The Reverend Ike Hightower was in the parking lot at school waiting for me the next morning. I had my regular boys with me: Tim, Brian, Denny, and Chip. He came up to us with a mad look on his face. "I'm not leaving," Tim said. "Me, either," Brian said. My boys had my back against a hysterical spokesman for Je-e-sus. "Denny and Chip, y'all go on inside," I said. "No," Chip said. "We're staying." "Suit yourself," I said. God, I felt good. We had enough to trample him, if nothing else. He wasn't as big as me and Tim, anyway. He was young, too, probably no more than twenty or twenty-one. He had cut himself shaving that morning, and he had a piece of toilet paper sticking to the spot right below his right ear to stop the blood. How pitiful, I thought. "Son, I want to talk to you," he said. "About what," I said. I didn't say it nice, either. "About last night. About the abomination of same-sex couples going to the dance together. About perdition." "Perdition? What the fuck does that mean," I asked. "Your language is offensive," he said. "English?" "Your obscenity, not English," he said. "Sorry, dude. What does 'perdition' mean? You got to talk to me in language I understand, if you want me to talk back to you," I said. "It means hell, Kyle, and that's where you're going if you let same-sex couples go to that dance together," he said. "How old are you, Ike," I asked. "I'm nineteen years old, and I've been called by God," he said. "Well, I'm seventeen, and you ain't that much older than me. What makes you think you're so fucking smart, man? Huh?" "Watch your language, son," he said. "Don't fucking 'son' me, dude." "Don't you speak that way to a man of God," he said. "Yeah, right. Hey, wait a minute. You're not wearing a visitor's badge. You're fucking trespassing, man. Hey, Bill!" I kept saying "fuck" so much just to piss him off. I didn't talk that bad, usually. I whistled loud, and Bill Harmon, the School Resource Officer, heard me. He came trotting over. "What's up, Kyle?" "This guy is a trespasser here, and I think he might be a terrorist. A murderer, even. I think he needs to be arrested," I said. "Where's your visitor's badge, sir?" "I don't have one," Ike said. "Have you been living in a tree house, man? You can't come on a school campus in Florida unless you report to the office first and get a visitor's badge," Bill said. "I'm a minister of God," Ike said. "Yeah? So is Osama Bin Laden. Come with me." Ike started taking off running, and Bill tackled his ass, right there in the parking lot. We all cheered Bill. He cuffed that Ike guy pretty quick, too. Way to go, I thought. Ike was too fucking dumb to even know he had been up against the future and hadn't had a prayer. "Is Osama Bin Laden a minister," Tim asked. "I don't think so," Brian said, "but Bill evidently thinks he is. Who cares if he is?" We all laughed hard as we went into school.
Kyle was absolutely unbelievable. I always knew he was, but that fall he was proving it over and over again. He did Homecoming. He had committees and such, but he organized it all. That was pretty incredible to me. He was always horny as hell, too, but we never made love at night. "Tim, wake up. I love you so much. I've been dreaming about you all night," he said. "No, you haven't, " I said. I knew him. He laughed. "No, I haven't, but I've been thinking about you for the last few minutes." "I know. Make love to me, Kyle," I said, and he did. Gloriously. That was who he was, like it or not. And I liked it. No, I loved it. No, I loved him.
