Kyle and Tim, and me and Brian, all went to get Chuck. "This is terrible," Tim said. "I know," Kyle said. "I can't believe his mom died, on top of losing their house. What about his dad?" "He doesn't have a dad," I said. "I don't know what happened to him." "We probably ought to call Kevin and Rick," Brian said. "Justin, give me your phone." Brian had a phone just like the rest of us, but that boy was stubborn as hell about not carrying it on him. Tim was the same way. They said it was against the rules to have one on you at school, but that never stopped Kyle for one second. He always had his on him. They could have done the same thing. I had both their numbers programmed in, so he just speed dialed Kevin. He told him what had happened. "What'd he say?" I asked. "He said to bring him to our house. What do you think he said?" Brian asked. "Don't you get smart with me," I said, joking. He was grinning. He knew he was cute. "He's bigger than all of us, isn't he?" Kyle said. "Yeah. So what?" I said. "Well, he's going to need clothes, that's so what," Kyle said. "He can't wear ours, except maybe underwear and stuff like that. His clothes are all gone, if his house burned down. Did any of you geniuses think of that?" "Shit. No, I didn't think of that," I said. "The first thing we'll ask him is if he has clothes at the cleaners," Brian said. "If he does, we can take him to get them." "Now somebody's finally thinking," Kyle said. "Excellent idea, Bubba. Thank you very much." "He's going to need a suit, too," Brian said. "For the funeral." "Shit. That's right," I said. "There aren't any suits at the warehouse, are there?" "No. Plus, Rick has just about dried that place up for clothes at this time of year. We're going to have to take him to the mall to get a suit. We better do that right away," Kyle said. "Otherwise, it might not be ready on time. You know they're going to have to alter it." "Let's wait and see what state he's in," Brian said. "Don't the hotels have a cleaning shop?" "Yeah. I guess we could get it altered fast there," Kyle said. "I really don't know if they do alterations or not, though." "Yeah, they do," I said. "I set up an alteration job for a guest just today." Chuck was at a neighbor's house when we got there, and he was a mess. His face looked like he had been crying for a week. But guess what? You lose your only parent, your home, and everything you own inside of an hour, and you're going to be a basket case. I guarantee that. We all hugged him big and hard when we got to him. He started crying fresh tears when he hugged me, and I started crying, too. I didn't do that all that much anymore, except when I was really happy, but that day I cried with my friend. We didn't take him to get a suit that day. We did swing by the dry cleaners and pick up his stuff, though. He had, like, four shirts and two pairs of khaki pants in there, and those would do him some good for a few days. His mom had clothes in there, too, and he told the two guys who ran the place, who looked like they were from India or someplace like that, to donate them to charity. "Let's take them," Brian said. "Why?" Kyle asked. "She's got to be buried in something," Brian whispered to Kyle. "Yeah, you're right," Kyle whispered back. So we took his mom's clothes, too. Kyle put the charge on his credit card. That thing came in handy a lot of times, that's for sure. He didn't blink using it, either. One day I'm going to be like that, I thought. Rick had given me a card, but I had never used it. It was just for emergencies. We got Chuck home, and Kevin and Rick were home from work by then. Everybody was really quiet. Kyle opened a bunch of cans of soup and warmed it all up in the microwave for us. He brought it out in a big serving bowl, along with big cups for us to use to eat it out of. He had crackers and cheese and sliced sausage and some cut-up fruit. That was the perfect meal for that kind of situation. He had mixed together all different kinds of soup, everything we had in the house, and it was damn good. People think you have to eat one kind of soup at a time. No. Mix together six or seven kinds, and it's great. After we ate, we had to deal with what was going to happen next. "Justin, take Chuck upstairs to the third floor and get him settled, please, Bubba," Kevin said. "Yes, sir," I said. "I'd like to take a shower," Chuck said. He needed one, too. He had soot and shit all over him, his face, neck, arms, clothes. "You can wear some of my clean underwear," I said. "And put on some of those clothes you got from the cleaners." He still had on his bellhop uniform. "Take a shower with him," Brian whispered to me. "What?" "You heard what I said. Take a shower with him. He needs you, Buddy," Brian said. "What if . . . " "Justin, go take care of your friend. I mean it. Take care of your friend," Brian said. I didn't know what was