities. You name it," he said. "And illegal aliens, too. Here we do mostly drugs." "I honestly didn't know that about the Coast Guard," I said. "I wondered why it wasn't part of the Navy, but I guess it has a different mission." "It has a very different mission. We have to be trained in combat readiness, but that's very much a secondary function of the Coast Guard," he said. "So, what are you thinking?" I asked. "I'm thinking I want to do what Ty did and get out. I'm thinking you and I have a great life together--and this is going to sound gay as hell--but I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Chuck. I don't ever want to be separated from you," he said. I got very quiet because what he had just said were words I had prayed to hear from him. That was exactly the way I felt, and I was pretty sure he felt that way, too. But that was the first time he had said that. "Did I say something to upset you?" he asked, after several moments. "Upset me? You just made me the happiest I've ever been in my life," I said. "Is that how you feel, too?" he asked. "That's exactly how I feel. I love you. I want to make a life with you. I want you to be mine forever," I said. "Well, I'm yours. Forever," he said. I couldn't get through something like that without tears, and they came in buckets. "So what do we do now?" I asked, once the tears abated. "Well, the first thing I need to do is get out of the Coast Guard. I'm up for re-enlistment in August, and I'm not going to do it. I guess the next thing is to get a job," he said. "I don't think that's going to be a problem," I said. "We can talk to Kevin about that." "I know, and maybe that's what I need for the short term, but I'm not really interested in being a bellhop for long. I run a computer network right now. That's what I want to do," he said. "Do you think they have a computer network for Goodson?" I asked. "I don't know, but they need one, if they don't," he said. "Let me find out about that," I said. I made an appointment with Kevin for a few days later. I figured I needed to do this in a formal kind of way, rather than at their house, when all of us were naked or something. "Hey, man," he said, all smiles, when I went into his office. He came around to the front of his desk. We shook hands, and then he hugged me. That was the nicest office I had ever been in, but I guess it befitted his status as an Executive Vice President. "Hey, Kevin," I said. "This is really nice," I said. "I know. It's nicer than home. I don't know how to act in here," he said. I knew that was his humility bullshit, but it was appropriate. I mean, their house was unbelievable compared to some of the houses my mom and I had lived in, but that office really was nicer than their house. His secretary came in to offer coffee or water or juice or soft drink, and a bottle of water sounded real good to me right then. That's what Kevin wanted, too. "So what's up? Did you and Tony have a fight?" he asked. "No, not at all," I said. "I didn't think so. What's up, man?" "Well, he wants out of the Coast Guard, and he needs a job," I said. "Does he have a college degree?" Kevin asked. "No, and I don't think he'll ever get one, Kevin," I said. "At least not for a long time." "I see," he said, real non-committal like. "Well, that's not entirely true. He's going to get an A.S. degree from Emerald Coast this summer. In Computer Network Administration," I said. "Oh, really?" "Yeah," I said. "We have a computer network, you know," he said. "I thought we might, but I wasn't sure," I said. "Look at this," Kevin said. He went through some papers before he found the one to hand me. He handed me a letter. I read it quickly, and it was the letter of resignation of the network administrator for Goodson Enterprises. "This was in my in-basket last week," he said. "Notice that it's addressed to Gene, but Gene wants Rick and me to find a replacement for this guy." "Wow!" I said. "I need a résumé from Tony, the date when he can start, and his salary needs. And I hope his salary needs aren't more than $60,000.00, 'cause he ain't getting more than that," Kevin said. "I understand, Kevin," I said. "Tony is family, Chuck, and you know that means a lot around here," Kevin said. "Yeah, I guess I do know that, but he's also very good at what he does, Kevin," I said. "I know. Family isn't the only criterion, Chuck," Kevin said. "I know, and thank you," I said. "He doesn't have the job yet, Chuck," Kevin said. "I know, but I'm real encouraged," I said. "As well you should be, Bubba," Kevin said. I couldn't wait for Tony to get home from work that night. I thought the news from Kevin was incredible. I told him everything that had happened that morning. "My God! What a coincidence!" he said. "I know, but coincidences really do happen sometimes," I said. "Oh, I'm not complaining. Did he say