"Hey. What are you doing?" It was Cherie. "Talking on the phone. What are you doing," I asked. "The same," she said. "I had the procedure today." "The procedure," I asked. "Oh, the insemination procedure? How'd it go?" "I like the conventional method a lot more," she said. I laughed, and she did, too. "When are we going to know something," I asked. "The doctor said he'll be able to tell if I'm pregnant in about three weeks," she said. "Why so long," I asked. "Evidently it takes that long for my body to begin producing observable changes, if I'm pregnant. Of course, if I have my period, I'll know immediately that I'm not," she said. "God, this is exciting, isn't it," I said. "Kevin, Craig is so worked up I just about can't stand to be around him. I'm never seen anybody as excited as he is," she said. "How is everybody at your end?" "Everybody's fine. Justin had his first college exam, and he got a B+ on it. We're all happy about that. Kyle's all wrapped up in Homecoming. By the way, he was named a National Merit semi-finalist. Do you know what that means?" "Hell, yes, I know what that means. That's incredible. I knew he was smart, but . . . " "I know. We all had the same reaction. He says it was a mistake by the testing company," I said. "Well, I doubt that. The College Board can make no mistakes," she said, irony dripping from her tongue. I laughed. "He has to take the SAT now, which is something I don't think he was really planning to do," I said. "Well, he'd have to take that or the ACT, wouldn't he? For college, I mean," she said. "Not if he goes to the local community college, which I'm sure he'll do for a year, anyway, until Tim is ready to start college. They're still talking about Tulane," I said. "Smart boys," she said. She and my brother were both Tulane graduates and Tulane Law graduates, too. "Let me let you go, Kev. Keep praying," she said. "I will. Talk to you soon." "Bye," she said, and we hung up. I called Rick. "Hey. I just got off the phone with Cherie," I said. "And . . . " "And they did the procedure today. No news yet, though," I said. "How long will it take?" "Three weeks, and then we'll know something. God, I hope this works," I said. "Me, too, Babe. But they can keep trying if it doesn't, right?" "Oh, yeah. How's your arm holding out?" "My arm?" Then, "Oh, shit. My arm will be just fine," he said, laughing. "Later," I said. "Okay. Later." * * * That night we told the boys about Cherie's phone call. It was just Justin, Brian, Alex, and Denny, and they all seemed excited about it. "What do you think they'll name the baby," Denny asked. "I don't know, Bubba," I said. "I think they don't want to get their hopes up too much by talking about things like names." "I've been praying for them," Brian said. "I sure hope it works." "Kevin, you must feel a little like you're on the line here, right, Bubba," Jus said. "What do you mean, Jus," I asked. "Well, it's your sperm and all. What if it's defective or something?" I honestly hadn't even thought of that as a possibility, but he was right. I had always assumed that I was as fertile as the next guy, and I hadn't really considered that I wasn't. "They wouldn't have gone through the procedure if there was anything wrong with Kevin's sperm, Jus. They knew it was live when they gave it to Cherie," Rick said. Phew, I thought. I was beginning to get a little worried for a second. "I was just teasing the stud, Rick," Justin said.
In a family like ours, it's easy for a kid like Denny to get lost. While we really only had four of them living with us, Tim and Kyle were always around, Jeff and Tyler were in and out, and Cody and Alex were attached at the hip. I decided to take Denny on as a special project to see if I could get to know him better. Denny was in the den reading early one Saturday afternoon. I really didn't know where the others were, but you could pretty much count on Denny to have his nose in a book. Don't misunderstand me. I love to read, and Kevin and I both plow through a book a week, usually. But that kid was fanatical about it, almost. There was an outlet center near us that had one of those remainder bookstores in it. Kevin and I had been there a few times, and we had come away with a few hundred dollars worth of books for a tenth of the price. I figured Denny might like to visit it, and that would be something he and I could do together. "Hey, Bubba," I said, "I was thinking about driving over to the outlet center and checking out the big bookstore they have there. Are you interested in going?" "That would be great, Rick," he said. "Go get a shirt and some shoes, and let's go." He was back down in a heartbeat, ready to go. "Have you ever been to a really big bookstore before," I asked once we were on the road. "No, sir," he said. "Er, Rick, I really don't have any money to buy anything with." "You're getting an allowance, aren't you," I asked. "No, sir," he said. "What? Kevin doesn't give you an allowance?" "No, sir," he said. Shit, I thought. How'd we fuck up on that? "Well, you're going to start getting one," I said. "How have you been paying for your lunch?" "Kyle or Tim or Brian or somebody always buys it for me," he said. "We figured out about a year ago, or maybe a little longer, that a guy