Sunday night my son and his sons and husband totally blew my mind. I had never been part of a family like that, a community like that, really, and I guess I had never even imagined such a thing. Rick wasn't just a part of it. He and Kevin had created it, and they were its central focus. San Diego had a thriving gay community, and they were all about economic prosperity and civil rights. From what I saw that weekend, Emerald Beach also had a thriving gay community, but they were all about wholesome fun, acceptance, and love. John reminded me that my experience with the "gay community" was exclusively in the clubs and discos and places where gay men came together to party anonymously, and that just as he and I had created a secure and mutually supportive environment, many of our gay brothers in San Diego had as well. Monday was a work day for the boys, and they all presented themselves at the breakfast table in uniform. All seven of them. Tyler and Cody were gone that morning, and it was just the core. "I've got to interview some teachers this afternoon after work, so y'all don't wait for me to work out," Kyle said. "Okay," Rick said. "Jus and Brian are going to take me to look at cars after work," Alex said. "Try to find something you can buy out right," Kyle said. "Financing a car sucks." "He might want to get something that's going to last him, Kyle," Justin said. "It'll be more expensive." "True. How much you got, Alex?" "About six thousand," Alex said. "That's a real good down payment, if nothing else," Kyle said. "In fact, you could get a real nice lease car. My car is a lease, and so is Jeff's. That's the only way my daddy gets cars." "That's not a bad idea," Kevin said. They kept up talk like that for the rest of breakfast. Rick and Kevin were in polo shirts and nice shorts, so I figured they were ready for the day. The kids left, and John and I showered and got dressed. Rick and Kevin were going to show us around Emerald Beach. Our first stop was the Goodson Building where their offices were located. It was a six-story building right on the beach, and the view from their fifth-floor offices was absolutely spectacular. They introduced us as their "friends" from California, and I noticed several double-takes when people looked first at Rick and then at me. After that happened a couple of times, Rick switched to introducing me as his father. I liked the sound of that a great deal, especially since I knew his status both at work and among his friends, but I could tell he wasn't totally comfortable with it. They took us around to several of the larger hotels, and we saw all the boys, or most of them, at least, at one called the Laguna Hotel. It was quite nice, in the public areas, at least. I assumed the rooms were nice, too. "How many are there," I asked. "Four hotels and seven motels," Kevin said. "We won't go to all of them, but I just wanted you to get an idea of how big this business is. There are sixteen gift shops, too." We drove up and down the beach, and it was quite heavily developed. You could see glimpses of the water between the high rise buildings, but there was very little open sand in the commercial area. Toward the western end we came to five or six stretches of "dedicated beach," meaning the ocean side couldn't be developed at all. In those spots, some of which went on for quite a way, you couldn't see the water either because the natural dunes were so high. We went into "town," and it was quite a nice city. There were some beautiful old neighborhoods where the houses were built on large, nicely-landscaped lots. The ones near the water were the finest, of course, but there were many nice ones on the streets north of the bay. Like any coastal town, there were bayous and inlets everywhere, so it was rather rare to find a straight street. Downtown was quaint and quite busy, and it was evident there had been a downtown redevelopment project a few years before. We passed several beautiful parks, and, while they were obviously being used by the citizens, there was an air of peace and quiet about them. All things considered, Emerald Beach was a place where I thought I could be happy. They took us to the airport so we could take care of our departure arrangements. They had a flight the next morning at ten that was perfect for us, and we booked seats on it. That night I expected another big feed, not that John and I needed one. But that wasn't the case, at all. "We more or less just snack at night," Rick said. "Of course, when you see the size of the snacks some of them eat, you'll wonder at the terminology." It was a very relaxed, and relaxing, evening. We all had our snacks together in the den. Some of the boys ate bowls