when the guy is leaving?" Tony asked. "No, and I didn't think to ask. I mean I read the letter, but I don't remember what it said about his last day or anything," I said. "It's probably the end of next week, don't you think?" Tony asked. "Yeah, or even sooner. Kevin said he got the guy's letter last week, so it might even be the end of this week," I said. Jeff came in from work just then. He poured himself a cup of coffee and joined us in the living room. We filled Jeff in on what we had been talking about. "Call Kevin and ask him when the guy's last day is," Jeff said. "I'm kind of scared to do that," I said. "I'll do it," Jeff said. "My God, it's just Kevin." Jeff punched the speed dial button for North Lagoon Drive. "Hi, Denny. It's Jeff. Let me speak to Kevin," Jeff said. Jeff held the phone back from his ear, and we could hear Denny screaming Kevin's name. "Jesus," Jeff said. "That little brother needs to learn some phone manners." "Hey, Kev. Denny needs to learn not to scream with the phone next to his mouth," Jeff said. Pause. "Well, that's all right. Listen, Chuck, Tony, and I have been talking about that computer job you're going to have open, and we were wondering when that guy's last day is," Jeff said. Pause. "This Friday, huh?" Pause. "They don't know you as well as I do. Besides, I offered," Jeff said. Pause. "Oh, yeah. Ty's great. We're all great, and we're going to be greater if a certain young man gets a certain job he wants," Jeff said. Pause. Jeff laughed. "Well, do you have other applicants?" Pause. "I didn't think so. Well, listen, I need to get off the phone. See you later, Bubba." Pause. "I love you, too," Jeff said, and then he hung up. "You heard. It's the end of this week." "I've got plenty of leave built up," Tony said. "I could be free to start on next Monday." "I'd go for the Monday after next," Jeff said. "Give them a week without any IT leadership to see how badly they need it." "Is there a staff of technicians?" Tony asked. "Yeah, there's a staff. I think there are about eight guys in that department," I said. "I don't know for sure, but it seems to me that's what I saw on the org chart." "I've seen that chart, too, and there are more than that, Chuck. I think every one of those boxes has two people in it, one network and one equipment. And there are other people, too, like the Help Desk operators and a couple of secretaries. We have to support guest needs, as well as corporate needs. Maybe some programmers, too. It's a pretty big department," Jeff said. "They do all the hotels and motels, and all the gift shops, too. That's twenty-seven sites--eleven hotels and motels, and sixteen gift shops. And the hotels all have internal networks, too. They also do training out of that department." "Damn, that's a lot bigger than what I'm running now," Tony said. "Well, Goodson is a big corporation," Jeff said. "Very big." Tony and I got busy on his résumé that night. We used one of the templates in Microsoft Word, and I thought it looked pretty damn good. "Can you drop this off for me tomorrow?" Tony asked. "Of course," I said. When we finished on the computer, we went out into the living room. Jeff and Ty were there watching TV, but Kyle, Tim, Justin, and Brian were, too. In fact, Krewe was there, too, with the boys. "What the hell have y'all been doing in there? Fucking?" Justin asked. Everybody laughed. He had totally mastered dead-pan. "Yeah, fucking. Fucking with this damn résumé of mine," Tony said. "Résumé? What the hell is that?" Justin asked. "It's for a new job, Jus. It's like a list of your skills and accomplishments to impress your potential employer, so they'll hire you," Jeff said. Justin looked at Kyle. "We'll take care of it when you need one," Kyle said. "I know what one is and how to do one, too." I got an idea. "Will you guys take this to Kevin tonight?" I asked. "Of course we will," Kyle said. "Tony, do you mind if I look at it. I've never seen one before," Justin said. "No, go ahead, Jus," Tony said. Justin scanned the document. "You really got a nine-inch dick?" Justin asked, surprised. How could we not laugh at that. "I wish," I said. And they laughed some more. "Justin, you're a pure fool. You know that?" Kyle said. "I learned every bit of it from you," Justin said. "I know. If we ever stop laughing about stuff like that, we've had the lick," Kyle said. "I know," Justin said.