in high school needs about eighty bucks a week. When Tim lived with us, we set it up that he had access to an ATM account. That way, he could get money when he needed it. Hold on just a second," I said. I dialed Kevin's cell phone number. After he answered, I said, "Babe, are you aware that Denny isn't getting an allowance?" "No. Shit! Make sure he knows not to tell Kyle that we slipped up on that," Kevin said. I laughed. "You just don't want to have to have another 'private talk' with him, do you?" "Let's do the ATM thing like we did with Tim," he said. "Okay. That's what I was thinking, too. I was thinking eighty a week," I said. "Yeah, that's about right. We did seventy-five for Tim, but that was over a year ago. Eighty sounds about right. Alex isn't getting an allowance, either," Kevin said. "Yeah, but he has a job. Justin has never gotten an allowance, and he was an official foster child. I think Alex is doing okay," I said. "You're right. Where are you right now?" "We're headed over to the outlet center to the bookstore," I said. "Find out if he needs shoes or any more clothes," Kevin said. "You can shop there, if he does." "Okay, Babe. I love you. See you later." "Bye," he said. "I love you, too." We had started breaking up a little bit, but I had the basic information I needed. "Kevin said eighty was what he was thinking, too. We'll get that set up on Monday for you, Bubba. I'll give you some money for books today, if you find anything," I said. "Thanks, Rick. You guys are really nice," Denny said. "Oh, and how are you fixed for clothes and shoes?" "Good. I have all the new stuff that we bought when Kyle took us shopping," he said. "What do you say we get you at least a new shirt and new pair of pants? You can always use those," I said. "Cool," he said. We rode along in silence for a while. They were adding two more lanes to the highway we were on, and the construction made it slow. Plus, Saturday afternoon was a busy time on that stretch of road, anyway. Hell, it was always a busy time along through there. "Tell me about what you're doing in school," I said. "My English teacher is wonderful, Rick. I've never known anybody quite like her before. She knows more about books than anybody I've ever even heard of," he said. "Good. Are you interested in any clubs or anything," I asked. "I'm thinking about maybe joining the debate team. What do you think of that?" "Some of the smartest people I knew in high school were debaters. They were so up on current events and all that they even put some of the teachers to shame. I think it would be great for you," I said. "It's expensive, though," he said. "Why is that?" "They have to go on a good many trips for tournaments and to debate at schools out of town. The coach said to plan on spending about three hundred dollars a month on debate-related activities during November, December, January, February, and March," he said. "And I'd have to have a suit and some ties. They have to wear that to debate in," he said. "We'll see if we can find you a suit today. How about that?" "Could we afford the three hundred dollars a month," he asked. Oh, please, I thought. "Yeah, Bubba, we can afford it," I said. Denny and I had a great day together. He was clever, appreciative, and very smart. He was also very polite, which I pretty much already knew. The picture Kevin and I had been given of him based on his previous record was totally and completely wrong. I broached that subject on our return trip. "You know, Denny, you are a very different person than Kevin and I were expecting," I said. "How is that?" "Well, we were told you're a fighter, for one thing. Have you gotten into any fights since you've been with us?" "No, sir. Kyle would whip my ass if I got into a fight at school," he said. "Oh, he would?" "Yes, sir. He said he would, and I believe him," Denny said. "Kyle might stretch the truth now and then, but he doesn't lie," I said. "He's a man of his word." "I know," he said. He got a strange kind of look on his face. "Tim is so lucky." Crush, I thought. Yep, here's another one. "Do you like Kyle," I asked. "Oh, yeah. Very much," he said. "Do you think that maybe you have a little crush on Kyle," I asked. He blushed so hard that I thought I could almost feel the heat coming off his face. "It's okay if you do, you know. Just don't expect him to do anything sexual with you," I said. He blushed even deeper, if that were possible. "Kyle and Tim are in love, aren't they?" "Yeah, Bubba, they are. Very much so," I said. "And Justin and Brian, too, and you and Kevin, right," he said. "Yeah. Do you feel a little left out," I asked. "Yeah. Sometimes," he said. "I don't know if I could ever do anything sexual, like you all do." "When you meet the right boy, you'll be able to, son," I said. "You just called me 'son,'" he said. "That's what you are, isn't it," I said. "Rick, you and Kevin have absolutely no idea how wonderful my life has been since I've been here with you. Everything is clean. People are nice to one another. There's plenty to eat. We're always having fun. It's better than anything I had ever imagined," he said. Tug at my heart, why don't you, I thought. At that moment I would have taken in a busload of kids like him. "Rick, I come