of cereal and a couple of pieces of fruit. A couple of them made themselves hotdogs and chili in the microwave. Kyle dug out some leftover hamburgers from the night before for whoever wanted them, and Rick and Kevin each had a salad. "You want me to make you and John a salad," Kyle asked. "That would be very nice, Kyle," I said. "I'll put some crabmeat in it, if you want me to. I catch 'em, and sometimes we sit around picking them out while we watch TV. I've got about twenty pounds in the freezer." My God! I thought. I had grown up in a coastal town, so I knew crabs were plentiful, especially if you had a boat and some traps, but twenty pounds of lump blue crab meat in San Diego would have been worth a king's ransom. "That sounds really good," I said. "I made up a really nice vinaigrette that's light and just perfect with crab," he said. "Would you like to try that?" "Yeah, that sounds great," I said. I almost said, "Yeah, that sounds great, Julia," but I was afraid he wouldn't get the reference to Julia Child, the French Chef, and would be offended. He gave us a beautiful salad, full of crab, with crackers and a wedge of Stilton cheese. He poured us each a glass of the coldest, driest Chardonnay I had ever tasted, and that "snack" would have cost forty bucks each in any number of places back home. "God, that cheese smells nasty, Kyle. Where the hell did you get it? From between your toes," Justin asked. "No, Bubba. Tim and Kevin make it for me," Kyle said with an absolutely straight face. John and I looked at one another and almost cried, we laughed so hard. "Okay, guys. That's enough with the gross cheese jokes. People are trying to eat," Kevin said. Kevin looked at us with a big grin on his face, knowing we were delighted with the word play. "They never let up," he said, and John and I laughed some more. We adjourned to the clubhouse after our snack. Tyler and Cody came over, and the two boys from next door drifted in. Chip showed up on his bicycle. "Did you guys work out today," Chip asked. "Yeah, they worked out, but I didn't because I was at school. Where the hell were you," Kyle asked. "I was reading in bed, and I fell asleep. I didn't wake up till my dad got home," he said. "You little Chip," Kyle said. "Don't call me Chip. The name's Peanut, and damn proud of it," he said. Kyle grabbed him into a huge hug and picked him up off his feet. "Let's dance," Kyle said. "Put me down before I kick your balls off," Chip said. Kyle dropped him to the floor and then pounced on him while he was down. They were both laughing the pure, innocent laughter of boys having fun, just being boys. There were sixteen boys and men at that house that night. Some were watching an Atlanta Braves baseball game on TV, some were shooting pool, some were playing ping pong, and some were throwing darts. Outside, a couple of guys were shooting baskets, and a couple were in the pool. "This is our family, Andy," Rick said. "This is our life." "And it's the most remarkable thing I've ever seen, Rick," I said. "Thanks," he said. "Would you guys like a drink?" Kevin, John, and I said we would, and Rick got up to make them for us. "He's going to leave the bottle out on purpose. Watch the boys sniff around," Kevin said. "They wouldn't be healthy, red-blooded boys if they didn't sniff around," John said. "Didn't you do that?" "Of course, I did. If we went to a wedding or something like that, my brother and I would go from table to table taking swigs out of glasses the people had left on the table while they were dancing," Kevin said. "Then we'd go out into the parking lot and smoke cigarettes. We were awful." "No, you weren't, Kevin. You were just kids," I said. Rick brought our drinks to the table we were sitting at. I watched the bar. Kyle was the first one there. He snatched up the bottle and went into the kitchen. He came back a minute later with four plastic cups, two in each hand, and the bottle of booze under his left arm. He set the bottle back on the bar, and he gave one cup each to Justin, Jeff, and Tyler. "Are you watching this," Kevin asked. "What," Rick asked. "Kyle and them sneaking drinks," Kevin said. "I left it out on purpose," Rick said. Kevin, John, and I laughed. Seth, Cody, and Alex were the next ones up. They did the same thing. We all laughed some more. "You don't drink at all, Rick," John asked. "I drink a little wine, if it's part of a meal," Rick said. "But that's it." "He tastes a little wine that's part of a meal," Kevin said. "And no smoking, either, Rick," I asked. "No. Not anymore. I was just a little bit embarrassed when the first and only thing I wanted after finishing a marathon was a cigarette," he said. We all laughed, but John