The school year was coming to an end, and I was very homesick. I missed my mom and my two little brothers, and I wanted to go home. One night I was in my room, feeling really sad, and I started to cry. Justin and Brian's room was right across the hall from mine. I don't know if he heard me crying or what, but Justin knocked on my door. "Are you okay, Bubba?" Justin asked from the hall. "Yeah. Leave me alone," I said. "No. I'm coming in," he said. The door wasn't locked, so he walked right in. I didn't know him as well as I knew some of the others, and sometimes he spoke gruff and rough, especially to Kyle. They did that to tease one another, so I knew he wasn't mean, but sometimes he scared me a little. On the other hand, Brian worshipped him, so I knew he could be kind and gentle when he wanted to be. He sat down on the bed next to me and put his hand gently on my shoulder. "What's the matter, Bubba? You're missing your people, aren't you?" he asked. "Yes," I said, and sobbed. "Let it out, Bubba. There ain't no shame in crying, that's for sure," he said. "Just let out all that sadness through those eyes." I cried for a few more minutes, and he just sat there petting me. He didn't say anything for a long time, but just having him touch me made me calm down. "I want to go home," I said. "I miss them so bad, Jus." "It's good here, but it's not home, is it? Of course, this is my home. I don't have anyplace else to go, but I can imagine what it must be like for you," he said. "My mom filed for divorce," he said. "She got a job, and she and my brothers have an apartment." "Does she want you to come home?" I asked. "Yeah. But she wants to get on her feet a little more before I can do that," he said. "She has my youngest brother in day care all day, and the middle one goes there after school. She said that's expensive. If I was at home, I could take care of them during the day when school is out for summer. That would save some money." "Did you tell her that?" he asked. "No, I just thought of it," I said. "Here. Call her and tell her your idea. I don't know what day care costs, but saving that money would be like her getting a raise. You could take care of your middle brother after school, too, next year," he said. He handed me his cell phone. "The youngest one is going to start school next year, too, so we could be out of day care altogether," I said. It was sounding better and better to me. I dialed my mom's new number. I told her my idea about me watching the boys instead of sending them to day care. "That would save $500 a month," she said. "Ronnie, I don't know if I can ask you to do that, son. What about baseball? I don't want you to be a servant." "Mom, if I could get home with you and my brothers, I'd be willing to never even watch another baseball game," I said. "I miss you all so much. I want my family back." "I thought you were happy there," she said. "They treat me wonderful, Mom, and everybody is as nice to me as they can be. But I want you, and I want the boys," I said. "How can we get you home?" she asked. "Kevin's parents are coming for Kyle's graduation on May 27th, and they're staying for the weekend. I'll bet they would let me ride home with them," I said. "Check on that, okay?" she said. "It'll be so good to have you home. I've missed you so bad." She started crying when she said that, but I knew it was happy tears, like they all called them around here. I started crying happy tears, too, and then we said goodbye. "I'm going home, Jus. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it," I said. "Gimme a hug, there, Bubba. I'm happy for you, too," Jus said. He hugged me hard. We went down to the den. "Have you been crying?" Denny asked, as soon as I went into the room. "Yeah, but they're happy tears," I said. I told them what had happened on the phone with my mom, and there was a lot of celebrating. They were all happy for me. I felt a little sad about leaving Denny because we had gotten to be such good friends. He was like Jus and Brian. He didn't have anywhere else to go, and I felt sorry about that, too. They made big bowls of ice cream that night, and it was in my honor. That was the first time I had ever been the reason for eating ice cream the way they did it, and that made me feel good. Even the dogs seemed happier than usual, and Brian showed us some of the tricks he was teaching Krewe. We had a great time wisecracking and teasing and cutting up, and I knew I would miss those guys. As good as Kevin and Rick were to me, they weren't my mother. That's who I wanted most.