from trash. Poor white trash, of the worst kind," he said. "But you're not trash, are you," I said. "Maybe I am, Rick. Can you be anything else when you come from trash," he asked. "Do you think Justin is trash," I asked. "Oh, no. He's wonderful," he said. "He's so nice and so much fun. He's not like me." "Denny, Justin would say this about himself, if he were here right now, so don't get upset at what I'm about to tell you, okay?" "Okay," he said. "Compared to Justin's background, your background was upper class," I said. "Really!?" "Really, son," I said. "I'm not going to tell you too much about Justin. He can tell you himself when he gets to know you better, but I will say this. Kyle and Tim found him naked in a motel room in chains." "My God," he said. "Brian is from a background about like yours," I said. "You're kidding," he said. "No, I'm not. Those boys aren't trash, are they," I said. "Never, Rick. What about Kyle and Tim," he asked. "Kyle, Tim, and Jeff all come from middle class backgrounds. Upper-middle in Kyle's case, and probably Tim's, too. I'm not sure about Jeff, but his background is definitely middle class. Did you know Jeff and Kyle's brother, Clay, were lovers at one time? Clay died just about a year ago," I said. "We didn't know him very well, though." "You're blowing my mind," he said. "What about Alex?" "I think Alex came from a middle-class family, but it was abusive and dysfunctional. He ran away because his father beat him one too many times," I said. "And he didn't even know Alex was gay. There's no telling what might have happened if he had found that out." "I guess I'm not the luckiest one in the house, after all," he said. "Don't mention that you and I talked about this stuff, okay? They don't try to hide their pasts, but let them bring it up if they want to, alright?" "Yes, sir. They all seem so normal," he said. "They do? Guess what? You do, too," I said. He started crying then, and he cried quietly the rest of the way home. "Rick, thank you for a wonderful day, and for all the stuff," he said when we got home. "Go put it in your room. I'm sure the rest of them are wondering where the hell we've been. It's almost time to leave for Mass," I said. "Yes, sir. Rick, can I kiss you," he asked. I touched my right cheek, the one closest to him. He touched it gently with his lips, and I knew that taking time with him that day was worth its weight in gold for that kid. I had to gasp for breath to keep from sobbing.
Homecoming just about did in all the SGA officers. I was second vice-president, which meant I was right there in the thick of it. I was on all three of the big committees, but I was chairman of the bonfire/fish fry committee. We met every Tuesday night, and I never missed a meeting. I went to the Monday meeting of the Dance/Court Committee pretty often because my best friend, Kyle Goodson, chaired that one. He usually got us out of there in a hour, and then he and I would go eat. Those were some good evenings that we spent together. Kyle and I had known each other since kindergarten. When we were little, we used to fight like cats and dogs, but we always liked each other. Once he and I got to be friends, we discovered that our dad's had been friends since they had been little kids, and his Grandpa Goodson and my Grandpa Andrews had been friends forever, too. I'm not saying the older guys had ever been as close as Kyle and I were, but they were definitely good friends. My family had always been in real estate, and Kyle's family had always been in the hotel business. There were many, many deep, entangled roots. We all did a great job organizing Homecoming. The bonfire was a true pain in the ass because we had to get a permit from the state to have it. I had to fill out a form that was thirty pages long, and I'm not kidding, for the Florida Environmental Protection Agency. We hadn't had a whole lot of rain in the last couple of months, except for one tiny-ass tropical storm, and they weren't going to let us have it. My dad and Mr. Gene and some of the other dads got busy calling in favors, though, and they finally gave us a permit. Of course, we had to pay a fucking fortune to the Beach fire department to have four tank trucks on site during the fire, but the dads put up that money. Fish fry. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Like me, you've probably been to a million of them. Well, it wasn't. That's where the mothers came in. My mom knew everybody, and she and Miss Rita worked their butts off to make that thing happen. By the time I got around to getting something to eat, all the grouper and catfish were gone. All they had left was mullet. Somebody had left the hush puppies in way too long, and they were hard as rocks. The French fires I got had been cooked in fish grease, and they were pretty rank. The coleslaw was good, though. "Hey, Andrews," Kyle had said to me one day a couple of weeks before Homecoming. "I think we need raws at the fish fry. I'm dying for some, man." "I don't think they've ever had oysters at the fish fry before, Kyle," I said. "I know. That's why our class has got to do it, man," he said. "Three bucks a dozen, and we'll make us a fucking fortune." I had to think about that. I loved raw oysters