laughed so hard I thought he would need help. John and I were both smokers. "Rick, I know seeing me hasn't been easy for you," I said. "No, it's been easy, Andy. The kids won you over, didn't they?" "Rick, I felt guilty as hell for all these years about you. I knew I couldn't openly be your father and a gay man in Sarasota at the same time. I didn't want you to be embarrassed by having a gay dad, and everyone would have known." "The old friends knew, Dad," Rick said. My heart melted. That was the first time he had ever called me Dad. Ever. "I'm sure. Your friends never knew, though, did they?" "No, sir." "Rick, the kids won me over, totally. What they did was tell me that when I participated in your creation, I did a wonderful and noble thing. Rick, John and I have made a lot of money in our business. We have absolutely everything we want, materially. I think now we have a human dimension that we were lacking." "You have a family here, Dad," Rick said. "A pretty big one, too." "I know. What happened last night with Chip was unbelievable to me. They don't know if he's gay, bi, or straight, and they don't care!" "Nope. It doesn't matter," Rick said. "That's the way it's supposed to be," I said. * * * Rick and Kevin went with us to the airport the next morning. We had a rental car to turn in; otherwise, we would have all driven in together. "You've had quite a week," John said, as we were following Rick and Kevin to the airport. "I know. These last few days have sort of rejuvenated me, though," I said. "I wish I had a picture from last night when he called you 'Dad,'" John said. I chuckled. "I'm sure you could have driven a truck into my mouth," I said. "What do you think of the idea of foster kids," John asked. "Those kids? I think they're wonderful," I said. "Yeah, they are, but that's not what I meant. I meant for us." I was totally and completely surprised by that question. I had never even entertained the possibility that John and I could be foster parents, but, after seeing the Florida boys, it was definitely something I wanted to think about. "Would you be willing," I asked. "Yeah." "Why haven't you brought it up before?" "Because I didn't think it was possible before this trip," he said. "Am I that selfish," I asked. "I won't even grace that with a response. You know perfectly well you're not," he said. "Let's think about that, and talk about it some more," I said. "Foster kids aren't all golden, like those boys." "Yeah, but many of them are. We've just had proof of that." We continued the drive in silence, each one no doubt thinking about the possibilities. We turned in the car in record time, one of the blessings of a small airport. Rick and Kevin accompanied us as far as airport security would let them, and they waited until our plane took off. Why people do that is beyond me, but they do. John and I usually slept on airplanes, but that day I don't think either of us closed our eyes. The death of my father had brought about the birth of my relationship with my son and my grandsons, and I knew my life--our lives, really--would never be the same.
Andy and John left on a Tuesday, July 28th, and we were leaving the following Sunday for Montana. That was a trip I was really looking forward to, so I could see my little boy again. But we had another boy we had to worry about, and that was Seth. He was leaving on Saturday, the first of August. I had to think fast. We had to have a big send-off party Friday night. Nobody ever thought about shit like that but me. Why was that? I mean, I loved giving a party better than anything, but part of giving a party is knowing you have one to give. We couldn't let that boy go home without doing something special. "Kevin and Rick, we need to have a serious talk," I said to them. "What's the matter, Stud? Is somebody pregnant," Rick asked. "Yeah. Trixie." "Kyle, you are so fucking gross, man," Rick said. All the time he was laughing. "Seth is leaving Saturday. We have to have a send-off party, or something. Don't you think?" "Seth has really grown up this summer, hasn't he," Kevin said. "Yeah, he has, and we need to celebrate that, don't you think," I said. They were sometimes hard to get focused. "Yeah. What are you thinking," Rick asked. "Well, we could do the pool-party thing, but that's getting kind of old hat, don't you think," I asked. "Everybody loves those, Kyle," Kevin said. "I know, but you can run it in the ground, you know?" "What if we ask Mont to take us to the island on his boat," Kevin asked. "Now, that would be pretty awesome," I said. "I don't think Seth has been on his boat, or out to the island." Kevin dialed up Mont and asked him if we could do it. Kev said we would pay for