When I was living with my mom, I never looked forward to summer. School was hell for me because of all the harassment I got, but at least I ate every day when school was going on, and I could check out books from the school library. A lot of days I didn't eat all that much when school was out. Once the watermelons started getting ripe, I'd steal one of those from one of the patches that were all over the place, but watermelon doesn't really fill you up the way meat and potatoes do. I did a good bit of fishing, too, and sometimes I had some pretty good catfish to eat. When my mom was home and not totally strung out, she'd buy a few groceries, especially stuff like peanut butter and Velveeta cheese and bacon and grits. Sometimes she would go away for days, or even weeks, and that's when the food really got scarce. Not only that, but our trailer didn't have an air conditioner. It would get so hot inside that tin box that sometimes I felt like I couldn't breathe. We had small fans, but they didn't really do much good when the air was ninety degrees. Blountstown was built along the Chipola River, and I would go down there to swim and get cool. But there were usually boys down there, and a lot of times they would pick on me. I hated my life, and I hated myself. But most of all, I hated my mom for not taking care of me. That summer coming up was going to be totally different. I was going to have a job, probably as a pool boy at one of the motels, so I'd have some money for the first time in my life. I had money that Rick and Kevin gave me, but I mean money that I earned myself. I was fifteen, and in a few months I'd be old enough to drive. I knew the others would be good about letting me borrow their cars, but, like every boy, I wanted a ride of my own. I had saved the birthday and Christmas money I had gotten, but I would need a lot more to buy a car. I started thinking about the trip to Disney World for Gay Days. I had never been to Disney World, and I had always wanted to go. On the other hand, now that Ron wasn't going to be going, I was thinking that maybe I'd feel out of place. They were all older than I was, and they all had boyfriends who would be there with them. They would probably want to do stuff that I was too young to do, and I was wondering if there was any way I could stay home and work instead of going on that trip. I decided to talk to the older boys about it. "Y'all, I've been thinking about the trip to Disney World," I said one day in the pool. It was just Kyle, Tim, Justin, Brian, and me. They had done some laps, and we were just standing around talking in the water. "I know. I can't wait," Kyle said. It was a week before Kyle's graduation, and he had gotten his hair cut for the first time in months. He had grown it long for the play, and I thought that longer hair looked great on him. He wanted it short for the summer, though, and I could understand that. "Me, too," Justin said. "We're going to see us some fine dudes down there." Brian splashed water in his face to tease him when he said that. "Not as fine as you, Little Buddy," Jus said. We all laughed. "Guys, I was wondering if you thought there was a way I could get out of going," I said. They looked at me like I had just asked what was the best way to commit suicide or something. "You don't want to go?" Brian asked. I explained my thinking. "I can understand that," Tim said, "but you'll be with us. We'll take care of you." "I know you will, Tim, and I know they spent a lot of money on the tour packages and all," I said, "but I would really rather stay here and work." "Hmmm," Kyle said. "This might be the answer to several prayers." "What are you talking about? What have you been praying for?" Justin demanded in that teasing tone of voice he and Kyle used with each other. "I haven't been praying for anything. That's just a figure of speech," Kyle said. "Philip and Ryan want to go on that trip so bad they can taste it. They tried to get tickets like we have, but they were sold out. Now they can go, too. One uses Ron's tickets, and one uses Denny's." "Do you think Kevin and Rick will give the tickets to Philip and Ryan?" Tim asked. "We're not even going to consider 'giving' anything to anybody. But they can damn sure buy 'em off Ron and Denny. They have both gotten so damn much money for graduation, it ain't even funny. Plus, they come from families with money. They're going to buy those tickets, Ron's going to leave here with some jack in his jeans, and Denny's going to have him a nice little bank account. You're saving for a car, aren't you?" Kyle said. I nodded. "You're going to make Ron jack in his jeans?" Justin asked. "No. He's going to jack in your jeans. Sic him, Krewe," Kyle said. Krewe was on the side of the pool with Trixie, but she jumped in when Kyle called her name. Brian looked at Trixie, who was about to come in to play, too, and Brian said "no." Trixie stayed put. "Jack is money, Justin. You dumbass," Kyle