I knew Kevin was worried about Andy and John visiting us. I wasn't worried in the least. I knew my boys would take care of them. I knew I had a family, and they didn't, and I knew my family was impressive. I had made up my mind I was going to look upon Andy and John as a couple who were potential friends of ours. I wasn't going to let myself feel guilty for not loving Andy. If a friendship developed, so be it. If one didn't develop, so be that, too. We had a yard full of boys and men when Andy and John got there. I expected them around four, so I started keeping an eye out for them when it got close to that time. I had skied earlier, and I still had my bathing suit on. I put on a tee shirt for when they got there. Kevin waited out front with me. "Hi," I said, when they pulled up. "Hi, Rick. Hi, Kevin," they both said. We shook hands. "You'll be able to park closer to the house once all the company leaves," I said. "Let me get your luggage." They popped the trunk. They each had one suitcase and they were sharing a bag for hang-up clothes. I took one suitcase and the other bag, and Kevin got the second suitcase. "You don't have to take those, boys," Andy said. "That's okay," I said. "Y'all are going to be on the third floor. I hope that's okay." "That'll be fine," Andy said. We took them in through the front door. "Guys, this place is beautiful," Andy said. "Yes, indeed," John agreed. "How long have you been here?" "Since last fall, I guess," I said. "Do you remember the month, Babe?" "November," Kevin said. "Don't you remember? We had Thanksgiving here." "Right," I said. "Is it big enough for everybody," Andy asked. "Yeah. In fact, we bought it to fill it up. There are seven bedrooms and six bathrooms," I said. "And a couple of powder rooms, too. The two rooms on the third floor are still empty, though. That's because most of the boys double up with their boyfriends." "Amazing," John said. We got them settled in the guest room, and then we took them out to the patio and pool area. We started introducing everyone. "If you're like me, you probably won't remember half the names," I said. "I think this might be a case of you being like me in that regard," Andy said. I chuckled. "True." It suddenly occurred to me that half of me was from him. I knew my mom probably knew the name of every kid in her school, and I couldn't remember names for shit. That was kind of a shock for me. That man really was my father, and even I knew I looked just like him. That he and I would have personality traits in common was a mind-blower. They were pretty impressed with the clubhouse and all the facilities. While we were in there, Kyle came up to say hello. "Hi, Grandpa," he said. Andy's face looked like he had been stricken. I was enjoying watching the encounter. "Hi, Kyle. It is Kyle, right?" "Yes, sir. It's Kyle. Did I say the wrong thing when I called you grandpa?" "Oh, no. That's fine. It's just that nobody has ever called me that before," Andy said. "You can call me Andy, too, though." "He actually prefers to be called gramps," John said. "You devil," Andy said to John. They both laughed. It was pretty obvious to me at that moment that they were as much in love with one another as Kevin and I were. "Would either of you like to water ski," Kyle asked. "We have a boat." "I haven't water skied in years," Andy said. "Neither have I," John affirmed. "Let's do it." "Okay," Andy said. "You have to wear a bathing suit to ski," Kyle said. There hadn't been any naked guys around the pool when we passed through that area, so they probably didn't get the full significance of why Kyle had said that. "Shucks," Andy said. "It would probably be okay if they skied naked, don't you think, Rick," Kyle asked. "Yeah, I guess so," I said. Kyle and I both knew what was going on. "God in heaven! That's the last thing anybody wants to see! The two of us skiing naked," John said. "It's not bad. I've done it," Kyle said. "Yeah, and you look like you just stepped out of a Bowflex commercial, too. I think a suit will be just fine," Andy said. "We all do usually swim naked," I said. "We were just pulling your leg about skiing naked, though. Although we do have some video on the family Web site of this guy and his brother skiing nude." "You have a family Web site," John asked. "Yeah. We'll make sure you're set up as users before you leave," I said. "That's a project that Jeff and Kyle have been working on. It's a lot of fun." "It's a great way for all of our friends to keep up with us," Kyle said. "And it's really not hard to do." "I'll bet," Andy said. "I can't wait to see it." * * * Kyle and Justin, unasked, made Andy and John their personal project. Every time I looked at them, one or other or both of the older guys were laughing. They convinced Andy and John to strip down to get in the