up, or what was going to come up. But nothing did. I was really glad I took a shower with him, too. It was very comforting for him, but there was nothing sexual about it. Absolutely nothing. Mostly, he just cried the whole time and said how nice I was being to him. I got to see him naked, though, and he was pretty fine. He thanked me so hard for being there for him that I almost started crying. * * * The next few days were tough. We got him a suit and got it altered. We also got the funeral arrangements made. Kevin and Rick went with us to take care of that. I didn't work much the rest of the week, and my brother Jeff filled in for me. He and Tyler knew Chuck from being at our house, but Jeff would have done it for me, even if he had never laid eyes on Chuck. I wanted him to take my paycheck for the time he filled in for me, but he wouldn't do it. That's just the way brothers are, I guess. The funeral was small. They didn't really belong to a church, so the guy from the funeral home conducted it. They had only been in Emerald Beach since the start of the school year. Everybody in his mom's office came, and all of us were there. There probably weren't more than thirty people. Mr. Rooney was there, though, and so was Jason, the bell captain. I have to give them that much, at least. The guy from the funeral home sang "Amazing Grace" at the end, and that was really nice. Kyle piped up really big because the guy told us to join in if we wanted to. I didn't know the words, so I just kind of hummed. Kyle knew every one of those words, though, and he and the funeral guy did harmony. After a few seconds, it was just the two of them singing, and it was beautiful. That is a fine song. Mrs. Jackson was a paralegal at a law office, and the lawyers were all there. All the rest of them from that office, too, I guess. They must have closed the place down for the afternoon. Anyway, it was them and us. Denny and Ron were there, too. Of course, Kevin and Rick might have made them come, or they could have been like Kyle, ready to miss school for anything, on a moment's notice. Still, it felt good to have my brothers around me and my friend. Some of the people from the law office brought food to our house and stayed for a little while after the funeral. It was mostly ladies, but there were a couple of guys, too. Everybody talked about Mrs. Jackson and what a wonderful lady she was. I figured she had to be somebody special to have a son like Chuck. They only stayed about an hour, though, and then it was just us. "Did your mom have family?" Kevin asked. "Not really. She has some friends back where we used to live. I guess I really should call them and let them know what happened. She has a cousin that I know, but that's really the only family she had, besides me," Chuck said. "What about your daddy?" Kyle asked. "Should you call him and let him know?" "He was in the military, and he was killed in the Persian Gulf War when I was little. I guess I should call my grandparents. His parents," Chuck said. "They're pretty old, and I know they couldn't have come for the funeral. They live in Iowa." "Is that where you're from?" Kyle asked. "That's where I was born, but I lived in several places growing up because of the military. We were in Tallahassee before we moved here. My mom was in law school doing her paralegal training. That's why I went to FSU over there," he said. "Why didn't you stay there?" I asked. "It's a long story. I'll tell you about it some time," Chuck said. That didn't sound too good to me. "Is that where you went to high school?" Brian asked. "No. We moved there from Daytona Beach for her to go to school. We moved the summer after I graduated high school," Chuck said. "Do you still have friends in Daytona?" Kyle asked. "No, not really," Chuck said. "Just an ex-boyfriend that I don't keep in touch with. Guys, I wasn't like you all. I didn't have a lot of friends, really. You guys are my first real friends. My boyfriend's brother outed us when we were juniors in high school, and he and I were picked on for being gay. It was pretty bad." And it must have been, too, because he got big ole tears in his eyes when he said that. That made me start to get mad at what they had done to him. I didn't say anything, though, but I looked at Kyle. I could tell he was as mad as I was. "Do you feel like talking about this?" Kevin asked. "Yeah. It's all right," he said. "I got beaten up a couple of times, and my car was vandalized, but mostly it was just laughing at me, calling me names, people 'accidentally' bumping into me in the hall and knocking my books out of my hands. That kind of stuff. He broke up with me right after all of that started and told everybody he wasn't really gay but just liked to get jerked off and to get blowjobs. Let me tell you, he gave as many as he got." "Why did his brother out you?" Kyle asked. "His brother