said. "Yeah? You tell that to this boy when he gets horny," Justin said, pointing with his thumb at Brian. We all laughed. "I think that's a great idea," Brian said. "Do you think Kevin and Rick will go along with it?" "Hell, yeah. You know them, Bri. They're going to think it's the best damn idea they ever heard of. I've got to figure out just how to pitch it, though," Kyle said. Kyle was right all the way around. Philip and Ryan were eager to get those tickets, and Kevin and Rick let Ron and me keep the money they gave us for them. That was a real windfall, and I was glad it all worked out the way it did. "I can't believe they let us keep all that money," Ron said. "That's your little 'mad money,'" Kyle said. "How much was it, anyway?" "Twelve hundred dollars," Ron said. "There you go. You both got you a little money. And Philip and Ryan got the tickets they wanted. I think this whole thing worked out good," Kyle said. * * * Kyle's graduation was on a Wednesday night, May 27th. We wanted to have a going-away party for Ron, but we also wanted to have a big party for Kyle on the Saturday after his big day. We decided to have a family celebration for Ron on the Saturday before the graduation so as not to detract from Kyle's occasion. One of the things we had talked about doing, that Ron hadn't yet gotten to do with us, is go camping. In a few weeks it would probably be too hot and too buggy to go camping, but in late May the weather was perfect for it. "Where do you want to go, Ron," Rick asked one night when we were planning the event. "I don't know. I've never been camping before," Ron said. "Where do you recommend?" "The two places we like are very different from one another. One is Dune Island, and that's very primitive camping. There aren't any showers or restroom facilities, but it's beautiful. And, of course, there's the Gulf. The dogs can run around freely, too." "Yeah, and we can run around freely naked there," Kyle said. "The other is the Florida Caverns State Park in Marianna. It's got facilities, the cave, horses to ride, canoes. There's a lot to do there. We can take the dogs, but they have to be on a leash at all times," he said. "And we have to wear clothes at all times," Kyle said. "They both sound good, but my idea of camping is more like the island," he said. "Not necessarily the naked part, but . . . " "Don't you worry. You'll like being naked out there," Justin said. "That's what I'd like to do. Go to the island," Ron said. "But what if one of us gets . . . you know." "Same as in the pool. You just ignore it," Rick said. "I can pretty much guarantee it'll happen. You know how we handle that." "Or don't handle it," Justin said. We all laughed. Ron was talking about erections, and I had seen every one of them, except the older guys--Kevin, Rick, Chuck, Jeff, and Tyler--hard as iron fireplace pokers. Nobody cared. "Can I invite Steve?" Ron asked. Steve was the guy he had been dating some. He had told me they hadn't yet had sex, and Ron wasn't sure they ever would. "Of course. And Denny, you can invite Brady if you want to, and, Chuck, we hope you'll invite Tony," Kevin said. "How many would that make us?" "I think it's fourteen," Kyle said. "It'll mean three trips in the boat. Two with people and dogs, and one with equipment and food. No sweat." "Tim and Brian, can you guys quartermaster this thing?" Rick asked. "Yes, sir," they said in unison. "And Kyle, will you handle the chuck wagon?" "You know I will," Kyle said. We decided to go out there on Saturday morning and come home Sunday afternoon. Kyle had a party to go to Friday night. He had two or three on Saturday night, too, but he said he would much rather be with the family. Kyle had been invited to a lot of parties that people were having to celebrate graduation, but he didn't go to many. "It's going to be the same damn people, over and over again," he had said. "I mean, I love my friends to death, but four or five parties are enough. There's just so much celebrating you can do." * * * The party/camping trip for Ron was great. The weather was magnificent, and the island was gorgeous. The name of the place was Emerald Beach, and you knew why when you saw the water in the Gulf of Mexico at that time of year. They told me that in about a month the June Grass would start coming in, and that would cloud the water and make it yucky. May was the perfect month for the beach, though, and that weekend was even more perfect than most. "Do you notice how blue the sky looks," Brian asked Ron, Steve, Brady, and me right after we got there. "Yeah. It's so deep and dark compared to at home," Steve said. "That's because there isn't as much humidity out here," Brian said. "The humidity from off the bays makes the sky pale blue at home." "Cool," Steve