better than just about anything, and I knew people would go for them. Homecoming was the second weekend in October, and I knew not too many people would have had any raws by then. I gave in, mostly out of greed, both for the oysters and the money. Jesus, what a mistake! I had to end up hiring four guys to shuck the damn things, and the lines were so long that some people missed most of the pep rally waiting to get theirs. If I ever had to do that again, I'd know better how to organize that operation. Kyle told me he ate three dozen and they were really good. Yeah? I didn't eat a fucking one. We did make a bunch of money on that booth, though. As the SGA president, Kyle MC'd the pep rally with the guy who had been the first SGA president ten years before, the first year the school had seniors. They were good, too. The old guy was the vice president of a bank his family owned, and he was as funny as Kyle was. The thing was supposed to be for alumni, as well as students, and they showed up in droves. The full band was there, of course, and then a smaller group got pulled out to play dance music. They played mostly old stuff, but the people danced. I didn't get that shit fully closed down till 11:30. By then I wanted a cigarette so bad I could scream. I took a chance and bummed one off my dad. "Kyle asked me to bum a cigarette off you for him, Daddy," I said. "Kyle needs one, does he," he said. "Yes, sir," I said. "That Kyle is a bad boy. I'm glad you don't need one, son," he said, grinning at me. "You know, don't you, Daddy," I said. "Son, I've known you and Kyle smoke for a couple of years, at least," he said. "It ain't the worse thing you've had in your mouth." "Daddy, that was a low blow," I said. "Your words, son, not mine." When I figured out what he was saying, I died laughing. "Come here," he said, and he grabbed me hard around the neck. "Your Mamma and I are as proud of you as any parents could ever be of their kid, Philip. This was incredible tonight, son. You worked hard on this, and it paid off." "Thanks, Daddy," I said. He turned me loose and gave me a light for my smoke. Wow! What a night! * * * The next day was the parade. The two oldest schools in the county still had floats in their parades, but we didn't. The girls who were candidates rode in convertibles, sitting on the top of the back seat. The JV and varsity football teams all road in stake-body trucks. The bands from Beachside, two middle schools that fed Beachside, and a couple of elementaries marched on the street. Miss Sally Ortega, our principal, and Dr. Levi, the Superintendent, marched on the street, too. The Flag Corps was in it, the Dance Team, the Rhythmic Gymnastics team, the wrestling team--a bunch of teams--were all in it. The SGA officers were on a pick-up truck. Kyle was in a tux. "You look mighty handsome, there, buddy," I said to him. "Shut the fuck up. I feel like a damn fool in this get-up," he said. "Kyle, I'm telling you. You really do look good, man," I said. "You think?" "Hell, I know," I said. "See, nobody's looking at your face. They're just looking at the suit. That's why you look good." "Fuck you," he said, and we both nearly died laughing. * * * That night at our stadium I was wearing a damn tux, too. Only the escorts of the court had to wear them, but I did 'cause my girl was in the court. Hell, she might even be Queen. "I think you're going to be the queen, Philip," Kyle said while we were in the bleachers getting ready to go out. He was MC-ing that, too. We both laughed. "Shut up, asshole. Don't out me in front of all these people," I said. "Philip, what would you do if I put my hand on your crotch right now and started rubbing. Real slow and nice. Real easy like. Catching that big ole head of your dick. Rubbing it, man. Ohhh, so nice." "Kyle, shut up. You're giving me a hard-on," I said. "Oh. Maybe I need to get down on my knees, take it out, and suck it a little bit for you, Philip," he said. "Ask Tim. I know how to suck a hard dick." I knew he was teasing me, and part of me thought the whole thing was funny. But part of me wanted to beat the shit out of him. "Kyle, shut up, goddamn it," I said. I was half mad, and he was laughing. My dick was sticking straight up in my lap. There was no way I could walk out on that field like that, and the time was getting mighty close. He reached over and flicked it with his finger. I don't know what he did, but that sucker was down in two heartbeats. "Thank you," I said, even though it had hurt a little. "You didn't think I was going to let you go out there like that, did you," he asked. I wanted to grab him up in a big hug and kiss his lips off. "I used to think the devil's name was Satan. Now I know his name is Kyle," I said. We both laughed really hard. The half-time ceremonies were really nice. Miss Sally Ortega, our principal, was right there in the middle of it. She spoke briefly and welcomed all the alumni and guests. Kyle did a real good job as the MC, and none of the candidates or their escorts tripped as we walked them from the middle of the field. The band did about the best show I'd ever seen of theirs, and everybody was festive. Making all that shit happen was a lot of damn work, but I think we all learned something from it.