the gas. Mont said he thought it was a damn good idea. He thought we should camp out on the island on Friday night and go home Saturday morning. That trip to the island was about the best thing we had done that summer as a whole family. I mean, Mont's boat was big enough to get us all out there at one time. There were probably twenty guys, altogether, and one big, black dog. We took skim boards, and I showed people how to do that. We took volleyball stuff, and we played that. We took Frisbees, and everybody, including Trixie, tossed those around. We body-surfed, and that was fun. We were there maybe fifteen hours altogether, but we had a great time. "Kyle, this has been the best month and a half of my life, man," Seth said. "When I think about how far I've come because of you . . . " "Yeah. You've put on some muscle here," I said, feeling up his bicep. I knew what he was really talking about, but I didn't want to go there. "Yeah, that, too," he said. "You're going to be a regular here throughout the year, right?" "I'm going to get over here as often as I can, but, you know . . ." "Yeah, I know. And we're going to get over there to see you as often as we can, too, buddy," I said. "Kyle, I love you," he said. "Stop it! What is this shit?" "No, there's no stopping it, Kyle. You gave me a life, dude. And I love you for it," he said. "This is embarrassing, man," I said. "Well, embarrassing or not, it's true. And I love you for it," he said. "How much have you had to drink tonight," I asked. "I've had a couple, but this isn't liquor talking, man. This is me. You don't really know what you do to people, Kyle. How you lift them up and make them whole. You did that to me. You and Tim, and Justin and Brian, too. You accepted me at Mardi Gras, sight unseen. You accepted me into your home this summer. You fixed me up with Cody, and that's been unbelievable for me. Let me just love you, okay?" "I love you, too, Seth." "I was hoping you felt that way," he said. "You better go over there and see about Cody," I said. "I will. But I wanted to say it. Thank you, Kyle, for everything." That boy was going to go on in life to be a really big something. Maybe a hospitality lawyer. If that's what he was going to be, I would definitely be one of his regular clients. "What's going to happen with you and Cody," I asked. "We're going to be friends the rest of our lives," he said. He said it in a way that made me know that was it. Friends. Not boyfriends. "Are you guys busting up," I asked. "Yeah, sort of, but not really breaking up, in the usual sense," Seth said. "That sounds like lawyer talk, dude," I said. He laughed. "You don't cut me any slack, do you," he asked, laughing a little. I laughed, too. "Not with that kind of bullshit. He's either your boyfriend or he isn't," I said. "That's like just coming a little bit. Or just being a little bit pregnant." He was laughing hard. "We're not going to be boyfriends after tonight," he said. "I need to explain that to you, Kyle." "No, you don't. At our age, we don't need a boyfriend who's five hours away. We need him to be where we are, right?" "That's exactly right. Cody and I have never been in love," he said. "I know that." "You do?" "Well, I didn't really know it, but I guessed it," I said. "But I know you like him a lot, and you guys love one another like friends do. Like you and I love one another. Am I right?" "You are absolutely right. All summer, I've worried I was using him for sex, you know? And for, like, status, and whatnot. I mean, I've liked him a lot from the first day I met him, and he's liked me, too. The physical stuff just seemed right, you know? Even though we weren't in love," he said. "I'm fixing to become a Catholic, you know," I said. "Cool. No, I didn't know that. Er, Kyle, how is that related to what we've been talking about? Help me out here," he said. I liked that big ole boy so much, and I was having fun with him. "I'm going to be a Catholic, with all the benefits, but without all the fucking guilt," I said. He laughed his ass off. "You know about that," he asked. "God, Almighty! I've watched 'em close for a year and a half, Seth. Yeah, I know about it. It's like this legendary thing. Jews and Catholics. Two of a kind," I said. "Yeah, I re . . . guess," he said. "You were going to say 'reckon,' weren't you? Our language is rubbing off on you, Bubba, isn't it?" "Yeah, I reckon," he said, and we both laughed. "Do you know what a fuck-buddy is? Or a jerk off-buddy?" "No, but I think you're fixing to tell me," he said. I grinned hard and big when he said that. That boy was learning. We were going to make a Southerner out of that New Orleans Yankee yet. "A fuck-buddy or a jerk off-buddy