said. We didn't waste any time getting naked, once we had our camp set up. "God, some of these guys are huge," Steve said. He had never been swimming at our house, so he hadn't seen them nude before. "Those big ones are what you call showers. Guys like us are growers," Ron said. "They've got it all figured out." "I think I might be starting to grow," Steve said. "What do I do if that happens?" "Just ignore it. Everybody else will. That just happens sometimes with guys, especially younger guys like us. Nobody will care. Believe me," I said. "Maybe not, but I'll care," Steve said. "Don't be embarrassed. And don't be surprised if it gets contagious, either. There are fourteen naked gay guys here. It's bound to happen sometime," I said. We had a wonderful time. We played volleyball, we hiked, we threw the Frisbee around, we went in the Gulf, swimming and body surfing. We tried playing badminton, but there was too much wind. We had brought along kites and Brian's model airplanes, and we played with those. The two dogs were incredibly cute and playful, and they did, or tried to do, everything we did. One time a kite went down into the water, and they both took off to fetch it. Brian immediately called them back, though. The waves were pretty calm about a hundred yards out, so some of us skied. We had brought along masks, fins, and snorkel tubes, so we did a little snorkeling. There really wasn't that much to see, though. Around five o'clock, a family of dolphins showed up just a little off shore. We loaded that boat up almost to the point of swamping it, and we all went out there to swim with them. There were six of them. They came right up to the boat and let us touch them. "Get in with 'em, but don't try to ride 'em," Kyle said. "You might hurt 'em if you do." We jumped in. I expected the dolphins to get out of there when we did that. To my surprise, though, they came up to us, instead. Trixie and Krewe were so cute with those dolphins. They all sniffed each other out, just like dogs do to one another, and they all made friends. "I don't like this," Brian said. He put on a life vest and got into the middle of Trixie, Krewe, and the dolphins. He was never more than a foot away from either dog. Tim put on a life vest and joined Brian to help him out. Justin and Kyle did the same thing. Nothing bad happened, but those boys saw to it that those dogs were safe. "This is absolutely incredible," Tony, Chuck's friend, said. "I've seen these animals at sea lots of times, but I never knew they were this friendly. I've read that they're very intelligent, and now I know it's true." "They're the best," Justin said. "Hey! Next to my dogs, maybe," Brian said. We laughed. As fast as they came in, the dolphins went out again. Kyle put out tow ropes off the back of the boat, and most of us grabbed on for him to take us in. He went slow, but fast enough for it to be really fun. Kyle, Brian, Kevin, Rick, and the puppies were in the boat, and the rest of us were trailing behind. When we got to shore, we all stood up. Every guy on the tow ropes had a huge erection. We all started laughing hysterically, both at the fun we had had and at the predicament we were in. The sunset was magnificent, and then we had drinks and dinner. Some of the older guys had drunk a few beers that afternoon, but nobody was even close to being drunk. Justin and Jeff made drinks with whiskey and coke for whoever wanted them before we ate, and the ones who were drinking had a few after dinner, too. I had had a real problem with my brothers drinking because I didn't know people could drink without getting really, really drunk. They had taught me that you can use alcohol without abusing it. After dinner we had a birthday cake for Kevin. His birthday was Monday, the 25th, and he and Rick were going out on a date that night. Kevin had not wanted any kind of celebration, but Kyle couldn't resist getting his big brother that cake. I knew they loved all of us, but I also knew Kevin and Rick loved Tim and Kyle, and Justin and Brian the most. They never favored them over us, but those six had a chemistry that you could just about feel. They had been together a long time, and I knew all four of the boys considered Kevin and Rick their parents. We played charades around the campfire after dinner, and that was so funny. Everybody tried to come up with something that had a double meaning. It was silly stuff, like "Mama Told Me Not to Come" for a song title, or "Bottoms Up" for a toast. I had to do Much Ado About Nothing as a movie title, and I had never even heard of that movie. I had never played that game before, either, but I really liked it. After we finished playing charades, Tony got out his guitar. He had a great voice, and he sang a couple as he