Philip and Ryan wanted me and Tim to go out with them after the game. "Are you out of your mind, Philip," I asked him. "I'm so damn tired I'm about to drop, man. Aren't you tired?" "Kyle, you're a fucking slacker, man," Philip said. "Maybe I am, Philip, but I've still got tomorrow night, you know? Last night was totally awesome, and you did a wonderful job with that. But I still have my night to do, you know?" "Okay, but we're partying our asses off tomorrow night, right?" "Absolutely, Philip. Tim and I will be there, son. Don't you worry about that one bit. You got the limo lined up?" "Yeah, but you still owe me money for that," he said. "Oh, that's right. Eighty, right?" "Yeah," he said. "I'll pay my way," Tim said. "Forty each then," Philip said. Tim and I took out our wallets at the same time. We each handed him two twenties. "See y'all tomorrow," Philip said. "Good night, guys," Ryan said. He had been an escort, too, but not of one of the ones in the court. Tim kissed me as soon as we got in the car. "Kyle, you were awesome last night and again tonight," he said. "You're awesome every night," I said. "You know what I mean." "Yeah, I do, and thank you, Babe," I said. "Let's go home," he said. I knew he meant Kevin and Rick's house, and that's where I wanted to be, too. With my peeps. * * * They were all in the den when we got there, which I knew they would be. "Kyle, this thing has been incredible so far," Kevin said. Before I sat down good, Justin handed me a drink. It was a "real" drink, too. Bourbon and coke. "You deserve it," he said. "Thanks, Bubba," I said. "Did you think it went good," I asked. I stripped out of my coat, vest, and bow tie. I was down to shirt and pants. "Take the shirt off, Kyle," Kevin said. "You don't want to get it messed up. You've got to wear it again." I pulled that shirt off over my head, leaving the studs and cuff links right where they were. I didn't want to have to go through that again. I had on a white tee shirt under the shirt. "I didn't realize you had to be the MC at all this stuff," Kevin said. "Yeah, tomorrow night, too. First I had to organize it, and then I have to run it all. This is way too big a job for me," I said. "Get a fucking grip, dude," Justin said. "It ain't too big for you. You're doing it good, ain't you?" "Do y'all think I'm doing it good," I asked. "Yes, Kyle, you're doing it extremely well," Kevin said. "I hope so," I said. "What I like is the fact that you and Philip have been doing stuff together," Tim said. "I know how much he means to you, Babe, and I really like it that you guys have connected so well on this thing." "Yeah, we have. I can't ever replace him in my heart, and it is good we've been doing stuff," I said. "You told me one time that he's your best friend from childhood and I'm your best friend from adulthood," Justin said. "That's exactly right, Jus, and that's the way it's going to always be. So you and Philip had best get to know one another good," I said. "Lighten up, Kyle. I like him a lot. It ain't a contest, you know?" I laughed. "I know. He likes you a lot, too. I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed." Timmy went up with me, but I was sound asleep before he had even brushed his teeth. |