pool after they skied, and I had to admit they both looked pretty good. Andy was twenty when I was born, which meant he was probably 46 or 47. I had a vague recollection that his birthday was in September, so he was probably still 46. They were both trim, and it appeared that they were fairly well toned. "That's what you're going to look like in twenty years," Kevin said. "That wouldn't be too bad, would it," I asked. "No, not at all. They're both in decent shape, it seems. They could use a tan, though," he said. "Yeah, I know." "I see where this thing came from, too," he said, pulling on my dick. I grinned. "The old fellow's got him one, doesn't he?" "Ask him if it still works. Tell him I want to know because I have a vested interest in the family genes," Kevin said. "Okay. I'll get Kyle or Justin to ask him." "Knowing them, they'd probably do it, too," he said. "Oh, I feel sure they would," I replied. We both laughed. * * * The pool party broke up fairly early, and everything was picked up and we were all in the den by ten o'clock. That's when the family party began. The kids were still outside getting everything squared away, and it was just Andy, John, Kevin, and I inside. "Andy and John, what's going to happen now is what we call 'Family Time.' All the friends are gone, and it's just the immediate family, plus boyfriends. Family Time is some of the very best time for us," I said. "Rick and Kevin, your boys are incredible," Andy said. "I've never really been around teenagers and young adults since I was a kid myself, and I was always sort of afraid of them, I think. Tonight was a real eye-opener for me." "Me, too," John said. "You read all this stuff about gay teens, and teens in general, being all screwed up, but these boys are just so . . . What's the word I'm looking for, Babe?" "Normal?" "Exactly. They're just so normal and easy to be around," he said. "Well, they all have their stories, that's for sure," Kevin said. "But you're right, John. They are pretty normal and reasonably well-adjusted kids." "That Kyle kid is incredible," Andy said. "There will be no stopping him in the future." "I know. His father is Gene Goodson. You met him in Sarasota. Gene is our boss, and he owns what we think of as the Goodson Empire. Kyle will inherit every bit of that. His brother passed away last October, and he's the only one left. He's totally down to earth, though, isn't he," I said. "I'll say," Andy said. The boys poured into the back door just then, and they came into the den. It was Tim, Justin, Brian, Jeff, Tyler, Seth, Cody, and Alex. "Where's Kyle," I asked. "He's making treats," Tim said. "He'll be here in a minute." In a couple of minutes, Kyle stuck his head into the den and whistled. He made a hand signal that meant "come on," and Tim, Justin, and Brian got up to go see what he wanted. They came back in a minute or two loaded down. There was a tray with the treats: Tick Supreme, Popcorn Candy, and Chicken Nuts. There was a small cooler of beer, encased in ice. There was a second small cooler of soft drinks, also in ice. And there was a tray with glasses and various bottles of liquor and liqueurs. Kyle was showing off, and I loved him for doing it. "Wow! This is impressive," Andy said. "Thanks," Kyle said. The boys made their own drinks, but Kyle took care of the four grown-ups. Then he finally sat down. "Damn, Kyle, you tire me out just watching you," Justin said. "Don't look, then," Kyle said. "I don't like the way you look at me, anyway. You visually rape me." Tim and Brian laughed out loud. "What's that about," Kevin asked. "We were in a gay coffee shop in Boston, and Jus said he thought there were homosexuals in there and they were visually raping him," Tim said. "Don't look at me like that, Kevin," Justin said, threateningly. "You shit," Kevin said. He threw a handful of Tick Supreme at Justin, and Trixie got more of it than Justin did. Everybody laughed. We talked about a million things that night, and the boys were as funny as they had ever been. Andy and John laughed their asses off, and the rest of us did, too. They had had a long, hard day, driving from Sarasota and then the party and all. They were the first to say good night and go to bed. "If there was ever any doubt, I think it all got cleared up tonight," I said. "Doubt about what," Tim asked. "About whether Kevin and I have the best kids in the world," I said. "Oh, that," Jeff said. We all laughed.