was just ten months younger than him. He was a sophomore when we were juniors. He barged into his room one day and caught us kissing. He demanded that I give him a blowjob, and Dan said 'no.' His brother said we'd regret it, and we did. I wish I had given him the damn blowjob. If I had, though, it probably would have been some other kind of blackmail after that. They didn't get along at all, and his brother was a real jerk. He was jealous of Dan," Chuck said. "Is the brother gay, too?" I asked. "I don't know. Maybe, but it was really a power thing. I hate him, Justin," Chuck said. "We might need to organize us a road trip," Kyle said. "Kyle, shut up with that shit," Rick said. "Y'all are not going anywhere near Daytona, so you might as well forget it. Aren't you suppose to be a Christian? That would be revenge, and Christians don't do revenge." "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that," Kyle said. Tim, Brian, Jeff, Tyler, Kevin, and Rick all laughed when he said that, but I didn't think it was one bit funny. I was mentally agreeing with Kyle, but I kept my mouth shut. Kyle and Rick set out the food the ladies had brought, and we all ate. Afterwards, we changed out of our good clothes and went out to the clubhouse. Chuck was real quiet and real sad. After a while of just sitting and staring into space, he said, "What's going to happen now?" "You're going to stay here for as long as you need to or want to," Kevin said. "Monday morning we're going to start sorting things out. Your mother had life insurance through work, so there will be some money from that. I'm sure there was also insurance on the house. Do you happen to know anything about the mortgage? Like the mortgage company?" "There's a safety deposit box at the bank," Chuck said. "I guess there's information in there about all of that stuff." "Great," Kevin said. "Do you have a key to it?" "Yeah, somewhere. Oh, I know where it was. It was in my dresser drawer at home, so I guess I really don't anymore. Unless it's in my car," he said. He and Kevin and me went out to his car to look for it, and, sure enough, it was there. That was the first lucky break he had had in a week. * * * I went to class first thing Monday morning, and then I came right home. Paul Womack and I usually got together to eat breakfast and talk after class in the morning, but we didn't that day. I was home lickety-split. Chuck and me and Kevin went to the bank. Chuck's name was on the box, just like his mom's, so there were no hassles about that. I didn't know what a safety deposit box was, but it was in some kind of big vault at this big bank. I couldn't go in with Chuck, and neither could Kevin. It was just him and one of the bank guys. Chuck had a key to it, and the bank guy had another key. They had to use both of them at the same time. Otherwise, he couldn't get it open. It didn't take long, and Chuck came out with a wad of papers and stuff in two big envelopes. There was also a display box with medals his dad had won in the military, and Chuck was glad to get that. That poor boy didn't have anything, but at least he had that. One of the envelopes was nothing but family pictures, and the other one had all the important papers. We went back to Kevin's office to look at it. "Yeah, this is absolutely everything we need," Kevin said. "Thank God your mother had the foresight to get a safety deposit box." After he saw what was there, the first thing Kevin did was call the law office where Mrs. Jackson had worked. He made an appointment with the head guy for one o'clock that very afternoon. "They're going to go out of their way to help, Chuck," Kevin said. "The secretary put me through to him as soon as she figured out who I was and why I was calling. That's a good sign." We went and got some lunch, and then we went to the lawyer's office. I figured I'd have to wait out in the waiting room with Kevin, but he let both of us go in with Chuck. Chuck basically said that he trusted us completely and that he needed us, so in we went. The upshot of the meeting was that Chuck would not be poor. His mom had been getting money because of his dad, and she had socked all of it, or most of it, anyway, away in investments. She had bought him his car with some of it, which he owned outright. There were two life insurance policies on her, and one of them, the big one, was double indemnity, which meant it paid double if she died in an accident. The house was insured, too; even the contents. There was car insurance that would probably replace her car, which was totaled. There was a will leaving everything to Chuck, and the lawyer said it was airtight. I wasn't sure what that meant, except that I knew it was a good thing. The lawyer told Chuck there were some things he had to do to get it all sewed up. "Ironically, Chuck, it's the kind of stuff your mother would have done as a paralegal," the