or a suck-buddy is a good friend that you really love, but only as a friend. When you get together, you have sex. Notice I didn't say 'make love,' 'cause that ain't what it is. The sex is good 'cause you care about one another, but it ain't the same as with somebody you're really in love with," I said. "How do you know about this," he asked. "Fair question. I read a good bit, that's how," I said. He and I both laughed to beat the band. "I've got to go tell Cody about this new development," he said. "Now your little Catholic ass won't feel quite as guilty, will it," I said. He laughed even more, and then he grabbed me in a hug. "I love you, you little shit," he said. "I love you, too, Bubba. Friends for life?" "Friends for life and for eternity in heaven," he said. "Heaven or hell, one," I said. He laughed some more, and then he went off to find Cody. * * * All that talk with Seth about becoming a Catholic reminded me I hadn't yet spoken to Doc about being my sponsor. George had come with us to celebrate Seth because Doc was a good guy. That was the only reason. I knew he would much rather be at home with Sonya in his air conditioned house. He also wanted to spend time with Tim and me, though, and he knew we'd be gone for two weeks. "Doc, would you go for a walk down the beach with me, please," I asked him when I went over to where he was. "Certainly, Kyle. Is something the matter, son?" "No, sir, but I have something important to talk to you about," I said. "Let's go," he said. We walked a little ways without talking. "Kyle, are you and Tim having trouble," he asked. I started laughing, and he got a big grin. "No, sir. Not at all. This is private, but it's not that kind of stuff," I said. "You scared me, son," he said. "I'm sorry, Doc. No, I wanted to talk to you in private because I want to become a Catholic," I said. It was like a jolt of electricity went through him. He lit up. I was smiling big, too. "Yeah, I do," I said. "I've talked to Jerry about it, and he explained what I'm going to have to do. I have to go through something called the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. It takes about eight months, and I'll officially be a Catholic at Easter." "I know about that," he said. "It's the RCIA. They started that about thirty years ago." "Well, I don't know that much about it, but Jerry said I need a sponsor. I would like for you to be my sponsor, if you'll do it," I said. He didn't do or say anything for about five seconds. Then he grabbed me in a humongous hug. He had on shorts, but I was butt naked. That didn't matter a bit. I felt real love coming through that hug, and I knew he would do it. "Kyle, this is such an honor for me, son," he said. "I guess that's a 'yes,' right?" "Absolutely, Kyle. That's a double 'yes.' A quadruple 'yes.'" "Thanks, Doc," I said. "No. Thank you, Kyle. Thank you so much." That man took his religion serious. "Jerry gave me some pamphlets for you and me. They're at home. I'll give them to you," I said. "I'd like to see those, but I pretty much already know what's involved," he said. "Kyle, I can't tell you what an honor you have given me, son. You and I will be the best Catholics in the parish." I laughed. "I don't think I want to be the best. I just want to be an ordinary one," I said. He laughed, and I did, too. "I don't really think I do, either," he said. * * * That party on the island was great. Every bit of the food was catered, but it was delicious. Seth went home the next day, and that was kind of like the end of the summer for us. Every damn one of us cried when Seth left. We went in from the island pretty early, and I made us a nice going-away breakfast. He had his stuff all packed, and he and Cody stowed it in his car trunk. They were out there for a good long time by themselves, and I figured they were saying goodbye. Then we all went out. We shook hands with him, but everybody ended up hugging him, too. Hugged and bawled. He backed out of the driveway, headed to New Orleans. "This has been quite a summer for him," Kevin said. "Thank all of you for making it a great one." * * * We still had three more weeks before school started, but we were going to be in Montana for two of those weeks. That third week in August was going to be hell week for me. I had no idea when I ran for SGA president that I would have to spend so much time at school that summer, but spend time I did. I spent a lot of time in the darkroom, but that was my doings. I had to spend a lot of time doing SGA stuff, though, and that was the big surprise to me. Miss Sally and I got to be really good friends that summer. Hell, we spent a lot of time together. We might as well be friends. She had a vision of what