"You're thinking about those kids, aren't you," John said. We had been in bed for more than five minutes, and neither of us had said a word at that point. He knew me better than I knew myself, sometimes, and he was right on target. "They're pretty incredible, aren't they. I get the feeling that Tim, Kyle, Justin, Brian, and Jeff are the main ones. The first echelon, so to speak. Seth is really just a houseguest for the summer, and Alex is a relative newcomer." "Very good," John said. "You got them all right. Do you know the boyfriends, too?" "I think it's Jeff and Tyler, and Seth and Cody," I said. "There are more than that," he said. "Well, of course. Tim and Kyle, and Justin and Brian." "Very good. For you," he said. We both chuckled. That was an old line, and we used it on one another endlessly. "That Kyle and that Justin are really hot, too, don't you think?" "Stop it! Those are my grandsons you're talking about," I said. "Oh, so you're willing to be an old grandpa now, are you?" I laughed. "They didn't get this thing just a little wet and sticky," he asked, touching my penis. "No, and they didn't get yours wet and sticky, either, now did they," I said. Then it was his turn to laugh. "You know me too well, Andy." "They're beautiful boys, though, aren't they?" "Yes, they are. When I think of those queens at Bourbon Street back home, it's like they're working from two different definitions of what being gay means," he said. "Don't make fun of the San Diego boys. I'm sure there are gay boys like these there, too. We just don't happen to know any," I said. "I'm sure you're right," he said. "Somehow, I just can't picture Kyle or Justin in eye shadow." I laughed hard. "Rick, yes, but not them." I gave him a swift elbow to his side, and he grabbed me hard. We were both laughing at our antics. "Shut up so we can go to sleep," I said. "I love you," he said. "I love you, too. Good night."
I was up early Sunday morning. I didn't know what it was, but I think I needed less sleep than a lot of people. If there was something to get done, I had to get up and do it. Andy and John were in the house, and I wanted to make sure that Sunday breakfast was big and good. We were going to have scrambled eggs, of course, and they were going to be whole eggs, not that watered-down egg-white crap that Rick always wanted. I counted up thirteen in the house for that morning, so I was going to use four dozen eggs. I had found some frozen biscuits. I'm not talking about frozen biscuits in a can. I'm talking real biscuits that somebody had rolled out and cut out. I baked up one of those bad boys to see what they were going to be like, and it was just as light and fluffy and golden brown as any biscuit I had ever seen. I was excited about them. There would have to be some sausage gravy with those. There would also have to be some red-eye gravy, to go on the ham and the grits. I knew Justin would love that. I had found some really nice country ham to use to make the red-eye gravy, so the meal was shaping up. I had bought a nice tray of melon and other fresh fruit to add to the mix. I got some real thick bacon, too, that I cooked in the microwave and would warm up on the stove when it was close to time to eat. I was satisfied I had a good menu. Three meats, two gravies, eggs, grits, fruit, and biscuits. I had a couple of frozen coffee cakes that needed to be baked, too, and that was going to be breakfast. We'd have juice, milk, water, and coffee, too. That was about right, I thought. I had everything squared away in the kitchen, and I looked at my watch. It was still only 6:30. I had already been up an hour and a half, and I had been busy the whole time. Trixie woke up about then, and I let her out. I decided to go ahead and set the table. That was pretty easy, except that the dining room table was really meant for twelve, not thirteen. They only had twelve chairs. I had to improvise, so I got a folding chair from the clubhouse and wedged it in. I'd use that one. I wished I had some fresh flowers, but I hadn't thought to get any. I did the horse statue thing again, like we had done for Tim's party. When I was finished, I was satisfied the table looked good. I finally sat down in the den with a cup of coffee at seven o'clock. I wasn't there long enough to even get sleepy when Rick came in. "Hey. What are you doing up so early," he asked me. "Sitting here jerking off," I said. "I guess the others made all that breakfast shit that's out there," he said. "No, Trixie did." He laughed. "You know you don't have to do all that you do, don't you, Bubba?" "I can't have fun in this house? Is that what you're saying?" He laughed. "Kyle, promise me one thing, okay?" "What?" "Promise me you'll never take a job in a restaurant," he said. "Why not? Don't we have restaurants," I asked. "Yeah, but you're in the hotel business, Bubba. You're going to love that even more. I'm just afraid that if you get hung up on restaurants you won't ever want to discover how much fun hotel work is," he said. "Do you miss the hotel business," I asked. It had just occurred to me that my dad had more or less railroaded Kevin into the hotel side of the business and Rick into the gift