I had an interview with Kevin and Rick, and with a couple of guys from the IT department. Those two guys were the network manager and the equipment manager, respectively. The two IT guys asked me some technical questions, and I answered those easily. They wanted to know about my technical certifications, and I had a slew of them. "Do you know what Goodson Enterprises is even all about?" the network guy asked. "Hotels and gift shops, right?" I said. "This is very much a family business. The Goodsons are wonderful people, and they treat their employees good. But they demand loyalty of their employees. Are you prepared for that?" the equipment guy said. I didn't care for his attitude at all. I figured he wanted that job. Rick was grinning his mouth off, so I decided to go for it. "Have you ever been in the Goodsons' home in Destin? Have you ever seen Kyle naked?" I asked him. "I can answer 'yes' to both of those questions." "Kyle who?" he asked. "Kyle Goodson. Gene Goodson's son," I said. "No," the guy said. "Joe, Tony's family. He knows the Goodsons, and he'll be loyal," Kevin said. "Oh, I see," Joe said. "Well, I guess we got us a new IT administrator." "Yeah, I guess we do," Kevin said. "A week from Monday, Tony?" "Yeah, that's good with me," I said. I had never had a real job interview before for a job at that level. Sure, I had interviewed at Pizza Hut when I was in high school, but it had taken place standing up in the kitchen of the restaurant. It was a non-interview, as far as I was concerned. That one was my first. "Congratulations," Rick said. "You got you a damn good job, man." "I know. Thanks, Rick," I said. "Don't thank me. We need you. You're bringing a lot to this company, man. We need you a lot more than you need us," Rick said. "Did you advertise the job?" I asked. "No," Kevin said. "We knew we wanted you, but we had to go through that interview shit for the sake of those two boys who quizzed you. We figured they needed to feel like you knew what you were talking about, and they seemed very satisfied." "You better be loyal, too, you hear me?" Rick said. "The Goodson's expect that. You heard Joe." I wasn't sure if Rick was joking or not. "Oh, I'll be loyal. For sure," I said. "I know you will be, Bubba. I was just teasing you. I think Joe might have wanted your job, but he's really not qualified. The other guy might be, though. Anyway, I think you impressed them, and you damn sure impressed me," Rick said. "I can't wait to see Chuck tonight," I said. "Hell, don't wait. Go see him now at the hotel," Kevin said. "He's got as much at stake in this as you have, don't you think?" "Yeah, he does. He loves it here, and he loves his job. If I had stayed in the Coast Guard, I know I would have been transferred. He would have had to give me up or give up everything he has going for him here to go with me. Neither alternative is acceptable to me," I said. "Well, you fellas can be with this company the rest of your lives, if you want to. Someday Kyle's going to take over, but that shouldn't be a problem. You've already seen him naked," Kevin said. Rick laughed hard. "Did I sound stupid saying that?" I asked. "No. You didn't sound stupid, exactly, but the relevance of that fact to your loyalty to the company was just a bit iffy," Kevin said. "I didn't know what the hell to say, though," I said. "That caught me totally off guard. And he didn't even know who Kyle is." I was laughing, too, by then. "I know," Rick said, "which sort of makes it even funnier, I think." "This is one of those things our family will laugh about for years," Kevin said. It crossed my mind to ask him not to tell, but I knew it was too good a story for it to stay secret. In fact, I thought I'd have to tell that one on myself. "Where will my office be?" I asked. "Oh, in this building," Kevin said. "Have you ever been here before?" "No, this is the first time," I said. "We need to take you around so you can see the place and meet some of the key people you'll be working with," Kevin said. "Gene doesn't come in here on a regular basis any more, and I know he's not here today. He'd be the first one we'd visit, if he were here. Can you join us, Babe?" Kevin asked Rick. "I'd love to, but I'm scheduled back to back today. What are you doing for lunch, Kevin?" Rick asked. "Why don't we go over to the Laguna and eat in the employees' cafeteria with the boys?" Kevin asked. "Good idea. I understand they treat the employees pretty well over there," Rick said. "Yeah, and he wants to see Chuck, and I don't blame him," Kevin said. "Okay. What time? Noon?" Rick asked. "Yeah," Kevin said. "Meet us there, okay?" "Okay," Rick said, and he took off. Kevin took me down to the fourth floor to see the IT office, or the Data Center, as they called it. My office was very, very nice, and I met my soon-to-be secretary, who actually was a guy about my age--another Jeff, in fact. I saw the AS400, the machine that did the lion's share of the work, and I toured the "server room" as well. They had a room that was set up like a workshop for repairing equipment. The guy I was replacing wasn't there, so I didn't get to meet him. In fact, even though Friday was his last official day, he was on vacation that week. He was moving to Lakeland, Florida, and I was sure he was getting his household