Beachside High School could become, and she made sure I knew it and bought into it. She wanted that place to be an academic haven where the kids excelled. I kept telling her they didn't call us "Beach Rats" for nothing. "Kyle, don't say that ever again, please. Your father and I, just like you, are 'Beach Rats,' and I don't think it really fits," she said to me one day. "Yes, ma'am, I won't. I didn't know you were a Beach Rat." She laughed. "You little sh . . . " "You were going to say I was a little shit, weren't you?" I was laughing hard. "Yes, you little shit," she said. I laughed my ass off, and she laughed, too. "We can make this the best high school in the state, can't we, Miss Sally," I said. "I think we can, Kyle. Do you know about school grades?" "You mean grading the school?" "Yeah. We've been a grade B for three years, and this is our year to become a grade A," she said. "There are only like twelve grade A high schools in the state, and we can be one. All the rest of the high schools in the district have been grade C every year." "I'm all over that, Miss Sally. How do we do it?" "Well, it's based on test scores. Only the freshmen and sophomores, though. Not the upperclassmen. That's fundamentally wrong, I think, but that's what we have to live with." "Do you want me to get some boys together to bust some ass," I asked. She howled with laughter. "No, Kyle. No ass busting." "Fear inspires achievement," I said. "I mean, everybody studies because they fear failing. It can work school wide, you know?" "I'm thinking, Kyle. You just got me thinking," she said. "How about a buddy system. Match every freshman and sophomore up with a junior or senior. The upperclassmen make the underclassmen study and do good on the test," I said. "Like a mentor," she said. "Yeah, I like that idea." "If they don't do good on the test, then they bust ass," I said. She laughed hard again. She called in the two assistant principals and the four administrative assistants, which they also called Deans, or something like that. She had me explain what I had told her, and they liked the idea. By the time that meeting was over, we had us a plan. I felt kind of responsible for that, but all those grown-ups liked it. I guess it was okay. She put one of the assistant principals in charge of it, and the SGA was going to support it full out. * * * I more or less felt responsible for the trip to Montana, and Kevin and Rick had told me to plan it. I didn't know shit about Montana, so I had to log me some time on the w-w-w to find out about it. The headquarters for us was a town called Missoula, which is in the western part of the state, high in the Rocky Mountains. I did a Google Web search, of course, and I got a whole bunch of Web sites for Missoula. The University of Montana was there, which was the school Chris's dad, Dr. Uhle, taught at, so there were a lot of links to that. There were links to national parks, the Lewis and Clark Trail, museums, national wilderness areas, and that sort of thing. Those were some good links, and I knew we'd go to most, if not all, of those places. One link that caught my eye and my fancy, though, was to the Testicle Festival at the Rock Creek Lodge in Clinton, Montana, about 22 miles from Missoula. "I've been doing my homework for the trip," I said to all of them that night in the den. Actually, it was just Kevin, Rick, Justin, Brian, Tim, and me. I didn't know where Alex was, and I figured Jeff and Tyler were off screwing somewhere. "Tell us what you found out," Kevin said. "This is going to be an unbelievable trip," I said. "First of all, Missoula, where they live, is in the Rocky Mountains. Did y'all know that?" "I didn't know that, but I'm sure that doesn't come as a big surprise to anybody," Jus said. We laughed. "I didn't know it, either," I said. "But it is. I saw some pictures, and the scenery is beautiful." "Will there be skiing," Tim asked. Sometimes he said stuff that was just so off the wall I had to roll my eyes, but I didn't that time. Hell, there might be skiing somewhere around there in August. I didn't know. "I didn't see anything about skiing this time of year, but they definitely have skiing in the winter," I said. "There are two really big national parks near there, though. Glacier and Yellowstone. Each one's about three hours away. And hiking and camping all over the damn place. I think it's sort of like an outdoorsman's paradise." "Cool," they all more or less said. "The one thing I'm disappointed about, though, is we're going to be there about a month too early for the big festival," I said. "What festival is that," Kevin asked. "The Testicle Festival," I said. They all laughed. "I hear it's a ball," I