shop side. "No. I really love the gift shop business. Really," he said. "Besides, I did the golf courses, remember? I've never actually worked in a hotel." Tim came stumbling in just about then. He kissed me good morning. "Get me some coffee," he said. "Okay," I said. "You are so whipped, Kyle," Rick said. He grinned at me. I got coffee for Tim, and the three of us sat there drinking it. In about two minutes Kevin came in, kissed Rick, and said, "Get me some coffee." Rick was out of his seat like a shot. I started laughing. "Shut the fuck up, Kyle," Rick said, and he and I laughed hard. * * * That was a slow morning, like it always is after a party. The family was all in just their briefs, but Andy and John were dressed for the day. I guess nobody had told them the family tradition. I got coffee for both of them. I had picked up a few little doughnuts and sweet rolls, so I brought those out. They thought that was breakfast. "You guys are feeding us too well," John said. "This ain't breakfast. This is just a snack," I said. "We're going to eat breakfast--brunch, really--at 11:30. Jeff and Tyler should be down by then." "You're kidding, right," Andy said. "No, sir, I'm not," I said. That's about when Jeff and Tyler drifted down. We had a typical Sunday morning. Brian showed off the tricks he had taught Trixie, and they were pretty awesome. She could do a back flip, and that was something pretty spectacular for a dog her size. Some read the two newspapers we got on Sunday, the local one and the New York Times. Seth was a crossword puzzle nut, but he did it all out loud so everybody could participate. We tried to make every word in the puzzle as dirty as we could, whether they fit the spaces or not. The big stumper that day was a nine-letter word for urination, starting with an M. "Masturbate," Justin said. "Do you know what 'urination' means," Brian asked. "Pissin', right?" "He masturbates as much as everybody else pisses," I said. "At least he got the body part right." "Fuck you," he said. "You keep promising, but . . . " He threw a pillow at my head, and I let it bounce off me. Andy and John were laughing their asses off, but I noticed they didn't know the right word, either. "Matrickleate," Jeff said. Andy and John thought that was the funniest damn thing they had ever heard. "Mac-you-ate," Brian said. "Mackuate? That don't make sense, Little Buddy," Justin said. "Sure it does. You eat a Big Mac, drink a super-sized coke. You gotta piss," Brian said. Everybody laughed. "How about 'mygodrelief," Andy said. "I've been there a few times," Rick said, and we laughed. "We've all been there," Kevin said. "Look up the answer, Seth," Jeff said. He and Tyler had gotten down earlier than usual. Seth flipped to the page with the answers. "The answer is 'micturate,'" Seth said. "I've never heard that word before," Justin said. "Neither have I," Kevin said. I figured if Kevin hadn't heard it, nobody had. "Look it up, Kev," Rick said. Kevin got the dictionary from the bookcase in the room. He looked the word up. "One definition, and one definition only: urinate," he said. "I knew that," I said. "You dumb shit. You didn't know that," Rick said. "But you knew I was going to say it, didn't you?" "Yeah," Rick said. "Andy and John, welcome to the Psychic Friends Network," Jeff said. "These are the two psychic friends." About a quarter to eleven, I got up to go into the kitchen. The breakfast was about 75% made, but I still had some things to do. I was in there a few minutes when Rick came in. "You need any help," he asked. The stove was a commercial one, and there were eight burners and two regular ovens. There was also a big griddle area. That's where I was going to heat up the bacon. I had a pan of sausage going and a pan of ham. The grits were in the oven, along with the biscuits. "Put the fruit out, please, and some jelly and butter, too," I said. "Make sure there's salt and pepper on the table, and we're going to need cream and sugar, too." "What did you do? Memorize a list?" I laughed. "If you do what you're told, I'll teach you how to make red-eye," I said. I had everything ready and on the table by the stroke of 11:30. We had all put on shorts and tee shirts to eat, although we didn't usually do that. Rick said the blessing: "Dear God, you gathered us at this table from all around the country, each one different, yet each one fundamentally the same; each one gay, yet each one made in your image and likeness. Bless our unity among diversity, and bless these gifts which we are about to receive from your bounty, through Christ, our Lord . . . " "Amen," the group said together. "Before we eat, I'd like to say our official welcome to Andy and John. You are welcome at our table and in our family," Rick said. We all clapped, and Andy got a little misty-eyed, it