ready for the move. I found out that there were three programmers on the staff, in addition to the network and equipment technicians, the Help Desk people, and assorted others. There was a third manager, too. The guy who ran the AS400 portion of the operation, and he had a couple of helpers. There was a sense of "busyness" about the place, and I liked that. I met the Chief Financial Officer, the Budget Officer, the inventory person, the Risk Manager, the head of Personnel, and several others scattered around the building. Those were all the people I would work with. I knew it would take me a few weeks to get all those people sorted out, but that was part of the excitement of a new job. I couldn't wait to get to work. Kevin and I drove separately to the Laguna to meet Rick and the others for lunch. I was so excited about seeing Chuck that I had an erection the whole way there. I knew that nothing sexual was going to happen, but I got those often just thinking about him. Now that our future together was pretty much assured, I was aching for him. "Go on back and see Chuck," Kevin said, when we got there. "I want to harass the boys a little bit." "Okay," I said. I knocked tentatively on his office door. "Come in," he said. I opened the door. "I got the job," I said. He came around that desk faster than I had ever seen him move before. He grabbed me in a huge hug, and he planted a big kiss on my lips. "I'm so proud of you," he said. "Oh, my God!" We were both laughing, sort of. "Thank you," I said. "Let's go out to lunch and then go home," he said. "I want to, but Kevin and Rick are eating here today so we can all be together," I said. "Shit. They think of this as a family moment, don't they?" Chuck said. "Yeah, I think they do, Babe," I said. "So, I guess the interview went okay, right?" "Yeah, it went very well. But let me tell you about something I said. This one guy, Joe, was giving me this mini-lecture about loyalty to the company and loyalty to the Goodson family. I really resented it that he thought he had to tell me I had to be loyal to my employer, so I pulled out my Goodson family credentials. I asked him if he had ever been to Gene and Rita's home in Destin, and he said 'no.' Then I asked him if he had ever seen Kyle naked, because I had. He didn't even know who Kyle was," I said. He broke up. "Oh, my God!" Chuck said. "I know. Kevin told me after the interview that he didn't think that statement was all that relevant to the loyalty issue," I said. Chuck and I stood there laughing, to the point that tears were squeezing out the corners of our eyes. "What did they say when you said that?" he asked. "Kevin said something like, 'He's family, Joe. He'll be loyal,'" I said. "And Joe said, 'Oh, I see.'" "That's too funny. Don't tell that story at lunch. That one has to be told in the den at their house, okay?" Chuck said. "Oh, I know. But I wanted to tell you in private," I said. "Let's go eat," he said, still laughing. * * * "Oh, we got the big boys here today, I see," Justin said, when we got in line in the kitchen to get our lunches. "What happened? Did they finally wise up and demote your asses to bellboys?" "No. Shut up and don't gap the line," Rick said. "Are you that hungry, Rick? Huh?" Jus said. Rick couldn't resist laughing at him, just like the rest of us. "Shut up and get your food," Rick said. Justin scurried up in line. The main dish was fried chicken, and he got a plateful. He also got a ton of vegetables and a pile of mashed potatoes and gravy. I noticed he picked up a tall glass of sweet tea. In the dining room, Kyle and Tim were busy pulling tables together for all of us. Denny was there in a bathing suit, a tee shirt, and flip flops. He was a pool boy, and his tan was incredible. Jeff, Kyle, Tim, Paddy, and Tyler had on bellhop uniforms, Justin and Chuck had on business suits, as did I from my interview, and Kevin and Rick had on dress shirts and ties. "I miss my lil boy," Justin said. "He's right here with us in spirit, Jus," Kevin said. "I know, but he ain't getting any of this chicken. They do fried chicken right at this place," he said. "That sounds like a good commercial. 