said. They laughed some more. "Are you serious," Rick asked. "Yes, sir, I'm dead serious. It's in the third week of September in a place called Clinton. Sort of fits, doesn't it?" They screamed with laughter. "People go to that festival and go nuts," I said. "They go nuts and have a ball." "Kyle, you're making this all up," Kevin said. "No, sir. On my honor, I'm not. The Web site is testyfesty dot com. Look it up, if you don't believe me. It's all about bull nuts, which they call Rocky Mountain oysters." I couldn't help myself. I laughed. "People go there and get naked on the stage. Men and women. After I read about that, I typed 'testicle festival' into Google, and it gave me a ton of Web sites about other testicle festivals. They have them all over the place in the West. Canada, too. They have turkey testicle festivals all over the country, too. The one in Clinton is at the Rock Creek Lodge, and I think that must have been the first one of it's kind. It's been going on for like twenty years." "My God," Kevin said. "What? We have a Possum Festival just up the road from us, and there's the peanut festival and the watermelon festival," I said. "We have the Emerald Coast Seafood Festival every year," Rick said. "It draws a huge crowd." "Exactly," I said. "When we get back, I'm organizing the First Annual Emerald Beach Testicle Festival. It's going to be right here in this back yard, but we ain't serving bull nuts, that's for sure." Everybody laughed. "They actually eat bull nuts," Tim asked. "Evidently. They fry 'em or something. They marinate them in beer and then I guess they bread 'em. Deep-fried bull nuts. They say they taste a lot like chicken, only meatier. They serve 'em in restaurants in the West. If we go to a restaurant where they have 'em, I'm gonna eat me one, that's for damn sure. They say they improve sex," I said. "Makes you last longer or something. I don't know." "Just have a little taste of one, okay," Tim said. Everybody laughed their asses off when he said that. "On one Web site, they said the children in the Australian Outback go out every morning looking for sheep testicles to have for breakfast. They tie off the lambs' balls with rubber bands, and they eventually just fall off for lack of blood. They cook 'em up for breakfast," I said. "I can see all those Australian boys waiting at the bus stop with big ole dicks tenting out their pants," Justin said. "They call Australia 'down under,' but maybe it should be called 'up under,'" Brian said. That was pretty damn clever, and we all laughed. "I'm just giving you my research," I said. "Do with it what you will." "It sounds to me like this family needs to travel a lot more," Rick said. "Rick, I'm going whenever anybody goes anywhere, but this is a traveling family, man," Jus said. "I can't believe the places I've been since I've been here." "That's important to us, Jus," Rick said. "Where all have you been?" "New Orleans twice, Sarasota twice, North Carolina twice, Boston most recently, and New York a couple of months ago," Jus said. "Pretty soon Montana." "That's about right for a year and a half," I said. "You ain't really been to Atlanta yet, though, or Savannah or Charleston. Or Williamsburg or Washington or Philadelphia. Or San Antonio, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Miami, Chicago. All those places." "Have you been to all those places," Jus asked. "Yeah, and some more, too," I said. "You will, too, eventually, Bubba. I've never been to Montana, though, and I can't wait." "I actually checked my email today, and I had one from Chris," Jus said. "You did? What did he say," Kevin asked. "He's so excited he doesn't know what to do with himself," Jus said. "I had the same kind from him yesterday, Jus," I said. "We're going to have a hell of a good time, but this is also like a pilgrimage thing, too, you know? Chris hasn't made any friends there yet, and we're his friends. We're his best friends." "I know. I think right now I've got a friend in a low place," Jus said. "Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases," I sang. "My blues away, and I'll be okay." Every one of them knew all the words to that song, and we all sang it together, me leading. The "low places" of the song wasn't exactly what we meant about Chris, but the double meaning of "low" worked. He was low without friends in Montana. That was one of those great times when our family was all together. We were missing Jeff and Alex, of course, but they had lives to lead. And those lives weren't 100% connected to that family, like Tim's and mine, and Justin's and Brian's were. It was just the six of us going to Montana the next day, and I couldn't wait to see my little boy. |