seemed. Everybody enjoyed the breakfast, or seemed to. Justin ate four biscuits with sausage gravy and a ton of grits with red-eye gravy. The California visitors tasted both, but I could tell they weren't used to eating stuff like that. I was satisfied that everybody got a good meal. * * * It didn't take people long to get to the house that afternoon, and we pretty much did what we always did. My dad and Doc came by to say hello to Andy and John. They ended up getting into a bridge game that lasted a good three hours. I ran the ski boat for most of the afternoon. At one point, while we were taking a break from skiing, that family of dolphins that had been coming to the lagoon off and on all summer paid us a visit. I was in the clubhouse trying to cool off a little when Brian came in with the news. "The dolphins are here," he said. "I'd like to see that," Andy said. "We have sea lions in San Diego. People actually get into the water with them." "We swim with our dolphins," Bri said. "Do you want to?" "Is it safe," Doc asked. "We've been doing it all summer, Dad," Tim said. "It's safe," Rick said. "Just don't jump on them and try to ride them. They have tender skin, and that can hurt them." We all went down to the dock. I got a boatload of people ready to go, and Jus, Jeff, Tyler, and I paddled out to where they were. "The most fun is to swim with them naked," I said. "That's what we do." Trixie was the first one in, and one of the kid dolphins came up to tell her hello. They sniffed at each other, but it really looked like they were kissing. "Get a picture," Bri said. I had already snapped several, but I got some more. He was sure crazy about that dog. I mean, we all loved her, but she and Brian were special friends. We played with the dolphins for about an hour, which was all the time they ever hung around us, and then we went back inside. I was tired, so I went up to our room to take a little nap. Before I laid down, though, I checked my email. I had written one to Chris, and I thought maybe he'd have one back to me. He didn't, but I had one from Chip. "Dear Kyle, "Man, I miss you and all the other guys in Emerald Beach. I've been here at boys' church camp for two weeks, and I hate it. This is supposed to be a Christian group, but some of these guys here are some mean sons of bitches, let me tell you. "We have to take showers in a gang shower. Well, you know I don't have a problem with that with you guys, but I hate having to do it here. You know I'm a slow developer, and I can't do anything about that. Nobody at your house has ever said a word to me about that, and I know everybody has seen it. Well, they started making fun of me the very first day, and they've kept it up. I'm the type who gets pretty emotional when I get mad, and I cried one day when this big prick (not that kind of prick; the obnoxious kind) was picking on me. He said he didn't believe I could get hard, so this other asshole grabbed me from behind and his friend started rubbing me. Well, guess what? I got hard. That's happened to me a few times at your pool, and everybody just ignored it. Not here. They started calling me fag and homo, and said they knew I wanted it up my butt. That made me really mad, and that's when I started crying. "I told them I was going to tell the camp director what they had done, and they said they'd fuck me in the ass that night, if I did. They said they knew I wanted it. "Kyle, I was so embarrassed and ashamed I didn't know what to do. That's not the worst part, though. Nobody would sit at the table with me that night to eat. We happened to have hotdogs for dinner, and about half the guys in the place came by and dropped a hotdog on my plate. I don't know where the damn counselor was, but the one who usually eats with us must have been in the counselors' dining room with the others. Everybody in the place started chanting "Ho-mo! Ho-mo!" Two guys picked me up and started parading around with me above their heads, and everybody was still chanting "Ho-mo! Ho-mo!" I wanted to die. "They still won't sit at my table, and everybody leaves the shower room when I come in. They don't talk to me except to call me names, and everybody gets off the path when I pass by, like I had some bad disease, or something. I hate it here, and I want to go home. I tried to call my parents twice earlier today, but they didn't answer. I left a message, but it's very hard for them to call me because of the way the camp is set up. "I know you can't do anything about it, but I just feel better telling somebody what's been going on. Say hello to everybody for me. I don't care if you let them read this because I want my friends to know. "Your friend, "Chip" Oh, yes, there is something I can do about it, I thought. I printed that letter right away. I was so mad I couldn't have