lawyer said. "It's contacting the insurance companies, filing probate papers at the courthouse for the will, and things like that. It will be a few weeks before everything is finished, but we'll take care of everything. At no cost, son," he said. Chuck teared up a little when he said that, and I understood why. He told Chuck he had to open bank accounts, both savings and checking, if he didn't already have them. "I have them," Chuck said, and he gave the man the account numbers so the money he would get could be put there. "Is there anything left to the house?" the man asked. "No, not really. I went through it a little, but I couldn't find much of anything," he said. "Chuck, all of us will go back and look some more," Kevin said. "There might be something that you'll want to keep." "Chuck, you've been staying with Mr. Foley, right?" the lawyer asked. "That's right, and he'll continue to stay with us as long as he needs to or wants to," Kevin said. "That part is taken care of." "And you're in school, right?" the lawyer asked. "Yes," Chuck said. "I'm actually supposed to graduate this semester." "Really?" I asked. I didn't know how far along he was. "Yeah. I did my internship last summer at the Surfside Resort, and I'm pretty sure I can get a job there," Chuck said. "Ain't that where you and Rick used to work?" I asked Kevin. "Yeah. We'll talk about this later," Kevin said. "I had no idea you were that close to finishing, Chuck." "Yeah, I am, Kevin," Chuck said. "You'll have a job, Chuck. Don't worry about that," Kevin said. "You have, as they say, connections." That lawyer didn't know what he was talking about, and I'm not sure Chuck did, either, but I damn sure knew. And Kevin knew I knew. He looked at me and smiled, and I grinned back at him. After the paperwork, we went home. "Justin, you and Chuck need to go do some shopping," Kevin said as he dropped us off. "Take this card. Just sign my name, but get him what he needs. Chuck, you can pay us back when the insurance is all settled." "For real?" I said. "No, I'm teasing you, Justin. I'm really going to have you arrested for forgery. Dumbass. We need to get you a card," Kevin said. "I have one. Rick gave it to me, but he told me not to use it except in dire emergencies. It has my name on it and everything," I said. "Oh, I forgot about that. Have you ever used it?" Kevin asked. "No, sir. I haven't had any dire emergencies. Except for that one hooker, and she wouldn't take American Express. She only took Visa," I said. Kevin busted up laughing. "Get your ass out of my car, dumbass," he said, still laughing. "And give me my card back. Use your own." He snatched his card out of my hand. "I feel better using my own one," I said. "I'm not really sure how to spell your name." Kevin and Chuck both laughed hard when I said that. It felt really good to me, making Chuck laugh, after all he'd been through. * * * Chuck and I spent the rest of that day shopping. We went into town to the mall, of course, but we also hit Target, Wal-Mart Super Store, T. J. Maxx, Ross, Steinmart, and two or three other stores. He needed everything, from toothbrushes to dental floss to aftershave to jeans. He was totally without. I got a little bit out of hand at the big department store in the mall when I was tossing him Polo shirts and Hilfiger shirts by the handfuls, but he reigned me in. We got our best deals at T. J. Maxx and Ross, and he bought himself some very nice clothes. "Justin, I can't believe you," he said at one point. "What?" "Our tastes are identical," he said. "So, what's wrong with that?" I asked. "Nothing's wrong with that. I think it just means we're supposed to be friends," he said. We looked at each other and cracked up. I had never had many friends before, but I damn sure wanted him to be mine. I mean, the guys in the house were my dear friends, the best ever anybody could have, but he was sort of an independent friend. He was four years older than me, but that didn't matter. I knew right then that we were going to be friends for life. About three o'clock in the afternoon, my ass was flagging. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. We were in Target, and I could barely look at the merchandise for smelling the food coming out of that deli, or whatever it was. "Do you like to eat?" I asked. He cracked up. "Yeah, I like to eat, and I'm kind of hungry," he said. "Me, too. Let's go get some," I said. Let me tell you something about the deli or lunchroom or whatever they call it at Target. It is damn good. I recommend the hamburgers and the French fries. But don't get you just one. I got me three that day, and that was about right. Get you some onion rings, too, 'cause they are very good. Very fresh and crispy. The next time you and your buds are going out to lunch, and y'all don't know where you want to go, go to Target. This is not a paid ad, and