played. "This is supposed to be a sing-along," he said. Well, that was all Kyle needed. I didn't really know too many of the songs we sang, but Kyle, Tony, Kevin, Rick, Jeff, and Tyler knew a bunch of them. We sang some Christmas songs because we all knew them, and we sang some patriotic songs we all knew, too. After a couple of hours, we were tired. The next morning, Brady and I woke up early and went for a walk along the beach. "I can't believe how lucky I am to have you and to know those guys," Brady said. "Think about me, man," I said. "I have no family. I have no home but theirs, but, because of them, I feel like I have a future." "I know," he said. We stopped and kissed and held each other. It didn't take long. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you, too," I said. We rinsed off in the Gulf afterward and went back to camp. "Thank you all so much for this weekend," Ron said. "And for giving me a place when I needed one. I don't know how I could ever repay you." We were in the den. We had been to Mass that Sunday night, and then out to eat, and we were relaxing before going to bed. "Ron, you've been a wonderful son and brother, and we're all going to miss you," Kevin said. "We love you, Bubba, and don't ever forget that. The only repayment we would ever accept is for you to some day do the same thing for a kid, especially a gay boy, who needs what you needed." People were crying all over the room, and I was just about a basket case. "We need to get ice cream on this right away. Get your ass up, Kyle, and come help me. This is an emergency," Justin said. That made us all laugh. They brought out huge bowls of ice cream, as usual, and that night Ron got the banana standing up between two balls of ice cream decorated with coconut hair.
Those last two weeks before graduation were a blur. Prom was on the 9th of May, and the parties started the next weekend. People I didn't know could even spell the word party started having them, and I believe I might have been invited to every damn one. That first weekend after Prom I went to three, one Friday night and one Saturday afternoon, and one Saturday night. And you know what? It was pretty much the same people at all three of them. It was the "cute group" at all three--preppies and jocks who were thinly disguised preppies. People like me, in other words. None of them were good enough to be college athletes, but they were all damn sure going to be fraternity boys and sorority girls. I don't mean to put these people down because they were my friends, and I had known the majority of them all my life. These were mostly people whose families were "somebody" west of the bridge, and I was going to interact with them until I died, probably. But enough is enough. How many times can you relive the "big game" that happened when you were a sophomore? "Philip, I need some air," I said. "How about some smoke?" Philip said. I looked at him hard, not really sure what he was talking about. Philip and I had gotten high together in the past, and I didn't know if that's what he meant or not. "Marlboros, Kyle. Not weed, you dumb fuck. I don't do that shit anymore," he said. I grinned. "Yeah, let's go," I said. "This is the third party I've been to this weekend, and, man, I'm already bored," he said. "I know. Me, too," I said. "This is it until your party. That's the only other one I'm going to," he said. "The only other one I'm going to is Sandy's," I said. "Sandy? Who the hell is Sandy? I ain't even invited to that one," he said. "Yes, you are, Philip. It's Jennifer Bowden. She was Sandy in the fucking play, man. Don't you remember that?" I said. He laughed. "Yeah, I'm going to that one, too, if you are," he said. "Yeah, I'm going. I feel like I have to. She's a damn good friend, and I can't not go to her party. The next night we're camping on the island because Ron is leaving us," I said. "Where the hell's he going?" Philip asked. "Home to his mama, that's where. That's where he belongs, man. He and Justin worked it out, and I worked it out for him to sell you and Ryan his and Denny's tickets to Disney World. You don't remember that shit?" I said. "Of course I remember that, Kyle. What do you think I am, a moron?" "You're a damn good actor, Philip, because right now you're acting just like a damn moron," I said. "It slipped my mind, that's all. Fuck you, Kyle," he said. "We're never going there, and you know it," I said. We doubled over in laughter. I didn't know how many guys had friends as good as I did. Philip and I were like the same person, just cut in half. Justin and I were that way, too. Tim was so different from those guys, but I could only ever imagine myself spending my life with Tim, not with Philip or Justin. Not that the sex wouldn't have