taken a nap if they had given me a drug to make me sleep, and I didn't want that cute little kid to have to spend another minute in that fucking hell hole. I didn't know where the camp was; otherwise, I'd have gotten Tim, Justin, and Brian to go with me to get him. What I decided to do instead was to show the letter to Kevin and Rick. Rick and Kevin were sitting on the patio talking to Andy and John when I went outside. "I need to talk to you right now," I said when I walked up. I must have had worry on my face or something. "What's wrong," Kevin asked. I could tell he and Rick knew something was up. I don't frown very often, but, when I do, they know to take it serious. "I want to show you something," I said. "We'll give you guys some privacy," Andy said, and he and John moved away from us. I appreciated that. "Read this. I just got it," I said. Kevin read the letter, and he got a pained look on his face. Then he gave it to Rick to read, and I could tell he was getting madder by the minute. Kevin picked up his cell from the table right in front of him and punched a speed button. He listened for a while, but there must not have been an answer. "They're still not home," he said. "Who? Jack? Try the hotel. He might be MOD today. He does that on weekends sometimes," Rick said. Kevin hit another speed button. "Hello, this is Kevin Foley. Is Mr. Rooney there, by chance?" Pause. "Let me speak to him." Pause. "Jack, this is Kevin Foley. I need you to come over to our house. Can you drop everything and get right over here?" Pause. "Nobody's hurt, but I think it's something you'll want to know about right away." Pause. "Okay. See you in ten." "Jack's coming over," Kev said. "I have a feeling Chip won't spend another night among the Christians." Rick and I both laughed a little. "I can't believe that shit," Rick said. "I mean, I definitely can believe it. I just hate it." "I'm going with Mr. Rooney," I said. "No, you're not, unless he asks you to go," Rick said. "You did the right thing by showing that to us, but you don't need to be butting in to their business, Bubba." "I'm going to find out where that fucking camp is and . . . " "And what, Kyle? Burn it down? Punish the pricks by being the biggest prick of them all? I know Chip is your friend, Kyle. He's a friend of all of us, but you've already done the best thing you could have done, Son. Let Mr. Rooney handle it," Rick said. I didn't say anything. I had seen Tim watching what was going on, and he came over to me. He put his arm around me. "Is everything okay, Babe," he asked gently. "No. Read this," I said, handing him the letter. Tim read the letter and just looked at the three of us. He had big tears in his eyes. "I know," I said. Mr. Rooney got there just then. "Jack, Kyle got this email from Chip this afternoon. We thought you should see it," Kevin said. Mr. Rooney read the letter, and tears started rolling down his cheeks. "I've got to go get him," he said. "I'm MOD right now, though." "We'll cover that for you," Kevin said. "Bring him back here where his friends are and where people love him, Jack." "I will. It's only about an hour away. I know he'll want to see you guys tonight, if that's all right," Mr. Rooney said. "My wife's in Memphis visiting her sister." "He can spend the night, Mr. Rooney. In fact, you can both spend the night," I said. "I'm sure he'll want to, but not for me, thanks, Kyle. Well, let me go." "Do you want some company," I asked. Rick looked daggers through me when I said that. "I think Chip and I need time to talk, Kyle, but thanks for the offer," Mr. Rooney said. It was about four o'clock in the afternoon, and there was a really nice sea breeze blowing. The sun was still way high in the sky, but the breeze cooled things off. Mr. Rooney had taken the letter, so I went upstairs and printed another copy so the others could see it. "Get your brothers rounded up in the den," Kevin told me and Tim when I came back out. "Kevin and Rick want us in the den right now," I told Justin and Brian. "For what?" "You'll see, Jus," I said. Tim and I rounded them all up, and Rick asked Andy and John to come in with us, too, probably since they were staying there. "Kyle got an email from Chip a little while ago, and it's pretty bad," Kevin said. "Mr. Rooney just left to get him from camp, and he's coming over here. Kyle, would you read it to us, please." I read the letter out loud, and I got so fucking mad that Tim had to take over for me. "Poor guy," Andy said when Tim had finished. "Andy, this kid is as cute as they come. He's almost fifteen . . . " "His birthday was last week," Brian said. "He was gone, and we were, too." "Okay, he's fifteen. He has delayed puberty, and he's no bigger than a minute. We met him when he saved Rick's surfboard for him, but it turned out he's the son of