I'm not getting any money or discount or anything for saying it. It's just a fact, at least at our Target. Get your popcorn at Wal-Mart, though. It's the best. After we ate and drank two or three cokes (refills are free at Target), he said, "Why are you doing this for me?" "I'm doing it 'cause I hate you, and the sooner you get fixed up, the sooner you'll be gone," I said. "You asshole," he said. We both cracked up. "You just answered your own question. I'm doing it because I like you and because you're my friend," I said. "And there's no sexual interest?" he asked. That caught me up. "Chuck, please don't go there. You know there is, man. Just like I know there is on your part. I'm committed, Chuck, and I mean that. Yeah, there is a hell of a strong sexual attraction, but it's just got to be as friends, okay? Can you live with that?" "You guys are incredible," he said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "There's a strong attraction between you and Kyle, too, isn't there?" he asked. "Yeah. Very, very strong, and it's been there from the beginning," I said. "So why don't you act on it?" he asked. I lit up a cigarette to give myself some thinking room. I didn't know if that was a smoking area or not, but I needed the time to think. "Kyle and I don't act on it because we're both in love, but not with each other. Getting him in bed would satisfy some big urges. No question about that. He is hotter than hell, and I think you know that. I think anybody who ever saw him knows that. This is going to sound so gay, but he and I are spiritual friends. We love each other to the core, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for that boy. And I know there is nothing he wouldn't do for me. But Kyle and I aren't soul mates the way Brian and I are, or the way Kyle and Tim are. And if Kyle and I had sex more than a time or two, we'd both have nothing," I said. "And we would never be satisfied with just once or twice, if we ever started." "You four guys are really close, aren't you?" "There is no way an outsider could ever know how close the four of us are," I said. "I gathered as much. You guys are really lucky," he said. "I know we are. It's not about being gay. It's about loving," I said. "I know. I'm so lucky to know you," he said.
I really liked Justin's friend Chuck. He was obviously a very smart boy, and he was very cute, too. Jus had me and Kyle and Tim, and Kevin and Rick, and a ton of friends, so he really didn't "need" Chuck the way Chuck needed him. I could tell there was a strong sexual attraction on Chuck's part for Justin, and I knew Justin was sexually attracted to him, as well. I thought about it a lot after I first met Chuck, and I decided that if Justin and I were ever going to have a life together, I had to trust him. I could have said I really didn't want Jus hanging around with Chuck, and I know Jus would have given in to my wishes. That wasn't fair to him or Chuck or our relationship, I didn't think. If Justin wasn't all mine, I wanted to know it sooner, rather than later. The Monday night of the day they went to see the lawyer and to shop for new clothes for Chuck, I had a ton of homework. I was working in our room to avoid the distractions in the den, and Justin came in. "Are you busy, Little Buddy?" he asked. I smiled at him. I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it, too, because it meant my trust had not been misplaced. He was as horny as a two-peckered goat, and he wouldn't have been that way if he and Chuck had been fooling around. "I'm busy, but I'm not too busy for you," I said. He grinned. He led me to the side of the bed from the desk. We undressed each other, and we made love like we hadn't made love in a while. He was passionate and tender, eager and gentle. He was everything I wanted him to be. When we were finished, we were lying in bed. He was smoking a cigarette, with the ashtray seated on his belly. It didn't bother me that he smoked, and he seemed to be doing a lot less of it lately, anyway. "You thought I was screwing around with Chuck, didn't you?" he asked. "Never," I said. "Really?" "Really," I said. "I think Chuck would like to." "Yeah, I know he would. I told him today it's never going to happen, though," he said. "This whole thing with him might have been a hurdle for us, you know?" I said. "Yeah, I know, but I cleared it. I never, ever want to be in a bed like we are right now with anybody but you," he said. I couldn't help myself. I teared up. "What's the matter?" he asked. "You just keep making me happier and happier," I whimpered. "Come here to me," he said, grabbing me around the neck. He set the ashtray on the nightstand, and we made love again.