'They do chicken right,'" Kyle said. "Tell them your news, Tony," Kevin said. "I got the job," I said. "I start a week from Monday." There was much celebrating at the table, to the point that everybody else in the room got quiet and stared at us. "How much you gonna be making?" Justin asked. "We didn't even talk about that," I said. "I don't know." "You're going to be making what you asked for," Kevin said. "Really?" I asked. "The other guy was making that much, so why shouldn't you?" Rick said. I never expected that much. I had asked for sixty thousand, thinking they would negotiate down to about forty or forty-five. I was weak. "I think we need to have us a party this weekend to celebrate this job," Kyle said. "I'm all over that, Bubba," Justin said. "I want me some good corn-on-the-cob, though. You hear me, Kyle?" "Yeah, I hear you," Kyle said. Kyle put his left hand up to his mouth and started digging with his thumbnail between his two middle bottom teeth. His left arm was propped up by his right arm across his chest. I had learned that it was a sure sign he was thinking when he did that. "Oh, oh. He's thinking. This could be dangerous," Jus said. "Shut up and eat," Kyle said. That was an unbelievable bunch. I had never been around truly happy people in my life before I met them. It was so obvious that they loved one another, and they took in strays wherever they could find them. I had a family of sorts in Vancouver, Washington, but we had never been close. My parents were divorced, and my mom was re-married. I didn't know about my dad. She and her husband had tolerated me until I turned eighteen, six years before, but that was all. I knew I was on my own as of my eighteenth birthday. They didn't even know I was gay, and I didn't feel any need or obligation to tell them. They knew where I was, and they sent me a card every Christmas and birthday. That was it. Here was a bunch of guys who had just known me for about six months or so, who were talking about having a party in my honor because I had gotten a new job. I couldn't believe it, yet I knew it was true. "I'm still hungry," Justin said. "I know, me, too," Kyle said. "You guys aren't going to be able to function this afternoon," Kevin said. "Yeah, we will. I'm so hungry I could go through that line again," Justin said. "Me, too," Kyle said. "Let's do it." I remembered guys in high school getting three lunches every day. I often got two, myself, back then. "I'm thinking I need some more, too," Tim said. "Me, too," Denny said. "I'm going to get me just another couple of pieces of that chicken," Rick said. Before it was over, we all marched back there for seconds. After lunch, I went back to the Goodson Building to take care of stuff in Personnel. I had the usual forms to fill out and sign. On Friday night, they gave a party for me. It was mostly the same people who always came to parties there, but I invited a couple of guys from my unit, including my commanding officer. "You're gay, aren't you," he asked. He and I were both nude, having just gotten out of the pool. "Well, er, . . . " I said. "It's all right now, if you are, Tony. It's okay," he said. My gaydar went off the first time I laid eyes on him, and I had strong suspicions about him ever since. He wasn't married, had a male roommate, and was thirty years old. I was happy if he had found somebody, but he was there by himself that night. I knew he could never come out, and that made me sad.
I had a great summer job. I was one of three pool boys at the Laguna Hotel, and I loved it. "Pool boy" was sort of a misnomer because two of us worked the beach, renting chairs and umbrellas, selling water and sun screen, and that sort of thing. We did the same thing up by the pool, only there we also had to bus the tables. Things like take away empty cups and bottles, empty the ashtrays, pick up napkins that blew off the tables. That sort of thing. I really liked the work, and besides, Chip was working with me. "I can't wait to get on those weights," Chip had said, early in the summer. We had a sort of weight room set up on the beach. It was all free weights and benches; no machines. We had to put that stuff out every morning and bring it in every afternoon before we knocked off. Guests could use it for free, but other people had to pay ten bucks to use it. "Why," I asked. "'Cause I want to get buff, that's why," Chip said. "You're already buff," I said. "I know, but I want to get buffer," he said. "Well, I'm not interested in doing that," I said. "Here's what you do. Lift your book up and down like it was a dumbbell. That'll buff you up," Chip said. "I'm trying to buff my mind, not my body," I said. "I know," he said. We were both sort of laughing. Chip flirted shamelessly with every girl he met on the beach. He was still dating the girl he had met Freshman year, but I knew they weren't having sex yet and the relationship wasn't really going anywhere. He wasn't still a virgin, but he wasn't getting it regularly, either. He and Brady and I were totally best friends, and we told each other everything we did. Chip had grown so much in the time I had known him that you would never know he had been a shrimp the year before. He was about five feet, seven inches by then, and that was a good adult size. Everything about him had grown, including his genitals, and he was proud of that. I was going to have a week off to go to Debate Camp at Emory University the second week of August. The Emory Camp and the Georgetown University Camp were the two best debate