been great with them because I knew it would have been. It was just so much more than that with Tim. * * * On Monday night, May 25th, Rick took his man out to dinner and a movie. They were so damn cute and so much in love. They were going to see The Gangs of New York. We gave Kevin his presents before they went out, and he seemed to really like them. The next day the people started rolling in for my graduation. Sarah and Arnie couldn't come, but they had sent a video tape telling me how proud they were of me. The Superintendent of Schools in Sarasota had resigned or been fired or something, and Arnie was acting Superintendent. He had to be there for their own graduations, and Sarah had to be there to close out the school year at her school. I would have loved for them to be with us, but I understood. The four from New Orleans came in Tuesday afternoon. Cherie looked about double the size she had at Easter. They had wanted to come to see me in my play, but that just didn't work out. I mean, I knew there was a limit to how many times two doctors and two lawyers could drop everything to come to Emerald Beach, just to see a kid in a play. It was a six hour drive, and I was glad they could make it as often as they did. Tuesday night was the annual Senior Recognition Assembly. It was the time when all the awards and scholarships were given out to the graduates. As president of the Student Government Association, I had to MC the damn thing. The guidance counselors got it all together and wrote the script for me, but I had to ad lib a little bit, here and there. I thought it went okay, though. "Kyle, you were magnificent," Grandma said. "He wasn't magnificent, he was fabulous," Cherie said. "What did you think, Craig?" I asked. "I thought you did all right," he said. "Yeah, that's what I thought, too," I said. He and I both laughed. "He was better than 'all right,'" my mom said. "I agree with Cherie. You were fabulous, son." "This crowd is about as objective as the other apostles would have been if they had known about Judas at the Last Supper," Justin said. That made everybody laugh. "I was very proud of your awards, son," my mother said. I had gotten a certificate for being a National Merit Finalist and a plaque for being Best Actor. I knew about the first one, but I had no idea about the second. The casts of all the plays that year had voted on Best Actor, and they chose me. I made everybody laugh several times during the program, but the biggest laugh came when they gave out the Perfect Attendance Awards. They were medals to wear around your neck on very pretty ribbons. The only time we ever had to wear them would be at the graduation ceremony itself, but they were still cool. I called out the names, and the people came on stage. "Can somebody check to see why my name was left off the list?" I asked in all sincerity. I don't think too many adults laughed, but the kids went crazy, and I thought my PE teacher was going to fall out of his seat, he was laughing so hard. "Oh, yeah. I forgot," I said, after they had all laughed. That made them laugh again. The one graduation thing I really didn't care for all that much was the Baccalaureate Service the Sunday before. They held it in the Civic Auditorium downtown, and it was for seniors from all the high schools in the school district. It was strictly voluntary, of course, but me and a bunch of my friends decided to go. The seniors all wore their caps and gowns, and that was pretty cool. The robes of every school were a different color. Ours were blue because blue was our main school color. There were only about fifty from Beachside, but we stood out pretty good. The one thing I thought was really cool was these things a lot of the Black kids wore. It looked like a shawl or something like that, and it was very brightly colored. "Don't tell me all of them are gay," I said to Philip. "Look at it close, Kyle. It ain't the right colors to be gay," he said. "Hey, man," I said to one African American dude standing near us. "That thing's beautiful. What is it?" "I'm not sure what you call it, but it's African," he said. "Cool," I said. Seeing the people all dressed up like that was nice, but they lined us up a half hour early outside in the sun. You had to wear a long sleeve dress shirt and tie with the robe, and that would have been bad enough. But with the robe on top of that, it was brutal. I could feel little drops of sweat working their way down different parts of my body. Once we finally got inside and got quiet, I got cold. I wondered if the people who planned that thing had moved to Emerald Beach the week before from Alaska. It only lasted about an hour, but the main speaker was about the most boring guy I had ever heard. His speech was all religious