We had us a hell of an early spring, that's for sure. It seemed that every day since we got home from Mardi Gras there was something new. First, Ron came home with us. Then, as soon as we got home, Josh off-ed himself, and then we had Brady to deal with. Then came Chuck, with his mom and all. Jesus Christ! Kevin and Rick should have each had a sign on their back that said, "Dump on me!" They were two very strong guys, but how much could they take all at one time? "Kyle, I want to thank you for being so nice to me," Ron said one night when he and I had finished shooting pool in the clubhouse. "You're welcome, but I really don't know what you're talking about," I said. "You're the boss around here, aren't you?" "The boss? Hell, no, I'm not the boss. What made you think that? Kevin and Rick are the bosses. Not me," I said. "The other kids think you're the boss. Or at least the boss kid," he said. "I'm just pushy and obnoxious. I'm not the boss," I said. "I know the rest of them put up with me because of you," he said. "They don't put up with you. They like you, Ron. Give us time, and we'll all love you, man. And you'll love us, too. We're all brothers in this house, and we're brothers who stick together," I said. "I already love you," he said. He said that real shy, and I didn't know where the hell that was going. I had my suspicions, though, and I had to nip that in the bud. "You know there are two kinds of love, right?" I said. "One for a boyfriend or partner, like my love for Tim and his for me, and one for a brother or other relative or friend." He didn't respond. He just looked down, like he didn't really want to hear what I was saying. "You and I can love each other as brothers, but the other kind is off limits for us. We can't go there, and you can't go there," I said. "I've never known anybody like you before," he said. "Well, I'm really not all that uncommon," I said. "There are pushy, bossy people everywhere." "You're not pushy or bossy, Kyle, you're . . . " "I'm what?" "You're what I want. I want you, Kyle, and I love you," he said. "Come here, buddy," I said. We were in the clubhouse, just the two of us, and we were sitting across from each other. He got up to come over to the sofa I was sitting on, and his dick was a good six or seven inches ahead of him. He had on sweatpants and evidently no underwear, or maybe boxers, and he was very aroused. He sat down next to me, and I put my arm around him. He was sniffling, like maybe he was crying a little bit. "Ron, you and I are going to be brothers for the rest of our lives, but Tim and I are going to be partners for the rest of our lives. That's just the way it is, man. You think you're in love with me, but you hardly know me. We just met last October, and I didn't even see you again until a few days ago. I want to be totally up-front with you. There's not ever going to be anything sexual between us," I said. He tensed up right then, and I knew what was happening. I looked down at his crotch, and a big wet spot started to develop. He had come. I knew that must be embarrassing as hell to him, so I didn't say anything. Why did these young guys want me so bad? He was the second one to come spontaneously like that. Denny had done it in the shower when I was shaving him. "I think we need to go in the house," I said. He started sobbing. "Kyle, I'm so sorry. I didn't want that to happen, but I couldn't do anything about it," he said. "I'm so ashamed." He was crying hard. "Ron, please don't feel embarrassed, man. I know you couldn't control it. I've done it a whole bunch of times, and most guys do," I said. "You understand where I'm coming from, though, don't you? Tim and I are in this thing for life, and I mean that. It's very difficult sometimes, especially when I meet cute boys like you, but that's the way it is." "I'm sorry I said that stuff," he said. "I know I'm a temptation, but I couldn't help myself." You're cute, but you're not really a temptation, I thought, but I didn't say that. What I said was, "There are a whole lot of temptations out there. Believe it or not, you've helped make me a stronger person tonight, and I thank you for that." I knew I was probably going to burn in hell for telling lies like that, but what was I going to say? You don't interest me? You don't hold a candle to Tim? That would have damn sure done a number on him. I couldn't make him feel bad about himself. "Do you hate me?" he asked. "No, Bubba. I love you. Just not that way," I said. He was quiet for a long time. I knew that the cum in those sweatpants had to be cold as ice by then, and that had to be uncomfortable. It was quite a bit, too. "Come on, Bubba. Let's go inside and get cleaned up," I said. "Did you come, too?" he asked. "No, I didn't," I said. I was being honest for once. "Did you get hard, at least?" he asked. I shook my head "no." "I see what you mean, then," he said. "I don't get hard when Kevin holds me or Rick holds me," I said. "Or Jeff or Justin or any of the others. Only Tim." "You guys are so lucky," he said. "Yeah, I think we are." |