camps in the country, but I didn't want to miss two weeks of work to go to both. Plus, they were both expensive, and I didn't want to ask Kevin and Rick for that much money. I chose Emory. I flew out of Emerald Beach by myself on August eighth, and I did just fine on the trip. I got to Atlanta in about an hour, and I found the group who were at the airport welcoming the debaters. My partner had wanted to go with me, but his family was having some kind of financial problem that summer because they had had a swimming pool put in their yard. He ended up not going. Debate Camp was fabulous. I learned so much about that year's topic that I can't even express it. I met some really cool people, and I found out that a lot of my fellow debaters were gay, too. There wasn't any sex involved, but a lot of those two-man teams were teams in other arenas than debate. I guess they were like Josh and me. I met two guys from New Orleans. They were really cool. They were from an all-boys Catholic high school. It was the same school Seth had just graduated from and the one Kevin, his brother, his dad, and his grandfather had gone to. One of those guys was sort of femme. I asked them point blank if they were gay. "What do you mean?" the blond one asked. "What do I mean? I mean, are you guys gay? I am, and I was thinking you are, too," I said. They looked at one another, communicating silently. "Yeah, we are. But please don't tell anybody," the blond one said. He wasn't the femme one. They became my best friends at that camp. I told them stories about my Emerald Beach family, and they were in awe. I told them about visiting New Orleans and staying at the Foley grandparents' house. "Is your grandmother a doctor?" Eric, the femme guy asked. "Yeah, she is. She's a pediatrician," I said. "Oh, my God! I don't believe this," Eric said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she's been my doctor all my life," he said. "Oh, my God!" "That's cool," I said. "She's nice, isn't she?" "She's the nicest and the best," he said. "I'm out to her, in fact." "What did she say when you told her?" I asked. "She told me that it made me a very special person. She also said she has two gay sons and a houseful of gay grandsons in Florida. I guess that would include you," Eric said. "Yeah, that would definitely include me," I said. "Are you guys out to everybody?" "Hell, no," Don said. He was the other one. "Nobody knows about me, except him, and now you. I've got too much to lose if people find out." "I guess I'm pretty much out to my family. Maybe to everybody. They kind of look at me and know, just like you did, Denny," Eric said. He got pretty sad when he said that. I hated it that he felt that way. "Well, I'm not exactly Mr. Macho," I said. "You're kind of neutral," Eric said. "You don't act like I do. Nobody would know just from looking at you or talking to you." "One of the things about my family is we accept everybody. No questions asked. We have a lot of friends. Some of them are like you, and some of them are like you, Don. We never, ever make fun of anybody, either. Some of my brothers are really good athletes. And then there's me. One of my brothers is a whiz at training dogs. That's Brian. He's the one I'm closest to, probably. Him and Tim. Brian and Tim are best friends," I said. "You're living in gay-boy paradise," Don said. "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Yes," I said. "His name is Brady. His older brother was my first debate partner, and he was gay, too. His name was Josh, and he committed suicide because he was gay," I said. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Don said. I had heard Kevin and Craig and Cherie say that a bunch of times. I figured that was a New Orleans thing. "It was bad," I said. "That happened in January, so Brady is pretty much used to it by now." "What about you? Are you out to everybody?" Don asked. "Probably," I said. "I'm sure out to my family, and I'm probably out at school, too. Kyle and Tim are out to everybody at school, and I'm always with them. Kyle was the student government president at school last year, and he and Tim were totally out. Tim's his boyfriend," I said. "Oh, wow! That's incredible," Eric said. "Are they femme?" "No, they really aren't, but they don't hold that against people," I said. "I hate the way I am," Eric said. Eric started to tear up, and Don put his arm around his boy. That was touching to me, and I knew Don really cared for him. "You can't hate that, Eric," I said. "It's who you are. God made you that way. That's what he wants for you," I said. "He sounds like you," Eric said to Don. "I know, 'cause that's the truth," Don said. "Thank you, Denny. Now do you believe it? Now that you've heard it from an objective source?" "Yeah, I guess," Eric said. "Well, believe it, Eric. It's the truth, man," I said. |