the manager of the hotel where the guys work. He latched on to us, and he's fit right into the family," Kevin said. "Is he gay," John asked. "We don't really know, do we, guys," Rick said. We all said "no." "So what are we going to do when he gets here, guys," Kevin asked. "I say we make him get naked, pick his ass up, and parade him around saying, 'He-ro! He-ro!," Justin said. "That's it! That's fucking it," I said, and he and I knocked fists. "I feel kind of bad, though," Justin said. "You should," Brian said. "I know." "What the hell did you do," I demanded. "I called him Peanut 'cause his dick's no bigger than a peanut," Jus said. "You called him that to his face," I said, almost yelling. "Back off, Kyle. Not to his face. Gimme some credit, man. I said it to Brian and Alex. I'm sorry I said it, okay?" "Kyle, the thing is, if we started calling him Peanut because his dick's no bigger than a peanut, he wouldn't mind because it was us doing it," Jeff said. "Do you remember the first afternoon we met Chris? We were all in the pool, just getting to know him, and Jus said he had never been around a disabled person before. Jus said he wanted Chris to know he might slip and say something offensive without realizing it. Chris said he could tell mean from not mean, and he already knew we would never be mean. I think it's the same thing with Chip. We can all start calling him Peanut, and even tell him why, and he won't care one damn bit. He knows we're his friends." "I think maybe we should all have vegetable nicknames. I'm going to start calling Kyle Zucchini," Justin said. "Oh, yeah, Cucumber," I asked. We all laughed. "You got to call me and Kevin Banana, 'cause we've got to be peeled," Tim said. That made us laugh even more. "Guys, I think we're getting a little carried away here," Rick said. "Why is that, Peanut," Justin asked. That was all it took. Andy and John weren't used to us yet, and they were laughing so hard I thought they would need oxygen. We kept it up a while longer, and we had a good time playing around with nicknames. Nobody said anything about Seth and Cody, who really did have little dicks, at least soft, not that they would have minded by that point in the summer. By the time we got back outside, a good many people were gone. Monte and Terry were still there, as were Sam and Fred, and Chad and Gage. Philip and Ryan left a note to say they had a good time but that they had to go. Morgan, Blake, and Riley were gone, too, but I knew they had to go to another church service that night. My dad and Doc were gone. Jerry had to say the six o'clock Mass, so he, Pat, and Mike Lawley were gone, too. It was just us and our real good friends. I knew everybody was getting hungry, so I stoked up the grills. I had thawed out some ground beef (chuck roast) the night before and had made hamburger patties that morning. They were good and thick, and my stomach growled when I saw them. I was going to serve hotdogs, too. "You can't serve those tonight," Rick said, right after I had put the first hotdog on the grill. "Shit, you're right," I said. I snatched that thing up off the grill in a heartbeat. I flung it over my shoulder into the pool. Trixie barked once, and in she went. She got that thing and came up to us. She flung her head back and forth a few times to kill that snake for us. Little pieces of hotdog went everywhere. "Eat," Brian said. She cocked her head at him so cute, like she was waiting for a clarification. "Eat it, girl," Brian said again. She started wagging like crazy, and she was all over eating that hotdog. It was like the two-second weenie. The food was ready when Mr. Rooney and Chip got there. Chip ran across the patio and jumped up on me, grabbing me around the neck with his arms and around the waist with his legs. He was crying hard, but I knew they were happy tears. "Come on. Let's go," I shouted. Justin and I got him on our shoulders, and then we lifted him up even higher. He didn't weigh more than a feather. He was laughing and giggling his ass off, even though he was crying at the same time. He knew he was home with his boys. "He-ro! He-ro! He-ro!," we chanted. Then Justin started up. "Pea-nut! Pea-nut! Pea-nut!" we all said. We finished it all off by throwing him in the pool and jumping in with him. Even Kevin and Rick, and Andy and John. Mr. Rooney was standing on the side, grinning. Justin went after him to throw him in, and they squared off, grinning at each other. We calmed down, and we took off our wet clothes. We were all just as naked as the day we were born, and Chip was grinning so hard he could hardly make his mouth work to eat. "Why'd you call me Peanut," Chip asked, after we were eating. "'Cause of this," Jus said. He grabbed Chip's dick. "This here's a peanut." "I know," Chip said, "but here I don't care." |