stuff, which was fine, but it was dull, boring religious stuff. And way longer than it had to be, too. They had a few musical numbers which were pretty good, and then it was over. Philip and I had ridden over together in Tim's Jeep, and he was going to come in to swim and hang out when it was over. Ryan was also graduating, but he hadn't gone to the service because of something at his own church that afternoon. Philip and I took off our robes and our shirts and ties in the parking lot before we ever left the auditorium, and we put the top down on the Jeep. We rode through town in high spirits, laughing and cutting up. I mostly went the speed limit, but I knew where I could get away with ten or fifteen extra miles. Or at least I thought I did. Well, you guessed it. A cop pulled me over. "Where are you boys going in such a rush," he asked. "We're going home, officer. We've just been to the Baccalaureate Service for the seniors at the Auditorium," I said. That was not at all relevant, but I thought it might make him want to cut me some slack. "What'd they do at the service? Stick a rocket up your ass?" he asked. Philip and I both laughed. "I didn't mean that to be funny," he said. He was pretty stern. "Sorry," I said. If you didn't mean it to be funny, why the hell did you say it? I thought. "Are you boys graduating?" "Yes, sir," we said together. "When is it?" "Wednesday night," I said. "What school?" "Beachside High School," I said. "Have you had anything to drink?" "No, sir, not a drop." Yet, I thought. "I know you boys are excited about graduation and everything. Let me see your license and registration," he said. Philip got the registration out of the glove compartment, and I handed it all to the man. He barely glanced at the registration and gave it back to me. He studied my license pretty good, though. Oh, shit, I thought. I gave him my fake. Jesus Christ! I'm fucked. "All right, Clay. I'm just going to give you a warning this time, but I'm going to be keeping an eye out for you and this Jeep. You boys be careful, you hear? Go on about your business," he said. "Yes, sir," I said, putting the license away. "Thanks, officer." I drove away very, very slowly, trembling because I was so nervous and scared. "He called you Clay. What the hell did you do? Give him your fake?" Philip asked. "Yeah. Give me a cigarette," I said. "I'm rattled, man." "Kyle, he would have put us under the fucking jail, man," Philip said. "I know. Why do you think I almost shit my pants?" I said. "Thank God he wasn't paying attention," Philip said. We rode along never once breaking the speed limit by even a mile. All of a sudden Philip starts laughing. I thought he had lost his mind, but then I start laughing, too. "We're not going to tell this story, are we?" I said. "I don't know, Kyle. It's pretty damn funny, not to tell it," he said. We were still laughing off and on. "Let's just make this another one of our little secrets, Philip," I said. "Shit, we've got a hundred of 'em. Might as well make this one a hundred and one," he said. "I'm thirsty. Pull over at that gas station so we can get something to drink." I went into the restroom to check my underwear, but they were clean. "Kyle, you've been the best friend any guy could ever have," Philip said, once we were back on the street. "We've been through more shit together than anybody I know." "I know. The same with you," I said. "I wish you weren't going to Tallahassee next year. But you'll have a great time over there." "Ryan and I need to live together, Kyle, and that's the only way we could figure out how to do it," he said. "Besides, you're going to be pulling out in another year, right?" "That's the plan," I said. "Justin and Brian, too?" "Yeah. Brian is going to summer school for both sessions, and he's going to take some Dual Enrolled courses at the college so he can graduate next year with Tim. He's so damn smart, he could go to college tomorrow, if they'd let him," I said. "Are you glad to be graduating?" Philip asked. He was all serious all of a sudden. "Yeah, I'm glad. Aren't you?" "To tell you the truth, man, it's kind of mixed for me," he said. "Yeah, I'd say that's true for me, too. I've had a wonderful year, and I kind of hate to see it end. Still, I found high school to be real confining," I said. "I guess I'm ready for the next step." We drove along without talking. My senior year of high school had been the best year of my life so far, but I didn't think it was going to be the best year ever. I hadn't really worked that hard in school, but I had worked hard on SGA, the play, and on trying to make it good for my brothers on North Lagoon Drive. But every bit of it had been fun. I didn't know what the next year would bring, but I was ready for it, I guess. |